September 6, 2024 • 42 mins
In this inaugural episode of Divergent Paths, host Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. shares her personal journey of discovering her neurodivergent identity later in life. Reflecting on her ADHD diagnosis, Regina discusses how it has reshaped her understanding of past challenges and family dynamics. Joined by her longtime friend Russ, they reminisce about their teenage years and how those experiences tie into Regina's story. Listeners are introduced to Regina’s background in academia, her evolution from video gaming to board games, and the life changes that guided her to start this podcast. This episode offers an intimate look at the highs and lows of navigating a late diagnosis and sets the stage for future conversations with others on similar paths.
About Regina McMenomy Ph.D.
Host of the Divergent Paths Podcast | ADHD & Neurodiversity Advocate | Founder, Divergent Paths Consulting
Welcome to Divergent Paths, a podcast dedicated to exploring life, work, and creativity through the lens of neurodiversity. Hosted by Regina, founder of Divergent Paths Consulting, the show delves into the experiences of individuals navigating ADHD and other invisible disabilities. As someone who received a late ADHD diagnosis, Regina brings personal insights and professional expertise to each episode, helping listeners find new ways to thrive in a neurotypical world.
With over 20 years of experience in instructional design, project management, and coaching, Regina is passionate about creating inclusive spaces where neurodiverse individuals can succeed. Through this podcast, Regina shares conversations with experts, professionals, and everyday people, offering tips, strategies, and stories of empowerment.
Tune in to learn how to embrace neurodivergence, redefine success, and chart your own path forward.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What's been really great has been being able to look back at difficult times in my life
(00:09):
and start to recognize, oh, I was struggling then with this because of the ADHD and I've
been able to look at my family history and look at my family and recognize that ADHD is
genetic.
So it is very likely that I come from a neuro-spicy family.
(00:40):
Hello and welcome to Divergent Paths.
I'm your host, Dr. Regina McMenomy.
I am a doctor, but not that kind of doctor.
And this is a podcast, not medical advice.
Have you always felt a little different, but didn't know why?
Have you struggled with tasks that some people seem to handle with ease?
Are you sometimes mystified by social norms and interactions with other people?
(01:06):
Divergent Paths is a podcast for late diagnosed neurodivergent people to discuss their journeys
discovering the joys and frustrations of having a spicy brain.
Each episode, I will interview someone who discovered they have ADHD, autism, or a combination
of the two later in life.
What defines a later in life diagnosis?
(01:26):
Any time the realization happens outside of the quote unquote norm of childhood and adolescence.
For this episode, as the first episode, my longtime friend Russ interviews me about my
own diagnosis.
So stay tuned to learn about my awkward journey.
And thanks for listening to Divergent Paths.
(01:47):
Have you given history of us?
We've known each other since forever ago.
We have known each other since forever ago.
Did you mention original cookie in the open?
I don't think I did mention original cookie in the open.
We can talk about it, though.
Russ and I met at our very first job in the mall when we were teenagers.
(02:11):
And you wanted to fire me.
I did.
That's how it goes.
And you crushed a sugar cookie and put it down my shirt one day when we were fighting.
This was before HR existed.
This was long ago.
And this was when they let two 16-year-olds run the whole store.
(02:36):
Right.
Which in hindsight, probably wasn't the best idea.
It was just the two of us.
It was not wise.
I don't know what they were thinking.
But hey, whatever.
I mean, it's survived.
It's not there anymore.
And the whole mall is going to be demolished.
But yes, yes.
(02:57):
So okay, I know, I know I feel like everything about you or at least almost everything about
you.
Yes.
But the listeners do not.
So tell us a little about yourself.
All right.
Well, let's see.
I am an academic.
I have a PhD in American studies.
And I studied gender and video games.
(03:19):
And you may be coming to this podcast having checked out my previous podcast, which was
called Game on Girl, which was based on my dissertation research.
And I did that podcast for many years.
There are many episodes.
And they're all still available if you're interested in going back into that.
And that was where really my love of podcasting came from launching that show.
(03:42):
And the reason why I launched that show was because when I finished my PhD, I decided I
didn't want to be an academic in a traditional sense anymore.
But I still wanted to have conversations about the research that I had done and the sort
of identity conversations that had started through my research.
(04:09):
And that was kind of where I started podcasting.
I just decided that the conversations were valuable and I wanted to have a bigger audience
than I would have if I took a traditional academic path.
Because when you take an academic path, you spend a lot of your time talking to other
academics.
Right.
(04:30):
Right.
And I felt like what I had to say was really more important than a conversation that would
have happened with 50 to 100 people across the world.
I wanted it to have a bigger impact.
And so that's how Game on Girl was born.
And I've kind of evolved away from gaming as a core part of my identity.
(04:51):
At the time I was writing the dissertation, I was playing World of Warcraft.
And that's what inspired me to pursue that topic.
And I had always been a video gamer.
I'm trying to remember if we ever played video games together.
I don't think we did.
We didn't do a lot of video games in high schools, I remember.
We did like plenty of board games.
We did lots of board games, yes.
(05:12):
And that's what I play now more than anything.
I have a rather extensive collection of board games.
I generally am traveling with a handful of board games everywhere I go.
And that's more where my focus is.
Why do you think that changed?
I think part of it was the dissertation, honestly, and doing the podcast and having
(05:35):
that focus last for so long, so intensely.
I think that I just kind of moved into a space where it just became a little bit too much
work and not as much play.
I had to keep up on game releases and people were always asking me questions about it.
And there's so much to know about video games and so many different games that I just never
(05:59):
really played that it just became something that wasn't an interest for me to keep up
with.
So in some of the language that I would use to talk about it now is my hyper focus on
video games ended.
Part of that was life.
Part of it was dissertation and topic and having talked about it for so long.
(06:22):
But I became a mom and sitting at my computer became harder when I was a mom for hours
on end.
Board games are a lot more accessible to small humans.
And so that kind of pivoted in that direction because that could be an activity that I could
still game and enjoy that with my daughter.
(06:47):
And I also changed jobs as well in all of this.
I have had all these major life changes.
And when I started working at my desk 40 hours a week sitting at my desk playing games exactly
for leisure time didn't didn't really have the same appeal anymore.
(07:07):
So I just kind of slowly moved away from it.
Like I think the last thing I had done that was big as I got like one of the expansions
for World of Warcraft thinking I was going to go back in and play again and to really
seriously play those games is such a time commitment.
Totally.
Totally.
I mean like I you know I I enjoy Minecraft like just building up in Minecraft.
(07:32):
But it takes forever.
And so sometimes it's like I'll start it and then it's like OK I got to put this away.
I got to stop.
Yeah.
I just you know get so so into it.
I don't know if I would call it hyper focus.
No.
I do feel like it's like oh it's like this need for you know getting it done this like
a compliment thing where it's like I've got to get to the end of it.
(07:54):
Right.
When you just said hyper focus and I was thinking about like what you were talking about about
changing your career and you know doing the academic thing and then yeah you know OK well
that changed and there's something else there.
I think about you know I host the business podcast and there's so many people that I've
talked to that are hyper focused on their business.
