August 19, 2025 • 27 mins
In this powerful conversation, host Cary Jacobson, attorney and mediator, is joined by Olivia Howell, founder of Fresh Starts Registry. Olivia shares how personal experience led her to create the world's first divorce registry – a platform where friends and family can tangibly support loved ones rebuilding their lives.
Whether you're experiencing divorce yourself or supporting someone who is, Fresh Starts Registry offers a powerful reminder that healing is possible when we approach major life transitions with compassion, community, and creativity. Visit freshstartsregistry.com to learn more about building a registry or accessing their network of divorce professionals.
Visit jacobsonfamilylaw.com to learn more.
Visit jacobsonworkshop.com to learn more.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Olivia Howell (00:00):
And one of the big shifts we're trying to
change in this narrative isthere's nothing wrong with
supporting people after divorce,right?
A lot of women especially haveto move or downsize or go
somewhere else, and for themthey need new things.
A lot of people literally havehalf of their things when they
get divorced and their communitywants to support them, but they
(00:22):
don't know how their communitywants to support them, but they
don't know how.
Intro/Close (00:26):
Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where attorney Cary
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Cary Jacobson (00:47):
Welcome back to Divorce Diaries Lessons from the
Trenches, the podcast, where weshine a light on the emotional
journeys, practical tools andthe resilient people
transforming life after divorce.
I'm your host, Cary Jacobson,divorce attorney, mediator and
the host of this space where wetalk about everything from legal
logistics to the emotionalsurvival.
(01:08):
Today's episode is all aboutreinventing the way that we
support those people who arestarting over, and this is one
you're not going to want to miss.
I'm very interested in learningmore about this topic.
I'm thrilled to welcome OliviaHowell, co-founder and CEO of
Fresh Starts Registry, theworld's first divorce registry
(01:31):
and groundbreaking divorcesupport network that's changing
the way that we think aboutlife's transition.
Olivia is a certified lifecoach, a hypnotherapist, a
single mom and communicationsexpert who's led campaigns for
major brands and now leads amovement rooted in compassion,
community and fresh starts.
Olivia, thank you so very muchfor being here today.
Olivia Howell (01:53):
Thank you for having me.
I'm so excited to be here.
Cary Jacobson (01:57):
Well, I am excited to learn more about this
registry.
I'm not that familiar with it,so I'd love for you to share
what inspired you to launchFresh Starts Registry.
Olivia Howell (02:10):
I love this question, so I love when I meet
people who don't know what we doand who we are, because it's
always exciting.
So, as many people may guess,I'm divorced myself.
I'm a single mom.
It's actually six years agotoday.
My ex-husband moved out August4th and so we got separated in
(02:30):
April of 2019.
I was a work-at-home mom.
I have a marketing agency, Ihad two little boys, we owned a
house, we had, on paper, whatseemed like a really normal
suburban life, and then themarriage fell apart, as they do,
and I come from a really longline of divorce.
My parents are divorced, all ofmy grandparents are divorced.
(02:52):
So I grew up, really it wasvery normal for us.
You know, it was just, is whatit is.
And when he, when we separatedand he moved out, my sister, who
is two years younger than me,came over and she and her then
fiance helped me clean the houseout and really, like we donated
(03:12):
so many items that wereemotionally charged and you know
, then rooms were empty and itwas like living in a ghost town
and I thought, well, this iswhen I need the support, right,
this is when I need the newstuff.
I don't want to use the sametoothbrush holder or the same
shower curtain or towels orsheets.
And so I Googled it, right?
(03:32):
I thought, well, there's got tobe a divorce registry, right?
This is when you have torebuild.
And the only things that cameup were articles that said why
is there not a divorce registryfrom Vogue and Elle and all of
these places?
So I called my sister and atthe time she had just gotten
engaged.
So we have, we're living kindof different lives.
And I said I think, I think Ihave an idea.
(03:56):
I want to start this, thisFresh Starts registry where it's
this one-stop shop, to beginagain.
And she was like I love this,but we've never built a startup.
At the time, you know, we werenot even working together.
She was on the road doing bigevents for tech companies and I
had the six figure marketingagency and I was doing social
media across the world andraising two kids.
(04:18):
And she was like I love this,but we don't know how to do this
.
So like, let's table this Right.
And I said, okay, but you know,when you have that idea and
like you just don't, you can'tgive it up, right?
So flash forward to uh, theywere.
My sister was supposed to getmarried May of 2020.
And, as anybody can remember,there was not a lot of weddings
(04:41):
going on then, so they pushedthe wedding and pushed the
wedding and then, by the timethey pushed it the third time,
he decided he wasn't in lovewith her anymore.
So she had the oppositeexperience that I had.
Um, I stayed in the maritalresidence and had to rebuild.
She literally left herapartment with nothing and and
(05:03):
she moved back to Long Island,which is where we're from.
She got a very cute littleGilmore girls type apartment
here in Huntington village andshe called me and she said
remember that idea you had forthe divorce registry?
I, I need new things.
She said let's do it, let'sbuild it, and so she literally
bought I get chills every time Itell this story she, she bought
(05:25):
a new kitchen table for herself, a new dining room table.
We sat at the table in August,almost almost four years ago now
and we built it from scratch.
And then we were.
We are the world's firstdivorce registry platform and
the premier divorce supportnetwork which I'll get into.
And so we we are just committedto shifting the narrative
(05:47):
around divorce and normalizingit and everything that you've
seen.
We've built ourselves and weare so proud of what we do we,
because we are the first divorceregistry people have had a lot
of things to say about us, so wewere on NBC by that February
and we've just kind of taken offsince then, yeah, so that's.
That's essentially where westarted.
(06:08):
But you know, as you know, withbuilding a business there's
lots of iterations.
So we have changed a lot sincethen, which I'm happy to talk
about too.
Cary Jacobson (06:17):
Absolutely Well.
