April 29, 2025 • 40 mins
Ever wondered what real estate professionals talk about when the cameras are off and the drinks are flowing? Welcome to the unfiltered world of property sales after dark. In this hilariously candid episode, veteran agents Kim and Colleen spill the tea on their most shocking, disgusting, and downright terrifying experiences in the field.
From the $600,000 lakefront property where sellers left bags of dog waste in the basement closet to houses that literally smell like death, these stories reveal the stomach-churning realities agents face during property showings. You'll cringe as they describe walking in on naked homeowners, stumbling upon drug users in basements, and accidentally submitting brutally honest feedback to the wrong listing agent. Their tales of snake infestations, aggressive dogs, and potential hauntings will make you appreciate your own home-buying journey – or at least the professionals who guided you through it.
Beyond the laughs, this episode highlights the genuine dangers real estate agents face daily. When Colleen discovered a client's extensive criminal history including sexual assault and home invasion, it underscored why safety protocols are essential in this profession. Bart's legendary story about threatening to throw a difficult client "in the trunk and take him to the Cal-Sag" (a notorious body-dumping location) reveals the creative ways agents have handled troublesome situations before more professional standards evolved.
The spring market madness comes through clearly as both hosts describe working non-stop to accommodate eager buyers in today's low-inventory environment. Despite exhaustion and stress, their passion for helping clients navigate life's biggest purchases remains evident throughout their stories. Whether you're a fellow real estate professional, a curious homebuyer, or someone who appreciates unfiltered workplace stories, this episode offers a uniquely entertaining glimpse behind the property listing curtain.
Listen, subscribe, and share your own real estate horror stories with us! Available on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, Amazon, and iHeart Radio – because sometimes the truth is stranger (and smellier) than fiction in the world of real estate.
💡 Lessons we’ve learned about balancing it all—sometimes successfully, sometimes… not.
If you’re out here trying to do EPIC SH*T, this one’s for YOU. Hit play, tag a friend, and let’s do this thing together! 👇
🎧 Listen now on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music & APPLE Podcasts!
🔗 Podcast: https://doepicshit.buzzsprout.com
🔗 All Links: https://linktr.ee/DoEpicShit.RealTalk
📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DoEpicShit.RealTalk
🎙️ Hosted by: Colleen Basinski & Kimberly Neill
Smash that follow button & get ready for more EPIC $H*T 💩💥
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It smelled really bad in there.
I said it smelled like a deadbody, did something die in this
house, like I'm detailed with myfeedback Friday night.
Woohoo, it's Friday night,seltzers are flowing Filter's
gone.
Welcome to Do.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Epic Shit.
I'm Colleen Bosinski, I'm KimNeal, and we are here to share
with you.
Oh, tonight's gonna to be a funone.
Tonight we're spilling tea, sothese are going to be the war
story, the mishaps, the hauntedhouses, the naked cellars, the
time someone brought a goat tothe office.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It's all happening tonight.
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
If you're a client, don't worry.
We changed the names to protectthe ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
You bet but buckle up .
Speaker 2 (00:45):
It's not your mama's market update.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
This will be a good one.
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So this is real estate after dark.
Yep and drunk, Grab your drink,mute your kids and let's get
into the chaos.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Alright, so should we hear some drinking game rules
tonight?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, let's do it.
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
So take so take a sip every time someone mentions
haunted house.
Okay, a deal blew up oversomething ridiculous.
We hammered Co-op agents onnecessary drama.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Drama agents.
They're in the wrong agency.
You hear the word inspectionnightmare Yep Final walkthrough
disaster.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Someone admits they cried at a closing Yep.
That would be me.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
And if you say the words.
I wish I was kidding out loud,because I tell you we are going
to share some fun, fun storiestonight.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Let's do it.
Are you ready to dig in?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
yeah, let's go, let's do some epic shit story tonight
.
All right, kim, let's diveright in.
Okay, what's the grossest houseyou've ever shown yesterday?
Oh one.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
One bump was yesterday, walked through the
breezeway and it's connected tothe garage green room.
Beautiful overlooks the lakeand there is mashed fruit and
tomatoes as soon as we walk in.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Well, I mean, it wasn't poop.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Well, I was getting to that.
Okay, I was getting to that.
Leave it to me to interrupt you.
So we go through and wespecifically ask this is
terrible.
Can you please clean up the dogpoop in the closet in the base?
like a dog had an accident thereor no?
Like the dog, they kept in thebasement and had a piece of
(02:17):
linoleum on cement workroom andthe dog just pissed and shit
there.
They picked it up, put it in abag and threw it in the closet.
What I didn't tell you thisstory, no, it was my house from
yesterday.
Oh shit, literally.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So specifically in our attorney review we said
place has to be cleaned,especially the closet in the
basement did the attorney saylike the needs to be cleaned out
of the closet in the basementor they were like kind of you
know parenthesis, the feces inthe basement because it's like a
foreclosure or like a rockbottom price or what was the
(02:57):
deal?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
no, not at all.
It was just average sellers.
What was the sale price?
Almost $600,000.
Beautiful area overlooked apond private pond but it was
absolutely disgusting.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
So how do you handle that situation when you're so
obviously the attorney reviewletter?
You talked about it.
You went back for thewalkthrough.
Was it cleaned up?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
No, well, I will say this it wasn't as bad.
Your facial expressions tellthe whole story it was not as
bad as when we saw it.
There was leftover shit there.
Literally you can't geteverything, maybe, but to leave
bag of dog shits for somebodyelse to clean up who keeps dog
shit in their house.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
These sellers, psa homeowners.
Don't.
Keep bags of dog shit in yourhouse.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Throw them out take, take it out to the camp.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
It's not that hard.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Like a couple of steps right.
It was god awful I was at thiswalkthrough for three hours.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I find a walkthrough is supposed to be like 15
minutes, 15 minutes, but here'sthe worst part, like, okay, it
is what it is.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
People do stupid shit .
My clean could be differentfrom your clean, right yeah, but
my poor client was in tearsFalling her eyes out, falling
her eyes out.
So what do you do in that case?
All you can do is console them,offer them.
I'm sitting there as she'swalking through.
I'm looking on Angie's list Bum, tech, all these places to get
her a cleaner in there, becauseshe had to.
(04:17):
She was moving in the next day,so you do what you do.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
So how did you resolve the situation, like,
what did you end up doing?
Because I'd like to hear ifthere was a happy ending.
There was a happy ending, whichwas great.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
The sellers decided to compensate, which was
wonderful.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
How much encouragement did they get from
your side to compensate?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Here was the bottom line we weren't going to closing
until it was resolved and theagent actually was great on that
side.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Well, I think his agents too.
You know, there's good agents,bad agents, and there's good
clients and bad clients.
Yeah.
Sometimes the agents don't haveany control over some of the
crazy shit clients do and youknow what.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
This was the case because he was great.
I just don't don't think hissellers cared.
We were moving out of state.
It was fine, we loaded up themoving truck.
Even though the moving truckpulled in and blew out the whole
mailbox mailbox was down.
But I mean, we're packing upreliever, we're moving on a safe
unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
So you were able to resolve the situation and get
them a good outcome, butunfortunately, with the way the
market is now, the inventoryshortage.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
It's not like they could just go find another house
, so no, you had to rally for aresolution.
So it was to you, girl yeah,thankfully it worked out, but it
was stressful.
You talk about not sleeping youearned your money on that one.
I did earn every dime on thatone.
But when I was leaving theclosing she texted me and said
kim, I can't thank you enough.
I will refer you to everybody.
(05:40):
Your graciousness and yourkindness was more than we could
have expected like.
It was very heartfelt andwarming but I mean, we've talked
about this before on otherepisodes, where I talk about,
like, how your kindness comesthrough and how he's like you
always go the extra mile forclients absolutely, you took a
bad situation and made it intosomething that was palatable for
some people and I think too, asyou get through this and as you
(06:02):
count down the years thatyou're in the business, you
learn to deal with like tryingnot to make like before.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Five years ago I'd be like oh my god I can't, well,
you can't, you just can't dothat you can't blow off the
other agent's head you can'tlike because you have to have to
play nice in the sandbox thesandbox is small and there's a
lot of shit rolling around in itand I feel like we will run
into each other again at somepoint.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
you know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
It's the people that are doing business, that those
are the ones you run across allthe time.
And there's I mean there's alot of licensees out there but
not a lot of people actuallydoing business, so you have to
play nice in the sandbox.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yeah, so it was interesting, so I have one.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I didn't sell the house that I had a gross house.
I mean, I've had a lot.
I won't say a lot, but I'vebeen through a few gross houses
in my career and some of them,you know, the client just can't
help like.
So I I've had one recentlywhere the seller was like I'm so
sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sosorry, and it's a situation
where they had tenants in thehouse and they destroyed the
house and it was disgusting andshe felt bad and I said it's not
your fault, like this is notyour fault, you evicted the
tenants.
This is the situation we have,don't worry we'll get it sold.
Then we sold it.
We had I don't know sevenoffers in before it even went
(07:09):
live on the market so if youprice things appropriately for
the condition and what's goingon, that happens.
But I will tell you a funnystory I have.
So I was scheduled to show atown home.
I think it was in Deverville orDarien.
I'll ask somewhere, i'tremember.
I go to show the house and Imeet the client for the first
time.
It's a new lead, right, so I'msuper excited to meet them and,
you know, had them sign thetouring agreement, agency
(07:30):
agreement, because we have tohave them sign something now
before we can open the door.
And, you know, give them mypacket my fancy packet the flyer
and all the information and Iopen the door and the smell was
so p like the subfloor in thekitchen and it's a two-story
townhome and like we'reliterally, and the clients, you
(07:50):
know, you don't know how to act.
You're meeting clients for thefirst time after they've just
signed an agency agreement withyou or whatever, and you know,
I'm like I'm really sorrybecause I didn't know.
Obviously that's why it waspriced where it was, but it was
still not cheap.
It's like three, three hundredyeah, it's a little townhome,
right two bedroom townhome, andwe go through and it's like it,
the smell is just overpoweringand there wasn't like filth and
(08:11):
garbage in there, but it was sobad and the clients looked at me
and there was a little bit of alanguage barrier, like I could
kind of you know.
I don't know what nationalitythey were, but english wasn't
their first language, so I'mtrying to communicate to them
too and they're like, yeah, I'mlike, yeah, it stinks.
And they said, oh, my god, itsmells like dead body in here.
They're like, yes, it was soover and not that I know what a
dead body smells like, but if Iimagine what a dead body smells
(08:33):
like, that's what it would havesmelled like.
