Money or Memories? What Really Matters When We Lose Someone

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Free audio post-production BioPhoniccom.
All right, good evening, goodevening everyone.

(00:40):
Where is everybody at?
Hey, it's good to see everybodyand I just came on because you
know when I have something totalk about, I come and talk
about it.
It's your boy, damon, and I'mhere with the dk entry podcast.
Ah yeah, story time, as always,as always.

(01:01):
So what I'm going to talk aboutis like family deaths, and, um,
it just wanted to touch on that.
You know, just losing a lovedone.
Now, in instance, you know,when you have a patriarch of the
family, you know that'ssomebody just held the family
together, held, you know,everybody together, no matter if
there's any differences betweenyou and your family members or

(01:22):
whatever.
This between you and yourfamily members or whatever, this
one person just held everythingtogether for you.
Then, when that person passesaway, it's like the family just
falls apart for whatever reason.
Then they start bickering, theystart fussing with each other,
they start having problems, andmainly the whole thing is about
money, and it's just.

(01:48):
It seems like that just drivesa wedge in the family because
this one person went away.
Oh no, now everybody feels,though, I'm entitled to
everything, or oh no, this moneyis mine, or whatever.
Let me explain something to you.
For someone that's lost boththeir parents, that money means
nothing to me.
My parents, life, meanteverything to me.
So that bit of money oranything like that, no, I I'm

(02:09):
not prefer to have.
I prefer to have my loved onehere.
But, um, what I want to touchon is losing a spouse.
And you know of something thatI saw and just kind of disturbed
me.
Someone lost their spouse andyou know the person that and I

(02:29):
get it.
They're upset and whatever.
But here's the problem that Ihad was is that you know you say
you was reaching out to thefamily for help.
Now you reached out to thefamily for help, but yet in turn
they're coming to you saying,hey, well, what do you need?

(02:49):
What do you need?
And then you're notreciprocating what you need.
You keep saying that, hey, Ihave to do everything by myself.
Oh, no one's trying to help me.
And I'm like, okay, what do youneed?
Families reached out, hey, whatdo you need?
This and that.
But instead of you saying whatyou need and this is always the

(03:10):
big one you go to social media.
You go to social media.
No one's helping me, no one'sdoing this, I'm doing all this
by myself, I don't have this, Idon't have that.
But the family's in turn sayinghey, we are here for you, what
do you need?
So, again, the communication isnot being reciprocated back of

(03:32):
what you need.
Then you put on a littlespectacle and trying to say, oh,
I'm doing all this by myself,no one's trying to help me.
And the family's like what areyou talking about?
We've been reaching out to you,but you won't communicate back
with us.
So you're making all thearrangements, you're not sitting

(03:55):
up here, you're notcommunicating anything back and
forth.
But the bigger issue was this Um, so when someone again person
lost their spouse, and how areyou just going to cut people out
of things?
And when I mean cut people outof things, I mean cut people out

(04:15):
of things.
You didn't mention parents, youdidn't mention brothers,
sisters, you didn't mentionanything.
It seemed like everything wasjust about you.
And that wasn't the case withthis person that I'm talking
about.
This person was energetic, fullof life, selfless, and when I

(04:40):
tell you you get your shirt offhis back, he would get your
shirt off his back, but in turn,cutting the family out of
things, and I mean cutting themout of things not communicating
with the family, about thingsthat you're doing, things you
want to do and whatever.
And then there was a coupleother things that was in there,
also about you know what he wasdoing, final resting place,

(05:04):
resting place, stuff like thatNothing's being communicated.
But it seems like I just wantedall the spotlight on me and
that was it.
And I, in my opinion this is myopinion, my opinion only I just
thought that was very selfishand inconsiderate, because of
the simple fact that, again, itjust wasn't about you and your

(05:29):
family.
That person had family memberstoo.
That person had of a familythat he took care of.
That was, people were cut outof it, cut completely out of it,
and I mean not even mentionedno pictures in the slideshows,
none of the sort.
And you know, it just saddenedme because, simple fact that,

(05:53):
like wow, can you really be thatselfish?
I mean, this person had a lifeway before he came with you and
you telling me you cut, you cutthat out, even including his
family members.
You cut them out, didn't evenmention the parents.
That's it that that reallybothered me because of the

