May 4, 2025 • 53 mins
What if the most important investment you'll ever make isn't in stocks or property—but in yourself? That's the powerful revelation at the heart of this candid conversation between host Damon and educator-entrepreneur Rian Reed.
Through raw personal stories, Damon reveals how ignoring persistent headaches nearly cost him his life when doctors initially dismissed his symptoms. His eventual meningitis diagnosis became a wake-up call that transformed his relationship with his body. "Your body tells you things," he emphasizes, "and if we ignore it, we're gonna end up broke down." This theme of self-advocacy echoes throughout the episode as both speakers share their journeys toward holistic wellness.
The dialogue weaves seamlessly between physical health practices—Damon's passion for roller skating, Rian's commitment to 5am workouts—and the mental disciplines that sustain them through life's challenges. Their approaches demonstrate that successful wellness routines aren't about punishment but finding genuine joy in movement and nutrition. Ryan notes how cooking at home serves both physical health and financial wellness, a particularly relevant insight during times of economic uncertainty.
What distinguishes this conversation is its expansion beyond individual wellness to explore generational and community healing. Both speakers candidly discuss breaking unhealthy family patterns and the importance of passing down positive health practices to children. This concept of "wellness wealth" as family legacy offers a fresh perspective on why self-care matters beyond personal benefit.
The episode culminates with reflections on how individual wellness connects to broader community healing, particularly through compassionate approaches to policing and conflict resolution. Their vulnerability in sharing personal struggles—from homelessness to depression—creates an authentic roadmap for listeners facing their own wellness challenges.
Ready to transform your approach to health? Listen now, then share your own journey by emailing DKandtreepodcast@yahoo.com or visiting Rian's professional services at bossbetty.co. Your body is speaking—are you ready to listen?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Free audio post-production BioPhoniccom.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Good afternoon, good afternoon, uh-oh, let me see,
Good afternoon everyone.
Good afternoon, Uh-oh, let mesee, Good afternoon everyone.
Good afternoon.
I hope everybody's doing a great, great Sunday, even though the
weather is kind of crappy aroundhere, but it's all good.
It's all good.
It's your boy, Damon.
I am here with the DK and Treepodcast.
Remember?
I told you we had a show aboutfitness and health and trying to
keep yourself together, and Ibrought someone special on today
(01:03):
to talk about their journey inthis whole thing.
And even I'm going to talkabout mine too, because, again,
health and fitness and even yourmental being is always
important and you just got totake better care of yourself
these days.
I'm going to let her introduceherself and tell her a little
bit about you, because y'allknow about me.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Hello everyone, my name is Ryan Reed and I am a
educator by trade and also abusiness owner, author and
speaker.
I'm excited to be on thepodcast today to talk about my
health and wellness journey.
I think it's really important,when you wear many hats, to make
(01:45):
sure that you're investing inyourself, so that's why I'm here
today to talk about this topic.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah, and again, it's very important because some
people just don't take theirhealth seriously.
And if you look at when ourparents grew up and everything
all they did was really work,work, work, work, work, you
never really saw them, you know,taking care of their health.
You know they wouldn't say ifthey were sick, they wouldn't
say anything.
If they was going throughsomething, they kept it to
themselves.
And now it's just you have tomake sure that you take care of
(02:16):
yourself so you can live a lotlonger.
You know modern medicine todayhas made it better for us than
what it did back in the day.
So you know, like I said, withmy journey, I'll start off with
my journey.
You know, just especially beingin the careers that I'm in, you
know stressful job, unhealthyeating.
You know back and forth timechanges.
(02:37):
You know you up at this timeyou're going to sleep.
At this time you've eaten late.
It's just not good for yoursystem overall.
So you just have to change thatpattern.
So I went to the doctors and Idon't mind sharing this and my
A1C was up and I explained thatlike, hey, this is not good.
I got to get this A1C downbecause being diabetic is really
(03:01):
not good these days and a lotof people just they're scared to
go to the doctors, they'rescared to want to know what's
going on with them.
One thing about me is that ifsomething's going on with the
body, I'm going to go figure itout, because you have to
understand that, hey,something's going on.
I need to figure it out becauseI've not felt like this before.
(03:21):
So in this journey, I startedworking out, I started changing
my eating and started eating alot more vegetables.
You know, jump rope is one ofmy biggest things I love to do,
but I'm also a big roller skater.
So anybody out there knows thatI'm a big, big roller skater.
So I try to keep the cardio up,I try to keep myself as active
as possible because, again, youknow, in everyday life we just
(03:43):
go through life and we don't bethinking about ourselves
sometimes.
And stress of the job, you know, stress of everything else,
stress coming home, it all wearsthe body down and we just have
to find an outlet to fix that.
And that's one of the thingsthat I did was started working
out, started skating more,started changing the diet, more
jump rope.
(04:04):
You know I'm not a runner,definitely not a runner, but I
will take a nice walk.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So yeah, that's just a little about me yeah, so, um,
I I'm about 38 years old rightnow and I thought about you know
my youth and how I used to playsoftball.
I was on a travel team,all-star team, so I was very
active in sports when I wasyounger and I just remember the
(04:33):
joy and excitement I had playingsports when I was younger.
So, you know, reflecting onagain my job as well as an
educator, being a business owner, being involved in the
community, managing all thosedifferent tasks it makes you not
focus on self, like you weresaying before.
So now I'm more focused on that.
(04:56):
So I go to the gym everymorning at 5 am for about an
hour, about an hour.
I also started cooking more now,so if you go on my Instagram
page, boss Betty, you can seeall the foods that I'm cooking.
(05:17):
Last night, I cooked somemarinated chicken.
I marinated the chicken for 24hours before cooking it and I
had some 24 hours before cookingit and I had some corn.
So I'm making sure that I'meating well and not going out to
eat too, because I think it'simportant to cook for yourself
instead of going out and eating,and that's not just for your
(05:40):
physical health, but also foryour pocket as well, if we are
going to the grocery store andcooking our own food, then we
are also making sure that ourfinancial health is well, just
as we are invested in ourphysical self, which can also
help with stress If you're notoverwhelmed by your lack of
(06:01):
income and lack of money andjust before we came on air, we
were just talking about that.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I just went to the store and I'm looking at the
shelves and they like bare boneempty.
I'm like, oh, my goodness, isthe apocalypse coming?
Let me, let me slow down.
You know the bread was mostlygone.
You know, just, shelves arejust empty and I'm like you know
it's really sad.
Gone, shelves are just empty.
I'm like it's really sad thetime that we're going through
because of the simple fact thatremember back when we were
(06:29):
younger and growing up, you hadto never worry about anything
like that.
Now, in today's society, you'relike, oh my God, am I going to
have a meal?
Can I afford a meal?
We can even talk about gas andelectric.
Can I afford that?
Can I afford the place to live?
What gas and electric?
Can I afford that?
Can I afford the place to live?
You know I'm choosing betweenfood or medicine and that's.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
That's really really sad.
That is that is really sad.
And I also think about to, youknow, intermittent fasting as an
option to make sure that you'reinvesting in your health, and
then, if you don't have themoney, um, you don't have to eat
as much as anymore if you'reusing intermittent fasting.
So it's kind of like a win-winsituation and you just don't
(07:14):
have the income so um reallyreally good make it work hey,
listen, and you gotta do whatyou gotta do.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You do, you have to do what you have to do.
You look at an refrigerator andbe like this is a sad situation
looking ahead, tumbleweed,going across or whatever, but
you just have to find ways.
Again, if you cook for yourselflike what you're doing, right,
you make, you make thesepreparations for yourself to say
, hey, okay, I got this, this,this, this, it's planned out for
the next two weeks, this willhold me over till I get paid,
(07:49):
and bam, and then I just go planit out for the next two weeks
and just plan everything out andyou should be good to go.
But, like I said, I'll shareanother thing with me.
As far as health, this is backaround maybe 2012, 2011.
And again, you got to payattention to your body, because
your body tells you things.
And one day went out to eatright, we all went out to eat,
(08:13):
sat down, and after that I got aheadache.
I was like I don't feel good, Igot a headache.
So I got rid of that headache.
Well, I was trying to get ridof it.
So I talked to the super and Isaid, hey, no, I don't feel good
, can I go home.
He was like, yeah, go ahead.
He said you all right.
No, I said I really don't feelgood.
That was day one.
Day two, right, I still havethis headache.
(08:39):
Now I'm taking everythingTylenol I'm taking.
It's not working.
All right, no, no big deal Now.
So I go back to work the nextday and I'm still going through
this headache and I'm likesomething ain't right.
So I go to the hospital, right,and I kept telling them what
was wrong.
What was wrong and give me aCAT scan.
They said we don't see anything.
(09:00):
That's wrong.
I said, well, something's wrong, cause I don't suffer from
headaches.
I said, so, something's wrong,can you please check again, or
whatever.
So they sent me home, theydischarged me, so I'm home.
We're on day three.
I got this headache, headacheand it's getting worse and I'm
like I don't know what's wrong.
So I went to CVS and I got someBC powder.
(09:20):
I said BC.
I said, all right, let's getthis done.
That didn't work.
I said BC.
I said all right, let's getthis done.
That didn't work.
I said, okay, something's wrong.
When BC power don't work,something's wrong.
I went to another hospital.
By this time my eyes weresensitive to light, my fingers
was tingling, my ears weregetting sensitive to sound and I
couldn't bend my neck and Isaid ugh.
(09:40):
So I said okay.
I said I kept telling hersomething is wrong.
They said, mr Davis, we got tospend your spinal tap.
Okay, fine, give me a spinaltap.
Just before they were finished,they hit a place.
I was like I feel that theysaid don't move, don't move.
So they come back in the hourlater and said Mr Davis, you
have meningitis, we admit you.
(10:09):
You have to pay attention toyour body and if I wouldn't, I
wouldn't be here today and Idon't mind sharing that.
It's because the simple factthat a lot of us out here we
will ignore signs from our bodyand that's why I said it made me
change my aspect of working outfitness.
What's the difference betweensomething's wrong and pain?
So, and then, being in themilitary 21 years, I noted I
(10:30):
knew the difference, but my bodyjust wasn't accustomed to them
anymore.
But if you don't pay attentionto it, we're gonna end up broke
down, we're gonna end up hunchedover, we're gonna end up losing
a limb or something like thatbecause we didn't listen to our
bodies.
So I'm really big on, just likeI said, listening to yourself,
because your body will tell yousomething's wrong and if we
(10:53):
ignore it.
It's a machine, it will breakdown and some people don't
recover from the breakdowns.
So I'm just like you reallyneed to just focus on health
yourself, listen to yourself, goto the doctors hey, you paying
these guys a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
You brought up a really important point about
advocacy in your health as well,because a lot of times you know
, people don't go to the doctorsbecause of historical fears or
they're not listened to whenthey go to the doctors.
