May 20, 2025 • 29 mins
The financial intricacies of college planning become exponentially more complex when divorce enters the picture. In this episode, host Cary Jacobson sits down with Vicki Vollweiler, founder of College Financial Prep and a divorced parent herself, as she reveals game-changing strategies that can potentially save families hundreds of thousands of dollars in college costs.
Ready to transform your approach to college planning during or after divorce? Visit collegefinancialprep.com to learn how proper planning can dramatically reduce your family's college expenses while creating a cooperative framework between separated parents that puts your child's educational future first.
Visit jacobsonfamilylaw.com to learn more.
Visit jacobsonworkshop.com to learn more.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
you have FAFSA and then you have what's called the
CSS profile.
So most schools not all schools, but most schools that require
the CSS profile will look forthe information from both
parents and if both parents areremarried, they could be looking
for the information from allfour parents.
So they will look for who's thecustodial parent and who's the
(00:25):
non-custodial parent, and wewant to make sure that dives
with how the FAFSA applicationis being completed.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where attorney Carrie
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
And practical advice onnavigating divorce and family
law, whether you're goingthrough it, considering it or
(00:54):
just curious this is your placefor clarity, confidence and
resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Welcome back to Divorce Diaries Lessons from the
Trenches.
I'm your host, keri Jacobson,and this podcast is all about
sharing real-world divorceexperiences and lessons learned
to help you navigate your ownjourney with more confidence and
less stress.
I'm thrilled today to have ourguest, vicki Bohlweiler, with us
(01:19):
today.
She is the founder and CEO ofCollege Financial Prep, where
she provides a full range ofcollege funding and admission
services for families.
As both a college planningexpert and a divorce financial
coach, she helps parentsnavigate financial aid,
scholarships, student loans andcollege planning.
Her goal is to ensure thatparents and students are fully
(01:40):
informed about their options sothat they can make the best
decisions for their future.
Vicki is also a divorced parentherself, and so she understands
firsthand the challenges thatcome along with balancing
divorce finances and collegeplanning.
She's the proud mom of twochildren, one currently pursuing
a PhD and another who isprepping for college soon.
(02:02):
And, of course, her fur baby,maggie, who enjoys, brings joy
to everyone she meets.
So thanks so much for beinghere, vicki.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Oh, you're very welcome.
I'm glad to be here today,awesome.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Well, tell us a little bit about how you.
What inspired you to establishCollege Financial Prep?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Oh gosh, it goes back .
You know I'm a divorced mom.
I went through it.
I've been through the collegeplanning process personally,
professionally.
I remember with my own, when wewere prepping, lots of stuff
was happening.
I mean I'd already beendivorced a number of years but
(02:43):
they were like downwardmodifications, they were just
changes, things happening.
So you know it's an emotionaltime, it's a financial time and
I remember navigating through itall, thinking like people don't
necessarily know which way togo.
I remember talking to parentsand before I formed college
(03:04):
financial prep, yes, I washelping people.
You know, divorce financialside and clients were also
saying to me they're like well,how am I going to save money on
the cost of college?
And just everything cametogether and College Financial
Prep was born.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Okay, so were you working with divorced or
divorcing people before thecollege planning process?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yes, so I'm certified as a divorce coach.
I only focused on the personalfinancial side, not necessarily
the emotional side, but thereason that I chose the college
piece.
You know, yes, people will tellyou, oh, save money, you don't
(03:45):
need to drink a coffee.
Every you know, get a coffeeevery day.
College, with college, I mean,I've literally helped.
Not, it doesn't happen foreveryone, but some clients have
literally saved hundreds ofthousands of dollars on college.
So it is fabulous to see theimpact that the work that I do
with the families can have onthem and their finances.
(04:09):
And talking about reducingfinancial stress, but but yeah,
so it's fabulous when thathappens.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
That's amazing.
We may have to dive deeper intosome of those examples.
How does financial aid processdiffer for a divorced or
separated parents compared tocouples that, may you know, be
married?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
So it depends on which schools the student is
applying to, and that's a bigpart of the work that I do with
the parents and the student isguiding them towards which
schools will be a better fitfinancially for them and which
one will you know which will beable to provide more funding.
(04:58):
So the FAFSA form is typicallymeant for one household.
So, assuming the parents are inseparate households, it's meant
for one household.
Typically it is the parent whoprovides more financial support
for the child.
That completes the FAFSA.
Now it used to be the custodialparent, Now it's worded as the
(05:21):
parent who provides morefinancial support, and that
could be either parent and itreally has nothing to do with
the amount of child supportthat's paid.
It's really which parent isjust spending more on that child
.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
How do couples or parents, separated or even
together, determine?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
who that is.
Well, yeah, so it's not goingto be for a married couple.
But I'll sit down with theparents and I usually have like
a questionnaire.
I'm very careful I do not shareanything with the other parent,
especially, you know, ifthey're already divorced.
They don't need to be privy toeach other's current finances.
