October 15, 2025 • 37 mins
We invite Alyx Coble-Frakes of The Agenda Period to rethink how we plan work, energy, and home life around the menstrual cycle and perimenopause. We share practical tools, clear language, and real stories that make tracking and advocacy feel doable, not awkward.
• aligning work tasks to the four phases
• perimenopause symptoms and brain changes
• period leave and humane workplace policies
• daily check-ins to reveal patterns
• moon mapping for irregular or absent cycles
• equity at home and renegotiating labor
• brain fog basics and relief strategies
• building habits that stick with small steps
• resources and where to find The Agenda Period
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:02):
Hi, I'm Carlene, and this is Diva.
Tonight on this series of Thisis 40.
We talk about love,relationships, and the
challenges that women face intheir lives.
A lot of my guests are women,female entrepreneurs, and I'm
excited.
I have with me Alex KobleFriggs.
(00:23):
She is the creator of theagenda, and she is helping other
women organize their lives basedon their cycles.
You know, I I just have to say,this is so interesting what
you've created, and you know,it's great.
So how are you?
SPEAKER_03 (00:41):
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm good.
I am my period is supposed toarrive at any time, but I am in
perimenopause, the early, likethe months.
I'm like in like month three ofperimenopause.
And so it's already, she's notcoming when she's supposed to be
coming.
So who knows?
It could be today, it could bein a week because it's it's all
getting a little shifty overhere at um the agenda period
(01:01):
headquarters.
SPEAKER_02 (01:02):
So yeah.
Oh my goodness, you are so openand honest.
So yeah, I'm I'm on my period.
I don't normally, you know, saythat, but since you're sharing,
we're sharing.
SPEAKER_03 (01:13):
We share.
We there TMI for our team setstands for tell me immediately,
right?
Like there's nothing, there'snothing too much for the agenda
period team.
We're like, people message usabout their discharge, and I'm
like, cool, thank you for thatvisual that now lives in my head
forever.
SPEAKER_02 (01:29):
Yeah, I don't know if I would give you my rap
sheet, but uh let me just sayit's been a rough cycle, but
this is not about me, it's moreabout you and and what you've
done with this app.
So it's an app, you have theagenda and also the journal.
And so what brought on thisidea?
(01:50):
Why did you start the agenda?
SPEAKER_03 (01:52):
It's a crazy story.
So I have a business degree, soI went to a small business
school and a private businessschool in Iowa, and then I was a
Peace Corps volunteer.
So I lived in Peru for twoyears.
I kind of traveled around, did alot of work with different
nonprofits.
I came, I came home and Icouldn't find a job that I
really liked because again, Iwanted apparently to be the boss
of something because I just keptgetting advice with my
(02:14):
supervisors.
I was like, you guys are boring,lack innovation, creativity.
Let me go do something formyself.
Because I was actually the onlything they all had in common.
So, like, I'm a total pain inthe butt for all of my past, my
past employers because I justwanted to bring the creative
spark.
So I started a health andwellness coaching company in
2018 because I had been workingfor other health companies as a
side gig since 2015.
(02:36):
And I felt like full into theworld of coaching and health and
hormonal health.
And I had read a lot abouthormonal health in college, and
I hadn't really done much withit.
So I started tracking my saleswhen I started my health
coaching company, and I foundthat I had higher sales during
the ovulation phase than anyother phase of the cycle.
And I was like, what ishappening?
This is not something we learnedabout in business school.
(02:58):
So I did some research to see ifthere was anything else on out
there in the market or anythingtalking about this topic.
And I found a study of exoticdancers, and they split them
into women who are on birthcontrol and not on birth
control.
And the women who were not onbirth control all made more
money in tips during ovulation,up to 30% more than any other
time in their their month.
And all of the women who are onhormonal birth control saw no
(03:21):
variation in their tipsthroughout the month.
So it was this crazy, crazystudy to me showing like some of
the we're now the science isstarting to get clear that women
need to exercise differently andeat differently to support their
phases, right?
Cycle sinking, it's becomingreally popular.
And yet, still to this day,there aren't many people talking
about it six years later aboutthe world of work because it
(03:43):
really impacts our mood when wehave high levels of estrogen
versus high levels ofprogesterone.
That impacts our social skills,it impacts our speech patterns,
it impacts how we understand andlike even our sense of humor.
Like if we think something'sfunny versus when we don't think
it's funny.
Like you could tell me the samejoke every day, and in the
Ludial phase, you might getsmacked if you tell me that same
(04:04):
joke again because I'd be like,You're gonna talk to me like
that today?
What?
I don't think so.
Read read the agenda.
That is not that is notapproved.
That's not approved content fortoday, right?
Like we know that women are fourdifferent people, and yet we
can't really talk about it.
We know this because, but womencan't talk about it because then
they get made fun of.
(04:24):
You said at the beginning ofthis podcast you didn't even
want to say you're on yourperiod, because that'd be weird,
right?
Like we we grow up knowing thatall of these things are that are
kind of deeply identified withus being women are just going to
be bad experiences.
We learn that our periods suck,we learn that it's gonna be
terrible to be pregnant, thatpostpartum is gonna be a real
kick in the shorts, and then, ohlook, now you get to work your
(04:46):
way through menopause.
Good luck being a woman sucks.
And I just don't think it'ssupposed to be that way.
And as the world has evolved andmodernized, we've lost a lot of
the ancient wisdom and the stuffthat was passed down from
generation to generation abouthow to live within these systems
in a way that feels really goodfor our health because our body
evolved on purpose to have amenstrual cycle.
(05:08):
We're one of five species on theplanet that has a period and one
of five species on the planetthat goes through menopause.
Women, we are designed like thisover for whatever reason, our
ancestors and our geneticsdecided this was the best way to
do it.
And so, where women in themodern world get choked up is
living anathetically to the waytheir body wants to work and the
way their body does work.
(05:29):
We are not little men.
So that's kind of the windingway with how we got here.
Just like wanting to help somepeople out, and it's just been
kind of falling down the rabbithole ever since.
SPEAKER_02 (05:40):
So you said a lot about you know your journey to
here and now and just theproduct itself and how women's
anatomy works and and justmenopause, perimenopause, and
even our hormone null changes.
But I want to ask you was littleAlex like, you know, the
troublemaker in class?
Was she like, you know?
SPEAKER_03 (06:01):
I was a total nerd.
I was a 100% nerd in the bestway.
And I got my earliest, thereweren't like entrepreneurs
directly in my family, butwhat's interesting is my
great-grandpa ran some bakeriesapparently on the East Coast,
like Pennsylvania, went toWharton's School of Business,
but that was way before, waybefore I was born.
So a lot of my like my both onmy mom's and dad's side, there's
(06:23):
a lot of farming, like peoplewho did farming, which in a way
is its own small business, orright?
Like having your own kind ofplot of land and and selling
things into the market.
And then a lot of education.
So my mom's a teacher, mygrandma's a teacher, my
grandpa's a teacher.
So this weird intersection,actually, kind of between
business and education.
And I was a Girl Scout.
So I don't know if you guys havethat in Toronto, but sold cook
(06:44):
hopped cookies on the streetcorner with my first
entrepreneurial gig.
So shout out, hashtag the GirlGirl Scouts on this episode,
teaching young girls aboutentrepreneurship through boxes,
cardboard boxes of cookies.
So that was my good, Alex.
SPEAKER_01 (06:59):
They were good, you know.
You know what?
You're always like, I shouldn'tbe eating any cookies, but what?
SPEAKER_03 (07:07):
But their flavors are oh, but give me a give me a
pack of thin mints that's beensat in a freezer for a month,
and I'm just we'll go to town onthe whole box.
SPEAKER_02 (07:16):
Oh my gosh, this is so great.
I love it.
Um, yeah, you're changing thenarrative in a good way because
I think it's like yourbackground and who you are as a
person has gotten you to thispoint in life, and it's amazing,
right?
Because, like you said, it's thethe conversation that people
don't want to have at work, andit's really hard.
(07:36):
Like as a as a woman, I feellike a lot of women don't talk
about it's like it's like theelephant in the room.
Like, you know, like if you haveto miss work because you're on
your period or you're having allthese symptoms, and like they're
even though you can get thoseaccommodations, it's still not
easy.
Like, I mean, they just changedit now.
We're still a long way fromunderstanding it in the
(07:59):
workplace, I feel.
SPEAKER_03 (08:01):
We're so far.
We're we're so, so, so far awayfrom that because yeah, like
it's something like 80% of womenlose work or have presentedism
or absenteeism from work duringperimenopause because of
symptomatic, a lack ofsymptomatic support.
And even a lack of understandingthat these things are tied to
perimenopause.
We're still so far from womenunderstanding that because they
(08:21):
don't even understand everythingthat's going on with their
normal menstrual cycle.
So that's it's hard to see thechanges when they start to
happen, right?
And and even the medicalcommunity is starting to catch
up, but now the most recentstudies are showing, like, yeah,
it's pretty common for women'shormones to start changing when
they're around 34 or 35.
And that doesn't mean you'regoing into menopause, it just
(08:42):
means you're doing, I've beenhearing it called cougar
puberty.
So it's like puberty in reverse,and then you're just like
getting like hot because you'rejust caring about your own stuff
now.
You're not caring about everyoneelse as much.
