ROC Episode 32: The House

Episode Transcript
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(00:04):
Welcome to D&D 721. My name is Mud the Dungeon
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caninefinance.com. Good evening and welcome to DND

(01:08):
721. My name is Mud, the dungeon
master of this live play tabletop RPG Dungeons and
Dragons 5th Edition. And today we're doing something
a little different and a little fun.
We are also simultaneously streaming on Twitch.
Be sure to check out the episodedescription if you are listening

(01:31):
to this episode. You will see the Twitch link to
it as well. With that said, I am here with
my five wonderful players who are here with me tonight for a
very spooky October session. So all of my easily frightened,
easily spookable heroes go aheadand introduce yourselves to

(01:55):
everybody. I love October, that's why with
Skittles I play Thea, the Kitsune palette and Warla.
October is my favorite month. I love Halloween, I love spooky.
You can't scare me. I love that Jingle.
Hello. Bye.
This is Arcturus speaking, playing Nilkamus Whisper Wind,

(02:18):
and I too enjoy the spirits and the undead and things that go
Boo in the night. Yes, so very happy Halloween
season to all of you folks out there.
Who knows what's going to happenwith my necromancy skills.
You'll have to stay tuned and listen.
Pirate over here. Anyone who does not like the

(02:38):
Halloween festivities is toxic. Sorry to exclude some of our
listeners, but I mean hey, if you don't like Halloween, it is
what it is. You can ghost me all day and
I'll be playing. Hey 8th level.
Oh, eighth level high off Artificer.
Let's see what we're doing today.
Hey everybody, it's the Spooktacular Yamas here playing

(03:01):
Pebble hard bottom. She's level 8 and I cannot wait
to see what is in store for her.Level up mangler fish, what a
beast. And last but not least, I'm
Colton playing bragger near the Humble, A level 8 Bard of

(03:21):
Creation. Happy Halloween.
And I can't follow the rest of them.
They were. They were way too spot on with
their cheer. Back to the DM.
Yes, happy spooky season everybody.
And if for some reason that doesn't vibe with you, I guess
happy flannel season. I don't know with that guys,

(03:44):
let's do a little. Pumpkin spice season.
Happy, happy Pumpkin Spice Flannel Month.
All right, let's do a little recap.
You guys had a very eventful 24 hours as you emerged out from

(04:05):
the Temple of the Doppelganger and continued on your journey
with some directions provided toyou from the villagers and you
began heading South towards one of the more established cities
in Necrovan. Along the way you set up camp
for the night and in the middle of that night, after everybody

(04:28):
obviously got a long rest, a light could be seen moving
through the darkness. The image of a glowing woman in
golden light, wearing a white dress, running and distressed.
And she did in fact draw out first in a comas and then the
rest of our heroes, only to findout that it was not a helpless

(04:54):
woman in a white dress at all, but a very fun homebrewed
monster that was a angler bone claw mangler machine of
destruction that very nearly killed a couple of the heroes.
But working together with the power of friendship they were
able to overcome the monster andnot only defeat it but actually

(05:19):
enthrall it with our new necromancer who was able to make
the creature follow them back totheir tiny Hut and watch guard.
There was also a little bit moreof some back and forth between
Thea and her patron. Some more conversations had

(05:39):
between the two of them and her patron making it just a little
more clear what they expect fromThea.
Then as the night was ending, Nokomis did go into her trance
with the creature tethered to her through the raison dead
necromancy magic. And Nokomis had a vision and saw

(06:05):
before her was a throne made of bones and skulls and one of the
fabled counts of North Necrovan standing there seemingly staring
back at Nokomis complaining thathis pet was not answering his
commands. And I think it was your third or

(06:28):
fourth Nat one for that night, Arcturus.
Yes, that is correct. My roles.
Don't bring that up. We don't.
We're not. We're not talking about that.
There were some Nat ones, some Nat ones happened, and after
another Nat one. The Count did see Nicomas
through the trance in that in between veil, and promptly dug

(06:48):
his fingers into her eyes. At which point Nicomas snapped
awake out of her trance. But before she did, she saw off
in the corner of the Count's room was her brother.
And that's where we are with Nokomis snapping awake everybody
halfway through their long rest.What do you guys do?

(07:11):
Well I I stay sleeping Nokomis, if you wake me up Pebble is
going to beat the shit out of you.
Pebble, please roll a con Save No come.
On go I roll an 8. Pebble, you wake up.
I go back to sleep. Just another 8 hours to go.

(07:37):
Pebble, I gotta go back to sleep.
Anybody else? OK, I'll, I'll let you guys off
the hook. Everybody go ahead and click
that long rest button. You.
Oh. My goodness.
Enjoy the benefits of a very shitty night of sleep, but

(08:02):
mechanically you all get your long rest.
However, Nicholas, I'm going to turn it over to you.
Do you say anything to anybody about what you saw?
No, I just think it's a nightmare.
I'm going to actually not go into a trance again because I'm
a little bit of afraid of the trance.

(08:25):
I'm actually going to long rest and and heal.
You know, normally the Drude canjust trance myself to to health,
but after that experience I'm a little bit on edge.
So I'm going to just lay in the bed like a normal adult and try
to get some rest before I wake up.
All righty, anybody else doing anything after the events of the

(08:51):
night before morning comes? I mean, I'm going to do my usual
trance, so if I can, I'd like toshave off another week of my my
feet that I'm working on. A whole week worth, huh?
I said I would like to, not thatI could.

(09:12):
Wouldn't we all like to? Yeah.
So you know, without me digging 5 pages back in my notes here.
What exactly were you rolling for?
Working on that. I think it's just every week it
goes down by 1. I don't think I was actively
rolling, but it was just that I was reading and learning.

(09:33):
OK. We we were only rolling when we
were doing our time skips. That's right.
OK, I, I suppose mud for for if if we're kind of setting the
evening as pebbles going back tosleep after being woken by
Nokomis as she kind of prays to bark and just kind of, you know,

(09:54):
hopes for safety in this crazy freaking land.
Nokomis yells down the hallway. Sorry I had a nightmare.
Pebble, as you're laying there kind of thinking and praying
that go ahead and give me a religion check.
I'd never do good with these. Just don't touch.

(10:18):
Your mouth. Oh that lips like one that it's
a 7. Damn.
It wasn't a Nat 1 though. Yeah, you know, you, you don't
hear anything. You don't really feel any kind
of message come back to you. But as morning comes around and
all of you stiff, cramped, achy,you know again, like you slept,

(10:45):
but not great. Yeah.
Everybody does feel just a little more experienced, just a
little more in tune. You're working together, you're
fighting these beasts and monsters and exploring new
lands. And in case our listeners did
not catch it in the opening, allof our heroes have leveled up to

(11:07):
level 8. Yay.
You finally did it. We did it.
Wait, wait, can we level up again?
It'll only be 6 months till you level up again.
Only 12. More.
Levels to go, guys. We're getting.
There with that Pebble, you also, you know, you don't hear

(11:32):
anything back from bark, but you, you do feel just a little
more, you know, it's, it's hard to put your finger on, right?
It's like when you smell a stormcoming even though there aren't
storm clouds yet there. There's something about your
connection to bark that you can just kind of pick up on when
you're looking at the artifact of the piece of wood itself.

(11:54):
Yeah, I yeah, I suppose she's asleep, you know, slept the
night, clutching it, kinda hoping for the best, so to
speak. Do you guys leave your tiny Hut?
Is it morning? It is morning, Well, it's as
morning as it can be. What you guys have come to find

(12:15):
here in Necrovan, it is always kind of a perpetual dusky dark
grey, and at night it goes from that dark grey to pitch black.
All right, Yeah, I mean, I I want to do some more exploring.
All right, all right. From now on, if we go off into

(12:36):
the woods at night, we wake somebody.
It seemed like a side eye comment.
Who was that directed at? It's just generalized.
We almost got eaten. I had a good time but whatever,
I agree to wake up somebody if Igo venturing.
I do not agree to these terms. I suggest Pebble, she's always

(13:00):
clear minded. What?
Sorry, I just woke up. She loves to be woken up in the
middle of the night. And punch people for less?
If not, what do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do? I can go do whatever you want me
to do. Lead the way.
OK, while the the villagers thatare over by Annie Berkeley right

(13:24):
now, back with Annie Berkeley, they said that if we keep
traveling South, we'll hit a major city or a lesser major
city. What did they say?
What did they call it? I didn't catch a name of the
city, but they didn't say that there was a town that way.
So I say we keep heading South. Everybody let Bark guide the
way. The Gang of Five continue

(13:48):
traveling South as you do every now and then.
You know, the, the swampy marshland just stretches out in
every direction and it's, it's just your boots suck into the
clinging clay like mud with every step you take.

(14:08):
Your feet are soaking wet everything.
Like sometimes, like, you take astep and you think that it's
going to be on like a mossy patch or something that's a
little more firm and your foot goes straight through it and
suddenly you're up to your knee and swamp water with one foot
stuck, you know, hitched up on the side.
Wait, wait, wait. Who's who's knee?
All of you. It happens to you, Bragg.

