October 11, 2024 • 37 mins
This week, Kaytalin Platt joins Regina on the show. Kaytalin shares stories of growing up in rural Alabama and how life changing it was to move to the big city. This is the first time Kaytalin talks about her spicy brain and I deeply appreciate her sharing her story with us!
Checkout Kaytalin's books on her website https://kaytalinplatt.com/ and her artwork on TikTok and Instagram.
Make sure to subscribe to the show so you don't miss an episode! Follow us on Instagram @DivergentPathsConsulting and let us know what you think about the show. We'd love to hear your thoughts!
About Regina McMenomy Ph.D.
Host of the Divergent Paths Podcast | ADHD & Neurodiversity Advocate | Founder, Divergent Paths Consulting
Welcome to Divergent Paths, a podcast dedicated to exploring life, work, and creativity through the lens of neurodiversity. Hosted by Regina, founder of Divergent Paths Consulting, the show delves into the experiences of individuals navigating ADHD and other invisible disabilities. As someone who received a late ADHD diagnosis, Regina brings personal insights and professional expertise to each episode, helping listeners find new ways to thrive in a neurotypical world.
With over 20 years of experience in instructional design, project management, and coaching, Regina is passionate about creating inclusive spaces where neurodiverse individuals can succeed. Through this podcast, Regina shares conversations with experts, professionals, and everyday people, offering tips, strategies, and stories of empowerment.
Tune in to learn how to embrace neurodivergence, redefine success, and chart your own path forward.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
We happened to be on a trip to London and we went to the Tate Modern Museum and they
(00:07):
had an exhibit where it was a room with just a tower of TVs and radios and every single
one of them were on and playing at the same time.
I was like, did you hear this right now?
Can you understand what any of these things are saying at a given time?
No, that's what the world sounds like to me.
It sounds so loud and everyone's talking at the same time.
(00:29):
Hello and welcome to Divergent Paths.
I'm your host, Dr. Regina McMenemy.
I am a doctor, but not that kind of doctor, and this is a podcast, not medical advice.
(00:50):
Have you always felt a little different but didn't know why?
Have you struggled with tasks that some people seem to handle with ease?
Are you mystified by social norms and interactions?
Divergent Paths is a podcast for late diagnosed neurodivergent people to discuss their journeys
discovering the joys and frustrations of having a spicy brain.
Each episode, I will interview someone who discovered they have ADHD, autism, or a combination
(01:14):
of the two later in life.
What defines a later in life diagnosis?
Anytime the realization happens outside of the quote unquote norm of childhood and adolescence.
Caitlin Platt is a designer, artist, and author.
Her debut novel, The Living God, was published in 2019.
Along with her writing prowess, Caitlin is a talented visual artist as well as a mom.
(01:36):
She shares her story of discovering how her maladaptive daydreaming was related to her
spicy brain and how it is a catalyst for much of her myth making.
So stay tuned and thanks for listening to Divergent Paths.
So our listeners already kind of know you.
At least a little bit of you.
(01:57):
Fantastic.
Because you did the art for the podcast.
Yes, yes I did.
That was a very fun project.
I'm glad.
I remember giving you very loose ideas and not really having like a really clear idea
myself and then being blown over by what you produced for me.
(02:19):
The benefit was I think I went camping like the week before I worked on it and that's
always my reset for the year creatively.
I just go into the woods for a week and I can't like there's no cell service up there.
It's just really just get away from everything.
So it helps me think clearer when I come back.
Yeah, I bet it does.
Actually I think one of the very few things that we know about neurodivergent brains is
(02:46):
that time spent in nature is particularly important to get away from all the stimuli
because of the dopamine drain that we have in just modern life in general.
Yeah, I grew up in Alabama on a farm up until I was like in my mid-20s and then I moved
(03:08):
to New Jersey.
Oh wow.
So like I think a lot of the things that I didn't really notice I was neurodivergent
when I lived on the farm because I was in the middle of the nowhere and I didn't really
have a lot of people to interact with who like to notice the differences.
I just thought I was a weird kid.
I just thought I was a weird kid.
(03:32):
And I think also like I didn't have I wasn't overstimulated because I was in like I didn't
realize I had a problem with crowds or that I would get like too much noise like I can't
handle a lot of sounds.
Yeah.
And I didn't notice that because I lived in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, fascinating.
I lived in a town of 500 people and then I moved to New Jersey and I'm like why is my
(03:57):
brain breaking?
I couldn't handle malls or crowds or yeah I'm better now.
So much better.
Well, I mean, you know, it's a lot of it is just exposure and repeated exposures.
But I lived in the Hudson Valley of New York so I wasn't in Jersey but I was close and
(04:20):
I used to fly out of New York all the time.
And New Jersey has some of the biggest and most overstimulating malls that have ever
existed.
I didn't know malls could be two stories till I moved to New Jersey.
I was like what there's a whole other level to this.
You've got another story.
(04:41):
This is two stories.
Oh my god.
Oh yes.
Yeah, we used to go we used to go sometimes too.
I can't remember the name of the of the mall that we went to but yeah.
It's just a culture I can imagine that the culture shock from Alabama to New Jersey was
just huge in general.
(05:02):
Yes, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
But people ask me if I had power and where I came from.
One way to you I was getting something from CBS and I'm like, I know that's not what you
meant.
You had to mean mean to ask me a different question.
Right.
Yeah.
That's why I was from you know I moved to New York from California and the question
(05:22):
for me was always like, oh, what's it like to surf?
And I was like, I the coast I grew up on is like very rocky and like people don't surf
there because it's like the water is 50 degrees and it's 50 degrees out most of the time.
Not all of California is LA.
So yeah, it's funny the impressions that people have.
(05:44):
Yes, yes.
I think I probably would ask that same question if someone in Calum.
Yeah, what's it like to surf?
What's it like to have sunny days all the time?
And I'm like, I don't know.
Perfect weather all the time, right?
Right.
Exactly.
So the moving so sort of moving away from home and moving to a different state was part
of what like what helped you realize your neurodivergence.
(06:06):
Well, I so I grew up in the middle of nowhere, like I said, and I had my school was kindergarten
through 12th grade 500 students.
I had 30 people in my class.
And I knew that I was I functioned different from most people.
And I spent I didn't know what I did growing up was called maladaptive daydreaming.
(06:31):
I basically lived in my head.
And I just I knew it was different.
And I was the weird kid.
My sister did not claim me as her sister.
People are like, it's a small town and people still didn't know that we were sisters until
(06:53):
I graduated and she came to my graduation.
That's how on the low she wanted to be separated from me.
Wow.
But yeah, and I I just thought I didn't I had no other explanation for other the fact
that I like to live in my head and I like to read and I like to see and yeah, and I
(07:14):
didn't understand.
I didn't understand I might have ADHD, ADHD until I met a person who also has it.
And I was like, I was like noticing that we had very similar hang ups, I guess.