I love this story.
I again hate that you both hadto go through that, but that
something so wonderful came ofthat and which is so, so needed
because, like you said, peopleare in different situations, but
those are.
Why is it always the happytimes where people are receiving
(06:39):
gifts?
You know when these are thetimes that it's really necessary
.
Olivia Howell (06:44):
Absolutely, absolutely, and so we actually
call it support, right?
This is a physicalmanifestation of the support you
can give to somebody, and oneof the big shifts we're trying
to change in this narrative isthere's nothing wrong with
supporting people after divorce,right?
A lot of women, especially,have to move or downsize or go
somewhere else, and for themthey need new things.
A lot of women, especially,have to move or downsize or go
(07:05):
somewhere else, and for themthey need new things.
A lot of people literally havehalf of their things when they
get divorced and their communitywants to support them, but they
don't know how, and so we'recoming out and saying build the
registry.
It's always free to make aregistry.
We're powered by Amazon for amultitude of reasons.
Number one is safety.
We put safety of our usersfirst and foremost, so you can
(07:31):
come to make a registry.
We don't collect your user dataever.
We don't ask for a credit card,we don't ask for an email
address.
We just help you build aregistry with all of our
products that we recommend, andwe recommend them based on rooms
of the house, based on budgets,based on all sorts of design
and aesthetic styles, and wealso provide scripts for you.
So when you send your registryto people, you can know exactly
(07:53):
what to say, because this is avery new idea.
And then we do a lot of thesupport on the other side, right
?
So how can people support thosepeople going through a divorce
as well?
People support those peoplegoing through a divorce as well.
And then we also have a wholeother side of the company, which
is actually how we make ourmoney, which is supporting
experts who are in the divorceindustry.
Cary Jacobson (08:12):
Well, I'd love to learn, you know, share with our
listeners a little bit moreabout that side as well.
Obviously, the registry is awonderful piece of it, but all
of the other professionals thatare part of that support team?
Olivia Howell (08:27):
Absolutely so.
When we built the registry, wewere like, so passionate, we
built the blueprint for thebusiness and then we were like,
oh no, this isn't making anymoney.
How are we going to make moneyfrom this?
Right, we're.
We are incredibly passionateabout providing accessible and
free resources for anybody goingthrough a divorce.
So we have free eBooks, freedictionaries, all sorts of free
(08:48):
resources.
Uh, however, that's not gonnapay the bills.
So my background is in marketingand public relations.
I've been doing that for 20years, my sister's backgrounds
in tech and, uh, you knowcommunications.
So when we were trying to buildthis, we had a friend to say to
us why don't you do what you'vealways done and support experts
in their marketing and publicrelations?
(09:09):
It was like a light bulb wentoff in our head.
So we have a beautifulmembership, that is, there's two
levels for $25 for any divorceprofessional per month.
Right, so it's $25 a month.
You have your own profilethat's SEO optimized and very
high comes up in Google becauseof the divorce registry.
You have our networking events.
(09:30):
You can share your events andyour courses and everything that
you're doing with our community, and you get discounts on all
of our cohorts and things likethat, and you get referrals,
which is something I'm going totalk about, which is unique,
that we do.
And then this is where thereally cool part is For just $55
a month you get all of that,but you also get support in your
(09:54):
business.
So we have co-working twice amonth.
You get all of that, but youalso get support in your
business.
So we have co-working twice aweek.
We have hot seat businesscoaching twice a week.
We have workshops.
We have a huge resource galleryand guide and content library
and you have access to any ofour top podcasts.
To come be a guest and here'sthe clinter, we actually do
public relations at that leveltoo.
(10:14):
To come be a guest and here'sthe clinter, we actually do
public relations at that leveltoo.
So we have put our experts,placed our experts into New York
Times, time Magazine, you knowall sorts of places, and it's a
fantastic way, if you're adivorce lawyer or coach or
therapist or co-parentingspecialist, to start to get your
name out there.
So we adore our experts and weabsolutely stand by them.
(10:36):
They are vetted.
When you sign up to be anexpert, you do have to sign a
waiver that says you arenonjudgmental, shame free and
inclusive Cause.
That's really important to usand the really cool thing that
we offer we started this year Ikind of started it on a whim to
see what would happen is freeconsults with me for 15 minutes
(10:57):
with anybody going through orconsidering divorce.
And I started this kind of justat the holiday season to say
like let me get back a littlebit and see what happens.
I call them divorce resourceconsults.
So you meet with me for 15minutes.
I listened to what's going on.
I am a certified divorce coach.
I don't do divorce coaching,but I wanted to make sure I was
certified in that and I'm acertified life coach, as you
(11:19):
said, and so it's confidential.
You meet with me on zoom andthen I put together a customized
email for you with the expertsthat you should talk to.
I introduced you to the expertsand then all the resources, and
I started this in December andI booked up for January in about
two days and and then I saidI'm just going to keep this
(11:39):
rolling and now we're booked outmonths in advance, and so I
absolutely adore this part ofthe business.
To me it's just my passion.
I love connecting our expertswith the people, and I have to
say, like shout out to ouramazing experts.
I myself know how hard it is toget in touch with lawyers and
everybody Right, and when Iconnect them to one of the
(12:01):
people that I work with, they'regetting back to them within
hours and supporting people.
And so it's really beautifuland so we have created this
entire ecosystem to supportpeople through divorce and we're
just, we're really proud ofwhat we do and to really help
shift that narrative about likethis is a time of support right,
and like let's come together tosupport people, let's support
(12:22):
divorce professionals to gettheir name into the world and
get the people that they need,and it's just this beautiful
journey that we've been on.
Cary Jacobson (12:30):
Well, that sounds like a great win-win, both for
the professionals but also thosepeople who are going through
the process.
It helps them have theresources for their team that
they're going to need to moveforward.
Olivia Howell (12:43):
Exactly exactly.