But yeah, I'll go through itwith the parents to, you know,
(06:04):
figure out what theirpreferences are and figure out
the numbers and let's see, let'ssee what makes the most sense.
Ok, so there's no like easyanswer, but I guess it's, you
know, line item and seeing who'sspending what, and they may not
want to share it with eachother.
But you know, I'm certainlythat neutral third party that
(06:25):
you know.
I work with them to planstrategy and make sure it makes
sense moving forward.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Right, and obviously they're inclined to share that
information with you if you'regoing to end up saving the
family, definitely Tens ofthousands of dollars, yeah.
So does it matter anymore whothe custodial parent is, or does
?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
that not make a difference when they're
determining this.
So, like I said earlier aboutthe schools, it could make a
difference because there's morethan one financial aid
application.
So you have FAFSA and then youhave what's called the CSS
profile.
So you have FAFSA and then youhave what's called the CSS
(07:21):
profile.
So most schools not all schools, but most schools that require
the CSS profile will look forthe information from both
parents and and who's thenon-custodial parent.
And we want to make sure thatjives with how the FAFSA
application is being completedand just want to make sure you
know whoever's filling that.
Just need to make sure it allfollows through.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Okay, so it's not as if one parent can fill out one
form and the other parent canfill out the other form.
They all need to be filled outand meshed with one another so
that there's no confusion andissue once it gets to the
respective schools.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Right it should.
The CSS profile will assumethat the custodial parent is the
parent who spends more for eachchild.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Okay, that makes sense.
Are there strategies divorcedparents can use to maximize
need-based financial aid fortheir children?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Again, I guess it depends on the individual
parents, their incomes.
So literally, I was justworking with a couple who was
separating and you know we weretalking about this, and they're
a few years away from theirchild actually going to college.
(08:45):
It's important for parents toboth agree to participate in the
financial aid forms that areneeded.
That's first off.
I've seen times where oneparent doesn't participate, even
though both parents arerequested to, and the school
refuses to give anything becauseboth parents aren't
participating.
You know, is there something todo up front?
(09:09):
Have very different incomelevels.
It may be possible to do someplanning in advance and figure
out which parent should be theparent that provides more
support for the student, youknow, and ways to tweak.
(09:32):
You know I'm not an attorney soI'm not going to say what they
should do legally, but you knowit's important to think about
and talk about that with theirattorney.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Okay, how early do you recommend parents come to
you for the college planningprocess?
Is this a my kid's going toschool next fall?
So here we are.
You know the spring beforehand.
Let's do it now, or should theybe looking you know earlier
(10:04):
freshman, sophomore year, thatsort of thing?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Well, I've had some clients come to me when they're
separating and the kids were inelementary school.
You know, whenever college ison their mind, that's when they
should, should, reach out.
Um, typically I deal with mostclients when the students are in
11th grade, early 12th grade,and that's when we're working
(10:32):
with the students and thefamilies.
You know, putting together thecollege list, that, um, I have a
college advisor who works withme and they're helping with
developing the college list forthe student's perspective, the
academic and the social side ofit.
They're helping with the CommonApp, they're helping with the
essays.
We also have test prep tutors,but then with me we're looking
(10:55):
at everything from the financialside.
So it's also the college listand making sure that there are
schools that are good financialfit.
It's the financial aid form,preparing the financial aid
forms.
It's searching for scholarships, it's filing appeals, because
if people are getting divorced,a lot can have changed, may have
(11:15):
changed since their tax returnwas last filed, may have changed
since their tax return was lastfiled.
And then it's helping them withstudent loans and with divorced
parents not everybodynecessarily has a college in
their agreement and it's helpingboth parents.
You know, navigate the processtogether, side by side and, you
(11:36):
know, just managing all themoving pieces so that
everybody's on the same page.
Everybody is well informed.
I'm never going to tell anybodywhere their student should go
to school just because it's thecheapest, but I want everybody
to be informed so that way theycan make the best decisions for
themselves and their students.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Absolutely, because every scenario is so different
and what they value is sodifferent exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Everyone has different goals for their kids
and where they should go toschool.
Um, you know some people thatyou know you would think can can
afford to pay full.
You know the full price.
No, they, they have a specificbudget in mind.
Other people, they want thebest name, but they may need to
take out student loans for that.
You know.
(12:27):
I just want everybody to beinformed of.
You know somebody that needs tois going to need student loans.
I want them to know full wellwhat, what the impact that
that's going to have before theymake their their final decision
.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Absolutely, because making sure that they know
exactly what they're gettinginto for the long run Exactly.
You mentioned before that youknow, when we're working with
divorced parents, that they haveto kind of work with one
another.
How crucial is communicationbetween divorced parents when
planning for their child'scollege expenses, and do you
(12:58):
have any tips for them tofacilitate those discussions?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
So ideally they will have discussed college when
they're putting together theirdivorce agreement, which may
have been many years ago andsometimes that's not the case
and it's brand new.