I don't know what you call them.
Yeah.
I mean, that would have been how you thought about it at that time.
(07:36):
You might think of it differently now.
Yeah.
And and I was like, you know what?
I think I might have that.
And he goes, oh, yes, totally.
Please go find someone to diagnose you, which I have not officially done yet.
Unfortunately, I have a lot of autoimmune issues and those have taken all the time and
(08:01):
the doctor for those things.
Because like I might have lupus and they don't know if I have lupus.
I'm constantly getting my blood work done and doing all of these scans.
So it was just like I don't I didn't want to go to my doctor with another thing digitally
wrong with me.
So I have self diagnosed at this point, which is probably not the best thing to do help
(08:24):
for health wise.
But I do plan on getting a formal diagnosis.
Yeah.
It's it's it's a it's a journey getting a formal diagnosis, getting someplace that can
give you the diagnosis, trying to get your insurance cover diagnosis.
I have a friend who recently got diagnosis and diagnosed and she is actually considering
(08:45):
going for an autistic odd ADHD because she's noticing that a lot of her.
The things that she does overlap with autism.
So like sound sensitivity and things like that.
Yeah, that's what the assessment that I took was for both.
(09:06):
But I think I outsmarted most of the autism test.
I hadn't come back.
I didn't come back.
There were four tests that they could give and of three of them, I had been negative
and so or negative, not showing indications of autism.
And then I didn't take the I opted at that point not to take the long two hour, two hundred
(09:29):
question assessment.
Oh, I wouldn't.
Yeah.
I just want to stop now.
At that point, I had been in testing for five hours.
Oh, wow.
No, of course.
Yeah.
And it was going to be another two hours.
And I'm like, we can just be done right now.
And then when I got my feedback, he's like, the more I talk to you, the more autistic
you seem.
So I was like, well, that's an interesting observation.
(09:52):
Now that my ADHD is medicated, my autism is like, hi, how you been?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because she she started medication for ADHD and it's like, oh, functioning better now
and I'm starting to notice these.
Yes.
Yes.
I think it's a very common experience, especially I think for female identified or assigned
(10:17):
female birth bodies, because our presentation tends to be so different from what was originally
studied and considered for ADHD.
So I think a lot of times, especially or maybe especially for autism, I think, because I
just saw a TikTok that was like, oh, back in the 90s, they didn't think girls could
(10:37):
have autism.
It's like, yeah, that's because they only study boys.
I mean, yeah.
That's unfortunate.
Yeah.
And that's why so many women I think are getting their diagnosis, especially like much later
in life and like social media has a tendency to make things seem like a trend.
(10:58):
But no, it's just people are becoming more informed and they're like, hey, I think I
have this.
And then they're finding out that they actually do.
Yeah, exactly.
I know.
We I know there have been some things like I've seen a few posts of people on some of
my social media that go along the lines of what does everybody have ADHD now?
And it's like, well, you know, we tend to find each other.
(11:22):
Yeah, exactly.
Hey, your brain functions like my brain.
Can we be friends because they don't get this, right?
And you're not as likely to seek out connections with people who don't have that kind of functioning.
So like for that, too, I think that that well, everybody does that.
Well, no.
Yeah, that was like I was like, I thought everybody did the day.
(11:46):
The maladaptive daydreaming.
I thought people daydreamed like I did, like I like just just tune out like the whole world
just disappears and I'm inside a movie in my head.
And I thought that was how people daydreamed.
And apparently they don't.
And so what did you kind of realize that that was different?
Very recently, I read up on it and I was just like, oh, that's what I've been doing all
(12:14):
my life.
And I thought everyone tuned out the entire world to the point of not hearing, not seeing
and just seeing what's going on in my head.
And yeah, and I was like, oh, well, that's I guess how I write books because I was that's
exactly where I was going to go.
So you're an author and you know, you don't just do graphic design, you do art and you
(12:39):
write as well.
And so is that where like are your novels and your stories that inner daydreaming on
the page?
Yeah, that's what I like the series that I'm closing out started.
I basically wrote it in my head while I should have been doing algebra.
(13:01):
And then in college, I was like, well, what happens if I write it down on paper?
So I just started transcribing my daydreams basically.
And now I'm for four books and the fourth book comes out next year.
I have another book that came out in August, a different series.
And it's just the I enjoy taking my daydreams and putting them on paper.
(13:25):
But sometimes they like I'm not always daydreaming about fantastical things.
Unfortunately, sometimes my daydreams are awful because my brain goes on the anxiety
train.
It's like, hey, what if we went off this bridge right now?
And you unbuckle your child in time right before you drown like that's awful.
But that's what my brain will do.
And it'll hyper fixate on that.
(13:47):
And I'll spend the next hour of a car ride and not remembering how I got where I'm going.
I end up where I'm going.
But I spent the entire time problem solving how to get my daughter out of the car seat
if we go off a bridge.
Right.
It's just awful.
Oh, I feel I feel you on on very deeply on that.
Yeah.
I have had very many of those similar types of intrusive thoughts that that they kind
(14:13):
of spiral or snowball on each other where I can get on on a thread.
And then it's the ADHD kicks in and it's every option of everything that could happen in
that scenario.
And then my anxiety demands that I follow the worst case scenario path.
(14:34):
Right.
And I'm just in that like, OK, this is the worst thing that could happen in a situation.
And this is where I live now.
Yeah.
And that's how my brain works.
Very similarly.
It's always been and it does it with everything, even tiny things.
It's like, OK, here are the possible branches of things that will happen.
(14:54):
Narrow it down to the most likely ones.
And it does that for everything from walking to the car.
Like my husband, he's like, you cannot do anything.
It has to be streamlined.
It has to be like the shortest way to this point.
There is no backtracking.
There's no divergent, like going a different path, because it's just how I have to function.
(15:17):
And it drives him a little crazy.
Because I'm like, no, it has to be this way.
Right.
That's my brain's narrowed it down that this is the path that will work.
It's the most likely to succeed.
We have to do it.
We have to do it this way.
Yeah.
Do you think that he is neurodivergent as well or?
He has OCD.
So it's not like the cleanliness.
(15:40):
It's like if I don't line up something like he likes it lined up, he'll come behind me
and line it up.
My house is very clean because it's not like the obsession of germs type of thing.
But he needs to be clean, organized.
So he has a touch of that, and I think he might have a touch of ADHD too.
(16:02):
But I don't know.
He hasn't been diagnosed either.
No.
And like I said, I don't-
But he does have the OCD part because he gets it from his mom.
I mean, ADHD runs in families.
Autism runs in families.
So now that I've noticed it myself, I noticed it in my mom.
(16:24):
I grew up in a house of projects that were never finished.
Like the floor is ripped up, but we haven't put down a new floor.
We've got one wall painted, but we haven't painted the rest of the room.
We've got a hutch that has paint on one side, but not paint on the other side.