And the amount of I talk to mentoo, but mostly women who come
through and just look at me andsay I didn't even know this was
possible, right, a lot ofstay-at-home moms, a lot of
women who feel very trapped, andfor us to say, you know, it's
not only possible, but we'regoing to provide you with the
support that you need, is really, truly, it's wonderful, it's
(13:05):
magical.
So I'm very proud of that.
Cary Jacobson (13:08):
That's awesome.
Olivia Howell (13:09):
Thank you.
Cary Jacobson (13:12):
So back to the registry slightly.
What types of things are thatpeople able to, you know,
register for?
Is it household items?
Is it kind of give me an idea?
Olivia Howell (13:28):
Yeah, absolutely Okay.
So let's talk about that.
I love that question.
So we have two ways to build aregistry.
We are mostly powered by Amazon, but I know that some people
don't like Amazon, so we alsohave myregistrycom, in case you
want to do that as well.
However, we love to encouragepeople to register for the
things that I like to say yourex may have touched most in the
(13:52):
house, right, so we don't.
While we don't track users, wedo have affiliate links which we
make pennies on.
That's not why we do it.
We really like to see what'sbeing bought and purchased, and
so you know we we runs the gamutof things that are super
practical, right, so the topitems are towels, sheaves,
utensils, plates, cups, thosethings, and then also some
(14:17):
people add really cool thingslike disco balls and pirate
flags and a lot of you know, newunderwear and bathrobes and
slippers.
Something that was reallyimportant to me is, if you go to
the registry site, we havebundles of products that on
Amazon that you can just go.
Add all the products.
We've done the research, wehave looked at the stars and the
ratings and you can cause it.
As we know, divorce is sooverwhelming, yeah, and I wanted
(14:40):
to make sure it's so much tochoose from oh my gosh, it's so
many things to choose from andwe didn't want you sitting there
late at night going which youknow toothbrush holder does my
family need.
But we, we built out a bundlefor children's rooms, right,
because a lot of womenespecially need to move out to a
smaller space, and I can tellyou that that first thing
they're thinking about is how tomake the children's room, you
(15:01):
know, as special as possible.
But, as a single mom myself, Iwanted to make sure these were
items that a single mom couldbuild on her own in the room
late at night, right, you don'thave another set of hands.
And so we really thought aboutthe user's perspective and
journey the entire time that wewere building this, and I think
that that's what makes us alittle bit different, too, is we
(15:24):
think about the safety of everysingle user.
I was on a divorce consult theother day with somebody and she
had been messaging me onInstagram to set this up, and
then she was like I don't wantmy messages in my Instagram, and
so I sat with her until wedeleted all her messages, right,
like we are, we are, you know,led by heart.
(15:45):
We want people to feel safewith us.
My sister and I had each otherthrough this and we want other
people to feel like we're yourbig sisters, right, we're going
to see you through this also,and so the registry side is also
.
It's been really cool because wealso get a lot of women who
come to us who are in their 50sand 60s and 70s and, as you know
, gray divorce is on the riseand so many of these women have
(16:08):
literally never picked out a setof towels on their own or, you
know, sheets, and they go forthe floral, the pink, the
colorful, and it's so beautifulto sit.
You know, talk to these womenand they're like I picked out
artwork for the first time in mylife, you know, and it's.
It really is.
It's not about the items, right,it's about choosing joy.
It's about deciding what's goodfor you and it's about
(16:31):
surrounding yourself with thethings that the people in your
life got for you, right.
So, like, when you look at thenew sheets that your cousin in
California sent to you, you canfeel loved, right, because you
know that somebody that lovedyou bought those sheets.
And I believe I've done I'vedone a lot of work in the
subconscious as a hypnotherapist.
When you can start to rewireyour brain and see that you're
(16:53):
loved and surrounded with love,it's going to help your
confidence.
It's going to help you makethose decisions.
So you know, a lot of peopleare like ah, divorce registry.
Cary Jacobson (17:07):
I don't want to get you a present for your
divorce.
It's not about the gifts or thesupport.
It's about the idea behind it.
I love that.
I I understand that you knownow that people are going into
this new chapter and now they'reable to pick the things that
they want to have, notnecessarily have to feel like
they're picking things forsomeone else, and they can
choose whatever that makes themexcited.
Olivia Howell (17:28):
Absolutely.
In fact, I had a whole threadthat went viral on threads about
choosing pink items after yourdivorce, and then Forbes did a
whole piece on it because itturns out a lot of women really
want to decorate their housewith pink and they haven't been
allowed for many years, and soit's those little little pieces
of divorce that you don't thinkabout, that where we get really
sociologically nerdy about andwe like to talk about.
Cary Jacobson (17:51):
Well, can you share a success story from
someone who used the registryand found healing through it,
whether it was just the registryor or any of the professionals
in the process?
Olivia Howell (18:02):
Yeah, I'll share a little of both.
So we actually, you know, Isaid we have this bundle for
children's rooms.
We had a friend of ours who wasgoing through a divorce and she
had to move out from her fivebedroom house to a two bedroom
apartment and had two littleboys.
And she actually went andregistered for all the kids
items right, little boys, stuff,all those things and she put it
(18:24):
on social media and people onher social media bought her
everything she needed and shesent us videos of her children's
rooms and I get again getchills every time I think about
it.
So beautiful and then I'llshare.
Just even last week I talked toa woman who came to me A lot of
people find me on social mediaand she said I, you know I'm an
(18:45):
abusive marriage.
It's very emotionally abusive.
I have little kids, I don'thave my own income.
And I said, ok, well, actuallyone of our experts, who's an
amazing financial planner, he'soffering free support right now
to anybody I recommend.
Would that be something you'dbe interested in?
And she started to cry and shesaid I didn't even think this
was real and it was soheartbreaking and beautiful and,
(19:12):
you know, for a lot of women.
I'm the first person that theytell that they're considering
divorce.