So you know you didn't stopwhen they were saying like
(11:33):
you're fine and you're like, no,I'm really not.
So you kept going and findingthe right place for you, and
that's something that peopledon't often do.
So that's really important thatyou, you know, share that about
your story, I can say like I'vehad similar situations as well.
I experienced a depressionbefore when I was going through
(11:57):
breaking up in my marriage.
Thank God that is over.
So I had to realize that themarriage was making me depressed
, the stress in the marriage wascausing me more negative than
(12:18):
good, and I had to realize thatit was that thing to get out of
it.
And then it also pushed me tofocus more on my health as well,
going through that experience,more on my health as well, going
through that experience.
But even with that, talkingwith the doctors, they initially
don't.
It doesn't always feel likethey're taking your voice
(12:39):
seriously, so you have tocontinue to find another person
to go to or just keep on talking.
So this is just an overallmessage to say do not give up on
your investment into yourhealth and you do know your own
body and continue to advocatefor that, especially as black
(13:02):
and brown people and advocatingfor what our health needs are.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, because, again, like it's just like you said,
if I would have just been likeit'll go away, I wouldn't be
here, and I knew that can killyou.
So you know, they sent me to aroom for isolation for three
days and you know, it was theworst thing ever because when
the medicine, the virus wasclashing, it felt like it was a
(13:30):
war going on in my head.
I was like, oh my God, I reallydidn't sleep and you know you
don't sleep in the hospitals, noway.
So and then you know thedoctor's coming to talk to you
and I'm sitting here like, oh myGod, is this my last leg?
Because this guy looks like DrKabuki?
So I'm just like, oh yeah, no,all right, when can I get out of
(13:50):
here?
So at the third day they testme again.
Ok, you get to go home.
Thank you, jesus.
And from that point on I said Iwill always, always make sure
that I took care of my health.
Or if I could help someone, dothem, help them work out.
You know it's sad.
Like I said, we walk down thestreet or we drive and we see
(14:11):
somebody hunched over or they'rewalking on canes or anything
like this.
Could that have prevented.
Maybe, maybe not, I don't know,I'm not the one to say.
But if we take our life and ourhealth very, very seriously, we
can prevent anything that comesout Now.
Time catches all of us, that'sperfectly fine.
But before that time does, atleast we can do something about
(14:34):
slowing it down.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
So, yeah, what I'm focusing on right now is like
how can I have whole lifeintegration between my career
and my health and wellness?
So one of the reasons andsolutions that I think is, you
know, going into policing.
So I'm preparing for my policeexam and I'm making sure that
(15:01):
I'm doing my pushups every dayto get to 15, or actually I want
to get more than 15.
I don't like doing minimum.
Minimum to me sounds basic, soI have to go above and beyond
whatever expectation it is.
So that gives me another pushin my health and wellness by
(15:22):
looking into the police field.
You know I love education.
That is definitely a part of myheart.
But moving forward, I want tohave whole life integration yeah
, and and that's fine.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Hey, come on over, we need the people.
But um, like you said, we'reintegrated.
But, like I said, even when youcome into that type of career
field, it doesn't stop.
You just got to keep going, yougot to find a way, because
again, the schedules change.
You know I'm saying you go fromdays to evenings to midnights
and you know the schedulechanges.
(15:57):
And that's where the unhealthyeating comes in, because I'm not
supposed to be eating at threeo'clock in the morning, put them
up all night and then next dayyou know I'm getting home and
I'm going right to sleep.
So it's just a balance that wehave to find out with trying to
work this all in.
If I'm on evening shift, I workout during the day.
(16:17):
If I'm on day work, I work outduring the evenings.
So you just make sure thatyou're balancing everything out.
And then, if I'm traveling,what I do is I take some workout
clothes with me because I'mgoing to do something.
I take my jump rope with me aslong as I'm doing something, to
make sure I'm keeping myselfactive, or just go for a walk.
If they got a nice little lakesomeplace, go for a walk around
(16:38):
the lake.
Just do something and keepyourself active Because, again,
when you come into a career likethat, it's a lot of stress,
because now we're dealing witheverybody else's problems and
then some people it just mayweigh on them for what you may
see, what you may go through orwhat you know what the next call
(16:58):
could be.
So, yeah, you just got to.
Always your mind has to bestrong and the body has to be
stronger.
So you're just getting through.
You know, like I said, it'sjust one after the other, after
the other, after the other, anda lot of people say, oh, you're
desens.
I said it's just one after theother, after the other, after
the other, and a lot of peoplesay, oh, you're desensitized.
(17:19):
It's never like, no, I'm notdesensitized, it's just the
simple fact that, hey, I have.
Every situation is differentand you got to deal with it
differently.
Every situation that you gothrough is different.
So you have to keep yourselfstrong and then, once, once it's
finally, the day is finallyover.
You just got to have thatmental reset.
But okay, let me go to my happyplace.
If it's working out, it's fine.
If it's roller skating, it'sfine.
(17:45):
If it's whatever your outlet is, it's fine, but have an outlet,
because if you don't have anoutlet, that becomes the biggest
problem, because then they goto the bottle and that's a
problem in itself, right?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, you brought up a good point of like a part of
your physical and mental healthis having an outlet and not
using negative vices to addressthose needs.
So when you are eating healthy,when you are going to the park
and walking around, you areactually like filling your life
with positivity instead ofpicking something that is
(18:15):
actually going to kill youfaster.
I know a lot of people in myfamily, you know, suffer from
alcoholism, or especially myfamily members who've been in
the military.
That is something that I'veseen them experience.
So I also know that that's notsomething that I want for my
(18:35):
life because I've seen whathappens to other people.
So that's not something that Ido often at all because I know
it's harmful.
So, you know, some tips are what, if you are experiencing those
things like, get a sheet ofpaper out and write down like
what brings you joy, what arethe things that you do that
(18:56):
brings you joy, and when you'regoing through these stressful
situations, pick out that listand just pick something Like
even think about like whathappened when you were a child
and it caused you to laugh, oreven go into a comedy show or
things like that to fill yourlife with positivity and joy
(19:17):
instead of the negative.
I know today I also went tochurch and I was supporting a
five-year-old girl in herrecital and I brought her
flowers.
So she got to see the flowersafter the end of her recital and
you know, that also brings mejoy to invest in the youth and
(19:38):
making sure that they feelfilled and loved in whatever
spaces they show up.
So those are other things thatyou can do as well to make sure
that you're investing in yourown health and wellness while
also investing in the communityat the same time.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Amen, because those young ones are our future and
right now they're very misguidedand if we can turn the table
with them, they'll be fine, it'sjust okay.
I'll use roller skating, forexample.
That's a big outlet.
So my daughters, you know, hey,they have to roller skate.
And tell them this is somethingI do, y'all gonna do it.
(20:15):
So putting them on them skatesbecause it gets them off the
street.
Number one, number two, it's anoutlet, it's something they can
learn, enjoy, and then whenthey see that you enjoy it,
they'll start enjoying it too.
And then it just gets passeddown and passed down, and passed
down and passed down.
So see my grandchild on someroller skates.
(20:37):
It's just an amazing thingbecause the simple fact that you
know they're fearless whenthey're kids because they don't
have a fear of falling.
You start getting older, oh man, if I fall it's over, you know.
So you know it's just watchingthe elevation.
Then they want to learn thetricks, just like you do.
They want to learn the steps,they want to learn to move, they
want to learn how to gobackwards.
Well, just turn around.
(20:59):
I got you.
Turn around, turn around.
So that's why I'm a big advocateof roller skating.
I've been doing it for almost30 years and I travel to skate.
I go all over the place toroller skate and when we finish
up here, I'm going skatingtonight too skate.
And when we finish up here, I'mgoing skating tonight too.
So that's just a big thing.
That I love to do is skating.
(21:19):
But again, it's a part of thatfitness for yourself.
You're going to work up a sweat, you're going to keep rolling,
you feel the music and the musicis just you.
You and the music are one.
When you're going around thatring and there was a guy last
week he was actually recording awhole bunch of us going around
and I'm trying to wait to getthe videos because I want to
post them.
So me and one of my buddies, wewere just doing what we do and
(21:43):
he was like, is that a camera?
I said yeah, he's recording us.
It was just fun.
But that's just one of theloves that I have.
It keeps the stress down Because, guess what, I'm hyped up to
know that I'm getting ready togo hit this rink, I'm getting
ready to go roller skating, andyou know, it's just fun.
Then come home, take thatshower, get that rest, get up.
(22:05):
Guess what?
The hustle, don't stop.
First thing go hit thoseweights.
You know what I'm saying?
Thing Go hit those weights.
You know what I'm saying.
Go do that jump rope.
Even if I ain't got time to doall of it, at least do the jump
rope.
It's something, because thatstress that you about to endure
your body, the more strong yourbody is, the more stress your
body can take.
If your body's broke down, it'snot going to be able to take
that stress.
(22:25):
I've been doing it for 19 years, I know.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, what's so powerful, too, about what you
shared is generational wealth offitness and that passing down
the legacy of health andwellness in your family, which
is something that we alsostruggle with in the black and
brown community that we haven'thad access sometimes to joy and
(22:52):
we haven't had access to healthyoptions.
So the fact that you're passingdown wealth through fitness in
your family is really powerful.
So that's an example for us all.
Like, I started off talkingabout me playing sports when I
was little and playing baseball,and that is something that is a
(23:13):
legacy in my family.
I actually have a family memberwho was in the first Negro
baseball league.
So you know we have that legacyof sports in our family and I'm
excited that.
You know I had an opportunityto even play and I hope that one
day, if I have any children,they would love to play baseball
(23:34):
as well, and I don't know ifI'm going to be as hard as my
dad was on me, because he kindof raised me like I was a guy
and not a girl when I wasplaying.
It's a funny story.
I remember it was my 16thbirthday was coming up and he
told me if you don't hit thishome run.
(23:55):
Your birthday party is justcanceled, like don't even worry
about it oh, wow of course, Ihit the home run, though,
because you know, as I said, Ilike to exceed expectations, so
I didn't even have, I don'tthink I even had to run around
the ball was gone.
So just keep on putting thatlove of sports into your family
(24:18):
so you have something to hold onto and we can get away from
this stress and anxiety and justfocus on joy in the work that
we do.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
That's it.
That's it.
It's all about happiness.
It's all about, hey, what can Ido to keep being happy?
Keep being happy, becausethere's negative things that be
in our life and I'm not harpingon your situation, but your
husband your husband was anegative situation in your life.
Right, it could berelationships, it could be the
job, it could be anything.
(24:49):
And especially when you havewhat's going on with the federal
government right now and peoplestressed out you know, I'm
saying that I had a jobyesterday, now I have a job
today, so that's, that's a wholebunch of stress.
