March 18, 2025 • 19 mins
Discover the essential tools you need to navigate the complex world of alimony with insights from host Cary Jacobson, attorney and mediator. Ever wondered how alimony is determined and why it's so different across states? We bring clarity to these questions by focusing on Maryland's unique approach to alimony, breaking down pendente lite, rehabilitative, and permanent types. With Cary's legal expertise, we unravel the different factors courts weigh when deciding on support, shedding light on how age, health, education, and marriage length influence outcomes.
Visit jacobsonworkshop.com to learn more.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
There are officially 11 factors that the court takes
(00:03):
into consideration.
Some of those factors includehow old each party, each of the
people, are, what their healthcondition is, how much education
they may have, how long theyhave been married, who the
primary caretaker of thechildren has been throughout the
marriage.
Who the primary caretaker ofthe children has been throughout
the marriage.
(00:24):
The reason for the divorce canbe one of the potential factors.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
And so there's a whole list of them that the
court has to go through.
Welcome to Divorce Diaries,where attorney Carrie Jacobson
brings you real stories, hardtruths and practical advice on
navigating divorce and familylaw, whether you're going
through it, considering it orjust curious, this is your place
(01:00):
for clarity, confidence andresilience.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Well, welcome back to Divorce Diaries.
Charlie McDermott, producer,co-host today here with Keri
Jacobson.
Keri, how are you?
I'm doing well.
How are you Doing terrific.
And boy, your show is justplugging along and I'm usually
in the background listening.
You have some great expertsthat have come on already and I
know you have more lined up here.
(01:23):
Before we get into today'stopic, I know you have a bunch
on your schedule, One or twoguests that you had planned and
what their topics are.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, we have a mortgage broker coming on who's
going to be talking aboutmortgages through the divorce
process and how complicated thatcan sometimes be, especially in
our current housing marketsituation.
And then we've got, you know,other therapists that are coming
on and you know people just toreally get into some of the
(01:59):
depths of issues that peoplefacing divorce go through every
day yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
that, that's great, love it.
So today we're going to getinto navigating alimony and boy,
there's so much to this wholedivorce thing.
Alimony is a big piece.
So let's start, carrie, withwhat is alimony and why is it a
key component to divorcesettlements.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah, so I will say that alimony is very
jurisdictional, specific meaning.
Every state is going to dosomething different and have
different rules when we'retalking about what alimony is
and how it gets addressed,Because what happens here in
Maryland is going to bedrastically different than what
may be available to listeners inother states.
(02:49):
So definitely talk to someonein your particular state.
But what alimony's real purposeis is it's spousal support.
It's to ultimately get thefinancially dependent spouse on
his or her feet so that they canbe financially independent
themselves and not have tocontinue to rely on that
(03:10):
financially independent spouse.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Okay, okay, so are there different types of alimony
arrangements?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Well, there's different types of alimony.
That itself especially here inMaryland.
So we have three differenttypes of alimony.
The first is what we refer toas pendente lite.
It's basically Latin for what'spending the final litigation,
and so it's.
You're usually during thatseparation period, from the time
parties or spouses separatefrom one another until, if they
(03:42):
are in the court process untiltheir final decision or
agreement is made.
The second type of alimony iswhat we see the most of, which
is something calledrehabilitative.
This is really that scenario toallow the financially
independent spouse to becomeself-supporting.
You know, it could be that thatspouse has been out of the
(04:04):
workforce for a period of timebecause they've been caring for
children, or they've let a youknow certification or a license
lapse during that period of timeand they need to get back into
the workforce.
That's probably the most common.
It can also just be that youknow they've.
It can also just be that youknow they've, they just had not
(04:28):
been working to their fullpotential.
And then the third type ofalimony, which we don't see as
often, is what people refer toas permanent or ongoing alimony,
that alimony that's going tocontinue until either spouse
passes away, typically, or thereceiving spouse potentially
gets remarried.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
And I know we've talked about kind of myths and
misconceptions in the past Doyou find that that last one is
the one that people tend tothink is the norm?
I?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
think so yeah.
They really do kind of thinkthat they may receive alimony or
have to pay alimony for youknow forever.
And that's typically not thecase.
Usually, the only time we seepermanent alimony come into play
is when the financiallydependent spouse, the person who
is receiving funds, can't beself-supporting.
(05:24):
It could be because they havean illness.
You know they're eitherphysically or mentally ill and
cannot work.
Could be because of their ageyou know they've been out of the
workforce or they they can'tget back into the workforce and,
you know, really you knowbecome self-supporting.