Sometimes I'll work withclients they could have been
divorced for 10 years and I'llhelp them put together a
(13:24):
memorandum of understanding,just strictly as it relates to
the college portion, and thenthey can either, you know, have
it notarized on their own or, ifthey want to be more formal,
they can take it to theirattorney, you know, to have it
more formalized and submitted tothe court.
So I'll help with, you know,all the moving pieces there.
(13:48):
You know, sometimes people Ilive in New York.
In New York we have what'scalled the SUNY standard State
University of New York standardwhich means that both parents
are responsible for the cost ofan in-state school.
Some other states have that aswell.
Some other states don't havecollege at all.
I'll help the families projectthe college costs before they
(14:13):
send in applications so that wayyou know everybody can see what
type of numbers we're dealingwith and try to get on the same
page.
You know, again, I want them tobe informed every step of the
way.
So that way you know we're allmoving ahead together.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Right, I think one thing to point out.
You mentioned the SUNY standard.
So I'm located in Maryland andbasically in Maryland we do not
have a requirement that parentspay for college of any sort and
that child support terminatesupon a child either turning 18
or graduating high school.
And I know in many states thatis different and you know,
(14:53):
sometimes child support will gothrough until a child, you know,
finishes college.
So I think that's justsomething for our listeners to
be aware of.
That it varies from state tostate and so in Maryland it's
very common for people not tohave a college provision in
their agreement becauseotherwise they're basically
(15:15):
contractually binding themselvesto paying for something that
they otherwise would not have to.
That being said, you know many.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
My hope is that if college is in the student's
future, you know that bothparents are, you know, want to
do what's in the best interestof the child and supporting the
student and talking about it.
And let's talk about it.
And, you know, not everycollege has to be, you know,
close to $100,000 a year.
There are other ways, but it isimportant to know that freshman
(15:52):
year, you know, some peoplethink well, you know, let the
student pay for it.
And really, students can onlytake out $5,500 in federal
student loans.
They can take out a privateloan but it's going to require a
parent to co-sign.
So, you know, parents should beaware of this before they go in
.
And I also always encourageparents to speak with their
(16:16):
children while they're in highschool about college, Not to
share your income or your assetsyou know your retirement
accounts or anything like thatbut maybe say this is what we
have saved for college, this iswhat we can afford, this is what
our budget is, so let's planfor that.
I think it's very important tohave those conversations with
(16:37):
the kids sooner rather thanlater.
I've seen too much heartachetowards the end of 12th grade
where the students are upsetthat they can't go to whatever
school their heart was set on,and then the parents are upset
that they can't do it for thechildren and it's much easier to
have the conversation earlier.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Would 100 percent agree with that, and I do think
that people who are over acertain age are not maybe
necessarily aware that kids canno longer take out as much in
student loans.
You know that my kids are notquite of college age but I this
is something I have heard alittle bit more about and you
(17:16):
know, back when I was going tocollege all of the student loans
were in my name.
You know, very rarely was it ina parent's name and I know that
that has been a large shift andI think is going to surprise a
lot of parents as their kidsbegin to that application
process.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
The cost of college is, you know, keeps going up,
and the federal student loanshaven't.
So it's just, it's not possible.
I mean, with the private loansthey can, you know, but then the
the parents name is on it.
So then what happens?
You know, if the studentdoesn't pay it back, it can
(17:56):
impact the parent's credit.
Just something to think about.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
You mentioned earlier about appealing a decision If a
family's financial situationhappens to change.
You know post-course, you knowI work with a lot of parents
whose kids have gone off tocollege and now they're in that
divorce process.
So you know we've got kids incollege already.
Parents are now gettingdivorced.
What steps can parents take topotentially appeal a financial
decision if their financialsituation has changed?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah, well, it's definitely possible.
Some people don't realize thatI've had clients where they've
saved an additional $10,000 persemester just because of divorce
.
So just so everybodyunderstands, um, so, right now,
for next school year, for the25-26 academic school year,
we're using 2023 tax returns.
(18:52):
So how much can change in ahousehold since 2023?
So a lot it's.
You know.
Heaven forbid somebody gets hitby a bus.
Whatever it is that causes afinancial shift downward can be
(19:13):
appealed with the colleges and,based on you know, they'll
reassess it.
And yeah, it is possible tosave money, you know.
You know, either somebody likeme can help.
There are going to beadditional forms to complete,
you know.
So that's it, you know.
(19:33):
You could just even simply callthe financial aid office.
But yeah, it is possible to doit and it's important to do it,
especially if you've had thatchange.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Okay, In your experience, what would you say
is a common mistake you haveseen people make during the
divorce process as it relates tocollege planning, and what
would you have recommended thatthey do to prevent that?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I've seen people, even though they're divorced,
still combine their income witha former spouse and listed on
fafsa.
So that's a big one that theydon't realize that.
You know, no, it's only oneparent now and that can really
help them financially, right?
Um, when the fafsa form getssubmitted, um, you have two
(20:22):
chances of saving money.
First is through the government.
The government's going toreview the application to see if
you qualify for any federalfinancial aid.
