September 16, 2025 • 18 mins
Forget everything you thought you knew about divorce. The battlefield metaphor? The years of expensive court battles? The permanent damage to family relationships? None of that is inevitable. Family law attorney and mediator Cary Jacobson pulls back the curtain on divorce mediation—a powerful alternative that's transforming how couples navigate separation.
Preparing for successful mediation means gathering financial documentation, clarifying priorities, and approaching the process with an open mind. To help listeners feel more confident and organized, Jacobson has created a comprehensive guide with checklists, worksheets, budgeting tools, and sample custody schedules—available free at stan.store/jacobsonfamilylaw. Ready to explore whether mediation could work for your situation? Visit jacobsonfamilylaw.com to schedule a consultation and discover how you might separate with dignity, protect your children, and move forward with less damage than you ever thought possible.
Visit jacobsonworkshop.com to learn more.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cary Jacobson (00:00):
where I think it can be challenging for mediation
to work is if one spouse issimply looking to spite the
other you know they're out forrevenge or something along those
lines or if there's a majorpower imbalance.
You know one spouse who simplydoesn't have as much information
(00:23):
and doesn't have that supportteam that is standing behind
them in the background.
Intro/Close (00:30):
Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where attorney Cary
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Charlie McDermott (00:52):
Welcome back to Divorce Diaries
the Trenches.
Today's episode is a littledifferent.
As you can see or hear, ourguest had an emergency, so I get
to interview our host, CaryJacobson.
Family law attorney andmediator.
Jacobson Family Law, Cary,first off, how are you doing?
Cary Jacobson (01:12):
I'm doing well.
I hope you are as well.
Charlie McDermott (01:14):
I am, I'm doing terrific and I get to play
, so this is great.
This is great.
How about we talk aboutmediation?
That?
Cary Jacobson (01:22):
would be great.
Charlie McDermott (01:23):
All right, so let's start with the basics.
What is divorce mediation?
Cary Jacobson (01:29):
Divorce mediation is simply a process where a
neutral third party, such asmyself, works with couples to
help them resolve theirdifferences related to any
issues that may arise out oftheir divorce matter.
Whether it's custody, propertydivision, financial support, we
really touch on all of theissues and I work as a neutral
(01:52):
to facilitate the conversationbetween them so that they can
reach a full and final agreement.
Charlie McDermott (01:59):
So then, why choose mediation over litigation
?
Cary Jacobson (02:04):
There are so many reasons to choose mediation
over litigation.
Some of them are practical.
Mediation is private.
You're not going to be in acourtroom, you know, spilling
all of your public informationto everyone who's watching.
It's confidential, so thethings that are said in
mediation are not going to bereleased to anyone else.
(02:25):
You know you get to have afrank conversation with your
spouse on what needs to be dealtwith and the reasons behind
that.
It's also really working onfocusing on solutions.
You know, when we're in courtit's looking at all of the
terrible things that happenedthat got us to where they are.
Mediation really shifts thatfocus from not what happened,
(02:51):
but this is where we are now andwhat are we going to do going
forward.
So it's creating solutions thathopefully will help them be
better co-parents if they havekids less adversarial going
forward, parents if they havekids less adversarial going
forward.
And, honestly, the other bigthing is that mediation is much
(03:11):
less expensive and is so muchfaster than the traditional
litigation practice.
Charlie McDermott (03:16):
Wow, definitely sounds like that's
the way to go, but is mediationright for everyone?
Cary Jacobson (03:23):
The quick answer is no, though I would say it's.
It is right for more peoplethan they may necessarily think.
So some people have themisconception that okay, well,
my spouse and I already agree.
Do we really need mediation?
The answer is actuallymediation can be a very easy way
for you to get your agreementon paper, instead of doing it
(03:47):
yourself and doing it wrong orhiring the attorneys to kind of
make it more complicated than itneeds to be the other times.
Or the other misconception is mystaff and I don't agree on
anything and so we can't domediation.
And really that's whatmediation is there for.
(04:08):
It's so we can try to findthose things where you and your
spouse may find agreement andbeing creative and thinking
outside the box.