Oh, but it gets better.
Wait till you hear what I didon this one.
This is not even the good partyet.
So we leave, we close upwhatever and the bedroom, one of
the bedrooms, like all thecarpet, whatever kind of floor
they had, and was all ripped out, and so it's just the subfloor,
but you can see a big stainbecause it was a dead body
probably was so I leave theshowing it was darien.
I know it was darien becausethen the next day I have so this
(08:55):
is about like a three hundredthousand dollar buyer.
The next day I have buyers thatI've been working with and I'm
showing a lot of property to andthey're looking in lamont and
darien and some of the otherareas around there and I skip
and a house comes up and they'relike oh, kylie, can we see this
one?
So I get Sunday, so that wasSaturday afternoon, I showed
that one.
So Saturday night they text me.
They're like can we see thisone?
I'm like, let me see if I canget it scheduled for tomorrow.
What time?
One o'clock.
So I get it scheduled for oneo'clock At like noon, 11 o'clock
(09:18):
or noon.
You know you get the automaticrequest for feedback.
So, yes, I did.
The one that I was showing at 1o'clock was like $650,000.
Beautiful two-story home.
I haven't showed it yet At noonI, oh, you know, sorry, this
wasn't the house for them.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
It smelled really bad in there.
It almost smelled no, I said itsmelled like a dead body.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Did something die in this house.
Like I'm detailed with myfeedback, no.
Okay, so go to the show and atone o'clock with my other
clients, right, we walk in therelike, oh my gosh, this is the
one.
This house is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
We're there.
They have their brand new baby,we're walking around.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
It's like I remember we're there a good 35 minutes.
I'm like, and you know, theyknow how fast the market is and
how things are priced, and theywant to.
So I'm like they're like askingme questions.
I'm like let me text thelisting agent while we're still
in the house.
And I'm like blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
She's like, well, you'll haveto text the co-lister, but
didn't you say the house smelledlike a dead body?
No, you did.
I gave you back the wrong,freaking house.
(10:24):
So now I have to recover, right, because my clients love this
house and they want this house.
I was dying.
I was literally dying.
I'm like I've insulted them.
That feedback's going to goright to the sellers, the system
depending Now like I have itset up online so I can filter it
and then send it, because younever know if someone makes a
mistake or they whatever.
I don't know if she has it setup to filter.
Some have it go automatic.
So anyway, I'm like, I'm on thephone, I'm texting, I'm calling
.
I'm like, by the way, I knowyou do a lot of business in the
(10:48):
area, if you happen to go Seethis one don't go show it.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It smells like a dead body I'm like.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
So, push comes to shove, we get in a multiple
offer situation and my clientswant this house.
We did end up winning the bid,but thank God the dead body
didn't kill the deal on me.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Can you imagine?
Right, she was probably pissed.
Actually, she probably thoughtwhat did you smell that?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I didn't.
Well, she asked me.
She goes.
I did an open house thereyesterday.
It smelled fine.
I'm like you didn't open ahouse.
I'm thinking like I'm soconfused.
Right, they're both Darien,whatever.
I think on Saturday I had showntwo houses.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
in the morning I did an open house in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I did two more buyers after that and then Sunday
morning I was like I think itwas St Patrick's Day actually
and I'm like trying to throwmore beef in the crock pot and
then run out, and I'm like youknow, sometimes you make a
mistake, sorry.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So that was a smelly house, so that was a gross one.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
But I know like back in the day when Bart and I were
working together, we used tohave some foreclosures.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
And.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I do remember Bart's, kristen's out today, guys.
So hey, bart, thanks forhelping us out, hey bar no but
we had a foreclosure in oakforest.
He's gonna know exactly whichone I'm talking about.
It was a raised ranch and wewent in and it was garbage wasty
all the real all garbage, likethey had stuff, but even like
the amount of stuff they had, Idon't know how one, how someone
would accumulate that much stuffI think it was literally wasty
(12:04):
well, they were renters orowners that got foreclosed on
because it was a foreclosure wegot and we got the listing
eventually, but we had to hirethe operator to come in.
We didn't physically that onewas way too much that like we
could physically do and actuallyI just thought of one more, do
you remember?
The one in joliet that weshowed to the buyer that was not
in the area because they werelooking in the cathedral
district.
And then they're like there'sthis other one.
I'm like but you looks reallynice on the pictures.
So that's another thing.
(12:25):
Just because the pictures lookgood doesn't mean it's going to
look good.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Oh my God, my client said that today he's literally
said it today and it had bars onthe window.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Well, and conversely, if there's a shitty realtor and
I'm sorry, guys, you're mypeers and I don't want to talk
shit about you but if you,conversely, you can have someone
who takes two shitty, shittypictures and you go there and
you're like the house isbeautiful.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
So when I go there with my buyers.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I'm excited that they do that, because I'm like that
means no one else is looking atit yeah, peeting against less
people's, this is good for us soI always try to talk people
into stuff when the picturesstop like let's just go look at
it anyway, because it could bereally good.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
And they just suck at pictures.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
But we went to that one in joliet and I mean, can I
say this on here, is that?
Is this like dry?
It looked like a trap house,like literally like you walked
in and the stove had like layerof filth and grease and it was.
I mean, it was nasty, andthey're like, oh, it was all
just fixed up or something likethe remarks the agent said I was
like wrong.
So those you know just behonest If I have an investor.
(13:30):
I'll bring them to an investortype property.
But if I have a, buyer that'sgoing to owner occupy.
That's not what they want tosee.
Just be honest, doesn't it pissyou off Like run and?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
roll Friday night, seltzers.
Well, I walked in today, myclient which is an elderly man
and disabled, and we walked upthe stairs and I gotta help him
up the stairs.
We walk in and there's fire andevery single he's like you get
scared, felt like you're in jail.
Yeah, he's like kim with bigold padlocks.
(14:01):
He's like kim, why is there?
Well, I if you don't know, doug, if you don't know, I certainly
you're not supposed to say kind, yeah, but he was that, he was
he was a witness with you.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
He wasn't myself.
I'm like doug, I don't know.
And he's like kim, I don't know.
I certainly don't.
You're not supposed to saykindness, yeah, but he was a
witness with you.
He wasn't the owner.
I'm like dog, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
And he's like Kim.
I don't like it, I'm like let'sgo.
I'm like just hurried up,locked up and we left Meaning.
We looked at the pictures.
They look wonderful.
They didn't have one picture ofthe window on there.
They didn't have one picturethat it was on a busy road,
nothing.
We both pulled up like, oh, Isaid I hate this house.
He said, well, oh, why dopictures?
(14:34):
You know what he said to metoday why do pictures lie?
I said I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
I hope you find Doug a really nice house.
I do too.
He seems like a really nice man, he's such a gimper too.
He just gimps along into thewrong house.
No, I can't date him.
Bart almost did.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
He was at the door before we realized Did you knock
?
I've tried to go in the wronghouse before the key wouldn't
work.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I've done that on condo where I'm banging on doors
and knocking.
So, speaking of condos, I'mlike totally jumping off of that
because we're just gonna gowith the flow tonight.
So one time I was showing itwas me and a lady, a single lady
, I.
I was showing condos and do youremember back in the day when
they did all kinds of condoconversions, they were turning
all these old apartmentbuildings to condos, like that
was the rage 2009.
Yeah, Like six through twelvewas all.
(15:18):
Every apartment building gotconverted to a condo.
People would buy theirapartment building these
investors would, and then theywould subdivide it into
individual units and grant allthe pins.
So there was a lot of thatgoing on.
So we were going to show one.
She wanted to buy a condo andit said it was undergoing
conversion and that all theunits would be empty, like
they're rehabbing and they hadto put sprinklers in.
We go and I'm sure you have thesame story or a very similar
(15:40):
story.
We go and we walk in and we'relike hello, and I'm always like
hello, cause my god, it'ssupposed to be vacant.
No big deal.
We're in the kitchen, we walkaround, we're in the living room
.
We go to open the bedroom doorand there's big, fat, hairy,
naked man.
What was he doing?
Passed out cold in the bed.
I don't, he could have beendead.
I don't know, don't care.
(16:00):
Did not go back Her and Ibolted the hell out of there.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What are you supposed to do, right, I mean?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
condos.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
When you said condos, that made me think of that, I
walked in on somebody smokingcrack.
I think I showed a crack house.
No, me and the client literallywalked downstairs.
They were sitting on bucketssmoking a crack.
I was like oh, excuse me, bye,uh, uh, yeah, uh.
So were they in the cellar orwere they like squatters?
I?
Think they were squatter and itwas a young girl, was my client
(16:27):
and she was looking.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
So I don't think, people.
I don't mean to interrupt youbut I don't think people
understand the danger that weput ourselves in on a daily
basis.
And I mean I got to the pointwhere a lot of times now I won't
meet a new client by myself.
But, like, even if it's justyou and the young girl and you
know each other, you're goinginto a situation.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
It's like the wild west out there.
So you and the girl I'm sorry Iinterrupted, I had to put that.
No, not, it was me and theyoung girls looking for a
two-flat Walk two-flat basement.
Go to the basement, three guyssitting on a bucket sharing a
crack pipe it's always thefreaking basements.
Excuse me, we're out Like itwasn't even like.
Don't even flinch, don't evenskip your buddy.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I had a very we're out.
I had a very similar situation.
I had a sweet little Filipinofamily that I was showing
properties to.
We go in the city it's inChicago somewhere, I don't
remember where it was, whatneighborhood, it doesn't matter.
I suppose we go in and we'rewalking through and, like the
people upstairs, you would thinkthey would know what was going
on in their basement becausethere were people upstairs and
they let you through.
And then I walked downstairsand the downstairs was like a
(17:24):
flop house.
There were people drunk,drugged, passed out, uh, knotted
off all laying over the floor.
We had to walk over the bodiesto get out and get through.
That happened to me a couple oftimes.
I'm like this was probably.
I would say oh eight, oh nineoh I had, maybe not recently,
like a lot of my good storiesare from back then, like I've
got some more recent ones, butyou've been out in the field a
lot longer than me over theyears.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah, I was just looking for an investment
property and went to a thirdsale that I had sold to a client
and I opened the door and therewere four full cats I just
missed my mouth Walking overbodies and you know this shit's
crazy.
Well, that's why it's nineo'clock and we're drunk.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Okay, how many buyers did you work with in the last
two days?
How many buyers did you takeout the last two days?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
six.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I'm exhausted, but I got the pachico.
Spring is wrong, right it's.