But then the FAFSA form getssubmitted to the colleges and
they review it to see if they'regoing to offer any need-based
aid.
So, certainly, by adding asecond parent to it is not going
to help, right?
(20:43):
Yeah, the more money you have,the less aid you're likely to
get on a need-based um scenario,right?
So, even if in in you know wewere talking about, before you
know, 2023 parents filed married, filing jointly, and they
(21:04):
submit the application, um, yeah, that's it's important to
appeal and say no, no, no, it'sjust, you know, one income now,
right.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Okay.
Do you have any advice forthose single parents who are
navigating the college financialplanning process on their own,
whether the other parents justnot in the picture or whether
they just refuse to participate?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
It's.
My recommendation is you startwith the college list.
It's very important to apply tothe right schools that are
going to give the most money.
You know, if you apply to allschools that are, you know I'm
making this up $90,000 a yearand they're not known to give
any money, how is it going to bedoable?
So yeah, the college list isvery important.
You know, thinking about itearly on in planning.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
So we're going to go back to that teaser that you led
us with earlier.
Can you share a success storywhere a family significantly
benefited from your guidance inthe college planning process?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Oh, sure, okay, one right now that I'm.
You know family that I'mworking with.
This is a family that thefamily's divorced, one parent is
remarried Because of thefinancials and the way it all
(22:30):
played out.
Just for a freshman year theyalready saved over $50,000 on
the cost of college at a privateschool.
But over four years that's over$200,000.
And you know I don't want tosay it happens all the time, but
yeah, it happens often enoughthat, yeah, they're saving
(22:50):
hundreds of thousands of dollars.
You know there are.
You have to apply to the rightschools.
Yeah, the child has to get intothe right schools.
You have to.
You know the child and thefamily have to decide.
You know that one's it and thefamily have to decide.
(23:12):
You know that one's it.
You know, I understand collegeisn't just all about finances.
You know it's also an emotionaldecision.
It's also.
But you know, depending on thefamily and your shared goals and
values, and perhaps you knowthe career direction that the
student is headed.
You know what makes the mostsense.
So, yeah, I want to takeeverything into account.
But yeah, definitely ispossible.
(23:32):
But again, it starts with thecollege list.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah, no, and that's that's not a one shot.
I mean, it happens often enough.
Yeah, and it's great when ithappens.
I love seeing it Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
If you could leave our listeners with one key
takeaway about divorce andcollege financial planning, what
would it be?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
I know it's being divorced so much easier for
everyone is a stressfulemotional time as it is, and you
add divorce situations on topof it, um, it just makes it
harder.
So you know, my hope is that,as difficult as it is, for
everyone to be as amicable aspossible.
You know, moving forward yeah,a hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
And I would add there that you know, even though it
may not end up being part of alegal document, I would
recommend, if people are havingstruggles in communicating, try
mediation, to have that thirdparty to help guide the process
and the discussion, whether it'swith someone like yourself in
(25:07):
the planning process or you knowsomeone like me who is a
mediator, just to have the youknow the open discussion without
the you know the negative backand forth, so that you can get
on the same page, so that yourstudent has a better experience.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah, what I found is that it usually helps to have,
when I'm working with clientswhether they're in my office,
whether we're on Zoom together,whatever it is, because I work
with clients nationally thateverybody, that everybody, that
both parents are able to askquestions and we're able to hold
a discussion with both parentstogether.
(25:51):
You know, that way there's nowell, that's just what he says,
or that's just what she says.
You know that they're actuallygetting the information directly
from me and then they can askfollow-up questions and it helps
to get everybody on the samepage, you know.
So, whether it's whether it's aone session appointment,
whether it's, you know, a full,you know engagement for senior
(26:14):
year, it definitely helps.
There's I'm thinking about one,one family that I'm working with
right now, you know, and theparents are divorced and I know
that they were considering avery high level school.
Definitely there were.
You know, one parent waspushing for this school and this
(26:35):
was early on in the process.
They were, they wanted to applyearly decision, which means
you're committing to the schoolright and the other parent was
very hesitant because didn'tknow what costs were.
And you know, we spoke about alot of topics and ultimately we
worked with the school to get anearly read, so that way they
were able to make the bestdecision together, moving
(26:56):
forward and get on the same page.
So you know, it's very nice tosee when everybody can come
together.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Absolutely, and the experience for everyone will be
better when they can do that.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Yes, certainly the child too.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
When that's, that's honestly who, who we're most
focused on, so that's that's whoneeds to have the better
experience.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Well, vicki.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
This has been such aneye-opening conversation and
thank you for sharing yourexpertise and providing so many
actual insights for ourlisteners.
For those of you who want toconnect with Vicki or learn more
about how to save money oncollege costs, visit her website
at collegefinancialprepcom, andwe'll also include a link in
(27:49):
the show notes For our listeners.
If you found today's episodehelpful, please subscribe, leave
us a review and share thisepisode with someone who may
benefit.
Remember, divorce doesn't haveto be a disaster.
