You Can Say No Without Being an Asshole: Protecting Your Time and Sanity

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Setting boundaries and protecting your time are essential skills for navigating the rollercoaster of entrepreneurship while maintaining balance and sanity.

• Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else—often your goals or family time
• Planning your year in advance allows you to make strategic decisions about how to use your time
• Don't tell someone no without giving them options of yes
• People don't remember what you did—they remember how you made them feel
• Success in business comes with inevitable highs and lows that require resilience
• The people you surround yourself with significantly impact your ability to handle challenges
• Imposter syndrome can be managed by "borrowing belief" from your supportive circle
• Schedule regular vacations and downtime to recharge and prevent burnout
• Setting expectations early helps both you and your clients navigate the relationship effectively
• If you don't have people who lift you up, find new people

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💡 Lessons we’ve learned about balancing it all—sometimes successfully, sometimes… not.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You gotta set boundaries without feeling like

(00:01):
an asshole.
Here we are.
Welcome to week three of Do.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Epic.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Shit.
I'm Colleen Basinski, I'm KimNeal and we are here to talk
about protecting your time andnavigating the highs and lows of
entrepreneurship.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
I like this one.
This is going to be a good one.
Before we go any further, thankyou everybody for downloading,
listening, following.
We've had some pretty goodfeedback, huh.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
It's been great.
Of course, there's always goingto be haters, you bet that's
how you know you're on the righttrack.
If you have haters, then youknow you're doing something good
.
But there have been a lot oflove too, and so we thank you
for the love.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, that's awesome, positive.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
You want to jump right in?
Yeah, let's do it, let's go so.
Ever feel overwhelmed, alwaysRight, stressed out, stretched
thin Absolutely, or caught inthe emotional roller coaster of
entrepreneurship.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
That's a big one.
That is a.
That is a big one and I think,especially if you have children
and family, and it can beoverwhelming and stressed I
spend a lot of hours a daystressed.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Well, and I think, even just the starting of
something and not knowing ifit's going to succeed and where
it's going.
And you know they have thissaying that when you're in
business for yourself, whetherit's in sales or just your own
business every day you wake upunemployed.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
That is the true.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Because you have to go out and win the business and
earn the business every singleday.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
And I think if you don't, I know for us if you
don't sustain a certain level ofbusiness, that becomes
stressful, overwhelming, anxietywe're going to talk about that
and how we handle that and howwe navigate that and deal with
it.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
So we're going to tackle about that and how we
handle that and how we navigatethat and deal with it.
So we're going to tackle twomajor challenges this week
Mastering the art of saying no,stop, and managing the highs and
lows of business life.
So we're going to talk aboutsome of the strategies we use
for protecting our time,managing our time, what that
looks like.
I'll give you some tidbits thatI've used that work for me.
You can share what works foryou, kim, and you do a pretty

(02:07):
good job, because not only doyou run a successful business,
but you also go away, you enjoy,you have a place down in
Florida, you're down there.
So I mean, you do a good job ofmanaging that.
Yeah, I think I'm proud of you.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Thank you, and you know what I almost feel like
that is the reward Managing forkeeping things together, for
doing well, doing the rightthing.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Then I can take that few days and, you know, hide for
a couple.
So, yeah, get a little vitaminD, absolutely.
So we're also going to talkabout how to set boundaries
without guilt and stayinggrounded through wins and
setbacks, because for every highthere's an equal low, I think.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Somewhere.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
They show up.
They show up for sure.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Whether it's your personal life or it's business,
they show up.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
So don't forget to subscribe.
We're on Spotify, amazon, appleyeah, we're on Apple now,
finally.
Took us a little bit, but we'rethere Exciting.
Have you ever regretted sayingyes to something All the time?

Speaker 2 (03:02):
So I feel like my personal life conflicts with my
business Not conflicts but soI'm social, you know that, very
social, and I always want tomake time for everybody.
You know, I will say yes tothings that I really maybe
shouldn't have.
Like, hey, kim, do you want togo, just using this, you know,

(03:22):
hey know, hey, kim, will you gowith me, you know, to the store
up north and then go to myattorneys and then when really
it's no I have to work, no Ihave dinner to cook at home.
It's no, ash went no, but I willsay yes because I don't want to
disappoint.
So what happens is I'm gettingup at the ass crack of dawn to