It's so busy and you have to beready and on your toes and like
ready to take your clients outat a given moment, like it
doesn't well, and I feel likeand correct me if I are we not
bombarded with the fresh newleads?
Oh my, we're so busy.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I'm not complaining.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
You guys, please keep sending them to us, we will
take care of every single one ofyou.
I am so, so grateful, and it'scrazy.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
It is so fucking busy , Like tomorrow, well you know
I'm going to do an open house.
I'll do an open house, okay,great.
And then they're like no, youdon't have to do the open house.
I'm like, good, I need a dayoff, good no, it's not a day.
How many buyers you fuck?
No, it's.
I got three new buyers.
Oh so, no, no, I'm not off, I'mwell how many times can you say
(19:00):
in one sentence I know, but youknow what here's?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
the other thing is, first of all if we want to take
care of the people that expectus to take care of, we have to
be available and also, we haveto take the business when it
comes.
It does come in waves, nomatter how consistently.
You put yourself out there.
It's not up to us to force ourtimeline on the client.
It's up to us to be availablefor the client when they're
ready for their life change andtheir move.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You bet, and I have no problem accommodating.
I enjoy meeting people.
I enjoy doing it.
Like the crabby old guy saidtoday that I met, he wasn't so
crabby huh, he was not.
He's got a place to sell, he'sgot a place to buy.
He's super.
He was just grateful thatsomebody was helping.
So I, you know, I'm, I'm okaywith it.
(19:41):
It's busy.
Spring market is wrong.
How about haunted houses?
Have you ever shown a hauntedhouse?
I did.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I, you know who was I just telling?
So, you were in the office whenmy client came in the other day
, so I had a client call me thatneeded to move in like two
weeks they were selling theirhouse.
They're like we need to buy aplace.
We have cash.
We need to move in two weeks.
I'm like okay let's go.
I'm like why don't you havesomeone else helping you?
No one else would help us.
Okay, great, I got you showingsbecause you know she's sharing
(20:10):
her stories with me.
But after we wrote the contractthis is when it came up,
because you were sitting therewith me after we wrote contracts
she said I have to ask you aquestion is this house haunted?
Well?
There's not a registry forhaunted houses that I'm aware of
there might be, but you get avibe, like you can tell when
something feels creepy, oh mygosh do you remember that house
in midlothian that I sent youthe pictures of, with the weird
dolls everywhere.
Yeah, we have a group chat and Iwas searching through the MLS
(20:31):
and I'm like why are these weirddolls staring at everybody and
like posing on the chairs?
You know which one I'm talkingabout.
Right, holy, it's been on themarket for like 750.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
That's why Get rid of the dolls, because it's fucking
haunted.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
It probably is haunted that was one.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I walked in that one in Joliet.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
New agent.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Hey, I was like you get a sick feeling and I thought
what happened here?
I leave?
I google the address it is themost haunted home in juliet is
there a registry for that youcan google it?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
well, yeah, google it .
I never googled that before.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
And I google a lot of shit.
I need to know everything,about everything.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
You know, I'm such a nerd like I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I better learn it.
I uh, who the fuck knows?
I was like I'm out of here bye.
How about safety?
Let's?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
talk about safety.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
We should bring barden on this one, because
safety wow, he's got a goodstory.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I'm gonna share his story even though he's over
there.
Maybe we'll let him pipe in ornot.
We have to look up clients tomake sure they have like I and
we'll go in pairs or I just hadsomeone.
So we have like a littleservice where we can look people
up and I looked up this oneclient recently and it came up
like 38 felon.
And then it lists so our likeservice that tells us like you
look up their phone number andstuff, and I'm like, oh well,
sometimes it's like speeding andstuff.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Like it doesn't say felonies.
You'll see 38 criminalinfractions.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
So I'm like, what are they?
Is it a bankruptcy?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Was the bankruptcy, 20 credit out.
Did you blow a red light?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
yeah, is it like speeding somebody's got a lead
foot, I have a lead foot right.
So I'm like, oh, traffic,traffic.
And then I'm like, oh,violating bond, burglary, that
criminal sexual assault,kidnapping, home invasion,
kidnapping, I don't remember.
The list goes on.
I'm like, oh shit, I sold himoff.
I just bring someone with mewho's got their concealed carry
(22:08):
and we're good, but I will sayhe was great, super nice guy.
Well, you would never know thatwhen you meet the client,
you're like this person's.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So I like this person and I'm like, but I can't like
this person, but he was a niceguy, right.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
What does that say about me?
Speaker 1 (22:26):
I'm like I trust everybody.
No, I don't.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
No, but I mean, I'm just thinking of like this did
happen before.
Did you ever show a house thathad a room that wasn't in the
floor plan?
Now we don't have floor plansfor everything but secret rooms.
Have you ever shown a housewith a secret room?
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, pulled out the bookcase.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It was actually in Payless Hill, it was kind of you
know, do you remember the guythat speaking of drug vibe, the
guy that came in our open housein punta gorda?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
oh my god, we were just talking about him, matt,
just matt, matt, you have thelast name just matt, but what
made him stand out the most toyou?
Besides the open shirt and allthe nice hair hanging out right
and he was a tall he had a bigold gold chain with a big old 14
carat gold razor blade hangingup.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Literally I was like this matt, just matt I don't
want the government to know mybusiness I can't imagine why,
matt, he goes go mad.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
You have a phone number.
Nope, you don't have a phone.
Did you know they can track youvia your cell phone?
I was remember.
I was sitting in that chair, Ihad to go poop, I had to take a
shit.
Like get the fuck out of here,Matt.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
We've had some fun over there.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I was 99.9 degrees outside.
The AC wasn't working in thehouse In Florida, remember, the
fucking whack job Was like hey,make sure you got those Shutters
shut.
What Do you remember?
I was cranking the shutters.
There was a button.
No, you weren't cranking.
I was out.
(24:08):
Was cranking the shutters byhand Fuck it, there was a button
.
No, you weren't cranking.
I was out there cranking them.
It was 99 degrees out.
I was like, fuck this, I'm out.
I'm not doing it.
Shut the fuck up, take yourgold chain and stuff it up your
ass.
I'm out.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Fuck this oh my God, oh wow.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
These are some pretty good prompts.
This is just in the last sixmonths.
We haven't even gotten back towhere when we started.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Oh my, god, for what the recent stuff?
Who were your most difficult ornightmare clients?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Okay, let me just tell you this, because you'll
appreciate this.
So, someone that you guys werein business with prior oh god,
here we go.
We had a deal.
Oh my god, it's so bad.
I don't even anyway meet thislion tells me, google my name.
That's all you need to know.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I had one of those.
He never ended up buying thehouse.
I go what?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Just Google my name, you'll know who I am?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
shoulder Bob, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
I was like, all right , I go home, google his name.
I start laughing.
I'm like he beat up the thirdbaseman on the Kansas City
Royals.
I go home, google his name.
I start laughing.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I'm like he beat up the third basement on the Kansas
City Royals, I go what?
All right, it's a sock fan,right?
Totally yeah, I remember thisstory.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
But I didn't know you had him as a client.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
He's my client.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
So I go okay.
So anyway, searched with him,meet his family, super nice guy,
loved him until I knew therewasn't, until we closed on the
house Right closing on a Friday.
So you know that means youclose but you can't find the key
.
He goes and moves in becausethe listing agent never locked
the door and never passed along.
(25:39):
They didn't have any keys.
It was an elderly client.
Long story short the clientmoves in.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I don't get that Like people leave the door open.
I got another story about thatshortly Client moves in Total
nightmare.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Client moves in on a Friday night, saturday night,
the plumbing backs off, all intothe house, literally shit.
Shit Calls me and says I'm notpaying this.
I go, you owe the title company$1,600.
She's like I'm not paying this,get it from the seller.
I call your friend, the listingagent, and I said my client's
(26:09):
not leaving.
Your client has to pay mine$1,600.
I'm like my client isn't paying.
I go, your client ain't leaving.
They call the police.
Police says no, he's alreadymoved in.
He owns the house.
Here's title Because he closed.
He had a dry closing.
Why are you getting him out?
You're not, you're not, you'renot.
Big fight at the title companyMonday morning because he owes
the money, which is right.
(26:30):
Though the seller's sidedecided to show up, they
couldn't show up for closing,which I got.
Big blowout.
And here's me.
What do you want then?
Which I thought was okay.
I thought me and him were good.
He lost his marbles on me.
I'm like what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
What happened?
Just pissed because I was.
Well obviously he has a temperbecause he beat up third baseman
from the royals.
So yeah, it was the first oh,was it the first basement was
the first basement you wouldknow it was a nightmare no,
there are some difficult clientsout there.
I've seen some recently.
Yeah, yeah they want to yell atyou or blame you oh, didn't you
just have one blow your faceoff figuratively, not literally.
(27:09):
Yeah, I mean, we become theemotional punching bag for a lot
of people a lot of people.
I get it like this is the mostemotional, stressful time of
someone's life buying or sellinga house and we're trying to
make it as painless as possible,but when there's problems with
the house, we can't control thatlike we don't.
We don't have, um, I don't know, magic wand where I can wave it
, make your house not have theissues that it has like you're
(27:32):
not and we're doing the best wecan but also buyers are
unrealistic.
Buyers think they're getting newconstruction, which even new
construction isn't perfect.
No, and they were like pickingnitpick.
I'm like you know, quit pickingyou're getting a house.
Owning a home, while it's agreat opportunity to build
wealth and enjoy and have yourfamily, it also requires upkeep
and maintenance and fixing thewear and tear and all the things
(27:55):
that happen.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
That's life.
Life's hard and I always feellike when you go into buying a
home, unless you're buying newconstruction, you're buying an
older home Like it just like.
I can't guarantee it, thesellers can't guarantee it.
We just have to work with whatwe have.
Unless you spec it out andbuild it out, we're not going
(28:16):
into a new home.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
You've had some crazy deals blow up at the uh before
closing too, like you had onerecently because because of bad
age, I can't even remember Iwill.
I I'll let you share somestories, but I will tell you
there's been some times where Itell my clients, like if we're
in a multiple offer situationand we have three or four
different offers that are allthe same and there's one
particular agent that I know isdifficult to work with, always
causes, I will tell my clientthat I'm not blackballing them.
(28:40):
But I'm going to tell them, likethis agent I've worked with and
they're amicable and they'refriendly and they'll they'll
work with us to resolve anyissues that come up, because the
job is not to like.
Dig our heels in.
Yes, we advocate in ourfiduciary for our clients but
our job is not to see how muchwe can bully each other.