(14:31):
You're walking along. Explicitly.
And you specifically, your foot sinks almost to hit deep into
the ground and you land. Give me a deck save.
That is a 13. You don't quite land face first
in the mud, but it's it's, it's a sloppy mess.
I pull myself out and wish I canstill clean my soiled clothes.

(14:54):
You wish you could, because now you can't.
I I no longer have pressed vegetation.
I got rid of that for starting with like a level or two ago.
Well, a a very dirty brag continues with the group and
it's slow going guys. It is miserably like it goes

(15:17):
from cold to sometimes hot to murky mucky wet all the time.
Every now and then a drizzle of rain comes down and all the
while it is just a thick layer of overcast clouds overhead.
You can't even see the direct sun at any given time or where

(15:39):
it might be in the sky. And as you continue journeying
on, it does start to go from that darkish to an even darker
shade of Gray, and you know thatnight is coming upon you again.
Could everybody please give me perception checks?

(16:03):
Oof. Roll the five. 14.
Say yeah 21 for Braggrenier. I got a 1614.
For me, 21 was Braggrenier. Yes, Braggrenier.
You're, you're in a particular area where you're, you're kind
of travelling where there's hills on either side of you.
They're not really like hill hills.

(16:24):
It's just kind of like some steep inclines where like this
kind of area at one point, like it was gutted by rushing water
at some point. And as you're travelling along,
you hear the slamming of a door.I relayed this to everyone non

(16:45):
verbally with thought speech andI'd like to figure out what
direction that slam came from. Yeah, with your role, that's
that's good enough. It came from behind the group.
So I non verbally say I just heard a door slam and we must

(17:05):
have passed it because it was behind us guys and girls.
Pebble turns around to look. I'm, I'm assuming if the mud is
up to like their knees that likePebble's shoulders are just
sticking out of the mud. Pebble.
She's She turns around. Up to her.
Eyes she turns around, looking to, you know, to, to, to kind of

(17:29):
see if she could tell where the sound came from like
specifically like obviously bragheard it behind us, but she's
looking to see if maybe she seeslike a a door in a hill or
something. I Ioffer to let Pebble stand on
my shoulder. I graciously climb up up on top
of Bragg and and and plop myselfonto his shoulder.

(17:53):
Anybody climbing on top of Pebble?
Nicholas is going to mold earth and make a little platform for
her to stand on instead of trudging through this mud.
OK. Pebble and Nakomis, both of you
give me some new investigation checks as you're looking around.
OK. I wrote a six.
I'm a great detective. You got this, Pebble.

(18:16):
I believe in you. Thomas is looking off.
In Nat. Nat. 19 Nat. 1919.
I got a + 0 to to investigation so any you know role that is
high for that is pretty damn good.

(18:37):
Yeah, I mean, I'm going to spend, I'm going to send my
homunculus also to kind of zig and zag and see, see if I can
spot where the noise came from. Pebble, You notice it just over
the Ridge from behind, the way that you went through this kind
of like winding, almost kind of like ravine like incline in the

(18:58):
earth here and behind a kind of like streak of gnarled, tangled
up thorny bushes. It's it's hard to tell because
it almost blends in with the brown of the thorns.
You would almost swear that there was like a rooftop just

(19:18):
past the Bramble and NAR Luen asyour homunculus like zips up and
zips around. You also can see the outline of
a building back behind that Bramble, and as your hermunculus
is looking at it and Pebble as you're on your tip toes on

(19:40):
Bragg's shoulders, you would swear that the house gets just a
little bit taller. Like it's it's growing.
The rooftop is now peeking up over the brambles.
Like it's growing or I can see it.
It seems taller because I'm up higher and able to see over the
the hill. I'm just trying to set the the

(20:00):
visual ear. Track.
OK. I was just trying to get, yeah,
that's not going to do very good.
I'll take a 5. It's definitely because you're
on your tip toes. OK.
So as I see this, and I feel like this is going to be a
horrible idea, you're going to preface that I'm going to shoot

(20:24):
a fire bolt up into the sky to try to light things up a little
bit more so we can see them better.
And it's just like a flare, a fire.
Yeah, OK. You fire a fire bolt up into the
sky and it briefly lights up thesky above all of you and

(20:45):
Braggrenier. You still can't see anything.
Nokomis you're you kind of like get the the message of, you
know, a direction to look. And as the light lights up, as
the Night Lights up a little bitfrom the fire bolt, you see the
house shrinks down a little bit back behind the brambles until

(21:06):
the fire bolt goes out entirely.But for a brief second you see
what looks like the reflection of the flames in windows through
the brambles. And can I dive off of Bragg's
shoulders and swim through the mud to see if I can find a door?

(21:28):
Swim through the mud. I mean like you would have to
climb up the edge of the ravine,which you could definitely do
with like a athletics check. You guys think thought speaking
to you guys, it's like, hey, should I go try to find a door
guys? I mean, at least, you know, I
see a house. Well, the, the, the real
question we should be asking is do we, I mean, we have

(21:51):
directions to the town, Do we need, do we need to bother
these? People, we've been walking all
day. It is becoming night.
This might be town. It's a house.
Houses are in towns. You are right, towns are made in
the houses. Yes, towns are made of houses.

(22:13):
All right. Thomas Pebble and Narloween with
your homunculus. As you guys are talking and
discussing, could the three of you please give me new
perception checks? Yes.
I got it dirty. I got a 24.
I got a 15. Yeah, Pebble, you're you're

(22:36):
making your argument with Bragner about houses in town and
towns are made of houses. And while Narlaween you look
back like you refocus through your homunculus and you realize
house is gone. That that little edge of rooftop
that you could see, it's not there anymore.
And Nakomis, you know, maybe youshape a little more earth, you

(22:57):
like edge yourself up just a little bit more.
You get a slightly better vantage point and you see that
same rooftop is about 50 feet tothe left now from where it was
before, still behind the brambles.
So we've got to catch it. Darlene looks over and Ebb

(23:19):
almost looks like she takes off running after the house.
It's not there anymore. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna make
that athletics check to go find that door.
OK, athletics check. All right, Oh, Yep, Pebble Swan
dives into the mud off of bragging rear's shoulder and and

(23:42):
powerstroke swims and climbs up this hill with a 10.
Oh, with a 10. Oh.
Pebble, you get to the top of that ledge and like you, you

(24:03):
hoist yourself up and the brambles and the thorns and the
vines are all right in front of you, the house, as you suspect,
just directly beyond. And the earth crumbles out from
behind your heels and you go rolling down the hill, back
down, falling, and you're going to take.

(24:25):
This was not the challenge. This is the slope all over
again. No, none of us could navigate.
Pebble, you take I I. Was using damage all right?
Yeah, I was using the wrong dice.
I was using the dice from a different character.
So I got that fixed. I threw away those dice and I
switched back to my Unicorn dice.
Everybody bragrenier? You see as Pebble comes rolling

(24:47):
back down the hill, rolling, crashing, bonking, cussing and
lands head first deep in to her like hips in mud.
I guess I step forward and pull her out.
Yeah. Thanks, Thanks, Bragg.
I climb back up on his shouldersand just sit there like, oh God,

(25:10):
embarrassed. Oh embarrassed, hiding her face
in shame. I walk up the hill.
Athletics trick please with disadvantage as you carry
Pebble. Oh no, I said.
I weigh. Less than his back.
I weigh less than his backpack. I'm walking 13 with

(25:34):
disadvantage. Braggarty, you managed to hoist
yourself up over the edge and you are now on the level ground
above that Ridge that you were all walking through.
And Nakomis, did you share with the group that the house had
moved? Yeah, I mind told everyone in
the house moved guys. Yeah, you can see like as you're

(25:55):
now up a level and a little bit closer, you can see through the
brambles and the thorns and vines.
And a little off to the left is what appears to be the outline
of a dark wooded building. All right, if if, if that house
moved. I mean, it does look warm.

(26:19):
Are you one of you like to? Approach it.
Yeah, I'm. Yes, yeah, I said that I am
determined to knock on the door.OK.
I mean, you're just, you're still on Bragg's shoulders, so I
mean. I swam.
Dive up. No, I'm just kidding.
I I climbed down because I'm assuming on this Ridge here
we're not in mud anymore. No, you're not.

(26:39):
Well, OK, yeah, so. It's still loose and murky.
Muddy. Yeah.
But yeah, I'm not up to my freaking eyebrows and mud.
So yeah, I climb down and I walk.
I walk over and huh. Yeah, yeah, you, you proceed
forward, you push through the brambles.
Narlouine, did I hear you're also going to climb up?

(27:00):
I will, yeah. The steel, steel defender and I
are are making our way over. I'm kind of using him to steady
myself. OK, Yeah, the slope is ADC 12.
As you're doing that Pebble, you're you're pushing your way
through these brambles, superficial like cuts and
scratches along like your shoulders and arms as you're

(27:23):
like shoving, you know, your waythrough all this and you're kind
of like watching your feet and moving and trying to get
through. And you push through the vines
and come out the other side, andin front of you is A2 story tall

(27:44):
huge mansion. And as Pepper says, the house
begins to lift upward off the ground, the ground shaking and
rumbling beneath the weight, allof the house lifting up off the
ground. And you see beneath the house 2

(28:06):
giant skeletal clod legs. And the legs turn towards you
and the double doors swing open and slam shut with a loud bang.
Guys. As Brag goes to follow Pebble,

(28:27):
he he sees this happen and he goes Pebble I I don't think they
meant like an inch. Guys, I, I, I, I think the house
is alive. It's got legs and it knows how
to use them. Pebble does a 27 hit.
No, yes. So, Braggrenier, you see this

(28:51):
clearly and gnarloine as you reach the top of the ledge and
are looking through, and with your homunculus, you see the
front face of the mansion. The whole thing takes one large,
eerily silent step forward, the boned claws sinking into all the
earth and the mud under the weight of the house.