So a little cougar puberty, andI I love that.
But people need to wake upbecause if 80% of people are
missing work because of this,women are dropping out of the
(09:03):
workforce during perimenopausewhen they can't get that
symptomatic relief.
And 70% of divorces initiated bywomen are anticipated to happen
during perimenopause.
So this is a global problem thateverybody needs to be paying
attention to that we still can'thave the conversation about.
So yeah, we've got a long way togo on that one.
SPEAKER_02 (09:20):
So since we're talking about that, what do you
feel would be a solution, likethe starting point?
SPEAKER_03 (09:25):
I think federally mandated period leave would be
amazing.
I mean, we don't even havematernity leave in the United
States.
So again, I think that is kindof like the first frontier to be
protected, is there's not like agood federal program with a
minimum amount of days like youguys have in Canada.
So the US is pretty far behindon that.
But period leave, we have to getover because like the pushback
(09:46):
that we always hear is that,well, it's not fair then.
But we're we're not looking ateveryone getting the same thing,
we're looking at everyonegetting what they need.
So just because your workplacepolicy offers you eye insurance,
it doesn't mean everyone gets apair of glasses, right?
Because not everyone needs apair of glasses, but they still
offer it to people.
And so I think that this kind ofleave should be the same way.
I think it should be over andabove typical sickness.
(10:08):
And then beyond that, like kindof looking at that's free period
leave is kind of what I calllike the bottom of the stream
problem, right?
Like people keep falling instream and we keep fishing them
out of the river.
Like, hey, that would be kind ofa good band-aid solution for
people having extreme periodpain.
We really need to trace up theriver and find out why everyone
keeps having period pain,because period pain is not
(10:29):
actually normal.
Our menstrual cycle is a, it'ssuper duper common.
Most women on the planet areprobably experiencing high
levels of pain, but that's notactually how our body is
supposed to deal with thisevent.
Menstruation should not beextremely, extremely, extremely
painful.
The issue is that there are notenough women getting that
hormonal health support.
And then our period is ourreport card, our period if it
(10:51):
has a lot of clots, if it'ssuper heavy in pain, if we have
a lot of breast tenderness, ifwe have a lot of cravings, if we
have intense mood swings.
Each of those pieces of datalets us know something
internally that is needingadditional support.
But women were never taught todecode their own internal system
to even know what these thingsare trying to tell them in the
first place.
SPEAKER_02 (11:10):
Yeah, I feel like we have to start from the beginning
with like what menopause is, howit actually works before we even
break down the agenda.
Do you think that's importantbefore even understanding how
your hormones change, or do mostpeople understand how your
period works?
SPEAKER_03 (11:26):
I would say most people don't understand how your
period works.
So let's let's jump in there.
So we actually have four phasesof the cycle, and this is from
the Red School in the UK, but Ilove their way to talk about it.
So a lot of women I talk withdon't even know this.
So your period starts the dayone of bleeding.
That's day one of your newcycle.
And so a cycle goes from day oneof your period all the way to
(11:47):
day one of your next period, andyou count all the days in
between, right?
And so this gets real countingof days gets really important in
perimenopause because they saythe average menstrual cycle
lasts typically can be healthyfor about 25 to 35 days, is a
pretty healthy range.
And what you want to know foryourself specifically, what is
your average day?
(12:07):
So if you normally have yourperiod on day 27, but it comes
two days earlier, so day 25, ortwo days later on day 29, that's
still within a clinical range ofnormal.
So if it's kind of that five-daywindow, so like the day you
expect it and a couple days oneither side.
But when it starts getting threedays early or five days late,
you're like, oh, something'sshifting.
(12:28):
There's something shifting.
That is like another clue to mybody.
So we get start over here on dayone of your period, and this is
your inner winter time.
So think about what you need inToronto in the winter.
You might need some warming,some hearty, some hibernation,
right?
You may want to like wrapyourself up.
Spiritually, this is they a lotof indigenous cultures have
talked about this as the pointof heightened intuition for
(12:50):
women and even indigenouscultures, like in Hawaii, they
made sweat lodges and templesfor men to go into to try to
emulate what we could do on ourmenstrual cycle.
They recognize that our body isthe temple because on your
period, there's that openingkind of the portal between life
and death.
So that happens on your period.
And so you want to think of howdo you support yourself there?
(13:11):
Your hormones are at theirlowest point and then they start
to come up.
The next phase is the follicularphase.
So this is our inner springtime.
So this is when we get thatenergy, you start to feel that
energy rushing back into yourbody.
That's because estrogen iskicking up.
Then we have our ovulation time,which is our inner summer time.
So this is hot, sexy, potent.
Good time to ask for a raise,good time to ask your husband
(13:33):
for something expensive.
It's harder to say no to youduring this time, good time to
do your photo shoots.
If you can, I love doing brandedphoto shoots during this time or
anything because I'm just gonnabe feeling myself, and that is
the time you want to be in frontof the camera.
And then the luteal phase is theanalyzing and organizing.
So this is our inner autumntime.
So think of the harvesting time,right?
(13:54):
Like you've gone through thiswhole creative process, and now
is time to pick the fruit andmake things organized again.
So that's what we should beexperiencing more or less on a
monthly basis, starting frommonarchy, which is our first
period, which tends to happenbetween 10 to 12, all the way
through when we start to hitperimenopause.
(14:15):
And so again, that's at time.
A lot of people think about itas menopause, but menopause is
just a one-day event.
Menopause is a day when youhaven't had a period for an
entire calendar year.
You have like a one-daycelebration, you're like, hey,
this is my menopause day.
And then the next day, you'renow post-menopausal.
And everything that happens inbetween your normal kind of
(14:35):
predictable cyclical pattern andthat one day of menopause is
called perimenopause.
And so sometimes people havetheir cycles get way shorter
together, and then sometimesthey get way longer apart from
each other, and it can just bewonky.
And there's over 150 knownsymptoms directly connected to
the hormonal changes inperimenopause.
(14:56):
And over 50% of the changes thathappen happen in the brain, not
even in the sex hormones and sexorgans.
SPEAKER_02 (15:02):
So when you say they happen in the brain, meaning
what?
Like you're talking about likesymptoms like brain fog or like
depression, like a there's a lotof symptoms that come with
perimenopausing.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03 (15:14):
Anxiety.
Well, also, like that if we lookat what those main hormones do,
estrogen really supports thebrain.
It can support the brain inlong-term memory formation, it
can support the brain inserotonin and dopamine uptake
and regulation.
And so we can feel a lot happierwhen we have estrogen.
So if all those feel-goodhormones start to tank out, we
(15:34):
can have a lot of those mentalimpacts pop up as a result of
that.
SPEAKER_00 (15:37):
Diva tonight, glamour for your ears.
This is 40, a femaleperspective.
SPEAKER_02 (15:44):
With your experience with monitoring this, what have
you noticed?
Do women have like in their 40s,especially?
Like from what I've read withyour breakdown of the cycle,
it's like, what do you thinkwomen struggle with the most in
their 40s with time and energy?
SPEAKER_03 (16:01):
I think that women don't recognize the gravity to
which they're impacted by theirmenstrual cycle.
And so they just feel likethey're going crazy when they're
in their 40s.
They feel like they're like, mybody isn't my own anymore.
I wanted to lose weight and Ican't lose weight.
I can't remember anything.
My kids are driving me crazy.
My husband's got to go becauselike they're now showing 70% of
(16:24):
divorce initiated by womenhappens during perimenopause.
Because what's really going onwhen we there's another way to
kind of look at the hormonesfrom your period through
ovulation, we have our bodywants to get pregnant.
So we have very pro-self,pro-social hormones.
Like we're we say yes toeverybody, we're much more
jovial, we're like taking thekids to the park, we're like
kissing our husband on thecheek, right?
(16:45):
Like we're very excited.
And then from your afterovulation through the next
period starting, you havepro-self hormones because your
body's trying to protect apotential pregnancy.
So as we go through periodmenopause, we have less, we have
more time in between periods.
So we have more time in thepro-self orientation of our
hormonal pattern.
Meaning if things are notworking for us, like that man,
(17:08):
that job, whatever thearrangement is, we were will, we
were more prone to remove thingsthat are no longer working for
us because of what our brain isdoing and how it interacts with
these hormones.
SPEAKER_02 (17:21):
Wow.
And do you think that's like asolution though?
I think I mean, like there'sbeen the whole movement now with
this is 40, you know, andthere's the whole craze.
Um, I think they're there, likeit's it's kind of like a
takeover right now.
But do you feel like we'reacting more on emotional
suffering versus like mental,meaning like when you're of
(17:42):
sound mind and body, like wheneverything is good, you make
better decisions.
But if you're just basing it offof the emotional side of things,
like your hormones being out ofwhy brain fog, everything like
that, like that you'rementioning.
SPEAKER_03 (17:56):
I think it's a yes and especially for this
generation that's currently kindof kicking off the menopause
divorce movement, because Ithink that men and women in
these partnerships have notunderstood each other for a very
long time.
And because of that, and the waythat women are socialized and
and we know globally are doing65 to 75% of unpaid labor in the
(18:17):
household.
I think we're we're reaching aboiling point in history where
women are like, yo, I alsocontribute and have a paycheck.
Like, what do you mean you wantme to do everything at home?
Like what?