This is not a boxing ring.
It's not a boxing ring.
(29:00):
This is about getting to aresolution that makes both
parties happy at the end, and soI've had a suck ass to some
people that I don't really like.
I like everybody, but no.
I mean there's times where Iwant to blow up on someone and
I'm like just bite your tongue.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
This is about your client.
This is about your client.
This is about your client, andyou know me.
I like to say what's on my mind.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yeah, Not as much as my husband.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I ever tell you about the time speaking of what
saying?
What's on mind?
That he threatened to throw aclient in the trunk and take him
down to the Kelsag.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
No, the Kelsa Stinky.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Kelsa.
You know what the Kelsag isknown for, right?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I do.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
A hiding body?
Yes, it's like where the mobhides the bodies.
Yeah, like cement shoes, throwyou in a Kelsag.
Because it's the sanitary canal, Like you don't swim.
Its first barges and ships togo back and forth.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
So we had a client that came into the office.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Oh and the client told me this too.
Let me tell you that.
So the client comes in, hetakes the client, shows him some
condos.
Oh, by the way, he found outafter the fact too, or some some
point throughout thetransaction, that this guy was
also a registered sex offender.
Great, yeah, great.
And I can't say his name.
But he was like, oh, my God andBart tells the story so much
better than I do but no,whatever.
(30:09):
So he took them out, showedthem condos, whatever he was
going to write a contract, andat the time the lender was
in-house too, so they were intheir same office, so it was an
in-house lender.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
And apparently the client tried to go around Bart
and call the listing agentdirectly to buy.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
I know you showed this a couple of times and the
lender's in our office too,right, so we're she.
She's like, hey, your clienttried to call me directly.
So bart calls the client up.
He's like so, and so he's likeprobably say first names don't
matter, right, kenny, kenny.
He's like hey, kenny.
He's like yeah, yeah, uh, doyou want to go see that condo
again?
And he's like, yeah, yeah,let's go see it.
So he takes him there.
And at the time bart had one ofthose big ass Tauruses you know
(30:45):
, like the police car cruiserTauruses big giant trunk.
So he comes flying up to Kenny,flips the trunk open and walks
over and he just looks at him.
Hey, kenny goes.
You see that trunk right there.
And he's like, yeah, yeah, bart, he goes.
Did you call a listing agent?
He goes if you ever try to cutme out of a deal, I'm going to
take your ass, throw you in thetrunk, take you down to God,
(31:06):
shut the hell off.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
This is why Bart's not a direct buyer anymore.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
So they come back to the office.
So now I'm in the office, likeI'm office manager at this time
at this particular company, atthis time I think you may have
worked there at the time.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah, I probably did.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I'm just walking around the hallway with all the
glass windows and everything andthen Bart comes walking by and
the lender must have said oh,there's the manager, that's
Bart's wife, or whatever.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
So this guy.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Short little creepy looking guy.
Yeah, sex offender thingprobably makes sense, right,
comes running over and goesyou're.
Bart's wife and I said, yeah,he goes your husband said he was
going to throw me in the trunkand take me out of the Kelsag.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
I'm sorry, I won't do it again.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Do you cause him a condo?
No, no, it gets better.
The day before closing, stupidfucker goes out and buys a truck
.
Fuck, no, yeah.
So bart calls him up, he goes.
Hey, kenny, I heard you got anew truck day before closing
because the lender is the onethat told us right, he goes.
I heard you got a new truck hegoes.
Yeah, he goes.
How do you like that new truckhe goes?
Oh, I love it, he goes.
I hope you love it enough to besleeping and living in it,
(32:02):
because you're not going toqualify anywhere, you dumbass.
I told you not to buy anythingno, he didn't qualify after that
of course not, and he he wasvery.
What a dumb ass too.
Like I.
I don't usually call clientsdumb ass, but like this guy who
obviously was a creep right, youdon't have very many places.
You're allowed to live as aregistered sex offender because
you can't be by a school, youcan't be a board, and I mean,
would bart have probably turnedhim down as a client earlier if
(32:23):
he knew?
Maybe, but he didn't know untilpartway through the transaction
so that was an interestingstory.
So we always like to say thatyou know, you don't mess with
barb, because they'll take youdown with a kilt zag?
Speaker 1 (32:34):
No, it won't.
That's a good one, no it won't.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
It smells.
It is a smelly.
It smells like the dead bodynow Any other weird or crazy
stories you want to share, as wekind of wind things down, I
mean, we got stories for days,yeah, we should do this like
once a month.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Just kind of have some seltzers or maybe some wine
and cheese.
Yeah, it was good to substitutethis because we wanted to talk
about teams, but Kristen had toescape because there was no, not
golf ball size baseball sizehail that was at her house, so
she had to go take off.
And Kristen's a good one to knowabout teams, yeah so we'll get
to talk to her and we'll breakher in on that.
So I talked about the nakedseller.
(33:10):
You talked about the finalwalkthrough from hell Appraisals
coming in.
I had an appraisal come in$140,000 low.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
What?
No, I've never been there.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
The buyer was going to give more money and I'm like
no, no, no no.
Hold on lesson in sellers.
You should absolutely watch whoyou hire as your listing agent,
because they just hired someguy that just put them in the
MLS and that didn't reallynegotiate or advocate for them.
They just thought that all youneed is exposure because my
client would have paid at least$40,000 more in cash brought to
the table because it was a twounit.
(33:41):
And so the client's like, oh,I'll just you know, I have
$40,000.
Do you think they would comedown, was it?
Did I say it was 120 low, 120low.
It was 120 low and they're like, well, we can bring 40 more in
cash.
So do you think they'll comedown 80?
I know that's a lot and I'mlike no, no, no, hold on.
Guess what they came down to.
Appraised value for that one,but it was because I knew how to
negotiate and they didn't, sothat's a good one.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Oh, do ever have a dead body.
You know I did in florida.
I had one in florida andactually it was a personal.
I just got my license there andI it was a house that popped on
the market duper, dirt, cheapcalled the agent like go show it
the body wasn't there when youshowed it.
No, he died.
Well, here was the thing thethe owner passed away and had no
family there and Aww, and bythe time they found it it was a
(34:30):
month later and he had moltedinto the floor.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
That's probably what that house that I smelled was.
Yeah, same situation.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
So that's why it was $200,000 cheaper you know Did
your client clean it up.
We passed.
Oh, you know, I'll see youlater.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
So I actually had a listing that I'm certain.
I don't know for certain, butI'm certain Like when I got
there to list it Bart's smilingin the background, he knows what
I'm talking about the tub wasstill filled with water.
What I wasn't sticking my handin that drain and emptying that
out.
I sold it full of water.
What I made.
(35:06):
The inspector mind't have anyevidence of it, but you know
when you know you know.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, you know, you know you know, hell, no, oh hell
, no.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Sold it just like that.
Sold fast too.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
It sold in like a week you know what's so crazy to
me, all these wacky stories.
I mean people don't evenrealize.
I mean it's like shit.
I could sit here for hours andknow you suck.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I think we'll like every you know so many episodes.
We'll just have like a Fridaynight.
Yeah, unwind, what happened to?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
you.
This week it was.
This has been a crazy week forme.
I mean, it's Friday night andI'm like what Well we're here.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Having fun?
Yeah, drinking, sharing stories.
Hopefully you enjoy some ofthem.
Love it, alright.
So what else?
Any final thoughts you have?
Recap the craziness?
No, I liked this week.
Yeah, it was good, it wasrelaxing.
It was In a crazy way.
Any animals?
Have you read any animalstories?
No, I had a dog fighting ringin a house.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
At what?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
And with live dogs in it, and I dropped an F-bomb in
front of a little girl.
I mean I didn't.
So we go and sweet lady, and Ithink it was her mom and her
daughter, and the little girlwas like six or seven years old,
yep.
And so we go in and it'ssupposed to be a vacant house
and all of a sudden and I lovepit bulls, right.
(36:21):
So it's not about pit bulls, itwas just that they were fighting
dogs All of a sudden into thehouse where we're already in and
I yell oh fuck and I'm like ohwell, the club, they decided not
to work with me.
Obviously I did it twice.
Oh, there were two dogs.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Bart's saying there were two dogs and, like we both
did, the dogs belong to thehouse.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
I don't know, I just called the agent.
We left.
I'm like there's doctors.
He's like there's no dogs inthere.
I'm like listen, mfr, I'mtelling you I did not imagine
the dogs that came runningtowards us, that were in the
house and I love dogs but thesedogs were ready to eat someone,
literally, literally ready toeat someone.
So that came through.
That was fun.
How about snakes or?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
oh my god, oh yes, yes, yes, so probably five years
ago I see me and my littlecouple at first time home buyers
Chicago Ridge Go in.
Oh my God, super cute, kim, welove it.
Whatever, walk outside, goaround the back, I go.
Oh, there's a, there's a coupleof dead snake skins.
I'm like I've lived here mywhole life.
(37:19):
I've seen probably 10 snakes myentire life.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
You don't see much snakes, not like when we kids no
I'm like, well, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
So I'm looking, I'm like, oh, there's a garter snake
, oh, there's another one.
I'm like, oh, what?
Maybe just whatever we go backaround to the front and it had
siding on it they were crackedand so there were snakes
slithering up the door frame.
we run me and the girl client orrun go to the thing to to the
(37:48):
sidewalk and I call the agent.
She's like I don't know whatyou're talking about.
I'm like there's a bunch ofsnakes here.
She's like let me call theagent or let me call the seller.
Calls the seller, the sellergoes.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Oh yeah, there are snakes everywhere.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
They keep the rodents out.
Oh, they liked the snakes, theywere all invested in the house,
all infested in the house.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Oh, so you'd rather have snakes than rodents?
How about?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
neither.
That's what I said.
How about neither?
Speaker 2 (38:10):
I take neither.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Literally, I've never seen anything, Neither for a
thousand Alex.
Literally they're this big,this big garter snake.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
And I don't mind snakes, but I don't want them
infesting in my house Once, likethat's the thing, I don't mind
it.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Once you're infested with them, they follow like the
whatever.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
The master whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Yeah, If they're underground they will always
come back there.
You have to continuously treatthem?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Did they burn the house to the ground?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I would have burned it down, fucking, bulldozed it
On fire.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
It was right by Chicago's mall, it's the
weirdest, weirdest thingTermites we thing termites we
both had some termites.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
You just showed one.
That was so weird.
I'm glad that guy didn't buythat house.
Me too, me too was infestedturn garage.