I've had some clients.
They're in their 60s and 70sand getting a divorce.
(05:45):
They're not going out andgetting a job and being able to,
you know, make enough money topay for all of their expenses.
Those are probably the mostcommon.
Either a disability or agewould be the reason for a
permanent disability scenario.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Okay, okay, interesting.
So how do courts decide whogets alimony and for how long?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
So it's very complicated.
There are, officially, 11factors that the court takes
into consideration.
Some of those factors includehow old each party, each of the
people, are, what their healthcondition is, how much education
they may have, how long theyhave been married, who the
(06:32):
primary caretaker of thechildren has been throughout the
marriage.
The reason for the divorce canbe one of the potential factors,
and so there's a whole list ofthem that the court has to go
through if they are going to bethe one to make that
determination.
What I say, though, is how muchweight any one judge gives or
(06:57):
places on any one of thosefactors is 100% subjective, and
that's the difficulty.
When we're negotiating and orarguing for alimony in Maryland
is that you can have the sameexact fact pattern heard by five
different judges, and everysingle one of them may do
something different, so this isnot a scenario of you know
(07:22):
really taking it to courtbecause you know what's going to
happen, because you just don't.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
And I mean obviously you've been doing this for a
while.
Do you kind of have an idea,after seeing a judge over and
over and over again, kind ofwhere they're going to head at
the end of the day?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Well, fortunately for us, we don't go to make those
decisions, and so what we reallytell our clients is you don't
want a judge to do this, becauseyou don't know what you're
going to get.
So we use lots of differentthings when we're really most of
the time negotiating this withthe other spouse or their
(08:00):
attorney or their attorney,because, at the end of the day,
what it comes down to is howmuch money does the receiving
spouse need in order to make hisor her financial ends meet,
right?
How much money do they need tocompensate for?
And then, on the other side,how much does the other spouse
(08:21):
who may be paying alimony?
How much can they afford?
You know, after they pay all oftheir expenses, how much money,
if anything, do they have leftover in order to pay support for
the other spouse?
So really, when you get down tothe basics, that's what you're
really looking at.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Okay, okay, and you know, as I guess, part of that,
maybe you've already answered.
It answered what role doesincome disparity play between
spouses?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
it's definitely one of the factors that we're really
looking at.
You know, do you have a spousewho may be making, you know, 80
to 100 000 in some areas?
You know higher, lower cost ofliving areas that may be okay,
um, where we, that doesn't getyou too far.
You know, as far as a household.
(09:09):
But then you may have a spousewho you know.
If you're looking at someonewho on the other side may be
making three, four, $500,000,that's going to be more likely
that you're going to have analimony component versus if you
have a spouse that may be making$150,000.
(09:30):
So income disparity definitelyplays a role in whether or not
it's going to be appropriate.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Okay, okay.
So then, under whatcircumstances can alimony be
either modified or just flat outterminated?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So many times when we're negotiating alimony, one
of the things that we'renegotiating is whether or not
it's even going to be modified.
So oftentimes in thenegotiation each spouse is kind
of giving up other things rightand so many times it's a
(10:10):
non-modifiable situation.
So, no matter what happens inthe future, it can't be modified
and they go into it knowingthat.
If a court makes the decision,then there are scenarios where
it can potentially be modifiedor terminated, which typically
would include you know, theperson who is paying, the
obligor or paying spouse.
(10:31):
Maybe they've lost their job orthey've taken a substantial
reduction in pay.
It could be because they'veretired.
You know, we've got those greatdivorce clients where we are,
you know, seeing 60 and 70 yearolds.
Maybe they are retiring anddon't have that income coming in
(10:51):
.
Maybe it's a financial or ahealth situation where they they
no longer can work, and sothose would be scenarios where
they could come back to court,where the parties could
renegotiate a modification or atermination.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Okay.
So then that maybe answers mynext question, which is how can
someone request a change intheir alimony payments?
Would they need to go back tocourt then?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Generally so, because most of the time those that are
modifiable were as a result ofcourt, though there are
scenarios in the negotiations.
I have seen scenarios wherethey have negotiated kind of
tiers of support.
So we had a scenario where wewere working with a couple in
(11:41):
mediation and the husband inthat particular scenario was a
very high earner and owned abusiness and the wife was a
stay-at-home parent of theirminor children, and in that
scenario they basically tieredit out.
It said this is how muchhusband's going to pay for this
(12:02):
many years.
