February 4, 2025 • 15 mins
Cary Jacobson, attorney and mediator, introduces Divorce Diaries, a podcast aimed at transforming the conversation around divorce. With an emphasis on clarity, community, and practical advice, the show seeks to provide insights and support for those navigating the complexities of divorce.
Visit JacobsonFamilyLaw.com or call 443-726-4912 for support and guidance.
Visit jacobsonworkshop.com to learn more.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro/Close speaker (00:02):
welcome to divorce diaries, where Cary
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Charlie McDermott (00:24):
Well, welcome audience.
And yes, I am Cary Jacobson,thank goodness.
I'm actually the producer ofthe show and, Cary, I'm excited
for you.
I know this is a project thathas been on your list for quite
some time and really I'm honoredto bring this out to your
audience.
It's obviously something thatyou're passionate about and the
(00:45):
public at large can use youradvice and your knowledge.
So again, congratulations, Cary.
Cary Jacobson (00:52):
Thank you so much .
Charlie McDermott (00:53):
And for those of you wondering who this guy
is, by the way, I am part-timeco-host today and then I'm back
behind the scenes.
I actually produce the show.
But let's start, Cary.
Let's start this.
Your first episode with youhave an audience already, I know
, but there are folks who, maybefor the first time, are just
(01:15):
getting to know you.
Why don't you share yourbackground?
Cary Jacobson (01:19):
Absolutely.
Thanks for hosting, and I CaryJacobson.
I'm a family law attorney andmediator located in Maryland.
I have my own practice,Jacobson Family Law, and we are
a virtual practice servingclients all across Maryland, and
(01:41):
I really just have a passionfor helping people navigate the
divorce process in a lessadversarial way and hoping to
guide people along that process.
Charlie McDermott (01:55):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I call this episode thewhy episode, because I really
think it's important.
Whether you own a business oryou're passionate about
something, there's usuallysomething driving you.
You know that inspiration.
We'll call it what.
What is it, Cary, that hasinspired you to start Divorce
Diaries?
Cary Jacobson (02:15):
Well, you know, even though we have educational
content already out there, Ithink this is just another
format to educate people, and Iknow that divorce can be super
overwhelming.
But I want to create a space toshare stories from
(02:35):
professionals and practicaladvice so that people know how
to handle their own situationwith as much confidence, as
clarity as possible, know how tohandle their own situation with
as much confidence, as clarityas possible, and know that
(02:55):
divorce doesn't have to be, youknow, super confrontational,
conflictual.
There are ways to make it moreamicable.
Charlie McDermott (03:00):
Yeah, yeah, that's a great message to get
out there.
Yeah, yeah, that's a greatmessage to get out there and,
I'm sure, kind of eases thefeelings of many who are
(03:22):
thinking about it.
And I know my perspective.
Before I, it always seemed likethis you know headbutting, you
know I'm going to get you typeof a you know situation which,
in that case, I'm sure you'll bethe first one to say no one
wins Right.
Cary Jacobson (03:49):
And it's yeah.
So how about your, yourpersonal or professional
experience?
How has that shaped yourperspective on divorce and
relationships?
Yeah, so I started out mycareer in family law in the
typical litigation space.
You know where we did see howmuch of a toll litigation took
(04:09):
on families.
Just you know the partiesthemselves, which then trickles
down to the kids who areinvolved in the process and
realizing how toxic it reallytruly is.
And then it doesn't have to bethat way and so, yeah, you know
really being in it.
(04:30):
You know not even being a partyto the process, but also you
know representing people in thedivorce.
I felt the anxiety of thefrustration and the conflict, so
I can only imagine what myclients were feeling, having to
go through it personally.
Right, like I'm theprofessional doing this and I'm
(04:51):
having these feelings.
So they must be having thesefeelings, and I have been
mediation trained for a longtime and just realized that
that's where I wanted to focusour practice.
I wanted to work with thoseclients who wanted a better
resolution, and so that's whatwe have been doing now for five
(05:16):
or six years.
Charlie McDermott (05:18):
You make a good point.
We've all been in rooms wherethere's a certain dynamic and
I'm just going to say a negativedynamic that just infects you.
And I'm just going to say anegative dynamic that just
infects you.
Right, it's.
It's got to be challenging toto be in a situation where one
or two parties are very in manycases, rightly so, you know
(05:42):
negative.
Cary Jacobson (05:50):
And you got to bring that home with you, right,
I mean, or carry it, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not to mention, you know, fromthe professional side also
having to deal with opposingcounsel and how negative that
often felt.