And once they're in the garage,like like the inspector said,
he's like, yeah, you know,sometimes they migrate.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Well, yeah, because they follow I think if it's
treated properly and it's doneproperly, it's fine, you're fine
and I think people freak outabout things because, like we
used to have an office inCalifornia and on the coast like
California, and then even onthe east coast like Georgia,
florida, they get it because ofthe dampness right and so they
tent the houses and they treatthem and they move on and they
call it a day, but it's whenpeople don't treat things, yep,
(39:20):
and then they just get worse.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
People don't realize if you don't treat and you don
street, you know and they ruinand take over the house that I
had the other day was everywherewe looked, there were tunnels
everywhere.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Yeah well, I want to thank everybody for spending
their friday night with us.
You're probably watching thison a monday afternoon or a
tuesday afternoon, but for us itwas friday night and, uh, it
was a long week.
Uh, I haven't had a day off inthree weeks.
I don't think neither becauseit's spring market and, uh, we
love helping our buyers andsellers, so we want to invite
you to tune in, subscribe, likeyou can watch us on YouTube,
(39:54):
spotify, apple, amazon.
We're all over iHeart Radio Doepic shit.
We love you and keep the likescoming and keep tuning in.
Thanks, bye-bye.
It smelled really bad in there.
I said it smelled like a deadbody, did something die in this
house, like I'm detailed with myfeedback Friday night.
Woohoo, it's Friday night,seltzers are flowing Filter's
gone.
Welcome to Do.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Epic Shit.
I'm Colleen Bosinski, I'm KimNeal, and we are here to share
with you.
Oh, tonight's gonna to be a funone.
Tonight we're spilling tea, sothese are going to be the war
story, the mishaps, the hauntedhouses, the naked cellars, the
time someone brought a goat tothe office.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It's all happening tonight.
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
If you're a client, don't worry.
We changed the names to protectthe ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
You bet but buckle up .
Speaker 2 (00:45):
It's not your mama's market update.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
This will be a good one.
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So this is real estate after dark.
Yep and drunk, Grab your drink,mute your kids and let's get
into the chaos.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Alright, so should we hear some drinking game rules
tonight?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, let's do it.
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
So take so take a sip every time someone mentions
haunted house.
Okay, a deal blew up oversomething ridiculous.
We hammered Co-op agents onnecessary drama.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Drama agents.
They're in the wrong agency.
You hear the word inspectionnightmare Yep Final walkthrough
disaster.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Someone admits they cried at a closing Yep.
That would be me.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
And if you say the words.
I wish I was kidding out loud,because I tell you we are going
to share some fun, fun storiestonight.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Let's do it.
Are you ready to dig in?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
yeah, let's go, let's do some epic shit story tonight
.
All right, kim, let's diveright in.
Okay, what's the grossest houseyou've ever shown yesterday?
Oh one.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
One bump was yesterday, walked through the
breezeway and it's connected tothe garage green room.
Beautiful overlooks the lakeand there is mashed fruit and
tomatoes as soon as we walk in.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Well, I mean, it wasn't poop.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Well, I was getting to that.
Okay, I was getting to that.
Leave it to me to interrupt you.
So we go through and wespecifically ask this is
terrible.
Can you please clean up the dogpoop in the closet in the base?
like a dog had an accident thereor no?
Like the dog, they kept in thebasement and had a piece of
(02:17):
linoleum on cement workroom andthe dog just pissed and shit
there.
They picked it up, put it in abag and threw it in the closet.
What I didn't tell you thisstory, no, it was my house from
yesterday.
Oh shit, literally.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So specifically in our attorney review we said
place has to be cleaned,especially the closet in the
basement did the attorney saylike the needs to be cleaned out
of the closet in the basementor they were like kind of you
know parenthesis, the feces inthe basement because it's like a
foreclosure or like a rockbottom price or what was the
(02:57):
deal?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
no, not at all.
It was just average sellers.
What was the sale price?
Almost $600,000.
Beautiful area overlooked apond private pond but it was
absolutely disgusting.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
So how do you handle that situation when you're so
obviously the attorney reviewletter?
You talked about it.
You went back for thewalkthrough.
Was it cleaned up?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
No, well, I will say this it wasn't as bad.
Your facial expressions tellthe whole story it was not as
bad as when we saw it.
There was leftover shit there.
Literally you can't geteverything, maybe, but to leave
bag of dog shits for somebodyelse to clean up who keeps dog
shit in their house.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
These sellers, psa homeowners.
Don't.
Keep bags of dog shit in yourhouse.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Throw them out take, take it out to the camp.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
It's not that hard.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Like a couple of steps right.
It was god awful I was at thiswalkthrough for three hours.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I find a walkthrough is supposed to be like 15
minutes, 15 minutes, but here'sthe worst part, like, okay, it
is what it is.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
People do stupid shit .
My clean could be differentfrom your clean, right yeah, but
my poor client was in tearsFalling her eyes out, falling
her eyes out.
So what do you do in that case?
All you can do is console them,offer them.
I'm sitting there as she'swalking through.
I'm looking on Angie's list Bum, tech, all these places to get
her a cleaner in there, becauseshe had to.
(04:17):
She was moving in the next day,so you do what you do.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
So how did you resolve the situation, like,
what did you end up doing?
Because I'd like to hear ifthere was a happy ending.
There was a happy ending, whichwas great.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
The sellers decided to compensate, which was
wonderful.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
How much encouragement did they get from
your side to compensate?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Here was the bottom line we weren't going to closing
until it was resolved and theagent actually was great on that
side.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Well, I think his agents too.
You know, there's good agents,bad agents, and there's good
clients and bad clients.
Yeah.
Sometimes the agents don't haveany control over some of the
crazy shit clients do and youknow what.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
This was the case because he was great.
I just don't don't think hissellers cared.
We were moving out of state.
It was fine, we loaded up themoving truck.
Even though the moving truckpulled in and blew out the whole
mailbox mailbox was down.
But I mean, we're packing upreliever, we're moving on a safe
unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
So you were able to resolve the situation and get
them a good outcome, butunfortunately, with the way the
market is now, the inventoryshortage.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
It's not like they could just go find another house
, so no, you had to rally for aresolution.
So it was to you, girl yeah,thankfully it worked out, but it
was stressful.
You talk about not sleeping youearned your money on that one.
I did earn every dime on thatone.
But when I was leaving theclosing she texted me and said
kim, I can't thank you enough.
I will refer you to everybody.
(05:40):
Your graciousness and yourkindness was more than we could
have expected like.
It was very heartfelt andwarming but I mean, we've talked
about this before on otherepisodes, where I talk about,
like, how your kindness comesthrough and how he's like you
always go the extra mile forclients absolutely, you took a
bad situation and made it intosomething that was palatable for
some people and I think too, asyou get through this and as you
(06:02):
count down the years thatyou're in the business, you
learn to deal with like tryingnot to make like before.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Five years ago I'd be like oh my god I can't, well,
you can't, you just can't dothat you can't blow off the
other agent's head you can'tlike because you have to have to
play nice in the sandbox thesandbox is small and there's a
lot of shit rolling around in itand I feel like we will run
into each other again at somepoint.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
you know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
It's the people that are doing business, that those
are the ones you run across allthe time.
And there's I mean there's alot of licensees out there but
not a lot of people actuallydoing business, so you have to
play nice in the sandbox.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yeah, so it was interesting, so I have one.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I didn't sell the house that I had a gross house.
I mean, I've had a lot.
I won't say a lot, but I'vebeen through a few gross houses
in my career and some of them,you know, the client just can't
help like.
So I I've had one recentlywhere the seller was like I'm so
sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sosorry, and it's a situation
where they had tenants in thehouse and they destroyed the
house and it was disgusting andshe felt bad and I said it's not
your fault, like this is notyour fault, you evicted the
tenants.
This is the situation we have,don't worry we'll get it sold.
Then we sold it.
We had I don't know sevenoffers in before it even went
(07:09):
live on the market so if youprice things appropriately for
the condition and what's goingon, that happens.
But I will tell you a funnystory I have.
So I was scheduled to show atown home.
I think it was in Deverville orDarien.
I'll ask somewhere, i'tremember.
I go to show the house and Imeet the client for the first
time.
It's a new lead, right, so I'msuper excited to meet them and,
you know, had them sign thetouring agreement, agency
(07:30):
agreement, because we have tohave them sign something now
before we can open the door.
And, you know, give them mypacket my fancy packet the flyer
and all the information and Iopen the door and the smell was
so p like the subfloor in thekitchen and it's a two-story
townhome and like we'reliterally, and the clients, you
(07:50):
know, you don't know how to act.
You're meeting clients for thefirst time after they've just
signed an agency agreement withyou or whatever, and you know,
I'm like I'm really sorrybecause I didn't know.
Obviously that's why it waspriced where it was, but it was
still not cheap.
It's like three, three hundredyeah, it's a little townhome,
right two bedroom townhome, andwe go through and it's like it,
the smell is just overpoweringand there wasn't like filth and
(08:11):
garbage in there, but it was sobad and the clients looked at me
and there was a little bit of alanguage barrier, like I could
kind of you know.
I don't know what nationalitythey were, but english wasn't
their first language, so I'mtrying to communicate to them
too and they're like, yeah, I'mlike, yeah, it stinks.
And they said, oh, my god, itsmells like dead body in here.
They're like, yes, it was soover and not that I know what a
dead body smells like, but if Iimagine what a dead body smells
(08:33):
like, that's what it would havesmelled like.
Oh, but it gets better.
Wait till you hear what I didon this one.
This is not even the good partyet.
So we leave, we close upwhatever and the bedroom, one of
the bedrooms, like all thecarpet, whatever kind of floor
they had, and was all ripped out, and so it's just the subfloor,
but you can see a big stainbecause it was a dead body
probably was so I leave theshowing it was darien.
I know it was darien becausethen the next day I have so this
(08:55):
is about like a three hundredthousand dollar buyer.
The next day I have buyers thatI've been working with and I'm
showing a lot of property to andthey're looking in lamont and
darien and some of the otherareas around there and I skip
and a house comes up and they'relike oh, kylie, can we see this
one?
So I get Sunday, so that wasSaturday afternoon, I showed
that one.
So Saturday night they text me.
They're like can we see thisone?
I'm like, let me see if I canget it scheduled for tomorrow.
What time?
One o'clock.
So I get it scheduled for oneo'clock At like noon, 11 o'clock
(09:18):
or noon.
You know you get the automaticrequest for feedback.
So, yes, I did.
The one that I was showing at 1o'clock was like $650,000.
Beautiful two-story home.