(08:15):
Right.
Are they hyper focused or are they super goal oriented to get the thing done.
How do you differentiate things.
Oh that's a good question.
I mean the first thing I'm going to say is are they neuro spicy like.
Oh no.
OK.
What is neuro spicy.
I need to get into that.
(08:37):
So if they have a neuro divergence if they have ADHD or autism or something along the
line so it makes their brain work differently.
That is a different thing than being goal oriented and when you have a brain that allows
you to focus for extended periods of time to to your physical detriment.
(09:00):
So I would ask you like when you're playing Minecraft and you're in that space.
Do you forget to eat.
I don't.
OK.
Then that's not hyper focused.
I'm usually eating while I'm doing well I mean maybe then that isn't I don't know like
I will if I get caught up if I am in a project if I'm writing in particular if I'm writing
(09:23):
and I get in the zone and I am producing words I will forget all other bodily functions
all other things I need to do to care for myself I just get to a place where that's
all I see and that can happen anywhere.
I hyper focused on cleaning last week and I like cleans like a good portion of my house
(09:46):
because that's just where my hyper focus went had music on in my AirPods and just you know
went forward and cleaned and that comes from from my ADHD.
Right.
I feel like in a way that can be a superpower.
(10:07):
The hyper focused right.
Like you you can take on a task and just like yeah.
Drive it.
Right.
And just just go for it.
It's like flying.
You know it's like the expressway.
Do you ever look at it like a superpower.
I look at it as a very unique talent.
I don't I don't really like the idea of a superpower because I can't always control
(10:30):
it like that's the day that I cleaned the house.
I didn't decide that that was going to be the hyper focus for that day and I don't have
a lot of control over it.
I can sometimes set myself up with rituals that will get me into a space where I can
(10:52):
I can access it but it's not a switch that I can turn on and off and that that's why
like if you want to use the metaphor of flying superheroes that fly can just jump off the
ground and fly right like anytime they want to but I can't always jump off the ground
and hyper focus on what I want to hyper focus on.
(11:13):
Gotcha.
And that that makes it that's where it starts to come into me understanding it more as as
it is an amazing ability and and when I can put it where it needs to be and where I need
it to be it's a beautiful thing but the rest of the time it is a struggle.
(11:33):
When did you first like suspect that you were well I'll use your your neuro spicy term.
Yes.
Yeah.
I started to suspect I was neuro spicy probably about five or six years ago and it was really
kind of funny because it was a very indirect route for me to take I had some friends who
(11:56):
started posting memes about ADHD and I'm like oh that's funny I do that you know but that's
not that doesn't mean I have ADHD you know that's funny I don't you know but I don't
have ADHD because I wrote a dissertation I can focus with no problem like I have I focus
(12:16):
all the time I wrote a book I have multiple college degrees I you know can do all of these
things you know so I just didn't at first I was like this is weird like why am I resonating
with this right and then dismissed it you know this can't be who I am and then and then
(12:37):
I joined tiktok.
Oh right the tiktok algorithm was very sure that I had ADHD.
Really?
Yes.
Okay.
And I started getting presented video after video after video of you know things that ADHD
people do that are not necessarily like that are not neurotypical you know just like some
(13:03):
of these things and I started going wait wait what.
Right.
Yes.
Probably I'm going to say tiktok is probably not the best official diagnosis.
Tiktok is not an official diagnosis and in addition this is not this this conversation
is not a not a place of diagnosis I am not that kind of doctor I cannot look at the spot
(13:27):
on your leg and tell you anything about it.
I can help you talk about your identity and how you formed it and what it means but you
know those are not the same things.
So what do you do if you start to suspect and somebody that's listening to this podcast
is probably thinking like oh well I have this trait.
Right.
(13:48):
How do you get or when did actually let's let's talk about your official diagnosis.
My official diagnosis.
Yeah.
Did you get one?
I did get an official diagnosis yes.
Okay.
I did pursue that after it's only been it's been a year just over a year since I got my
official diagnosis and part of my process was learning that ADHD presents differently
(14:13):
in assigned female birth bodies so it doesn't look the same and much of the research that
has been done has been done on assigned male at birth bodies so the physical hyperactivity
because I was one of the I don't have ADHD I can sit still but because the research was
done on some yeah.
(14:35):
Exactly.
So so I do not have physical manifestations of ADHD I don't I can sit still I don't have
my feet I don't like my hyperactivity is all internal it's all in my mind and I ended up
reading a book called Divergent Minds and I probably should have looked the author's
name up but I'll have it in the show notes and I read that book and it was talking about
(15:00):
how autism and ADHD present differently in assigned female birth bodies and that is
a big piece of that is the way the hyperactivity is internalized so it is a completely internal
process.
What's I guess what's the steps towards the diagnosis like what did you do?
(15:22):
What did I do to get the official diagnosis?
Yeah like what is it a test is it like yeah okay.
Yeah so it so I I would like to acknowledge my absolute privilege in this process at the
time I decided to seek out the the diagnosis I had absolutely outstanding medical insurance
(15:49):
and so I was able to I didn't have to go to my primary care doctor to get a referral for
the testing which is a process that people often have to do because I had insurance or
I could pick my providers so I was able just to find an organization there's an office
in my town that does nothing but this kind of assessment that's all their office does
(16:17):
and I was able to find them I was able to you know book an appointment I was able to
pay a nominal copayment for what turned out to be three different appointments so the
first appointment I went in and I met with the person who would be administering the
test and they have kind of a battery of initial consultation questions so that they can suss
(16:42):
out if you are showing signs of the neurodivergence.
So you know it was questions like do you lose your car keys a lot and my answer to that
was no and then she backed up and said well is that because you have a system to keep
(17:04):
track of where your car keys are do you have a system in place so you don't lose your car
keys and I said yes I do I also have a system in place so I don't misplace my phone I have
a system in place so that I know where my purse is at all times like you know there
are things that are you know I was already accommodating my ADHD without knowing that
(17:31):
that's what I was doing and I had done that a lot so the initial consultation was you
know kind of this battery of tests it asked questions about my childhood leaning back
to because that's one of the criteria is that this is something that you also had in your
childhood and was something that you you know kind of evolved with.
(17:55):
It's funny how you mentioned the symptom thing of like you just sort of made up for it you
know you sort of just you know it's like somebody like with a you know with like a physical
symptom of like oh well it hurts when I get when I stand up and I do this right so I just
don't do that anymore exactly it doesn't mean you're getting rid of the problem it just
means you're you know putting it's a duct tape solution in a way.
(18:18):
It is it is and that's what that's what I think the majority of people who go on diagnosed
do they you know or don't do or can't do like right I was very capable of somehow figuring
out how to amend my disability with this because I was able to to build structures to figure
(18:39):
out ways to trick myself to gamify things you know I gamified my dissertation I you know
gave myself rewards at certain points and I use what's called the Pomodoro method where
you work for 25 minutes and then take a five minute break and you know talked about my
dissertation as making salsa because I was smashing tomatoes and that's you know and
(19:03):
it gave me it made it fun like it and then an engaged part of that that ADHD brain.