(29:12):
And then the front of the mansion lifts up and swings
forward. The whole front of the mansion
slams down on top of Pebble. Pebble.
The last thing you see is the double door swinging open as you
are swallowed by the mansion. Oh my lion town.

(29:35):
Could everybody else close roll initiative?
Everybody else isn't. Not me.
Everybody. Oh.
Oh. OK, that's only for Bragrenier.
I. Got 3.
Well, I'm over the Ridge still so.
I'm hiding. On myself right now, no.
No, no, no. I'm up there with you.

(29:57):
Yep, Arloine is up there, Bragrenier's up there, Thea and
in in the ravine, and Nokomis isstanding on an earth molded
pillar that she made. Oh, where's Treble?
She's she's in the house. Yeah, the house frag Rainier,

(30:18):
But then at 20, you are. First you watch the front face
of the mansion lifts up and rotates itself upright again out
of the mud and Pebble is gone. And the doors swing open and
slam shut again, and you see this thing take a big lumbering
step towards you again, still silent as that skeletal leg

(30:41):
sinks into the mud, stepping towards you.
It is your turn. What would you like to do?
How can can I kind of tell how fast it's moving and and all of
that and how far it is? Give me a 'cause I did.
I did see an attack Pebble and that happened faster than you

(31:02):
could have imagined. OK, I I look at Narloween and I
say you might want to get back to the group and I cast Greater
invisibility on myself. Oh, OK.
Why do you say like that? Just for our audience, could you

(31:23):
please read Greater Invisibility?
You are a creature you touch becomes invisible until the
spell ends. The spell is up to one minute.
Anything the target is wearing or carrying is invisible as long
as it is on the target's person.I would like to note on like
lesser invisibility, you can attack and it does not break in

(31:44):
Vis. OK, good to know.
Do you move towards it? Move away from it?
You still have your movement in action.
No, that well done for my bonus action, just for flavor, I am
going to warn Nakomis and Thea what just happened.

(32:07):
Hey guys, a house just stood up and ate Pebble.
It has legs and I I will move, but I'm not going to move back
over the Ridge. I'm just going to take a few
steps away from Narloing, OK? The mansion is next with a 10

(32:31):
and a nine and a three. For everyone else's initiative,
the mansion lumbers forward. Now I need to ask an honest
question. Gnar, Lewin and Braggrener, were
you guys standing in a straight line from each other?
Did you go up the same piece of the Ridge to get up there?
I honestly thought that he stillhad to go up the Ridge because I

(32:53):
didn't. I don't remember him rolling the
check because me and. Yeah, you did not have him roll
the check. I I just said that I went out
with. That's why I set.
Up the only one over there. OK, so Narlawine, you are still
down next to Thea and Nokomis? No, I said I was climbing up
with the help of my steel defender and you said OK, sounds

(33:14):
good and well to the next person.
The DC was a 12, so we'll we'll just wreck on it.
Go ahead, give me a Athletics DC-12 and we will see if you're
up there or not. Meets and beats it.
Meets and beats I. Was really hoping you'd fail
that. You you turn around and you, you

(33:34):
run up to the ledge. Are are you standing next to
Narlawine or are you off to the side as you shout down to Nakoma
Cynthia? You know what?
I'm gonna change it. Can I grab Narlawine and jump
down the ravine? You are invisible.
Yeah. Yeah.
He doesn't see me, so I get advantage.

(33:56):
Give me a an either strength forgrappling or just like an all
out attack roll. Like if you're just tackling
him, that feels like an attack roll to me.
I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna use shove though.
Strength for Dexterity's saving throw, the target must.
Succeed. I'm gonna give it to you.
Wait. No, no, because you're
invisible. No, I just want to grab him and

(34:18):
pull him down. I don't want to.
I don't want to make. Him groan.
All right, so I'm rolling a decksave.
If I are, I think. Bragg Grenier's crashing into
you and either pushing or pulling you as he's also like
scrambling down the ledge. Bragg you're you're not.
Supposed to say him against I'm actively.

(34:40):
I'm gonna take. This I hear you.
I'm gonna take this confusion and I'm gonna say that's exactly
what happens. You go to like push him, kind of
slip. You launch yourself over the
edge, grabbing him to pull him. Give me an attack roll on it's
Nick on Narluene. That's a two I miss.

(35:00):
Yeah, you go to, like, shove Narluene over the edge and
Narluene, like, turned sideways,like looking around, like, huh,
where'd Brad go? And you go straight past him
over the lip. You also go hedge.
First, down the ledge, you take two points of falling damage.

(35:22):
But Oh my God, nobody sees my shame.
Nobody sees it. Just keep printing the.
Mud with that NAR Louine is the only one up there.
NAR Louine. You look around like where's
Bragg and the group is down beneath and you look back and
crashing through the vines and brambles.

(35:44):
The mansion on these giant skeletal legs comes crashing
through the brambles moving towards you, and Nara Lewin does
a 20 hit. Did you do it from like melee
distance over a couple feet or what?

(36:05):
What are we doing here? Where is this thing?
This thing is standing in front of you and the face of the house
is crashing down towards you. OK, so can you do it with
disadvantage for the deflect attack on my steel defender?
I sure can. Much thanks.
Just imagining the steel defender like blocking a house

(36:26):
right now I. Think it's just nipping at its
ankles? The second roll was better, so
The Dirty 20 is is the roll. Dirty 20 will just have a shield
so 21 does not hit. You.
So invisible barrier of magical force appears and protects you.
You watch as this thing comes atyou, doors opening and closing

(36:51):
and swinging, and the face of the house comes smashing down
and you throw up last second, this shield above you as you
watch a window smash into you. And the force of it, like you
feel yourself like sinking underthe pressure down into the muck,
even up on the Ridge here, almost being crushed under the

(37:13):
weight as this thing is pushing down on you.
And it's going to make its second attack with disadvantage
for our listeners and anybody athome.
The first one was a surprise round when it got Pebble.
Mm hmm. Surprise, surprise.
With. I'm in a house.
Stage Nara Lewin does a 26 hit. It does.

(37:38):
The house lifts up, and your shield, like you, you let go of
the shield spell and you like take a deep breath, like feeling
yourself indented partially intothe muck, and the house lifts
itself up and comes slamming back down again.
The doors swing open and Gnarloine is swallowed by the

(37:58):
house and it uses the rest of its movement, lumbering towards
the edge and under the weight ofthese big bone skeletal legs.
Thea Nokomis and an invisible Braggornier look up and they see
this two-story huge mansion teeter on the edge of the lip

(38:21):
tip top heavy and come rolling crashing down the side of the
ravine. And it is a thunderous earth
shattering shake as this thing rolls down and is now in the
muddy ravine with you bone legs kicking and scratching at the

(38:42):
air as it somehow writes itself and stands back up.
And that is the end of its turn.Which I think is going to bring
us to, well not Narlauine cause Narlauine is dead or I'm sorry,
Thea Thea is next Thea. Is next.
Yep. Yeah, Thea wants to jump inside

(39:05):
of the house. The doors swing open.
I'm, I'm going to jump right. In Nokomis and Braggrenier, you
watch as Thea charges for Thea. Describe it for everybody.
How? How does the rush into the
mansion? Thea is I'm assuming I'm covered
in mud. I'm slightly upset and now I got

(39:25):
this big house swallowing my friends so Thea kind of in my
mind sees she's got like shadowsaround her.
She just but marshes the house and dives in.
The OR doors swing open as Thea dives in and the doors slam
shut. And that will bring us to

(39:48):
Nokomis. Is there a chimney on this
house? There absolutely is.
Nakomis is going to turn into a crow and fly down the chimney.
Yeah, awesome. Awesome.
Yeah, I know. I love that so much.

(40:08):
Nakomis in crow form disappears down the chimney.
That brings us to the top of theturn Order Braggrenier.
All of your friends have been swallowed whole by the mansion.
You are invisible and alone as the mansion seems to shake
itself once the giant bone feet kick and claw at the muddy

(40:30):
ravine a little bit and it turnsand looks like it might start to
walk away. Braggrenier sighs and jumps on
the porch. And are there are there windows
on the porch? There are.
OK, I'm going to use the dagger denial to permanently lock the

(40:52):
front door and I'm going to findin the window.
Yeah, OK. I love when the DM doesn't see
it coming. Well attuned to this weapon.
Oh, wait, I attended to it last night, I think.
Yeah, I think it's into this weapon.
You can. You can place the point of this

(41:13):
blade into any keyhole and seal it shut.
The lock can only be opened by placing the dagger into the
keyhole again. The This house can no longer eat
people. They can only smash people.
You left towards the window and the window snaps open.