And I never realized, I didn't understand that's what she was doing or that's what was
(16:45):
affecting her until now.
And now I'm like, Mom, I think you-
I got it.
Yeah.
Like you're the source.
I figured it out.
You start connecting dots when you realize, when you understand, you're just like, okay.
Yeah, absolutely.
This is where all of this comes from.
(17:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, absolutely.
I did the exact same thing with my family as well, where I can go back now and understand
that my mom's desire to redecorate the house.
And my mom didn't do just new fabrics.
(17:28):
My mom was like, well, let's move this wall and let's take this wall down and let's put
a wall up here.
And these were big design choices.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So now I understand more that need and that drive for change and all that was driven by
(17:50):
her divergence as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For me, it was a very reassuring thing to recognize that it wasn't just me and my family
because I have a similar story to yours.
I don't think it was maladaptive daydreaming necessarily as much as it was just, I would
just immerse myself in books and I would read and I would dissociate and I would be hard
(18:13):
to interrupt and we'd get hyper-focused on all that.
And now I know that that was a maladaptive behavior to the anxiety because it was easy
to the anxiety caused by the ADHD, autism.
It's easy to focus on that story.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I read when I figured out the maladaptive daydreaming, I read it was like it can be
(18:36):
brought on as a coping mechanism for trauma.
Trauma.
I grew up, like I love both my parents, but when I was growing up, they were both alcoholics
and they fought violently until I was probably 10 when my dad, he had a stroke and the doctor
was like, you can either quit drinking and smoking or you can die in a few years.
(18:56):
And so he quit.
But I think I started doing it because they would be fighting and I would go into this
fantasy world that I created.
That was just like, now I couldn't escape.
I was like seven.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can't get out of it.
Yeah.
(19:17):
So I connected those dots and I'm like, oh, that's so interesting.
But it was also a problem because I did very poorly in anything that wasn't reading or
writing or didn't involve a book.
I had problems at school.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm a similar similar experiences.
I didn't excel in math.
(19:38):
I could handle history and some social science, all of those things, because they had the
I've joked that one of the reasons why I don't test for autism necessarily is because one
of my special interests is just people.
And some people have said, well, that's just an adaptive behavior when you are autistic
and you're trying to understand the environment.
(20:00):
But like having relationships and having connections with people have always been kind of a priority
for me.
And a lot of the autism questions are like, you have trouble trouble starting relationships.
And it's like, nope, don't actually.
I might have trouble maintaining them sometimes because if people don't understand the way
the spicy brains work.
(20:21):
Yeah.
Now, the they say object permanence, people will talk about object permanence, but that's
not really what it is.
Like you just kind of I just kind of forget that people exist sometimes.
It's not malicious necessarily.
It's just I. Yeah, it's.
And that is my mom and I do it.
(20:41):
We're terrible at keeping up with each other because I forget to call.
We'll reach out like I love my mother.
But yeah, we'll go months without like we'll text every now and then.
But we haven't called each other and we do it to each other.
And it's just it's not that I love her any less.
It's that day like time.
(21:02):
I forget how long it's been since I taught last.
Or it's I feel bad about it.
And I'm bad at keeping up with friendships because I'm I think people expect you to reach
out and I'm not a reach out person.
That's just.
It's terrible.
It's not terrible.
It's probably also part of the adaptive behaviors that you've you've developed to where it's
(21:28):
it's safer to not put yourself out there sometimes.
And I have found before I knew that that the.
That my forgetfulness, that my that my memory, my bad memory is an isn't a moral failing.
Right.
And it took a long time to get to that.
(21:50):
My bad memory is not a moral failing.
It's based right where I have been judged and persecuted and held responsible sometimes
for things that I didn't intend to forget that I didn't mean to forget.
Like I don't you know, it just I just don't have the memory capacity.
My brain doesn't work that way.
(22:11):
That's one of the big pieces that's missing.
But when when you have that like forgetfulness, it becomes even harder to like continue to
reach out to people because you're like, are they mad?
Like and sometimes they are mad.
And sometimes you have like fallen short and they've told a story or created a narrative
around you dropping off the planet that has literally nothing to do with you dropping
(22:31):
off the planet.
But they become committed to that.
And there ends up being like risk and fear and all kinds of like bad feelings that get
involved in it.
So just not reaching out ends up being a little easier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then once you've realized you've gone so long, you're like, I don't want to reach
out now because it's been.
It's been two months and I was I read your text message and I never texted you back.
(22:55):
Yeah.
And sometimes I won't even know.
I won't even notice or realize.
And then I'll have some event that's like, oh, I should tell so and so about this.
And then I go and look and I'm like, oh, my God, I haven't responded to this message
for so long.
Oh, my goodness.
What am I supposed to do with this now?
And now I'm just I just flat out apologize.
And I'm like, I didn't forget to do this because it didn't mean something.
(23:19):
I'm sorry you missed it.
I'm sorry you didn't respond.
Whatever.
I just.
Yeah, I've just basically been like, hi, I read this and then I forgot to reply.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm like, just tell the truth because that ends up being easier.
I know that my husband, he because he tells me things like to take out the garbage or
(23:40):
something like something.
He'll give me a task.
Right.
And then I don't do the task because I forgot the task.
So we're still working.
We're still working through that one.
That and he I have an auditory processing issue, I think, because if he has to like
(24:01):
be like stop anything that I'm doing or the TV or something and talk to me because I will
not I just won't hear him.
Right.
And and I think it frustrates him a little bit.
He'll be like, I was I told you this or like I thought I was talking to you.
I was just talking to you like we were you were looking at me and my mouth was moving
(24:21):
and we were having a conversation and I was like, I didn't hear you because there's a
beep over there.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have always before I knew that it was ADHD, I described it as I am incapable of having
two verbal pathways and enter my brain at the same time.
(24:44):
So I knew for years that I couldn't I couldn't write and listen to music because I would
automatically transcribe the words.
Yeah.
I can't do anything with vocals.
I can do instrumental music.
Fine.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Somebody told me somebody somebody gave me this.
They said the Bridgerton soundtrack is really fun for writing.
You write romance.
(25:04):
It might be fun to listen to because it's all like pop songs with.
That's what I think I was the only high schooler whose favorite band band was like Hans Zimmer.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
That's the kid who's collected soundtrack CDs instead of rock.
(25:27):
I mean, you know, it makes sense.
It makes sense.
But yeah, the auditory processing can be particularly frustrating.
In the recent episode, I was talking about how I will not realize that I've heard something
and somebody will be speaking to me and I'll say, huh, and they'll start to repeat it.
And then my brain will click in and hear the first time even though they're in the middle
(25:50):
of repeating it.
And then I answer as they're repeating themselves and people get mad.
And it's like, I'm not doing it on purpose.
Like it's just takes my brain sometimes a second to catch up.
So some of my close.
Like that apart the information.
And because you're not just taking in the words, right?
I'm never just taking in one thing.