(03:44):
go run out to the store withsomebody.
What I should have just said no.
Let me just say this I'm happyto do so, but really it's not
protecting and it's not.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
But I also think that's why so many people choose
to work with you, because theyknow that they can depend on you
.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
That is true, I do feel like that too, and they
will call.
And again, I'm happy to do so,but it really does.
You said it earlier.
Do you ever feel stretched sothin?
And I do a lot of the times.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
So why do we feel guilty saying no?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
I don't know.
I think for me it's who I am.
I hate to say no, I'm a yesperson.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Well, I think it goes even deeper than that.
I think, as moms and wives andwomen in general, and sorry guys
like you know, maybe we'll saya few things that'll offend you,
apologize now Sorry, not reallySorry, that's all right, but I
think that you know we're raisedfrom a very young age to taught
to be like obedient and to belike a good.
To be a good wife and mothermeans like you're serving and

(04:41):
you're taking care of and andyou can't say no unless it's
like something harmful.
Right, like don't touch thestove, but like if your kids
want something, if it's not badfor them, or your husband needs
something, or so I think wecarry that over into our
business with our clients, rightfor sure yeah so you know, I've
heard this saying and this iswhat helps me anyway that like
so what do you do to learn tosay no, yeah, what do you do for

(05:04):
me?
I always go back to the saying.
It's, every time you say yes tosomething, saying no to
something else and thatsomething else is usually your
goals, your dreams, time withyour kids, whatever now.
last week, we talked a lot abouthow you do have to make
sacrifices, like, don't get mewrong, you can't just say no to
everything and then only do thethings you want to do, because

(05:25):
this business, in order to buildit, you're going to have to do
stuff, and I also believe,though, that it's learning to
manage all those things anddeciding which things you're
going to have to say no to.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Sure, it's a decision you make every day, when?

Speaker 1 (05:38):
you wake up.
Can I share a time hack orsomething that I've used?
Not necessarily a time timehack, but one of the things that
I do and I've shown this to youbefore, I think you're going to
know what I'm talking about isI actually print out at the
beginning of the year.
I've done this for about sixyears now.
I have a calendar and it's thisratty, old, tattered piece of
paper and it's likewincalendarcom.

(05:59):
It has like an excel version, aword version, but I print it
out in all the boxes and I canhave the whole year in front of
me and I sit there and I lay outthe things that are the most
important so that I can say noto something that conflicts to
one of those most.
Now I don't schedule my wholeday.
There are people out there thattime block every minute of
every day and I think they'reobnoxious.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah, me too, I can't .

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Like life doesn't work that way.
Life is all about managing.
Now I don't run around puttingout fires all day either, like
I'm not just reacting to things.
We have things that we schedule.
But I lay out the wholecalendar.
So the first thing I do and Ihave to look at it in a year
it's a year format, it can't belike 12 months.
So I think there's like threeor four months on a page and

(06:40):
it's either three or four piecesof paper page and it's either
three or four pieces of paperand I lay them all right next to
each other and I fill invacations, julian's spring break
and Christmas break andThanksgiving break, so times
that I'm going to be gone whenwe have classes or conventions.
Like you know.
Sure, we have our annualconvention in the fall.
This year I think it's November.
I put all of those things outand then I look from there, I go
in, I say, okay, my goals, whatdo my goals say I need to do so

(07:03):
this year?
30 open houses, so which 30weekends approximately?
I make sure that there's enoughin there and I kind of go
backwards and backfill and thenI can look at the week and say,
okay, what's on my annualplanner.
That's a non negotiable and Igo backwards, so I'm looking at
the whole year first that's agreat idea, lines with it.

(07:30):
And for me, since I starteddoing that, I have sighed a much
bigger breath of relief becauseI know like, hey, I'm not even
like a hair appointment or adoctor's appointment.
Like yesterday I went and gotmy hair done and, you know, you
got to get your next appointment.
She's like, well, we want tobook your next one.
I'm like okay, cause it takeslike five weeks to get in there.
I don't know why.
Why is it?
It's like getting into a doctor, right?
Kristen's laughing because wego to the same salon.
So I do have the same girl, nodifferent girl, same salon.
But I'm like, hold on, let mepull out my annual calendar and

(07:54):
I literally had to look at itlike what?
And I put all Julian's days offon there, like what days he's
off school so that I can be homewith him and then I can
schedule around that and likewhen clients want something, I'm
like, oh well, I have openhouse this day, so I can do that
day.
And I usually try not to doopen house both days each
weekend, like I'm not doing.
Saturday and Sunday.
I leave one day open forclients that are available for
showings and, like you know,like you said, you're scheduling