Like if both parties are havinga full-time job, women should
not be doing 65 to 75% of theunpaid labor in their households
because that should also be interms of a partnership.
(18:38):
And so I believe that women arecoming into clarity right now,
but that divorcing everyone isnot really the solution.
The solution is men and womenunderstanding and then
renegotiating a more equitablesplit of labor at home.
But I think where it gets trickyfor both men and for women,
because of that, like I wasexplaining, pro-social,
(18:58):
pro-self-orientation that doeshappen biologically.
Sometimes it's easy for a womanthe first half of the month to
run around and clean up aftereverybody and not feel bad about
it, right?
It's easy for that part ofourselves to be like, okay, no
big deal.
Then the resentment buildsduring the second half.
And so women have got to also behonest, which takes them
(19:19):
understanding what's going on.
If women can't explain it tothemselves, how can they explain
it to their husband?
SPEAKER_02 (19:24):
No, that's that's another thing.
It's kind of feels like it'sit's a little bit of this, a
little bit of that.
And I have to say that it ishard when people don't
understand.
Because for me, like I, yeah,I'm 41 and I I my symptoms are
related to something else.
It's not perimenopause.
I went to my doctor and like thesame symptoms I have, which are
(19:45):
related to perimenopause, haveto do with the fact that I have
fibroids, which, you know, isanother common thing that a lot
of women deal with, but thesymptoms are similar to
perimenopause, like the brainfog and like hormone changes and
like as they say, all the thingsthat come with it.
And so, like, I asked my doctor,I'm like, is it is it
(20:07):
perimenopause?
And she's like, No, it's thoseare related to fibroid.
And so it is challenging.
Even when you are, you know, youget a doctor's note from work
and you explain the situationwhen you don't have people who
understand it, it just makes itso much harder, right?
SPEAKER_03 (20:23):
So, yeah, it's it's almost impossible.
It's like we don't, we all kindof are tiptoeing around the fact
that we know something is goingon, that like women are not the
same all the time, but becausewe can't have a real
conversation about it, everyonejust feels a little
uncomfortable slash left out inthe dark, I think.
SPEAKER_02 (20:39):
Yeah, yeah, but so I mean, that aside, how does the
agenda help us avoid thatconstant feeling of being
stretched thin?
You know what I mean?
Like obviously tracking how youare, I guess, is the starting
point to helping yourself,right?
SPEAKER_03 (20:54):
Yeah.
So what we have both in theplanner and on the app is what,
so when I first saw the the ideain my own data, saw see seeing
myself making more money atdifferent times, I didn't know
how I wanted to deliver thatinformation to people.
So I was actually in ameditation and this idea came
into, it was like my big magicmoment from Elizabeth Gilbert.
Like this idea, I felt it likecome into my brain and it was
(21:16):
like a planner for your period,plan with your period.
And I was like, what?
And I thought it was like aninstruction to go buy the
object, like go buy the journal.
And I looked everywhere onlineand I could not find it.
And so I got scared.
And then I finally startedworking on it in 2019, and we
did a beta test with a hundredwomen in business, and so we had
them go through their month.
We had like an like atheoretical orientation where
(21:39):
like we recommend this stuff atthese different times, and then
they a hundred different peoplegave us feedback, and that
created the content for like abunch of different types of
women and different ages andkind of getting to the root at
what activities felt easier todo in each phase.
So in the planner, we actuallyshow you how to do that, and in
our free app, we actually showpeople like we give
(21:59):
recommendations on what businessactivities you should work on or
what self-care activities youshould be working on for
whatever phase that you're in.
And so that is really how we wework with people.
We let them know, hey, you'rejust different hormonally right
now.
So letting them know what isyour benefit because we're so
used to talking about thesedifferent women say all the
time, I got one good week amonth.
(22:19):
That's it.
All the rest of the week suck.
I'll all I get is one good week.
And so what we really try toshow our users is that every
single phase has different giftsand different skill sets.
And the reason you feel out ofwhack is because you're not
aligning them together.
So when you start connecting thepieces and put them in the right
order, it's a lot easier to getyour work done.
You actually get more done whilehaving less effort put in.
SPEAKER_02 (22:42):
And what does that look like though?
Like if you're saying like tothat woman that was like, I only
have one good work, one goodweek a month, and the rest suck,
right?
SPEAKER_03 (22:52):
Yeah.
When we start to have peopletrack, they can then identify
this the patterns.
Because I think a lot of people,if they're having an experience
in their period, then thatdoesn't come up for a whole
nother month.
So then it's hard to rememberthat it's actually something
that's cyclical, that there is aa pattern and an orientation to
(23:12):
it.
Once you find out what thepattern is, aka the symptom or
the problem or the issue thatyou're having, then you can
apply there's so much reallygood literature on how to reduce
cramps, on what vitamins youneed to reduce menstrual
migraines, on hormonal acne.
And you need to know whatsymptoms you're actually
(23:33):
experiencing in order to knowwhat you need to adjust.
And because the events happenjust far enough from each other
in time, people don't connectthe dots like, oh, this is
something that happens to meevery month.
They just think, oh, it justkind of sucks to be me.
So tracking illuminatesself-self-awareness and that
self-understanding.
And once we understand and havepinpointed the problem, then we
(23:53):
can actually address it withsymptomatic relief.
SPEAKER_02 (23:56):
Yeah, that's that's the thing, you know, finding the
solution to the problem.
Like, you know, there are thingslike vitamin D, vitamin D from
what I've learned, and vitaminE, and implementing all that
into your daily routine.
So I think that that is often achallenge too, right?
So, but when it comes to cycles,so you talk about cycles and
(24:17):
like can you break down forwomen who may feel disconnected
from their own rhythms?
Like, how do I figure this out?
SPEAKER_03 (24:26):
Like, like today I feel like you have like if you
have no idea where you're at, oryeah, just tell me more.
Yeah, yeah.
So something that we talk aboutin the app and that we have in
our planner is working with themoon phases.
So if women feel reallydisconnected or their cycles
irregular, maybe they don'tknow, they don't know where
they're at, they're inperimenopause, they're pregnant,
they're postmenopausal,whatever.
The only thing on the planetthat is that 28-day-ish routine
(24:50):
is the moon.
And there's a lot of theoriesthat before there was
non-natural light that women allwere syncing up with the moon.
So, kind of the idea that aroundthe new moon, that is your
bleed.
So when the moon is low in thesky, that's our lowest energy
point.
And then as we move towards thefull moon, that's like our
ovulation time.
And so if you don't have yourown cycle, you can definitely
(25:13):
tap in and create a ritual, likea feminine ritual for yourself
with the moon.
And that's been really, reallypowerful for a lot of our users.
SPEAKER_02 (25:23):
Yeah.
So I mean, you said there's thethere's there's, I mean, I
looked it up, like there's thefree app, and then obviously the
paid app with if someone islistening today and they're
like, well, you know what, thissounds like a good idea.
Maybe I should try it.
So what's the one small shiftthat you could start with right
away?
SPEAKER_03 (25:41):
Daily cycle check-in.
So it's we have we have we dohave it in the app, but no
matter even if you just have iton a journal, is taking five
minutes a day to write aboutyour feelings, to write about
your mood, to write about yourenergy, and then keeping it all
in the same place.
That is what allows you to seepatterns over time, is where you
have something all put togetherfor yourself because then you
can start to notice.
Oh, I get really mad on day 24.
(26:02):
Like, what's going on over here?
That's a thing, right?
So, whatever the case may be,you need to have a place where
you can illuminate for yourselfand give yourself your own
loving attention.
Women are, I love women, I'veworked with women my whole
career, and we are all almostalways last on our own list of
who needs to get taken care ofand how we prioritize our time.
And that is definitely somethingthat women can hold each other
(26:25):
accountable for because thatleads to a lot of the resentment
that causes divorce andperimenopause.
Because we're not speaking upfor ourselves.
We've got to put our own oxygenmask on first before we can take
care of anyone else in our life.
SPEAKER_02 (26:35):
Yeah.
You know, I can I can relate tothat because I feel like like
the whole brain fog thing, likeI'm no, like I, like you said, I
wasn't paying attention to it,but it's like the second, the
second time it's happening, thesecond month in a row it's
happening where I'm like, but Iknow how to do this.
Why am I making so manymistakes?
And it's like my coworker wouldjoke over me and be like, Hey,
(26:56):
did you just start?
You know, I know he's justjoking, but it's it's
interesting when you're startingto monitor, and I'm like, well,
I need to check into thisbecause something's not right.
You know what I mean?
Like trying to figure out whatthe solution is to the brain fog
and the forgetfulness.
And you know, I already haveother things that I have
(27:16):
struggles with.
So, like you said, the mentalhealth and your diet and
everything, what's it called,come into play with it, right?
SPEAKER_03 (27:24):
So yes.
I'm looking, I'm I'm taking somenotes really quick to see.
Like, I'm I'm off the top of myhead.
Okay, so here's why brain foghappens in perimenopause.
So the estrogen can start todecline, which disturbs sleep.
And then we've got the stressand cortisol imbalance, right?
And then they're all kind oflayered together the blood sugar
(27:45):
instability and a nutrientdepletion.
And so we're looking at all ofthese pieces together, and that
that's why when we talk aboutit, when we talk about health
and overall like hormonalhealth, we we're just launching
a program right now.