Learning from the lessons ofothers can help you make smarter
decisions and avoid theunnecessary drama.
Thanks for tuning in today onDivorce Diaries Lessons from the
(28:10):
Trenches Until next time.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Thanks for joining us today on this episode of
Divorce Diaries.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit JacobsonFamilyLawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
you have FAFSA and then you have what's called the
CSS profile.
So most schools not all schools, but most schools that require
the CSS profile will look forthe information from both
parents and if both parents areremarried, they could be looking
for the information from allfour parents.
So they will look for who's thecustodial parent and who's the
(00:25):
non-custodial parent, and wewant to make sure that dives
with how the FAFSA applicationis being completed.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where attorney Carrie
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
And practical advice onnavigating divorce and family
law, whether you're goingthrough it, considering it or
(00:54):
just curious this is your placefor clarity, confidence and
resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Welcome back to Divorce Diaries Lessons from the
Trenches.
I'm your host, keri Jacobson,and this podcast is all about
sharing real-world divorceexperiences and lessons learned
to help you navigate your ownjourney with more confidence and
less stress.
I'm thrilled today to have ourguest, vicki Bohlweiler, with us
(01:19):
today.
She is the founder and CEO ofCollege Financial Prep, where
she provides a full range ofcollege funding and admission
services for families.
As both a college planningexpert and a divorce financial
coach, she helps parentsnavigate financial aid,
scholarships, student loans andcollege planning.
Her goal is to ensure thatparents and students are fully
(01:40):
informed about their options sothat they can make the best
decisions for their future.
Vicki is also a divorced parentherself, and so she understands
firsthand the challenges thatcome along with balancing
divorce finances and collegeplanning.
She's the proud mom of twochildren, one currently pursuing
a PhD and another who isprepping for college soon.
(02:02):
And, of course, her fur baby,maggie, who enjoys, brings joy
to everyone she meets.
So thanks so much for beinghere, vicki.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Oh, you're very welcome.
I'm glad to be here today,awesome.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Well, tell us a little bit about how you.
What inspired you to establishCollege Financial Prep?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Oh gosh, it goes back .
You know I'm a divorced mom.
I went through it.
I've been through the collegeplanning process personally,
professionally.
I remember with my own, when wewere prepping, lots of stuff
was happening.
I mean I'd already beendivorced a number of years but
(02:43):
they were like downwardmodifications, they were just
changes, things happening.
So you know it's an emotionaltime, it's a financial time and
I remember navigating through itall, thinking like people don't
necessarily know which way togo.
I remember talking to parentsand before I formed college
(03:04):
financial prep, yes, I washelping people.
You know, divorce financialside and clients were also
saying to me they're like well,how am I going to save money on
the cost of college?
And just everything cametogether and College Financial
Prep was born.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Okay, so were you working with divorced or
divorcing people before thecollege planning process?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yes, so I'm certified as a divorce coach.
I only focused on the personalfinancial side, not necessarily
the emotional side, but thereason that I chose the college
piece.
You know, yes, people will tellyou, oh, save money, you don't
(03:45):
need to drink a coffee.
Every you know, get a coffeeevery day.
College, with college, I mean,I've literally helped.
Not, it doesn't happen foreveryone, but some clients have
literally saved hundreds ofthousands of dollars on college.
So it is fabulous to see theimpact that the work that I do
with the families can have onthem and their finances.
(04:09):
And talking about reducingfinancial stress, but but yeah,
so it's fabulous when thathappens.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
That's amazing.
We may have to dive deeper intosome of those examples.
How does financial aid processdiffer for a divorced or
separated parents compared tocouples that, may you know, be
married?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
So it depends on which schools the student is
applying to, and that's a bigpart of the work that I do with
the parents and the student isguiding them towards which
schools will be a better fitfinancially for them and which
one will you know which will beable to provide more funding.
(04:58):
So the FAFSA form is typicallymeant for one household.
So, assuming the parents are inseparate households, it's meant
for one household.
Typically it is the parent whoprovides more financial support
for the child.
That completes the FAFSA.
Now it used to be the custodialparent, Now it's worded as the
(05:21):
parent who provides morefinancial support, and that
could be either parent and itreally has nothing to do with
the amount of child supportthat's paid.
It's really which parent isjust spending more on that child
.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
How do couples or parents, separated or even
together, determine?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
who that is.
Well, yeah, so it's not goingto be for a married couple.
But I'll sit down with theparents and I usually have like
a questionnaire.
I'm very careful I do not shareanything with the other parent,
especially, you know, ifthey're already divorced.
They don't need to be privy toeach other's current finances.
But yeah, I'll go through itwith the parents to, you know,
(06:04):
figure out what theirpreferences are and figure out
the numbers and let's see, let'ssee what makes the most sense.
Ok, so there's no like easyanswer, but I guess it's, you
know, line item and seeing who'sspending what, and they may not
want to share it with eachother.
But you know, I'm certainlythat neutral third party that
(06:25):
you know.