(26:11):
It's that the beep.
It's the car.
It's the alarm that went off down the street.
It's oh my God, there's a fan on it.
You know, whatever else the light changed.
It could be anything.
I'm taking in so much information that that the stream of words is one piece of all of
this and my brain doesn't have the capacity to pick out what's important.
(26:33):
No I that I tried explaining it to him once and to my husband.
And the best thing for it was we we happened to be on a trip to London and we went to the
Tate Modern Museum and they had a an exhibit where it was a room with just a tower of TVs
and radios.
(26:53):
And it was like 20 feet high and six feet wide.
And they were all on the radio and the TV.
Every single one of them were on and playing at the same time.
And I was like, this is what the world sounds like to me.
I was like, did you hear this right now?
Can you understand what any of these things are saying at a given time?
(27:14):
No, that's what the world sounds like.
It's so loud and everyone's talking at the same time.
Yes, exactly.
Every moment of every day has all of this noise.
I can tell you that the ADHD medication does help with that.
It does make things a little bit less.
(27:36):
I'm definitely going to reach out to my doctor and just I was afraid of feeling like a hypochondriac
because I've got celiac disease and they think I have lupus and I've got all of these other
autoimmune possibilities because I did the test and when you have one autoimmune, you
have probably more than one.
(27:58):
Several others.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Your immune system just like a switch flips and it's like, hi.
Hi.
We hate your entire environment.
You're no longer allowed to eat bread.
I'm sorry.
That's hard.
I miss bread.
So for the last few years, I have to go to the dermatologist every three months.
(28:24):
I was going to a rheumatologist every three months and I'm getting blood drawn and I was
just like, I know this is an issue that I am not or something that I should discuss
with her and get formal diagnosis because I think I would function better if I had help.
Right.
I don't want to add another living to the list of problems that I already have.
(28:49):
Yeah.
I did something similar.
I was going through premenopause and I had to deal with my hormones before I dealt with
ADHD.
Yeah.
You have to have priorities sometimes.
There are certain things that need to take precedence.
So all that makes sense.
I'm going to put my big girl pants on and get it done very soon though because I can
(29:12):
see how it's helped.
The guy that I'm friends with through my husband who was like, oh yeah, you totally have it.
You need to go speak to someone and then my best friend recently got diagnosed and I'm
like, okay, I need to stop being afraid of this and just go get it done.
I think it would be valuable for you.
(29:35):
So what has the response been?
How have you talked to your mom about this and have you shared your diagnosis?
I've talked to her about it, but she's very old school southern lady.
And just like, yeah, that's how I function.
That makes sense.
(29:55):
But she's not into going and getting a diagnosis.
She's like, I'm 64 years old, so this is who I am.
Right.
I live in this house with everything half painted.
This is just my reality.
(30:17):
Sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, and I can respect that too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you had a conversation with your sister?
No, my sister is very...
She I think made it out of... her brain seems to function, I think, on a neurotypical level.
(30:42):
But we've never discussed our ailments.
Our not ailments, but we've never discussed things that are wrong with us.
We have a very interesting relationship.
We weren't really close until I moved out of my house.
And now we're close.
We have daughters that are two years apart, but we're still on that not close enough to
(31:08):
talk about health.
Right.
Unless it's like, hi, I'm critically ill.
It's just not on a comfortable level.
We've never been very comfortable talking to each other about the things that are wrong
with us.
And I think that has a lot to do with the fact we were the adults growing up in our
(31:31):
family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, that's a lot to unpack.
There is a lot to unpack there.
I have a fair amount of that in my history as well.
So I understand, especially for daughters, I think, their responsibilities that end up
when you're in a not functioning household.
(31:53):
I don't want to say dysfunctional because that word is kind of loaded with a bunch of
other things.
But when you're in a household that's being impacted by any kind of addiction, the kids
end up being the ones taking care of things.
I definitely had a fair amount of that happening.
So yeah, I can make it complicated.
(32:15):
Yeah.
So we kind of grew up as roommates or not even roommates, kind of like co-workers.
Because we were like, we're here together to work on this problem together.
Kind of like a formal separation that way.
Yeah.
(32:35):
There wasn't a lot of sisterly bonding that we got to do.
If we weren't at school, we were working on a farm or we were dealing with the issues
within our family.
Right.
Yeah.
So that takes a lot of strength, you and your sister are both very strong to have come out
(32:57):
of that and flourished because it's not easy.
It isn't, no.
Especially if you are fighting against an invisible disability that nobody knows that
you have.
Yeah.
In high school, I just remember my parents, they were so confused about what was going
on with me.
Because I was living, like I said, living in my head and I would pretend to sleep so
(33:22):
I could live in my head.
And they were like, are you on drugs?
You're tired all the time.
I'm like, no, I just want to stay in the daydream because that's where I'm happier.
Right.
Yeah.
This reality that I have made up for myself is so much happier than where I'm actually
living.
I would rather be there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, that's fair.
And that is a survival mechanism.
(33:45):
So that makes sense.
If you had a chance to go back and sort of talk to yourself when you were that age and
when you were living through some of that, now that you know your diagnosis, what do
you think you'd say other than saying, hey, you have ADHD?
Other than that or saying, hey, you're neurodivergent, what do you think you would say to yourself?
(34:07):
Oh, you are not as weird as the other kids make you feel.
Yes.
But there are people out there.
People you will find your people one day and you will flourish and come out of your shell.
And you're not alone because I thought I was, I literally grew up going, this is not where
(34:27):
I'm supposed to be.
I am not supposed to be here.
I belong somewhere else because I felt so, so out of place.
Yeah.
I, that's beautiful.
Thank you for sharing that.
That's lovely thought and lovely sentiment for your younger self.
And I got a little bit of chills for that one.
(34:48):
So thanks.
I'm like, not gonna cry.
That's okay.
I asked that on the panel a couple of weeks ago at Rose City Comic Con and somebody burst
into tears.
So that I asked the question too.
So you're not, you're not alone.
It's intended to be that like kind of dig in kind of question.
So thank you for being vulnerable with us and sharing that.
Yeah.
(35:09):
Thank you.
I, yeah.
My birthday was recently and I was like, man, if I could go back and talk to 16 year old
me and just tell her what she's doing right now, she would not believe it at all.
See and that's gorgeous.
Like that's a beautiful thing because you took what, you know, what might have been
a really detrimental thing for your life and you turned it into something absolutely outstandingly
(35:31):
beautiful.
So congratulations.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
So let our listeners know where they can find your books and all the other things to know
about you.
Oh, so I primarily write fantasy and I guess it's romantic now.
I have books, they're available on Amazon and basically wherever books are sold, if
(35:55):
you request them, my website, katalinplat.com.
I have a book series about a time age trapped in a recurring war with a creature bit on
destroying the universe and he just happened to take the man that she loves as his host.
So he's walking around in that guy's body and she tries trying to get him back.