And so, for lifestyle reasons,but also because I really want
to help those clients reachamicable resolutions and do it
(06:11):
in the most efficient waypossible, that's really why we
have tailored our practice theway we have.
Yeah.
Charlie McDermott (06:18):
Love it, love it.
How about your main goal ormission of Divorce Diaries?
Cary Jacobson (06:23):
Yeah.
So what I really want to dowith this podcast is to provide
listeners with actual insightsand real life lessons from
professionals and maybe thosewho have potentially gone
through a divorce, so that theycan navigate their own divorce
while minimizing the drama andfostering healthier outcomes for
everybody involved, boththemselves as well as their
(06:44):
families.
Charlie McDermott (06:46):
So then, Cary , who, would you say then, is
your target audience?
I mean, who are you speaking to?
Cary Jacobson (06:53):
So I would say it's primarily for those who are
going through a divorce orseparation, those who may be
contemplating it, but it also isgoing to be for those
professionals who are workingwith people in the divorce world
.
You know those financialplanners, coaches, therapists,
the divorce world.
You know those financialplanners, coaches, therapists,
(07:14):
so that they know how to directtheir clients on the best, you
know, approaches.
Charlie McDermott (07:19):
About topics.
What can listeners expect tohear about and learn about in
future episodes?
Cary Jacobson (07:27):
Yeah, so we're going to cover things like
co-parenting challenges, dealingwith financial planning both
during and post-divorce, how tobe emotionally resilient, real
life stories about what worksand what doesn't, so things that
may have gone better if theyhad done it a different way.
Charlie McDermott (07:51):
Yeah, you know it's interesting.
You mentioned that I was privyto an episode before this,
because we're kind of.
You know, it's like Hollywoodhere we're filming out of
sequence and we're actuallydoing the first episode after
we've done other episodes.
But, you know, one of the oneof you I won't, you know, reveal
(08:11):
anything here, but what reallyresonated with me was she was
talking about situations wheresomeone was already divorced and
kind of settled or gave in andthen, years down the road, that
individual looked back and waslike holy cow, what was I
thinking at the time?
You know, financially, I guesshe or she was not in a great
(08:35):
place.
So I think those are valuablelessons to hear as you're maybe
making a decision and making theright decision.
All right, I'm going to.
I'm going to refocus before Igive give away future episodes
here.
I'm going to refocus before Igive away future episodes here,
jeez, before you send me back toproducing here.
So what do you think makes thispodcast unique compared to
(08:59):
other resources that are outthere about divorce?
Cary Jacobson (09:02):
Yeah, it's going to bring together both those
professionals and those reallife stories things that we have
, you know, seen whenrepresenting clients throughout
the process not just tohighlight the problems but also
focus on some of the solutions.
You know, it's going to begrounded in honesty and the
(09:34):
belief that every challengepresents an opportunity to grow
from it, and we hope thatclients will, or listeners will,
take those lessons and addressthem in their particular
situation.
Charlie McDermott (09:41):
Yeah, but you make a good point.
I mean whether they'relisteners, clients, potential
clients.
You know, and I know you'refocused in the state of Maryland
, but I'm sure there areindividuals from outside of the
state that will pick up somegreat tips and information and
I'm sure there are otherwonderful attorneys outside of
(10:01):
Maryland, maybe not quite asgood as you, but you know that
can help.
Cary Jacobson (10:06):
How about?
Charlie McDermott (10:07):
is there a particular moment or story in
your life that you know thatmade you realize this podcast
was something that you needed todo?
Cary Jacobson (10:17):
again is just a different mode of educational
content, but really what set itfor me was that clients once
shared how a simple shift intheir communication with their
co-parent saved years oflitigation.
So you know, just a differentway of communicating helped
(10:42):
prevent years of litigation andthat really reinforced my belief
in the power of education andstorytelling that's going to
transform how people approachthe divorce process.
Charlie McDermott (10:56):
Yeah, yeah.
So your listeners, you're doingsomething a bit unique here in
that you're looking forengagement, obviously and I know
this podcast is going to appeara lot of different platforms
you know the obvious Apple andAmazon and Spotify and social
(11:17):
media but you also have a textnumber I'll call it where your
listeners can engage.
They might have questions, theymight have other topic ideas
that they would love to hear youmaybe expand upon, maybe they
have guest suggestions.
So I'm going to share thatnumber with everyone real quick
and then we'll make sure weinclude this number, you know,
(11:39):
in in all the show notes and soforth.