I'd also say and I want to get back to the I don't want to lose track of finishing the
story of getting the official diagnosis because this is ADHD at the finest right here.
I did that one that was me.
(19:26):
Right so like like being able to do that is also you know it does it doesn't work for
everybody like not everybody who has ADHD has the capacity to kind of figure out how to
manipulate it when they don't when they don't know what's going on right so so yeah I read
(19:47):
the book I did the initial consultation I went back in for both testing for autism and ADHD
because if you don't know they are very closely related to each other and I was in my initial
consult showing things that might have proven out to be autism as well.
(20:11):
The schedule for the testing is six hours long or was at least for me it's a six hour
long series of tests that you take so essentially you clear out an entire day it took a couple
months to be able to schedule it because like you know they have a lot of people wanting
these and it's a long process and with you're not supposed to have any caffeine the day
(20:37):
that you you go in for the test because you were supposed to go in with no no stems no
stimulants so right so you're not supposed to have any caffeine and then you go in and
you take the the battery of tests and and it was very extensive their tests for executive
functioning like how you make decisions there's tests for working memory so how you hold things
(21:02):
in your memory and that was that was for me that was an uncomfortable test because it was
partially she would tell me a series of numbers and I would have to repeat the numbers and
at first you just repeat them in what order she told them to me but then it was repeat
them in ascending order and then repeat them in descending order and so you had to remember
(21:26):
the numbers and reorganize them it was hard yeah there was also a test for like knowing
definitions of words which I went through and I think there was one word that I didn't
actually know the dictionary definition of just one of like 30 words so yeah and there
(21:51):
were tests with blocks where I had to put the blocks into the pattern that was on a
piece of paper like like manipulate them to to make them the thing and it was funny because
when I finished it especially that one I wanted to do it again because I knew if I did it
again I would I would ace it like right because I was laying the pathways and I knew once the
(22:14):
pathways were there it's like every time I play a new board game I want to play it twice
immediately like I want to play it once and I want to play it again immediately after because
I know that like by the end of the game things have clicked into place that weren't there
in the beginning right right you feel like you figured it out right now let me now let
me show you I can really do but that's not how these tests work exciting it right so
(22:38):
at the we were at about four hours I had done all the ADHD tests and had done two of three
autism tests and the last two hours was very extensive autism test and she said currently
you're not testing you're not showing positive for autism so I will let you choose like do
(22:59):
you want to do this test or do you want to skip this and I said well for we're currently
showing no on this let's just not do it for now and let's go back to that game so I can
finish it right exactly I can play it properly now right so from there she took my testing
(23:21):
and then presented it to three psychologists who then conferred on my results and wrote
up a report for me and then I went back in for an hour long conversation with one of
the psychologists to get the results of my my assessment and question on that so I mean
(23:44):
I'm assuming you know there's various details that we'll get into but is it like are they
ranking this is it like a scored kind of yeah you know you're this it's a diagnosis ADHD
score yes you are 90% or whatever it is yeah so there's an overall diagnosis that you get
(24:06):
there are three main types of diagnosed diagnostic outcomes you can have when you go through the
process there is hyperactive ADHD there's inattentive ADHD and then there's combined
which is when you have both inattentive and hyperactive and I have the combined type so
(24:30):
I have both inattentive and hyperactive ADHD and I don't remember all of the different
criteria but there is in the results and the report that I got there's a table that shows
where my more my flags are like where my more my big problems are and at the top or issues
(24:54):
with executive functioning which is how you make decisions and working memory which I
told you was bad test but I hated so much the one where you have to hold the numbers
in your mind and then rearrange them yeah that you know I knew that that was terrible
right yeah I'm thinking about it I'm like right yeah it's uncomfortable to think about
(25:20):
and it's you know it's performative because you're doing it in front of somebody totally
totally but what was that well I was just gonna say it's like you know like we I do improv
right and we'll play these like alphabet scenes and as you're doing it you know you're having
to remember the scene but you're also having to remember which letter you're on in the alphabet
(25:41):
and it is intentionally hard yes to do this and it's it's just I can't now I'm thinking
well what if I had to rearrange the alphabet to and then change it to the Greek alphabet
or whatever right or what if you'd played the you did that and you did it backwards and
you started with Z and you had to work your way back yeah exactly right and that's yeah
(26:06):
that's exactly it like we don't you know those are not comfortable like where you know your
brain wants things to be easy right so one's pathways that are clear and straightforward
all brains yeah well what I'm getting I guess the point I'm trying to make there too is
that it's something like that number test could be hard for everyone you know and there's
(26:31):
sometimes you know they'll show something like they'll take a snippet of that test throw
it online and it's like oh if you can't do this you have ADHD right you know and and
I think I'm just like a saying this because the self diagnosis is is always like a scary
thing it's great I love what you did here you know three sessions six hours three you
(26:51):
know people reviewing the results like all of that is great but also like you said very
privileged right like I mean it's it's not out there everywhere unfortunately they don't
it's not you know prioritized mental health in this country or many other countries right
instead you know they treat it like this this thing that's not really there because I guess
(27:16):
people don't see it right exactly because it is it is an invisible disability and it
is a thing that like you know nobody's gonna look at me and think that I have a disability
like that's not that's not how that's gonna work and it has been a journey for me to accept
that about myself even to look at my life where I have had I am I am a successful person
(27:41):
right like I have had lots of great success and even the day I walked in when I walked
in to get the assessment feedback with the psychologist I walked in the door and he's
like I am so excited to talk to you and I was like okay like he's like you know we generally
don't have people your age come in here to get assessed have the level of ADHD you have
(28:14):
the depth of ADHD you have and have multiple college degrees and are holding a high level
position in a job usually people who have not been diagnosed by your age are are struggling
significantly more than you are and so that was really fascinating and and so he's like
I want to know I want to know all about you I want to know how you did this because it's
(28:39):
really fascinating for me to look at you know your history and and think that you were doing
this up against amazing odds he's like can you imagine what would have happened had you
had support for your disability instead of been fighting in many ways against it if I
wasn't having to constantly play those games to trick myself into having hyper focus into
(29:03):
gamifying things and and I have sat with that and that was a hard truth I cried in the in
the parking lot I recorded a tick tock immediately after getting the results you know talking
about the fact that that like my working memory is 93% worse than most people's is like and
(29:23):
most neurotypical people so like that is that is significant right and and trying to kind
of come around to to wrapping my head around like okay what might have been like and I
am still on the fence as to whether the fact that I had to personally work against it was
part of what drove me like I don't I don't know if it was or not I have no idea what
(29:48):
it would be like to have support because I didn't have that I know now what it's like
to be medicated and I choose this life because to be on ADHD medication is was a revolution
for for me do you still find yourself playing those games yeah do you recognize it and appreciate
(30:09):
it and just go for it or do you recognize it and say okay I got to change this I don't
want to do that game like what's that like now it's it's it's easier like they get up
and go to get things done it doesn't take quite as much manipulation for me to get into a
space of activity or to get tasks done or to address things.