(08:16):
showing sometimes in themorning before and then after.
So that's one of my tools, Iguess.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
It's actually a great idea Lay it out, fill it in
Backwards.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, start with the end in mind, right, like look at
the big picture and then kindof drill it down from there.
It's been a game changer for me.
I should try that.
I'm going to make you do thatnext, that's really on my.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Actually, it's a great idea.
Here it is.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
It's a good know.
What do I have in June?
What do I have in October?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
you, know what's in there right now.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
In July, rock yep got it all planned in, like it's
all penciled in.
So someone asked me if I'mdoing something.
That nope, sorry, yeah, and ithelps for me, for with my
clients too, for your business,because if I know that like
there's a listing coming up orsomething coming up like, I can
guide them around it so that I'mmanaging the right expectations
for them, so they're not likeoh well, we need to go on the
market this day.
I already know that like I'vegot this thing coming up in

(09:11):
three weeks or whatever, becauseI've planned out my whole year
and I'm getting closer to itthat I can tell them okay, let's
get on the market this day orwe're going.
We know our pre-listing processtakes longer than you know.
We don't just throw somethingin the MLS and list it.
Like we have a process that weplan out.
It takes us seven to 10 days toprep something before it goes
live.
So we have like so I'm notgoing to plan for something to

(09:34):
go live while I'm in SouthDakota, right, and that's come
from a lot of mistakes that I'vemade over the years.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
I feel like the more we're in it, the more you know.
As time goes by, you do learnto juggle and manage things a
little bit better and drill downto.
You know setting a schedule,although yours is really drilled
.
Your book is huge.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
You know, I just like to have something to touch and
hold on to, and I'm a techieperson, so you would think like,
oh, you've got it all.
Look at it and I like to feelthe paper.
I know your book is humongous,it's fancy, it is pretty $39.99
on Amazon empty, by the way sowe talked about scheduling it
out, but give me some examplesof where you've learned to not

(10:17):
be such a people pleaser and howthat's helped or killed your
business you know what?

Speaker 2 (10:21):
to be honest, I was thinking about this not too long
ago, literally probably thepast year to two years, and I'm
like, no, not going to happen,I'm going.
This I never wanted, which ranme ragged for many years.
I wanted to please my clients,get everything done, spend.
You know I have a lot of groupof friends like high school work

(10:43):
, you know, kids, parents,friends, things like that.
So I would spend.
You know I have a lot of groupof friends like high school work
, you know, kids, parents,friends, things like that.
So I would spend, you know,five days hanging with this one,
going here doing this, doingthis, and then I would be
exhausted at the end of the week.
Not about the past year.
So I'm like, no, next week I'llsee you, following week I'll
see you.
Clients, I'm the same way.

(11:04):
Here's the days I'm availableMonday, tuesday, friday, from
four to eight.
The other clients, because Iwork with several clients in a
week, probably at least four.
Oh, easily, you probably havemore than that.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
If more than yeah, you're probably juggling 10 to
15 clients, at least Activeclients, like you've got a lot
of people in your database, butactive people at least oh, some.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
And and if I just say , oh yeah, we'll go, they'd have
me running from nine in themorning till nine o'clock at
night, and timbuktu to yeah fromindiana up to you know,
schaumburg.
So I literally that I doschedule out.
I open up my calendar, then Ischedule.
You know Monday is going to beclient.

(11:46):
A Wednesday client B.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
So what does that conversation look like with them
?
So like, how do you have thatconversation?
I think people, there's a lotof people that would like to
know how to do it, becausethey're afraid to have the
conversation they are.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
And I was too for many years.
So if they say, hey, kim, likeclients in general have a
tendency just to text me 10houses, which is great, I'm good
with that and I'll say before Ieven respond back to somebody,
I open my calendar and I say,hey, okay, I have, you know, my

(12:17):
son's baseball game today.
I have a doctor's appointmenttomorrow.
Oh, this is client.
I have Wednesday at fouravailable or Thursday at two,
and I let them choose.
Well, now, don't get me wrong.
Some may say, hey, I can't, Ican only do a Friday.
Okay, then Friday it is and Ijust go from there.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah, I think it's okay to juggle things around and
shift, like if I have someonethat's only available a certain
time, I'll move them to thattime, but then I make sure I
block out the other time for metime or for kids time or
whatever.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
Yeah, it is a juggling act, but you know what
I was thinking about it theother day.
I literally went from two orthree in a row and I got home
and I thought, well, I had agreat day, I had a productive,
good day, so you feel good atthe end day.
So you feel good at the endLike everything is organized.
I checked everything, and I'mstill old school too.
I literally will write thingsdown on a little piece of paper

