March 4, 2025 • 19 mins
Unlock the keys to understanding child custody with expert insights from host Cary Jacobson, attorney and mediator. In this episode, Cary dives into the benefits of flexibility, open communication, and mediation as alternatives to drawn-out court battles. She discusses how to navigate the sometimes turbulent waters of divorce by mastering the distinctions between legal and physical custody. Listen now to gain the knowledge necessary to make informed decisions about child custody.
Visit jacobsonworkshop.com to learn more.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
One way for people to modify that arrangement would
be for them to simply reach anagreement with one another
whether that's on their own orgoing back to mediation to
address that and coming up withbasically a new agreement as to
what that arrangement is goingto look like look like.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome to divorce diaries, where attorney Carrie
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Well, welcome.
This is Charlie McDermott.
Carrie, can I use the wordexecutive producer?
That sounds so much moreofficial rather than just
producer.
Can you promote me to executive?
Yes, charlie McDermott, theexecutive producer now and
co-host.
I'm here with Carrie Jacobson,by the way.
Carrie, how are your holidays?
(01:04):
How are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Doing well, though it feels like it is still the
holidays.
We are experiencing a bit of asnowstorm today, so kids are
outplayed.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Love it, love it, and we were this close to having a
white Christmas.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
But maybe next year.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Well, speaking of kids a really important topic
today, carrie, understandingchild custody and I was going to
go through just a series ofquestions to just tee things up
and allow you to help youraudience best understand this
you game.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I'm absolutely game.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Yeah, it's what you do, Right?
So let's start with just theoverall.
Can you explain what childcustody, child custody entails
and what its critical aspect inthe whole divorce proceedings?
You know how does it fit in.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Absolutely so.
Every state it's going to bedifferent, but here in Maryland
we are.
Typically we're talking abouttwo distinct issues.
When we, when somebody refersto custody, there's legal
custody and that is reallytalking about who's authorized
and empowered to make thosereally important decisions
regarding the kids, whetherthat's medical care, schooling,
(02:21):
if they're going to go toprivate school versus public
school, what religion they maybe practicing over time, and,
you know, discipline and longrange issues, those you know,
really substantive issues.
That's when we're dealing withlegal custody.
And then we're talking aboutphysical custody.
You know we're talking abouthow parents are going to share
(02:44):
time with their children, andthat can be everything from, you
know, one parent having thechildren primarily to the
parents really sharing thatequally.
But a lot of that depends onwhat you know, what's really
best for them and best for thekids.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Yeah, so would those then be the two primary types of
child custody arrangements, thephysical and the legal?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yes, so those are the two things that we're going to
really be focusing on, and then,within them, there are
different ways that parents canhold those legal custody and
that physical custody.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Okay, okay and wow.
You know I never, never, gavethought to all of the different
decisions that need to be made.
I mean on the legal side,you're right, like religion and
schools and all, wow, wow.
So do you find that thesecouples come in with with an
(03:49):
understanding, or, or are manyof these kind of worked out on
the legal side, and and is thatwhere, like, like, how does that
typically play out?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yeah, so you know where I typically see parents
having struggles when we'retalking about legal custody
decisions, right?
Oftentimes it's around whethera child is going to participate
in some sort of mental health,you know, are they going to see
(04:22):
a therapist, are they going tobe medicated for a mental health
condition?
Oftentimes those are issuesparents may have disputes about.
Sometimes it is vaccinations.
You know that came up a lotduring the COVID era.
You know parents havingdiffering perspectives on
(04:44):
whether or not children shouldfollow a, you know, a particular
vaccination schedule.
I don't see as often parentsarguing over, you know, should
the child have routine medicalcare?
Should the child have some sortof emergency care, that sort of
thing on the medical side.
(05:05):
When we're talking aboutreligion, obviously that can be
complicated if parties, you knowif parents, are of differing
religions, and so it's reallyhaving a conversation about well
, what is the child going tosubscribe to?
Are you going to, you know,have them follow a particular
religion?
And if so, what does that looklike?
(05:25):
And when we are dealing withschool sometimes, that is, you
know, is the child going toparticipate in attend public
school or private school?
And then, if it's public school, a lot of times that's based on
where one parent, where thechild, is primarily residing.
So a lot of that comes down toyou know what the location of
(05:48):
the school is.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Okay, yeah.
Well, how about?