(30:34):
One of the things that's really hard about ADHD in general is my my brain just wants
just sees everything at once right and so every time I do a task I don't just see like
I walk into my kitchen to clean it or walk into my kitchen in the morning I don't just
see oh those dishes need to be done I see those dishes need to be done this needs to
(30:56):
be put away this needs to be done I need to make breakfast I need to do this I need to
make lunch for my daughter I need to do all of these different things like they all hit
me at once and one of the things that's hard about ADHD is you have to prioritize which
tasks to do in what order and and that was a really hard thing to do when I was unmedicated
now that I'm medicated I don't have as much difficulty going okay you need to get the
(31:18):
dishes out of the sink before you make food you know you need whatever it is it needs
to be done like I can put those things in order in a much easier way so the metaphor
I say is like excuse me I still have a collection of squirrels that are running around in my
brain all the time that are like bouncing but I can get them in line you've trained the
(31:39):
squirrels you're like Mark Rover I've trained the squirrels like the medication trains the
squirrels the medication gets the squirrels in order and then I can say okay you are the
one I need to do first and we need to do this because the medication has kind of helps rewire
and change my brain so much of my life changed when I went on the medication I stopped drinking
(32:00):
caffeine I cut back on alcohol consumption because the medication regulated my nervous
system in a way that I had never I'd never had it regulated and I didn't recognize how
dysregulated I was because I had always been dysregulated right and then I started to become
regulated and I'm like oh all of these coping mechanisms I had dysregulated my body and
(32:26):
I was okay with that because I was always in a state of dysregulation in that state that
you've always been in you were able to accomplish so much and and you know that's that's physician
backed that you've accomplished a lot he also said it right yeah you've done all these great
things do you now look back and be like well if I would have got this diagnosis at you know 16
(32:49):
instead of last or two years ago mm-hmm yeah what would my life be like I try not to think about
it that way I try not to put myself in a what could have been mindset because it's not necessarily
productive for me what's been really great has been being able to look back at difficult times
(33:12):
in my life and start to recognize oh I was struggling then with this because of the ADHD
and oh I was I had difficulty managing this because of the disability and and and I'm able to look at
my family history and look at my family and recognize that ADHD is genetic so it is very
(33:38):
likely that I come from a neuro spicy family and when I look at some of the struggles that I
didn't understand my my brothers in particular having I I can look at all that in a different
light now and I'm like well of course they had this right because they didn't know that they had ADHD
(34:00):
and so I am hoping and one of the reasons why I saw it you know had people asked me they're like
why are you doing this now like you know you are successful you have this you have this you have
this why are you doing this and it's like well this is genetic so if I am passing this on in my
family line I want my daughter to know I want her to understand where I'm coming from you know I
(34:24):
want her to figure out if you know she falls in these categories too she likely does and she is
very desirous right now of of getting assessed and finding out if she has ADHD which we haven't
quite figured out the path for that yet but that will put her on a very different on a very
(34:46):
different trajectory so like I can stand here as kind of this bridge from like my family who were
all undiagnosed to me who got late diagnosed to the next generation of my family who will have this
knowledge and understanding and the resources and the abilities to to potentially have a different
(35:10):
life because I made the decision to pursue this and had the privilege to be able to pursue it the
diagnosis now what you're saying there I'm I'm so glad you're not saying oh well you know my whole
life would have changed this would have happened that and I love that you're just thinking about
the future and the next generation and how you can help and I feel like you're doing that at home
(35:32):
but you're also doing that on this podcast exactly that's exactly what the the drive of this is is to
help so what can people expect let's kind of set up I mean hey this is the first episode I only get
to be here for this one so I gotta learn I'm gonna become a listener or tell me about the podcast
(35:55):
so yes yes but I listen to every single episode yeah so what I want to do with um with Divergent
Paz is interview um a female identified or non-binary um people who have a late diagnosis
of ADHD autism um and neurodivergence um and tell tell those stories like I want these stories
(36:23):
to be told I want because it was so important to me that that um the people who posted on TikTok
who opened opened my mind I mean even the memes that started this five six years ago you know
even those are are just people you know talking about their experiences and I think that there's
(36:45):
a lot of really valuable conversations that can be had about this and you know we we do experience
it differently um I have um you know identified at least a few of my friends who who now know
that they are you know also um neuro spicy and have probably ADHD um and I will get dismissive
(37:10):
comments from them sometimes people who haven't gone through the process of getting um diagnosed
who will say things like well my my ADHD is in the severe chores is or or things like that you
know well I don't really need to get a diagnosis because you know I can manage this and I'm sitting
on the other side of the diagnosis of the medication of a year of you know knowing and saying you know
(37:38):
you don't know like I did not know how noisy my brain was like I didn't know like my anxiety
dropped so much when I went on the ADHD medication which is the opposite of what stims are supposed
to do like right stimulants are supposed to to amp people up and it just ramped the noise in my
brain down so much that I just I still marvel sometimes at the fact that like it's it's it's
(38:05):
quieter it's not silent you know I still get songs stuck in my head that play for days sometimes
but I don't wake up every morning with a song in my head going what where did the song come from
why am I you know why is this song playing or what you know whatever these like things are
I don't spiral out of control anxiety on every thought I had and it was every thought I could
(38:26):
spiral on everything like any thought in my head I could just wind up and up and up and up and by
the end of the day I was exhausted because I had you know all of these swirls in my head running
around with all these different ideas I'm so exhausted at the end of the day I am
(38:48):
10 year old and I'm 50s oh yeah I almost feel like you should name the podcast train the swirls
I think you set up something here for a hey may need to put a squirrel in the logo
well I just found out last night that the like one of the one of the like symbols for ADHD is a
(39:12):
a rainbow butterfly and I love the idea of that the idea of
something that's always in motion that doesn't that doesn't stop that has you know amazingly
beautiful colors that goes through a massive transformation at least that's what part of
this is felt like like this has transformed my life this knowledge so I think you've got your
(39:37):
cover art set up now yeah definitely might be in the in my that might come up uh have a couple of
different ideas we're working on the logo right now so and I am going to launch this into you
know this this is going to be a podcast to talk to people but I also want to make this into the
my next phase of my career to start a consulting business where I can hopefully enact some change
(40:02):
and help people who have invisible disabilities understand themselves have people who love people
with invisible disabilities understand them maybe a little better as well and open that up potentially
to working with companies to help them understand what it means to have employees that have these
kinds of divergence and these neurodivergence and these spicy brains because spicy brains are
(40:27):
amazing there's so much so much potential there's so much good work I know that my my ability as a
teacher directly comes from my ADHD it comes from that ability to assess you know there were the
years ago I I completely ditched every lesson plan I ever had like 10 years into teaching just
(40:51):
threw it to the wind and I would go in to class and I would figure out where my students were
and I would figure out what they needed and I didn't drop the goals and I didn't drop you know
what needed to be taught but I started teaching in a way that spoke to my students as opposed to me
having an agenda for them and that was such a pivotal moment for me to realize that like I could
(41:13):
shape what I what I needed to teach them based on what how what and how they needed no no two of my
classes after that point were ever the same and I called it my choose your own adventure you know
learning strategy nice I'm hoping to take all of that kind of energy into into this invisible
(41:34):
disability space and create some classes and courses as well yeah absolutely nice yeah so it's the
beginning of a journey it's the beginning it's the beginning of my divergent path thanks for
allowing me to be a part of that it's so cool to be in the beginning here yes you get to be here
from the start to see where where all of this goes from so I will be listening I'll be editing
(41:57):
actually I'll be behind editing you're going to be you're going to be involved yeah so all those bad
edits that would be me so anytime anybody who comes on the show who's mad about about how they sound
I will see you guys right here
(42:20):
thank you so much for listening to my story I am so excited to bring my story and many like it to
this podcast make sure you subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts like and leave a review
and share with your spicy brain friends follow us on instagram at divergent paths consulting
no spaces and until next time stay spicy
What's been really great has been being able to look back at difficult times in my life
(00:09):
and start to recognize, oh, I was struggling then with this because of the ADHD and I've
been able to look at my family history and look at my family and recognize that ADHD is
genetic.