So the area code is443-726-4912, that's
443-726-4912, and you can textthat number and you will hear
back, uh, Cary and and her, andwe can even, you know, have a
(12:02):
special section in futurepodcasts Cary, if you're cool
with that where you can actuallygive credit if that individual
wants credit for bringing up atopic or has a specific question
.
So, with that, what are youmost excited about?
Cary Jacobson (12:18):
you know, as this journey begins here, I am so
excited to build a community ofsupport where listeners can feel
heard, they can gain practicalknowledge and hopefully leave
inspired to approach theirchallenge with more courage and
grace.
Through you know, throughoutthis process, yeah, yeah.
Charlie McDermott (12:40):
And it is this process, yeah, yeah, and it
is a process, I would imagine.
So, for someone tuning in now,whether it's a few months from
now, a few years from now whatpiece of advice would you give
them that maybe could help themthrough this tough time that
(13:01):
they're going through?
Cary Jacobson (13:03):
I think, first and foremost is simply knowing
that you're not alone and thatchoosing to go through a divorce
or having to go through adivorce because even if you
weren't the one to make thatchoice doesn't define who you
are and it's really justsomething that has to happen.
It doesn't have to define yourfuture.
So just take it one step at atime.
(13:26):
Focus on what you can controlyourself and then lean into
those resources that can reallysupport you through that process
.
Charlie McDermott (13:38):
Awesome, Awesome.
How about listeners who want toconnect, want to learn more?
What's the best way for them todo so?
Cary Jacobson (13:44):
Yeah, so they can go to the website, which is
jacobsonfamilylawcom, or theycan find us on pretty much any
social media channel and or textwith any suggestions for topics
, anything anybody would like usto cover.
Charlie McDermott (14:02):
Awesome.
And again that number is443-726-4912.
Harry, final thought, Anythingelse you'd like to share as we
kick off Divorce Diaries?
Cary Jacobson (14:16):
Really just that.
Divorce is a journey.
It's not a specific destination.
I hope that Divorce Diariesbecomes a trusted companion
along the way and that we offerencouragement and wisdom, and
thank you all for tuning in.
Charlie McDermott (14:35):
Well, thank you, Cary, congratulations and
looking forward to what you'recreating here.
Cary Jacobson (14:41):
Thank you, Cary, congratulations and looking
forward to what you're creatinghere.
Intro/Close speaker (14:43):
Thank you so much.
Thanks for joining us today onthis episode of Divorce Diaries.
Remember, every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit JacobsonFamilyLawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
welcome to divorce diaries, where Cary
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Charlie McDermott (00:24):
Well, welcome audience.
And yes, I am Cary Jacobson,thank goodness.
I'm actually the producer ofthe show and, Cary, I'm excited
for you.
I know this is a project thathas been on your list for quite
some time and really I'm honoredto bring this out to your
audience.
It's obviously something thatyou're passionate about and the
(00:45):
public at large can use youradvice and your knowledge.
So again, congratulations, Cary.
Cary Jacobson (00:52):
Thank you so much .
Charlie McDermott (00:53):
And for those of you wondering who this guy
is, by the way, I am part-timeco-host today and then I'm back
behind the scenes.
I actually produce the show.
But let's start, Cary.
Let's start this.
Your first episode with youhave an audience already, I know
, but there are folks who, maybefor the first time, are just
(01:15):
getting to know you.
Why don't you share yourbackground?
Cary Jacobson (01:19):
Absolutely.
Thanks for hosting, and I CaryJacobson.
I'm a family law attorney andmediator located in Maryland.
I have my own practice,Jacobson Family Law, and we are
a virtual practice servingclients all across Maryland, and
(01:41):
I really just have a passionfor helping people navigate the
divorce process in a lessadversarial way and hoping to
guide people along that process.
Charlie McDermott (01:55):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I call this episode thewhy episode, because I really
think it's important.
Whether you own a business oryou're passionate about
something, there's usuallysomething driving you.
You know that inspiration.
We'll call it what.
What is it, Cary, that hasinspired you to start Divorce
Diaries?
Cary Jacobson (02:15):
Well, you know, even though we have educational
content already out there, Ithink this is just another
format to educate people, and Iknow that divorce can be super
overwhelming.
But I want to create a space toshare stories from
(02:35):
professionals and practicaladvice so that people know how
to handle their own situationwith as much confidence, as
clarity as possible, know how tohandle their own situation with
as much confidence, as clarityas possible, and know that
(02:55):
divorce doesn't have to be, youknow, super confrontational,
conflictual.