I haven't showed it yet At noonI, oh, you know, sorry, this
wasn't the house for them.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
It smelled really bad in there.
It almost smelled no, I said itsmelled like a dead body.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Did something die in this house.
Like I'm detailed with myfeedback, no.
Okay, so go to the show and atone o'clock with my other
clients, right, we walk in therelike, oh my gosh, this is the
one.
This house is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
We're there.
They have their brand new baby,we're walking around.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
It's like I remember we're there a good 35 minutes.
I'm like, and you know, theyknow how fast the market is and
how things are priced, and theywant to.
So I'm like they're like askingme questions.
I'm like let me text thelisting agent while we're still
in the house.
And I'm like blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
She's like, well, you'll haveto text the co-lister, but
didn't you say the house smelledlike a dead body?
No, you did.
I gave you back the wrong,freaking house.
(10:24):
So now I have to recover, right, because my clients love this
house and they want this house.
I was dying.
I was literally dying.
I'm like I've insulted them.
That feedback's going to goright to the sellers, the system
depending Now like I have itset up online so I can filter it
and then send it, because younever know if someone makes a
mistake or they whatever.
I don't know if she has it setup to filter.
Some have it go automatic.
So anyway, I'm like, I'm on thephone, I'm texting, I'm calling
.
I'm like, by the way, I knowyou do a lot of business in the
(10:48):
area, if you happen to go Seethis one don't go show it.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It smells like a dead body I'm like.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
So, push comes to shove, we get in a multiple
offer situation and my clientswant this house.
We did end up winning the bid,but thank God the dead body
didn't kill the deal on me.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Can you imagine?
Right, she was probably pissed.
Actually, she probably thoughtwhat did you smell that?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I didn't.
Well, she asked me.
She goes.
I did an open house thereyesterday.
It smelled fine.
I'm like you didn't open ahouse.
I'm thinking like I'm soconfused.
Right, they're both Darien,whatever.
I think on Saturday I had showntwo houses.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
in the morning I did an open house in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I did two more buyers after that and then Sunday
morning I was like I think itwas St Patrick's Day actually
and I'm like trying to throwmore beef in the crock pot and
then run out, and I'm like youknow, sometimes you make a
mistake, sorry.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So that was a smelly house, so that was a gross one.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
But I know like back in the day when Bart and I were
working together, we used tohave some foreclosures.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
And.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I do remember Bart's, kristen's out today, guys.
So hey, bart, thanks forhelping us out, hey bar no but
we had a foreclosure in oakforest.
He's gonna know exactly whichone I'm talking about.
It was a raised ranch and wewent in and it was garbage wasty
all the real all garbage, likethey had stuff, but even like
the amount of stuff they had, Idon't know how one, how someone
would accumulate that much stuffI think it was literally wasty
(12:04):
well, they were renters orowners that got foreclosed on
because it was a foreclosure wegot and we got the listing
eventually, but we had to hirethe operator to come in.
We didn't physically that onewas way too much that like we
could physically do and actuallyI just thought of one more, do
you remember?
The one in joliet that weshowed to the buyer that was not
in the area because they werelooking in the cathedral
district.
And then they're like there'sthis other one.
I'm like but you looks reallynice on the pictures.
So that's another thing.
(12:25):
Just because the pictures lookgood doesn't mean it's going to
look good.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Oh my God, my client said that today he's literally
said it today and it had bars onthe window.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Well, and conversely, if there's a shitty realtor and
I'm sorry, guys, you're mypeers and I don't want to talk
shit about you but if you,conversely, you can have someone
who takes two shitty, shittypictures and you go there and
you're like the house isbeautiful.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
So when I go there with my buyers.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I'm excited that they do that, because I'm like that
means no one else is looking atit yeah, peeting against less
people's, this is good for us soI always try to talk people
into stuff when the picturesstop like let's just go look at
it anyway, because it could bereally good.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
And they just suck at pictures.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
But we went to that one in joliet and I mean, can I
say this on here, is that?
Is this like dry?
It looked like a trap house,like literally like you walked
in and the stove had like layerof filth and grease and it was.
I mean, it was nasty, andthey're like, oh, it was all
just fixed up or something likethe remarks the agent said I was
like wrong.
So those you know just behonest If I have an investor.
(13:30):
I'll bring them to an investortype property.
But if I have a, buyer that'sgoing to owner occupy.
That's not what they want tosee.
Just be honest, doesn't it pissyou off Like run and?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
roll Friday night, seltzers.
Well, I walked in today, myclient which is an elderly man
and disabled, and we walked upthe stairs and I gotta help him
up the stairs.
We walk in and there's fire andevery single he's like you get
scared, felt like you're in jail.
Yeah, he's like kim with bigold padlocks.
(14:01):
He's like kim, why is there?
Well, I if you don't know, doug, if you don't know, I certainly
you're not supposed to say kind, yeah, but he was that, he was
he was a witness with you.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
He wasn't myself.
I'm like doug, I don't know.
And he's like kim, I don't know.
I certainly don't.
You're not supposed to saykindness, yeah, but he was a
witness with you.
He wasn't the owner.
I'm like dog, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
And he's like Kim.
I don't like it, I'm like let'sgo.
I'm like just hurried up,locked up and we left Meaning.
We looked at the pictures.
They look wonderful.
They didn't have one picture ofthe window on there.
They didn't have one picturethat it was on a busy road,
nothing.
We both pulled up like, oh, Isaid I hate this house.
He said, well, oh, why dopictures?
(14:34):
You know what he said to metoday why do pictures lie?
I said I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
I hope you find Doug a really nice house.
I do too.
He seems like a really nice man, he's such a gimper too.
He just gimps along into thewrong house.
No, I can't date him.
Bart almost did.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
He was at the door before we realized Did you knock
?
I've tried to go in the wronghouse before the key wouldn't
work.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I've done that on condo where I'm banging on doors
and knocking.
So, speaking of condos, I'mlike totally jumping off of that
because we're just gonna gowith the flow tonight.
So one time I was showing itwas me and a lady, a single lady
, I.
I was showing condos and do youremember back in the day when
they did all kinds of condoconversions, they were turning
all these old apartmentbuildings to condos, like that
was the rage 2009.
Yeah, Like six through twelvewas all.
(15:18):
Every apartment building gotconverted to a condo.
People would buy theirapartment building these
investors would, and then theywould subdivide it into
individual units and grant allthe pins.
So there was a lot of thatgoing on.
So we were going to show one.
She wanted to buy a condo andit said it was undergoing
conversion and that all theunits would be empty, like
they're rehabbing and they hadto put sprinklers in.
We go and I'm sure you have thesame story or a very similar
(15:40):
story.
We go and we walk in and we'relike hello, and I'm always like
hello, cause my god, it'ssupposed to be vacant.
No big deal.
We're in the kitchen, we walkaround, we're in the living room
.
We go to open the bedroom doorand there's big, fat, hairy,
naked man.
What was he doing?
Passed out cold in the bed.
I don't, he could have beendead.
I don't know, don't care.
(16:00):
Did not go back Her and Ibolted the hell out of there.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What are you supposed to do, right, I mean?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
condos.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
When you said condos, that made me think of that, I
walked in on somebody smokingcrack.
I think I showed a crack house.
No, me and the client literallywalked downstairs.
They were sitting on bucketssmoking a crack.
I was like oh, excuse me, bye,uh, uh, yeah, uh.
So were they in the cellar orwere they like squatters?
I?
Think they were squatter and itwas a young girl, was my client
(16:27):
and she was looking.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
So I don't think, people.
I don't mean to interrupt youbut I don't think people
understand the danger that weput ourselves in on a daily
basis.
And I mean I got to the pointwhere a lot of times now I won't
meet a new client by myself.
But, like, even if it's justyou and the young girl and you
know each other, you're goinginto a situation.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
It's like the wild west out there.
So you and the girl I'm sorry Iinterrupted, I had to put that.
No, not, it was me and theyoung girls looking for a
two-flat Walk two-flat basement.
Go to the basement, three guyssitting on a bucket sharing a
crack pipe it's always thefreaking basements.
Excuse me, we're out Like itwasn't even like.
Don't even flinch, don't evenskip your buddy.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I had a very we're out.
I had a very similar situation.
I had a sweet little Filipinofamily that I was showing
properties to.
We go in the city it's inChicago somewhere, I don't
remember where it was, whatneighborhood, it doesn't matter.
I suppose we go in and we'rewalking through and, like the
people upstairs, you would thinkthey would know what was going
on in their basement becausethere were people upstairs and
they let you through.
And then I walked downstairsand the downstairs was like a
(17:24):
flop house.
There were people drunk,drugged, passed out, uh, knotted
off all laying over the floor.
We had to walk over the bodiesto get out and get through.
That happened to me a couple oftimes.
I'm like this was probably.
I would say oh eight, oh nineoh I had, maybe not recently,
like a lot of my good storiesare from back then, like I've
got some more recent ones, butyou've been out in the field a
lot longer than me over theyears.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah, I was just looking for an investment
property and went to a thirdsale that I had sold to a client
and I opened the door and therewere four full cats I just
missed my mouth Walking overbodies and you know this shit's
crazy.
Well, that's why it's nineo'clock and we're drunk.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Okay, how many buyers did you work with in the last
two days?
How many buyers did you takeout the last two days?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
six.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I'm exhausted, but I got the pachico.
Spring is wrong, right it's.
It's so busy and you have to beready and on your toes and like
ready to take your clients outat a given moment, like it
doesn't well, and I feel likeand correct me if I are we not
bombarded with the fresh newleads?
Oh my, we're so busy.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I'm not complaining.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
You guys, please keep sending them to us, we will
take care of every single one ofyou.
I am so, so grateful, and it'scrazy.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
It is so fucking busy , Like tomorrow, well you know
I'm going to do an open house.
I'll do an open house, okay,great.
And then they're like no, youdon't have to do the open house.
I'm like, good, I need a dayoff, good no, it's not a day.
How many buyers you fuck?
No, it's.
I got three new buyers.
Oh so, no, no, I'm not off, I'mwell how many times can you say
(19:00):
in one sentence I know, but youknow what here's?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
the other thing is, first of all if we want to take
care of the people that expectus to take care of, we have to
be available and also, we haveto take the business when it
comes.
It does come in waves, nomatter how consistently.
You put yourself out there.
It's not up to us to force ourtimeline on the client.
It's up to us to be availablefor the client when they're
ready for their life change andtheir move.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You bet, and I have no problem accommodating.
I enjoy meeting people.
I enjoy doing it.