So it is very likely that I come from a neuro-spicy family.
(00:40):
Hello and welcome to Divergent Paths.
I'm your host, Dr. Regina McMenomy.
I am a doctor, but not that kind of doctor.
And this is a podcast, not medical advice.
Have you always felt a little different, but didn't know why?
Have you struggled with tasks that some people seem to handle with ease?
Are you sometimes mystified by social norms and interactions with other people?
(01:06):
Divergent Paths is a podcast for late diagnosed neurodivergent people to discuss their journeys
discovering the joys and frustrations of having a spicy brain.
Each episode, I will interview someone who discovered they have ADHD, autism, or a combination
of the two later in life.
What defines a later in life diagnosis?
(01:26):
Any time the realization happens outside of the quote unquote norm of childhood and adolescence.
For this episode, as the first episode, my longtime friend Russ interviews me about my
own diagnosis.
So stay tuned to learn about my awkward journey.
And thanks for listening to Divergent Paths.
(01:47):
Have you given history of us?
We've known each other since forever ago.
We have known each other since forever ago.
Did you mention original cookie in the open?
I don't think I did mention original cookie in the open.
We can talk about it, though.
Russ and I met at our very first job in the mall when we were teenagers.
(02:11):
And you wanted to fire me.
I did.
That's how it goes.
And you crushed a sugar cookie and put it down my shirt one day when we were fighting.
This was before HR existed.
This was long ago.
And this was when they let two 16-year-olds run the whole store.
(02:36):
Right.
Which in hindsight, probably wasn't the best idea.
It was just the two of us.
It was not wise.
I don't know what they were thinking.
But hey, whatever.
I mean, it's survived.
It's not there anymore.
And the whole mall is going to be demolished.
But yes, yes.
(02:57):
So okay, I know, I know I feel like everything about you or at least almost everything about
you.
Yes.
But the listeners do not.
So tell us a little about yourself.
All right.
Well, let's see.
I am an academic.
I have a PhD in American studies.
And I studied gender and video games.
(03:19):
And you may be coming to this podcast having checked out my previous podcast, which was
called Game on Girl, which was based on my dissertation research.
And I did that podcast for many years.
There are many episodes.
And they're all still available if you're interested in going back into that.
And that was where really my love of podcasting came from launching that show.
(03:42):
And the reason why I launched that show was because when I finished my PhD, I decided I
didn't want to be an academic in a traditional sense anymore.
But I still wanted to have conversations about the research that I had done and the sort
of identity conversations that had started through my research.
(04:09):
And that was kind of where I started podcasting.
I just decided that the conversations were valuable and I wanted to have a bigger audience
than I would have if I took a traditional academic path.
Because when you take an academic path, you spend a lot of your time talking to other
academics.
Right.
(04:30):
Right.
And I felt like what I had to say was really more important than a conversation that would
have happened with 50 to 100 people across the world.
I wanted it to have a bigger impact.
And so that's how Game on Girl was born.
And I've kind of evolved away from gaming as a core part of my identity.
(04:51):
At the time I was writing the dissertation, I was playing World of Warcraft.
And that's what inspired me to pursue that topic.
And I had always been a video gamer.
I'm trying to remember if we ever played video games together.
I don't think we did.
We didn't do a lot of video games in high schools, I remember.
We did like plenty of board games.
We did lots of board games, yes.
(05:12):
And that's what I play now more than anything.
I have a rather extensive collection of board games.
I generally am traveling with a handful of board games everywhere I go.
And that's more where my focus is.
Why do you think that changed?
I think part of it was the dissertation, honestly, and doing the podcast and having
(05:35):
that focus last for so long, so intensely.
I think that I just kind of moved into a space where it just became a little bit too much
work and not as much play.
I had to keep up on game releases and people were always asking me questions about it.
And there's so much to know about video games and so many different games that I just never
(05:59):
really played that it just became something that wasn't an interest for me to keep up
with.
So in some of the language that I would use to talk about it now is my hyper focus on
video games ended.
Part of that was life.
Part of it was dissertation and topic and having talked about it for so long.
(06:22):
But I became a mom and sitting at my computer became harder when I was a mom for hours
on end.
Board games are a lot more accessible to small humans.
And so that kind of pivoted in that direction because that could be an activity that I could
still game and enjoy that with my daughter.
(06:47):
And I also changed jobs as well in all of this.
I have had all these major life changes.
And when I started working at my desk 40 hours a week sitting at my desk playing games exactly
for leisure time didn't didn't really have the same appeal anymore.
(07:07):
So I just kind of slowly moved away from it.
Like I think the last thing I had done that was big as I got like one of the expansions
for World of Warcraft thinking I was going to go back in and play again and to really
seriously play those games is such a time commitment.
Totally.
Totally.
I mean like I you know I I enjoy Minecraft like just building up in Minecraft.
(07:32):
But it takes forever.
And so sometimes it's like I'll start it and then it's like OK I got to put this away.
I got to stop.
Yeah.
I just you know get so so into it.
I don't know if I would call it hyper focus.
No.
I do feel like it's like oh it's like this need for you know getting it done this like
a compliment thing where it's like I've got to get to the end of it.
(07:54):
Right.
When you just said hyper focus and I was thinking about like what you were talking about about
changing your career and you know doing the academic thing and then yeah you know OK well
that changed and there's something else there.
I think about you know I host the business podcast and there's so many people that I've
talked to that are hyper focused on their business.
(08:15):
Right.
Are they hyper focused or are they super goal oriented to get the thing done.
How do you differentiate things.
Oh that's a good question.
I mean the first thing I'm going to say is are they neuro spicy like.
Oh no.
OK.
What is neuro spicy.
I need to get into that.
(08:37):
So if they have a neuro divergence if they have ADHD or autism or something along the
line so it makes their brain work differently.
That is a different thing than being goal oriented and when you have a brain that allows
you to focus for extended periods of time to to your physical detriment.
(09:00):
So I would ask you like when you're playing Minecraft and you're in that space.
Do you forget to eat.
I don't.
OK.
Then that's not hyper focused.