Where I think it can bechallenging in to for mediation
to work is if one spouse issimply looking to spite the
other you know they're out forrevenge or something along those
(04:32):
lines or if there's a majorpower imbalance you know one
spouse who simply doesn't haveas much information and doesn't
have that support team that isstanding behind them in the back
room.
Charlie McDermott (04:47):
It's a good sense.
So, with all your experience inmediation, what benefits have
you seen that you can speak to?
Cary Jacobson (04:57):
Well, the reason I started focusing on mediation
and other out-of-courtresolutions is because I saw how
detrimental the litigationpractice really was to families,
even when people didn'tnecessarily need to be in
communication.
They simply thought that'swhere they needed to go.
So mediation couples typicallyleave with less conflict because
(05:21):
now we mirror what thatcommunication should look like.
They often walk out ofmediation with healthier
co-parenting relationships whichis so important if they have
kids of any age, and they trulywalk away with a plan that's
going to be tailored to theirfamily, instead of a judge, you
(05:41):
know, picking something thatjust doesn't work for them
instead of a judge, you knowpicking something that that just
doesn't work for them.
So then what about, or, or, Iguess, how does mediation reduce
(06:01):
conflict?
Like I said before, we wereally shift that focus and look
at what is going to happen inthe future, so we don't go back
and rehash past the greatarguments we don't, you know,
talk about what really led themto divorce in the right now
we're really focusing on.
(06:21):
Well, can we set the two ofthem up going forward so it does
reduce conflict, and sometimesthat could be creating a
communication protocol.
It can be.
Well, let's talk about howyou're going to share calendars,
okay.
Well, instead of leaving timesfor transitions up in the air,
(06:45):
let's get specific about whateach holiday is going to look
like, the days and the weeks andtimes that transitions of the
kids are going to take place.
Charlie McDermott (07:04):
So we get really focused on all the
minutia so it reduces conflictin the future.
How about?
Cary Jacobson (07:08):
the all-important money and time question.
Yeah, so litigation can lastyears and, unfortunately, on
average probably is aboutanywhere between $30,000 to
$60,000 per spouse.
Wow, mediation is a fraction ofthat.
Usually, you know, our couplesare spending less than $10,000
(07:31):
together and we often are donein as little as one media
session.
Charlie McDermott (07:37):
So, Cary, can you walk us through the process
?
Cary Jacobson (07:40):
Absolutely, and it slightly varies depending on
each couple and where they arein the process.
But really, what we start withis a joint consultation where I
get a better sense of what theissues are that the couple needs
to address, and then, whenwe're in our mediation sessions,
it's a time for us to gatherall of the financial information
(08:03):
, the parenting information, howthey're going to co-care with
one another, what the scheduleis going to look like and, going
through each of the issues, howthey're going to divide
property, anything related to,you know, financial support.
Once the parties have reachedthat final agreement, then we
(08:24):
actually draft the mediatedmarital settlement agreement
that eventually will be filedwith the court in order for the
divorce to be finalized, andthis process, depending on how
complicated their situation is,can take anywhere from two weeks
to about six to eight weeks.
Charlie McDermott (08:45):
Wow, big difference, big difference.
So what role do you play asmediator?
Cary Jacobson (08:51):
Yeah, so when I'm working as a mediator, I take
off my attorney hat.
I'm no longer giving either orany sort of legal advice and I'm
not taking sides and I'm notmaking any judgments between
parties.
Really, my job is to guide theconversation.
Talk about legal concepts so Ican talk about, you know, child
(09:14):
support in Maryland iscalculated or how retirement is
divided, the mechanics of that.
But ultimately it's up to theparties to decide how they want
to arrange that agreementbetween themselves.
And if they need legal advice,that is when I would refer them
absolutely out to an attorneythat can help them decide, you
(09:36):
know, if this agreement is intheir best interest.
Charlie McDermott (09:40):
Okay, okay, how about Cary, Misconceptions,
what, what kinds ofmisconceptions that people have
about that whole, the wholemediation process?