(13:10):
this I've got nine things that Ihave to do today, and I just
check them off as I go.
So that's super important too.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
One of the things that also I've learned over the
years is this saying it's howyou can tell people no easier is
without them getting angry orupset or feeling like you know
because how they feel is justimportant.
So I think did.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
I answer your question you absolutely did.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
You did a great job you are fabulous, wait a minute.
Did I?
How did I tell them no, don'tgive them a choice.
There's just a couple of thingsrunning around in my mind and
you know me, I'm like all overthe place.
I have to spit them out right.
One of the things is peopledon't remember what you did.
They remember how you made themfeel.
So it's all about how you sayno and what you do, and so one
of the things that I was taughtearly on was don't tell someone

(13:55):
no without giving them an optionof yes.
So like no, I can't do this,but I can do this or this, which
one is better for you?
So you, you don't just tellpeople no, you give them other
alternatives.
Like you know, I remember wewere told oh, you can't, you
know, come in and talk to meduring these times.
I wouldn't say you can't talkto me these times.
I would say here's the timesI'm available if you need me.

(14:16):
So I just texted a clientearlier, or a new client, and I
was like what day next?
Because I book through theweekend, like today, through the
next couple of days.
So I said, well, what day nextweek can we meet?
Because you want your home togo, you want to move in the
summer.
So if you want to move in thesummer.
We're probably going to need toget it up the beginning of
April.
So what day next week would bebest for us to meet and talk

(14:39):
about the values so I can comelook at it?
So I'm like planning that outand setting those expectations,
because people don't alwaysthink about that.
So setting those out there.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
I think that's something you just said.
It's expectations.
You're setting your expectationand I think that's they weren't
mistake.
But before it's like oh okay,you want to go here, I'm going
to run out, you want to go there, I'm going to run out, you want
me to come at this time, okay.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Well, because we're afraid.
So I think that's the otherthing is too when you don't have
enough business, you'll say yesto everything because you're so
afraid.
Bingo.
So it's learning how to ownyour value and then also work
hard for your business so thatyou have enough business that
you can say no to somethingthat's maybe not safe.
Sure, like, where are we goingwe were talking about that
earlier too like where we'regoing to show properties, and is

(15:24):
it?
You know, vacant houses, youknow abandoned, run down houses?

Speaker 2 (15:28):
in the neighborhood that has run down abandoned
houses.
Right, I was in some thingsjust this week.
Yeah, me too, and I was likewhoa wow.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Yeah, I mean your safety has to come first.
So I think those are allimportant things to look at.
And when you're saying no,people understand how you made
them feel.
So it's about how you make themfeel, when you do it, a lot of
truth to that.
How to set boundaries withoutfeeling like an asshole.
What's one boundary you've setthat's made a huge difference.

(15:57):
And how do you set boundarieswith friends and family who
don't respect your work time?
Because I think when you'reself-employed, this is a big one
, guys.
Like when you're self-employedor you have your own business,
people think and even before,even when I wasn't in the sales
side of it, like when I was in,like running offices and stuff
people were like, well, you runthe office, you can just.

(16:18):
You know you don't have to bethere, you can go do whatever
you want.
Running the office means youstill have to run the office
Like it doesn't run itself.
You know you're not sellinganything if you're not out
showing houses or listingproperties.
So, like a lot of times peoplethink that we're just, you know
we can go anywhere anytime andyou know it's not a real job.

(16:38):
So how do you deal with thatpiece of it?

Speaker 2 (16:41):
You know it's taken me a while.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
We both have a lot of years of learning this so that
hopefully our listeners can fastforward through all the shit
that we did wrong.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
God, there are a lot of things.
I mean, I did a lot of goodthings in the beginning, you did
great, and a lot of things thatI was like, oh, I won't do that
again.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, what was the question when the family and
friends don't respect your timebecause it's not a real job, so
you can just run and do whatever.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
I had a lot of that, Colleen.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
So how did you change their mindset or deal with that
?
Or did you just tell them screwyou?