I work with them to planstrategy and make sure it makes
sense moving forward.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Right, and obviously they're inclined to share that
information with you if you'regoing to end up saving the
family, definitely Tens ofthousands of dollars, yeah.
So does it matter anymore whothe custodial parent is, or does
?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
that not make a difference when they're
determining this.
So, like I said earlier aboutthe schools, it could make a
difference because there's morethan one financial aid
application.
So you have FAFSA and then youhave what's called the CSS
profile.
So you have FAFSA and then youhave what's called the CSS
(07:21):
profile.
So most schools not all schools, but most schools that require
the CSS profile will look forthe information from both
parents and and who's thenon-custodial parent.
And we want to make sure thatjives with how the FAFSA
application is being completedand just want to make sure you
know whoever's filling that.
Just need to make sure it allfollows through.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Okay, so it's not as if one parent can fill out one
form and the other parent canfill out the other form.
They all need to be filled outand meshed with one another so
that there's no confusion andissue once it gets to the
respective schools.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Right it should.
The CSS profile will assumethat the custodial parent is the
parent who spends more for eachchild.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Okay, that makes sense.
Are there strategies divorcedparents can use to maximize
need-based financial aid fortheir children?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Again, I guess it depends on the individual
parents, their incomes.
So literally, I was justworking with a couple who was
separating and you know we weretalking about this, and they're
a few years away from theirchild actually going to college.
(08:45):
It's important for parents toboth agree to participate in the
financial aid forms that areneeded.
That's first off.
I've seen times where oneparent doesn't participate, even
though both parents arerequested to, and the school
refuses to give anything becauseboth parents aren't
participating.
You know, is there something todo up front?
(09:09):
Have very different incomelevels.
It may be possible to do someplanning in advance and figure
out which parent should be theparent that provides more
support for the student, youknow, and ways to tweak.
(09:32):
You know I'm not an attorney soI'm not going to say what they
should do legally, but you knowit's important to think about
and talk about that with theirattorney.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Okay, how early do you recommend parents come to
you for the college planningprocess?
Is this a my kid's going toschool next fall?
So here we are.
You know the spring beforehand.
Let's do it now, or should theybe looking you know earlier
(10:04):
freshman, sophomore year, thatsort of thing?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Well, I've had some clients come to me when they're
separating and the kids were inelementary school.
You know, whenever college ison their mind, that's when they
should, should, reach out.
Um, typically I deal with mostclients when the students are in
11th grade, early 12th grade,and that's when we're working
(10:32):
with the students and thefamilies.
You know, putting together thecollege list, that, um, I have a
college advisor who works withme and they're helping with
developing the college list forthe student's perspective, the
academic and the social side ofit.
They're helping with the CommonApp, they're helping with the
essays.
We also have test prep tutors,but then with me we're looking
(10:55):
at everything from the financialside.
So it's also the college listand making sure that there are
schools that are good financialfit.
It's the financial aid form,preparing the financial aid
forms.
It's searching for scholarships, it's filing appeals, because
if people are getting divorced,a lot can have changed, may have
(11:15):
changed since their tax returnwas last filed, may have changed
since their tax return was lastfiled.
And then it's helping them withstudent loans and with divorced
parents not everybodynecessarily has a college in
their agreement and it's helpingboth parents.
You know, navigate the processtogether, side by side and, you
(11:36):
know, just managing all themoving pieces so that
everybody's on the same page.
Everybody is well informed.
I'm never going to tell anybodywhere their student should go
to school just because it's thecheapest, but I want everybody
to be informed so that way theycan make the best decisions for
themselves and their students.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Absolutely, because every scenario is so different
and what they value is sodifferent exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Everyone has different goals for their kids
and where they should go toschool.
Um, you know some people thatyou know you would think can can
afford to pay full.
You know the full price.
No, they, they have a specificbudget in mind.
Other people, they want thebest name, but they may need to
take out student loans for that.
You know.
(12:27):
I just want everybody to beinformed of.
You know somebody that needs tois going to need student loans.
I want them to know full wellwhat, what the impact that
that's going to have before theymake their their final decision
.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Absolutely, because making sure that they know
exactly what they're gettinginto for the long run Exactly.
You mentioned before that youknow, when we're working with
divorced parents, that they haveto kind of work with one
another.
How crucial is communicationbetween divorced parents when
planning for their child'scollege expenses, and do you
(12:58):
have any tips for them tofacilitate those discussions?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
So ideally they will have discussed college when
they're putting together theirdivorce agreement, which may
have been many years ago andsometimes that's not the case
and it's brand new.
Sometimes I'll work withclients they could have been
divorced for 10 years and I'llhelp them put together a
(13:24):
memorandum of understanding,just strictly as it relates to
the college portion, and thenthey can either, you know, have
it notarized on their own or, ifthey want to be more formal,
they can take it to theirattorney, you know, to have it
more formalized and submitted tothe court.
So I'll help with, you know,all the moving pieces there.