(41:33):
Do you? Do you just jump through?
Climb in. I want to look in hurts
everyone's going in different entrances.
All you can see is this blindingglowing light.
Do we all die or do I survive? OK, yeah, I will go in and keep

(41:55):
in mind I am still fully invisible.
Bragging here, you climb in through the window, and as you
do, the window suddenly snaps shut behind you.
And all of this took place over the course of about 12 seconds,

(42:17):
right? There is a Pebble, a gnarlaween,
and Thea all kind of like sprawled out on the front carpet
of a front mansion door. Braggrenier, You are climbing in
through a window that's off to the side and the window snaps
shut behind you and all of you feel like you're inside a house,

(42:43):
but there's like a slight like kind of seasick kind of feeling
as you feel like the ground seems to be swaying beneath you.
Hey, guys. Yeah, the house.
Is moving the Ford. You call it somewhere in.
The entrance. I want to.
What the hell? Just.
Happened while I'm in biz. You're you're going to what?

(43:05):
I'm going to explore for about 2020 25 seconds before I walk
back to the group. Like to use up my in biz?
Get something out of it. Yeah, give me a perception
check. All right, that's an 8.
I'm going to. I'm going to, I'm going to.

(43:27):
I'm not even going to waste a bardic, never mind.
You you see a door off to the left, you see a stairway
straight ahead, and you see a a vase.
Do I see the? The fireplace.
There is not a fireplace in thisentranceway.
OK, I am going to peek my head into that door to the left, OK?

(43:51):
Let me Well, well, you guys killme.
Well, OK, you're you're peeking in through the door to the left.
Could you please roll me AD 10? Just just the flight be sound
out there. Oh, that's 100.
Never mind, it's been too long. There we go.
That is a 2. Two.

(44:14):
OK, you crack open the door, andthrough the crack in the door
you see library shelves, rows and rows of shelves and books
and scrolls. Hey Pebble, there's some books
in here for you to read. I I believe you're in a
different room than us. No, I thought I was right.

(44:34):
Next to you guys, he's. In the main.
Entrance with the rest of you. He just went down a hallway to
the left and peeked through a door.
Oh, oh, oh, I thought, I thoughthe was in like a side room or
something. I was like.
Oh shit, no, no, he he came in through the main entrance window
next to the front door. I also let everyone know Nokomis
flew in through the chimney as acrow by herself.

(44:57):
Ha ha. We need to find our healer.
I hear a second rang. Sound.
Dennis. Oh no.
Books behind that door, Bragg I don't think anybody really cares
about books so. As you're.
Having chimneys are on the roof.Conversation, Nakomis We're

(45:21):
gonna we're gonna bounce to you real quick.
Nakomis, you go down the chimney.
And as the mansion was moving inyour crow form, you slam against
all four walls of the chimney, ping ponging your way down.
And could you please roll me AD 10?

(45:43):
I got 3. Nokomis.
You land in a dusty ash covered heap as a crow at the bottom of
the chimney and as you flap yourwings and kind of hop out of the
unlit chimney area and look around, you are in what appears

(46:05):
to be a greenhouse. It's like a sunroom.
The walls are made of glass, theceiling has large glass panels
to it, and you look behind you at the chimney that goes up and
out and yes, you're right, it makes no sense.
But you are surrounded as through the glass you can see

(46:31):
the full moon breaks through theovercast skies above you.
Not the full moon, but like the the the full spectrum of the
shattered Luna in the sky, all of it is lit up for a brief
moment. Now Comas is thinking to
herself, what the hell did I getmyself into?

(46:54):
I I do a little crow sneeze fromall the dust.
As you do, I you hear a Slytherin sound.
Could you please give me a perception check?
Oh. I got a gnat 1.
Oh no. She.

(47:16):
She. Cool.
Yeah, you sneeze again. Back to the rest of the group at
the main entrance. You guys have done a wonderful
job splitting the party. I love this.
The rest of the four of you brag.
Grenier, your invisibility clicks off, you are able to be

(47:36):
seen again, and the three of youhere.
Ah, ah. Welcome my guests and you see at
the top of the stairs across from the main entryway the grand
staircase. There stands a tall humanoid

(47:58):
figure wearing a black robe likecowl around him that has white
trim down the front and behind him as he takes a few steps down
the stairs, trailing his hand along the railing.
The top side of the Cape that follows behind him is black and

(48:20):
on the underneath side of the same Cape it's a blood red.
And he takes several steps and he says welcome, Welcome all.
You find yourself inside Betsy. Have you seen a crow?

(48:40):
I must admit I have not. Did a crow enter Betsy from
another place? I think so you.
Got you. You got a fireplace around here?
Yes, there are fireplaces. There's one in the greenhouse.
For some, I'll tell you what, I'll give you 5 gold pieces if

(49:03):
you can. Take me to the greenhouse.
Take us to the greenhouse. Ah, ah, ah, he takes several
more steps down the stairs and he says, My little gnome friend,
I have no use for gold. What do you have use for?
Careful, I've heard of these guys.

(49:24):
He's a werewolf. No, no, no, no.
Werewolves aren't real. He's clearly from the moon.
He takes a few more steps down and he says, I did you all
welcome. Welcome all to Betsy.

(49:47):
I am your host. I am Count Drake.
Did you say Houst as in the hostof a house?
Ah ah, ah, you make a pun, it isfunny.
I do not hear many jokes. Man.

(50:10):
Well, we got plenty of them here.
This guy seems friendly guys. Well, of course I am your house.
How many? Sorry, how many old pieces do
you offer? I can't stop laughing.

(50:35):
Sorry I. Love it.
I love it, I love it. How many gold pieces am I
holding up? One.
I'm sorry. I had to break.
I had to get that joke out. Well not I love it.
Well well Pebble and them are talking.
I would like to close the door that I opened, lock it, unlock

(50:58):
it and open it again with the dagger.
Well, we're distracting. Them.
Well, they're talking Jack. That's a. 14, please roll me AD
10. That is a three.
You lock the door, you unlock itand you reopen it and it is no
longer a library. Before you is an extensive

(51:23):
ballroom and there are you. You take a quick look there and
you see the spectral form of ghostly dancers waltzing in
pairs, but that's all you can see just looking through the
crack of the door. OK, back to the left.

(51:45):
We're going. Up to Nikomis here.
Nikomis, could you please give me a Dexterity saving throw?
Nat 20. Nat 20.
For a 21 baby. Hell yeah, as you are are in

(52:07):
your crow form. You dust yourself off once you
hear that Slytherin sound again and just in time the feathers on
the back of your neck stand up and you pop up real quick on
your wings and you see a green, a thick green vine with large
rend red thorns on it slashes through the air where you were

(52:30):
just standing and with your birdlike eyes in the dark.
There you can see the vine leadsback to a giant pot with a large
bulbous green and red spotted plant coming up out of it with
unnaturally long fangs forming aopening and slowly closing

(52:54):
mouth. Oh my.
So as you're in the air, you also get a better look now of
the green room as you take a couple flaps and you see a
skeletal form walking around from one raised garden bed to
another, muttering to itself. Nokomis would like to change out

(53:18):
of her crow form but land in a safe space and then I want to
try to speak with the dead. Awesome, you take up the your
wood elf form and are you makingany attempt to hide yourself?
Yes, I'm going to hide behind another pot that doesn't have a

(53:41):
scary red vine growing out of it.
Give me a. That was a nine.
The skeleton looks up as you andcrow form, land behind the pot
and take shape. And the pot looked a lot bigger
when you were a crow. And he skeleton looks over at
you and shrugs once and says meh.

(54:04):
Be sure not to knock that over. Oh, you.
You could see me. Yeah.
I can see you. What?
What? Where am I?
You're in the green room. Who owns this place?
I couldn't rightly tell you. I hear him call it Betsy
sometimes. Sometimes count, Drake says.
He owns it. Sometimes the doctor says he

(54:27):
owns it. Sometimes I say I own it since I
tend to the roses. Oh, those are roses.
Wow, some of them. These damn things are roses.
Yep. May I have one?
Don't you know how to treat a lady?
Nope. How dastardly.

(54:49):
And. What are you doing?
Here conversation you see the carnivorous plant open its mouth
and it screams feed me scally and the skeleton looks over his
shoulder and goes. MMM.
Red Vine's hungry air now. Now you got to feed Red Vine.

(55:12):
Can I feed the red vine a seed pod?
What kind of seed? Potato seeds.
Yeah, no, he don't like that. What?
What does he eat? As as you're saying this the the
plant screams and shouts for Skelly to feed him again and he

(55:33):
looks over his shoulder again and he looks back at you and
goes well red vine, he likes meat.
Eat carnivorous plant. I was afraid of that.
We're going to switch back to the grand entrance with the four
others. Count Drake is walking slowly
down the stairs and he says so. Perhaps you have heard of me,

(55:54):
Yes? I know Lewin would like to do a
history check to see if he's ever heard of Count Drake.
Yeah, give me a history check. You know how close I was doing
that pointing? It's only a nine, but it was so
close to. That 20s you have never heard of
Count Drake. How about Betsy?

(56:16):
No. Yeah, right.
How about how about Betsy? Nope, never hurt Betsy either.
We're we're. Actually new here Sir.
I, I would like to walk up from down the hallway and be like,
yes, we were actually sent here to peruse and, and, and see how
you've been doing with your homestead.