I've had instances talking towomen on zoom where they're
hiding from their husbands andyou know, and so I don't think
people realize that while wetalk a lot about divorce in our
society, we're not talking a lotabout divorce in our society
and there's a lot of womenespecially, who are really
trapped.
And you know, between peoplelike you, carrie right, and
(19:35):
talking about it all the time,and you know the work that we do
, we can really start to openthis conversation up, which
might save some people's lives.
Cary Jacobson (19:44):
A hundred percent .
Yeah, I agree, we it.
It's talked about on a servicelevel, but not like the
underlying issues that peopleface.
Olivia Howell (19:55):
Yeah, a hundred percent yeah.
Cary Jacobson (19:57):
So you mentioned that you are a hypnotherapist
and that you are a divorce andlife coach.
What are some of thoseemotional patterns that you see
people rebuilding after divorce?
Olivia Howell (20:10):
I love this question so much so when people
come to me, I do some lifecoaching and business coaching,
but when I do my consults too,and even for my friends, they'll
come and say what do I do?
I feel so lost, right?
The first thing I alwaysrecommend is go listen to the
music you listened to when youwere 14.
That music when you were 14 iswho you were.
(20:32):
Go back to that and everybodydoes it and they're like that
was life changing, right.
And I, of course, will say gosee a therapist.
Therapy is amazing.
Divorce coaches are amazing.
Right To get through this time.
But so much of the patterns Isee is not about going back to
who you were, but it's aboutstepping into who you were
always supposed to be.
(20:52):
And I always like to saydivorce is not about winning or
losing, it's about finding,finding who you are Right.
And, as hard as it is, you willstep out of that like a phoenix
, as somebody new and the youknow so much of that.
That pattern is it has to berewired Right.
You deserve, you are worthy Allof that and that can totally be
(21:14):
done.
It feels like it can't, but Ipromise it can.
Cary Jacobson (21:17):
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, you mentioned earlier,you're a single mom, you're an
entrepreneur.
You, I believe, also have yourown podcast.
Olivia Howell (21:28):
We have a lot of podcasts.
Cary Jacobson (21:32):
How do you stay so grounded during all of this?
Olivia Howell (21:37):
It's a great question.
I am lucky enough, so I moved.
I actually sold my house aboutthree years ago and moved back
into my mom and stepdad and so Iinvested that money into the
company, because that's howpassionate I was, and living
back with my parents has beenreally great, I have to say.
They are an incredible supportand help with the kids, so I
(21:58):
have some support there.
It is so cool.
I always say, if you can, ifyou're a single mom and you can
move back home, move back homebecause it's great for the kids,
it's great for my parents, it'sgreat for me, and I definitely
make sure to take time at nightto just unwind right.
I watch a lot of old Nick atnight and I also.
I use our experts.
(22:20):
I go to our own experts.
We have an energy clearer thatI go to once a month.
Right now I'm doing a coursewith one of our experts.
She's doing a meditation course.
I literally use the people thatI recommend and I, you know,
will do anything that they offer.
Many of our experts offer freethings too, and I will go to as
much as much as I can, and thebeautiful part about building a
(22:44):
company with your sister is thatwe have.
We've built so many thingstogether that we're so aligned
and just like, as an example,this summer we swapped time off
and you know.
So I'm a writer too.
I'm working on a lot of stuff.
We have a book proposal we'reworking on and I took the week
off just to work on my ownwriting.
And like you can't do that whenyou're an entrepreneur most of
(23:05):
the time, but knowing that mysister, she runs the company
better than I do most of thetime, then you know it's like
and then she's taking off and soit's just having those, that
foundation in place, that if youhave like like we've had off
days and we're like I just can'tdo it today, it's like the
other sister's like good, gotake a nap.
You know it's fine.
That's very unusual, but we'revery grateful for it.
Cary Jacobson (23:28):
Well, having that family support is huge, Huge
yes, and so for any of ourlisteners out there that are
going through divorce or havebeen redivorced, you know,
making sure that you have thatsupport team whether it's family
, friends, whatever it might beis critical.
Olivia Howell (23:46):
Yeah, absolutely.
Cary Jacobson (23:47):
Yeah, well, what's one thing that you wish
everyone knew about kind ofdivorce and healing, something
that you would really like toshare with our listeners?
Olivia Howell (23:59):
You're not alone.
You're just.
You're not alone.
It feels so isolating and I'vebeen through.
My marriage was emotionallyabusive, psychologically abusive
.
I had a lot of healing afterthat and that's why I share so
much, because the amount ofwomen that come to me and say I
didn't even know what I wasgoing through until you talked
about this on Instagram orwhatever.
(24:20):
But you're not alone and if youare scared to get started, book
a call with me.
It's totally free.
There's no upsell.
I just am here to support youand I promise you if you're
going through something,somebody else is definitely
going through the same thing.
Cary Jacobson (24:34):
Absolutely Well.
Olivia, thank you so much forbeing here and I really loved
this conversation.
You've taken something that isso often shrouded in shame you
know divorce and separation andreally turned it into a moment
of strength, community andcelebration.
Thank you For everyone who'slistening, or whether you're
(24:55):
going through a divorce or abreakup, know that you are
allowed to begin again and havethat fresh start.
Olivia, how can our listenersknow more about the registry and
the services that you provide?
Olivia Howell (25:08):
Absolutely so.
You can go tofreshstartsregistry.
com and you can build a registry.
You can access our expert guidefor free.
We have three free eBooks rightnow on the website, tons and
tons of blog posts, and you canreach out to us online or on
Instagram at Fresh StartsRegistry or I'm simply Olivia
Howell.
My sister is Genevieve Dreisen.
(25:29):
We're here anytime, day ornight, for anybody.
Cary Jacobson (25:33):
Awesome.