What should parents considerwhen creating a custody
agreement?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
So back on the legal side of things, it's really are
the two of you able tocommunicate with one another and
making those importantdecisions regarding the kids,
right?
So there are different types ofways that legal custody can be
addressed.
It can be that parents havejoint legal custody, meaning
(06:22):
they have to make thoseimportant decisions together and
one can't trump the other,right?
So they are basically on equalfooting when making those
decisions.
One scenario could be that oneparent would have sole legal
custody decision making.
So I will say, in my experience, that doesn't happen quite as
(06:42):
often these days, unless oneparent really has been absent or
has in some way made poordecisions for a child.
And then the other kind ofhybrid is having joint legal
custody with one parent having afinal tie breaking authority, a
(07:07):
final tie-breaking authority.
So you know, scenarios havehappened where maybe one parent
is a medical professional, somaybe that person gets the
medical decision-making and viceversa.
You know, that sort of thing.
When we're talking about thephysical access, there's lots of
things that come into play withconsiderations that parents
should be looking at.
One, you know, really basic oneis how close do you live with
(07:31):
one another?
You know, are you in the samestate.
Are you down the street fromone another?
How long is it going to take tocommute from one parent's house
to the other?
That in and of itself will havea drastic impact on what the
access schedule can be.
Another thing is what is eachparent's work schedule, you know
?
Is someone working overnights?
(07:52):
Is someone on some sort ofshift work?
All of those things can impactwhat the physical access
schedule will look like.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Okay, all right.
So about after the divorce?
Can that arrangement bemodified or, if so, how could
you modify that arrangement?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah.
So one way for people to modifythat arrangement would be for
them to simply reach anagreement with one another,
whether that's on their own orgoing back to mediation to
address that and coming up withbasically a new agreement as to
(08:34):
what that arrangement is goingto look like.
It's best practice to includethat in the court, but it
doesn't have to be.
Sometimes it's really.
You know, I tell a lot of ourclients our goal is that you and
your co-parent are working sowell with one another.
Your agreement kind of goes ina drawer and you just do what
(08:55):
you need to for the benefit ofthe children, right, and so it's
really just working it outbetween yourselves on a
day-to-day basis.
But if there are substantialchanges, such as one parent
relocating out of state you know, we've got parents who get new
jobs, or what have you or if onegets remarried and maybe it's
(09:16):
now moving an hour away, aday-to-day schedule may not
necessarily be appropriate anylonger.
So first is to reach anagreement on your own, and if
that can't happen, then thealternative option would be
going to court and asking thecourt to make a modification.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Okay, okay.
How about the steps?
What steps can parents take toensure the best interest of
their child are prioritized?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
It's really, first and foremost, putting yourself
in your child's shoes.
What would this feel like toyou if you were your child, you
know?
Is it best for your particularchild?
And every child's needs aredifferent, we know.
You know you can have siblingsin the same household who have
different personalities anddifferent needs.
Right, are they?
(10:08):
Do they work well withtransition?
Is that something that's goingto really be OK for them?
Are they laid back and can justkind of go with the flow, or do
they need substantial structureand consistency?
Substantial structure andconsistency so really just
(10:30):
putting the focus on what's bestfor your child instead of how
much time.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
That means for you as a parent, very good, okay, all
right.
So as I'm asking thesequestions, carrie, I just want
to remind your audience that wemay not cover everything.
I mean, we only have so muchtime, carrie, especially coming
back from a long holiday.
But you know, for listeners orviewers, if you have a specific
question about child custody, wehave a text line so you can
(10:59):
text your question over or, forthat matter, call that number
24-7.
Or, for that matter, call thatnumber 24-7.
Obviously, you won't get aphone call back at 2 in the
morning, but certainly Carrie'steam will get back to you.
That number is 443-726-4912.
And again, questions you havespecific to this episode that
(11:22):
Carrie can answer later or getright back to you, or other
topics that you want to hear.
All right, so back to what wehave for this episode, carrie,
what common challenges doparents face with custody
arrangements?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I think one of the most common challenges is
determining what is in yourchild's best interest and
knowing whether or not it'sactually going to work once you
put it in place right.