(56:40):
We, you know, Betsy is not one-of-a-kind, but close to and
and you know, the higher ups, they they, they want to know how
she's doing. Please give me two check.
Yeah. And I'm going to definitely
Bartik myself. That is an 18 per deception, but

(57:04):
with a 2 on the die. Jeez, OK, A2 on the die.
It's not in that one. So all the addition still
counts, Yeah. But it does.
The count takes another couple steps down goes ah yes, of

(57:29):
course. Please feel free to walk the
grounds. Make yourself at home if you
will. I myself shall be going to look
for your friend. The house.
It shifts and changes and moves.You may find it hard to find

(57:55):
your way around, but eventually you will find your way to the
banquet hall, and there together, we shall have supper.
Until then, I bid you adieu. And he pulls up his Cape and
turns into a bat and with several squeaking sounds flits

(58:16):
up towards the ceiling and then darts up the 2nd floor out of
sight. It's in the Home Monkey list
app. Yeah, I want to know where the
greenhouse is. I I opened the other door.
I didn't close the ankle hall door, by the way.
OK. The ballroom.
Oh, that was the ballroom. Oh.

(58:39):
Yeah, it goes. We're dancing.
Do you guys think that guy was avampire?
They're not real. He's a.
Werewolf. Oh, OK.
I just I OK. He.
Actually looks like a bat to me.OK, I'm trying to decide how how
to handle this. Your so your dragonfly

(59:00):
hermunculus is up there flying after him.
Yeah, it's just chasing him, OK.And it's tiny.
I mean he might not notice it. So you're homunculus is a
dragonfly? He's literally a bat.
I don't make the rules. Neither do I.

(59:20):
But he's not an actual bat. I don't imagine you imagine.
I'm. So full of flies I.
Don't want to be? True the.
Goes up the back, up the stairs and it flits and makes its way

(59:43):
to a door and flaps in front of the door and the door creaks
open and the back goes through the door.
Do you send the homunculus through the door after him?
Homunculus is too far away for me to give it commands, it's
using its own intelligence and it's got a + 0 so it's following
him OK. Could your homunculus please

(01:00:04):
roll AD 10? It's got a fly seat of 30.
I don't know how fast the bat flies, but.
About the same. And I can also give you a
stealth check for him if you want.
See how noticeable he is. That's a six on the D106, OK.
OK, the homunculus goes into that room with after the count

(01:00:33):
Drake and you have lost contact with your homunculus.
I will handle that off screen. The four of you are in the grand
entrance. You have the hall to the left
that leads to the ballroom that braggrenier unopened and
changed. There is a hall to the right
with a door and there is the grand staircase in front of you.

(01:01:00):
I suppose. Which way the four of you choose
to go and what order you choose to walk in.
I've heard this before. He.
He he, he, he quite. Recently.
I I can go first. Everybody I'll.
I'll follow. I'll follow Pebble.
Well, we need to go find the comas.

(01:01:22):
We just start opening doors until we find the greenhouse.
He he specifically went up. Yeah, I was going to go up the.
Stairs I was. Going to follow the way that he
went. OK if.
He's looking for Natomas and he went up.
I would assume we go up. Well, let's go up and we go up

(01:01:44):
the stairs. I guess Scooby-doo style them
all following me and. Behind you.
Skulking behind me. All hear a creaky jingling
sound. Could Pebble and Thea please
give me Dexterity saving throws?There a dog in.

(01:02:04):
Here. That I can see.
Yeah, you can see as the chandelier detaches from the
ceiling and this giant iron brass rot glass chandelier is
plummeting down towards the bothof you all.
Right, I got a 13. I have a 14.
Oh wait, that's con my bad. Hold on, I got a 16.

(01:02:28):
Thea You jump and dodge out of the way.
Pebble, You look up in time to see this chandelier getting
bigger and bigger as it comes crashing down towards you.
Pretty distracting the sparkly crystals.

(01:02:50):
Look at the rocks. Pebble.
You. Take 7 points of damage as
falling iron and glass shatters on top of and around you.
Thea you take half of that four points of damage as shards of
glass shatter outwards, cutting into you.

(01:03:10):
Oh ow. I suppose.
Faintly in the distance. I suppose I would pick up a
handful of these crystals from the chandelier and put them in
the pouch. I like rocks.
I'm reporting that continues. Yeah, I'll I I suppose we keep

(01:03:41):
moving, right? Yep, who was?
Bringing up the rear, I would like to be in 3rd Gnar Lewin has
the defender. Yep.
So Gnar Lewin has the four of you scooby-doo style.
Make your way across the grand entrance.
The chandelier falls and crashesaround you.

(01:04:03):
Do the four of you still want togo up the stairs?
I think so. I tried to stop so.
Could have been a coincidence. I still go up.
Could. Have been a coincidence.
Yeah, Let's keep going, everybody.
The four of you make your way upthe curved grand stairway,
making your way for the second floor and Pebble Thea

(01:04:26):
Braggrenier. You make it to the hallway of
the second floor of that second landing of the mansion and
Gnarlouine in the rear with a steel defender.
You need to please make me a strength saving throw as the
stairs suddenly snap downward and you are now suddenly

(01:04:49):
standing on a slick slide of steps.
Thanks, saving throw. It's going to be a 14 and let me
pull up my defender step lock for good measure.
He's got a + 2 to strength, so I'm just going to roll.

(01:05:09):
He's going to have an 11. You and the steel defender once
again ass over T cut lots of following this episode the
stairs as they turn uniform intoa downward steep slant.
You lose your footing. You you run in place for a

(01:05:29):
second, trying to keep your balance and fall forward.
And you would swear as you're laying prone on these steps that
it seems like the steps could bemade of bone.
And you go sliding back down thesteps and around the curve of
the grand stairware stairwell. And you look up and you can see

(01:05:52):
that a small trap door at the bottom of the stairs has opened
up. And you fall into a pit of
spikes at the base of the stairswith a 14 you and your steel

(01:06:12):
defender. Oops, wrong guys.
I was muted and I reaction featherfall.
Yes. OK so I am going to featherfall
both NAR Narloween and PIS Defender first level.
I can choose up to 5 falling creatures within the range.
OK, we're going to wreck on thisa little.

(01:06:34):
I have a question. Yeah, go ahead.
He did a a strength save, yes. Does my my aura protection still
count for +2 for everybody? Could you read that piece of
your aura protection for everybody?
So I just clicked the +2 on my side.
I'm trying to find it on somewhere else because it's a

(01:06:56):
whole like page so I thought it was for everybody but I don't
know. Let's take a quick look.
At them. Maybe look under Features and
traits. Yeah, that's where I'm looking.
Yeah, it's while you are conscious you grant all friendly
creatures, including you, within10 feet of +2 bonus to also hit
and throws. Yeah.

(01:07:17):
And it's just something that's like already there.
So I don't. Have to adjust it or anything?
That would have applied. You guys were kind of grouped up
close enough. So we're going to retcon the
retcon. Awesome, I save a small.
Slot, yeah. So you're 14 turns to a 16 now,

(01:07:37):
Louine. You run in place and
successfully grab hold of the ivory railing and keep yourself
from falling and sliding down asyou look and watch as your steel
defender, squawking and flappingits wings, slides and rolls down
the stairs, you save yourself from sliding down South.

(01:07:59):
Pride Veneer. New question, would you still
cast featherfall to save the steel defender as it falls?
Don't do it. Oh.
I I probably wouldn't knowing that he can repair it.
It wouldn't. It doesn't die technically.
Nope, that's true. The steel defender falls into

(01:08:21):
the spike trap or Lewin. Your Steel Defender takes 11
points of piercing damage. 11 points of piercing damage will
do, by the way. You can't be surprised.
That's cool. It's a trap.
Yeah, I know. He's he was very aware as the

(01:08:43):
floor turned into a sly. I just felt like it.
Was important for me to stand uporange.
He was very aware of every roll and bump along the way.
He was not surprised that he fell.
Give me two seconds. I got to click a lamp on in
here. I'll be right back.

(01:09:05):
I love this. Where are you?
Don't forget to eliminate any Scooby-doo so we're not censored
2. Gold coins I.
Mean, I don't think we need to worry about.
No, you're not. Mutation references.
You're muted. You're muted, which we can't

(01:09:26):
hear you don't worry about it. You guys trying to talk while I
step away for 10 whole seconds? I got a If you wanted to know
you shouldn't have leaved. Is this a warehouse?
It should have leaved. OK, we'll see you.

(01:09:47):
Braggrenier and Narloeen. You are at the 2nd floor landing
at the top of the stairs. Steel Defender is pierced and
cut up at the spikes at the bottom and after a moment the
stairs pop back into shape and it is a grand staircase again
for your steel defender to come up if you would like to command

(01:10:10):
it to come up and follow you. Sure, sure, why not?
Great, it gets near the top and the stairs snap back into a
slide. Could your steel defender please
roll me a strength saving throw?Absolutely.
A10 and yeah, I'm not even goingto bother with that.