Cary Jacobson (09:49):
I think sometimes a lot of people think mediation
is kind of giving in or couldturn into like a therapy session
, and it's really not meant tobe that.
It's meant to be a structurednegotiation where we're focused
on the particular issues.
We're talking about practicalsteps that they're going to take
and I'm helping them try toreach agreements on these issues
(10:12):
that work for them and theirfamilies.
Charlie McDermott (10:15):
How about a success story that comes to mind
, anything that you can share.
Cary Jacobson (10:20):
The one that really sticks out is a couple
came into mediation and wehandle all of our mediations
virtually, so they came into avirtual Zoom room and they were
really stuck on how they'regoing to, you know, co-parent
their young kids and throughoutthe mediation sessions we really
(10:43):
helped them build a schedulethat fit with their kids'
routines.
You know their kids'personalities and the parents'
work schedules and now they areco-parenting with so much less
stress and the kids are reallythriving through the new
schedule.
Charlie McDermott (11:01):
Yeah, that's great.
So now that we heard thesuccess, it's only bare that I
ask the other question so hasmediation ever not worked in
your experience?
Cary Jacobson (11:13):
Fortunately for us, it's pretty rare that we
have scenarios where mediationdoesn't work, but you know there
are some times when, forvarious reasons, it hasn't.
One that really sticks out isthat one spouse in the mediation
simply wasn't being honestabout their finances.
(11:33):
And mediation really only worksif both parties are transparent
and both parties understandwhat exactly they're working
with.
You know, it's very common forus to work with a couple where
one of the spouses has not beenas involved in the finances, so
they just have less information,and sometimes part of the
(11:55):
process is making sure theyunderstand everything that we're
working with and talking aboutbefore they actually file ISE
agreements.
Charlie McDermott (12:04):
Get into some practical tips, Cary.
What should people do toprepare for mediation?
Cary Jacobson (12:10):
Absolutely so.
After that consultation, someof the first things that people
should really be doing is first,gathering all of that financial
documentation.
So if parties don't have all ofthat available and both parties
aren't aware of all of thefinances, it's a great time to
(12:30):
gather that stuff and also shareit with each other, so
everybody's on the same pagewith what the finance is on.
Share it with each other, soeverybody's on the same page
with what the finance is on.
The second major tip is to foreach spouse to really get clear
on their top priorities.
You know, versus those thingsthat they would really like to,
(12:52):
is it more important that theyhave quote unquote alimony or
child support versus having youknow something else that might
be that they might enjoy, butit's not necessary?
And then the third is reallycoming into mediation with an
open mind and not necessarilyhaving it set exactly the way
that they want it.
Mindset is a can make a hugedifference, and compromise
(13:15):
really is part of the mediationprocess.
Charlie McDermott (13:19):
Let's talk about mindset.
What mindset leads to success?
Cary Jacobson (13:25):
It really is all about flexibility.
If you come into mediationthinking you're going to get
100% of exactly what you want,that's not generally practical.
100% of exactly what you want,that's not generally practical.
Mediation works best when bothparties are willing to
compromise to, you know, find aworkable solution, and I hope
(13:47):
that I can give some tools tohelp people, you know, find
those workable solutions.
Part of what I try to do isgive other people options, what
I've seen other couples do inthe past, and it's not that.
Maybe it's also providingprofessional resources where
they can get more information orresources, professional
(14:09):
guidance.
Charlie McDermott (14:11):
Awesome, awesome.
So how do you talk to areluctant spouse about mediation
?
Cary Jacobson (14:19):
Yeah, so this is very common.
You know where one party wantsto do mediation, the other one's
not necessarily sure thatthat's the route they want to
take.
I think it's framing it as away to protect their kids if
they have them, to reduce stress, to also emphasize the fact
that this process is going to bemuch quicker, less expensive
(14:43):
and then really gives the otherboth of them more control over
the outcome, as opposed to thealternative of leaving it to a
judge to make a decision.
Charlie McDermott (14:54):
Good stuff, Barry, and now you've created a
tool for people preparing formediation the step-by-step guide
to divorce mediation.