A lot of times people are doingsetting up the agreement before
trying it out, and so knowingthat there has to be some
(12:01):
flexibility on both parents'part and what might and what you
think may work may notnecessarily be best for everyone
and so being willing to beflexible and making those
changes so that it does workbest for the kids.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
All right, well, and that might cover what I'm going
to ask next, which is how candisputes over custody be
resolved amicably?
Which is how can disputes overcustody be resolved amicably.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah, I think you know it's touching base with one
another and talking about howthe kids are responding to the
new scenario.
And if those communications arenot effective one on one
between your co, you know withyour co-parent then maybe having
(12:47):
that conversation again back inmediation on things that need
to be addressed or, you know,using the alternative resource
of a therapist or co-parentingtherapist that may be able to
help.
So it comes down to onecommunication and two if that's
not working.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
So it comes down to one communication and two, if
that's not working, getprofessional help, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Now you mentioned mediation, so what role does
mediation play in custodydisagreements?
Are having a disagreement abouta particular issue one way that
they can hold legal custody, oreven one way they can hold
legal custody, is that, if theyhave joint decision making, that
if they do have a disputethey'll come back to mediation
(13:38):
to address it before furthermaking a request in court.
And so sometimes we have thosepeople come back to us and to
discuss those issues inmediation, and so really, in
that scenario, as the mediator,we're trying to help those
parents find common ground toaddress that particular issue,
(14:01):
whether it is a change of theschedule or a change of you know
, maybe it's a medical issuethat needs to be addressed,
really focusing on theparticular issue that needs to
be dealt with, because goingback to court to have an issue
resolved takes a substantialamount of time and a substantial
(14:23):
amount of money.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Okay, Carrie.
What advice do you have forparents navigating child custody
during a divorce?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Again, I go back to really, first and foremost,
putting your kids focus, reallyfocusing on what's going to be
best for your child, and that'sgoing to be a mix of things,
right?
So it's going to be obviouslytrying something new, because
now this child is going to begoing between two households,
(14:56):
but, and keeping those lines ofcommunication open between
households and recognizing thatit doesn't have to be all one
way or all the other.
It's really, you know, keepingit fluid and making sure that
the child feels like they arethe center there.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
So how about advice, any advice you can provide for
parents looking to support theirchildren emotionally through
custody transitions?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I think the biggest thing is to encourage the child
to see the other parent, to havea good time with the other
parent, to not feel like they'rehaving to choose one or the
other, to not feel like they'rehaving to choose one or the
other and to not put your ownemotions of.
(15:50):
You know, sometimes it's reallyhard not to be spending time
with your child, right, this isthe first time you've been away
from them for any substantialamount of time and now they're
going to be you know they'regoing to be in the other
parent's household, right, andthat brings up a lot of feelings
for us as parents.
But not putting those feelingson the kid, because they they
(16:14):
can, even if it's not doneintentionally, kids pick up on
that and you know they want tothen soothe you and make you
feel better.
Even if that isn't, you knowreally their role, yeah yeah,
really good point, Carrie.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
for our listeners who want to find out additional
information resources, can youpoint them in a direction here?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yes, absolutely so.
If you go to our website, whichis jacobsonfamilylawcom, and go
to our blog, we have lots ofdifferent blog posts and
resources on various topics,including co-parenting and
custody related issues.
You can also find those on ourYouTube channel.
So, in addition to our podcast.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
There's other video resources there, terrific,
terrific.
And then, well, are there any?
You may not be aware of any,but I just figured I'd throw it
out there Any organizations orprofessionals that you would
recommend for, you know,listeners going through a child
custody situation.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Sure, you know, I always recommend getting your
own therapist potentiallygetting a therapist for your
child who may be going throughthis transition, just as a
resource.
You know, to have someone totalk to if they don't feel
comfortable talking to you andyour co-parent, as you know,
really being able to confide inyou.
(17:49):
There are some support groupsfor kids so you could reach out
to your child's guidancecounselor at their school and
also locally here in HowardCounty we have an organization
called National FamilyResiliency Center NFRC for short
that has a children's supportgroup as well.
(18:10):
So if that would be somethingthat your child could benefit
from, that's a great resource.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Great, great information, carrie.
Thanks for sharing that.
I know that'll be real helpful.
Great, great information,carrie.
Thanks for sharing that.
I know that'll be real helpful.
Well, first episode of the year2025 is here, and this, I know,
is going to be really helpfulfor your audience, carrie.
So thank you for being a partof your show and allowing me to
co-host here, and I'll see yousoon in a future episode.