For women, it really has to beabout the the food that we're
eating, like what are we puttingin and out, how we're moving,
because it's not just about whatour body looks like, but
(28:05):
actually our movement is one ofour biggest brain support tools
that we have.
And then the relationships thatwe have, whether that's at work,
whether that's with kiddos,whether that's with a
partnership, because all ofthose interactions, because
again, remember, we're sooriented, either pro-self,
pro-social, or pro-self, all ofthose things are really gonna
impact.
And so for women, when we'relooking at longevity and health,
(28:25):
it's not just about getting tothe gym, it's about how all of
these complex factors linktogether and are put over our
menstrual cycle because we needdifferent things in the four
phases as well.
SPEAKER_02 (28:37):
Yeah.
No, I looked into it.
And so, like for me, it's like Iguess, I guess when you're when
there's something wrong, and I'mlike, you're what's how do I say
this too to explain myselfbetter?
Is that when I when I got reallysick and then I I had that
wake-up call, it's like yousaid, when you were meditating,
it's like you have that call andyou're like, I need to get back
(28:57):
on track with my health andeverything, right?
When you figure out what'swrong, because they did all the
tests, and then you know, now Iknow like what I'm doing, but
it's really, it really suckswhen you're always playing
ketchup.
So I'm anemic too, right?
And so it's just like one of thethings that I've learned from
talking to other women likeyourself is that what I have is
(29:17):
it could be a progesteronedeficiency, and so that's
affecting everything across theboard.
So it's like the battle, youknow what I mean?
Um, with brain fog, you know,memory loss and that thing.
But I think it's amazing thatyou created this helpful tool
for other women, and I hope thatwith this conversation, other
women will look into it and seeif they can start monitoring
(29:42):
their monthly cycles so that itcan start the I guess the
progress.
Because I mean, knowing is halfthe battle, but like
implementing it and doing itthat's another thing, too, like
starting a new habit, right?
And so the one thing I want toask you if you could give one
piece of advice to women if.
In their 40s, about creatingmore balance and intention.
(30:03):
Like what would it be?
SPEAKER_03 (30:05):
And say your body during this time is it's doing
all of those things to bring youback to yourself.
And so making sure you have yourown creative outlets, making
sure that you are living a lifethat you don't want to run away
from.
I think that's super duperimportant to create a joyful,
luscious life in our 40s.
And and our bodies aredefinitely giving us those
opportunities of here's here'sthe time and the attention to do
(30:28):
that now.
So do it with intention becausethen you won't feel so whipped
all over the place by your ownlife.
If you're really kind of sittingwith this this midlife stage
with intention, you'll setyourself up really well for a
very full and happy second,second phase of life.
SPEAKER_02 (30:42):
Yeah, second phase.
I mean, it it it it has its prosand cons.
I think this is like the leadup, but there's also like more
pain.
I I really is, you know.
Oh my gosh.
I mean, wait, you were talking,I I mean, I didn't ask you about
this.
One more thing I want to say, uhask you is like you were talking
about how you're dealing withperimenopause.
(31:05):
So how did you know that that'sexactly what you're dealing with
and it's not anything else?
SPEAKER_03 (31:10):
Well, I've been tracking my cycle professionally
for for six years, and like Ireally, you know, I really know
the ins and outs of my menstrualcycle, and I've been in periods
of very high stress before andvery low stress, and I am a
fertile myrtle.
So I ovulate and I like it'slike clock, you should set the
world clock by my ovulationschedule until the last two
(31:32):
months.
So I and I'm a twin mom.
I had a spontaneous twinpregnancy in 2020.
And in my two cycles ago, Idropped two eggs five days
apart.
So I had the cervical, thefertile quality cervical mucus.
I dropped an egg, and then Ikind of like crashed out because
I had like extreme ovulationpain on my left side, and then
like, but like the the mucuscame down, and then three or
(31:54):
four days later, I startedgetting more of the cervical
mucus again, and then I had acouple days later extreme
ovulation pain on the rightside, and then my period came
five days late.
And so, like, I know that Idropped it, like I had all of
the signs, all of thebiomarkers, all of the tracking.
And so that's why there isn'tactually a one test that is
definitive about perimenopause,and it's more we need to start
(32:16):
understanding it is these subtleshifts that is just showing our
our period is starting, it'sgoing away from its regular
pattern and it is shiftingtowards.
Like, I'm not at the end, I'mobviously still young.
I'm not like gonna get menopausetomorrow.
But if we looked kind of like atthe peak, I'm now coming back
down the other side of that.
And that is a disservice, Ithink, that the medical
(32:37):
community right now it keepstelling women they're definitely
not in menopause orperimenopause when we know that
these changes are tied to ourhormonal production.
And so it just leaves more womenfeeling crazy if they're like,
wait, no, like I think I amactually going through this
thing.
And doctors, like, no, you'retoo young for that.
Like, no, we're now showingpretty, pretty consistently that
it can start in your mid-30s.
SPEAKER_02 (32:58):
Yeah, you know, it's one of the things that is just
like there's signs and thenthere's symptoms, obviously.
But I think the one thing islike telling your doctor those
symptoms that you're having,like just advocating for
yourself.
I've been an advocate for myselfsince 2020, and I think that
that's the only thing you cando.
You're the only person who cantalk for yourself, and like the
(33:21):
doctor will give you theinformation based on what you're
telling them, and and that's thething, right?
And so, but yeah, you said yourmom of twins, I can hear that
right?
Yes, twin mom.
Oh, very interesting.
Wow, how is that going, mommydearest?
Twins.
SPEAKER_03 (33:39):
Double the fun.
Oh my god, double the fun.
I mean, it's fun now, like whenthings like that.
SPEAKER_02 (33:45):
You have all this energy.
SPEAKER_03 (33:46):
Are you being a mom is not easy when you're in the
luteal phase because kids liketheir voices are so annoying in
the luteal?
Like when you have low estrogen,like a screech from a child
feels like nails on achalkboard.
I'm like, I can't, yeah, right.
Exactly.
Yeah, so um twin now thatthey're they're gonna be five in
November, it's pretty fun.
(34:07):
So but the baby state that firstyear, I wouldn't wish that on my
worst enemy.
Sleep, who is it?
SPEAKER_02 (34:12):
Didn't know her, like wow, it was crazy.
My goodness, I just learnedsomething very new.
I I didn't I didn't know that.
Oh my gosh, twins.
I have one friend with twins,and like, yeah, that is
definitely a game changer.
Chaos, yes, chaos, chaos, chaos,wow, but you're doing it, you're
doing you're doing it, you'rehere, and yeah, and you're
(34:34):
helping you're helping uh womenone step at a time.
And and so what is your missionin this next phase?
I guess what we call it, wecould call the next phase,
right?
You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (34:45):
Our mission is just continuing to make sure that
people have as much access tothis health information in this
body literacy because I thinkit's a human right to understand
how your body works.
I think that that feels like apretty honestly low bar for what
we should make sure every humanhas access to.
And so we're really dedicated toensuring we can create whatever
creative tools and resources aregoing to meet people where
(35:06):
they're at.
SPEAKER_02 (35:07):
Yeah.
No, it's it's it's it's amazingthat you created something like
this and like you know, justmonitoring.
They always say to monitor yourperiod, like you know what I
mean.
But I I don't think we werepaying attention in class in
school when you know, like youwere talking about those things.
SPEAKER_03 (35:24):
I wasn't, I surely was not I was not paying
attention.
And my 10-year-old self wouldhave been like, What do you mean
you created a period company?
That's so cringy.
Like, what's wrong with you?
My 10-year-old self mortifiedright now.
Like, just like this isembarrassing.
SPEAKER_02 (35:41):
You know what, even now, like this is the one thing,
like, you know, when you go tothe store and you buy pads, like
it's still a thing of like whatsee, that's the thing.
It's it's it's like put it in abag, hide it.
Like, we we just you know, andlike even when I had it the
other day at the store, I'mlike, are they looking at the
package?
Like, is that what they'relooking at?
SPEAKER_03 (36:03):
And if women like globally, because this is
something that connects us nomatter like our socioeconomic
status or like where we live inthe world, if one were like, hey
guys, we've been really unchillabout this, and so now we're
just gonna demand period leave.
Oh, and you can't replace us.
We make over half of the uhglobal workforce.
So people would have no choicebut to get involved.
Women, we just need to like havea giant global period party, and
(36:24):
we'll like just like we'll likeeveryone get over it and like
we're just gonna talk aboutperiods now.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (36:30):
Alex, we're gonna start the movement.
I'm waiting on you.
Starting the movement.
Are you?
Yes.
Let's see, let's go, let's go.
Let's see.
I will help you here in Canada.
Let's do it.
You know, so I want to thank youso much for sharing your story
and your wisdom with what you'velearned.
Like, it's amazing.
So, how can my listener findyou?
(36:51):
Where are you?
You're online, right?
SPEAKER_03 (36:53):
Theagendaperiod.com.
Everywhere on TikTok, I makelike lots of spicy content over
there and Instagram.
So come hang out with us onsocials and um, yeah, check out
our website.
That's that'll give you the linkto the products we've created
and all of the different coolresources that we have.
So definitely check outtheagendaperiod.com.
SPEAKER_02 (37:10):
Theagendaperiod.com with Alex Cobafrakes.