Can you share what's inside?
Cary Jacobson (15:04):
Yes.
So this guide is really to be apractical roadmap.
It includes checklists, someworksheets, timelines, budgeting
tools, so it's got you know anasset list, a budget tracker.
It even gives some samplecustody schedules and it's
(15:25):
really there to help people feelmore organized and less
overwhelmed.
Before you know, to do thisguide during mediation, either
before and or during, so thatthey come into the mediation
more confident and prepared.
Charlie McDermott (15:43):
Yeah, it sounds like a real, really
useful tool.
Now listeners can grab a copyright.
They just go to stan.
store/jacobsonfamilylaw.
That's Stan S, as in Sam T, asin Tom A N, as in Nancy
store/jacobsonfamilylaw, andwe'll have a link in the show
(16:04):
notes as well.
So to wrap things up here, Cary, what would you say that one
piece of advice you'd give toour listeners today?
Cary Jacobson (16:16):
I think, first and foremost, is that divorce
doesn't have to be a battlefieldand that you do not have to
file for divorce in court to getthe process started.
I think so many people thinkthat that is their absolute
first step and I'm here to saythat that is not your first step
.
Think that that is theirabsolute first step, and I'm
here to say that that is notyour first step.
(16:37):
You can actually resolve theseissues outside of court first,
and mediation is a great way todo that and it really gives both
parties the chance to separatewith dignity, protect your kids
and move forward with lessdamage.
Charlie McDermott (16:51):
How can people connect with you?
Cary Jacobson (16:53):
Yeah, the best way to find us is through our
website, which isjacobsonfamilylaw.
com, and even though we arelicensed in Maryland for divorce
, we can actually mediate withcouples anyway, so you can go
onto our website and actuallyschedule that joint consultation
for mediation.
You can also find us on socialmedia on TikTok, linkedin and
(17:17):
Facebook under Jacobson FamilyFamily Law, and so if you're
ready to schedule a consultation, you can find that online.
Charlie McDermott (17:24):
Cary, thank you for sharing your insight
today and thank you to ourlisteners for tuning in to
Divorce Diaries Lessons from theTrenches.
Don't forget to check out thestep-by-step mediation guide
linked in the show notes.
Cary, you have a great day.
We'll see you in the nextepisode.
Cary Jacobson (17:41):
You as well.
Intro/Close (17:42):
Thanks, Thanks for joining us today on this episode
of Divorce Diaries.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit jacobsonfamilylawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
(18:03):
and guidance.
where I think it can be challenging for mediation
to work is if one spouse issimply looking to spite the
other you know they're out forrevenge or something along those
lines or if there's a majorpower imbalance.
You know one spouse who simplydoesn't have as much information
(00:23):
and doesn't have that supportteam that is standing behind
them in the background.
Intro/Close (00:30):
Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where attorney Cary
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Charlie McDermott (00:52):
Welcome back to Divorce Diaries
the Trenches.
Today's episode is a littledifferent.
As you can see or hear, ourguest had an emergency, so I get
to interview our host, CaryJacobson.
Family law attorney andmediator.
Jacobson Family Law, Cary,first off, how are you doing?
Cary Jacobson (01:12):
I'm doing well.
I hope you are as well.
Charlie McDermott (01:14):
I am, I'm doing terrific and I get to play
, so this is great.
This is great.
How about we talk aboutmediation?
That?
Cary Jacobson (01:22):
would be great.
Charlie McDermott (01:23):
All right, so let's start with the basics.
What is divorce mediation?
Cary Jacobson (01:29):
Divorce mediation is simply a process where a
neutral third party, such asmyself, works with couples to
help them resolve theirdifferences related to any
issues that may arise out oftheir divorce matter.
Whether it's custody, propertydivision, financial support, we
really touch on all of theissues and I work as a neutral
(01:52):
to facilitate the conversationbetween them so that they can
reach a full and final agreement.
Charlie McDermott (01:59):
So then, why choose mediation over litigation
?
Cary Jacobson (02:04):
There are so many reasons to choose mediation
over litigation.
Some of them are practical.