(18:40):
I hope you'll bring me back.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for helping.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Thanks for joining us today on this episode of
Divorce Diaries.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit jacobsonfamilylawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
One way for people to modify that arrangement would
be for them to simply reach anagreement with one another
whether that's on their own orgoing back to mediation to
address that and coming up withbasically a new agreement as to
what that arrangement is goingto look like look like.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome to divorce diaries, where attorney Carrie
Jacobson brings you real stories, hard truths and practical
advice on navigating divorce andfamily law.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Well, welcome.
This is Charlie McDermott.
Carrie, can I use the wordexecutive producer?
That sounds so much moreofficial rather than just
producer.
Can you promote me to executive?
Yes, charlie McDermott, theexecutive producer now and
co-host.
I'm here with Carrie Jacobson,by the way.
Carrie, how are your holidays?
(01:04):
How are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Doing well, though it feels like it is still the
holidays.
We are experiencing a bit of asnowstorm today, so kids are
outplayed.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Love it, love it, and we were this close to having a
white Christmas.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
But maybe next year.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Well, speaking of kids a really important topic
today, carrie, understandingchild custody and I was going to
go through just a series ofquestions to just tee things up
and allow you to help youraudience best understand this
you game.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I'm absolutely game.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Yeah, it's what you do, Right?
So let's start with just theoverall.
Can you explain what childcustody, child custody entails
and what its critical aspect inthe whole divorce proceedings?
You know how does it fit in.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Absolutely so.
Every state it's going to bedifferent, but here in Maryland
we are.
Typically we're talking abouttwo distinct issues.
When we, when somebody refersto custody, there's legal
custody and that is reallytalking about who's authorized
and empowered to make thosereally important decisions
regarding the kids, whetherthat's medical care, schooling,
(02:21):
if they're going to go toprivate school versus public
school, what religion they maybe practicing over time, and,
you know, discipline and longrange issues, those you know,
really substantive issues.
That's when we're dealing withlegal custody.
And then we're talking aboutphysical custody.
You know we're talking abouthow parents are going to share
(02:44):
time with their children, andthat can be everything from, you
know, one parent having thechildren primarily to the
parents really sharing thatequally.
But a lot of that depends onwhat you know, what's really
best for them and best for thekids.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Yeah, so would those then be the two primary types of
child custody arrangements, thephysical and the legal?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yes, so those are the two things that we're going to
really be focusing on, and then,within them, there are
different ways that parents canhold those legal custody and
that physical custody.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Okay, okay and wow.
You know I never, never, gavethought to all of the different
decisions that need to be made.
I mean on the legal side,you're right, like religion and
schools and all, wow, wow.
So do you find that thesecouples come in with with an
(03:49):
understanding, or, or are manyof these kind of worked out on
the legal side, and and is thatwhere, like, like, how does that
typically play out?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yeah, so you know where I typically see parents
having struggles when we'retalking about legal custody
decisions, right?
Oftentimes it's around whethera child is going to participate
in some sort of mental health,you know, are they going to see
(04:22):
a therapist, are they going tobe medicated for a mental health
condition?
Oftentimes those are issuesparents may have disputes about.
Sometimes it is vaccinations.
You know that came up a lotduring the COVID era.
You know parents havingdiffering perspectives on
(04:44):
whether or not children shouldfollow a, you know, a particular
vaccination schedule.
I don't see as often parentsarguing over, you know, should
the child have routine medicalcare?
Should the child have some sortof emergency care, that sort of
thing on the medical side.
(05:05):
When we're talking aboutreligion, obviously that can be
complicated if parties, you knowif parents, are of differing
religions, and so it's reallyhaving a conversation about well
, what is the child going tosubscribe to?
Are you going to, you know,have them follow a particular
religion?
And if so, what does that looklike?
(05:25):
And when we are dealing withschool sometimes, that is, you
know, is the child going toparticipate in attend public
school or private school?
And then, if it's public school, a lot of times that's based on
where one parent, where thechild, is primarily residing.
So a lot of that comes down toyou know what the location of
(05:48):
the school is.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Okay, yeah.
Well, how about?
What should parents considerwhen creating a custody
agreement?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
So back on the legal side of things, it's really are
the two of you able tocommunicate with one another and
making those importantdecisions regarding the kids,
right?