Speaker 2 (17:15):
No, I think at the beginning I really I didn't tell
people.
Does that make sense?
Like I didn't tell people thatI had to work or I didn't tell.
I think I just kind of ghostedfor a while.
I'm stammering for words foronce in my life.
It's unusual, kim.
I know it's because you knowwhat I was thinking about this

(17:36):
the other day and I was such anincognito person back then or
when I started that I didn'twant to tell anybody for fear of
failing.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Wouldn't that make it even worse, because then they
think you're just available 24-7.
Yeah, I mean.
So what did you tell them youwere doing?
Going to the beach?

Speaker 2 (17:52):
I think a lot of it was blamed on the kids back then
, Like, oh, I have this one orI'm doing this with this.
Yeah, a lot of it.
I didn't tell a lot of people.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
So you know what I'm hearing?
You say it's none of their damnbusiness.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
That's what I'm hearing you say.
Actually, I have a familymember that comes to mind that I
was like you know, go ahead,fuck you, I'm not, I'm not, I'm
not telling you anything.
Yeah, I'm not telling youanything.
And I guess this leads intosomething else.
Everybody was waiting for me tofail, so I kept it very quiet
what I was doing.

(18:27):
I would just go and do things,spend money on my business, and
not tell my husband or anybody,because even he was.
We talked about this on thevery first podcast that they're
like just quit that fuckingbullshit, get the fuck out of
there.
And I used to to be like, but Ireally want to do it and I
think I could do it.
Maybe I can and maybe I can't,and you know, I something in me

(18:52):
said just fucking do it, do youwant?

Speaker 1 (18:53):
to hear my favorite line yeah, I'm sorry, I already
have an appointment.
Then it's none of our damnbusiness what your appointment
is if it's an appointment withyour kids, if it's an
appointment to get your hairdone, if it's an appointment to
get your hair done, if it's anappointment to get your nails
done.
Yesterday I was getting my hairdone.
I had a client that wanted tosee a property.
My hair appointment was at 1.30.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
So how did you do you feel?

Speaker 1 (19:11):
guilty.
Not at all I used to, and so Ithink that's another lesson for
all of us.
You got to just get over it.
Let go of the freaking guilt.
Get over it.
It took me a lot of years, butyou know what?
It's none of their damnbusiness I.
I can do that today today wecan.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Today I can do that.
I can't say honestly that I wasthat even three years ago and I
think you said it earlier too.
It comes from hanging aroundwith me a lot, well that that is
true um, but I also think too.
You said something again herethat was like oh, if you have
enough business where you're notcoming from scarcity, it allows

(19:49):
you to be able to pick andchoose and do and say okay if
that person gets mad and goessomewhere else.
If they can't understand, Ihave an appointment.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
Well, and I think there's a difference.
I think what you're saying isthat there's a difference
between, like, setting properexpectations and taking giving
your clients good customerservice and being taken
advantage of, and I think, aslong as you know in your heart
you're giving good service andyou're providing the service
that they need, you don't haveto allow yourself to be taken

(20:21):
advantage of and you can say no,true, and so when you have
enough business, it's okay to dothat.
Now, just because you don'thave enough business does not
mean you should allow yourselfto be taken advantage of either,
though, because that's wherethe highs and lows and it's kind
of perfect segue into.
The next topic that we wantedto talk about is like managing
the highs and lows of thebusiness.
You said this earlier.
You start at the beginning, andI was thinking this too.

(20:42):
I was on vacation for the firstcouple weeks of the year, so
then my year started off behind.
Now I granted I had a bunch ofstuff under contract because I
worked through the end of lastyear, so I had that going, but I
still and you said this too Iget that anxiety Like, if I'm
not, I didn't put I didn't put adeal together this week, like I
didn't sell anything this weekShit.
I better get to work and so,like two weeks off vacation the

(21:03):
beginning of the year, it had mefeeling guilty, Like it had me.
That's the high and low of it.
All Right and so, but when I amhere, I work, I'm not like, hey
, I'm going to go do, yeah, Ihave to get my hairs done and my
, my hairs.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
I have more than one hair.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yes, I have to get my hair done, I have to get my
nails done, like I have to takecare of myself so that I can
present myself professionallyand be out there, but at the
same time, I'm not like everysingle day, I'm not getting a
massage this day and do it LikeI work when I have to work so
that I can enjoy what I have toenjoy Me too.
Yep, I know you do, but I seeand I've mentioned this a couple

(21:37):
times already I see a lot ofpeople that think that they're
getting into business so thatthey can have complete freedom
and that they want to work fourhours a week and have a
multi-million dollar business.
It don't work like that, honey.
So you work when you have towork so that you can say no when
you want to say no, so you canbe on the trip or you can be at
the things for the kids.