Thank you so much.
All the way in Iowa, right?
Yes, Alex.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
For sure, I'm Carlene, and thisis Diva Tonight.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00 (37:26):
Diva Tonight with Carlene will be back.
Send us a message on Instagramat Diva underscore tonight.
Hi, I'm Carlene, and this is Diva.
Tonight on this series of Thisis 40.
We talk about love,relationships, and the
challenges that women face intheir lives.
A lot of my guests are women,female entrepreneurs, and I'm
excited.
I have with me Alex KobleFriggs.
(00:23):
She is the creator of theagenda, and she is helping other
women organize their lives basedon their cycles.
You know, I I just have to say,this is so interesting what
you've created, and you know,it's great.
So how are you?
SPEAKER_03 (00:41):
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm good.
I am my period is supposed toarrive at any time, but I am in
perimenopause, the early, likethe months.
I'm like in like month three ofperimenopause.
And so it's already, she's notcoming when she's supposed to be
coming.
So who knows?
It could be today, it could bein a week because it's it's all
getting a little shifty overhere at um the agenda period
(01:01):
headquarters.
SPEAKER_02 (01:02):
So yeah.
Oh my goodness, you are so openand honest.
So yeah, I'm I'm on my period.
I don't normally, you know, saythat, but since you're sharing,
we're sharing.
SPEAKER_03 (01:13):
We share.
We there TMI for our team setstands for tell me immediately,
right?
Like there's nothing, there'snothing too much for the agenda
period team.
We're like, people message usabout their discharge, and I'm
like, cool, thank you for thatvisual that now lives in my head
forever.
SPEAKER_02 (01:29):
Yeah, I don't know if I would give you my rap
sheet, but uh let me just sayit's been a rough cycle, but
this is not about me, it's moreabout you and and what you've
done with this app.
So it's an app, you have theagenda and also the journal.
And so what brought on thisidea?
(01:50):
Why did you start the agenda?
SPEAKER_03 (01:52):
It's a crazy story.
So I have a business degree, soI went to a small business
school and a private businessschool in Iowa, and then I was a
Peace Corps volunteer.
So I lived in Peru for twoyears.
I kind of traveled around, did alot of work with different
nonprofits.
I came, I came home and Icouldn't find a job that I
really liked because again, Iwanted apparently to be the boss
of something because I just keptgetting advice with my
(02:14):
supervisors.
I was like, you guys are boring,lack innovation, creativity.
Let me go do something formyself.
Because I was actually the onlything they all had in common.
So, like, I'm a total pain inthe butt for all of my past, my
past employers because I justwanted to bring the creative
spark.
So I started a health andwellness coaching company in
2018 because I had been workingfor other health companies as a
side gig since 2015.
(02:36):
And I felt like full into theworld of coaching and health and
hormonal health.
And I had read a lot abouthormonal health in college, and
I hadn't really done much withit.
So I started tracking my saleswhen I started my health
coaching company, and I foundthat I had higher sales during
the ovulation phase than anyother phase of the cycle.
And I was like, what ishappening?
This is not something we learnedabout in business school.
(02:58):
So I did some research to see ifthere was anything else on out
there in the market or anythingtalking about this topic.
And I found a study of exoticdancers, and they split them
into women who are on birthcontrol and not on birth
control.
And the women who were not onbirth control all made more
money in tips during ovulation,up to 30% more than any other
time in their their month.
And all of the women who are onhormonal birth control saw no
(03:21):
variation in their tipsthroughout the month.
So it was this crazy, crazystudy to me showing like some of
the we're now the science isstarting to get clear that women
need to exercise differently andeat differently to support their
phases, right?
Cycle sinking, it's becomingreally popular.
And yet, still to this day,there aren't many people talking
about it six years later aboutthe world of work because it
(03:43):
really impacts our mood when wehave high levels of estrogen
versus high levels ofprogesterone.
That impacts our social skills,it impacts our speech patterns,
it impacts how we understand andlike even our sense of humor.
Like if we think something'sfunny versus when we don't think
it's funny.
Like you could tell me the samejoke every day, and in the
Ludial phase, you might getsmacked if you tell me that same
(04:04):
joke again because I'd be like,You're gonna talk to me like
that today?
What?
I don't think so.
Read read the agenda.
That is not that is notapproved.
That's not approved content fortoday, right?
Like we know that women are fourdifferent people, and yet we
can't really talk about it.
We know this because, but womencan't talk about it because then
they get made fun of.
(04:24):
You said at the beginning ofthis podcast you didn't even
want to say you're on yourperiod, because that'd be weird,
right?
Like we we grow up knowing thatall of these things are that are
kind of deeply identified withus being women are just going to
be bad experiences.
We learn that our periods suck,we learn that it's gonna be
terrible to be pregnant, thatpostpartum is gonna be a real
kick in the shorts, and then, ohlook, now you get to work your
(04:46):
way through menopause.
Good luck being a woman sucks.
And I just don't think it'ssupposed to be that way.
And as the world has evolved andmodernized, we've lost a lot of
the ancient wisdom and the stuffthat was passed down from
generation to generation abouthow to live within these systems
in a way that feels really goodfor our health because our body
evolved on purpose to have amenstrual cycle.
(05:08):
We're one of five species on theplanet that has a period and one
of five species on the planetthat goes through menopause.
Women, we are designed like thisover for whatever reason, our
ancestors and our geneticsdecided this was the best way to
do it.
And so, where women in themodern world get choked up is
living anathetically to the waytheir body wants to work and the
way their body does work.
(05:29):
We are not little men.
So that's kind of the windingway with how we got here.
Just like wanting to help somepeople out, and it's just been
kind of falling down the rabbithole ever since.
SPEAKER_02 (05:40):
So you said a lot about you know your journey to
here and now and just theproduct itself and how women's
anatomy works and and justmenopause, perimenopause, and
even our hormone null changes.
But I want to ask you was littleAlex like, you know, the
troublemaker in class?
Was she like, you know?
SPEAKER_03 (06:01):
I was a total nerd.
I was a 100% nerd in the bestway.
And I got my earliest, thereweren't like entrepreneurs
directly in my family, butwhat's interesting is my
great-grandpa ran some bakeriesapparently on the East Coast,
like Pennsylvania, went toWharton's School of Business,
but that was way before, waybefore I was born.
So a lot of my like my both onmy mom's and dad's side, there's
(06:23):
a lot of farming, like peoplewho did farming, which in a way
is its own small business, orright?
Like having your own kind ofplot of land and and selling
things into the market.
And then a lot of education.
So my mom's a teacher, mygrandma's a teacher, my
grandpa's a teacher.
So this weird intersection,actually, kind of between
business and education.
And I was a Girl Scout.
So I don't know if you guys havethat in Toronto, but sold cook
(06:44):
hopped cookies on the streetcorner with my first
entrepreneurial gig.
So shout out, hashtag the GirlGirl Scouts on this episode,
teaching young girls aboutentrepreneurship through boxes,
cardboard boxes of cookies.
So that was my good, Alex.
SPEAKER_01 (06:59):
They were good, you know.
You know what?
You're always like, I shouldn'tbe eating any cookies, but what?
SPEAKER_03 (07:07):
But their flavors are oh, but give me a give me a
pack of thin mints that's beensat in a freezer for a month,
and I'm just we'll go to town onthe whole box.
SPEAKER_02 (07:16):
Oh my gosh, this is so great.
I love it.
Um, yeah, you're changing thenarrative in a good way because
I think it's like yourbackground and who you are as a
person has gotten you to thispoint in life, and it's amazing,
right?
Because, like you said, it's thethe conversation that people
don't want to have at work, andit's really hard.
(07:36):
Like as a as a woman, I feellike a lot of women don't talk
about it's like it's like theelephant in the room.
Like, you know, like if you haveto miss work because you're on
your period or you're having allthese symptoms, and like they're
even though you can get thoseaccommodations, it's still not
easy.
Like, I mean, they just changedit now.
We're still a long way fromunderstanding it in the
(07:59):
workplace, I feel.
SPEAKER_03 (08:01):
We're so far.
We're we're so, so, so far awayfrom that because yeah, like
it's something like 80% of womenlose work or have presentedism
or absenteeism from work duringperimenopause because of
symptomatic, a lack ofsymptomatic support.
And even a lack of understandingthat these things are tied to
perimenopause.
We're still so far from womenunderstanding that because they
(08:21):
don't even understand everythingthat's going on with their
normal menstrual cycle.
So that's it's hard to see thechanges when they start to
happen, right?
And and even the medicalcommunity is starting to catch
up, but now the most recentstudies are showing, like, yeah,
it's pretty common for women'shormones to start changing when
they're around 34 or 35.
And that doesn't mean you'regoing into menopause, it just
(08:42):
means you're doing, I've beenhearing it called cougar
puberty.
So it's like puberty in reverse,and then you're just like
getting like hot because you'rejust caring about your own stuff
now.
You're not caring about everyoneelse as much.
So a little cougar puberty, andI I love that.
But people need to wake upbecause if 80% of people are
missing work because of this,women are dropping out of the
(09:03):
workforce during perimenopausewhen they can't get that
symptomatic relief.
And 70% of divorces initiated bywomen are anticipated to happen
during perimenopause.