So you have to find some way toturn that around.
Hey, what's my outlet?
I understand that I'm goingthrough this over this, but I
can't let that consume me.
I have to get myself out ofthat and figure this out.
(25:12):
But I can't let that consume me.
I have to get myself out ofthat and figure this out.
But, hey, I need some type ofpositivity in my life to offset
all this negativity that I gotgoing on, and that's the biggest
goal that you have to have.
And if you're not strong enoughto do it, that's the problem.
Look at the simple fact thatyou were already defeated here,
so it's breaking down everythingelse.
(25:34):
If you keep this strong andthis strong, you ain't got to
worry about it.
You just keep pushing throughit.
You keep pushing through it.
You keep getting strong.
It's like okay, I understandthis door is closed, but I'm
about to kick it down, I'm goingto make it through here, I'll
be fine, but I just have to turnthis around.
As long as you don't give up,you'll turn it around, no matter
how long it takes.
(25:56):
I did a podcast on this.
I said no storm lasts forever.
No storm lasts forever.
At the end of the storm, whereis that Sunshine?
It's always a light at the endof the tunnel.
We may not see it when we're init at the time, but guess what,
once we get out of there andyou look back, you're like I
never thought I could make itout of that.
(26:17):
And you make it out of it.
You just can't give up.
You can't quit, and giving upon your body is quitting on
yourself.
And that's why, like I said,I'm an advocate for working out,
I'm an advocate for stayingstrong, I'm an advocate for just
passing knowledge, more thananything.
You know, when somebody told methey can't, I said why can't
(26:38):
you ask Well, why can't you?
Well, why can't you do this?
Oh, because of this, this andthis.
Ok, well, that door may beclosed, there's always another
door that opens.
You can't give up.
You can't give up on yourself.
The biggest problem is,sometimes we just give up on
ourselves.
We can't give up on ourselves,even when we down, we could be
defeated.
You know, it seems likenothing's going right, but guess
(27:00):
what?
There's a light at the end ofthe tunnel.
So you always, always bet onyourself.
And that's what I do.
I bet on myself every day, andit's just like with you.
You bet on yourself every day,especially playing softball.
I just find it funny that yourdad motivated you for that home
run.
It was the motivation.
He said it to motivate you.
(27:22):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
So you know what I learned is sometimes negative is
a motivation for me and forother people.
So you know, whatever is thrownat you just like a ball coming
at you when I used to play howfast or slow the ball is coming
I'm going to hit that ball,regardless of if it's a negative
or a positive coming at me.
(27:45):
I'm going to make sure thatball goes in the direction for
my good.
That's a part of the reason whyI even started my business,
because if I'm winning, I wantother people to win too.
So I want people to besuccessful in their careers and
have access to resume writingcover letters.
(28:06):
So I make sure that I do thatfor people.
I can build websites as well,so I make sure that if you have
a dream and a goal and you wantto achieve it, then I'm going to
give you the resources, theencouragement, the love to get
you where you want to go, andthat's really why I started my
(28:27):
business, in addition to theother work that I do.
So it seems like we're verysimilar in um.
You know we can show upanywhere we want to show up.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
That's it.
And we're going to and yourwebsite is right there, um next
to your name, right?
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yes, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yeah, so if anybody's watching, you know, please
write the website down.
I actually went and looked atthe website and I was like, oh
my God, she does all theseservices and it's just so funny
when you find out what someonedo, what they do to help you, to
help you grow, to invest in you, because that's the biggest
thing you need to invest in you.
If you don't invest in you,how's somebody else going to try
(29:06):
to invest in you?
You got to invest in you firstand then you go out.
But there's plenty of resources.
Please, please, check out herwebsite.
It is very, very amazing, veryhelpful.
And she said she hasn't doneher podcast because she got a
podcast on there also.
She hasn't done that, so shehasn't done it in a while, but
she's going to get back to itbecause she's been focused on
(29:28):
other things.
So, and I would love to be aguest on your show also because
the simple fact that, again, yougiving people the ability to
try to help them to besuccessful and that's the one
thing we don't have out here issupport we get a lot of people
that's just so worried abouttheir selves.
It's all about me, self, self,self, and we don't have a lot of
(29:49):
people that's just so worriedabout their selves it's all
about me, self, self, self andwe don't have a lot of people
trying to help each other or tryto help push each other.
I'm the type of guy hey, if Imade it, I want you to make it
too.
You don't have to stay down.
You don't have to do this.
You don't have to just feel asthough you have to settle.
Someone can help elevate you,and if you take the time and all
, of it takes time.
(30:10):
It takes time.
I didn't get to the point whereI am in my life overnight.
It took years and decades.
It took years and decades andI'm still growing, I'm still
evolving and I want to give asmuch knowledge or as much power
to someone as possible to helpthem succeed, to help them be
(30:30):
better than what they wasyesterday.
And that's what we don't havethe encouragement of someone to
try to help someone else dobetter.
Because everybody feels though,oh, I have all this knowledge,
I'm going to keep it to myselfand no one else is going to
benefit from it.
And that's not right.
I will help anybody, the nextperson, the next man, the next
(30:53):
woman, I don't care who you are.
I'll give you the shirt off myback if I think it'll help
benefit you better, because thesimple fact that someone gave me
a chance when I was at thelowest point in my life, I want
to return that favor.
I want to give someone else achance, if they're at lowest, to
get them to the highest pointin their life.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Yeah, when I earned my MBA, one of the parts of the
story of being a business ownerwas it's important to have the
generosity gene as part of yourculture, of your business.
So continue to give freely,because even if you feel like
you invested in someone and theymight've mistreated you or took
(31:37):
advantage of your giving, it'llcome back to you.
I believe that it all comesback to you.
Nothing you put out that's goodis going to come back to you
bad.
So I make sure that that is avalue that I live with and it
also helps with my mental healthas well, because I don't judge
(31:57):
people based on their negativityright, because they could be
hurting and you don't know whatfears that they might have.
So just give compassion andlove to that individual that did
not treat you well when youwere giving, and good is going
to just always be in your heart.
(32:18):
So that means that you are lessstressed and you're not
overwhelmed.
You're not going to be worryingabout what somebody thinks
about you as another thing thatsometimes keeps people down.
So just be authenticallyyourself in love and the
generosity gene to keep ongiving to people.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And, like I said, it's just youif you are that person that
struggled or something.
And now you to the point.
I don't forget, I don't forget,I don't forget the people that
helped me get to where I amtoday, from homeless to where I
am now and I'm not scared toshow it, I was homeless at one
(33:00):
time in my lifetime To where Iam now.
It's a true testament and atrue story and I said I would
share my story one day.
I would just probably write abook about it.
But of everything knoweverything that what I went
through in my lifetime and Iknow I overcome a lot of odds, a
lot of odds growing up inBaltimore City, you know back in
(33:22):
the 80s and the 90s you knowthey weren't giving someone
living over 15 up there at thattime.
You know all of the drug tradewas very heavy up there.
You probably get hooked ondrugs.
You probably be selling drugs.
You probably be locked upbecause you were doing things
that the streets are nowproviding you because they close
all our resources Rec centers,right.
(33:44):
They took that away from us.
When I grew up, mcgruff thecrime dog was there.
Where's McGruff Gone?
Got to file a missing personreport, right.
So all that stuff again fromwhere I came from to where I am
now is a true testimony to say,hey, I survived every R they
threw in front of me.
(34:04):
And guess what?
I'm going to keep pushingthrough it, because when someone
said no, I told him I'm gonnaprove you wrong.
I'm gonna prove you wrong.
You say I can't do something.
Watch me.
And now I have.
And some of those same peoplethat still living now still
can't believe it like that.
I beat all these odds.
(34:26):
That's because I didn't give upon myself.
And was it easy?
No, wasn't easy at all, wasn'teasy.
But guess what?
I'm here today and then just tomeet you and to find out the
services that you provide thatwill help someone like me right,
that could be in the samesituation to make myself grow,
(34:46):
prosper, be better.
So again it's you know, I tellyou, god puts people in your
lives for a reason, and you know, teaching your class that day,
it was a reason why we all met.
So the simple fact that I wasecstatic that when we talk,
let's say hey, let's talk aboutsomething like this.
I said let's talk about yourbusiness also because the simple
(35:08):
fact that anyone that may belistening.
I want them to have thisinformation and they can reach
out to you and that way that canhelp them.
You know, one of the things isthat people that listen to the
show and I look at where theylisten to the show from and one
really amazed me was they'relistening in Ukraine.
I said this place is goingthrough a war and they're
(35:28):
listening to me.
So I'm giving them some type ofcomfort, I'm giving them some
type of joy or something likethat, and I appreciate each and
every listener that comes onhere and listen to anything that
I'm trying to get out, becauseall the negative stuff that's in
this world, we need somepositivity out there and this is
why I'm here.
I never say this is my show.
(35:49):
I said this is our show.
I tell them reach out to me.
Hey, I want to hear from you.
I want to hear how you're doing, because of the simple fact
that, again, I understand peoplego through struggles.
I understand people go throughproblems.
I understand people go througheverything in their lifetime.
But guess what?
The one thing we can do is wecan help you get to someplace
(36:10):
better than what you wasyesterday.
That's my two cents.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
That's powerful, that's really powerful and I
think it's like you said it's acollective story.
You know, sometimes when you'regoing through something, you
don't realize that other peoplemight be experiencing that same
thing, or you know there areresources out there to help you
(36:35):
navigate through an experience.
So you know, like you weresaying, even with advocating at
the doctor's office, continue tobe an advocate for your own
health and wellness by gettingaccess and keep on asking for
hey, do you know someone who canhelp with this or whatever the
need is?
And not giving up in thatprocess, because it might feel
(36:59):
like a lot of doors are closingon you when you are asking for
help, but there are doors thatopen and they're going to be the
right doors for you.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Amen to that and, like I said, I can always share
my story because, again, I'm notashamed of my story.
And where I thought thateverything was coming down on me
, I didn't give up.
I kept chipping away.
I said, okay, this is whatyou're throwing at me.
There's a reason.
My grandmother said somethingto me before she passed away and
(37:31):
you know, you never reallyunderstand things, what they say
until they actually go and shesaid you better get yourself
together before I leave thisearth, because no one is going
to treat you the way I did.
She never lied.
She's been gone since 1998.
She ain't never lied, neverlied.
(37:54):
And I take that statement withme and I keep it with me.
No one's going to treat you theway I did and I never look for
someone to treat me the way shedid.
But what I'm doing is that Iwant to pass that to everyone
else to say hey, no matter whatfeet or no matter how high that
(38:15):
mountain is, you can climb it.
You can get over it.
Guess what, you chip it away.
That's all.
You know the big thing.
They say how you eat elephant,one bite at a time, that's it.
You just break it down.