And yeah, it's called, the first book is called The Living God and it's on everywhere, Amazon.
(36:21):
All right.
And I will have links in the show notes for everybody to find you and to find your books.
Thank you so much for coming and talking with us.
Thank you for having me.
This is really interesting conversation to have.
(36:41):
Thank you so much for listening.
Check out Caitlin's novels on Amazon or go to your local bookstore and request a copy.
Follow her on TikTok and Instagram to see some of the amazing character art she's made
for her series.
While you're there, follow this podcast at Divergent Paths Consulting, no spaces, and
subscribe on whatever podcast player you use so you never miss an episode.
(37:05):
Share with your spicy brain friends and anyone who might love someone with a spicy brain.
And until next time, stay spicy.
We happened to be on a trip to London and we went to the Tate Modern Museum and they
(00:07):
had an exhibit where it was a room with just a tower of TVs and radios and every single
one of them were on and playing at the same time.
I was like, did you hear this right now?
Can you understand what any of these things are saying at a given time?
No, that's what the world sounds like to me.
It sounds so loud and everyone's talking at the same time.
(00:29):
Hello and welcome to Divergent Paths.
I'm your host, Dr. Regina McMenemy.
I am a doctor, but not that kind of doctor, and this is a podcast, not medical advice.
(00:50):
Have you always felt a little different but didn't know why?
Have you struggled with tasks that some people seem to handle with ease?
Are you mystified by social norms and interactions?
Divergent Paths is a podcast for late diagnosed neurodivergent people to discuss their journeys
discovering the joys and frustrations of having a spicy brain.
Each episode, I will interview someone who discovered they have ADHD, autism, or a combination
(01:14):
of the two later in life.
What defines a later in life diagnosis?
Anytime the realization happens outside of the quote unquote norm of childhood and adolescence.
Caitlin Platt is a designer, artist, and author.
Her debut novel, The Living God, was published in 2019.
Along with her writing prowess, Caitlin is a talented visual artist as well as a mom.
(01:36):
She shares her story of discovering how her maladaptive daydreaming was related to her
spicy brain and how it is a catalyst for much of her myth making.
So stay tuned and thanks for listening to Divergent Paths.
So our listeners already kind of know you.
At least a little bit of you.
(01:57):
Fantastic.
Because you did the art for the podcast.
Yes, yes I did.
That was a very fun project.
I'm glad.
I remember giving you very loose ideas and not really having like a really clear idea
myself and then being blown over by what you produced for me.
(02:19):
The benefit was I think I went camping like the week before I worked on it and that's
always my reset for the year creatively.
I just go into the woods for a week and I can't like there's no cell service up there.
It's just really just get away from everything.
So it helps me think clearer when I come back.
Yeah, I bet it does.
Actually I think one of the very few things that we know about neurodivergent brains is
(02:46):
that time spent in nature is particularly important to get away from all the stimuli
because of the dopamine drain that we have in just modern life in general.
Yeah, I grew up in Alabama on a farm up until I was like in my mid-20s and then I moved
(03:08):
to New Jersey.
Oh wow.
So like I think a lot of the things that I didn't really notice I was neurodivergent
when I lived on the farm because I was in the middle of the nowhere and I didn't really
have a lot of people to interact with who like to notice the differences.
I just thought I was a weird kid.
I just thought I was a weird kid.
(03:32):
And I think also like I didn't have I wasn't overstimulated because I was in like I didn't
realize I had a problem with crowds or that I would get like too much noise like I can't
handle a lot of sounds.
Yeah.
And I didn't notice that because I lived in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, fascinating.
I lived in a town of 500 people and then I moved to New Jersey and I'm like why is my
(03:57):
brain breaking?
I couldn't handle malls or crowds or yeah I'm better now.
So much better.
Well, I mean, you know, it's a lot of it is just exposure and repeated exposures.
But I lived in the Hudson Valley of New York so I wasn't in Jersey but I was close and
(04:20):
I used to fly out of New York all the time.
And New Jersey has some of the biggest and most overstimulating malls that have ever
existed.
I didn't know malls could be two stories till I moved to New Jersey.
I was like what there's a whole other level to this.
You've got another story.
(04:41):
This is two stories.
Oh my god.
Oh yes.
Yeah, we used to go we used to go sometimes too.
I can't remember the name of the of the mall that we went to but yeah.
It's just a culture I can imagine that the culture shock from Alabama to New Jersey was
just huge in general.
(05:02):
Yes, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
But people ask me if I had power and where I came from.
One way to you I was getting something from CBS and I'm like, I know that's not what you
meant.
You had to mean mean to ask me a different question.
Right.
Yeah.
That's why I was from you know I moved to New York from California and the question
(05:22):
for me was always like, oh, what's it like to surf?
And I was like, I the coast I grew up on is like very rocky and like people don't surf
there because it's like the water is 50 degrees and it's 50 degrees out most of the time.
Not all of California is LA.
So yeah, it's funny the impressions that people have.
(05:44):
Yes, yes.
I think I probably would ask that same question if someone in Calum.
Yeah, what's it like to surf?
What's it like to have sunny days all the time?
And I'm like, I don't know.
Perfect weather all the time, right?
Right.
Exactly.
So the moving so sort of moving away from home and moving to a different state was part
of what like what helped you realize your neurodivergence.
(06:06):
Well, I so I grew up in the middle of nowhere, like I said, and I had my school was kindergarten
through 12th grade 500 students.
I had 30 people in my class.
And I knew that I was I functioned different from most people.
And I spent I didn't know what I did growing up was called maladaptive daydreaming.
(06:31):
I basically lived in my head.
And I just I knew it was different.
And I was the weird kid.
My sister did not claim me as her sister.
People are like, it's a small town and people still didn't know that we were sisters until
(06:53):
I graduated and she came to my graduation.
That's how on the low she wanted to be separated from me.
Wow.
But yeah, and I I just thought I didn't I had no other explanation for other the fact
that I like to live in my head and I like to read and I like to see and yeah, and I
(07:14):
didn't understand.
I didn't understand I might have ADHD, ADHD until I met a person who also has it.
And I was like, I was like noticing that we had very similar hang ups, I guess.
I don't know what you call them.
Yeah.
I mean, that would have been how you thought about it at that time.
(07:36):
You might think of it differently now.
Yeah.
And and I was like, you know what?
I think I might have that.
And he goes, oh, yes, totally.
Please go find someone to diagnose you, which I have not officially done yet.
Unfortunately, I have a lot of autoimmune issues and those have taken all the time and
(08:01):
the doctor for those things.
Because like I might have lupus and they don't know if I have lupus.
I'm constantly getting my blood work done and doing all of these scans.
So it was just like I don't I didn't want to go to my doctor with another thing digitally
wrong with me.
So I have self diagnosed at this point, which is probably not the best thing to do help
(08:24):
for health wise.
But I do plan on getting a formal diagnosis.