So this is a global problem thateverybody needs to be paying
attention to that we still can'thave the conversation about.
So yeah, we've got a long way togo on that one.
SPEAKER_02 (09:20):
So since we're talking about that, what do you
feel would be a solution, likethe starting point?
SPEAKER_03 (09:25):
I think federally mandated period leave would be
amazing.
I mean, we don't even havematernity leave in the United
States.
So again, I think that is kindof like the first frontier to be
protected, is there's not like agood federal program with a
minimum amount of days like youguys have in Canada.
So the US is pretty far behindon that.
But period leave, we have to getover because like the pushback
(09:46):
that we always hear is that,well, it's not fair then.
But we're we're not looking ateveryone getting the same thing,
we're looking at everyonegetting what they need.
So just because your workplacepolicy offers you eye insurance,
it doesn't mean everyone gets apair of glasses, right?
Because not everyone needs apair of glasses, but they still
offer it to people.
And so I think that this kind ofleave should be the same way.
I think it should be over andabove typical sickness.
(10:08):
And then beyond that, like kindof looking at that's free period
leave is kind of what I calllike the bottom of the stream
problem, right?
Like people keep falling instream and we keep fishing them
out of the river.
Like, hey, that would be kind ofa good band-aid solution for
people having extreme periodpain.
We really need to trace up theriver and find out why everyone
keeps having period pain,because period pain is not
(10:29):
actually normal.
Our menstrual cycle is a, it'ssuper duper common.
Most women on the planet areprobably experiencing high
levels of pain, but that's notactually how our body is
supposed to deal with thisevent.
Menstruation should not beextremely, extremely, extremely
painful.
The issue is that there are notenough women getting that
hormonal health support.
And then our period is ourreport card, our period if it
(10:51):
has a lot of clots, if it'ssuper heavy in pain, if we have
a lot of breast tenderness, ifwe have a lot of cravings, if we
have intense mood swings.
Each of those pieces of datalets us know something
internally that is needingadditional support.
But women were never taught todecode their own internal system
to even know what these thingsare trying to tell them in the
first place.
SPEAKER_02 (11:10):
Yeah, I feel like we have to start from the beginning
with like what menopause is, howit actually works before we even
break down the agenda.
Do you think that's importantbefore even understanding how
your hormones change, or do mostpeople understand how your
period works?
SPEAKER_03 (11:26):
I would say most people don't understand how your
period works.
So let's let's jump in there.
So we actually have four phasesof the cycle, and this is from
the Red School in the UK, but Ilove their way to talk about it.
So a lot of women I talk withdon't even know this.
So your period starts the dayone of bleeding.
That's day one of your newcycle.
And so a cycle goes from day oneof your period all the way to
(11:47):
day one of your next period, andyou count all the days in
between, right?
And so this gets real countingof days gets really important in
perimenopause because they saythe average menstrual cycle
lasts typically can be healthyfor about 25 to 35 days, is a
pretty healthy range.
And what you want to know foryourself specifically, what is
your average day?
(12:07):
So if you normally have yourperiod on day 27, but it comes
two days earlier, so day 25, ortwo days later on day 29, that's
still within a clinical range ofnormal.
So if it's kind of that five-daywindow, so like the day you
expect it and a couple days oneither side.
But when it starts getting threedays early or five days late,
you're like, oh, something'sshifting.
(12:28):
There's something shifting.
That is like another clue to mybody.
So we get start over here on dayone of your period, and this is
your inner winter time.
So think about what you need inToronto in the winter.
You might need some warming,some hearty, some hibernation,
right?
You may want to like wrapyourself up.
Spiritually, this is they a lotof indigenous cultures have
talked about this as the pointof heightened intuition for
(12:50):
women and even indigenouscultures, like in Hawaii, they
made sweat lodges and templesfor men to go into to try to
emulate what we could do on ourmenstrual cycle.
They recognize that our body isthe temple because on your
period, there's that openingkind of the portal between life
and death.
So that happens on your period.
And so you want to think of howdo you support yourself there?
(13:11):
Your hormones are at theirlowest point and then they start
to come up.
The next phase is the follicularphase.
So this is our inner springtime.
So this is when we get thatenergy, you start to feel that
energy rushing back into yourbody.
That's because estrogen iskicking up.
Then we have our ovulation time,which is our inner summer time.
So this is hot, sexy, potent.
Good time to ask for a raise,good time to ask your husband
(13:33):
for something expensive.
It's harder to say no to youduring this time, good time to
do your photo shoots.
If you can, I love doing brandedphoto shoots during this time or
anything because I'm just gonnabe feeling myself, and that is
the time you want to be in frontof the camera.
And then the luteal phase is theanalyzing and organizing.
So this is our inner autumntime.
So think of the harvesting time,right?
(13:54):
Like you've gone through thiswhole creative process, and now
is time to pick the fruit andmake things organized again.
So that's what we should beexperiencing more or less on a
monthly basis, starting frommonarchy, which is our first
period, which tends to happenbetween 10 to 12, all the way
through when we start to hitperimenopause.
(14:15):
And so again, that's at time.
A lot of people think about itas menopause, but menopause is
just a one-day event.
Menopause is a day when youhaven't had a period for an
entire calendar year.
You have like a one-daycelebration, you're like, hey,
this is my menopause day.
And then the next day, you'renow post-menopausal.
And everything that happens inbetween your normal kind of
(14:35):
predictable cyclical pattern andthat one day of menopause is
called perimenopause.
And so sometimes people havetheir cycles get way shorter
together, and then sometimesthey get way longer apart from
each other, and it can just bewonky.
And there's over 150 knownsymptoms directly connected to
the hormonal changes inperimenopause.
(14:56):
And over 50% of the changes thathappen happen in the brain, not
even in the sex hormones and sexorgans.
SPEAKER_02 (15:02):
So when you say they happen in the brain, meaning
what?
Like you're talking about likesymptoms like brain fog or like
depression, like a there's a lotof symptoms that come with
perimenopausing.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03 (15:14):
Anxiety.
Well, also, like that if we lookat what those main hormones do,
estrogen really supports thebrain.
It can support the brain inlong-term memory formation, it
can support the brain inserotonin and dopamine uptake
and regulation.
And so we can feel a lot happierwhen we have estrogen.
So if all those feel-goodhormones start to tank out, we
(15:34):
can have a lot of those mentalimpacts pop up as a result of
that.
SPEAKER_00 (15:37):
Diva tonight, glamour for your ears.
This is 40, a femaleperspective.
SPEAKER_02 (15:44):
With your experience with monitoring this, what have
you noticed?
Do women have like in their 40s,especially?
Like from what I've read withyour breakdown of the cycle,
it's like, what do you thinkwomen struggle with the most in
their 40s with time and energy?
SPEAKER_03 (16:01):
I think that women don't recognize the gravity to
which they're impacted by theirmenstrual cycle.
And so they just feel likethey're going crazy when they're
in their 40s.
They feel like they're like, mybody isn't my own anymore.
I wanted to lose weight and Ican't lose weight.
I can't remember anything.
My kids are driving me crazy.
My husband's got to go becauselike they're now showing 70% of
(16:24):
divorce initiated by womenhappens during perimenopause.
Because what's really going onwhen we there's another way to
kind of look at the hormonesfrom your period through
ovulation, we have our bodywants to get pregnant.
So we have very pro-self,pro-social hormones.
Like we're we say yes toeverybody, we're much more
jovial, we're like taking thekids to the park, we're like
kissing our husband on thecheek, right?
(16:45):
Like we're very excited.
And then from your afterovulation through the next
period starting, you havepro-self hormones because your
body's trying to protect apotential pregnancy.
So as we go through periodmenopause, we have less, we have
more time in between periods.
So we have more time in thepro-self orientation of our
hormonal pattern.
Meaning if things are notworking for us, like that man,
(17:08):
that job, whatever thearrangement is, we were will, we
were more prone to remove thingsthat are no longer working for
us because of what our brain isdoing and how it interacts with
these hormones.
SPEAKER_02 (17:21):
Wow.
And do you think that's like asolution though?
I think I mean, like there'sbeen the whole movement now with
this is 40, you know, andthere's the whole craze.
Um, I think they're there, likeit's it's kind of like a
takeover right now.
But do you feel like we'reacting more on emotional
suffering versus like mental,meaning like when you're of
(17:42):
sound mind and body, like wheneverything is good, you make
better decisions.
But if you're just basing it offof the emotional side of things,
like your hormones being out ofwhy brain fog, everything like
that, like that you'rementioning.
SPEAKER_03 (17:56):
I think it's a yes and especially for this
generation that's currently kindof kicking off the menopause
divorce movement, because Ithink that men and women in
these partnerships have notunderstood each other for a very
long time.
And because of that, and the waythat women are socialized and
and we know globally are doing65 to 75% of unpaid labor in the
(18:17):
household.
I think we're we're reaching aboiling point in history where
women are like, yo, I alsocontribute and have a paycheck.
Like, what do you mean you wantme to do everything at home?
Like what?
Like if both parties are havinga full-time job, women should
not be doing 65 to 75% of theunpaid labor in their households
because that should also be interms of a partnership.
(18:38):
And so I believe that women arecoming into clarity right now,
but that divorcing everyone isnot really the solution.
The solution is men and womenunderstanding and then
renegotiating a more equitablesplit of labor at home.