There are ways to make it moreamicable.
Charlie McDermott (03:00):
Yeah, yeah, that's a great message to get
out there.
Yeah, yeah, that's a greatmessage to get out there and,
I'm sure, kind of eases thefeelings of many who are
(03:22):
thinking about it.
And I know my perspective.
Before I, it always seemed likethis you know headbutting, you
know I'm going to get you typeof a you know situation which,
in that case, I'm sure you'll bethe first one to say no one
wins Right.
Cary Jacobson (03:49):
And it's yeah.
So how about your, yourpersonal or professional
experience?
How has that shaped yourperspective on divorce and
relationships?
Yeah, so I started out mycareer in family law in the
typical litigation space.
You know where we did see howmuch of a toll litigation took
(04:09):
on families.
Just you know the partiesthemselves, which then trickles
down to the kids who areinvolved in the process and
realizing how toxic it reallytruly is.
And then it doesn't have to bethat way and so, yeah, you know
really being in it.
(04:30):
You know not even being a partyto the process, but also you
know representing people in thedivorce.
I felt the anxiety of thefrustration and the conflict, so
I can only imagine what myclients were feeling, having to
go through it personally.
Right, like I'm theprofessional doing this and I'm
(04:51):
having these feelings.
So they must be having thesefeelings, and I have been
mediation trained for a longtime and just realized that
that's where I wanted to focusour practice.
I wanted to work with thoseclients who wanted a better
resolution, and so that's whatwe have been doing now for five
(05:16):
or six years.
Charlie McDermott (05:18):
You make a good point.
We've all been in rooms wherethere's a certain dynamic and
I'm just going to say a negativedynamic that just infects you.
And I'm just going to say anegative dynamic that just
infects you.
Right, it's.
It's got to be challenging toto be in a situation where one
or two parties are very in manycases, rightly so, you know
(05:42):
negative.
Cary Jacobson (05:50):
And you got to bring that home with you, right,
I mean, or carry it, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not to mention, you know, fromthe professional side also
having to deal with opposingcounsel and how negative that
often felt.
And so, for lifestyle reasons,but also because I really want
to help those clients reachamicable resolutions and do it
(06:11):
in the most efficient waypossible, that's really why we
have tailored our practice theway we have.
Yeah.
Charlie McDermott (06:18):
Love it, love it.
How about your main goal ormission of Divorce Diaries?
Cary Jacobson (06:23):
Yeah.
So what I really want to dowith this podcast is to provide
listeners with actual insightsand real life lessons from
professionals and maybe thosewho have potentially gone
through a divorce, so that theycan navigate their own divorce
while minimizing the drama andfostering healthier outcomes for
everybody involved, boththemselves as well as their
(06:44):
families.
Charlie McDermott (06:46):
So then, Cary , who, would you say then, is
your target audience?
I mean, who are you speaking to?
Cary Jacobson (06:53):
So I would say it's primarily for those who are
going through a divorce orseparation, those who may be
contemplating it, but it also isgoing to be for those
professionals who are workingwith people in the divorce world
.
You know those financialplanners, coaches, therapists,
the divorce world.
You know those financialplanners, coaches, therapists,
(07:14):
so that they know how to directtheir clients on the best, you
know, approaches.
Charlie McDermott (07:19):
About topics.
What can listeners expect tohear about and learn about in
future episodes?
Cary Jacobson (07:27):
Yeah, so we're going to cover things like
co-parenting challenges, dealingwith financial planning both
during and post-divorce, how tobe emotionally resilient, real
life stories about what worksand what doesn't, so things that
may have gone better if theyhad done it a different way.
Charlie McDermott (07:51):
Yeah, you know it's interesting.
You mentioned that I was privyto an episode before this,
because we're kind of.
You know, it's like Hollywoodhere we're filming out of
sequence and we're actuallydoing the first episode after
we've done other episodes.
But, you know, one of the oneof you I won't, you know, reveal
(08:11):
anything here, but what reallyresonated with me was she was
talking about situations wheresomeone was already divorced and
kind of settled or gave in andthen, years down the road, that
individual looked back and waslike holy cow, what was I
thinking at the time?
You know, financially, I guesshe or she was not in a great
(08:35):
place.
So I think those are valuablelessons to hear as you're maybe
making a decision and making theright decision.
All right, I'm going to.
I'm going to refocus before Igive give away future episodes
here.
I'm going to refocus before Igive away future episodes here,
jeez, before you send me back toproducing here.
So what do you think makes thispodcast unique compared to
(08:59):
other resources that are outthere about divorce?