Thank you so much, and forthose joining Divorce Diaries,
be sure to follow the podcast,share it with someone that may
be going through this or may youknow, find helpful information.
And until next time, I'm yourhost, Cary Jacobson.
Take care.
Intro/Close (25:53):
Thanks for joining us today on this episode of
Divorce Diaries.
Remember every journey isunique.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit JacobsonFamilyLaw.
com or call 443-726-4912 forsupport and guidance.
And one of the big shifts we're trying to
change in this narrative isthere's nothing wrong with
supporting people after divorce,right?
A lot of women especially haveto move or downsize or go
somewhere else, and for themthey need new things.
A lot of people literally havehalf of their things when they
get divorced and their communitywants to support them, but they
(00:22):
don't know how their communitywants to support them, but they
don't know how.
Intro/Close (00:26):
Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where attorney Cary
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Cary Jacobson (00:47):
Welcome back to Divorce Diaries Lessons from the
Trenches, the podcast, where weshine a light on the emotional
journeys, practical tools andthe resilient people
transforming life after divorce.
I'm your host, Cary Jacobson,divorce attorney, mediator and
the host of this space where wetalk about everything from legal
logistics to the emotionalsurvival.
(01:08):
Today's episode is all aboutreinventing the way that we
support those people who arestarting over, and this is one
you're not going to want to miss.
I'm very interested in learningmore about this topic.
I'm thrilled to welcome OliviaHowell, co-founder and CEO of
Fresh Starts Registry, theworld's first divorce registry
(01:31):
and groundbreaking divorcesupport network that's changing
the way that we think aboutlife's transition.
Olivia is a certified lifecoach, a hypnotherapist, a
single mom and communicationsexpert who's led campaigns for
major brands and now leads amovement rooted in compassion,
community and fresh starts.
Olivia, thank you so very muchfor being here today.
Olivia Howell (01:53):
Thank you for having me.
I'm so excited to be here.
Cary Jacobson (01:57):
Well, I am excited to learn more about this
registry.
I'm not that familiar with it,so I'd love for you to share
what inspired you to launchFresh Starts Registry.
Olivia Howell (02:10):
I love this question, so I love when I meet
people who don't know what we doand who we are, because it's
always exciting.
So, as many people may guess,I'm divorced myself.
I'm a single mom.
It's actually six years agotoday.
My ex-husband moved out August4th and so we got separated in
(02:30):
April of 2019.
I was a work-at-home mom.
I have a marketing agency, Ihad two little boys, we owned a
house, we had, on paper, whatseemed like a really normal
suburban life, and then themarriage fell apart, as they do,
and I come from a really longline of divorce.
My parents are divorced, all ofmy grandparents are divorced.
(02:52):
So I grew up, really it wasvery normal for us.
You know, it was just, is whatit is.
And when he, when we separatedand he moved out, my sister, who
is two years younger than me,came over and she and her then
fiance helped me clean the houseout and really, like we donated
(03:12):
so many items that wereemotionally charged and you know
, then rooms were empty and itwas like living in a ghost town
and I thought, well, this iswhen I need the support, right,
this is when I need the newstuff.
I don't want to use the sametoothbrush holder or the same
shower curtain or towels orsheets.
And so I Googled it, right?
(03:32):
I thought, well, there's got tobe a divorce registry, right?
This is when you have torebuild.
And the only things that cameup were articles that said why
is there not a divorce registryfrom Vogue and Elle and all of
these places?
So I called my sister and atthe time she had just gotten
engaged.
So we have, we're living kindof different lives.
And I said I think, I think Ihave an idea.
(03:56):
I want to start this, thisFresh Starts registry where it's
this one-stop shop, to beginagain.
And she was like I love this,but we've never built a startup.
At the time, you know, we werenot even working together.
She was on the road doing bigevents for tech companies and I
had the six figure marketingagency and I was doing social
media across the world andraising two kids.
(04:18):
And she was like I love this,but we don't know how to do this
.
So like, let's table this Right.
And I said, okay, but you know,when you have that idea and
like you just don't, you can'tgive it up, right?
So flash forward to uh, theywere.
My sister was supposed to getmarried May of 2020.
And, as anybody can remember,there was not a lot of weddings
(04:41):
going on then, so they pushedthe wedding and pushed the
wedding and then, by the timethey pushed it the third time,
he decided he wasn't in lovewith her anymore.
So she had the oppositeexperience that I had.
Um, I stayed in the maritalresidence and had to rebuild.
She literally left herapartment with nothing and and
(05:03):
she moved back to Long Island,which is where we're from.
She got a very cute littleGilmore girls type apartment
here in Huntington village andshe called me and she said
remember that idea you had forthe divorce registry?
I, I need new things.
She said let's do it, let'sbuild it, and so she literally
bought I get chills every time Itell this story she, she bought
(05:25):
a new kitchen table for herself, a new dining room table.
We sat at the table in August,almost almost four years ago now
and we built it from scratch.
And then we were.
We are the world's firstdivorce registry platform and
the premier divorce supportnetwork which I'll get into.
And so we we are just committedto shifting the narrative
(05:47):
around divorce and normalizingit and everything that you've
seen.
We've built ourselves and weare so proud of what we do we,
because we are the first divorceregistry people have had a lot
of things to say about us, so wewere on NBC by that February
and we've just kind of taken offsince then, yeah, so that's.
That's essentially where westarted.
(06:08):
But you know, as you know, withbuilding a business there's
lots of iterations.
So we have changed a lot sincethen, which I'm happy to talk
about too.
Cary Jacobson (06:17):
Absolutely Well.
I love this story.
I again hate that you both hadto go through that, but that
something so wonderful came ofthat and which is so, so needed
because, like you said, peopleare in different situations, but
those are.
Why is it always the happytimes where people are receiving
(06:39):
gifts?
You know when these are thetimes that it's really necessary
.
Olivia Howell (06:44):
Absolutely, absolutely, and so we actually
call it support, right?