But I think where it gets trickyfor both men and for women,
because of that, like I wasexplaining, pro-social,
(18:58):
pro-self-orientation that doeshappen biologically.
Sometimes it's easy for a womanthe first half of the month to
run around and clean up aftereverybody and not feel bad about
it, right?
It's easy for that part ofourselves to be like, okay, no
big deal.
Then the resentment buildsduring the second half.
And so women have got to also behonest, which takes them
(19:19):
understanding what's going on.
If women can't explain it tothemselves, how can they explain
it to their husband?
SPEAKER_02 (19:24):
No, that's that's another thing.
It's kind of feels like it'sit's a little bit of this, a
little bit of that.
And I have to say that it ishard when people don't
understand.
Because for me, like I, yeah,I'm 41 and I I my symptoms are
related to something else.
It's not perimenopause.
I went to my doctor and like thesame symptoms I have, which are
(19:45):
related to perimenopause, haveto do with the fact that I have
fibroids, which, you know, isanother common thing that a lot
of women deal with, but thesymptoms are similar to
perimenopause, like the brainfog and like hormone changes and
like as they say, all the thingsthat come with it.
And so, like, I asked my doctor,I'm like, is it is it
(20:07):
perimenopause?
And she's like, No, it's thoseare related to fibroid.
And so it is challenging.
Even when you are, you know, youget a doctor's note from work
and you explain the situationwhen you don't have people who
understand it, it just makes itso much harder, right?
SPEAKER_03 (20:23):
So, yeah, it's it's almost impossible.
It's like we don't, we all kindof are tiptoeing around the fact
that we know something is goingon, that like women are not the
same all the time, but becausewe can't have a real
conversation about it, everyonejust feels a little
uncomfortable slash left out inthe dark, I think.
SPEAKER_02 (20:39):
Yeah, yeah, but so I mean, that aside, how does the
agenda help us avoid thatconstant feeling of being
stretched thin?
You know what I mean?
Like obviously tracking how youare, I guess, is the starting
point to helping yourself,right?
SPEAKER_03 (20:54):
Yeah.
So what we have both in theplanner and on the app is what,
so when I first saw the the ideain my own data, saw see seeing
myself making more money atdifferent times, I didn't know
how I wanted to deliver thatinformation to people.
So I was actually in ameditation and this idea came
into, it was like my big magicmoment from Elizabeth Gilbert.
Like this idea, I felt it likecome into my brain and it was
(21:16):
like a planner for your period,plan with your period.
And I was like, what?
And I thought it was like aninstruction to go buy the
object, like go buy the journal.
And I looked everywhere onlineand I could not find it.
And so I got scared.
And then I finally startedworking on it in 2019, and we
did a beta test with a hundredwomen in business, and so we had
them go through their month.
We had like an like atheoretical orientation where
(21:39):
like we recommend this stuff atthese different times, and then
they a hundred different peoplegave us feedback, and that
created the content for like abunch of different types of
women and different ages andkind of getting to the root at
what activities felt easier todo in each phase.
So in the planner, we actuallyshow you how to do that, and in
our free app, we actually showpeople like we give
(21:59):
recommendations on what businessactivities you should work on or
what self-care activities youshould be working on for
whatever phase that you're in.
And so that is really how we wework with people.
We let them know, hey, you'rejust different hormonally right
now.
So letting them know what isyour benefit because we're so
used to talking about thesedifferent women say all the
time, I got one good week amonth.
(22:19):
That's it.
All the rest of the week suck.
I'll all I get is one good week.
And so what we really try toshow our users is that every
single phase has different giftsand different skill sets.
And the reason you feel out ofwhack is because you're not
aligning them together.
So when you start connecting thepieces and put them in the right
order, it's a lot easier to getyour work done.
You actually get more done whilehaving less effort put in.
SPEAKER_02 (22:42):
And what does that look like though?
Like if you're saying like tothat woman that was like, I only
have one good work, one goodweek a month, and the rest suck,
right?
SPEAKER_03 (22:52):
Yeah.
When we start to have peopletrack, they can then identify
this the patterns.
Because I think a lot of people,if they're having an experience
in their period, then thatdoesn't come up for a whole
nother month.
So then it's hard to rememberthat it's actually something
that's cyclical, that there is aa pattern and an orientation to
(23:12):
it.
Once you find out what thepattern is, aka the symptom or
the problem or the issue thatyou're having, then you can
apply there's so much reallygood literature on how to reduce
cramps, on what vitamins youneed to reduce menstrual
migraines, on hormonal acne.
And you need to know whatsymptoms you're actually
(23:33):
experiencing in order to knowwhat you need to adjust.
And because the events happenjust far enough from each other
in time, people don't connectthe dots like, oh, this is
something that happens to meevery month.
They just think, oh, it justkind of sucks to be me.
So tracking illuminatesself-self-awareness and that
self-understanding.
And once we understand and havepinpointed the problem, then we
(23:53):
can actually address it withsymptomatic relief.
SPEAKER_02 (23:56):
Yeah, that's that's the thing, you know, finding the
solution to the problem.
Like, you know, there are thingslike vitamin D, vitamin D from
what I've learned, and vitaminE, and implementing all that
into your daily routine.
So I think that that is often achallenge too, right?
So, but when it comes to cycles,so you talk about cycles and
(24:17):
like can you break down forwomen who may feel disconnected
from their own rhythms?
Like, how do I figure this out?
SPEAKER_03 (24:26):
Like, like today I feel like you have like if you
have no idea where you're at, oryeah, just tell me more.
Yeah, yeah.
So something that we talk aboutin the app and that we have in
our planner is working with themoon phases.
So if women feel reallydisconnected or their cycles
irregular, maybe they don'tknow, they don't know where
they're at, they're inperimenopause, they're pregnant,
they're postmenopausal,whatever.
The only thing on the planetthat is that 28-day-ish routine
(24:50):
is the moon.
And there's a lot of theoriesthat before there was
non-natural light that women allwere syncing up with the moon.
So, kind of the idea that aroundthe new moon, that is your
bleed.
So when the moon is low in thesky, that's our lowest energy
point.
And then as we move towards thefull moon, that's like our
ovulation time.
And so if you don't have yourown cycle, you can definitely
(25:13):
tap in and create a ritual, likea feminine ritual for yourself
with the moon.
And that's been really, reallypowerful for a lot of our users.
SPEAKER_02 (25:23):
Yeah.
So I mean, you said there's thethere's there's, I mean, I
looked it up, like there's thefree app, and then obviously the
paid app with if someone islistening today and they're
like, well, you know what, thissounds like a good idea.
Maybe I should try it.
So what's the one small shiftthat you could start with right
away?
SPEAKER_03 (25:41):
Daily cycle check-in.
So it's we have we have we dohave it in the app, but no
matter even if you just have iton a journal, is taking five
minutes a day to write aboutyour feelings, to write about
your mood, to write about yourenergy, and then keeping it all
in the same place.
That is what allows you to seepatterns over time, is where you
have something all put togetherfor yourself because then you
can start to notice.
Oh, I get really mad on day 24.
(26:02):
Like, what's going on over here?
That's a thing, right?
So, whatever the case may be,you need to have a place where
you can illuminate for yourselfand give yourself your own
loving attention.
Women are, I love women, I'veworked with women my whole
career, and we are all almostalways last on our own list of
who needs to get taken care ofand how we prioritize our time.
And that is definitely somethingthat women can hold each other
(26:25):
accountable for because thatleads to a lot of the resentment
that causes divorce andperimenopause.
Because we're not speaking upfor ourselves.
We've got to put our own oxygenmask on first before we can take
care of anyone else in our life.
SPEAKER_02 (26:35):
Yeah.
You know, I can I can relate tothat because I feel like like
the whole brain fog thing, likeI'm no, like I, like you said, I
wasn't paying attention to it,but it's like the second, the
second time it's happening, thesecond month in a row it's
happening where I'm like, but Iknow how to do this.
Why am I making so manymistakes?
And it's like my coworker wouldjoke over me and be like, Hey,
(26:56):
did you just start?
You know, I know he's justjoking, but it's it's
interesting when you're startingto monitor, and I'm like, well,
I need to check into thisbecause something's not right.
You know what I mean?
Like trying to figure out whatthe solution is to the brain fog
and the forgetfulness.
And you know, I already haveother things that I have
(27:16):
struggles with.
So, like you said, the mentalhealth and your diet and
everything, what's it called,come into play with it, right?
SPEAKER_03 (27:24):
So yes.
I'm looking, I'm I'm taking somenotes really quick to see.
Like, I'm I'm off the top of myhead.
Okay, so here's why brain foghappens in perimenopause.
So the estrogen can start todecline, which disturbs sleep.
And then we've got the stressand cortisol imbalance, right?
And then they're all kind oflayered together the blood sugar
(27:45):
instability and a nutrientdepletion.
And so we're looking at all ofthese pieces together, and that
that's why when we talk aboutit, when we talk about health
and overall like hormonalhealth, we we're just launching
a program right now.
For women, it really has to beabout the the food that we're
eating, like what are we puttingin and out, how we're moving,
because it's not just about whatour body looks like, but
(28:05):
actually our movement is one ofour biggest brain support tools
that we have.