Like the crabby old guy saidtoday that I met, he wasn't so
crabby huh, he was not.
He's got a place to sell, he'sgot a place to buy.
He's super.
He was just grateful thatsomebody was helping.
So I, you know, I'm, I'm okaywith it.
(19:41):
It's busy.
Spring market is wrong.
How about haunted houses?
Have you ever shown a hauntedhouse?
I did.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I, you know who was I just telling?
So, you were in the office whenmy client came in the other day
, so I had a client call me thatneeded to move in like two
weeks they were selling theirhouse.
They're like we need to buy aplace.
We have cash.
We need to move in two weeks.
I'm like okay let's go.
I'm like why don't you havesomeone else helping you?
No one else would help us.
Okay, great, I got you showingsbecause you know she's sharing
(20:10):
her stories with me.
But after we wrote the contractthis is when it came up,
because you were sitting therewith me after we wrote contracts
she said I have to ask you aquestion is this house haunted?
Well?
There's not a registry forhaunted houses that I'm aware of
there might be, but you get avibe, like you can tell when
something feels creepy, oh mygosh do you remember that house
in midlothian that I sent youthe pictures of, with the weird
dolls everywhere.
Yeah, we have a group chat and Iwas searching through the MLS
(20:31):
and I'm like why are these weirddolls staring at everybody and
like posing on the chairs?
You know which one I'm talkingabout.
Right, holy, it's been on themarket for like 750.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
That's why Get rid of the dolls, because it's fucking
haunted.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
It probably is haunted that was one.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I walked in that one in Joliet.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
New agent.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Hey, I was like you get a sick feeling and I thought
what happened here?
I leave?
I google the address it is themost haunted home in juliet is
there a registry for that youcan google it?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
well, yeah, google it .
I never googled that before.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
And I google a lot of shit.
I need to know everything,about everything.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
You know, I'm such a nerd like I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I better learn it.
I uh, who the fuck knows?
I was like I'm out of here bye.
How about safety?
Let's?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
talk about safety.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
We should bring barden on this one, because
safety wow, he's got a goodstory.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I'm gonna share his story even though he's over
there.
Maybe we'll let him pipe in ornot.
We have to look up clients tomake sure they have like I and
we'll go in pairs or I just hadsomeone.
So we have like a littleservice where we can look people
up and I looked up this oneclient recently and it came up
like 38 felon.
And then it lists so our likeservice that tells us like you
look up their phone number andstuff, and I'm like, oh well,
sometimes it's like speeding andstuff.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Like it doesn't say felonies.
You'll see 38 criminalinfractions.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
So I'm like, what are they?
Is it a bankruptcy?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Was the bankruptcy, 20 credit out.
Did you blow a red light?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
yeah, is it like speeding somebody's got a lead
foot, I have a lead foot right.
So I'm like, oh, traffic,traffic.
And then I'm like, oh,violating bond, burglary, that
criminal sexual assault,kidnapping, home invasion,
kidnapping, I don't remember.
The list goes on.
I'm like, oh shit, I sold himoff.
I just bring someone with mewho's got their concealed carry
(22:08):
and we're good, but I will sayhe was great, super nice guy.
Well, you would never know thatwhen you meet the client,
you're like this person's.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So I like this person and I'm like, but I can't like
this person, but he was a niceguy, right.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
What does that say about me?
Speaker 1 (22:26):
I'm like I trust everybody.
No, I don't.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
No, but I mean, I'm just thinking of like this did
happen before.
Did you ever show a house thathad a room that wasn't in the
floor plan?
Now we don't have floor plansfor everything but secret rooms.
Have you ever shown a housewith a secret room?
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, pulled out the bookcase.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It was actually in Payless Hill, it was kind of you
know, do you remember the guythat speaking of drug vibe, the
guy that came in our open housein punta gorda?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
oh my god, we were just talking about him, matt,
just matt, matt, you have thelast name just matt, but what
made him stand out the most toyou?
Besides the open shirt and allthe nice hair hanging out right
and he was a tall he had a bigold gold chain with a big old 14
carat gold razor blade hangingup.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Literally I was like this matt, just matt I don't
want the government to know mybusiness I can't imagine why,
matt, he goes go mad.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
You have a phone number.
Nope, you don't have a phone.
Did you know they can track youvia your cell phone?
I was remember.
I was sitting in that chair, Ihad to go poop, I had to take a
shit.
Like get the fuck out of here,Matt.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
We've had some fun over there.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I was 99.9 degrees outside.
The AC wasn't working in thehouse In Florida, remember, the
fucking whack job Was like hey,make sure you got those Shutters
shut.
What Do you remember?
I was cranking the shutters.
There was a button.
No, you weren't cranking.
I was out.
(24:08):
Was cranking the shutters byhand Fuck it, there was a button
.
No, you weren't cranking.
I was out there cranking them.
It was 99 degrees out.
I was like, fuck this, I'm out.
I'm not doing it.
Shut the fuck up, take yourgold chain and stuff it up your
ass.
I'm out.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Fuck this oh my God, oh wow.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
These are some pretty good prompts.
This is just in the last sixmonths.
We haven't even gotten back towhere when we started.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Oh my, god, for what the recent stuff?
Who were your most difficult ornightmare clients?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Okay, let me just tell you this, because you'll
appreciate this.
So, someone that you guys werein business with prior oh god,
here we go.
We had a deal.
Oh my god, it's so bad.
I don't even anyway meet thislion tells me, google my name.
That's all you need to know.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I had one of those.
He never ended up buying thehouse.
I go what?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Just Google my name, you'll know who I am?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
shoulder Bob, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
I was like, all right , I go home, google his name.
I start laughing.
I'm like he beat up the thirdbaseman on the Kansas City
Royals.
I go home, google his name.
I start laughing.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I'm like he beat up the third basement on the Kansas
City Royals, I go what?
All right, it's a sock fan,right?
Totally yeah, I remember thisstory.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
But I didn't know you had him as a client.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
He's my client.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
So I go okay.
So anyway, searched with him,meet his family, super nice guy,
loved him until I knew therewasn't, until we closed on the
house Right closing on a Friday.
So you know that means youclose but you can't find the key
.
He goes and moves in becausethe listing agent never locked
the door and never passed along.
(25:39):
They didn't have any keys.
It was an elderly client.
Long story short the clientmoves in.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I don't get that Like people leave the door open.
I got another story about thatshortly Client moves in Total
nightmare.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Client moves in on a Friday night, saturday night,
the plumbing backs off, all intothe house, literally shit.
Shit Calls me and says I'm notpaying this.
I go, you owe the title company$1,600.
She's like I'm not paying this,get it from the seller.
I call your friend, the listingagent, and I said my client's
(26:09):
not leaving.
Your client has to pay mine$1,600.
I'm like my client isn't paying.
I go, your client ain't leaving.
They call the police.
Police says no, he's alreadymoved in.
He owns the house.
Here's title Because he closed.
He had a dry closing.
Why are you getting him out?
You're not, you're not, you'renot.
Big fight at the title companyMonday morning because he owes
the money, which is right.
(26:30):
Though the seller's sidedecided to show up, they
couldn't show up for closing,which I got.
Big blowout.
And here's me.
What do you want then?
Which I thought was okay.
I thought me and him were good.
He lost his marbles on me.
I'm like what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
What happened?
Just pissed because I was.
Well obviously he has a temperbecause he beat up third baseman
from the royals.
So yeah, it was the first oh,was it the first basement was
the first basement you wouldknow it was a nightmare no,
there are some difficult clientsout there.
I've seen some recently.
Yeah, yeah they want to yell atyou or blame you oh, didn't you
just have one blow your faceoff figuratively, not literally.
(27:09):
Yeah, I mean, we become theemotional punching bag for a lot
of people a lot of people.
I get it like this is the mostemotional, stressful time of
someone's life buying or sellinga house and we're trying to
make it as painless as possible,but when there's problems with
the house, we can't control thatlike we don't.
We don't have, um, I don't know, magic wand where I can wave it
, make your house not have theissues that it has like you're
(27:32):
not and we're doing the best wecan but also buyers are
unrealistic.
Buyers think they're getting newconstruction, which even new
construction isn't perfect.
No, and they were like pickingnitpick.
I'm like you know, quit pickingyou're getting a house.
Owning a home, while it's agreat opportunity to build
wealth and enjoy and have yourfamily, it also requires upkeep
and maintenance and fixing thewear and tear and all the things
(27:55):
that happen.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
That's life.
Life's hard and I always feellike when you go into buying a
home, unless you're buying newconstruction, you're buying an
older home Like it just like.
I can't guarantee it, thesellers can't guarantee it.
We just have to work with whatwe have.
Unless you spec it out andbuild it out, we're not going
(28:16):
into a new home.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
You've had some crazy deals blow up at the uh before
closing too, like you had onerecently because because of bad
age, I can't even remember Iwill.
I I'll let you share somestories, but I will tell you
there's been some times where Itell my clients, like if we're
in a multiple offer situationand we have three or four
different offers that are allthe same and there's one
particular agent that I know isdifficult to work with, always
causes, I will tell my clientthat I'm not blackballing them.
(28:40):
But I'm going to tell them, likethis agent I've worked with and
they're amicable and they'refriendly and they'll they'll
work with us to resolve anyissues that come up, because the
job is not to like.
Dig our heels in.
Yes, we advocate in ourfiduciary for our clients but
our job is not to see how muchwe can bully each other.
This is not a boxing ring.
It's not a boxing ring.
(29:00):
This is about getting to aresolution that makes both
parties happy at the end, and soI've had a suck ass to some
people that I don't really like.
I like everybody, but no.
I mean there's times where Iwant to blow up on someone and
I'm like just bite your tongue.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
This is about your client.
This is about your client.
This is about your client, andyou know me.
I like to say what's on my mind.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yeah, Not as much as my husband.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I ever tell you about the time speaking of what
saying?
What's on mind?
That he threatened to throw aclient in the trunk and take him
down to the Kelsag.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
No, the Kelsa Stinky.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Kelsa.
You know what the Kelsag isknown for, right?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I do.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
A hiding body?
Yes, it's like where the mobhides the bodies.
Yeah, like cement shoes, throwyou in a Kelsag.
Because it's the sanitary canal, Like you don't swim.
Its first barges and ships togo back and forth.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
So we had a client that came into the office.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Oh and the client told me this too.
Let me tell you that.
So the client comes in, hetakes the client, shows him some
condos.
Oh, by the way, he found outafter the fact too, or some some
point throughout thetransaction, that this guy was
also a registered sex offender.
Great, yeah, great.