Mediation is private.
You're not going to be in acourtroom, you know, spilling
all of your public informationto everyone who's watching.
It's confidential, so thethings that are said in
mediation are not going to bereleased to anyone else.
(02:25):
You know you get to have afrank conversation with your
spouse on what needs to be dealtwith and the reasons behind
that.
It's also really working onfocusing on solutions.
You know, when we're in courtit's looking at all of the
terrible things that happenedthat got us to where they are.
Mediation really shifts thatfocus from not what happened,
(02:51):
but this is where we are now andwhat are we going to do going
forward.
So it's creating solutions thathopefully will help them be
better co-parents if they havekids less adversarial going
forward, parents if they havekids less adversarial going
forward.
And, honestly, the other bigthing is that mediation is much
(03:11):
less expensive and is so muchfaster than the traditional
litigation practice.
Charlie McDermott (03:16):
Wow, definitely sounds like that's
the way to go, but is mediationright for everyone?
Cary Jacobson (03:23):
The quick answer is no, though I would say it's.
It is right for more peoplethan they may necessarily think.
So some people have themisconception that okay, well,
my spouse and I already agree.
Do we really need mediation?
The answer is actuallymediation can be a very easy way
for you to get your agreementon paper, instead of doing it
(03:47):
yourself and doing it wrong orhiring the attorneys to kind of
make it more complicated than itneeds to be the other times.
Or the other misconception is mystaff and I don't agree on
anything and so we can't domediation.
And really that's whatmediation is there for.
(04:08):
It's so we can try to findthose things where you and your
spouse may find agreement andbeing creative and thinking
outside the box.
Where I think it can bechallenging in to for mediation
to work is if one spouse issimply looking to spite the
other you know they're out forrevenge or something along those
(04:32):
lines or if there's a majorpower imbalance you know one
spouse who simply doesn't haveas much information and doesn't
have that support team that isstanding behind them in the back
room.
Charlie McDermott (04:47):
It's a good sense.
So, with all your experience inmediation, what benefits have
you seen that you can speak to?
Cary Jacobson (04:57):
Well, the reason I started focusing on mediation
and other out-of-courtresolutions is because I saw how
detrimental the litigationpractice really was to families,
even when people didn'tnecessarily need to be in
communication.
They simply thought that'swhere they needed to go.
So mediation couples typicallyleave with less conflict because
(05:21):
now we mirror what thatcommunication should look like.
They often walk out ofmediation with healthier
co-parenting relationships whichis so important if they have
kids of any age, and they trulywalk away with a plan that's
going to be tailored to theirfamily, instead of a judge, you
(05:41):
know, picking something thatjust doesn't work for them
instead of a judge, you knowpicking something that that just
doesn't work for them.
So then what about, or, or, Iguess, how does mediation reduce
(06:01):
conflict?
Like I said before, we wereally shift that focus and look
at what is going to happen inthe future, so we don't go back
and rehash past the greatarguments we don't, you know,
talk about what really led themto divorce in the right now
we're really focusing on.
(06:21):
Well, can we set the two ofthem up going forward so it does
reduce conflict, and sometimesthat could be creating a
communication protocol.
It can be.
Well, let's talk about howyou're going to share calendars,
okay.
Well, instead of leaving timesfor transitions up in the air,
(06:45):
let's get specific about whateach holiday is going to look
like, the days and the weeks andtimes that transitions of the
kids are going to take place.
Charlie McDermott (07:04):
So we get really focused on all the
minutia so it reduces conflictin the future.
How about?
Cary Jacobson (07:08):
the all-important money and time question.
Yeah, so litigation can lastyears and, unfortunately, on
average probably is aboutanywhere between $30,000 to
$60,000 per spouse.
Wow, mediation is a fraction ofthat.
Usually, you know, our couplesare spending less than $10,000
(07:31):
together and we often are donein as little as one media
session.
Charlie McDermott (07:37):
So, Cary, can you walk us through the process
?
Cary Jacobson (07:40):
Absolutely, and it slightly varies depending on
each couple and where they arein the process.