Said you know, this is how muchhusband's going to pay for this
many years, but if his incomedrops to a certain level, then
alimony will be Y, and if itdrops between this you know
range, then it's going to be X.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
So you can predetermine that in the
negotiation, so that you don'thave to go back to court and
spend all that money onattorney's face.
Yeah, wow, very smart, okay, soI'm learning so much and I hope
I never have to use it.
I'm sure I'll be right.
This is interesting, all right.
So how about some of thechallenges that people face with
alimony agreements?
What comes to mind?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I think you know number one it's definitely
emotion you know, you definitelyhave those scenarios where it's
whether it's the male or femaleit's like I just don't want to
pay Apple money, right.
There is an emotional componentto that and I totally recognize
(13:08):
that, and especially if youhave to make that payment each
and every month like that can bedifficult, um.
So one of the things that weoften talk about is what's
referred to as an alimony buyout, where, instead of paying that
monthly amount each month, youpay a lump sum, um at the at
(13:30):
some point throughout theprocess or over a period of
years, and then it's not.
It doesn't have that sameemotional connection.
I feel, as you know, um, ashaving to write that check each
month or having deducted fromyour paycheck, um.
The other thing that comes intoplay is simply, are there
(13:51):
enough, you know, funds in orderto do an alimony buyout or
structuring it in a way thatworks for both parties' needs?
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Okay, all right.
So then, individuals who wantto protect themselves
financially during negotiationsany tips there?
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Well, if you are the person that may be paying
alimony, don't work extraovertime, don't go out and get
another job, you know, becausethe more income you show, the
more likely it's going to bethat you're going to be paying
(14:34):
more in support.
More likely it's going to bethat you're going to be paying
more in support.
But also, even in thosescenarios where you may have
been the individual receivingsupport, you want to be able to
take care of yourself and notnecessarily have to rely on
someone else.
So it's going to be necessaryin most scenarios for you to be
(14:54):
able to go out and get a job andso going, starting that
research.
How long is it going to takefor you to be self-supporting?
How much education are yougoing to need?
How much time are you going toneed so that you really have
that plan and can make thatrequest in the negotiation?
Speaker 3 (15:14):
and can make that request in the negotiation.
Okay, okay, good stuff.
How about tips for thoseentering the alimony discussions
?
What comes to mind?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
The main thing that everybody needs to do at the
beginning of this process isreally look at your budget, go
through the last 12 months ofexpenses and really put it on
paper.
How much are you spending forhousing, how much are you
spending for food each month,transportation, et cetera?
And that's going to potentiallylook different than what it
will be.
That, this potential secondbudget, which is what is it
(15:51):
going to be when you're out onyour own and you have your own
second residence.
You know that is likely to be adifferent scenario.
But that is the first part ofthis exercise, because you don't
know what you can ask for, nordo you know what you can offer,
unless you know what your budgetis.
So really tackling thosenumbers, looking at past credit
(16:15):
card receipts, your bankstatements, and diving in deep
on the budget is probably themost critical piece, and then
having the backup documentationto support it, so that you can
say I'm not just making this up,this is really backed by.
You know what we have beenspending and what I know it's
going to cost.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
That's great, Great advice.
So wow, this is reallyinsightful.
Any resources or professionalrecommendations, Carrie, that
you can provide your audience?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Yeah, so we have on our website the budget templates
that you can use for, you know,when you're diving into that
process and then when we areworking on these negotiations.
Many times we will work withsome of our professionals that
we've had as guests, which arecertified divorce financial
(17:12):
analysts.
They really can help us look atthose budgets and create that
financial plan to determine whatyour needs are if you are the
one receiving support and whatyour ability to pay will be, if
you are the one who may have topay support, whether it's going
to be possible for you to do analimony buyout.
(17:33):
What does that?
How does that impact yourfinancial plan going forward?
You know so working with thatteam, extra team member is
always helpful when we'redealing with alimony
negotiations.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Well, awesome, awesome.
So, yeah, you and your teamhave done such a nice job of
putting together these resourcesfor your listeners and viewers.
You can go to Jacobson FamilyLaw dot com Jacobson Family Law
dot com for those resources andthen other episodes you know
(18:08):
your interviews with yourdifferent professionals and
upcoming with the mortgageprofessional and upcoming with
the mortgage professional.
I think is just a really goodrecommendation for anyone
listening and really want to putall the pieces together, or the
puzzle, and be totally preparedas much as you possibly can
before, I guess, making thatdecision.