And I can't say his name.
But he was like, oh, my God andBart tells the story so much
better than I do but no,whatever.
(30:09):
So he took them out, showedthem condos, whatever he was
going to write a contract, andat the time the lender was
in-house too, so they were intheir same office, so it was an
in-house lender.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
And apparently the client tried to go around Bart
and call the listing agentdirectly to buy.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
I know you showed this a couple of times and the
lender's in our office too,right, so we're she.
She's like, hey, your clienttried to call me directly.
So bart calls the client up.
He's like so, and so he's likeprobably say first names don't
matter, right, kenny, kenny.
He's like hey, kenny.
He's like yeah, yeah, uh, doyou want to go see that condo
again?
And he's like, yeah, yeah,let's go see it.
So he takes him there.
And at the time bart had one ofthose big ass Tauruses you know
(30:45):
, like the police car cruiserTauruses big giant trunk.
So he comes flying up to Kenny,flips the trunk open and walks
over and he just looks at him.
Hey, kenny goes.
You see that trunk right there.
And he's like, yeah, yeah, bart, he goes.
Did you call a listing agent?
He goes if you ever try to cutme out of a deal, I'm going to
take your ass, throw you in thetrunk, take you down to God,
(31:06):
shut the hell off.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
This is why Bart's not a direct buyer anymore.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
So they come back to the office.
So now I'm in the office, likeI'm office manager at this time
at this particular company, atthis time I think you may have
worked there at the time.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah, I probably did.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I'm just walking around the hallway with all the
glass windows and everything andthen Bart comes walking by and
the lender must have said oh,there's the manager, that's
Bart's wife, or whatever.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
So this guy.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Short little creepy looking guy.
Yeah, sex offender thingprobably makes sense, right,
comes running over and goesyou're.
Bart's wife and I said, yeah,he goes your husband said he was
going to throw me in the trunkand take me out of the Kelsag.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
I'm sorry, I won't do it again.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Do you cause him a condo?
No, no, it gets better.
The day before closing, stupidfucker goes out and buys a truck
.
Fuck, no, yeah.
So bart calls him up, he goes.
Hey, kenny, I heard you got anew truck day before closing
because the lender is the onethat told us right, he goes.
I heard you got a new truck hegoes.
Yeah, he goes.
How do you like that new truckhe goes?
Oh, I love it, he goes.
I hope you love it enough to besleeping and living in it,
(32:02):
because you're not going toqualify anywhere, you dumbass.
I told you not to buy anythingno, he didn't qualify after that
of course not, and he he wasvery.
What a dumb ass too.
Like I.
I don't usually call clientsdumb ass, but like this guy who
obviously was a creep right, youdon't have very many places.
You're allowed to live as aregistered sex offender because
you can't be by a school, youcan't be a board, and I mean,
would bart have probably turnedhim down as a client earlier if
(32:23):
he knew?
Maybe, but he didn't know untilpartway through the transaction
so that was an interestingstory.
So we always like to say thatyou know, you don't mess with
barb, because they'll take youdown with a kilt zag?
Speaker 1 (32:34):
No, it won't.
That's a good one, no it won't.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
It smells.
It is a smelly.
It smells like the dead bodynow Any other weird or crazy
stories you want to share, as wekind of wind things down, I
mean, we got stories for days,yeah, we should do this like
once a month.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Just kind of have some seltzers or maybe some wine
and cheese.
Yeah, it was good to substitutethis because we wanted to talk
about teams, but Kristen had toescape because there was no, not
golf ball size baseball sizehail that was at her house, so
she had to go take off.
And Kristen's a good one to knowabout teams, yeah so we'll get
to talk to her and we'll breakher in on that.
So I talked about the nakedseller.
(33:10):
You talked about the finalwalkthrough from hell Appraisals
coming in.
I had an appraisal come in$140,000 low.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
What?
No, I've never been there.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
The buyer was going to give more money and I'm like
no, no, no no.
Hold on lesson in sellers.
You should absolutely watch whoyou hire as your listing agent,
because they just hired someguy that just put them in the
MLS and that didn't reallynegotiate or advocate for them.
They just thought that all youneed is exposure because my
client would have paid at least$40,000 more in cash brought to
the table because it was a twounit.
(33:41):
And so the client's like, oh,I'll just you know, I have
$40,000.
Do you think they would comedown, was it?
Did I say it was 120 low, 120low.
It was 120 low and they're like, well, we can bring 40 more in
cash.
So do you think they'll comedown 80?
I know that's a lot and I'mlike no, no, no, hold on.
Guess what they came down to.
Appraised value for that one,but it was because I knew how to
negotiate and they didn't, sothat's a good one.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Oh, do ever have a dead body.
You know I did in florida.
I had one in florida andactually it was a personal.
I just got my license there andI it was a house that popped on
the market duper, dirt, cheapcalled the agent like go show it
the body wasn't there when youshowed it.
No, he died.
Well, here was the thing thethe owner passed away and had no
family there and Aww, and bythe time they found it it was a
(34:30):
month later and he had moltedinto the floor.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
That's probably what that house that I smelled was.
Yeah, same situation.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
So that's why it was $200,000 cheaper you know Did
your client clean it up.
We passed.
Oh, you know, I'll see youlater.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
So I actually had a listing that I'm certain.
I don't know for certain, butI'm certain Like when I got
there to list it Bart's smilingin the background, he knows what
I'm talking about the tub wasstill filled with water.
What I wasn't sticking my handin that drain and emptying that
out.
I sold it full of water.
What I made.
(35:06):
The inspector mind't have anyevidence of it, but you know
when you know you know.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, you know, you know you know, hell, no, oh hell
, no.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Sold it just like that.
Sold fast too.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
It sold in like a week you know what's so crazy to
me, all these wacky stories.
I mean people don't evenrealize.
I mean it's like shit.
I could sit here for hours andknow you suck.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I think we'll like every you know so many episodes.
We'll just have like a Fridaynight.
Yeah, unwind, what happened to?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
you.
This week it was.
This has been a crazy week forme.
I mean, it's Friday night andI'm like what Well we're here.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Having fun?
Yeah, drinking, sharing stories.
Hopefully you enjoy some ofthem.
Love it, alright.
So what else?
Any final thoughts you have?
Recap the craziness?
No, I liked this week.
Yeah, it was good, it wasrelaxing.
It was In a crazy way.
Any animals?
Have you read any animalstories?
No, I had a dog fighting ringin a house.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
At what?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
And with live dogs in it, and I dropped an F-bomb in
front of a little girl.
I mean I didn't.
So we go and sweet lady, and Ithink it was her mom and her
daughter, and the little girlwas like six or seven years old,
yep.
And so we go in and it'ssupposed to be a vacant house
and all of a sudden and I lovepit bulls, right.
(36:21):
So it's not about pit bulls, itwas just that they were fighting
dogs All of a sudden into thehouse where we're already in and
I yell oh fuck and I'm like ohwell, the club, they decided not
to work with me.
Obviously I did it twice.
Oh, there were two dogs.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Bart's saying there were two dogs and, like we both
did, the dogs belong to thehouse.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
I don't know, I just called the agent.
We left.
I'm like there's doctors.
He's like there's no dogs inthere.
I'm like listen, mfr, I'mtelling you I did not imagine
the dogs that came runningtowards us, that were in the
house and I love dogs but thesedogs were ready to eat someone,
literally, literally ready toeat someone.
So that came through.
That was fun.
How about snakes or?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
oh my god, oh yes, yes, yes, so probably five years
ago I see me and my littlecouple at first time home buyers
Chicago Ridge Go in.
Oh my God, super cute, kim, welove it.
Whatever, walk outside, goaround the back, I go.
Oh, there's a, there's a coupleof dead snake skins.
I'm like I've lived here mywhole life.
(37:19):
I've seen probably 10 snakes myentire life.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
You don't see much snakes, not like when we kids no
I'm like, well, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
So I'm looking, I'm like, oh, there's a garter snake
, oh, there's another one.
I'm like, oh, what?
Maybe just whatever we go backaround to the front and it had
siding on it they were crackedand so there were snakes
slithering up the door frame.
we run me and the girl client orrun go to the thing to to the
(37:48):
sidewalk and I call the agent.
She's like I don't know whatyou're talking about.
I'm like there's a bunch ofsnakes here.
She's like let me call theagent or let me call the seller.
Calls the seller, the sellergoes.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Oh yeah, there are snakes everywhere.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
They keep the rodents out.
Oh, they liked the snakes, theywere all invested in the house,
all infested in the house.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Oh, so you'd rather have snakes than rodents?
How about?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
neither.
That's what I said.
How about neither?
Speaker 2 (38:10):
I take neither.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Literally, I've never seen anything, Neither for a
thousand Alex.
Literally they're this big,this big garter snake.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
And I don't mind snakes, but I don't want them
infesting in my house Once, likethat's the thing, I don't mind
it.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Once you're infested with them, they follow like the
whatever.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
The master whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Yeah, If they're underground they will always
come back there.
You have to continuously treatthem?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Did they burn the house to the ground?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I would have burned it down, fucking, bulldozed it
On fire.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
It was right by Chicago's mall, it's the
weirdest, weirdest thingTermites we thing termites we
both had some termites.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
You just showed one.
That was so weird.
I'm glad that guy didn't buythat house.
Me too, me too was infestedturn garage.
And once they're in the garage,like like the inspector said,
he's like, yeah, you know,sometimes they migrate.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Well, yeah, because they follow I think if it's
treated properly and it's doneproperly, it's fine, you're fine
and I think people freak outabout things because, like we
used to have an office inCalifornia and on the coast like
California, and then even onthe east coast like Georgia,
florida, they get it because ofthe dampness right and so they
tent the houses and they treatthem and they move on and they
call it a day, but it's whenpeople don't treat things, yep,
(39:20):
and then they just get worse.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
People don't realize if you don't treat and you don
street, you know and they ruinand take over the house that I
had the other day was everywherewe looked, there were tunnels
everywhere.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Yeah well, I want to thank everybody for spending
their friday night with us.
You're probably watching thison a monday afternoon or a
tuesday afternoon, but for us itwas friday night and, uh, it
was a long week.
Uh, I haven't had a day off inthree weeks.
I don't think neither becauseit's spring market and, uh, we
love helping our buyers andsellers, so we want to invite
you to tune in, subscribe, likeyou can watch us on YouTube,
(39:54):
spotify, apple, amazon.
We're all over iHeart Radio Doepic shit.
We love you and keep the likescoming and keep tuning in.
Thanks, bye-bye.
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.