I'm usually eating while I'm doing well I mean maybe then that isn't I don't know like
I will if I get caught up if I am in a project if I'm writing in particular if I'm writing
(09:23):
and I get in the zone and I am producing words I will forget all other bodily functions
all other things I need to do to care for myself I just get to a place where that's
all I see and that can happen anywhere.
I hyper focused on cleaning last week and I like cleans like a good portion of my house
(09:46):
because that's just where my hyper focus went had music on in my AirPods and just you know
went forward and cleaned and that comes from from my ADHD.
Right.
I feel like in a way that can be a superpower.
(10:07):
The hyper focused right.
Like you you can take on a task and just like yeah.
Drive it.
Right.
And just just go for it.
It's like flying.
You know it's like the expressway.
Do you ever look at it like a superpower.
I look at it as a very unique talent.
I don't I don't really like the idea of a superpower because I can't always control
(10:30):
it like that's the day that I cleaned the house.
I didn't decide that that was going to be the hyper focus for that day and I don't have
a lot of control over it.
I can sometimes set myself up with rituals that will get me into a space where I can
(10:52):
I can access it but it's not a switch that I can turn on and off and that that's why
like if you want to use the metaphor of flying superheroes that fly can just jump off the
ground and fly right like anytime they want to but I can't always jump off the ground
and hyper focus on what I want to hyper focus on.
(11:13):
Gotcha.
And that that makes it that's where it starts to come into me understanding it more as as
it is an amazing ability and and when I can put it where it needs to be and where I need
it to be it's a beautiful thing but the rest of the time it is a struggle.
(11:33):
When did you first like suspect that you were well I'll use your your neuro spicy term.
Yes.
Yeah.
I started to suspect I was neuro spicy probably about five or six years ago and it was really
kind of funny because it was a very indirect route for me to take I had some friends who
(11:56):
started posting memes about ADHD and I'm like oh that's funny I do that you know but that's
not that doesn't mean I have ADHD you know that's funny I don't you know but I don't
have ADHD because I wrote a dissertation I can focus with no problem like I have I focus
(12:16):
all the time I wrote a book I have multiple college degrees I you know can do all of these
things you know so I just didn't at first I was like this is weird like why am I resonating
with this right and then dismissed it you know this can't be who I am and then and then
(12:37):
I joined tiktok.
Oh right the tiktok algorithm was very sure that I had ADHD.
Really?
Yes.
Okay.
And I started getting presented video after video after video of you know things that ADHD
people do that are not necessarily like that are not neurotypical you know just like some
(13:03):
of these things and I started going wait wait what.
Right.
Yes.
Probably I'm going to say tiktok is probably not the best official diagnosis.
Tiktok is not an official diagnosis and in addition this is not this this conversation
is not a not a place of diagnosis I am not that kind of doctor I cannot look at the spot
(13:27):
on your leg and tell you anything about it.
I can help you talk about your identity and how you formed it and what it means but you
know those are not the same things.
So what do you do if you start to suspect and somebody that's listening to this podcast
is probably thinking like oh well I have this trait.
Right.
(13:48):
How do you get or when did actually let's let's talk about your official diagnosis.
My official diagnosis.
Yeah.
Did you get one?
I did get an official diagnosis yes.
Okay.
I did pursue that after it's only been it's been a year just over a year since I got my
official diagnosis and part of my process was learning that ADHD presents differently
(14:13):
in assigned female birth bodies so it doesn't look the same and much of the research that
has been done has been done on assigned male at birth bodies so the physical hyperactivity
because I was one of the I don't have ADHD I can sit still but because the research was
done on some yeah.
(14:35):
Exactly.
So so I do not have physical manifestations of ADHD I don't I can sit still I don't have
my feet I don't like my hyperactivity is all internal it's all in my mind and I ended up
reading a book called Divergent Minds and I probably should have looked the author's
name up but I'll have it in the show notes and I read that book and it was talking about
(15:00):
how autism and ADHD present differently in assigned female birth bodies and that is
a big piece of that is the way the hyperactivity is internalized so it is a completely internal
process.
What's I guess what's the steps towards the diagnosis like what did you do?
(15:22):
What did I do to get the official diagnosis?
Yeah like what is it a test is it like yeah okay.
Yeah so it so I I would like to acknowledge my absolute privilege in this process at the
time I decided to seek out the the diagnosis I had absolutely outstanding medical insurance
(15:49):
and so I was able to I didn't have to go to my primary care doctor to get a referral for
the testing which is a process that people often have to do because I had insurance or
I could pick my providers so I was able just to find an organization there's an office
in my town that does nothing but this kind of assessment that's all their office does
(16:17):
and I was able to find them I was able to you know book an appointment I was able to
pay a nominal copayment for what turned out to be three different appointments so the
first appointment I went in and I met with the person who would be administering the
test and they have kind of a battery of initial consultation questions so that they can suss
(16:42):
out if you are showing signs of the neurodivergence.
So you know it was questions like do you lose your car keys a lot and my answer to that
was no and then she backed up and said well is that because you have a system to keep
(17:04):
track of where your car keys are do you have a system in place so you don't lose your car
keys and I said yes I do I also have a system in place so I don't misplace my phone I have
a system in place so that I know where my purse is at all times like you know there
are things that are you know I was already accommodating my ADHD without knowing that
(17:31):
that's what I was doing and I had done that a lot so the initial consultation was you
know kind of this battery of tests it asked questions about my childhood leaning back
to because that's one of the criteria is that this is something that you also had in your
childhood and was something that you you know kind of evolved with.
(17:55):
It's funny how you mentioned the symptom thing of like you just sort of made up for it you
know you sort of just you know it's like somebody like with a you know with like a physical
symptom of like oh well it hurts when I get when I stand up and I do this right so I just
don't do that anymore exactly it doesn't mean you're getting rid of the problem it just
means you're you know putting it's a duct tape solution in a way.
(18:18):
It is it is and that's what that's what I think the majority of people who go on diagnosed
do they you know or don't do or can't do like right I was very capable of somehow figuring
out how to amend my disability with this because I was able to to build structures to figure
(18:39):
out ways to trick myself to gamify things you know I gamified my dissertation I you know
gave myself rewards at certain points and I use what's called the Pomodoro method where
you work for 25 minutes and then take a five minute break and you know talked about my
dissertation as making salsa because I was smashing tomatoes and that's you know and
(19:03):
it gave me it made it fun like it and then an engaged part of that that ADHD brain.
I'd also say and I want to get back to the I don't want to lose track of finishing the
story of getting the official diagnosis because this is ADHD at the finest right here.
I did that one that was me.
(19:26):
Right so like like being able to do that is also you know it does it doesn't work for
everybody like not everybody who has ADHD has the capacity to kind of figure out how to
manipulate it when they don't when they don't know what's going on right so so yeah I read
(19:47):
the book I did the initial consultation I went back in for both testing for autism and ADHD
because if you don't know they are very closely related to each other and I was in my initial
consult showing things that might have proven out to be autism as well.