So well, carrie, thank youagain for carving out time and
(18:33):
until next episode, have anawesome day.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You too.
Thank you again for carving outtime and, until next episode,
have an awesome day.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
You too.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for joining us today onthis episode of Divorce Diaries.
Remember, every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit JacobsonFamilyLawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
There are officially 11 factors that the court takes
(00:03):
into consideration.
Some of those factors includehow old each party, each of the
people, are, what their healthcondition is, how much education
they may have, how long theyhave been married, who the
primary caretaker of thechildren has been throughout the
marriage.
Who the primary caretaker ofthe children has been throughout
the marriage.
(00:24):
The reason for the divorce canbe one of the potential factors.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
And so there's a whole list of them that the
court has to go through.
Welcome to Divorce Diaries,where attorney Carrie Jacobson
brings you real stories, hardtruths and practical advice on
navigating divorce and familylaw, whether you're going
through it, considering it orjust curious, this is your place
(01:00):
for clarity, confidence andresilience.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Well, welcome back to Divorce Diaries.
Charlie McDermott, producer,co-host today here with Keri
Jacobson.
Keri, how are you?
I'm doing well.
How are you Doing terrific.
And boy, your show is justplugging along and I'm usually
in the background listening.
You have some great expertsthat have come on already and I
know you have more lined up here.
(01:23):
Before we get into today'stopic, I know you have a bunch
on your schedule, One or twoguests that you had planned and
what their topics are.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, we have a mortgage broker coming on who's
going to be talking aboutmortgages through the divorce
process and how complicated thatcan sometimes be, especially in
our current housing marketsituation.
And then we've got, you know,other therapists that are coming
on and you know people just toreally get into some of the
(01:59):
depths of issues that peoplefacing divorce go through every
day yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
that, that's great, love it.
So today we're going to getinto navigating alimony and boy,
there's so much to this wholedivorce thing.
Alimony is a big piece.
So let's start, carrie, withwhat is alimony and why is it a
key component to divorcesettlements.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah, so I will say that alimony is very
jurisdictional, specific meaning.
Every state is going to dosomething different and have
different rules when we'retalking about what alimony is
and how it gets addressed,Because what happens here in
Maryland is going to bedrastically different than what
may be available to listeners inother states.
(02:49):
So definitely talk to someonein your particular state.
But what alimony's real purposeis is it's spousal support.
It's to ultimately get thefinancially dependent spouse on
his or her feet so that they canbe financially independent
themselves and not have tocontinue to rely on that
(03:10):
financially independent spouse.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Okay, okay, so are there different types of alimony
arrangements?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Well, there's different types of alimony.
That itself especially here inMaryland.
So we have three differenttypes of alimony.
The first is what we refer toas pendente lite.
It's basically Latin for what'spending the final litigation,
and so it's.
You're usually during thatseparation period, from the time
parties or spouses separatefrom one another until, if they
(03:42):
are in the court process untiltheir final decision or
agreement is made.
The second type of alimony iswhat we see the most of, which
is something calledrehabilitative.
This is really that scenario toallow the financially
independent spouse to becomeself-supporting.
You know, it could be that thatspouse has been out of the
(04:04):
workforce for a period of timebecause they've been caring for
children, or they've let a youknow certification or a license
lapse during that period of timeand they need to get back into
the workforce.
That's probably the most common.
It can also just be that youknow they've.
It can also just be that youknow they've, they just had not
(04:28):
been working to their fullpotential.
And then the third type ofalimony, which we don't see as
often, is what people refer toas permanent or ongoing alimony,
that alimony that's going tocontinue until either spouse
passes away, typically, or thereceiving spouse potentially
gets remarried.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
And I know we've talked about kind of myths and
misconceptions in the past Doyou find that that last one is
the one that people tend tothink is the norm?
I?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
think so yeah.
They really do kind of thinkthat they may receive alimony or
have to pay alimony for youknow forever.
And that's typically not thecase.
Usually, the only time we seepermanent alimony come into play
is when the financiallydependent spouse, the person who
is receiving funds, can't beself-supporting.
(05:24):
It could be because they havean illness.
You know they're eitherphysically or mentally ill and
cannot work.
Could be because of their ageyou know they've been out of the
workforce or they they can'tget back into the workforce and,
you know, really you knowbecome self-supporting.
I've had some clients.
They're in their 60s and 70sand getting a divorce.
(05:45):
They're not going out andgetting a job and being able to,
you know, make enough money topay for all of their expenses.
Those are probably the mostcommon.