Because guess what, when onedoor closes, another opens.
We don't know where it's comingfrom, but it's going to open.
You just can't give up.
(38:36):
It's just like again, you can'tgive up on yourself.
And that's the biggest thing.
I think a lot of people theygive up on yourself and that's
where all the stuff startsbreaking down the health issues,
the mental health.
Again, it all starts up here.
If you give up up here,everything else is going to go.
Everything else is going to goand I refuse to give up and I
(39:02):
refuse to quit.
So that's why I go out here andI do what I do every day,
because I refuse to quit and ifI can help you, I'll help you.
There's so many kids out here Igive high fives to.
No matter where I am, I'll givethem a high five, no matter if
they're Black, white, it don'tmatter.
I give kids high fives Becauseone thing hate is toy.
Right, hate is toy.
And I always give them highfives.
(39:23):
Hey, how you doing this andthat?
Give them high fives, speak tothem and what's funny is like
some parents love it and thenyou see some parents that will
cut their eyes because theydon't want you touching their
kids, right, right and I justfind it so funny because I'm
watching and I'm like, yeah,you're the one that's teaching
this hate.
This hate is toy.
Yeah, you know, I give thesekids.
(39:47):
They need a better direction, abetter path.
We need to teach them betterand if we did, we probably
wouldn't be having the problemsthat we're having out here today
.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
So yeah, that's very true, where you might have two
ideas that seem like they'reopposite, but they might not be
as opposite as we think thatthey are and both things could
possibly be true at the sametime.
(40:18):
And, like you know, the idea oflike teaching, hate, but
there's also pain that goesalong with those that hate.
Where's the compassion on bothsides of whatever idea so we can
come together for balance toreally have a solution to
address what the need is?
(40:38):
So, going into policing, Ithink about how In the Black
community it's like oh, we hatepolice, then also police are
like, oh, hey, we're scared atthe same time.
So like both communities are inpain in some kind of way.
(40:59):
And how do we say yes, boththings are true.
And how can we heal both sidesat the same time?
And I think that's through thatcollective acknowledgement that
both sides are experiencingpain and both sides need love
and support and compassion so wecan move forward as a community
(41:20):
.
So, when you are giving thosehigh fives to the kids you know
that is so powerful to being apart of that solution to the
work.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yeah, because, again, the kids have done nothing.
They've done nothing, they'reinnocent.
And you see, another thing islike I don't like kids seeing
their parents impacted.
I don't like seeing that, youknow, their parents could be
just dead to rights I mean deadwrong to rights but I just don't
like the kids seeing theirparents impacted because the
(41:52):
simple fact, the only thing theysee is that this officer did
this to my parent.
They don't understand thecircumstances, they don't
understand anything.
It's just.
I don't like the kids seeingtheir impact and generally I'll
talk to them separate to saycome in, let me talk to you this
and that.
And I explained to them look,because you're a child, this is
(42:13):
not going to happen, but this iswrong.
You are sharing your child, soyou need to fix this.
And they truly are grateful andunderstand it.
They really are.
And you know, like I said, Ijust don't like the kids seeing
negative impacts against theirparents.
I don't, yeah, and I just when,and and the first thing I look
(42:36):
at, I look at their faces andI'll be like, nah, we, we're
going to change course a littlebit.
We're going to do this because,again, the child sees this and
children are computers.
They remember everything.
They remember everything and,like I said, they don't
understand what thecircumstances are.
They just see that this is thesituation and this was a
(42:59):
negative impact, and that's allthey remember, regardless of the
circumstances.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
That shows the value of community policing as well
and how we can use communitypolicing as a tool for healing
our communities.
So it's powerful work, yeah,and you know that, going back to
the health and wellness notjust of the officer but also of
the people in our community thatwe deserve yeah, absolutely,
(43:29):
absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
or just getting out to know the community how?
Speaker 1 (43:33):
about that.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
You know it's something that we got to weigh
with.
You know, like going to theshopping centers, just walk to
the store, say, hey, hey, howyou doing?
What's your name?
Hey, okay, hey, I'm such such.
Just walk around, make yourselfknown.
That way they know who you are,who you are, that way, if
something happens, they'll belike, well, he always comes in
here.
So you know, it's building thatbridge back together and you
(43:58):
know that's a hard sometimes.
It's a hard thing we have to dobecause again, it's so much,
like you said, on both sidesCommunity's scared and the
officers are scared too.
Like, hey, you know, I don'tknow which way to go.
So, but you know, we officersare scared too, I don't know
which way to go.
We will get better.
Everything takes time.
It'll get better.
(44:18):
It will get better.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
I believe that it is one officer, one community
member, one meeting, oneexperience at a time heals us
all.
That's the power of the humanexperience too.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Right, absolutely being human, because some people
just don't think that officersare human and we are.
We go through emotions, we gothrough struggles, we go through
pain.
We go through everything you gothrough.
It's just ours are magnetized amillion times because of
everything that you see,everything that you go through.
(44:57):
Every call will weigh on youbecause of the simple fact that
you know and we talked aboutthis before coming on air, like
I said, it's another show aboutdomestic violence and you know
that really weighs on someone,especially if you have been
through something yourself andnow you have to put yourself in
(45:18):
this situation to go see it.
So we're all human.
We all deal with emotions too.
It's just if that's a badsituation, sometimes we just got
to remove ourselves and say,hey, I don't think this is a
good call for me.
Can you go in there?
I'll get you another backup,but I don't think I can deal
with this.
And that's one thing that wedon't do is we don't
(45:39):
self-evaluate ourself because,again, if we've seen somebody
beat somebody to a bloody pulpor something like that, the
first thing we think is dude,you shouldn't be walking.
But we can't do that.
We got to treat them with thesame respect that we're treating
the victim.
So, trust me, I get it, I donebeen on calls like that.
(46:01):
And domestic violence is bothsides.
It's not just the men, it's thewomen too.
It's the women too, and youknow it's, it's.
It's just sad that I don'tunderstand why we feel as though
that if this person leaves,then my life is over.
No, you just have to take.
If it's over, it's over.
(46:22):
You go with your life.
This person's going with theirlife.
It is just too sad about theserelationships of someone
unaliving somebody because theywas leaving them, or you know,
oh no, you, my property or thisand that, and it's just truly
sad.
And you know we have to change.
That's a mindset we have tochange.
We have to change that and toget better in society because
(46:46):
again, with me having daughters,that would affect me if I knew
one of my children was gettingabused.
So I get it, I get it, but wehave to change that whole
mindset.
But it starts with everybodybeing on the same page together,
everybody being on the samepage together.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Yeah, we really need to make sure that we're teaching
restorative justice practices,we're teaching reconciliation
within our communities, becauseI think that's not always.
I don't think compassion isalways innate.
Like you were saying, if you'renot teaching compassion, if
(47:25):
you're not teaching these thingsto our children, then they're
not going to have the skills inorder to process how to deal
with any kind of conflict.
It doesn't have to be violentconflict, it's just conflict in
general, conflict in general,absolutely Conflict in general.
So that way we can have morehealthy communities and healthy
(47:46):
individuals.
We can have more healthycommunities and healthy
individuals.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Right, absolutely, absolutely.
And, like I said, it's just acombination of just, it's just.
We have to change that wholeaura, and that's that's easier
said than done.
It is much easier because youtalking about when we was
talking about earliergenerations, upon generations,
upon generations.
(48:12):
If I saw my father or my mombeating on someone else, then it
gets, it's, it steals over toyou and I can give you a point
case like my grandfather, mygrandfather, my grandmother,
everything, oh man, they wouldfeel like the Hatfields and
McCoys, you know, and me growingup, seeing all this as a kid,
(48:34):
I'm like this can't be right.
You know, I'll never forgetthis.
My grandmother she cracked mygrandpa over the head with some
glass bottom and left him in thebed.
And when my mom came home shesaid you better go up there and
check on him and make sure he'sstill alive.
I'm like, oh, my God, you know.
So the simple fact that you'veseen all this as a kid and it's
being this, like I said, you'rea computer, so it's being
(49:02):
programmed on you like, well, isthis the right thing to do or
this and that.
So it goes.
Like I said, it's generationsof cycles that has to be broken
to get better, and it's justlike with us, like we said
earlier, with health.
It's generations of cycles thatwe have to break to get better,
and knowledge is power and wejust have to make sure we get
that knowledge out there.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Yeah, and I think a constant message too is just
acknowledging that there is aneed.
First we have to acknowledgethat there is a need.
We have to acknowledge that wehave a health need, we have to
acknowledge that we have amental health need, we have to
acknowledge that there arepractices within communities
that are not healthy.
(49:45):
And once we acknowledge thosethings, then we can have
solutions to address them,because if you're not aware,
then you cannot come up with thesolution afterwards.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Yep, absolutely, absolutely.
Well, I'm gonna go ahead andwind this one down.
Oh my God, it's been a great,great conversation with you and
you got to get those pushupsdone.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
This is over.
I'm going to go back to mypush-ups.
Every 20 minutes I'm supposedto do some push-ups and add one
more.
So we've been on this foralmost an hour, so I guess I got
to make up for that.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
Yeah, you got to make up for it.
But again, again, like I said,just hey, if you got a little
bit bench press a little bit,put like 10 pounds on there, do
five, do five Push-ups.
You got this Hang off the walla little bit.
You got this.
I believe in you.
Thank you.
Well, it's been a pleasure foryou to come on.
(50:42):
I appreciate you.
I wish you good luck in yourendeavor.
Anybody that's looking, pleasewrite down her website.
She offers a vast majority ofservices for us out here, and
that's that's not us as anyone.
Yeah, she's willing to do it,for it's for anyone that's
listening.
Please write that website down.
(51:03):
Go to it, check out if you needhelp with anything, especially
if it's any federal governmentworkers that may be listening.
Write that website down so wecan help you, also Because the
simple fact that we're in a sadtime right now, but guess what?
There's light at the end of thetunnel.
But I'll give you some finalwords and some final thoughts.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
I think the overall message here is focus on your
own wellness in order to thenhelp and heal the community and
then build legacy within yourfamily.
So wellness is not just anindividual experience.
(51:43):
It's an experience for yourlegacy and your families and our
community.
So you know, thank you forhaving me on here to talk about
this very important topic and Ihope that many people are healed
by your show.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
No, I hope so too, and if anybody that's listening,
I tell you there's alwayslistening.
I have an email DK and treepodcast at yahoocom.
Send me any comments, anythingyou want to talk about how you
feeling overall.
I love to hear overall.
I'd love to hear from you.
I'd love to hear from you Also.
It's DK and Tree Podcast onYouTube.
Everybody knows pretty much howto reach me and you know
(52:18):
football season is about tostart you know, eventually we're
going to talk about theschedules coming out, so we talk
about schedules.
We was talking a little trashabout football before we came on
here.