(21:58):
And I see you do that.
Sometimes you just do stuff andyou don't even know what you're
doing.
So I'm here to tell you whatyou're doing so that I can
celebrate you.
Thank you, Because you don'tcelebrate yourself enough.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
You know you were just saying something about you
work and you work hard so youcan enjoy and you can do those
things when you are doing them.
You know, like I feel like wedo work super, super hard, but
when we do go we do enjoy.
I didn't really do a lot ofthat prior.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
it was always working , going and then working what's
been your biggest high in yourbiggest low in your business?

Speaker 2 (22:32):
honestly, the biggest high is personal.
It's business and personal.
It was.
Client had called me, I went onthe listing appointment and I
ended up purchasing that home.
It was just out of the blue andit was a great business
decision and that was really thehighest.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
You like, celebrating those investor wins, I do.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
That's a good one for you, I know it really was.
I walked out of there like thatwas a good day, that was a good
deal.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
All right.
What about the opposite?
Biggest low in your business.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
I had a couple.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
Come on, tell the story.
People want to hear the haterswant to hear.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Well, I'll tell you, I've been on my ass a couple
times.
You know you're riding high,you're selling, you're selling.
And then I crashed.
I left a brokerage that I wassuper comfortable at.
This is just one.
I thought I was the I reallydid.
When I was leaving thought, ah,you got this.
I thought you were the shit.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
I did think I was the shit, I knew what you were
going to say.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
Left that brokerage and fell on my ass the following
year and it was.
It was devastating to me.
Not that I was starving I don'twant people.
I wasn't homeless Thankgoodness I wasn't destitute but
things got really rocky.
My marriage at the time myhouse, wasn't the most smoothest
place that you'd want to be.

(23:48):
I didn't have the money that Iwas used to making and there was
time for a change.
I had to dig deep inside of me.
What's going on?
What am I doing?
What am I not doing?
What can I do better?

Speaker 1 (24:01):
Was there a conversation you had with
someone, or was there somethingyou read, or something Like what
?
What caused you?
Because you said you had to digdeep.
But how do you even know thatthat's what you needed to do?

Speaker 2 (24:10):
My life just wasn't working.
This was not working.
I was miserable every day, andthis has nothing to do with
money, it's all an emotional.
It's emotional.
I just, you know, I would wakeup every day in a funk, just a
funk.
I didn't have anyaccountability to anybody and
that's, I feel like in sales,whatever sales, car sales,

(24:32):
whatever sales you have to beaccountable to you because
you're in sales, and if youdon't have accountability
somewhere, you just go off.
You're playing in the wild,wild west.
So, getting back to that, I'dwake up in a funk.
I didn't feel good, I wasmiserable, I was screaming at
everybody.
I mean, if you said the wrongthing to me, I was going off.

Speaker 1 (24:54):
How'd you get back on track?

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Yeah Well, I needed to revamp everything.
Get back on track.
Yeah Well, I needed to revampeverything, and meaning I had to
it goes back to the circle.
I had to find a circle againwhere it fits.
You say circle, you mean likethe people you surround yourself
with, the people I surround, abrokerage that was vibrant, that
had good vibes, that was up andcoming.

(25:17):
I needed something different.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
I agree with you.
I think that.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
I was dying.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
When we talk about those highs and lows who you
surround yourself withabsolutely matters If you don't
have good people around you,like so I can have a really bad
day and I can pick up the phoneor I can even just look at my
text messages from Kristen andKim, because we have our own
little text group and I andthere's a meme in there and it
immediately puts a smile on myface like the people that you
surround yourself with, thosewho feed you the laughter and

(25:45):
the joy, and they can help liftyou back up so it's so important
and that's why you know it's um, it's kind of disheartening
when, when I see that peopledon't come in and they don't
engage you know, know, in theoffice.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
It is so disheartening because it's such
a good vibe and it makes youpush harder, makes you go harder
, makes you hey, colleen's gotfour deals under contract, mike
has three, I'm getting five.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, it feels good to be around people like.
Energy begets other energy.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Absolutely, and I can't even stress how important
that is.
It's nice to see people comingin.
It's nice to be in a group.
It does help you.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, I think that's really important.
For the highs and lows I thinkthere were a couple of them,
obviously opening my ownbrokerages.
When I launched my ownbrokerages, those were
incredible highs, but I thinkthose also were some of my most
incredible low moment because,you know, we had some.
We got into business with somepeople that we probably
shouldn't have gotten intobusiness with.
So that goes back to the circleagain.
So, like here, there's a commonthread and a theme here, right,