(20:11):
The schedule for the testing is six hours long or was at least for me it's a six hour
long series of tests that you take so essentially you clear out an entire day it took a couple
months to be able to schedule it because like you know they have a lot of people wanting
these and it's a long process and with you're not supposed to have any caffeine the day
(20:37):
that you you go in for the test because you were supposed to go in with no no stems no
stimulants so right so you're not supposed to have any caffeine and then you go in and
you take the the battery of tests and and it was very extensive their tests for executive
functioning like how you make decisions there's tests for working memory so how you hold things
(21:02):
in your memory and that was that was for me that was an uncomfortable test because it was
partially she would tell me a series of numbers and I would have to repeat the numbers and
at first you just repeat them in what order she told them to me but then it was repeat
them in ascending order and then repeat them in descending order and so you had to remember
(21:26):
the numbers and reorganize them it was hard yeah there was also a test for like knowing
definitions of words which I went through and I think there was one word that I didn't
actually know the dictionary definition of just one of like 30 words so yeah and there
(21:51):
were tests with blocks where I had to put the blocks into the pattern that was on a
piece of paper like like manipulate them to to make them the thing and it was funny because
when I finished it especially that one I wanted to do it again because I knew if I did it
again I would I would ace it like right because I was laying the pathways and I knew once the
(22:14):
pathways were there it's like every time I play a new board game I want to play it twice
immediately like I want to play it once and I want to play it again immediately after because
I know that like by the end of the game things have clicked into place that weren't there
in the beginning right right you feel like you figured it out right now let me now let
me show you I can really do but that's not how these tests work exciting it right so
(22:38):
at the we were at about four hours I had done all the ADHD tests and had done two of three
autism tests and the last two hours was very extensive autism test and she said currently
you're not testing you're not showing positive for autism so I will let you choose like do
(22:59):
you want to do this test or do you want to skip this and I said well for we're currently
showing no on this let's just not do it for now and let's go back to that game so I can
finish it right exactly I can play it properly now right so from there she took my testing
(23:21):
and then presented it to three psychologists who then conferred on my results and wrote
up a report for me and then I went back in for an hour long conversation with one of
the psychologists to get the results of my my assessment and question on that so I mean
(23:44):
I'm assuming you know there's various details that we'll get into but is it like are they
ranking this is it like a scored kind of yeah you know you're this it's a diagnosis ADHD
score yes you are 90% or whatever it is yeah so there's an overall diagnosis that you get
(24:06):
there are three main types of diagnosed diagnostic outcomes you can have when you go through the
process there is hyperactive ADHD there's inattentive ADHD and then there's combined
which is when you have both inattentive and hyperactive and I have the combined type so
(24:30):
I have both inattentive and hyperactive ADHD and I don't remember all of the different
criteria but there is in the results and the report that I got there's a table that shows
where my more my flags are like where my more my big problems are and at the top or issues
(24:54):
with executive functioning which is how you make decisions and working memory which I
told you was bad test but I hated so much the one where you have to hold the numbers
in your mind and then rearrange them yeah that you know I knew that that was terrible
right yeah I'm thinking about it I'm like right yeah it's uncomfortable to think about
(25:20):
and it's you know it's performative because you're doing it in front of somebody totally
totally but what was that well I was just gonna say it's like you know like we I do improv
right and we'll play these like alphabet scenes and as you're doing it you know you're having
to remember the scene but you're also having to remember which letter you're on in the alphabet
(25:41):
and it is intentionally hard yes to do this and it's it's just I can't now I'm thinking
well what if I had to rearrange the alphabet to and then change it to the Greek alphabet
or whatever right or what if you'd played the you did that and you did it backwards and
you started with Z and you had to work your way back yeah exactly right and that's yeah
(26:06):
that's exactly it like we don't you know those are not comfortable like where you know your
brain wants things to be easy right so one's pathways that are clear and straightforward
all brains yeah well what I'm getting I guess the point I'm trying to make there too is
that it's something like that number test could be hard for everyone you know and there's
(26:31):
sometimes you know they'll show something like they'll take a snippet of that test throw
it online and it's like oh if you can't do this you have ADHD right you know and and
I think I'm just like a saying this because the self diagnosis is is always like a scary
thing it's great I love what you did here you know three sessions six hours three you
(26:51):
know people reviewing the results like all of that is great but also like you said very
privileged right like I mean it's it's not out there everywhere unfortunately they don't
it's not you know prioritized mental health in this country or many other countries right
instead you know they treat it like this this thing that's not really there because I guess
(27:16):
people don't see it right exactly because it is it is an invisible disability and it
is a thing that like you know nobody's gonna look at me and think that I have a disability
like that's not that's not how that's gonna work and it has been a journey for me to accept
that about myself even to look at my life where I have had I am I am a successful person
(27:41):
right like I have had lots of great success and even the day I walked in when I walked
in to get the assessment feedback with the psychologist I walked in the door and he's
like I am so excited to talk to you and I was like okay like he's like you know we generally
don't have people your age come in here to get assessed have the level of ADHD you have
(28:14):
the depth of ADHD you have and have multiple college degrees and are holding a high level
position in a job usually people who have not been diagnosed by your age are are struggling
significantly more than you are and so that was really fascinating and and so he's like
I want to know I want to know all about you I want to know how you did this because it's
(28:39):
really fascinating for me to look at you know your history and and think that you were doing
this up against amazing odds he's like can you imagine what would have happened had you
had support for your disability instead of been fighting in many ways against it if I
wasn't having to constantly play those games to trick myself into having hyper focus into
(29:03):
gamifying things and and I have sat with that and that was a hard truth I cried in the in
the parking lot I recorded a tick tock immediately after getting the results you know talking
about the fact that that like my working memory is 93% worse than most people's is like and
(29:23):
most neurotypical people so like that is that is significant right and and trying to kind
of come around to to wrapping my head around like okay what might have been like and I
am still on the fence as to whether the fact that I had to personally work against it was
part of what drove me like I don't I don't know if it was or not I have no idea what
(29:48):
it would be like to have support because I didn't have that I know now what it's like
to be medicated and I choose this life because to be on ADHD medication is was a revolution
for for me do you still find yourself playing those games yeah do you recognize it and appreciate
(30:09):
it and just go for it or do you recognize it and say okay I got to change this I don't
want to do that game like what's that like now it's it's it's easier like they get up
and go to get things done it doesn't take quite as much manipulation for me to get into a
space of activity or to get tasks done or to address things.