So there are different types ofways that legal custody can be
addressed.
It can be that parents havejoint legal custody, meaning
(06:22):
they have to make thoseimportant decisions together and
one can't trump the other,right?
So they are basically on equalfooting when making those
decisions.
One scenario could be that oneparent would have sole legal
custody decision making.
So I will say, in my experience, that doesn't happen quite as
(06:42):
often these days, unless oneparent really has been absent or
has in some way made poordecisions for a child.
And then the other kind ofhybrid is having joint legal
custody with one parent having afinal tie breaking authority, a
(07:07):
final tie-breaking authority.
So you know, scenarios havehappened where maybe one parent
is a medical professional, somaybe that person gets the
medical decision-making and viceversa.
You know, that sort of thing.
When we're talking about thephysical access, there's lots of
things that come into play withconsiderations that parents
should be looking at.
One, you know, really basic oneis how close do you live with
(07:31):
one another?
You know, are you in the samestate.
Are you down the street fromone another?
How long is it going to take tocommute from one parent's house
to the other?
That in and of itself will havea drastic impact on what the
access schedule can be.
Another thing is what is eachparent's work schedule, you know
?
Is someone working overnights?
(07:52):
Is someone on some sort ofshift work?
All of those things can impactwhat the physical access
schedule will look like.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Okay, all right.
So about after the divorce?
Can that arrangement bemodified or, if so, how could
you modify that arrangement?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah.
So one way for people to modifythat arrangement would be for
them to simply reach anagreement with one another,
whether that's on their own orgoing back to mediation to
address that and coming up withbasically a new agreement as to
(08:34):
what that arrangement is goingto look like.
It's best practice to includethat in the court, but it
doesn't have to be.
Sometimes it's really.
You know, I tell a lot of ourclients our goal is that you and
your co-parent are working sowell with one another.
Your agreement kind of goes ina drawer and you just do what
(08:55):
you need to for the benefit ofthe children, right, and so it's
really just working it outbetween yourselves on a
day-to-day basis.
But if there are substantialchanges, such as one parent
relocating out of state you know, we've got parents who get new
jobs, or what have you or if onegets remarried and maybe it's
(09:16):
now moving an hour away, aday-to-day schedule may not
necessarily be appropriate anylonger.
So first is to reach anagreement on your own, and if
that can't happen, then thealternative option would be
going to court and asking thecourt to make a modification.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Okay, okay.
How about the steps?
What steps can parents take toensure the best interest of
their child are prioritized?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
It's really, first and foremost, putting yourself
in your child's shoes.
What would this feel like toyou if you were your child, you
know?
Is it best for your particularchild?
And every child's needs aredifferent, we know.
You know you can have siblingsin the same household who have
different personalities anddifferent needs.
Right, are they?
(10:08):
Do they work well withtransition?
Is that something that's goingto really be OK for them?
Are they laid back and can justkind of go with the flow, or do
they need substantial structureand consistency?
Substantial structure andconsistency so really just
(10:30):
putting the focus on what's bestfor your child instead of how
much time.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
That means for you as a parent, very good, okay, all
right.
So as I'm asking thesequestions, carrie, I just want
to remind your audience that wemay not cover everything.
I mean, we only have so muchtime, carrie, especially coming
back from a long holiday.
But you know, for listeners orviewers, if you have a specific
question about child custody, wehave a text line so you can
(10:59):
text your question over or, forthat matter, call that number
24-7.
Or, for that matter, call thatnumber 24-7.
Obviously, you won't get aphone call back at 2 in the
morning, but certainly Carrie'steam will get back to you.
That number is 443-726-4912.
And again, questions you havespecific to this episode that
(11:22):
Carrie can answer later or getright back to you, or other
topics that you want to hear.
All right, so back to what wehave for this episode, carrie,
what common challenges doparents face with custody
arrangements?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I think one of the most common challenges is
determining what is in yourchild's best interest and
knowing whether or not it'sactually going to work once you
put it in place right.
A lot of times people are doingsetting up the agreement before
trying it out, and so knowingthat there has to be some
(12:01):
flexibility on both parents'part and what might and what you
think may work may notnecessarily be best for everyone
and so being willing to beflexible and making those
changes so that it does workbest for the kids.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
All right, well, and that might cover what I'm going
to ask next, which is how candisputes over custody be
resolved amicably?