Yeah.
It's it's it's a it's a journey getting a formal diagnosis, getting someplace that can
give you the diagnosis, trying to get your insurance cover diagnosis.
I have a friend who recently got diagnosis and diagnosed and she is actually considering
(08:45):
going for an autistic odd ADHD because she's noticing that a lot of her.
The things that she does overlap with autism.
So like sound sensitivity and things like that.
Yeah, that's what the assessment that I took was for both.
(09:06):
But I think I outsmarted most of the autism test.
I hadn't come back.
I didn't come back.
There were four tests that they could give and of three of them, I had been negative
and so or negative, not showing indications of autism.
And then I didn't take the I opted at that point not to take the long two hour, two hundred
(09:29):
question assessment.
Oh, I wouldn't.
Yeah.
I just want to stop now.
At that point, I had been in testing for five hours.
Oh, wow.
No, of course.
Yeah.
And it was going to be another two hours.
And I'm like, we can just be done right now.
And then when I got my feedback, he's like, the more I talk to you, the more autistic
you seem.
So I was like, well, that's an interesting observation.
(09:52):
Now that my ADHD is medicated, my autism is like, hi, how you been?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because she she started medication for ADHD and it's like, oh, functioning better now
and I'm starting to notice these.
Yes.
Yes.
I think it's a very common experience, especially I think for female identified or assigned
(10:17):
female birth bodies, because our presentation tends to be so different from what was originally
studied and considered for ADHD.
So I think a lot of times, especially or maybe especially for autism, I think, because I
just saw a TikTok that was like, oh, back in the 90s, they didn't think girls could
(10:37):
have autism.
It's like, yeah, that's because they only study boys.
I mean, yeah.
That's unfortunate.
Yeah.
And that's why so many women I think are getting their diagnosis, especially like much later
in life and like social media has a tendency to make things seem like a trend.
(10:58):
But no, it's just people are becoming more informed and they're like, hey, I think I
have this.
And then they're finding out that they actually do.
Yeah, exactly.
I know.
We I know there have been some things like I've seen a few posts of people on some of
my social media that go along the lines of what does everybody have ADHD now?
And it's like, well, you know, we tend to find each other.
(11:22):
Yeah, exactly.
Hey, your brain functions like my brain.
Can we be friends because they don't get this, right?
And you're not as likely to seek out connections with people who don't have that kind of functioning.
So like for that, too, I think that that well, everybody does that.
Well, no.
Yeah, that was like I was like, I thought everybody did the day.
(11:46):
The maladaptive daydreaming.
I thought people daydreamed like I did, like I like just just tune out like the whole world
just disappears and I'm inside a movie in my head.
And I thought that was how people daydreamed.
And apparently they don't.
And so what did you kind of realize that that was different?
Very recently, I read up on it and I was just like, oh, that's what I've been doing all
(12:14):
my life.
And I thought everyone tuned out the entire world to the point of not hearing, not seeing
and just seeing what's going on in my head.
And yeah, and I was like, oh, well, that's I guess how I write books because I was that's
exactly where I was going to go.
So you're an author and you know, you don't just do graphic design, you do art and you
(12:39):
write as well.
And so is that where like are your novels and your stories that inner daydreaming on
the page?
Yeah, that's what I like the series that I'm closing out started.
I basically wrote it in my head while I should have been doing algebra.
(13:01):
And then in college, I was like, well, what happens if I write it down on paper?
So I just started transcribing my daydreams basically.
And now I'm for four books and the fourth book comes out next year.
I have another book that came out in August, a different series.
And it's just the I enjoy taking my daydreams and putting them on paper.
(13:25):
But sometimes they like I'm not always daydreaming about fantastical things.
Unfortunately, sometimes my daydreams are awful because my brain goes on the anxiety
train.
It's like, hey, what if we went off this bridge right now?
And you unbuckle your child in time right before you drown like that's awful.
But that's what my brain will do.
And it'll hyper fixate on that.
(13:47):
And I'll spend the next hour of a car ride and not remembering how I got where I'm going.
I end up where I'm going.
But I spent the entire time problem solving how to get my daughter out of the car seat
if we go off a bridge.
Right.
It's just awful.
Oh, I feel I feel you on on very deeply on that.
Yeah.
I have had very many of those similar types of intrusive thoughts that that they kind
(14:13):
of spiral or snowball on each other where I can get on on a thread.
And then it's the ADHD kicks in and it's every option of everything that could happen in
that scenario.
And then my anxiety demands that I follow the worst case scenario path.
(14:34):
Right.
And I'm just in that like, OK, this is the worst thing that could happen in a situation.
And this is where I live now.
Yeah.
And that's how my brain works.
Very similarly.
It's always been and it does it with everything, even tiny things.
It's like, OK, here are the possible branches of things that will happen.
(14:54):
Narrow it down to the most likely ones.
And it does that for everything from walking to the car.
Like my husband, he's like, you cannot do anything.
It has to be streamlined.
It has to be like the shortest way to this point.
There is no backtracking.
There's no divergent, like going a different path, because it's just how I have to function.
(15:17):
And it drives him a little crazy.
Because I'm like, no, it has to be this way.
Right.
That's my brain's narrowed it down that this is the path that will work.
It's the most likely to succeed.
We have to do it.
We have to do it this way.
Yeah.
Do you think that he is neurodivergent as well or?
He has OCD.
So it's not like the cleanliness.
(15:40):
It's like if I don't line up something like he likes it lined up, he'll come behind me
and line it up.
My house is very clean because it's not like the obsession of germs type of thing.
But he needs to be clean, organized.
So he has a touch of that, and I think he might have a touch of ADHD too.
(16:02):
But I don't know.
He hasn't been diagnosed either.
No.
And like I said, I don't-
But he does have the OCD part because he gets it from his mom.
I mean, ADHD runs in families.
Autism runs in families.
So now that I've noticed it myself, I noticed it in my mom.
(16:24):
I grew up in a house of projects that were never finished.
Like the floor is ripped up, but we haven't put down a new floor.
We've got one wall painted, but we haven't painted the rest of the room.
We've got a hutch that has paint on one side, but not paint on the other side.
And I never realized, I didn't understand that's what she was doing or that's what was
(16:45):
affecting her until now.
And now I'm like, Mom, I think you-
I got it.
Yeah.
Like you're the source.
I figured it out.
You start connecting dots when you realize, when you understand, you're just like, okay.
Yeah, absolutely.
This is where all of this comes from.
(17:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, absolutely.
I did the exact same thing with my family as well, where I can go back now and understand
that my mom's desire to redecorate the house.
And my mom didn't do just new fabrics.
(17:28):
My mom was like, well, let's move this wall and let's take this wall down and let's put
a wall up here.
And these were big design choices.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So now I understand more that need and that drive for change and all that was driven by
(17:50):
her divergence as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For me, it was a very reassuring thing to recognize that it wasn't just me and my family
because I have a similar story to yours.