(26:50):
who you get into business withmatters, even if it's not like
physical business, it's likeancillary, like just being
around those people, and who youwork with.
But we physically got intobusiness with some people who
are not nice people, who did nothave our back, and in hindsight
I can see that.
But at the time I was so I putwanted, wanted it so bad that I

(27:11):
probably overlooked some redflags that I should not have.
So, like, if you feel those redflags, listen to them, or just
ask me and Bart.
Yeah, you guys are, I are.
I'm like no, they're okay, wehave a new ball though there are
some people who have said anddid some really nasty, horrible
stuff to me.
I know I can tell you that, um,you know they tried to have our

(27:35):
bank accounts frozen, theytried to shut our businesses
down.
I mean, they did successfullyshut some down, but that's also
how I know I can make it,because if you make it through
those and you can come backevery time and I think that's
what pushes me through the highsand lows of it, like losing a
sale, big deal, I lost a wholefreaking company.
You did Right.

(27:56):
But also I think it goes backeven further.
I talked, talked about earlier Idon't want to like to be
homeless.
Like you said, you didn't loseyour house or anything, right,
and and I didn't like I wouldlike.
I said I wasn't living in acardboard box, right.
But I know that.
I think we talk aboutconfidence and believing in
yourself.
I know, once you've hit abottom, that, like, you're still

(28:20):
going to have the ability torebuild it again.
If you've done it before, ifyou've done it once, you can do
it again.
That's the thing.
If you had to put a dealtogether, you found a client,
you go find another one, likeit's not the end of the world.
And so I think, when you putthat into perspective and you
remind yourself of that, andthen you surround yourself with
people who can make you laugh toget through to that next
conversation, that helps managethose highs and lows, and I

(28:44):
remember that saying?

Speaker 2 (28:45):
what was that saying?
That said you could or falldown or take a minute to cry,
but then the other 60 or theother 59 minutes you have to get
back up, or something like that.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
You used to say I can't remember something like
you know, you can cry about itfor a minute or five minutes.
Take your five minutes Takeyour five minutes cry over it
and then put your I didn't saythis, but this time I say it.
Now put your big girl pants onand get over it and get going.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
I mean, there's so much truth to that.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
Too many people count on you in this world.
Even if you're your ownbusiness person and you don't
have a husband or a wife or kidsor anything like, your family
still counts on you, to love onyou and for you to be there.
In today's day and age with somany mental health issues and
suicide and everything else,just remember you matter and you
can put your big girl pants onand you can get back out there,

(29:35):
because nothing is the end oflife in business.
It's just business.
You're not dying, it's okay, youcan rebuild it, you can go
again, you can find anotherclient, heck, even if you lose
your business or your house, youcould build another one or get
another one.
It's going to be okay.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
I had a friend way way back in the day and her
husband was a builder andremember 08, 09, everything
crashed.
And she had said to me one timeand we're talking back, you
know $500,000, house back then,boats, cars.
And she literally said to meyou know what, kim, if I lost

(30:15):
all this, as long as I have myfamily, kids, my husband, I
don't care if we live in acardboard, cardboard box.
This, this means nothing.
And from that point on Ithought, if she could sit like
wow, like that, and that is what, what matters well, and don't
get me wrong, it's nice to havenice stuff I like nice stuff me

(30:37):
too.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
I like on trips.
I like seeing tropical islandsand palm trees and the ocean,
but I also know that you knowwhat things come and go and who
you're around.
The people around you are whatmatters the most and as long as
I have strength in my body, Iwill do whatever it takes to

(30:58):
keep pushing and keep working solet me ask you this getting a
little bit, what makes you?

Speaker 2 (31:03):
where do you get that from?
Oh, now you're hitting me withthe hard questions right, it's
because you talk about that andwe talk about being knocked down
, getting where do you get?