(13:48):
You know, sometimes people Ilive in New York.
In New York we have what'scalled the SUNY standard State
University of New York standardwhich means that both parents
are responsible for the cost ofan in-state school.
Some other states have that aswell.
Some other states don't havecollege at all.
I'll help the families projectthe college costs before they
(14:13):
send in applications so that wayyou know everybody can see what
type of numbers we're dealingwith and try to get on the same
page.
You know, again, I want them tobe informed every step of the
way.
So that way you know we're allmoving ahead together.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Right, I think one thing to point out.
You mentioned the SUNY standard.
So I'm located in Maryland andbasically in Maryland we do not
have a requirement that parentspay for college of any sort and
that child support terminatesupon a child either turning 18
or graduating high school.
And I know in many states thatis different and you know,
(14:53):
sometimes child support will gothrough until a child, you know,
finishes college.
So I think that's justsomething for our listeners to
be aware of.
That it varies from state tostate and so in Maryland it's
very common for people not tohave a college provision in
their agreement becauseotherwise they're basically
(15:15):
contractually binding themselvesto paying for something that
they otherwise would not have to.
That being said, you know many.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
My hope is that if college is in the student's
future, you know that bothparents are, you know, want to
do what's in the best interestof the child and supporting the
student and talking about it.
And let's talk about it.
And, you know, not everycollege has to be, you know,
close to $100,000 a year.
There are other ways, but it isimportant to know that freshman
(15:52):
year, you know, some peoplethink well, you know, let the
student pay for it.
And really, students can onlytake out $5,500 in federal
student loans.
They can take out a privateloan but it's going to require a
parent to co-sign.
So, you know, parents should beaware of this before they go in
.
And I also always encourageparents to speak with their
(16:16):
children while they're in highschool about college, Not to
share your income or your assetsyou know your retirement
accounts or anything like thatbut maybe say this is what we
have saved for college, this iswhat we can afford, this is what
our budget is, so let's planfor that.
I think it's very important tohave those conversations with
(16:37):
the kids sooner rather thanlater.
I've seen too much heartachetowards the end of 12th grade
where the students are upsetthat they can't go to whatever
school their heart was set on,and then the parents are upset
that they can't do it for thechildren and it's much easier to
have the conversation earlier.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Would 100 percent agree with that, and I do think
that people who are over acertain age are not maybe
necessarily aware that kids canno longer take out as much in
student loans.
You know that my kids are notquite of college age but I this
is something I have heard alittle bit more about and you
(17:16):
know, back when I was going tocollege all of the student loans
were in my name.
You know, very rarely was it ina parent's name and I know that
that has been a large shift andI think is going to surprise a
lot of parents as their kidsbegin to that application
process.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
The cost of college is, you know, keeps going up,
and the federal student loanshaven't.
So it's just, it's not possible.
I mean, with the private loansthey can, you know, but then the
the parents name is on it.
So then what happens?
You know, if the studentdoesn't pay it back, it can
(17:56):
impact the parent's credit.
Just something to think about.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
You mentioned earlier about appealing a decision If a
family's financial situationhappens to change.
You know post-course, you knowI work with a lot of parents
whose kids have gone off tocollege and now they're in that
divorce process.
So you know we've got kids incollege already.
Parents are now gettingdivorced.
What steps can parents take topotentially appeal a financial
decision if their financialsituation has changed?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah, well, it's definitely possible.
Some people don't realize thatI've had clients where they've
saved an additional $10,000 persemester just because of divorce
.
So just so everybodyunderstands, um, so, right now,
for next school year, for the25-26 academic school year,
we're using 2023 tax returns.
(18:52):
So how much can change in ahousehold since 2023?
So a lot it's.
You know.
Heaven forbid somebody gets hitby a bus.
Whatever it is that causes afinancial shift downward can be
(19:13):
appealed with the colleges and,based on you know, they'll
reassess it.
And yeah, it is possible tosave money, you know.
You know, either somebody likeme can help.
There are going to beadditional forms to complete,
you know.
So that's it, you know.
(19:33):
You could just even simply callthe financial aid office.
But yeah, it is possible to doit and it's important to do it,
especially if you've had thatchange.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Okay, In your experience, what would you say
is a common mistake you haveseen people make during the
divorce process as it relates tocollege planning, and what
would you have recommended thatthey do to prevent that?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I've seen people, even though they're divorced,
still combine their income witha former spouse and listed on
fafsa.
So that's a big one that theydon't realize that.
You know, no, it's only oneparent now and that can really
help them financially, right?
Um, when the fafsa form getssubmitted, um, you have two
(20:22):
chances of saving money.
First is through the government.
The government's going toreview the application to see if
you qualify for any federalfinancial aid.
But then the FAFSA form getssubmitted to the colleges and
they review it to see if they'regoing to offer any need-based
aid.
So, certainly, by adding asecond parent to it is not going
to help, right?
(20:43):
Yeah, the more money you have,the less aid you're likely to
get on a need-based um scenario,right?