But really, what we start withis a joint consultation where I
get a better sense of what theissues are that the couple needs
to address, and then, whenwe're in our mediation sessions,
it's a time for us to gatherall of the financial information
(08:03):
, the parenting information, howthey're going to co-care with
one another, what the scheduleis going to look like and, going
through each of the issues, howthey're going to divide
property, anything related to,you know, financial support.
Once the parties have reachedthat final agreement, then we
(08:24):
actually draft the mediatedmarital settlement agreement
that eventually will be filedwith the court in order for the
divorce to be finalized, andthis process, depending on how
complicated their situation is,can take anywhere from two weeks
to about six to eight weeks.
Charlie McDermott (08:45):
Wow, big difference, big difference.
So what role do you play asmediator?
Cary Jacobson (08:51):
Yeah, so when I'm working as a mediator, I take
off my attorney hat.
I'm no longer giving either orany sort of legal advice and I'm
not taking sides and I'm notmaking any judgments between
parties.
Really, my job is to guide theconversation.
Talk about legal concepts so Ican talk about, you know, child
(09:14):
support in Maryland iscalculated or how retirement is
divided, the mechanics of that.
But ultimately it's up to theparties to decide how they want
to arrange that agreementbetween themselves.
And if they need legal advice,that is when I would refer them
absolutely out to an attorneythat can help them decide, you
(09:36):
know, if this agreement is intheir best interest.
Charlie McDermott (09:40):
Okay, okay, how about Cary, Misconceptions,
what, what kinds ofmisconceptions that people have
about that whole, the wholemediation process?
Cary Jacobson (09:49):
I think sometimes a lot of people think mediation
is kind of giving in or couldturn into like a therapy session
, and it's really not meant tobe that.
It's meant to be a structurednegotiation where we're focused
on the particular issues.
We're talking about practicalsteps that they're going to take
and I'm helping them try toreach agreements on these issues
(10:12):
that work for them and theirfamilies.
Charlie McDermott (10:15):
How about a success story that comes to mind
, anything that you can share.
Cary Jacobson (10:20):
The one that really sticks out is a couple
came into mediation and wehandle all of our mediations
virtually, so they came into avirtual Zoom room and they were
really stuck on how they'regoing to, you know, co-parent
their young kids and throughoutthe mediation sessions we really
(10:43):
helped them build a schedulethat fit with their kids'
routines.
You know their kids'personalities and the parents'
work schedules and now they areco-parenting with so much less
stress and the kids are reallythriving through the new
schedule.
Charlie McDermott (11:01):
Yeah, that's great.
So now that we heard thesuccess, it's only bare that I
ask the other question so hasmediation ever not worked in
your experience?
Cary Jacobson (11:13):
Fortunately for us, it's pretty rare that we
have scenarios where mediationdoesn't work, but you know there
are some times when, forvarious reasons, it hasn't.
One that really sticks out isthat one spouse in the mediation
simply wasn't being honestabout their finances.
(11:33):
And mediation really only worksif both parties are transparent
and both parties understandwhat exactly they're working
with.
You know, it's very common forus to work with a couple where
one of the spouses has not beenas involved in the finances, so
they just have less information,and sometimes part of the
(11:55):
process is making sure theyunderstand everything that we're
working with and talking aboutbefore they actually file ISE
agreements.
Charlie McDermott (12:04):
Get into some practical tips, Cary.
What should people do toprepare for mediation?
Cary Jacobson (12:10):
Absolutely so.
After that consultation, someof the first things that people
should really be doing is first,gathering all of that financial
documentation.
So if parties don't have all ofthat available and both parties
aren't aware of all of thefinances, it's a great time to
(12:30):
gather that stuff and also shareit with each other, so
everybody's on the same pagewith what the finance is on.
Share it with each other, soeverybody's on the same page
with what the finance is on.
The second major tip is to foreach spouse to really get clear
on their top priorities.
You know, versus those thingsthat they would really like to,
(12:52):
is it more important that theyhave quote unquote alimony or
child support versus having youknow something else that might
be that they might enjoy, butit's not necessary?