(01:10:32):
It is unsurprised and looks up at you with mournful robotic.
Eyes it. Spreads its wings, lands flat on
its chest, looks up at you and you hear that screeching sound
of steel sliding down the slope back into the spike pit, where

(01:10:56):
it takes another 13 points of piercing damage.
All right, third time's a charm.We're gonna go back to Nokomis.
You are standing there talking with Skelly, the standing

(01:11:18):
skeleton gardener, tending to his roses and other plants as
the open mouth of Red Vine snapsopen and shut several times.
Vine's whipping in every direction around it, and Skelly
says yeah, no, he likes meat. Potato seeds.
That's not going to cut it. I would like to charm monster on

(01:11:39):
the Red vine plant. God damn, give me a yeah.
What? What?
What? Is that a roll or is it a save?
They need to roll a Wisdom saving throw of 13 or higher.
Gonna tell you this thing does not have a high wisdom.
OK. You said 13 or higher.
Correct. Yeah, that's a 7 -, 3 for a

(01:12:02):
four. The, the, the Red Vine opens its
mouth like the, the fangs of itsmouth, slowly as its mouth shuts
and the mouth closes, the the teeth interlocking, kind of like
a Venus flytrap. And it leans forward and it
doesn't have eyes, but it cocks its head to the side, opens its

(01:12:26):
mouth again and says, what's your name?
Hi, I'm Nokomis. Nokomis.
I'm Redvine. Hi Red Vine, pleasure to meet
your acquaintance. Forget you do me a.
Favor in a comas. I'll be happy to feed you.

(01:12:46):
Hey, I hear there's some meat inthe bones, in the marrow of
certain skeletons. How do you feel about skeletons?
I will. Eat anything and Skelly looks
and he goes hold on. Could you do me a favor, Mr.

(01:13:08):
Skeleton, and try to help me find my friends?
I think we can come to a mutual agreement here.
The vines whip and slam against the ground and red vine shots
feed me the skeleton and Skelly says don't, don't do that.
Red Vine seems pretty hungry. I don't know.
Yeah, yeah. I don't know.
He's he's very hungry. So would you walk a lady back to

(01:13:32):
the front entrance? Perhaps?
Well. I would, but the entrance is
there past Red Vine. I see.
So we're at an impasse. The skeleton turns.
He goes. Red Vine.
I know it's a wood elf and she'sskinny as hell, but there's more
meat on her than there is in my bones, and I'm going to do a

(01:13:56):
check here. I, I mean, like you've, you've
charmed it. So, like, I don't think he can,
Red Vine says. Yeah.
Yes. So much more meat on her bones.
Yes. Bring her to me, Skelly.
And I don't know. Skelly looks at you and he goes.
Yeah, well, you see. Well, I am still behind this

(01:14:19):
pot. Yeah, don't knock that over.
And with because I'm behind the pot.
How how much are you behind it's?
A pretty it's it's, it's a pretty big pot.
Yeah, it's, it's OK. I'm I'm going to hide behind the
pot again. You you Crouch behind the pot

(01:14:41):
and Skelly starts walking towards you and he goes, Yeah,
look, I'm sorry. I'm using Mask of the Wild.
You could attempt to hide even when you're only lightly
obscured. Please give me a stealth check.
Damn it, I roll the fly. You need to get new.

(01:15:05):
Skelly Like leans forward over the pot looking down at you and
he goes. I'm sorry, could you please give
me a opposed grapple check? What?
What should that be? That's going to be strength.
And strength saving throw. Oh, I rolled the three.
That's not good. It's not because he rolled.

(01:15:25):
A team. The skeleton with hands of bone
grab you like vices and he Yanksyou up to your feet and again
goes look I'm real sorry but yougot to got to feed Red vine and
Red vine likes meat. Yeah, but the red vine's charmed
and it's friendly to me. I.
Know he told me that he'd eat ormeat, not my bones.

(01:15:48):
And he starts dragging you towards Red Vine, also towards
the door. And Red Vine opens and closes,
snapping its mouth open. It shuts and yes, feed me
scally. Feed me Scally.
The red vines goes Yep, OK, here, Yep, here's here's the

(01:16:08):
wood elf. And the vines whip out, lunging
straight for you Nokomis. And at the last second they whip
to the side and wrap around Skelly.
And Skelly's head turns as the vines constrict around him.
And he looks at you and he goes oh shit.
And Skelly is lifted up off the ground, and Red Vine, roaring

(01:16:32):
with satisfaction, pulls Skelly into its open mouth, which opens
and snaps shut multiple times, bones flying everywhere.
You have a straight path betweenyou and the door.
I'm going to take this moment tocrab walk out of this situation.

(01:17:02):
Crab people. Crab people.
Nakomis, could you please roll me a new D10?
Surely I rolled the three. I keep rolling threes.
With that three you walk out of the green room and in front of

(01:17:26):
you the wafting stench fills your nose, and as the door slams
shut behind you, you find yourself standing in a kitchen.
There's rows of ovens and cook tops and fires burning all

(01:17:51):
around you, cast iron pots and pans hanging from giant hooks on
chains hanging from the ceiling,meat cleavers hanging from those
same hooks, and this black Icarus smoke fills the entire
kitchen as cauldrons are bubbling and boiling over.

(01:18:15):
Does Nokomis say or do anything?I would like to investigate one
of those cauldrons. I yeah, go ahead, give me an
investigation check. I rolled A2 for a + 2 for four.
You know, it's a cauldron that has a lid on it, and you don't
ever mess with something that's cooking that has a lid on it.
Everybody knows that. That's that's good advice.

(01:18:38):
Back to the top of the grand entrance, where her four heroes
watch as a very despondent Phoenix Steel defender slowly
walks up the stairs. It gets halfway up the stairs
and it looks up at Junar Lewin and it squawks once at you.
I I send out a mage hand with the rope that's in my little

(01:19:02):
satchel and tie it around the steel defender like a little
leash and start talking. Cute.
Perfect. The rope is tied around it.
It chirps once, happily, and it continues up the steps and the
stairs give out again, turning into a slide.

(01:19:23):
You don't have to do another strength save.
You've got the rope tied around it.
It. It runs and flaps its metal
wings and the you know by yourself or working with your
friends, you are able to pull the steel defender up the stairs
and onto the landing where it flaps its wings again, shakes
itself off and looks at you and then looks at the spiked holes

(01:19:48):
that were punched through it multiple times and looks at you
again. I just kind of had it a little
bit and then unravel the rope from the neck.
Go like watch your footing. How buddy?
It squawks. OK, you guys are in a hallway at
the top of the stairs. You know that you're Hermunculus

(01:20:11):
went to the right and went through a door following Count
Drake, and there is also a hall to the left where there is
another closed door. Oh guys, are we following the
the werewolf? Well, we are in a warehouse, so
let's follow the werewolf. Let's go.

(01:20:33):
Lead the way, Pebble. I'd go through the door that
outside. Well.
There's pieces nothing. I'm sorry.
There's pieces of the full moon.All the pieces are showing a
full Luna. Yeah, we Pebble.

(01:20:55):
Pebble goes up to the door, knowing that like everybody
were, the idea is to follow the werewolf and we go through the
door that he went through. OK, you open the door and you
find yourself standing in a roomfull of guest beds.

(01:21:20):
There. Are I didn't have to roll for
it. Well, you've, you've walked into
the room like you're, you're in there.
OK. Do all four of you walk into the
room together? It's a bunch of dude, it's a
bunch of other beds, guys. Do we see any other door or do I
see any other doors? Yeah, you do.
Off to the left. OK, OK, yeah, I don't.

(01:21:42):
I don't want to nap, but we got left.
Are you guys all coming in here?I think that's what Bud's
asking. I am I am following Mcmoo.
OK. So yeah, we're sticking together
as a group. OK, so the four of you enter
the. In style.
And it. Is dim.
It's dark. There are windows against one

(01:22:03):
side of the room, but they have these wooden shutters that are
closed over them. The beds are dusty and there's
like the smell of mothballs and old cotton.
The sheets on the beds are neatly made and to the right
side of the room there is a mirror with a large black sheet

(01:22:28):
thrown over the top of it, but you can see just the very bottom
of the mirror where some of it is standing out.
Oh, there's something in here. What do you guys think?
We should we explore this room, see if the IT holds any secrets
or lewd or or secrets or should we just go keep running through

(01:22:52):
doors like Scooby-doo style? Perception check.
Yes. Perception check.
I'd like to peer. I get on my toes and I look past
Pebble. Not hard to do.
I'd say. 17 yeah. 17 you. So you see the beds, that you

(01:23:17):
see the black sheet that's draped over the mirror to the
right, and you also see a besidethe mirror there is also a
wardrobe. And with that roll you see at

(01:23:37):
the last second as the wardrobe clicks shut as though it had
been open a crack and now it is shut tight.
That wardrobe just maved there's, it's either like the
house or someone is hiding in itlooking at us.
But we need to find our healer. Well, I mean, a door's a door.

(01:24:02):
The wardrobe door could be also a door like the rest of this
house. That that tracks.
Bubble I I fully agree. I say let's go to the wardrobe
door. I'll I'll hold this door open.