And then the relationships thatwe have, whether that's at work,
whether that's with kiddos,whether that's with a
partnership, because all ofthose interactions, because
again, remember, we're sooriented, either pro-self,
pro-social, or pro-self, all ofthose things are really gonna
impact.
And so for women, when we'relooking at longevity and health,
(28:25):
it's not just about getting tothe gym, it's about how all of
these complex factors linktogether and are put over our
menstrual cycle because we needdifferent things in the four
phases as well.
SPEAKER_02 (28:37):
Yeah.
No, I looked into it.
And so, like for me, it's like Iguess, I guess when you're when
there's something wrong, and I'mlike, you're what's how do I say
this too to explain myselfbetter?
Is that when I when I got reallysick and then I I had that
wake-up call, it's like yousaid, when you were meditating,
it's like you have that call andyou're like, I need to get back
(28:57):
on track with my health andeverything, right?
When you figure out what'swrong, because they did all the
tests, and then you know, now Iknow like what I'm doing, but
it's really, it really suckswhen you're always playing
ketchup.
So I'm anemic too, right?
And so it's just like one of thethings that I've learned from
talking to other women likeyourself is that what I have is
(29:17):
it could be a progesteronedeficiency, and so that's
affecting everything across theboard.
So it's like the battle, youknow what I mean?
Um, with brain fog, you know,memory loss and that thing.
But I think it's amazing thatyou created this helpful tool
for other women, and I hope thatwith this conversation, other
women will look into it and seeif they can start monitoring
(29:42):
their monthly cycles so that itcan start the I guess the
progress.
Because I mean, knowing is halfthe battle, but like
implementing it and doing itthat's another thing, too, like
starting a new habit, right?
And so the one thing I want toask you if you could give one
piece of advice to women if.
In their 40s, about creatingmore balance and intention.
(30:03):
Like what would it be?
SPEAKER_03 (30:05):
And say your body during this time is it's doing
all of those things to bring youback to yourself.
And so making sure you have yourown creative outlets, making
sure that you are living a lifethat you don't want to run away
from.
I think that's super duperimportant to create a joyful,
luscious life in our 40s.
And and our bodies aredefinitely giving us those
opportunities of here's here'sthe time and the attention to do
(30:28):
that now.
So do it with intention becausethen you won't feel so whipped
all over the place by your ownlife.
If you're really kind of sittingwith this this midlife stage
with intention, you'll setyourself up really well for a
very full and happy second,second phase of life.
SPEAKER_02 (30:42):
Yeah, second phase.
I mean, it it it it has its prosand cons.
I think this is like the leadup, but there's also like more
pain.
I I really is, you know.
Oh my gosh.
I mean, wait, you were talking,I I mean, I didn't ask you about
this.
One more thing I want to say, uhask you is like you were talking
about how you're dealing withperimenopause.
(31:05):
So how did you know that that'sexactly what you're dealing with
and it's not anything else?
SPEAKER_03 (31:10):
Well, I've been tracking my cycle professionally
for for six years, and like Ireally, you know, I really know
the ins and outs of my menstrualcycle, and I've been in periods
of very high stress before andvery low stress, and I am a
fertile myrtle.
So I ovulate and I like it'slike clock, you should set the
world clock by my ovulationschedule until the last two
(31:32):
months.
So I and I'm a twin mom.
I had a spontaneous twinpregnancy in 2020.
And in my two cycles ago, Idropped two eggs five days
apart.
So I had the cervical, thefertile quality cervical mucus.
I dropped an egg, and then Ikind of like crashed out because
I had like extreme ovulationpain on my left side, and then
like, but like the the mucuscame down, and then three or
(31:54):
four days later, I startedgetting more of the cervical
mucus again, and then I had acouple days later extreme
ovulation pain on the rightside, and then my period came
five days late.
And so, like, I know that Idropped it, like I had all of
the signs, all of thebiomarkers, all of the tracking.
And so that's why there isn'tactually a one test that is
definitive about perimenopause,and it's more we need to start
(32:16):
understanding it is these subtleshifts that is just showing our
our period is starting, it'sgoing away from its regular
pattern and it is shiftingtowards.
Like, I'm not at the end, I'mobviously still young.
I'm not like gonna get menopausetomorrow.
But if we looked kind of like atthe peak, I'm now coming back
down the other side of that.
And that is a disservice, Ithink, that the medical
(32:37):
community right now it keepstelling women they're definitely
not in menopause orperimenopause when we know that
these changes are tied to ourhormonal production.
And so it just leaves more womenfeeling crazy if they're like,
wait, no, like I think I amactually going through this
thing.
And doctors, like, no, you'retoo young for that.
Like, no, we're now showingpretty, pretty consistently that
it can start in your mid-30s.
SPEAKER_02 (32:58):
Yeah, you know, it's one of the things that is just
like there's signs and thenthere's symptoms, obviously.
But I think the one thing islike telling your doctor those
symptoms that you're having,like just advocating for
yourself.
I've been an advocate for myselfsince 2020, and I think that
that's the only thing you cando.
You're the only person who cantalk for yourself, and like the
(33:21):
doctor will give you theinformation based on what you're
telling them, and and that's thething, right?
And so, but yeah, you said yourmom of twins, I can hear that
right?
Yes, twin mom.
Oh, very interesting.
Wow, how is that going, mommydearest?
Twins.
SPEAKER_03 (33:39):
Double the fun.
Oh my god, double the fun.
I mean, it's fun now, like whenthings like that.
SPEAKER_02 (33:45):
You have all this energy.
SPEAKER_03 (33:46):
Are you being a mom is not easy when you're in the
luteal phase because kids liketheir voices are so annoying in
the luteal?
Like when you have low estrogen,like a screech from a child
feels like nails on achalkboard.
I'm like, I can't, yeah, right.
Exactly.
Yeah, so um twin now thatthey're they're gonna be five in
November, it's pretty fun.
(34:07):
So but the baby state that firstyear, I wouldn't wish that on my
worst enemy.
Sleep, who is it?
SPEAKER_02 (34:12):
Didn't know her, like wow, it was crazy.
My goodness, I just learnedsomething very new.
I I didn't I didn't know that.
Oh my gosh, twins.
I have one friend with twins,and like, yeah, that is
definitely a game changer.
Chaos, yes, chaos, chaos, chaos,wow, but you're doing it, you're
doing you're doing it, you'rehere, and yeah, and you're
(34:34):
helping you're helping uh womenone step at a time.
And and so what is your missionin this next phase?
I guess what we call it, wecould call the next phase,
right?
You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (34:45):
Our mission is just continuing to make sure that
people have as much access tothis health information in this
body literacy because I thinkit's a human right to understand
how your body works.
I think that that feels like apretty honestly low bar for what
we should make sure every humanhas access to.
And so we're really dedicated toensuring we can create whatever
creative tools and resources aregoing to meet people where
(35:06):
they're at.
SPEAKER_02 (35:07):
Yeah.
No, it's it's it's it's amazingthat you created something like
this and like you know, justmonitoring.
They always say to monitor yourperiod, like you know what I
mean.
But I I don't think we werepaying attention in class in
school when you know, like youwere talking about those things.
SPEAKER_03 (35:24):
I wasn't, I surely was not I was not paying
attention.
And my 10-year-old self wouldhave been like, What do you mean
you created a period company?
That's so cringy.
Like, what's wrong with you?
My 10-year-old self mortifiedright now.
Like, just like this isembarrassing.
SPEAKER_02 (35:41):
You know what, even now, like this is the one thing,
like, you know, when you go tothe store and you buy pads, like
it's still a thing of like whatsee, that's the thing.
It's it's it's like put it in abag, hide it.
Like, we we just you know, andlike even when I had it the
other day at the store, I'mlike, are they looking at the
package?
Like, is that what they'relooking at?
SPEAKER_03 (36:03):
And if women like globally, because this is
something that connects us nomatter like our socioeconomic
status or like where we live inthe world, if one were like, hey
guys, we've been really unchillabout this, and so now we're
just gonna demand period leave.
Oh, and you can't replace us.
We make over half of the uhglobal workforce.
So people would have no choicebut to get involved.
Women, we just need to like havea giant global period party, and
(36:24):
we'll like just like we'll likeeveryone get over it and like
we're just gonna talk aboutperiods now.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (36:30):
Alex, we're gonna start the movement.
I'm waiting on you.
Starting the movement.
Are you?
Yes.
Let's see, let's go, let's go.
Let's see.
I will help you here in Canada.
Let's do it.
You know, so I want to thank youso much for sharing your story
and your wisdom with what you'velearned.
Like, it's amazing.
So, how can my listener findyou?
(36:51):
Where are you?
You're online, right?
SPEAKER_03 (36:53):
Theagendaperiod.com.
Everywhere on TikTok, I makelike lots of spicy content over
there and Instagram.
So come hang out with us onsocials and um, yeah, check out
our website.
That's that'll give you the linkto the products we've created
and all of the different coolresources that we have.
So definitely check outtheagendaperiod.com.
SPEAKER_02 (37:10):
Theagendaperiod.com with Alex Cobafrakes.
Thank you so much.
All the way in Iowa, right?
Yes, Alex.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
For sure, I'm Carlene, and thisis Diva Tonight.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00 (37:26):
Diva Tonight with Carlene will be back.
Send us a message on Instagramat Diva underscore tonight.
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