Either a disability or agewould be the reason for a
permanent disability scenario.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Okay, okay, interesting.
So how do courts decide whogets alimony and for how long?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
So it's very complicated.
There are, officially, 11factors that the court takes
into consideration.
Some of those factors includehow old each party, each of the
people, are, what their healthcondition is, how much education
they may have, how long theyhave been married, who the
(06:32):
primary caretaker of thechildren has been throughout the
marriage.
The reason for the divorce canbe one of the potential factors,
and so there's a whole list ofthem that the court has to go
through if they are going to bethe one to make that
determination.
What I say, though, is how muchweight any one judge gives or
(06:57):
places on any one of thosefactors is 100% subjective, and
that's the difficulty.
When we're negotiating and orarguing for alimony in Maryland
is that you can have the sameexact fact pattern heard by five
different judges, and everysingle one of them may do
something different, so this isnot a scenario of you know
(07:22):
really taking it to courtbecause you know what's going to
happen, because you just don't.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
And I mean obviously you've been doing this for a
while.
Do you kind of have an idea,after seeing a judge over and
over and over again, kind ofwhere they're going to head at
the end of the day?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Well, fortunately for us, we don't go to make those
decisions, and so what we reallytell our clients is you don't
want a judge to do this, becauseyou don't know what you're
going to get.
So we use lots of differentthings when we're really most of
the time negotiating this withthe other spouse or their
(08:00):
attorney or their attorney,because, at the end of the day,
what it comes down to is howmuch money does the receiving
spouse need in order to make hisor her financial ends meet,
right?
How much money do they need tocompensate for?
And then, on the other side,how much does the other spouse
(08:21):
who may be paying alimony?
How much can they afford?
You know, after they pay all oftheir expenses, how much money,
if anything, do they have leftover in order to pay support for
the other spouse?
So really, when you get down tothe basics, that's what you're
really looking at.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Okay, okay, and you know, as I guess, part of that,
maybe you've already answered.
It answered what role doesincome disparity play between
spouses?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
it's definitely one of the factors that we're really
looking at.
You know, do you have a spousewho may be making, you know, 80
to 100 000 in some areas?
You know higher, lower cost ofliving areas that may be okay,
um, where we, that doesn't getyou too far.
You know, as far as a household.
(09:09):
But then you may have a spousewho you know.
If you're looking at someonewho on the other side may be
making three, four, $500,000,that's going to be more likely
that you're going to have analimony component versus if you
have a spouse that may be making$150,000.
(09:30):
So income disparity definitelyplays a role in whether or not
it's going to be appropriate.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Okay, okay.
So then, under whatcircumstances can alimony be
either modified or just flat outterminated?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So many times when we're negotiating alimony, one
of the things that we'renegotiating is whether or not
it's even going to be modified.
So oftentimes in thenegotiation each spouse is kind
of giving up other things rightand so many times it's a
(10:10):
non-modifiable situation.
So, no matter what happens inthe future, it can't be modified
and they go into it knowingthat.
If a court makes the decision,then there are scenarios where
it can potentially be modifiedor terminated, which typically
would include you know, theperson who is paying, the
obligor or paying spouse.
(10:31):
Maybe they've lost their job orthey've taken a substantial
reduction in pay.
It could be because they'veretired.
You know, we've got those greatdivorce clients where we are,
you know, seeing 60 and 70 yearolds.
Maybe they are retiring anddon't have that income coming in
(10:51):
.
Maybe it's a financial or ahealth situation where they they
no longer can work, and sothose would be scenarios where
they could come back to court,where the parties could
renegotiate a modification or atermination.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Okay.
So then that maybe answers mynext question, which is how can
someone request a change intheir alimony payments?
Would they need to go back tocourt then?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Generally so, because most of the time those that are
modifiable were as a result ofcourt, though there are
scenarios in the negotiations.
I have seen scenarios wherethey have negotiated kind of
tiers of support.
So we had a scenario where wewere working with a couple in
(11:41):
mediation and the husband inthat particular scenario was a
very high earner and owned abusiness and the wife was a
stay-at-home parent of theirminor children, and in that
scenario they basically tieredit out.
It said this is how muchhusband's going to pay for this
(12:02):
many years.
Said you know, this is how muchhusband's going to pay for this
many years, but if his incomedrops to a certain level, then
alimony will be Y, and if itdrops between this you know
range, then it's going to be X.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
So you can predetermine that in the
negotiation, so that you don'thave to go back to court and
spend all that money onattorney's face.
