Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter Maestrey

The moral of this episode is that when you love them, you make excuses. Rosi talks about her self esteem being attacked and how she learned to get it back. She was always stressed out and didn't realize why. 

When asked would she do it all over again Rosi replied "I'd run and not wait so many years". It wasn't until she began to peel the onion of her relationship did she begin to see him for who he was. She talks about valuing yourself and letting the other person go. She goes on to say that "Once we really see them, it doesn't hurt anymore".

In the first ever interview for this podcast my mom Rosi Maestrey tells us of the exact moment she knew she wanted a divorce and how she distinguished it. She talks about what it was like to walk into an empty space and how she never saw any effort from her then partner towards saving the marriage. It was then she asked a very important question most of us ask ourselves. Did she want to live the rest of her life like this?

In this episode Alex speaks of the importance of being conscious around the kids. To not confuse them with your actions by introducing someone new. Let things settle and then introduce any new person you or your ex dates little by little. Try to keep the kids in the same structure or routine that they had prior to the divorce.

In this episode we explore communication and what could have been done differently. The cost of falling into routine and the importance of staying calm. Alex goes on to share how once he told his truth he had the feeling of a hug weight being lifted from his shoulders. 

In this episode we learn how Alex met his Ex-wife and shares about the road towards the inevitable divorce. Admitting along the way that the most important thing to him was for his kids to feel safe. When asked if he would do anything differently, he replied...

In this episode Alex speaks of how his father joined a group when he went through his divorce. He talks about guilt and feeling wrong. He goes on to say how the two most important people in a child’s point of view are their parents. Kids should not be part of the divorce, you should keep your arguments private.

In this episode Alex shares how long they were together, the time it took to separate and the day he knew it was over for him. He talks about the use of a lawyer and when he chose to begin the legal process. We learn about his guilt and why he stayed longer than he would have liked to.

This episode has Johnny sharing how he prepped for the first six months and how no matter what someone tells you, it is when you accept what’s happening that you begin to understand. He talks about the timeframe in which he did everything, what gave him strength and how he bluffed and she folded. He ends his interview with inspiring words to someone about to go through a divorce by saying “Be who you were supposed to be”.

In this episode things get twisted around and Johnny becomes the interviewer and I the interviewee. I share with him how chasing “why” and the importance of writing this down saved me from gaslighting. I also explain that writing things down saved me time and money when building a strategy for my exit.  When you know what your choices you begin to become the mvp of your team again. 

This episode talks about the anxiety of waiting for it to be over and the importance of having a date when it’s done and over. Having a finality to it gives you a goal. He shares about how he suppressed the critical moments in the beginning with drinking and drugs to avoid reality and how that didn’t help him. In the end, Therapy was super important in helping him cope years later. 

n this episode Johnny Fumero talks us through the rollercoaster of the first six months. The emotional stages, how young he was going through it and the freak show that a divorce becomes. He shares about his father’s sage advice about how his father never lets him forget it. In the end, he tells us how in one split second he knew it was unrepairable. What did he learn to give him that freedom?

In this episode Madeline shares the importance of instinct and trusting your gut before getting married. She talks about having self awareness about you are saying and why when speaking to others.  She also shares what she would do differently if she had to do it all over again. 

In this episode Madeline shares about living in San Francisco and what it was like without any single friends at the start of her divorce.  She shares how building that community was important and how it made a difference for her. She then details her awareness on how much she talked about her divorce and the different friends with whom she shared. 

In this episode you will learn how Madeline viewed exercising and what the outcome of consistency is over the long term. She talks about balance and focus and how it is all necessary to keep you grounded. She also shares something very personal about how she felt within the marriage. How when the divorce was final she could finally relax and not have to...

In this episode we talk about her separation process in the F6M and how they both wanted a clean divorce. Madeline shares who got the dog and why. We learn about how important it is to set boundaries with lawyers and how it sometimes takes a podcast to have one more important conversation with our sister. She concludes this episode how her and the Ex both had doubts before the wedding about... 

In this episode we talk about how the divorce was mutual and how the process of others influenced her. “Sometimes you have to cut people out because they can’t deal with it”. She goes on to share how listening to a song can trigger a memory and shares that what hurt the most after divorce was learning her ex had...