I don't think it was maladaptive daydreaming necessarily as much as it was just, I would
just immerse myself in books and I would read and I would dissociate and I would be hard
(18:13):
to interrupt and we'd get hyper-focused on all that.
And now I know that that was a maladaptive behavior to the anxiety because it was easy
to the anxiety caused by the ADHD, autism.
It's easy to focus on that story.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I read when I figured out the maladaptive daydreaming, I read it was like it can be
(18:36):
brought on as a coping mechanism for trauma.
Trauma.
I grew up, like I love both my parents, but when I was growing up, they were both alcoholics
and they fought violently until I was probably 10 when my dad, he had a stroke and the doctor
was like, you can either quit drinking and smoking or you can die in a few years.
(18:56):
And so he quit.
But I think I started doing it because they would be fighting and I would go into this
fantasy world that I created.
That was just like, now I couldn't escape.
I was like seven.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can't get out of it.
Yeah.
(19:17):
So I connected those dots and I'm like, oh, that's so interesting.
But it was also a problem because I did very poorly in anything that wasn't reading or
writing or didn't involve a book.
I had problems at school.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm a similar similar experiences.
I didn't excel in math.
(19:38):
I could handle history and some social science, all of those things, because they had the
I've joked that one of the reasons why I don't test for autism necessarily is because one
of my special interests is just people.
And some people have said, well, that's just an adaptive behavior when you are autistic
and you're trying to understand the environment.
(20:00):
But like having relationships and having connections with people have always been kind of a priority
for me.
And a lot of the autism questions are like, you have trouble trouble starting relationships.
And it's like, nope, don't actually.
I might have trouble maintaining them sometimes because if people don't understand the way
the spicy brains work.
(20:21):
Yeah.
Now, the they say object permanence, people will talk about object permanence, but that's
not really what it is.
Like you just kind of I just kind of forget that people exist sometimes.
It's not malicious necessarily.
It's just I. Yeah, it's.
And that is my mom and I do it.
(20:41):
We're terrible at keeping up with each other because I forget to call.
We'll reach out like I love my mother.
But yeah, we'll go months without like we'll text every now and then.
But we haven't called each other and we do it to each other.
And it's just it's not that I love her any less.
It's that day like time.
(21:02):
I forget how long it's been since I taught last.
Or it's I feel bad about it.
And I'm bad at keeping up with friendships because I'm I think people expect you to reach
out and I'm not a reach out person.
That's just.
It's terrible.
It's not terrible.
It's probably also part of the adaptive behaviors that you've you've developed to where it's
(21:28):
it's safer to not put yourself out there sometimes.
And I have found before I knew that that the.
That my forgetfulness, that my that my memory, my bad memory is an isn't a moral failing.
Right.
And it took a long time to get to that.
(21:50):
My bad memory is not a moral failing.
It's based right where I have been judged and persecuted and held responsible sometimes
for things that I didn't intend to forget that I didn't mean to forget.
Like I don't you know, it just I just don't have the memory capacity.
My brain doesn't work that way.
(22:11):
That's one of the big pieces that's missing.
But when when you have that like forgetfulness, it becomes even harder to like continue to
reach out to people because you're like, are they mad?
Like and sometimes they are mad.
And sometimes you have like fallen short and they've told a story or created a narrative
around you dropping off the planet that has literally nothing to do with you dropping
(22:31):
off the planet.
But they become committed to that.
And there ends up being like risk and fear and all kinds of like bad feelings that get
involved in it.
So just not reaching out ends up being a little easier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then once you've realized you've gone so long, you're like, I don't want to reach
out now because it's been.
It's been two months and I was I read your text message and I never texted you back.
(22:55):
Yeah.
And sometimes I won't even know.
I won't even notice or realize.
And then I'll have some event that's like, oh, I should tell so and so about this.
And then I go and look and I'm like, oh, my God, I haven't responded to this message
for so long.
Oh, my goodness.
What am I supposed to do with this now?
And now I'm just I just flat out apologize.
And I'm like, I didn't forget to do this because it didn't mean something.
(23:19):
I'm sorry you missed it.
I'm sorry you didn't respond.
Whatever.
I just.
Yeah, I've just basically been like, hi, I read this and then I forgot to reply.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm like, just tell the truth because that ends up being easier.
I know that my husband, he because he tells me things like to take out the garbage or
(23:40):
something like something.
He'll give me a task.
Right.
And then I don't do the task because I forgot the task.
So we're still working.
We're still working through that one.
That and he I have an auditory processing issue, I think, because if he has to like
(24:01):
be like stop anything that I'm doing or the TV or something and talk to me because I will
not I just won't hear him.
Right.
And and I think it frustrates him a little bit.
He'll be like, I was I told you this or like I thought I was talking to you.
I was just talking to you like we were you were looking at me and my mouth was moving
(24:21):
and we were having a conversation and I was like, I didn't hear you because there's a
beep over there.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have always before I knew that it was ADHD, I described it as I am incapable of having
two verbal pathways and enter my brain at the same time.
(24:44):
So I knew for years that I couldn't I couldn't write and listen to music because I would
automatically transcribe the words.
Yeah.
I can't do anything with vocals.
I can do instrumental music.
Fine.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Somebody told me somebody somebody gave me this.
They said the Bridgerton soundtrack is really fun for writing.
You write romance.
(25:04):
It might be fun to listen to because it's all like pop songs with.
That's what I think I was the only high schooler whose favorite band band was like Hans Zimmer.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
That's the kid who's collected soundtrack CDs instead of rock.
(25:27):
I mean, you know, it makes sense.
It makes sense.
But yeah, the auditory processing can be particularly frustrating.
In the recent episode, I was talking about how I will not realize that I've heard something
and somebody will be speaking to me and I'll say, huh, and they'll start to repeat it.
And then my brain will click in and hear the first time even though they're in the middle
(25:50):
of repeating it.
And then I answer as they're repeating themselves and people get mad.
And it's like, I'm not doing it on purpose.
Like it's just takes my brain sometimes a second to catch up.
So some of my close.
Like that apart the information.
And because you're not just taking in the words, right?
I'm never just taking in one thing.
(26:11):
It's that the beep.
It's the car.
It's the alarm that went off down the street.
It's oh my God, there's a fan on it.
You know, whatever else the light changed.
It could be anything.
I'm taking in so much information that that the stream of words is one piece of all of
this and my brain doesn't have the capacity to pick out what's important.
(26:33):
No I that I tried explaining it to him once and to my husband.
And the best thing for it was we we happened to be on a trip to London and we went to the
Tate Modern Museum and they had a an exhibit where it was a room with just a tower of TVs
and radios.
(26:53):
And it was like 20 feet high and six feet wide.
And they were all on the radio and the TV.
Every single one of them were on and playing at the same time.
And I was like, this is what the world sounds like to me.
I was like, did you hear this right now?