This is a physicalmanifestation of the support you
can give to somebody, and oneof the big shifts we're trying
to change in this narrative isthere's nothing wrong with
supporting people after divorce,right?
A lot of women, especially,have to move or downsize or go
somewhere else, and for themthey need new things.
A lot of women, especially,have to move or downsize or go
(07:05):
somewhere else, and for themthey need new things.
A lot of people literally havehalf of their things when they
get divorced and their communitywants to support them, but they
don't know how, and so we'recoming out and saying build the
registry.
It's always free to make aregistry.
We're powered by Amazon for amultitude of reasons.
Number one is safety.
We put safety of our usersfirst and foremost, so you can
(07:31):
come to make a registry.
We don't collect your user dataever.
We don't ask for a credit card,we don't ask for an email
address.
We just help you build aregistry with all of our
products that we recommend, andwe recommend them based on rooms
of the house, based on budgets,based on all sorts of design
and aesthetic styles, and wealso provide scripts for you.
So when you send your registryto people, you can know exactly
(07:53):
what to say, because this is avery new idea.
And then we do a lot of thesupport on the other side, right
?
So how can people support thosepeople going through a divorce
as well?
People support those peoplegoing through a divorce as well.
And then we also have a wholeother side of the company, which
is actually how we make ourmoney, which is supporting
experts who are in the divorceindustry.
Cary Jacobson (08:12):
Well, I'd love to learn, you know, share with our
listeners a little bit moreabout that side as well.
Obviously, the registry is awonderful piece of it, but all
of the other professionals thatare part of that support team?
Olivia Howell (08:27):
Absolutely so.
When we built the registry, wewere like, so passionate, we
built the blueprint for thebusiness and then we were like,
oh no, this isn't making anymoney.
How are we going to make moneyfrom this?
Right, we're.
We are incredibly passionateabout providing accessible and
free resources for anybody goingthrough a divorce.
So we have free eBooks, freedictionaries, all sorts of free
(08:48):
resources.
Uh, however, that's not gonnapay the bills.
So my background is in marketingand public relations.
I've been doing that for 20years, my sister's backgrounds
in tech and, uh, you knowcommunications.
So when we were trying to buildthis, we had a friend to say to
us why don't you do what you'vealways done and support experts
in their marketing and publicrelations?
(09:09):
It was like a light bulb wentoff in our head.
So we have a beautifulmembership, that is, there's two
levels for $25 for any divorceprofessional per month.
Right, so it's $25 a month.
You have your own profilethat's SEO optimized and very
high comes up in Google becauseof the divorce registry.
You have our networking events.
(09:30):
You can share your events andyour courses and everything that
you're doing with our community, and you get discounts on all
of our cohorts and things likethat, and you get referrals,
which is something I'm going totalk about, which is unique,
that we do.
And then this is where thereally cool part is For just $55
a month you get all of that,but you also get support in your
(09:54):
business.
So we have co-working twice amonth.
You get all of that, but youalso get support in your
business.
So we have co-working twice aweek.
We have hot seat businesscoaching twice a week.
We have workshops.
We have a huge resource galleryand guide and content library
and you have access to any ofour top podcasts.
To come be a guest and here'sthe clinter, we actually do
public relations at that leveltoo.
(10:14):
To come be a guest and here'sthe clinter, we actually do
public relations at that leveltoo.
So we have put our experts,placed our experts into New York
Times, time Magazine, you knowall sorts of places, and it's a
fantastic way, if you're adivorce lawyer or coach or
therapist or co-parentingspecialist, to start to get your
name out there.
So we adore our experts and weabsolutely stand by them.
(10:36):
They are vetted.
When you sign up to be anexpert, you do have to sign a
waiver that says you arenonjudgmental, shame free and
inclusive Cause.
That's really important to usand the really cool thing that
we offer we started this year Ikind of started it on a whim to
see what would happen is freeconsults with me for 15 minutes
(10:57):
with anybody going through orconsidering divorce.
And I started this kind of justat the holiday season to say
like let me get back a littlebit and see what happens.
I call them divorce resourceconsults.
So you meet with me for 15minutes.
I listened to what's going on.
I am a certified divorce coach.
I don't do divorce coaching,but I wanted to make sure I was
certified in that and I'm acertified life coach, as you
(11:19):
said, and so it's confidential.
You meet with me on zoom andthen I put together a customized
email for you with the expertsthat you should talk to.
I introduced you to the expertsand then all the resources, and
I started this in December andI booked up for January in about
two days and and then I saidI'm just going to keep this
(11:39):
rolling and now we're booked outmonths in advance, and so I
absolutely adore this part ofthe business.
To me it's just my passion.
I love connecting our expertswith the people, and I have to
say, like shout out to ouramazing experts.
I myself know how hard it is toget in touch with lawyers and
everybody Right, and when Iconnect them to one of the
(12:01):
people that I work with, they'regetting back to them within
hours and supporting people.
And so it's really beautifuland so we have created this
entire ecosystem to supportpeople through divorce and we're
just, we're really proud ofwhat we do and to really help
shift that narrative about likethis is a time of support right,
and like let's come together tosupport people, let's support
(12:22):
divorce professionals to gettheir name into the world and
get the people that they need,and it's just this beautiful
journey that we've been on.
Cary Jacobson (12:30):
Well, that sounds like a great win-win, both for
the professionals but also thosepeople who are going through
the process.
It helps them have theresources for their team that
they're going to need to moveforward.
Olivia Howell (12:43):
Exactly exactly.
And the amount of I talk to mentoo, but mostly women who come
through and just look at me andsay I didn't even know this was
possible, right, a lot ofstay-at-home moms, a lot of
women who feel very trapped, andfor us to say, you know, it's
not only possible, but we'regoing to provide you with the
support that you need, is really, truly, it's wonderful, it's
(13:05):
magical.
So I'm very proud of that.