Which is how can disputes overcustody be resolved amicably.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah, I think you know it's touching base with one
another and talking about howthe kids are responding to the
new scenario.
And if those communications arenot effective one on one
between your co, you know withyour co-parent then maybe having
(12:47):
that conversation again back inmediation on things that need
to be addressed or, you know,using the alternative resource
of a therapist or co-parentingtherapist that may be able to
help.
So it comes down to onecommunication and two if that's
not working.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
So it comes down to one communication and two, if
that's not working, getprofessional help, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Now you mentioned mediation, so what role does
mediation play in custodydisagreements?
Are having a disagreement abouta particular issue one way that
they can hold legal custody, oreven one way they can hold
legal custody, is that, if theyhave joint decision making, that
if they do have a disputethey'll come back to mediation
(13:38):
to address it before furthermaking a request in court.
And so sometimes we have thosepeople come back to us and to
discuss those issues inmediation, and so really, in
that scenario, as the mediator,we're trying to help those
parents find common ground toaddress that particular issue,
(14:01):
whether it is a change of theschedule or a change of you know
, maybe it's a medical issuethat needs to be addressed,
really focusing on theparticular issue that needs to
be dealt with, because goingback to court to have an issue
resolved takes a substantialamount of time and a substantial
(14:23):
amount of money.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Okay, Carrie.
What advice do you have forparents navigating child custody
during a divorce?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Again, I go back to really, first and foremost,
putting your kids focus, reallyfocusing on what's going to be
best for your child, and that'sgoing to be a mix of things,
right?
So it's going to be obviouslytrying something new, because
now this child is going to begoing between two households,
(14:56):
but, and keeping those lines ofcommunication open between
households and recognizing thatit doesn't have to be all one
way or all the other.
It's really, you know, keepingit fluid and making sure that
the child feels like they arethe center there.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
So how about advice, any advice you can provide for
parents looking to support theirchildren emotionally through
custody transitions?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I think the biggest thing is to encourage the child
to see the other parent, to havea good time with the other
parent, to not feel like they'rehaving to choose one or the
other, to not feel like they'rehaving to choose one or the
other and to not put your ownemotions of.
(15:50):
You know, sometimes it's reallyhard not to be spending time
with your child, right, this isthe first time you've been away
from them for any substantialamount of time and now they're
going to be you know they'regoing to be in the other
parent's household, right, andthat brings up a lot of feelings
for us as parents.
But not putting those feelingson the kid, because they they
(16:14):
can, even if it's not doneintentionally, kids pick up on
that and you know they want tothen soothe you and make you
feel better.
Even if that isn't, you knowreally their role, yeah yeah,
really good point, Carrie.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
for our listeners who want to find out additional
information resources, can youpoint them in a direction here?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yes, absolutely so.
If you go to our website, whichis jacobsonfamilylawcom, and go
to our blog, we have lots ofdifferent blog posts and
resources on various topics,including co-parenting and
custody related issues.
You can also find those on ourYouTube channel.
So, in addition to our podcast.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
There's other video resources there, terrific,
terrific.
And then, well, are there any?
You may not be aware of any,but I just figured I'd throw it
out there Any organizations orprofessionals that you would
recommend for, you know,listeners going through a child
custody situation.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Sure, you know, I always recommend getting your
own therapist potentiallygetting a therapist for your
child who may be going throughthis transition, just as a
resource.
You know, to have someone totalk to if they don't feel
comfortable talking to you andyour co-parent, as you know,
really being able to confide inyou.
(17:49):
There are some support groupsfor kids so you could reach out
to your child's guidancecounselor at their school and
also locally here in HowardCounty we have an organization
called National FamilyResiliency Center NFRC for short
that has a children's supportgroup as well.
(18:10):
So if that would be somethingthat your child could benefit
from, that's a great resource.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Great, great information, carrie.
Thanks for sharing that.
I know that'll be real helpful.
Great, great information,carrie.
Thanks for sharing that.
I know that'll be real helpful.
Well, first episode of the year2025 is here, and this, I know,
is going to be really helpfulfor your audience, carrie.
So thank you for being a partof your show and allowing me to
co-host here, and I'll see yousoon in a future episode.
(18:40):
I hope you'll bring me back.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for helping.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Thanks for joining us today on this episode of
Divorce Diaries.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit jacobsonfamilylawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
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