It's unfortunate I'm a Ravensfan.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
It is unfortunate, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
That's why my mother green TJ.
If you listen, she's an Eaglesfan.
Hey, listen y'all the SuperBowl champs.
Congratulations to y'all, and Idefinitely appreciate it.
And Erica, I see you comment onInstagram, erica.
Erica just commented she'slaughing.
(52:57):
All right, we're going to signoff.
We appreciate each and everylast one of you.
Stay tuned in.
Next show will be up.
It's a domestic violence show.
Any survivors, anybody that'sin a domestic violence, if you
don't even have to talk about it, please tune into the show.
Maybe it'll help you get out ofyour situation.
Maybe it'll give you someinformation to help you get past
(53:21):
that situation.
Or, if you want to come shareyour story, you can come share
your story too.
I appreciate you.
We're both signing off Freeaudio post-production
BioPhoniccom.
Free audio post-production BioPhoniccom.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Good afternoon, good afternoon, uh-oh, let me see,
Good afternoon everyone.
Good afternoon, Uh-oh, let mesee, Good afternoon everyone.
Good afternoon.
I hope everybody's doing a great, great Sunday, even though the
weather is kind of crappy aroundhere, but it's all good.
It's all good.
It's your boy, Damon.
I am here with the DK and Treepodcast.
Remember?
I told you we had a show aboutfitness and health and trying to
keep yourself together, and Ibrought someone special on today
(01:03):
to talk about their journey inthis whole thing.
And even I'm going to talkabout mine too, because, again,
health and fitness and even yourmental being is always
important and you just got totake better care of yourself
these days.
I'm going to let her introduceherself and tell her a little
bit about you, because y'allknow about me.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Hello everyone, my name is Ryan Reed and I am a
educator by trade and also abusiness owner, author and
speaker.
I'm excited to be on thepodcast today to talk about my
health and wellness journey.
I think it's really important,when you wear many hats, to make
(01:45):
sure that you're investing inyourself, so that's why I'm here
today to talk about this topic.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah, and again, it's very important because some
people just don't take theirhealth seriously.
And if you look at when ourparents grew up and everything
all they did was really work,work, work, work, work, you
never really saw them, you know,taking care of their health.
You know they wouldn't say ifthey were sick, they wouldn't
say anything.
If they was going throughsomething, they kept it to
themselves.
And now it's just you have tomake sure that you take care of
(02:16):
yourself so you can live a lotlonger.
You know modern medicine todayhas made it better for us than
what it did back in the day.
So you know, like I said, withmy journey, I'll start off with
my journey.
You know, just especially beingin the careers that I'm in, you
know stressful job, unhealthyeating.
You know back and forth timechanges.
(02:37):
You know you up at this timeyou're going to sleep.
At this time you've eaten late.
It's just not good for yoursystem overall.
So you just have to change thatpattern.
So I went to the doctors and Idon't mind sharing this and my
A1C was up and I explained thatlike, hey, this is not good.
I got to get this A1C downbecause being diabetic is really
(03:01):
not good these days and a lotof people just they're scared to
go to the doctors, they'rescared to want to know what's
going on with them.
One thing about me is that ifsomething's going on with the
body, I'm going to go figure itout, because you have to
understand that, hey,something's going on.
I need to figure it out becauseI've not felt like this before.
(03:21):
So in this journey, I startedworking out, I started changing
my eating and started eating alot more vegetables.
You know, jump rope is one ofmy biggest things I love to do,
but I'm also a big roller skater.
So anybody out there knows thatI'm a big, big roller skater.
So I try to keep the cardio up,I try to keep myself as active
as possible because, again, youknow, in everyday life we just
(03:43):
go through life and we don't bethinking about ourselves
sometimes.
And stress of the job, you know, stress of everything else,
stress coming home, it all wearsthe body down and we just have
to find an outlet to fix that.
And that's one of the thingsthat I did was started working
out, started skating more,started changing the diet, more
jump rope.
(04:04):
You know I'm not a runner,definitely not a runner, but I
will take a nice walk.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So yeah, that's just a little about me yeah, so, um,
I I'm about 38 years old rightnow and I thought about you know
my youth and how I used to playsoftball.
I was on a travel team,all-star team, so I was very
active in sports when I wasyounger and I just remember the
(04:33):
joy and excitement I had playingsports when I was younger.
So, you know, reflecting onagain my job as well as an
educator, being a business owner, being involved in the
community, managing all thosedifferent tasks it makes you not
focus on self, like you weresaying before.
So now I'm more focused on that.
(04:56):
So I go to the gym everymorning at 5 am for about an
hour, about an hour.
I also started cooking more now,so if you go on my Instagram
page, boss Betty, you can seeall the foods that I'm cooking.
(05:17):
Last night, I cooked somemarinated chicken.
I marinated the chicken for 24hours before cooking it and I
had some 24 hours before cookingit and I had some corn.
So I'm making sure that I'meating well and not going out to
eat too, because I think it'simportant to cook for yourself
instead of going out and eating,and that's not just for your
(05:40):
physical health, but also foryour pocket as well, if we are
going to the grocery store andcooking our own food, then we
are also making sure that ourfinancial health is well, just
as we are invested in ourphysical self, which can also
help with stress If you're notoverwhelmed by your lack of
(06:01):
income and lack of money andjust before we came on air, we
were just talking about that.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I just went to the store and I'm looking at the
shelves and they like bare boneempty.
I'm like, oh, my goodness, isthe apocalypse coming?
Let me, let me slow down.
You know the bread was mostlygone.
You know, just, shelves arejust empty and I'm like you know
it's really sad.
Gone, shelves are just empty.
I'm like it's really sad thetime that we're going through
because of the simple fact thatremember back when we were
(06:29):
younger and growing up, you hadto never worry about anything
like that.
Now, in today's society, you'relike, oh my God, am I going to
have a meal?
Can I afford a meal?
We can even talk about gas andelectric.
Can I afford that?
Can I afford the place to live?
What gas and electric?
Can I afford that?
Can I afford the place to live?
You know I'm choosing betweenfood or medicine and that's.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
That's really really sad.
That is that is really sad.
And I also think about to, youknow, intermittent fasting as an
option to make sure that you'reinvesting in your health, and
then, if you don't have themoney, um, you don't have to eat
as much as anymore if you'reusing intermittent fasting.
So it's kind of like a win-winsituation and you just don't
(07:14):
have the income so um reallyreally good make it work hey,
listen, and you gotta do whatyou gotta do.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You do, you have to do what you have to do.
You look at an refrigerator andbe like this is a sad situation
looking ahead, tumbleweed,going across or whatever, but
you just have to find ways.
Again, if you cook for yourselflike what you're doing, right,
you make, you make thesepreparations for yourself to say
, hey, okay, I got this, this,this, this, it's planned out for
the next two weeks, this willhold me over till I get paid,
(07:49):
and bam, and then I just go planit out for the next two weeks
and just plan everything out andyou should be good to go.
But, like I said, I'll shareanother thing with me.
As far as health, this is backaround maybe 2012, 2011.
And again, you got to payattention to your body, because
your body tells you things.
And one day went out to eatright, we all went out to eat,
(08:13):
sat down, and after that I got aheadache.
I was like I don't feel good, Igot a headache.
So I got rid of that headache.
Well, I was trying to get ridof it.
So I talked to the super and Isaid, hey, no, I don't feel good
, can I go home.
He was like, yeah, go ahead.
He said you all right.
No, I said I really don't feelgood.
That was day one.
Day two, right, I still havethis headache.
(08:39):
Now I'm taking everythingTylenol I'm taking.
It's not working.
All right, no, no big deal Now.
So I go back to work the nextday and I'm still going through
this headache and I'm likesomething ain't right.
So I go to the hospital, right,and I kept telling them what
was wrong.
What was wrong and give me aCAT scan.
They said we don't see anything.
(09:00):
That's wrong.
I said, well, something's wrong, cause I don't suffer from
headaches.
I said, so, something's wrong,can you please check again, or
whatever.
So they sent me home, theydischarged me, so I'm home.
We're on day three.
I got this headache, headacheand it's getting worse and I'm
like I don't know what's wrong.
So I went to CVS and I got someBC powder.
(09:20):
I said BC.
I said, all right, let's getthis done.
That didn't work.
I said BC.
I said all right, let's getthis done.
That didn't work.
I said, okay, something's wrong.
When BC power don't work,something's wrong.
I went to another hospital.
By this time my eyes weresensitive to light, my fingers
was tingling, my ears weregetting sensitive to sound and I
couldn't bend my neck and Isaid ugh.
(09:40):
So I said okay.
I said I kept telling hersomething is wrong.
They said, mr Davis, we got tospend your spinal tap.
Okay, fine, give me a spinaltap.
Just before they were finished,they hit a place.
I was like I feel that theysaid don't move, don't move.
So they come back in the hourlater and said Mr Davis, you
have meningitis, we admit you.
(10:09):
You have to pay attention toyour body and if I wouldn't, I
wouldn't be here today and Idon't mind sharing that.
It's because the simple factthat a lot of us out here we
will ignore signs from our bodyand that's why I said it made me
change my aspect of working outfitness.
What's the difference betweensomething's wrong and pain?
So, and then, being in themilitary 21 years, I noted I
(10:30):
knew the difference, but my bodyjust wasn't accustomed to them
anymore.
But if you don't pay attentionto it, we're gonna end up broke
down, we're gonna end up hunchedover, we're gonna end up losing
a limb or something like thatbecause we didn't listen to our
bodies.
So I'm really big on, just likeI said, listening to yourself,
because your body will tell yousomething's wrong and if we
(10:53):
ignore it.
It's a machine, it will breakdown and some people don't
recover from the breakdowns.
So I'm just like you reallyneed to just focus on health
yourself, listen to yourself, goto the doctors hey, you paying
these guys a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
You brought up a really important point about
advocacy in your health as well,because a lot of times you know
, people don't go to the doctorsbecause of historical fears or
they're not listened to whenthey go to the doctors.
So you know you didn't stopwhen they were saying like
(11:33):
you're fine and you're like, no,I'm really not.
So you kept going and findingthe right place for you, and
that's something that peopledon't often do.
So that's really important thatyou, you know, share that about
your story, I can say like I'vehad similar situations as well.
I experienced a depressionbefore when I was going through
(11:57):
breaking up in my marriage.
Thank God that is over.
So I had to realize that themarriage was making me depressed
, the stress in the marriage wascausing me more negative than
(12:18):
good, and I had to realize thatit was that thing to get out of
it.
And then it also pushed me tofocus more on my health as well,
going through that experience,more on my health as well, going
through that experience.
But even with that, talkingwith the doctors, they initially
don't.
It doesn't always feel likethey're taking your voice
(12:39):
seriously, so you have tocontinue to find another person
to go to or just keep on talking.