Cary Jacobson (13:08):
That's awesome.
Olivia Howell (13:09):
Thank you.
Cary Jacobson (13:12):
So back to the registry slightly.
What types of things are thatpeople able to, you know,
register for?
Is it household items?
Is it kind of give me an idea?
Olivia Howell (13:28):
Yeah, absolutely Okay.
So let's talk about that.
I love that question.
So we have two ways to build aregistry.
We are mostly powered by Amazon, but I know that some people
don't like Amazon, so we alsohave myregistrycom, in case you
want to do that as well.
However, we love to encouragepeople to register for the
things that I like to say yourex may have touched most in the
(13:52):
house, right, so we don't.
While we don't track users, wedo have affiliate links which we
make pennies on.
That's not why we do it.
We really like to see what'sbeing bought and purchased, and
so you know we we runs the gamutof things that are super
practical, right, so the topitems are towels, sheaves,
utensils, plates, cups, thosethings, and then also some
(14:17):
people add really cool thingslike disco balls and pirate
flags and a lot of you know, newunderwear and bathrobes and
slippers.
Something that was reallyimportant to me is, if you go to
the registry site, we havebundles of products that on
Amazon that you can just go.
Add all the products.
We've done the research, wehave looked at the stars and the
ratings and you can cause it.
As we know, divorce is sooverwhelming, yeah, and I wanted
(14:40):
to make sure it's so much tochoose from oh my gosh, it's so
many things to choose from andwe didn't want you sitting there
late at night going which youknow toothbrush holder does my
family need.
But we, we built out a bundlefor children's rooms, right,
because a lot of womenespecially need to move out to a
smaller space, and I can tellyou that that first thing
they're thinking about is how tomake the children's room, you
(15:01):
know, as special as possible.
But, as a single mom myself, Iwanted to make sure these were
items that a single mom couldbuild on her own in the room
late at night, right, you don'thave another set of hands.
And so we really thought aboutthe user's perspective and
journey the entire time that wewere building this, and I think
that that's what makes us alittle bit different, too, is we
(15:24):
think about the safety of everysingle user.
I was on a divorce consult theother day with somebody and she
had been messaging me onInstagram to set this up, and
then she was like I don't wantmy messages in my Instagram, and
so I sat with her until wedeleted all her messages, right,
like we are, we are, you know,led by heart.
(15:45):
We want people to feel safewith us.
My sister and I had each otherthrough this and we want other
people to feel like we're yourbig sisters, right, we're going
to see you through this also,and so the registry side is also
.
It's been really cool because wealso get a lot of women who
come to us who are in their 50sand 60s and 70s and, as you know
, gray divorce is on the riseand so many of these women have
(16:08):
literally never picked out a setof towels on their own or, you
know, sheets, and they go forthe floral, the pink, the
colorful, and it's so beautifulto sit.
You know, talk to these womenand they're like I picked out
artwork for the first time in mylife, you know, and it's.
It really is.
It's not about the items, right,it's about choosing joy.
It's about deciding what's goodfor you and it's about
(16:31):
surrounding yourself with thethings that the people in your
life got for you, right.
So, like, when you look at thenew sheets that your cousin in
California sent to you, you canfeel loved, right, because you
know that somebody that lovedyou bought those sheets.
And I believe I've done I'vedone a lot of work in the
subconscious as a hypnotherapist.
When you can start to rewireyour brain and see that you're
(16:53):
loved and surrounded with love,it's going to help your
confidence.
It's going to help you makethose decisions.
So you know, a lot of peopleare like ah, divorce registry.
Cary Jacobson (17:07):
I don't want to get you a present for your
divorce.
It's not about the gifts or thesupport.
It's about the idea behind it.
I love that.
I I understand that you knownow that people are going into
this new chapter and now they'reable to pick the things that
they want to have, notnecessarily have to feel like
they're picking things forsomeone else, and they can
choose whatever that makes themexcited.
Olivia Howell (17:28):
Absolutely.
In fact, I had a whole threadthat went viral on threads about
choosing pink items after yourdivorce, and then Forbes did a
whole piece on it because itturns out a lot of women really
want to decorate their housewith pink and they haven't been
allowed for many years, and soit's those little little pieces
of divorce that you don't thinkabout, that where we get really
sociologically nerdy about andwe like to talk about.
Cary Jacobson (17:51):
Well, can you share a success story from
someone who used the registryand found healing through it,
whether it was just the registryor or any of the professionals
in the process?
Olivia Howell (18:02):
Yeah, I'll share a little of both.
So we actually, you know, Isaid we have this bundle for
children's rooms.
We had a friend of ours who wasgoing through a divorce and she
had to move out from her fivebedroom house to a two bedroom
apartment and had two littleboys.
And she actually went andregistered for all the kids
items right, little boys, stuff,all those things and she put it
(18:24):
on social media and people onher social media bought her
everything she needed and shesent us videos of her children's
rooms and I get again getchills every time I think about
it.
So beautiful and then I'llshare.
Just even last week I talked toa woman who came to me A lot of
people find me on social mediaand she said I, you know I'm an
(18:45):
abusive marriage.
It's very emotionally abusive.
I have little kids, I don'thave my own income.
And I said, ok, well, actuallyone of our experts, who's an
amazing financial planner, he'soffering free support right now
to anybody I recommend.
Would that be something you'dbe interested in?
And she started to cry and shesaid I didn't even think this
was real and it was soheartbreaking and beautiful and,
(19:12):
you know, for a lot of women.
I'm the first person that theytell that they're considering
divorce.
I've had instances talking towomen on zoom where they're
hiding from their husbands andyou know, and so I don't think
people realize that while wetalk a lot about divorce in our
society, we're not talking a lotabout divorce in our society
and there's a lot of womenespecially, who are really
trapped.
And you know, between peoplelike you, carrie right, and
(19:35):
talking about it all the time,and you know the work that we do
, we can really start to openthis conversation up, which
might save some people's lives.