(01:24:24):
To the hall you. You. 1st.
OK, Pebble. Pebble goes up and reaches up
and opens the wardrobe. Before we go farther, I am going
to animate Little Brother. OK, I'm just getting that out of
the way. Now he is active for an hour.
I, I suppose, I suppose Pebble would like be kind of pissy

(01:24:49):
about like this game of hide andseek getting frustrated she
can't find Nokomis. So like, yeah, she'd probably
open the door in a more in a rage than a, you know.
So you're saying you're going into a rage?
Think we do the hopes? When you.
Say justify this. Oh.

(01:25:09):
That was angry. Well, this is either going to be
another door or it's going to bea mimic.
It's not a mimic. Swinging at the door with an
axe, trying to peer through it. Yeah, right.
Yeah, I can. I can do that.
I can, you know, like, you know,axe the door down.

(01:25:30):
I said it's flannel season, everybody, what are you doing?
Going into a rage and and swinging the door so wide open
that it busts its hinges. You swing and the axe cuts into
the wardrobe and you hear a woman screaming inside.

(01:25:54):
Do you swing again? I say it's OK, I'm not going to
wrench you and and open the door.
You can. See a tall, pale woman of a kind
of ghostly spectral form shriek,hands up to her face, her mouth

(01:26:19):
stretches impossibly wide open, and she seems to warble in place
as she screams and shrieks at you.
And could you please give me a, you know what your choice
strength or con saving throws asshe lunges forward at you?
Just double right. Just double, right?

(01:26:41):
Yeah, I guess rolling strength saving throw with advantage
because I'm in a rage. There you go.
You also get +2. So that would be a 19. 19 You're
staying there with your familialaxes in either hand, and she
shrieks and lunges at you, and you hold up your axes

(01:27:05):
defensively and her knife stabs into your forearm as she screams
No, leave me alone, no. And then she dissipates and
disappears, and with your save and with your rage, you take two
points of necrotic damage. We're just inspecting Betsy.

(01:27:28):
Home inspection. And she complaints about how
exhausting it was to shoot that scene.
More like home invasion. This isn't that kind of podcast.
Some deep cuts. Oh man.

(01:27:49):
Oh yeah, I is. Empty.
OK. Mothball I I, I freaking grab,
grab a mothball, put it in my pouch and, you know, stomp over
to the other door and open it and go through it.
OK. Is everybody following or doing

(01:28:11):
anything with the beds or the mirror or anything else before
you leave I. Don't want to touch that.
I don't want to touch that mirror.
I I know. I will have little brother fly
over and move. The cloth cover Oh.
Shit, yeah, your your dancing spectral antenna flits over to

(01:28:32):
the mirror and, you know, threads the sheet once and pulls
it back and there is a mirror. It's a Brad Herring.
It's just a mirror, guys, I. Can see myself in it.
I walked over to check how muddyI am.
Braggrenier As you are looking into the mirror, you see the

(01:28:56):
reflection of yourself and, and you are very muddy.
You are dirty. You are hurt, not really hurt,
but you know, you're, you're looking, you know, kind of
ragged from all of the travel and everything else.
And in your reflection you see your dark fallen Angel wings
stretch out behind you, and yourwings catch fire and burn,

(01:29:24):
turning into ghostly skeletal wings behind you.
And you watch as your eyes turn a darker and darker shade of red
and a very familiar looking scarstretches across the side of
your face, much like the one Devon the Grin had.

(01:29:47):
Could you please give me a Wisdom saving throw?
It's not just a mirror. It's 12.
US 2. 14. Yeah, OK, Brag.
Grenier. You take 11 points of psychic
damage as you see this visage ofyourself, evil and demonic and

(01:30:14):
turning into the kind of thing that Devon the grin.
Was my nose bleeds? Yeah, you, you.
You fall to your knees, your eyes burning, your nose
bleeding, and you look away and the image of you is gone.
So. So that's how it feels when I
text people. NAR Louine, you said you also

(01:30:36):
looked in the mirror. I did.
I can see myself in it. Yeah, NAR Louine, you are
looking in the mirror as Braggoneer drops to his knees
shouting. It's not just a mirror, you're
thinking to yourself, Yeah, it is.
And you look in and you see yourself, and the scars on your

(01:30:59):
forearms twitch and rise and youfeel the searing burning
climbing up to your elbows and past your elbows.
And as you're looking in the mirror, you can see your entire
body being covered in the gruesome black, charred burns
that are modeling and turning into burned, scarred flesh.

(01:31:24):
Your hair falls out and your eyes turn the color of basted
eggs. Could you please give me a
Wisdom saving throw? What?
What if I say I can't give you one of those?
I mean you. You could choose to fail, sure.

(01:31:44):
Well, I may have rolled a Nat one.
Oh my. God.
There might be a Nat one involved.
Wow, just don't roll a Nat one just.
Don't roll a gnat one in Mud's Haunted Mansion.

(01:32:06):
Oh, sweet bark. NAR Louine.
You're watching as the image of you is burning, crackling,
sizzling, and you turn to your friends and you open your mouth
to scream and instead a pool of blood and all of your teeth fall

(01:32:27):
out of your mouth. But.
That's grass. Takes 17 points of burning
damage. It burns when I speak.
You can't even articulate anything through the smoke that
you feel filling your throat andlungs.
I feel so awful doing this to a firefighter.

(01:32:53):
That's what it is. Happy, happy final season my
guys. Thea are you looking in the
mirror? No.
I said from the I said from the beginning that I wasn't going to
look at that mirror. As soon as she said there's a
mirror covered, I said no, fuck that mirror.

(01:33:16):
Yeah, leave it alone. While this is happening with
Bragg and Arnar, I've got my hand on the doorknob ready to
like that. All of that happened while I was
getting ready to open the door. So yeah, I'm not even paying
attention. I don't even know what's
happening behind me. At first, Narlawine, you think

(01:33:37):
you know you. You look at your hands and your
arms and it's just the usual scars, Narlawine.
And you, you look at like the rest of your body and you're not
actually burned like what you saw in the image, but you look
down and there is still a pool of blood around your feet and
boots and all of your teeth are in fact on the floor.

(01:33:58):
Well. Sure, I'm ready to get hard to
sprink. And that, ladies and gentlemen,
is where we are going to end thefirst half of this The Haunted
Mansion. Wow I got to say I I am digging

(01:34:20):
this session. This encounter bud.
This is really cool. I was I was trying to Indian in
the coverage you. I know exactly what you.
Trying to make those books come to life.
Yeah, yeah. Oh.
Oh. Guys, happy, happy spooky
season. I know we, we kept saying it,

(01:34:41):
but yeah, we're having a little bit of fun here with our parody
tabletop DN and D Dungeons and Dragons game here.
What a what a gift to me. Guys.
You. You have given me truly one of
the greatest gifts of not only splitting the party in my
confusing shifting bedroom Haunted Mansion, but not only

(01:35:07):
did you do that, you also made the one person separate from the
rest of you, your healer. Yeah.
Not forget. I feel kind of stupid, but I.
Wasted one of my fourth level spell slots before we even
started. Yeah, I had to use a fourth

(01:35:29):
level spell slot to charm a freaking plant so it wouldn't
eat me. So, you know, mistakes were
made. Level I had to use a fourth
level spell slot. Wait, no, I didn't you to cut.
A real shine on that wardrobe, if you will.
Yeah, no shit. I.

(01:35:50):
Lost my teeth. I have no teeth.
I don't know. I don't know that there are any
dentists here. I got you.
I got you. I I feel like I will after
chewing some rocks and failing astrength save.
Right, I got, I got to say, I got to say the the the

(01:36:14):
coincidence is either staggeringor you watched or.
Or or. You know, seeing the same game,
you know, same new game that I saw like I want to say 2 days
ago, I was watching a video fromone of one of the gaming
Youtubers that I watch and, and he was play testing a demo for a
sort of haunted house game whereyou go through the rooms and,

(01:36:36):
and it's it's like a rogue lightthing where you go through a
door and it's a random room and you have to get to the end of
the house and the rooms are all random or whatever.
And then I'm like, it's just complete coincidence.
It's got to be. Not seen that game but I have
played little peek behind the screen here.
I have played the board game TheHaunting of Hill House.

(01:37:01):
OK. For any of our listeners who.
They have a board game. Yeah, no, they've, they've got
an actual like tabletop play game where you're a group of
people and you know, The Haunting of Hill House and
that's actually, it's a really fun game.
So, you know, shout out to Haunting about house.
You should sponsor us. You you build the mansion as you

(01:37:22):
explore room by room. And so I, I borrowed a little
bit from that kind of mechanic, but I, I've got my own kind of
spin on some things here, so. That that'd be fun to do
something like that. That'd be fun to come like that.
Yeah, that'd be fun to break into like a non DND style game

(01:37:42):
like that. You know, that's pretty cool.
Yeah. For a game night thing.
Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah, this is really cool.
I'm, I'm digging it. I'm here for this.
Like first you're gone. You're like everybody else.
Roll initiatives like wait. Like really?
I'm gone, gone. I'm just like, OK, that'll mute,
mute myself and wait. Mute myself and wait.

(01:38:07):
Yeah, so. Another other fun.
Peek behind the screen the househad a like a + 15 to hit so when
it got The Dirty to me on Narloween it literally rolled A5
and you you got to play with oneof those Shields but.
I got to ask, is it a warehouse?I don't know what that means.