(06:15):
simple fact that, again, youknow, this man had his hand in a
lot.
This man has done a lot, andfor you to cut out what he's
done, to just make it about you,I just thought that was selfish
and inconsiderate.
And again, this is my opinion,me only, I'm only talking, I'm

(06:38):
not talking for anyone else, I'mtalking about me, from what I
saw of the situation and, like Isaid, it was really really sad.
And I see, ron, it was reallyreally sad and I see, ron, it's
really sad.
My uncle was not mentioned inhis wife's obituary, okay, so
I'm gonna harp on one thing, ron.
So, um, there was a poemwritten by his daughter, right,

(07:03):
and it was on the obituary,right, but the picture above it
was not of his daughter, it wasof her daughter.
Again, I just had a problem.
And then they're trying to say,hey, this was a mistake with
the funeral home.
The funeral home did thatmistake.

(07:23):
Now, they only do what you tellthem to do, they only do what
you tell them to do.
So you know, my thing with thisis that that whole thing, it's
just it really saddened mebecause I'm like, this is really
really sad and, like I said, tocut family members out, to cut,
you know, any of usstepchildren that he may have

(07:47):
took care of it.
I just thought it was wrong and, considering I just thought
that they made it about theirself and you know he's not here,
he's not going to be able tosay anything, and he just made
it out of his self.
They should have had me makethe obituary.
Hey, yeah, probably, but um,like I said, it's just, it just

(08:08):
really sad me, it really reallysad me for someone to me again
to be that selfish.
How can you just cut a wholefamily out of it?
I'm talking about brothers,sisters, you know, nieces,
nephews, or whatever.
It was just like, hey, myfamily gonna be on here, but I
ain't worried about nobody else.
I mean, like I said, picturesof the slide show, not in

(08:32):
pictures of the parents, notpictures of the brothers, the
sisters, it's.
It was just really really sad.
And you know, like I said, it'sreally it's.
It was just a sad situation.
And, like I said, it justreally really sad me to see
there are people out here likethat, there are people out here

(08:54):
that are that selfish andinconsiderate of someone else
that you're just going tocompletely cut somebody's family
out of it or whatever.
And when I tell you, I couldsee the animosity and the anger
that was in that place, I justlike, ooh, I just hope we just
make it out of here.

(09:15):
And you know, ceremony was nice,homegoing service was nice, um,
homegrown service was nice and,like I said, and props to the
fayetteville police department.
Um, they actually gave him alast ride around the city
because he used to work for them.
So props to the fayetteville umpolice department for giving
him a last ride around the city.
Uh, much appreciated to themfor that.
Um.
But, like I said, it was justto them for that.

(09:40):
Um, but, like I said, it wasjust just.
It just sad me to see that it'ssomeone.
It was sad, you know it.
Like I said, it was a wholebunch of stuff and it was like,
oh, he didn't have this, hedidn't have that, and I'm like I
know that's not true, I knowit's not true a lot of things
I'm just restraining back fromsaying.
But, like I said, just fromwhat I saw off the base of it,

(10:03):
it really saddened me as someoneBecause, again, we never want
to lose our loved one.
We all know we have to go homeone day, but for the simple fact
that when we do go, the personthat's supposed to be
representing us.
We will hope they represent usin a right and correct way, but
not be in a way that they're notrepresenting us at all.

(10:27):
And, like I said, it was just,truly, truly sad to me and truly
, truly, it truly made me upset,because the simple fact that
when you see it and you be like,wow, they are really people out
here in the world like this andthey'll, they'll do that to you
and I had to go see my fatherfor you to act like this, yeah,

(10:50):
and it's just, you know, it'sjust a sad situation and a lot
of beer, a lot of bridges wereburnt during this whole
situation, a lot of bridges.
So I just wanted to, um, comeon here and, like I said, just
talk about that for a second.
And you know, it's just.
You know.
Thank you, auntie.
You know it's, it's, it's justtruly, truly sad that you have

(11:22):
to go through that, go forsomething like that.
That's, it's not cool.
It's not cool, though.
It is not cool for someone toact like that, especially when
someone passed away.
And you get these families, likeI said, they bicker when
someone passes away and thebiggest thing they will be
bickering.
Oh, I know they had money, wantmy cousin's money.
Or if they had a house, oh no,the house should have been mine.
And everybody just bickers whensomeone passes away instead of