So, even if in in you know wewere talking about, before you
know, 2023 parents filed married, filing jointly, and they
(21:04):
submit the application, um, yeah, that's it's important to
appeal and say no, no, no, it'sjust, you know, one income now,
right.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Okay.
Do you have any advice forthose single parents who are
navigating the college financialplanning process on their own,
whether the other parents justnot in the picture or whether
they just refuse to participate?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
It's.
My recommendation is you startwith the college list.
It's very important to apply tothe right schools that are
going to give the most money.
You know, if you apply to allschools that are, you know I'm
making this up $90,000 a yearand they're not known to give
any money, how is it going to bedoable?
So yeah, the college list isvery important.
You know, thinking about itearly on in planning.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
So we're going to go back to that teaser that you led
us with earlier.
Can you share a success storywhere a family significantly
benefited from your guidance inthe college planning process?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Oh, sure, okay, one right now that I'm.
You know family that I'mworking with.
This is a family that thefamily's divorced, one parent is
remarried Because of thefinancials and the way it all
(22:30):
played out.
Just for a freshman year theyalready saved over $50,000 on
the cost of college at a privateschool.
But over four years that's over$200,000.
And you know I don't want tosay it happens all the time, but
yeah, it happens often enoughthat, yeah, they're saving
(22:50):
hundreds of thousands of dollars.
You know there are.
You have to apply to the rightschools.
Yeah, the child has to get intothe right schools.
You have to.
You know the child and thefamily have to decide.
You know that one's it and thefamily have to decide.
(23:12):
You know that one's it.
You know, I understand collegeisn't just all about finances.
You know it's also an emotionaldecision.
It's also.
But you know, depending on thefamily and your shared goals and
values, and perhaps you knowthe career direction that the
student is headed.
You know what makes the mostsense.
So, yeah, I want to takeeverything into account.
But yeah, definitely ispossible.
(23:32):
But again, it starts with thecollege list.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah, no, and that's that's not a one shot.
I mean, it happens often enough.
Yeah, and it's great when ithappens.
I love seeing it Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
If you could leave our listeners with one key
takeaway about divorce andcollege financial planning, what
would it be?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
I know it's being divorced so much easier for
everyone is a stressfulemotional time as it is, and you
add divorce situations on topof it, um, it just makes it
harder.
So you know, my hope is that,as difficult as it is, for
everyone to be as amicable aspossible.
You know, moving forward yeah,a hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
And I would add there that you know, even though it
may not end up being part of alegal document, I would
recommend, if people are havingstruggles in communicating, try
mediation, to have that thirdparty to help guide the process
and the discussion, whether it'swith someone like yourself in
(25:07):
the planning process or you knowsomeone like me who is a
mediator, just to have the youknow the open discussion without
the you know the negative backand forth, so that you can get
on the same page, so that yourstudent has a better experience.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah, what I found is that it usually helps to have,
when I'm working with clientswhether they're in my office,
whether we're on Zoom together,whatever it is, because I work
with clients nationally thateverybody, that everybody, that
both parents are able to askquestions and we're able to hold
a discussion with both parentstogether.
(25:51):
You know, that way there's nowell, that's just what he says,
or that's just what she says.
You know that they're actuallygetting the information directly
from me and then they can askfollow-up questions and it helps
to get everybody on the samepage, you know.
So, whether it's whether it's aone session appointment,
whether it's, you know, a full,you know engagement for senior
(26:14):
year, it definitely helps.
There's I'm thinking about one,one family that I'm working with
right now, you know, and theparents are divorced and I know
that they were considering avery high level school.
Definitely there were.
You know, one parent waspushing for this school and this
(26:35):
was early on in the process.
They were, they wanted to applyearly decision, which means
you're committing to the schoolright and the other parent was
very hesitant because didn'tknow what costs were.
And you know, we spoke about alot of topics and ultimately we
worked with the school to get anearly read, so that way they
were able to make the bestdecision together, moving
(26:56):
forward and get on the same page.
So you know, it's very nice tosee when everybody can come
together.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Absolutely, and the experience for everyone will be
better when they can do that.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Yes, certainly the child too.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
When that's, that's honestly who, who we're most
focused on, so that's that's whoneeds to have the better
experience.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Well, vicki.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
This has been such aneye-opening conversation and
thank you for sharing yourexpertise and providing so many
actual insights for ourlisteners.
For those of you who want toconnect with Vicki or learn more
about how to save money oncollege costs, visit her website
at collegefinancialprepcom, andwe'll also include a link in
(27:49):
the show notes For our listeners.
If you found today's episodehelpful, please subscribe, leave
us a review and share thisepisode with someone who may
benefit.
Remember, divorce doesn't haveto be a disaster.
Learning from the lessons ofothers can help you make smarter
decisions and avoid theunnecessary drama.
Thanks for tuning in today onDivorce Diaries Lessons from the
(28:10):
Trenches Until next time.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Thanks for joining us today on this episode of
Divorce Diaries.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit JacobsonFamilyLawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
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