Can you understand what any of these things are saying at a given time?
(27:14):
No, that's what the world sounds like.
It's so loud and everyone's talking at the same time.
Yes, exactly.
Every moment of every day has all of this noise.
I can tell you that the ADHD medication does help with that.
It does make things a little bit less.
(27:36):
I'm definitely going to reach out to my doctor and just I was afraid of feeling like a hypochondriac
because I've got celiac disease and they think I have lupus and I've got all of these other
autoimmune possibilities because I did the test and when you have one autoimmune, you
have probably more than one.
(27:58):
Several others.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Your immune system just like a switch flips and it's like, hi.
Hi.
We hate your entire environment.
You're no longer allowed to eat bread.
I'm sorry.
That's hard.
I miss bread.
So for the last few years, I have to go to the dermatologist every three months.
(28:24):
I was going to a rheumatologist every three months and I'm getting blood drawn and I was
just like, I know this is an issue that I am not or something that I should discuss
with her and get formal diagnosis because I think I would function better if I had help.
Right.
I don't want to add another living to the list of problems that I already have.
(28:49):
Yeah.
I did something similar.
I was going through premenopause and I had to deal with my hormones before I dealt with
ADHD.
Yeah.
You have to have priorities sometimes.
There are certain things that need to take precedence.
So all that makes sense.
I'm going to put my big girl pants on and get it done very soon though because I can
(29:12):
see how it's helped.
The guy that I'm friends with through my husband who was like, oh yeah, you totally have it.
You need to go speak to someone and then my best friend recently got diagnosed and I'm
like, okay, I need to stop being afraid of this and just go get it done.
I think it would be valuable for you.
(29:35):
So what has the response been?
How have you talked to your mom about this and have you shared your diagnosis?
I've talked to her about it, but she's very old school southern lady.
And just like, yeah, that's how I function.
That makes sense.
(29:55):
But she's not into going and getting a diagnosis.
She's like, I'm 64 years old, so this is who I am.
Right.
I live in this house with everything half painted.
This is just my reality.
(30:17):
Sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, and I can respect that too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you had a conversation with your sister?
No, my sister is very...
She I think made it out of... her brain seems to function, I think, on a neurotypical level.
(30:42):
But we've never discussed our ailments.
Our not ailments, but we've never discussed things that are wrong with us.
We have a very interesting relationship.
We weren't really close until I moved out of my house.
And now we're close.
We have daughters that are two years apart, but we're still on that not close enough to
(31:08):
talk about health.
Right.
Unless it's like, hi, I'm critically ill.
It's just not on a comfortable level.
We've never been very comfortable talking to each other about the things that are wrong
with us.
And I think that has a lot to do with the fact we were the adults growing up in our
(31:31):
family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, that's a lot to unpack.
There is a lot to unpack there.
I have a fair amount of that in my history as well.
So I understand, especially for daughters, I think, their responsibilities that end up
when you're in a not functioning household.
(31:53):
I don't want to say dysfunctional because that word is kind of loaded with a bunch of
other things.
But when you're in a household that's being impacted by any kind of addiction, the kids
end up being the ones taking care of things.
I definitely had a fair amount of that happening.
So yeah, I can make it complicated.
(32:15):
Yeah.
So we kind of grew up as roommates or not even roommates, kind of like co-workers.
Because we were like, we're here together to work on this problem together.
Kind of like a formal separation that way.
Yeah.
(32:35):
There wasn't a lot of sisterly bonding that we got to do.
If we weren't at school, we were working on a farm or we were dealing with the issues
within our family.
Right.
Yeah.
So that takes a lot of strength, you and your sister are both very strong to have come out
(32:57):
of that and flourished because it's not easy.
It isn't, no.
Especially if you are fighting against an invisible disability that nobody knows that
you have.
Yeah.
In high school, I just remember my parents, they were so confused about what was going
on with me.
Because I was living, like I said, living in my head and I would pretend to sleep so
(33:22):
I could live in my head.
And they were like, are you on drugs?
You're tired all the time.
I'm like, no, I just want to stay in the daydream because that's where I'm happier.
Right.
Yeah.
This reality that I have made up for myself is so much happier than where I'm actually
living.
I would rather be there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, that's fair.
And that is a survival mechanism.
(33:45):
So that makes sense.
If you had a chance to go back and sort of talk to yourself when you were that age and
when you were living through some of that, now that you know your diagnosis, what do
you think you'd say other than saying, hey, you have ADHD?
Other than that or saying, hey, you're neurodivergent, what do you think you would say to yourself?
(34:07):
Oh, you are not as weird as the other kids make you feel.
Yes.
But there are people out there.
People you will find your people one day and you will flourish and come out of your shell.
And you're not alone because I thought I was, I literally grew up going, this is not where
(34:27):
I'm supposed to be.
I am not supposed to be here.
I belong somewhere else because I felt so, so out of place.
Yeah.
I, that's beautiful.
Thank you for sharing that.
That's lovely thought and lovely sentiment for your younger self.
And I got a little bit of chills for that one.
(34:48):
So thanks.
I'm like, not gonna cry.
That's okay.
I asked that on the panel a couple of weeks ago at Rose City Comic Con and somebody burst
into tears.
So that I asked the question too.
So you're not, you're not alone.
It's intended to be that like kind of dig in kind of question.
So thank you for being vulnerable with us and sharing that.
Yeah.
(35:09):
Thank you.
I, yeah.
My birthday was recently and I was like, man, if I could go back and talk to 16 year old
me and just tell her what she's doing right now, she would not believe it at all.
See and that's gorgeous.
Like that's a beautiful thing because you took what, you know, what might have been
a really detrimental thing for your life and you turned it into something absolutely outstandingly
(35:31):
beautiful.
So congratulations.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
So let our listeners know where they can find your books and all the other things to know
about you.
Oh, so I primarily write fantasy and I guess it's romantic now.
I have books, they're available on Amazon and basically wherever books are sold, if
(35:55):
you request them, my website, katalinplat.com.
I have a book series about a time age trapped in a recurring war with a creature bit on
destroying the universe and he just happened to take the man that she loves as his host.
So he's walking around in that guy's body and she tries trying to get him back.
And yeah, it's called, the first book is called The Living God and it's on everywhere, Amazon.
(36:21):
All right.
And I will have links in the show notes for everybody to find you and to find your books.
Thank you so much for coming and talking with us.
Thank you for having me.
This is really interesting conversation to have.
(36:41):
Thank you so much for listening.
Check out Caitlin's novels on Amazon or go to your local bookstore and request a copy.
Follow her on TikTok and Instagram to see some of the amazing character art she's made
for her series.
While you're there, follow this podcast at Divergent Paths Consulting, no spaces, and
subscribe on whatever podcast player you use so you never miss an episode.
(37:05):
Share with your spicy brain friends and anyone who might love someone with a spicy brain.
And until next time, stay spicy.
Popular Podcasts
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.