So this is just an overallmessage to say do not give up on
your investment into yourhealth and you do know your own
body and continue to advocatefor that, especially as black
(13:02):
and brown people and advocatingfor what our health needs are.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, because, again, like it's just like you said,
if I would have just been likeit'll go away, I wouldn't be
here, and I knew that can killyou.
So you know, they sent me to aroom for isolation for three
days and you know, it was theworst thing ever because when
the medicine, the virus wasclashing, it felt like it was a
(13:30):
war going on in my head.
I was like, oh my God, I reallydidn't sleep and you know you
don't sleep in the hospitals, noway.
So and then you know thedoctor's coming to talk to you
and I'm sitting here like, oh myGod, is this my last leg?
Because this guy looks like DrKabuki?
So I'm just like, oh yeah, no,all right, when can I get out of
(13:50):
here?
So at the third day they testme again.
Ok, you get to go home.
Thank you, jesus.
And from that point on I said Iwill always, always make sure
that I took care of my health.
Or if I could help someone, dothem, help them work out.
You know it's sad.
Like I said, we walk down thestreet or we drive and we see
(14:11):
somebody hunched over or they'rewalking on canes or anything
like this.
Could that have prevented.
Maybe, maybe not, I don't know,I'm not the one to say.
But if we take our life and ourhealth very, very seriously, we
can prevent anything that comesout Now.
Time catches all of us, that'sperfectly fine.
But before that time does, atleast we can do something about
(14:34):
slowing it down.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
So, yeah, what I'm focusing on right now is like
how can I have whole lifeintegration between my career
and my health and wellness?
So one of the reasons andsolutions that I think is, you
know, going into policing.
So I'm preparing for my policeexam and I'm making sure that
(15:01):
I'm doing my pushups every dayto get to 15, or actually I want
to get more than 15.
I don't like doing minimum.
Minimum to me sounds basic, soI have to go above and beyond
whatever expectation it is.
So that gives me another pushin my health and wellness by
(15:22):
looking into the police field.
You know I love education.
That is definitely a part of myheart.
But moving forward, I want tohave whole life integration yeah
, and and that's fine.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Hey, come on over, we need the people.
But um, like you said, we'reintegrated.
But, like I said, even when youcome into that type of career
field, it doesn't stop.
You just got to keep going, yougot to find a way, because
again, the schedules change.
You know I'm saying you go fromdays to evenings to midnights
and you know the schedulechanges.
(15:57):
And that's where the unhealthyeating comes in, because I'm not
supposed to be eating at threeo'clock in the morning, put them
up all night and then next dayyou know I'm getting home and
I'm going right to sleep.
So it's just a balance that wehave to find out with trying to
work this all in.
If I'm on evening shift, I workout during the day.
(16:17):
If I'm on day work, I work outduring the evenings.
So you just make sure thatyou're balancing everything out.
And then, if I'm traveling,what I do is I take some workout
clothes with me because I'mgoing to do something.
I take my jump rope with me aslong as I'm doing something, to
make sure I'm keeping myselfactive, or just go for a walk.
If they got a nice little lakesomeplace, go for a walk around
(16:38):
the lake.
Just do something and keepyourself active Because, again,
when you come into a career likethat, it's a lot of stress,
because now we're dealing witheverybody else's problems and
then some people it just mayweigh on them for what you may
see, what you may go through orwhat you know what the next call
(16:58):
could be.
So, yeah, you just got to.
Always your mind has to bestrong and the body has to be
stronger.
So you're just getting through.
You know, like I said, it'sjust one after the other, after
the other, after the other, anda lot of people say, oh, you're
desens.
I said it's just one after theother, after the other, after
the other, and a lot of peoplesay, oh, you're desensitized.
(17:19):
It's never like, no, I'm notdesensitized, it's just the
simple fact that, hey, I have.
Every situation is differentand you got to deal with it
differently.
Every situation that you gothrough is different.
So you have to keep yourselfstrong and then, once, once it's
finally, the day is finallyover.
You just got to have thatmental reset.
But okay, let me go to my happyplace.
If it's working out, it's fine.
If it's roller skating, it'sfine.
(17:45):
If it's whatever your outlet is, it's fine, but have an outlet,
because if you don't have anoutlet, that becomes the biggest
problem, because then they goto the bottle and that's a
problem in itself, right?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, you brought up a good point of like a part of
your physical and mental healthis having an outlet and not
using negative vices to addressthose needs.
So when you are eating healthy,when you are going to the park
and walking around, you areactually like filling your life
with positivity instead ofpicking something that is
(18:15):
actually going to kill youfaster.
I know a lot of people in myfamily, you know, suffer from
alcoholism, or especially myfamily members who've been in
the military.
That is something that I'veseen them experience.
So I also know that that's notsomething that I want for my
(18:35):
life because I've seen whathappens to other people.
So that's not something that Ido often at all because I know
it's harmful.
So, you know, some tips are what, if you are experiencing those
things like, get a sheet ofpaper out and write down like
what brings you joy, what arethe things that you do that
(18:56):
brings you joy, and when you'regoing through these stressful
situations, pick out that listand just pick something Like
even think about like whathappened when you were a child
and it caused you to laugh, oreven go into a comedy show or
things like that to fill yourlife with positivity and joy
(19:17):
instead of the negative.
I know today I also went tochurch and I was supporting a
five-year-old girl in herrecital and I brought her
flowers.
So she got to see the flowersafter the end of her recital and
you know, that also brings mejoy to invest in the youth and
(19:38):
making sure that they feelfilled and loved in whatever
spaces they show up.
So those are other things thatyou can do as well to make sure
that you're investing in yourown health and wellness while
also investing in the communityat the same time.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Amen, because those young ones are our future and
right now they're very misguidedand if we can turn the table
with them, they'll be fine, it'sjust okay.
I'll use roller skating, forexample.
That's a big outlet.
So my daughters, you know, hey,they have to roller skate.
And tell them this is somethingI do, y'all gonna do it.
(20:15):
So putting them on them skatesbecause it gets them off the
street.
Number one, number two, it's anoutlet, it's something they can
learn, enjoy, and then whenthey see that you enjoy it,
they'll start enjoying it too.
And then it just gets passeddown and passed down, and passed
down and passed down.
So see my grandchild on someroller skates.
(20:37):
It's just an amazing thingbecause the simple fact that you
know they're fearless whenthey're kids because they don't
have a fear of falling.
You start getting older, oh man, if I fall it's over, you know.
So you know it's just watchingthe elevation.
Then they want to learn thetricks, just like you do.
They want to learn the steps,they want to learn to move, they
want to learn how to gobackwards.
Well, just turn around.
(20:59):
I got you.
Turn around, turn around.
So that's why I'm a big advocateof roller skating.
I've been doing it for almost30 years and I travel to skate.
I go all over the place toroller skate and when we finish
up here, I'm going skatingtonight too skate.
And when we finish up here, I'mgoing skating tonight too.
So that's just a big thing.
That I love to do is skating.
(21:19):
But again, it's a part of thatfitness for yourself.
You're going to work up a sweat, you're going to keep rolling,
you feel the music and the musicis just you.
You and the music are one.
When you're going around thatring and there was a guy last
week he was actually recording awhole bunch of us going around
and I'm trying to wait to getthe videos because I want to
post them.
So me and one of my buddies, wewere just doing what we do and
(21:43):
he was like, is that a camera?
I said yeah, he's recording us.
It was just fun.
But that's just one of theloves that I have.
It keeps the stress down Because, guess what, I'm hyped up to
know that I'm getting ready togo hit this rink, I'm getting
ready to go roller skating, andyou know, it's just fun.
Then come home, take thatshower, get that rest, get up.
(22:05):
Guess what?
The hustle, don't stop.
First thing go hit thoseweights.
You know what I'm saying?
Thing Go hit those weights.
You know what I'm saying.
Go do that jump rope.
Even if I ain't got time to doall of it, at least do the jump
rope.
It's something, because thatstress that you about to endure
your body, the more strong yourbody is, the more stress your
body can take.
If your body's broke down, it'snot going to be able to take
that stress.
(22:25):
I've been doing it for 19 years, I know.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, what's so powerful, too, about what you
shared is generational wealth offitness and that passing down
the legacy of health andwellness in your family, which
is something that we alsostruggle with in the black and
brown community that we haven'thad access sometimes to joy and
(22:52):
we haven't had access to healthyoptions.
So the fact that you're passingdown wealth through fitness in
your family is really powerful.
So that's an example for us all.
Like, I started off talkingabout me playing sports when I
was little and playing baseball,and that is something that is a
(23:13):
legacy in my family.
I actually have a family memberwho was in the first Negro
baseball league.
So you know we have that legacyof sports in our family and I'm
excited that.
You know I had an opportunityto even play and I hope that one
day, if I have any children,they would love to play baseball
(23:34):
as well, and I don't know ifI'm going to be as hard as my
dad was on me, because he kindof raised me like I was a guy
and not a girl when I wasplaying.
It's a funny story.
I remember it was my 16thbirthday was coming up and he
told me if you don't hit thishome run.
(23:55):
Your birthday party is justcanceled, like don't even worry
about it oh, wow of course, Ihit the home run, though,
because you know, as I said, Ilike to exceed expectations, so
I didn't even have, I don'tthink I even had to run around
the ball was gone.
So just keep on putting thatlove of sports into your family
(24:18):
so you have something to hold onto and we can get away from
this stress and anxiety and justfocus on joy in the work that
we do.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
That's it.
That's it.
It's all about happiness.
It's all about, hey, what can Ido to keep being happy?
Keep being happy, becausethere's negative things that be
in our life and I'm not harpingon your situation, but your
husband your husband was anegative situation in your life.
Right, it could berelationships, it could be the
job, it could be anything.
(24:49):
And especially when you havewhat's going on with the federal
government right now and peoplestressed out you know, I'm
saying that I had a jobyesterday, now I have a job
today, so that's, that's a wholebunch of stress.
So you have to find some way toturn that around.
Hey, what's my outlet?
I understand that I'm goingthrough this over this, but I
can't let that consume me.
I have to get myself out ofthat and figure this out.
(25:12):
But I can't let that consume me.
I have to get myself out ofthat and figure this out.
But, hey, I need some type ofpositivity in my life to offset
all this negativity that I gotgoing on, and that's the biggest
goal that you have to have.
And if you're not strong enoughto do it, that's the problem.
Look at the simple fact thatyou were already defeated here,
so it's breaking down everythingelse.
(25:34):
If you keep this strong andthis strong, you ain't got to
worry about it.
You just keep pushing throughit.
You keep pushing through it.
You keep getting strong.
It's like okay, I understandthis door is closed, but I'm
about to kick it down, I'm goingto make it through here, I'll
be fine, but I just have to turnthis around.