(01:38:30):
What's that, everybody? Thank you so much for listening
to this D&D 721 podcast, our Dungeons and Dragons parody.
We are decent, and I am joined by these five.
I don't know you guys. On a scale of 1 to 10, how
spooked are you? We'll start at the top with
Arcturus. I am about 4 1/2 out of 10

(01:38:53):
spooked at the moment. I think it would have been more
had the plant tried to take a bite out of my leg or something.
But, you know, clever use of game mechanics avoided certain
death, so you know. You know, I could not, I could
not punish you after expending such a high level spell.
I appreciate that. Yep, I am a benevolent dungeon

(01:39:14):
master. Arcturus.
Anything you'd like to plug or shout out for the night?
DND 721. If you're not here, you're not
cool. Absolutely.
Only cool kids play DND everybody knows.
That's right, only cool kids. Next with our little our little
frightened heroes is now NAR NARthe Toothless Pyrocegonite to

(01:39:37):
the good folks. I have no idea how well you
could actually understand me when I speak that way.
I do my best. That's going to come through.
You know you can't understand it.
That's how it goes, man. Do my like, was it like Family
Guy like the old guy like that like that's what I'm trying to

(01:39:59):
channel. Anyway.
Good night guys. I hope that I somehow regain my
teeth. If you know a good dentist
please please reach out. I'm just a young 200 year old
elf. I still have a lot of wives
ahead of me. On your scale of 1 to 10, how
spooky were we? We were at A5.
I enjoyed the house until I lostmy teeth.

(01:40:19):
Now I'm at a nine because I'm scared.
Fantastic. All right, next in our list is
Mr. Tolton, who plays Brag Grenier.
Oh, well, you, you took what I was going to say.
But no, it was, it was fun. I definitely liked that.
You know, I really should have waited on that spell and I

(01:40:42):
thought about it afterwards. I should have climbed into the
chimney. I think that would have saved us
a little bit. But spooky, spooky factor.
I wasn't about to walk in that ballroom.
Yeah, that's the truth. Some some ghostly folks dancing
down there. Will we see them again?
We'll find out. Anything you'd like to plug or

(01:41:03):
shout out, Tolton? I know it's already going to get
plugged but Wawa Skittles has been streaming daily now.
She's on day 11 so if you're want to support her feel free to
stop by her Twitch. It's Wawa Skittles with 1P.
Fantastic. And Speaking of wah wah

(01:41:25):
Skittles, wah wah, you are next.Say goodnight to the good
people. Hello and goodnight.
This one has been very, very fun.
I love spooky. And it's funny that you had said
The Haunting a Hill House 'causeI just, I see you Pyro.
I just rewatched that show the the TV show because I've really

(01:41:47):
been into wanting to watch horror stuff at work.
Yeah, so it's been fun on a spooky scale, I guess I was, I
was pretty much at A at a zero of being spooked up until I
walked into that room and there was a mirror and I knew I was
not going to look at it. So.

(01:42:08):
Yeah, you don't even want the way you would have seen in it.
I no, I don't. I really don't.
I really don't. But yeah, plug in my my, my
twitch while watch skills dot, TTDTV or whatever the heck it
is. I don't know.
Yeah, I will probably switch to Apex.

(01:42:28):
So if you like a first person shooter battle Royale, that's
that's mainly what I do. I have been crocheting as well
during this whole thing. I've made 4 little dragon legs
so I'm making a baby dragon. I should get into crocheting and
then I could put crocheting on our marketplace as really,

(01:42:48):
really bad muddy crochets. Well, wonderful job, Wawa, and I
think that's everybody. I got everyone.
That's it. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Last but not least, our editor
in chief, Yamez say good night to the good people.
Hey everybody, good night. Thank you all for listening.

(01:43:10):
Thank you all for supporting, you know, spread this around,
let people know that we're doingthis toss it up on the Reddit
stuff. I'd also like to do a quick plug
and shout out to our we are starting a so we actually
started it and it will be will have been released just before
this episode. Check out if you haven't
already. Shards of the falling flame a a

(01:43:32):
new campaign in DND 721 that is being ran by Barkoshi.
The mind behind the guts pool one shot.
It's it's cool. I play a turtle.
So yeah, hop on over there and check that out too.
And yeah, I'm going to just do the plug as usual for our NF TS.

(01:43:56):
So close, everybody, so close. Not really close.
They're they're turning out to be so much cooler than we
thought they were going to be initially.
Like the the tech behind what we're what's what's going on
with the mint tap and everything.
So really cool stuff and so close to the point where I may
have to edit this out and re record it, but so close to the

(01:44:20):
point where go mint some of our NF TS.
Yeah, by the time this recordingcomes out, you may actually have
NF TS in your possession. Yes, guys, Secret don't tell
anybody. We are getting that close.
Or do tell somebody. Take your mind.
Yeah. Yeah, man.
Last last question, scale of 1 to 10, how was the spook factor

(01:44:42):
for you? For me, or for Pebble, that's an
important distinction. Let's.
Go pebbles probably had about a two because like she was
standing there in a muddy field and all of a sudden she was
eaten by a house. But other than that, she hasn't
really seen anything scary to her, you know, so like she

(01:45:03):
didn't see the mirror, she didn't see the the the ballroom.
She didn't see, you know, she, she saw this weird guy that, you
know, turned into a bat. But I mean, she sees in the
comics do that all the time, youknow, turning into a crow.
So, like, this is all like par for the course for Pebble.

(01:45:23):
All right, everybody Well. With that, thank you again to
our listeners. Thank you so much to our
supporters. Whether you are a holder of the
D&D 721 token on the Bass Chain,whether you support us on
Patreon, or if you are just listening to this on any of the
platforms that we stream on Spotify, Patreon, iHeartRadio,

(01:45:46):
or Amazon Music. Thank you so much for being here
with us as we kick off the end of the year with flannel season,
with all the cozy scarves and pumpkin spice lattes and hot
chocolates and all of that good cozy, warm, fun stuff for fall.
Thank you so much for being herewith us.
Yama's already plugged it, so I won't do it again.

(01:46:07):
We have some more exciting stuffcoming with the NFTS and it is
going to be really fun. And stay tuned also for that
other campaign because that is also going to be a good time.
The only thing I'll add to that that Yamas did not bring up is
this is a purely new and original campaign.

(01:46:28):
Much of our campaigns, they all exist in the same home brewed
world. Whether you're listening to this
campaign, the RIP of Chaos or the arena battles or the one
shot adventures, they have all existed within this world.
Barkoshi has created his own world.
So if you listen to last week's episode and you were wondering
how does it tie in? Fun fact, it does not.

(01:46:50):
It is its own stand alone campaign.
And I'm very excited for that and for what Bart Koshi is
making. You're here with that guys.
Thanks again for being the players.
Thanks again to the listeners and I hope you all have a
wonderful rest of your night. Bye.
Someone. Praise Bart.
Praise the chained 1. Praise Bart Shriek.

(01:47:12):
Praise Trump. I have AI, have a plant friend
now, yeah. Praise the Red Vine.

(01:48:01):
The fog grows thick through the necroven plain, where the dead
still are. In the cold night rain.
No garden grows, no light remains, but the ground still
trembles. Beneath the chains there's a
house that walks on bones so thin its chimney breeze where

(01:48:26):
the stars begin. Every steps a shot at prayer,
and whispers bloom in the stagnant.
He's still there. He's.
Still there man. She walks through my rain Miss

(01:48:56):
carrying secrets, notes on good lives.
A. Cow resides where candles bleed
on the night it opens to his need.
Step by step bone by. He drinks.

(01:49:34):
From Crystal, not from cup. And his guests go quiet when the
sun comes up. Velvet halls and gilded lies,
echoed laughter where silence dies.
If you hear the violin play, pass through the counts at his

(01:49:56):
feast beneath the red vine tree,through the marsh, it walks
alone on skeleton legs and sighing.

(01:50:18):
Stone doors unhinge when the Thunder moans and blood runs
thin through the weathered bone.Windows boom with candy, then
fade again into the night. If you follow, use your way to

(01:50:42):
count. Don't lay when the laws don't
stay straight. Don't stay in the storm
straight. Don't.
Stay the mansion walks through my and miss carrying secrets no

(01:51:11):
priests could listen. The count looks out pale and
proud. Toast the moon and laughs too
loud. Every window so watching, every
shadow remembers why step by step, boom by boom.

(01:51:43):
I saw it once when the wind turned red.
The swamp stood still, the fireflies fled.
Through the glass, I saw his face.
He's smiling, slow in an empty place.
He raised his glass as the mansion swayed, and I felt my

(01:52:06):
breath just slip away. No heartbeat now, no dawn, no
cry. Just a song that won't quite
die. He's still.

(01:52:26):
He's. A mansion walks through swamp
and sin with the cow inside and his painted grin.
He waits for a guess to lose their way and keeps their souls

(01:52:46):
till break of day. The night feels longer than
dawn. The count of the mire.
Walks on, walks, on walks on walks on walks on.

(01:53:13):
The fog will clear, the dream will fade.
But red footprints linger where the mansions stayed, and
somewhere deep where the bone still hunt is calling and your

(01:53:40):
company.

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ROC Episode 32: The House

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