Cary Jacobson (19:44):
A hundred percent .
Yeah, I agree, we it.
It's talked about on a servicelevel, but not like the
underlying issues that peopleface.
Olivia Howell (19:55):
Yeah, a hundred percent yeah.
Cary Jacobson (19:57):
So you mentioned that you are a hypnotherapist
and that you are a divorce andlife coach.
What are some of thoseemotional patterns that you see
people rebuilding after divorce?
Olivia Howell (20:10):
I love this question so much so when people
come to me, I do some lifecoaching and business coaching,
but when I do my consults too,and even for my friends, they'll
come and say what do I do?
I feel so lost, right?
The first thing I alwaysrecommend is go listen to the
music you listened to when youwere 14.
That music when you were 14 iswho you were.
(20:32):
Go back to that and everybodydoes it and they're like that
was life changing, right.
And I, of course, will say gosee a therapist.
Therapy is amazing.
Divorce coaches are amazing.
Right To get through this time.
But so much of the patterns Isee is not about going back to
who you were, but it's aboutstepping into who you were
always supposed to be.
(20:52):
And I always like to saydivorce is not about winning or
losing, it's about finding,finding who you are Right.
And, as hard as it is, you willstep out of that like a phoenix
, as somebody new and the youknow so much of that.
That pattern is it has to berewired Right.
You deserve, you are worthy Allof that and that can totally be
(21:14):
done.
It feels like it can't, but Ipromise it can.
Cary Jacobson (21:17):
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, you mentioned earlier,you're a single mom, you're an
entrepreneur.
You, I believe, also have yourown podcast.
Olivia Howell (21:28):
We have a lot of podcasts.
Cary Jacobson (21:32):
How do you stay so grounded during all of this?
Olivia Howell (21:37):
It's a great question.
I am lucky enough, so I moved.
I actually sold my house aboutthree years ago and moved back
into my mom and stepdad and so Iinvested that money into the
company, because that's howpassionate I was, and living
back with my parents has beenreally great, I have to say.
They are an incredible supportand help with the kids, so I
(21:58):
have some support there.
It is so cool.
I always say, if you can, ifyou're a single mom and you can
move back home, move back homebecause it's great for the kids,
it's great for my parents, it'sgreat for me, and I definitely
make sure to take time at nightto just unwind right.
I watch a lot of old Nick atnight and I also.
I use our experts.
(22:20):
I go to our own experts.
We have an energy clearer thatI go to once a month.
Right now I'm doing a coursewith one of our experts.
She's doing a meditation course.
I literally use the people thatI recommend and I, you know,
will do anything that they offer.
Many of our experts offer freethings too, and I will go to as
much as much as I can, and thebeautiful part about building a
(22:44):
company with your sister is thatwe have.
We've built so many thingstogether that we're so aligned
and just like, as an example,this summer we swapped time off
and you know.
So I'm a writer too.
I'm working on a lot of stuff.
We have a book proposal we'reworking on and I took the week
off just to work on my ownwriting.
And like you can't do that whenyou're an entrepreneur most of
(23:05):
the time, but knowing that mysister, she runs the company
better than I do most of thetime, then you know it's like
and then she's taking off and soit's just having those, that
foundation in place, that if youhave like like we've had off
days and we're like I just can'tdo it today, it's like the
other sister's like good, gotake a nap.
You know it's fine.
That's very unusual, but we'revery grateful for it.
Cary Jacobson (23:28):
Well, having that family support is huge, Huge
yes, and so for any of ourlisteners out there that are
going through divorce or havebeen redivorced, you know,
making sure that you have thatsupport team whether it's family
, friends, whatever it might beis critical.
Olivia Howell (23:46):
Yeah, absolutely.
Cary Jacobson (23:47):
Yeah, well, what's one thing that you wish
everyone knew about kind ofdivorce and healing, something
that you would really like toshare with our listeners?
Olivia Howell (23:59):
You're not alone.
You're just.
You're not alone.
It feels so isolating and I'vebeen through.
My marriage was emotionallyabusive, psychologically abusive
.
I had a lot of healing afterthat and that's why I share so
much, because the amount ofwomen that come to me and say I
didn't even know what I wasgoing through until you talked
about this on Instagram orwhatever.
(24:20):
But you're not alone and if youare scared to get started, book
a call with me.
It's totally free.
There's no upsell.
I just am here to support youand I promise you if you're
going through something,somebody else is definitely
going through the same thing.
Cary Jacobson (24:34):
Absolutely Well.
Olivia, thank you so much forbeing here and I really loved
this conversation.
You've taken something that isso often shrouded in shame you
know divorce and separation andreally turned it into a moment
of strength, community andcelebration.
Thank you For everyone who'slistening, or whether you're
(24:55):
going through a divorce or abreakup, know that you are
allowed to begin again and havethat fresh start.
Olivia, how can our listenersknow more about the registry and
the services that you provide?
Olivia Howell (25:08):
Absolutely so.
You can go tofreshstartsregistry.
com and you can build a registry.
You can access our expert guidefor free.
We have three free eBooks rightnow on the website, tons and
tons of blog posts, and you canreach out to us online or on
Instagram at Fresh StartsRegistry or I'm simply Olivia
Howell.
My sister is Genevieve Dreisen.
(25:29):
We're here anytime, day ornight, for anybody.
Cary Jacobson (25:33):
Awesome.
Thank you so much, and forthose joining Divorce Diaries,
be sure to follow the podcast,share it with someone that may
be going through this or may youknow, find helpful information.
And until next time, I'm yourhost, Cary Jacobson.
Take care.
Intro/Close (25:53):
Thanks for joining us today on this episode of
Divorce Diaries.
Remember every journey isunique.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit JacobsonFamilyLaw.
com or call 443-726-4912 forsupport and guidance.
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