Yeah, wow, very smart, okay, soI'm learning so much and I hope
I never have to use it.
I'm sure I'll be right.
This is interesting, all right.
So how about some of thechallenges that people face with
alimony agreements?
What comes to mind?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I think you know number one it's definitely
emotion you know, you definitelyhave those scenarios where it's
whether it's the male or femaleit's like I just don't want to
pay Apple money, right.
There is an emotional componentto that and I totally recognize
(13:08):
that, and especially if youhave to make that payment each
and every month like that can bedifficult, um.
So one of the things that weoften talk about is what's
referred to as an alimony buyout, where, instead of paying that
monthly amount each month, youpay a lump sum, um at the at
(13:30):
some point throughout theprocess or over a period of
years, and then it's not.
It doesn't have that sameemotional connection.
I feel, as you know, um, ashaving to write that check each
month or having deducted fromyour paycheck, um.
The other thing that comes intoplay is simply, are there
(13:51):
enough, you know, funds in orderto do an alimony buyout or
structuring it in a way thatworks for both parties' needs?
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Okay, all right.
So then, individuals who wantto protect themselves
financially during negotiationsany tips there?
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Well, if you are the person that may be paying
alimony, don't work extraovertime, don't go out and get
another job, you know, becausethe more income you show, the
more likely it's going to bethat you're going to be paying
(14:34):
more in support.
More likely it's going to bethat you're going to be paying
more in support.
But also, even in thosescenarios where you may have
been the individual receivingsupport, you want to be able to
take care of yourself and notnecessarily have to rely on
someone else.
So it's going to be necessaryin most scenarios for you to be
(14:54):
able to go out and get a job andso going, starting that
research.
How long is it going to takefor you to be self-supporting?
How much education are yougoing to need?
How much time are you going toneed so that you really have
that plan and can make thatrequest in the negotiation?
Speaker 3 (15:14):
and can make that request in the negotiation.
Okay, okay, good stuff.
How about tips for thoseentering the alimony discussions
?
What comes to mind?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
The main thing that everybody needs to do at the
beginning of this process isreally look at your budget, go
through the last 12 months ofexpenses and really put it on
paper.
How much are you spending forhousing, how much are you
spending for food each month,transportation, et cetera?
And that's going to potentiallylook different than what it
will be.
That, this potential secondbudget, which is what is it
(15:51):
going to be when you're out onyour own and you have your own
second residence.
You know that is likely to be adifferent scenario.
But that is the first part ofthis exercise, because you don't
know what you can ask for, nordo you know what you can offer,
unless you know what your budgetis.
So really tackling thosenumbers, looking at past credit
(16:15):
card receipts, your bankstatements, and diving in deep
on the budget is probably themost critical piece, and then
having the backup documentationto support it, so that you can
say I'm not just making this up,this is really backed by.
You know what we have beenspending and what I know it's
going to cost.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
That's great, Great advice.
So wow, this is reallyinsightful.
Any resources or professionalrecommendations, Carrie, that
you can provide your audience?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Yeah, so we have on our website the budget templates
that you can use for, you know,when you're diving into that
process and then when we areworking on these negotiations.
Many times we will work withsome of our professionals that
we've had as guests, which arecertified divorce financial
(17:12):
analysts.
They really can help us look atthose budgets and create that
financial plan to determine whatyour needs are if you are the
one receiving support and whatyour ability to pay will be, if
you are the one who may have topay support, whether it's going
to be possible for you to do analimony buyout.
(17:33):
What does that?
How does that impact yourfinancial plan going forward?
You know so working with thatteam, extra team member is
always helpful when we'redealing with alimony
negotiations.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Well, awesome, awesome.
So, yeah, you and your teamhave done such a nice job of
putting together these resourcesfor your listeners and viewers.
You can go to Jacobson FamilyLaw dot com Jacobson Family Law
dot com for those resources andthen other episodes you know
(18:08):
your interviews with yourdifferent professionals and
upcoming with the mortgageprofessional and upcoming with
the mortgage professional.
I think is just a really goodrecommendation for anyone
listening and really want to putall the pieces together, or the
puzzle, and be totally preparedas much as you possibly can
before, I guess, making thatdecision.
So well, carrie, thank youagain for carving out time and
(18:33):
until next episode, have anawesome day.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You too.
Thank you again for carving outtime and, until next episode,
have an awesome day.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
You too.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for joining us today onthis episode of Divorce Diaries.
Remember, every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit JacobsonFamilyLawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
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