(30:34):
One of the things that's really hard about ADHD in general is my my brain just wants
just sees everything at once right and so every time I do a task I don't just see like
I walk into my kitchen to clean it or walk into my kitchen in the morning I don't just
see oh those dishes need to be done I see those dishes need to be done this needs to
(30:56):
be put away this needs to be done I need to make breakfast I need to do this I need to
make lunch for my daughter I need to do all of these different things like they all hit
me at once and one of the things that's hard about ADHD is you have to prioritize which
tasks to do in what order and and that was a really hard thing to do when I was unmedicated
now that I'm medicated I don't have as much difficulty going okay you need to get the
(31:18):
dishes out of the sink before you make food you know you need whatever it is it needs
to be done like I can put those things in order in a much easier way so the metaphor
I say is like excuse me I still have a collection of squirrels that are running around in my
brain all the time that are like bouncing but I can get them in line you've trained the
(31:39):
squirrels you're like Mark Rover I've trained the squirrels like the medication trains the
squirrels the medication gets the squirrels in order and then I can say okay you are the
one I need to do first and we need to do this because the medication has kind of helps rewire
and change my brain so much of my life changed when I went on the medication I stopped drinking
(32:00):
caffeine I cut back on alcohol consumption because the medication regulated my nervous
system in a way that I had never I'd never had it regulated and I didn't recognize how
dysregulated I was because I had always been dysregulated right and then I started to become
regulated and I'm like oh all of these coping mechanisms I had dysregulated my body and
(32:26):
I was okay with that because I was always in a state of dysregulation in that state that
you've always been in you were able to accomplish so much and and you know that's that's physician
backed that you've accomplished a lot he also said it right yeah you've done all these great
things do you now look back and be like well if I would have got this diagnosis at you know 16
(32:49):
instead of last or two years ago mm-hmm yeah what would my life be like I try not to think about
it that way I try not to put myself in a what could have been mindset because it's not necessarily
productive for me what's been really great has been being able to look back at difficult times
(33:12):
in my life and start to recognize oh I was struggling then with this because of the ADHD
and oh I was I had difficulty managing this because of the disability and and and I'm able to look at
my family history and look at my family and recognize that ADHD is genetic so it is very
(33:38):
likely that I come from a neuro spicy family and when I look at some of the struggles that I
didn't understand my my brothers in particular having I I can look at all that in a different
light now and I'm like well of course they had this right because they didn't know that they had ADHD
(34:00):
and so I am hoping and one of the reasons why I saw it you know had people asked me they're like
why are you doing this now like you know you are successful you have this you have this you have
this why are you doing this and it's like well this is genetic so if I am passing this on in my
family line I want my daughter to know I want her to understand where I'm coming from you know I
(34:24):
want her to figure out if you know she falls in these categories too she likely does and she is
very desirous right now of of getting assessed and finding out if she has ADHD which we haven't
quite figured out the path for that yet but that will put her on a very different on a very
(34:46):
different trajectory so like I can stand here as kind of this bridge from like my family who were
all undiagnosed to me who got late diagnosed to the next generation of my family who will have this
knowledge and understanding and the resources and the abilities to to potentially have a different
(35:10):
life because I made the decision to pursue this and had the privilege to be able to pursue it the
diagnosis now what you're saying there I'm I'm so glad you're not saying oh well you know my whole
life would have changed this would have happened that and I love that you're just thinking about
the future and the next generation and how you can help and I feel like you're doing that at home
(35:32):
but you're also doing that on this podcast exactly that's exactly what the the drive of this is is to
help so what can people expect let's kind of set up I mean hey this is the first episode I only get
to be here for this one so I gotta learn I'm gonna become a listener or tell me about the podcast
(35:55):
so yes yes but I listen to every single episode yeah so what I want to do with um with Divergent
Paz is interview um a female identified or non-binary um people who have a late diagnosis
of ADHD autism um and neurodivergence um and tell tell those stories like I want these stories
(36:23):
to be told I want because it was so important to me that that um the people who posted on TikTok
who opened opened my mind I mean even the memes that started this five six years ago you know
even those are are just people you know talking about their experiences and I think that there's
(36:45):
a lot of really valuable conversations that can be had about this and you know we we do experience
it differently um I have um you know identified at least a few of my friends who who now know
that they are you know also um neuro spicy and have probably ADHD um and I will get dismissive
(37:10):
comments from them sometimes people who haven't gone through the process of getting um diagnosed
who will say things like well my my ADHD is in the severe chores is or or things like that you
know well I don't really need to get a diagnosis because you know I can manage this and I'm sitting
on the other side of the diagnosis of the medication of a year of you know knowing and saying you know
(37:38):
you don't know like I did not know how noisy my brain was like I didn't know like my anxiety
dropped so much when I went on the ADHD medication which is the opposite of what stims are supposed
to do like right stimulants are supposed to to amp people up and it just ramped the noise in my
brain down so much that I just I still marvel sometimes at the fact that like it's it's it's
(38:05):
quieter it's not silent you know I still get songs stuck in my head that play for days sometimes
but I don't wake up every morning with a song in my head going what where did the song come from
why am I you know why is this song playing or what you know whatever these like things are
I don't spiral out of control anxiety on every thought I had and it was every thought I could
(38:26):
spiral on everything like any thought in my head I could just wind up and up and up and up and by
the end of the day I was exhausted because I had you know all of these swirls in my head running
around with all these different ideas I'm so exhausted at the end of the day I am
(38:48):
10 year old and I'm 50s oh yeah I almost feel like you should name the podcast train the swirls
I think you set up something here for a hey may need to put a squirrel in the logo
well I just found out last night that the like one of the one of the like symbols for ADHD is a
(39:12):
a rainbow butterfly and I love the idea of that the idea of
something that's always in motion that doesn't that doesn't stop that has you know amazingly
beautiful colors that goes through a massive transformation at least that's what part of
this is felt like like this has transformed my life this knowledge so I think you've got your
(39:37):
cover art set up now yeah definitely might be in the in my that might come up uh have a couple of
different ideas we're working on the logo right now so and I am going to launch this into you
know this this is going to be a podcast to talk to people but I also want to make this into the
my next phase of my career to start a consulting business where I can hopefully enact some change
(40:02):
and help people who have invisible disabilities understand themselves have people who love people
with invisible disabilities understand them maybe a little better as well and open that up potentially
to working with companies to help them understand what it means to have employees that have these
kinds of divergence and these neurodivergence and these spicy brains because spicy brains are
(40:27):
amazing there's so much so much potential there's so much good work I know that my my ability as a
teacher directly comes from my ADHD it comes from that ability to assess you know there were the
years ago I I completely ditched every lesson plan I ever had like 10 years into teaching just
(40:51):
threw it to the wind and I would go in to class and I would figure out where my students were
and I would figure out what they needed and I didn't drop the goals and I didn't drop you know
what needed to be taught but I started teaching in a way that spoke to my students as opposed to me
having an agenda for them and that was such a pivotal moment for me to realize that like I could
(41:13):
shape what I what I needed to teach them based on what how what and how they needed no no two of my
classes after that point were ever the same and I called it my choose your own adventure you know
learning strategy nice I'm hoping to take all of that kind of energy into into this invisible
(41:34):
disability space and create some classes and courses as well yeah absolutely nice yeah so it's the
beginning of a journey it's the beginning it's the beginning of my divergent path thanks for
allowing me to be a part of that it's so cool to be in the beginning here yes you get to be here
from the start to see where where all of this goes from so I will be listening I'll be editing
(41:57):
actually I'll be behind editing you're going to be you're going to be involved yeah so all those bad
edits that would be me so anytime anybody who comes on the show who's mad about about how they sound
I will see you guys right here
(42:20):
thank you so much for listening to my story I am so excited to bring my story and many like it to
this podcast make sure you subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts like and leave a review
and share with your spicy brain friends follow us on instagram at divergent paths consulting
no spaces and until next time stay spicy
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