(11:43):
just sticking together.
If that family member was stillhere, they would say that they
don't want you bickering, oranything like that.
You know?
Yeah, appreciate you, pj.
Um, I'll call you pj, I'll fillyou in.
But, um, like I said, there's.
You know, we shouldn't bebickering, especially when a

(12:05):
loved one passes away.
You know that's not the time tobe bickering, that's not the
time to be putting up there andsitting up there and blaming
people pointing fingers and andyeah, yeah, I saw your post.
I saw your post.
I'm a um, yeah, like I said,we'll, we'll talk, but, um, it's
not the time to be goingthrough anything of the sort of

(12:29):
bickering.
That's the time everybody needsto stick together.
But, like I said, someonepasses away, the first thing
they think about is dollar signsand that's really really sad.
That's really really sad and,like I said, it's sad me to
watch that whole thing unfold.
Especially you cut a wholefamily out of something.
That's just just truly, trulysad.
And, like I said, I'm speakingfor me, and me only.

(12:51):
I'm only speaking from what Isaw.
I'm not speaking for anyoneelse but me.
I'm not speaking for anyoneelse but me.
So again, it's like I said, weshouldn't be bickering, arguing
or fighting when a loved onepasses away.
We got to stick together,because if we don't stick
together, then how are we allgoing to stand up for each other

(13:15):
?
People act weird.
For weddings and funerals, yeah, they do.
Yeah, they are selfish.
And when I tell you selfish, Imean this.
This was just all out selfishfor me and it.
It just makes no sense.
It's truly, truly sad.
I wish it could have.
The outcome could have beenbetter.
It just wasn't, it just wasn't.

(13:38):
And now, even after this, it'slike you know, anytime your own
children come to you and sayswhy are you not talking?
Why are you being so secretive?
Why are you not trying to tellus what's going on?
That's a problem.
Your own children is coming totell you that that's a problem.

(13:59):
Your own children, it's comingto tell you that that's a
problem.
So, but that's.
I just wanted to come on hereand speak of that because, again
, that that bothered me and ittook me a couple days to
actually just process that.
And then, you know, come onhere and just share my feelings
about it because, again, that'snot cool, that's not cool.
That's not cool Again, if youlose your loved one, family's

(14:21):
supposed to stick together.
You know, anybody that's closeto you is supposed to stick
together, but we don't, we don't, and it's truly sad, but we
really need to.
So, anyone that may have tunedin, I appreciate your comments
and I've seen you off Instagram,I see you here on the book and
any other place.
You may have been listening.

(14:41):
But, um, again, if you lose aloved one, please stick with
your family.
Don't be selfish, don't?
Money is not everythingcompared to a human life, and
that's the sad thing.
It's like if feels, though,they're going to get cut out of
something or whatever.
So I start tripping, or theystart tripping, or oh, no, I

(15:05):
that that policy was in my nameand uh, uh, it's, it's, it's
terrible and it's sad and weneed to change it.
But again, I just came on hereto share my two cent about that.
But, again, I just came on hereto share my two cents about
that.
But, like I said, rest in peaceto my boy.
You know, awesome guy andeverything.
If anybody's seen what I postedon my Facebook page.

(15:26):
That's my man.
That's my man and he served hiscountry well.
I thank him for his service,served Fayetteville well.
Thank him for that.
And man was very well in thecommunity also and his
fraternity showed up for him bigtime and shout out to Phi Beta
Sigma Because they came out fullforce to represent him and,

(15:51):
like I said, it was just reallyreally good, showing how much
support that he had.
And you know if you hear myvoice, brother, brother, rest in
peace.
We got it from here.
Thank you all for tuning in.
I'm gonna sign out, um, youknow, you know what season's
coming up, so we'll talk aboutthat, but I just wanted to, um,

(16:11):
jump on here about that.
I appreciate each and every oneof you that always tunes into
me, listens to me, comments.
I appreciate you all.
You know we're going to jumpback on here.
We're going to jump back on thelighter note because football
season starting back up and anyother fun things that you know
really like to come on here andtalk about.
So again, I'm turning off.
I appreciate you and every oneof you that have may have.

(16:33):
Uh, came on, listen, ryan,appreciate you from instagram
and uh, hey, we signed out, hey,football season coming, yeah,
go Ravens.