Cary Jacobson (09:02):
Yeah, it's going to bring together both those
professionals and those reallife stories things that we have
, you know, seen whenrepresenting clients throughout
the process not just tohighlight the problems but also
focus on some of the solutions.
You know, it's going to begrounded in honesty and the
(09:34):
belief that every challengepresents an opportunity to grow
from it, and we hope thatclients will, or listeners will,
take those lessons and addressthem in their particular
situation.
Charlie McDermott (09:41):
Yeah, but you make a good point.
I mean whether they'relisteners, clients, potential
clients.
You know, and I know you'refocused in the state of Maryland
, but I'm sure there areindividuals from outside of the
state that will pick up somegreat tips and information and
I'm sure there are otherwonderful attorneys outside of
(10:01):
Maryland, maybe not quite asgood as you, but you know that
can help.
Cary Jacobson (10:06):
How about?
Charlie McDermott (10:07):
is there a particular moment or story in
your life that you know thatmade you realize this podcast
was something that you needed todo?
Cary Jacobson (10:17):
again is just a different mode of educational
content, but really what set itfor me was that clients once
shared how a simple shift intheir communication with their
co-parent saved years oflitigation.
So you know, just a differentway of communicating helped
(10:42):
prevent years of litigation andthat really reinforced my belief
in the power of education andstorytelling that's going to
transform how people approachthe divorce process.
Charlie McDermott (10:56):
Yeah, yeah.
So your listeners, you're doingsomething a bit unique here in
that you're looking forengagement, obviously and I know
this podcast is going to appeara lot of different platforms
you know the obvious Apple andAmazon and Spotify and social
(11:17):
media but you also have a textnumber I'll call it where your
listeners can engage.
They might have questions, theymight have other topic ideas
that they would love to hear youmaybe expand upon, maybe they
have guest suggestions.
So I'm going to share thatnumber with everyone real quick
and then we'll make sure weinclude this number, you know,
(11:39):
in in all the show notes and soforth.
So the area code is443-726-4912, that's
443-726-4912, and you can textthat number and you will hear
back, uh, Cary and and her, andwe can even, you know, have a
(12:02):
special section in futurepodcasts Cary, if you're cool
with that where you can actuallygive credit if that individual
wants credit for bringing up atopic or has a specific question
.
So, with that, what are youmost excited about?
Cary Jacobson (12:18):
you know, as this journey begins here, I am so
excited to build a community ofsupport where listeners can feel
heard, they can gain practicalknowledge and hopefully leave
inspired to approach theirchallenge with more courage and
grace.
Through you know, throughoutthis process, yeah, yeah.
Charlie McDermott (12:40):
And it is this process, yeah, yeah, and it
is a process, I would imagine.
So, for someone tuning in now,whether it's a few months from
now, a few years from now whatpiece of advice would you give
them that maybe could help themthrough this tough time that
(13:01):
they're going through?
Cary Jacobson (13:03):
I think, first and foremost is simply knowing
that you're not alone and thatchoosing to go through a divorce
or having to go through adivorce because even if you
weren't the one to make thatchoice doesn't define who you
are and it's really justsomething that has to happen.
It doesn't have to define yourfuture.
So just take it one step at atime.
(13:26):
Focus on what you can controlyourself and then lean into
those resources that can reallysupport you through that process
.
Charlie McDermott (13:38):
Awesome, Awesome.
How about listeners who want toconnect, want to learn more?
What's the best way for them todo so?
Cary Jacobson (13:44):
Yeah, so they can go to the website, which is
jacobsonfamilylawcom, or theycan find us on pretty much any
social media channel and or textwith any suggestions for topics
, anything anybody would like usto cover.
Charlie McDermott (14:02):
Awesome.
And again that number is443-726-4912.
Harry, final thought, Anythingelse you'd like to share as we
kick off Divorce Diaries?
Cary Jacobson (14:16):
Really just that.
Divorce is a journey.
It's not a specific destination.
I hope that Divorce Diariesbecomes a trusted companion
along the way and that we offerencouragement and wisdom, and
thank you all for tuning in.
Charlie McDermott (14:35):
Well, thank you, Cary, congratulations and
looking forward to what you'recreating here.
Cary Jacobson (14:41):
Thank you, Cary, congratulations and looking
forward to what you're creatinghere.
Intro/Close speaker (14:43):
Thank you so much.
Thanks for joining us today onthis episode of Divorce Diaries.
Remember, every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit JacobsonFamilyLawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
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