As long as you don't give up,you'll turn it around, no matter
how long it takes.
(25:56):
I did a podcast on this.
I said no storm lasts forever.
No storm lasts forever.
At the end of the storm, whereis that Sunshine?
It's always a light at the endof the tunnel.
We may not see it when we're init at the time, but guess what,
once we get out of there andyou look back, you're like I
never thought I could make itout of that.
(26:17):
And you make it out of it.
You just can't give up.
You can't quit, and giving upon your body is quitting on
yourself.
And that's why, like I said,I'm an advocate for working out,
I'm an advocate for stayingstrong, I'm an advocate for just
passing knowledge, more thananything.
You know, when somebody told methey can't, I said why can't
(26:38):
you ask Well, why can't you?
Well, why can't you do this?
Oh, because of this, this andthis.
Ok, well, that door may beclosed, there's always another
door that opens.
You can't give up.
You can't give up on yourself.
The biggest problem is,sometimes we just give up on
ourselves.
We can't give up on ourselves,even when we down, we could be
defeated.
You know, it seems likenothing's going right, but guess
(27:00):
what?
There's a light at the end ofthe tunnel.
So you always, always bet onyourself.
And that's what I do.
I bet on myself every day, andit's just like with you.
You bet on yourself every day,especially playing softball.
I just find it funny that yourdad motivated you for that home
run.
It was the motivation.
He said it to motivate you.
(27:22):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
So you know what I learned is sometimes negative is
a motivation for me and forother people.
So you know, whatever is thrownat you just like a ball coming
at you when I used to play howfast or slow the ball is coming
I'm going to hit that ball,regardless of if it's a negative
or a positive coming at me.
(27:45):
I'm going to make sure thatball goes in the direction for
my good.
That's a part of the reason whyI even started my business,
because if I'm winning, I wantother people to win too.
So I want people to besuccessful in their careers and
have access to resume writingcover letters.
(28:06):
So I make sure that I do thatfor people.
I can build websites as well,so I make sure that if you have
a dream and a goal and you wantto achieve it, then I'm going to
give you the resources, theencouragement, the love to get
you where you want to go, andthat's really why I started my
(28:27):
business, in addition to theother work that I do.
So it seems like we're verysimilar in um.
You know we can show upanywhere we want to show up.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
That's it.
And we're going to and yourwebsite is right there, um next
to your name, right?
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yes, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yeah, so if anybody's watching, you know, please
write the website down.
I actually went and looked atthe website and I was like, oh
my God, she does all theseservices and it's just so funny
when you find out what someonedo, what they do to help you, to
help you grow, to invest in you, because that's the biggest
thing you need to invest in you.
If you don't invest in you,how's somebody else going to try
(29:06):
to invest in you?
You got to invest in you firstand then you go out.
But there's plenty of resources.
Please, please, check out herwebsite.
It is very, very amazing, veryhelpful.
And she said she hasn't doneher podcast because she got a
podcast on there also.
She hasn't done that, so shehasn't done it in a while, but
she's going to get back to itbecause she's been focused on
(29:28):
other things.
So, and I would love to be aguest on your show also because
the simple fact that, again, yougiving people the ability to
try to help them to besuccessful and that's the one
thing we don't have out here issupport we get a lot of people
that's just so worried abouttheir selves.
It's all about me, self, self,self, and we don't have a lot of
(29:49):
people that's just so worriedabout their selves it's all
about me, self, self, self andwe don't have a lot of people
trying to help each other or tryto help push each other.
I'm the type of guy hey, if Imade it, I want you to make it
too.
You don't have to stay down.
You don't have to do this.
You don't have to just feel asthough you have to settle.
Someone can help elevate you,and if you take the time and all
, of it takes time.
(30:10):
It takes time.
I didn't get to the point whereI am in my life overnight.
It took years and decades.
It took years and decades andI'm still growing, I'm still
evolving and I want to give asmuch knowledge or as much power
to someone as possible to helpthem succeed, to help them be
(30:30):
better than what they wasyesterday.
And that's what we don't havethe encouragement of someone to
try to help someone else dobetter.
Because everybody feels though,oh, I have all this knowledge,
I'm going to keep it to myselfand no one else is going to
benefit from it.
And that's not right.
I will help anybody, the nextperson, the next man, the next
(30:53):
woman, I don't care who you are.
I'll give you the shirt off myback if I think it'll help
benefit you better, because thesimple fact that someone gave me
a chance when I was at thelowest point in my life, I want
to return that favor.
I want to give someone else achance, if they're at lowest, to
get them to the highest pointin their life.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Yeah, when I earned my MBA, one of the parts of the
story of being a business ownerwas it's important to have the
generosity gene as part of yourculture, of your business.
So continue to give freely,because even if you feel like
you invested in someone and theymight've mistreated you or took
(31:37):
advantage of your giving, it'llcome back to you.
I believe that it all comesback to you.
Nothing you put out that's goodis going to come back to you
bad.
So I make sure that that is avalue that I live with and it
also helps with my mental healthas well, because I don't judge
(31:57):
people based on their negativityright, because they could be
hurting and you don't know whatfears that they might have.
So just give compassion andlove to that individual that did
not treat you well when youwere giving, and good is going
to just always be in your heart.
(32:18):
So that means that you are lessstressed and you're not
overwhelmed.
You're not going to be worryingabout what somebody thinks
about you as another thing thatsometimes keeps people down.
So just be authenticallyyourself in love and the
generosity gene to keep ongiving to people.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And, like I said, it's just youif you are that person that
struggled or something.
And now you to the point.
I don't forget, I don't forget,I don't forget the people that
helped me get to where I amtoday, from homeless to where I
am now and I'm not scared toshow it, I was homeless at one
(33:00):
time in my lifetime To where Iam now.
It's a true testament and atrue story and I said I would
share my story one day.
I would just probably write abook about it.
But of everything knoweverything that what I went
through in my lifetime and Iknow I overcome a lot of odds, a
lot of odds growing up inBaltimore City, you know back in
(33:22):
the 80s and the 90s you knowthey weren't giving someone
living over 15 up there at thattime.
You know all of the drug tradewas very heavy up there.
You probably get hooked ondrugs.
You probably be selling drugs.
You probably be locked upbecause you were doing things
that the streets are nowproviding you because they close
all our resources Rec centers,right.
(33:44):
They took that away from us.
When I grew up, mcgruff thecrime dog was there.
Where's McGruff Gone?
Got to file a missing personreport, right.
So all that stuff again fromwhere I came from to where I am
now is a true testimony to say,hey, I survived every R they
threw in front of me.
(34:04):
And guess what?
I'm going to keep pushingthrough it, because when someone
said no, I told him I'm gonnaprove you wrong.
I'm gonna prove you wrong.
You say I can't do something.
Watch me.
And now I have.
And some of those same peoplethat still living now still
can't believe it like that.
I beat all these odds.
(34:26):
That's because I didn't give upon myself.
And was it easy?
No, wasn't easy at all, wasn'teasy.
But guess what?
I'm here today and then just tomeet you and to find out the
services that you provide thatwill help someone like me right,
that could be in the samesituation to make myself grow,
(34:46):
prosper, be better.
So again it's you know, I tellyou, god puts people in your
lives for a reason, and you know, teaching your class that day,
it was a reason why we all met.
So the simple fact that I wasecstatic that when we talk,
let's say hey, let's talk aboutsomething like this.
I said let's talk about yourbusiness also because the simple
(35:08):
fact that anyone that may belistening.
I want them to have thisinformation and they can reach
out to you and that way that canhelp them.
You know, one of the things isthat people that listen to the
show and I look at where theylisten to the show from and one
really amazed me was they'relistening in Ukraine.
I said this place is goingthrough a war and they're
(35:28):
listening to me.
So I'm giving them some type ofcomfort, I'm giving them some
type of joy or something likethat, and I appreciate each and
every listener that comes onhere and listen to anything that
I'm trying to get out, becauseall the negative stuff that's in
this world, we need somepositivity out there and this is
why I'm here.
I never say this is my show.
(35:49):
I said this is our show.
I tell them reach out to me.
Hey, I want to hear from you.
I want to hear how you're doing, because of the simple fact
that, again, I understand peoplego through struggles.
I understand people go throughproblems.
I understand people go througheverything in their lifetime.
But guess what?
The one thing we can do is wecan help you get to someplace
(36:10):
better than what you wasyesterday.
That's my two cents.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
That's powerful, that's really powerful and I
think it's like you said it's acollective story.
You know, sometimes when you'regoing through something, you
don't realize that other peoplemight be experiencing that same
thing, or you know there areresources out there to help you
(36:35):
navigate through an experience.
So you know, like you weresaying, even with advocating at
the doctor's office, continue tobe an advocate for your own
health and wellness by gettingaccess and keep on asking for
hey, do you know someone who canhelp with this or whatever the
need is?
And not giving up in thatprocess, because it might feel
(36:59):
like a lot of doors are closingon you when you are asking for
help, but there are doors thatopen and they're going to be the
right doors for you.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Amen to that and, like I said, I can always share
my story because, again, I'm notashamed of my story.
And where I thought thateverything was coming down on me
, I didn't give up.
I kept chipping away.
I said, okay, this is whatyou're throwing at me.
There's a reason.
My grandmother said somethingto me before she passed away and
(37:31):
you know, you never reallyunderstand things, what they say
until they actually go and shesaid you better get yourself
together before I leave thisearth, because no one is going
to treat you the way I did.
She never lied.
She's been gone since 1998.
She ain't never lied, neverlied.
(37:54):
And I take that statement withme and I keep it with me.
No one's going to treat you theway I did and I never look for
someone to treat me the way shedid.
But what I'm doing is that Iwant to pass that to everyone
else to say hey, no matter whatfeet or no matter how high that
(38:15):
mountain is, you can climb it.
You can get over it.
Guess what, you chip it away.
That's all.
You know the big thing.
They say how you eat elephant,one bite at a time, that's it.
You just break it down.
Because guess what, when onedoor closes, another opens.
We don't know where it's comingfrom, but it's going to open.
You just can't give up.
(38:36):
It's just like again, you can'tgive up on yourself.
And that's the biggest thing.
I think a lot of people theygive up on yourself and that's
where all the stuff startsbreaking down the health issues,
the mental health.
Again, it all starts up here.
If you give up up here,everything else is going to go.
Everything else is going to goand I refuse to give up and I
(39:02):
refuse to quit.
So that's why I go out here andI do what I do every day,
because I refuse to quit and ifI can help you, I'll help you.
There's so many kids out here Igive high fives to.
No matter where I am, I'll givethem a high five, no matter if
they're Black, white, it don'tmatter.
I give kids high fives Becauseone thing hate is toy.
Right, hate is toy.
And I always give them highfives.
(39:23):
Hey, how you doing this andthat?