And then the third is reallycoming into mediation with an
open mind and not necessarilyhaving it set exactly the way
that they want it.
Mindset is a can make a hugedifference, and compromise
(13:15):
really is part of the mediationprocess.
Charlie McDermott (13:19):
Let's talk about mindset.
What mindset leads to success?
Cary Jacobson (13:25):
It really is all about flexibility.
If you come into mediationthinking you're going to get
100% of exactly what you want,that's not generally practical.
100% of exactly what you want,that's not generally practical.
Mediation works best when bothparties are willing to
compromise to, you know, find aworkable solution, and I hope
(13:47):
that I can give some tools tohelp people, you know, find
those workable solutions.
Part of what I try to do isgive other people options, what
I've seen other couples do inthe past, and it's not that.
Maybe it's also providingprofessional resources where
they can get more information orresources, professional
(14:09):
guidance.
Charlie McDermott (14:11):
Awesome, awesome.
So how do you talk to areluctant spouse about mediation
?
Cary Jacobson (14:19):
Yeah, so this is very common.
You know where one party wantsto do mediation, the other one's
not necessarily sure thatthat's the route they want to
take.
I think it's framing it as away to protect their kids if
they have them, to reduce stress, to also emphasize the fact
that this process is going to bemuch quicker, less expensive
(14:43):
and then really gives the otherboth of them more control over
the outcome, as opposed to thealternative of leaving it to a
judge to make a decision.
Charlie McDermott (14:54):
Good stuff, Barry, and now you've created a
tool for people preparing formediation the step-by-step guide
to divorce mediation.
Can you share what's inside?
Cary Jacobson (15:04):
Yes.
So this guide is really to be apractical roadmap.
It includes checklists, someworksheets, timelines, budgeting
tools, so it's got you know anasset list, a budget tracker.
It even gives some samplecustody schedules and it's
(15:25):
really there to help people feelmore organized and less
overwhelmed.
Before you know, to do thisguide during mediation, either
before and or during, so thatthey come into the mediation
more confident and prepared.
Charlie McDermott (15:43):
Yeah, it sounds like a real, really
useful tool.
Now listeners can grab a copyright.
They just go to stan.
store/jacobsonfamilylaw.
That's Stan S, as in Sam T, asin Tom A N, as in Nancy
store/jacobsonfamilylaw, andwe'll have a link in the show
(16:04):
notes as well.
So to wrap things up here, Cary, what would you say that one
piece of advice you'd give toour listeners today?
Cary Jacobson (16:16):
I think, first and foremost, is that divorce
doesn't have to be a battlefieldand that you do not have to
file for divorce in court to getthe process started.
I think so many people thinkthat that is their absolute
first step and I'm here to saythat that is not your first step
.
Think that that is theirabsolute first step, and I'm
here to say that that is notyour first step.
(16:37):
You can actually resolve theseissues outside of court first,
and mediation is a great way todo that and it really gives both
parties the chance to separatewith dignity, protect your kids
and move forward with lessdamage.
Charlie McDermott (16:51):
How can people connect with you?
Cary Jacobson (16:53):
Yeah, the best way to find us is through our
website, which isjacobsonfamilylaw.
com, and even though we arelicensed in Maryland for divorce
, we can actually mediate withcouples anyway, so you can go
onto our website and actuallyschedule that joint consultation
for mediation.
You can also find us on socialmedia on TikTok, linkedin and
(17:17):
Facebook under Jacobson FamilyFamily Law, and so if you're
ready to schedule a consultation, you can find that online.
Charlie McDermott (17:24):
Cary, thank you for sharing your insight
today and thank you to ourlisteners for tuning in to
Divorce Diaries Lessons from theTrenches.
Don't forget to check out thestep-by-step mediation guide
linked in the show notes.
Cary, you have a great day.
We'll see you in the nextepisode.
Cary Jacobson (17:41):
You as well.
Intro/Close (17:42):
Thanks, Thanks for joining us today on this episode
of Divorce Diaries.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit jacobsonfamilylawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
(18:03):
and guidance.
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