Give them high fives, speak tothem and what's funny is like
some parents love it and thenyou see some parents that will
cut their eyes because theydon't want you touching their
kids, right, right and I justfind it so funny because I'm
watching and I'm like, yeah,you're the one that's teaching
this hate.
This hate is toy.
Yeah, you know, I give thesekids.
(39:47):
They need a better direction, abetter path.
We need to teach them betterand if we did, we probably
wouldn't be having the problemsthat we're having out here today
.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
So yeah, that's very true, where you might have two
ideas that seem like they'reopposite, but they might not be
as opposite as we think thatthey are and both things could
possibly be true at the sametime.
(40:18):
And, like you know, the idea oflike teaching, hate, but
there's also pain that goesalong with those that hate.
Where's the compassion on bothsides of whatever idea so we can
come together for balance toreally have a solution to
address what the need is?
(40:38):
So, going into policing, Ithink about how In the Black
community it's like oh, we hatepolice, then also police are
like, oh, hey, we're scared atthe same time.
So like both communities are inpain in some kind of way.
(40:59):
And how do we say yes, boththings are true.
And how can we heal both sidesat the same time?
And I think that's through thatcollective acknowledgement that
both sides are experiencingpain and both sides need love
and support and compassion so wecan move forward as a community
(41:20):
.
So, when you are giving thosehigh fives to the kids you know
that is so powerful to being apart of that solution to the
work.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yeah, because, again, the kids have done nothing.
They've done nothing, they'reinnocent.
And you see, another thing islike I don't like kids seeing
their parents impacted.
I don't like seeing that, youknow, their parents could be
just dead to rights I mean deadwrong to rights but I just don't
like the kids seeing theirparents impacted because the
(41:52):
simple fact, the only thing theysee is that this officer did
this to my parent.
They don't understand thecircumstances, they don't
understand anything.
It's just.
I don't like the kids seeingtheir impact and generally I'll
talk to them separate to saycome in, let me talk to you this
and that.
And I explained to them look,because you're a child, this is
(42:13):
not going to happen, but this iswrong.
You are sharing your child, soyou need to fix this.
And they truly are grateful andunderstand it.
They really are.
And you know, like I said, Ijust don't like the kids seeing
negative impacts against theirparents.
I don't, yeah, and I just when,and and the first thing I look
(42:36):
at, I look at their faces andI'll be like, nah, we, we're
going to change course a littlebit.
We're going to do this because,again, the child sees this and
children are computers.
They remember everything.
They remember everything and,like I said, they don't
understand what thecircumstances are.
They just see that this is thesituation and this was a
(42:59):
negative impact, and that's allthey remember, regardless of the
circumstances.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
That shows the value of community policing as well
and how we can use communitypolicing as a tool for healing
our communities.
So it's powerful work, yeah,and you know that, going back to
the health and wellness notjust of the officer but also of
the people in our community thatwe deserve yeah, absolutely,
(43:29):
absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
or just getting out to know the community how?
Speaker 1 (43:33):
about that.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
You know it's something that we got to weigh
with.
You know, like going to theshopping centers, just walk to
the store, say, hey, hey, howyou doing?
What's your name?
Hey, okay, hey, I'm such such.
Just walk around, make yourselfknown.
That way they know who you are,who you are, that way, if
something happens, they'll belike, well, he always comes in
here.
So you know, it's building thatbridge back together and you
(43:58):
know that's a hard sometimes.
It's a hard thing we have to dobecause again, it's so much,
like you said, on both sidesCommunity's scared and the
officers are scared too.
Like, hey, you know, I don'tknow which way to go.
So, but you know, we officersare scared too, I don't know
which way to go.
We will get better.
Everything takes time.
It'll get better.
(44:18):
It will get better.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
I believe that it is one officer, one community
member, one meeting, oneexperience at a time heals us
all.
That's the power of the humanexperience too.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Right, absolutely being human, because some people
just don't think that officersare human and we are.
We go through emotions, we gothrough struggles, we go through
pain.
We go through everything you gothrough.
It's just ours are magnetized amillion times because of
everything that you see,everything that you go through.
(44:57):
Every call will weigh on youbecause of the simple fact that
you know and we talked aboutthis before coming on air, like
I said, it's another show aboutdomestic violence and you know
that really weighs on someone,especially if you have been
through something yourself andnow you have to put yourself in
(45:18):
this situation to go see it.
So we're all human.
We all deal with emotions too.
It's just if that's a badsituation, sometimes we just got
to remove ourselves and say,hey, I don't think this is a
good call for me.
Can you go in there?
I'll get you another backup,but I don't think I can deal
with this.
And that's one thing that wedon't do is we don't
(45:39):
self-evaluate ourself because,again, if we've seen somebody
beat somebody to a bloody pulpor something like that, the
first thing we think is dude,you shouldn't be walking.
But we can't do that.
We got to treat them with thesame respect that we're treating
the victim.
So, trust me, I get it, I donebeen on calls like that.
(46:01):
And domestic violence is bothsides.
It's not just the men, it's thewomen too.
It's the women too, and youknow it's, it's.
It's just sad that I don'tunderstand why we feel as though
that if this person leaves,then my life is over.
No, you just have to take.
If it's over, it's over.
(46:22):
You go with your life.
This person's going with theirlife.
It is just too sad about theserelationships of someone
unaliving somebody because theywas leaving them, or you know,
oh no, you, my property or thisand that, and it's just truly
sad.
And you know we have to change.
That's a mindset we have tochange.
We have to change that and toget better in society because
(46:46):
again, with me having daughters,that would affect me if I knew
one of my children was gettingabused.
So I get it, I get it, but wehave to change that whole
mindset.
But it starts with everybodybeing on the same page together,
everybody being on the samepage together.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Yeah, we really need to make sure that we're teaching
restorative justice practices,we're teaching reconciliation
within our communities, becauseI think that's not always.
I don't think compassion isalways innate.
Like you were saying, if you'renot teaching compassion, if
(47:25):
you're not teaching these thingsto our children, then they're
not going to have the skills inorder to process how to deal
with any kind of conflict.
It doesn't have to be violentconflict, it's just conflict in
general, conflict in general,absolutely Conflict in general.
So that way we can have morehealthy communities and healthy
(47:46):
individuals.
We can have more healthycommunities and healthy
individuals.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Right, absolutely, absolutely.
And, like I said, it's just acombination of just, it's just.
We have to change that wholeaura, and that's that's easier
said than done.
It is much easier because youtalking about when we was
talking about earliergenerations, upon generations,
upon generations.
(48:12):
If I saw my father or my mombeating on someone else, then it
gets, it's, it steals over toyou and I can give you a point
case like my grandfather, mygrandfather, my grandmother,
everything, oh man, they wouldfeel like the Hatfields and
McCoys, you know, and me growingup, seeing all this as a kid,
(48:34):
I'm like this can't be right.
You know, I'll never forgetthis.
My grandmother she cracked mygrandpa over the head with some
glass bottom and left him in thebed.
And when my mom came home shesaid you better go up there and
check on him and make sure he'sstill alive.
I'm like, oh, my God, you know.
So the simple fact that you'veseen all this as a kid and it's
being this, like I said, you'rea computer, so it's being
(49:02):
programmed on you like, well, isthis the right thing to do or
this and that.
So it goes.
Like I said, it's generationsof cycles that has to be broken
to get better, and it's justlike with us, like we said
earlier, with health.
It's generations of cycles thatwe have to break to get better,
and knowledge is power and wejust have to make sure we get
that knowledge out there.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Yeah, and I think a constant message too is just
acknowledging that there is aneed.
First we have to acknowledgethat there is a need.
We have to acknowledge that wehave a health need, we have to
acknowledge that we have amental health need, we have to
acknowledge that there arepractices within communities
that are not healthy.
(49:45):
And once we acknowledge thosethings, then we can have
solutions to address them,because if you're not aware,
then you cannot come up with thesolution afterwards.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Yep, absolutely, absolutely.
Well, I'm gonna go ahead andwind this one down.
Oh my God, it's been a great,great conversation with you and
you got to get those pushupsdone.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
This is over.
I'm going to go back to mypush-ups.
Every 20 minutes I'm supposedto do some push-ups and add one
more.
So we've been on this foralmost an hour, so I guess I got
to make up for that.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
Yeah, you got to make up for it.
But again, again, like I said,just hey, if you got a little
bit bench press a little bit,put like 10 pounds on there, do
five, do five Push-ups.
You got this Hang off the walla little bit.
You got this.
I believe in you.
Thank you.
Well, it's been a pleasure foryou to come on.
(50:42):
I appreciate you.
I wish you good luck in yourendeavor.
Anybody that's looking, pleasewrite down her website.
She offers a vast majority ofservices for us out here, and
that's that's not us as anyone.
Yeah, she's willing to do it,for it's for anyone that's
listening.
Please write that website down.
(51:03):
Go to it, check out if you needhelp with anything, especially
if it's any federal governmentworkers that may be listening.
Write that website down so wecan help you, also Because the
simple fact that we're in a sadtime right now, but guess what?
There's light at the end of thetunnel.
But I'll give you some finalwords and some final thoughts.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
I think the overall message here is focus on your
own wellness in order to thenhelp and heal the community and
then build legacy within yourfamily.
So wellness is not just anindividual experience.
(51:43):
It's an experience for yourlegacy and your families and our
community.
So you know, thank you forhaving me on here to talk about
this very important topic and Ihope that many people are healed
by your show.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
No, I hope so too, and if anybody that's listening,
I tell you there's alwayslistening.
I have an email DK and treepodcast at yahoocom.
Send me any comments, anythingyou want to talk about how you
feeling overall.
I love to hear overall.
I'd love to hear from you.
I'd love to hear from you Also.
It's DK and Tree Podcast onYouTube.
Everybody knows pretty much howto reach me and you know
(52:18):
football season is about tostart you know, eventually we're
going to talk about theschedules coming out, so we talk
about schedules.
We was talking a little trashabout football before we came on
here.
It's unfortunate I'm a Ravensfan.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
It is unfortunate, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
That's why my mother green TJ.
If you listen, she's an Eaglesfan.
Hey, listen y'all the SuperBowl champs.
Congratulations to y'all, and Idefinitely appreciate it.
And Erica, I see you comment onInstagram, erica.
Erica just commented she'slaughing.
(52:57):
All right, we're going to signoff.
We appreciate each and everylast one of you.
Stay tuned in.
Next show will be up.
It's a domestic violence show.
Any survivors, anybody that'sin a domestic violence, if you
don't even have to talk about it, please tune into the show.
Maybe it'll help you get out ofyour situation.
Maybe it'll give you someinformation to help you get past
(53:21):
that situation.
Or, if you want to come shareyour story, you can come share
your story too.
I appreciate you.
We're both signing off Freeaudio post-production
BioPhoniccom.
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