Speaker 1 (31:13):
and and I've, I've watched it's been a couple times
well, I will tell you, I pullon strength from the others
around me for sure, because Iknow we've had a lot of ups and
downs with this whole businessthing where we, you know, and
there was a period of time where, like I wasn't eating, I was
physically sick because it wasso stressful, and Bart can
attest to that.
Or we'd get some food and Iwould take a couple bites of

(31:34):
food and I'm like I can't eat,and he was like you haven't
eaten in two days, colleen, youneed to eat.
And I wasn't losing weight.
That would have been nice, Iwasn't eating and I still wasn't
losing weight.
So, lies, lies, lies.
I physically couldn't eat, Iwasn't sleeping, I was up all
night like just worrying andstressed and you know about
everything.
And it was the people around methat I pulled on their strength

(32:01):
and I will say I also startedgoing to church.
That made a difference.
So if you have God in your life, whatever God you believe in,
right, my God, that makes adifference for you.
So church was very helpful forme.
But I think, knowing that youcan't, you can do it all
yourself, but you can't do itall yourself, I agree.
So I know that sounds like well, you're saying opposite things,
colleen, but knowing that I cancontinue to work, but I also

(32:22):
have to have faith in peoplearound me.
I give you Baldo a shout out.
He's probably going to be likeoh, you talked about me again
and not on the tech side ofthings.
He witnessed a lot of the shitthat went down when this was
happening and he encouraged meand he was like you're going to
be OK and he was there for me,right, and obviously Bart was

(32:46):
like I, I think of the thingsthat that man has been through
my side in and like havinghaving a good partner in life is
important.
I mean, not everybody has one.
So I know I'm blessed,absolutely.
And you know what we alwayslike to tease that we both got
it wrong the first time but gotit right the second time right
because we were both marriedbefore.
I think that makes a difference.
But also just having sometenacity and some determination,
and like I'm the kind of personthat you say well, you told me,

(33:09):
I can't do it, I'll show you,I'll show you.
I remember one of the firstopportunities I got to run a
company or a business wheresomeone hired me in.
There was a gentleman who hadcome and he gave a presentation.
He talked about what he hadbuilt and what he had done, and
I said he can do it, I can do ittoo.
And so I was like well, I'mgoing to do what he did.
There you go.

(33:29):
Well, right, that's how.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
I started my business .
People have done it before us.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
We should be able to like, obviously, if you learn
the things and you do the things.
I think that's the.
You have to be willing to work.
I never shied away from hardwork Me neither I'm not afraid?
To Me neither, and if you falldown and scrape your knees, you
get back up.
I mean, you learn how to ride abike right?
You didn't get on there andjust start doing it.
You had to figure it out.
You had to fall a few times fewtimes and I think, if you break

(33:57):
things down into analogies likethat, you're like okay, well, if
I could do this, then I can dothat, and if I could do that,
then I can do that.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
So are you saying there's a lot of self talk,
there's a lot of reassuringyourself.
Well, I mean, yeah, because Ifeel like everything with the
exception of us there was a lotof I had I'm going to do this.
I'm that, if they can do it, Ican do it.

(34:23):
They can do it, I can do it.
Um, I feel like there was a lotof self motivation yeah, I
think they say you can'tmotivate someone.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
This is what I've heard in like a lot of the
business and leadership classesthat you can't motivate other
people.
All you can do is hold up amirror so they can see the
things that motivate them.
I think that's part of it.
Like you can shine a light onwhat's in them.
But you can't and we say thisall the time, I can't want it
for them more than they want itfor themselves but you can also
help them see how the path ispossible, and I think that's

(34:51):
important.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
I think that's really important.
I can look back and say thatthat probably for me was huge,
just somebody holding thatmirror up.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
And I think I've been blessed with this ability to
chunk things down, to break itdown into those pathway pieces.
So the people that at least,have been around me, I like to
try and do that for them.
Like here, let me chunk thisdown and show you how you can do
this too.
You can do this, like you justdo this and you do this and you
do this, and but when it getshard, you can't give up, you

(35:24):
gotta?
Well, we did vision boards, sothat's another way Like vision
boards, I think, are a greattool to manage the highs and
lows because you remember whyyou started.
They talk about, like findingyour why and finding what's
important and remembering whyyou did this in the first place.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
There's so much power in a vision board.
I never thought I used to thinkthey were funny.
Remember when we used to do allthose little classes and we'd
cut out the magazines and stickthem up?
I mean literally.
We did that for years.
I can remember all of my stuffon it.
When I first came into thebusiness, I had a big one hung
it on my wall.
Do you know that 2018-19, I hadachieved every single thing on

(36:00):
that vision board and you'd say,well, why didn't you do that
any other time?
I just did it for the firsttime again when we just did them
.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
That's because you surrounded yourself with people
who forced you to do it.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
But that goes back to the circle right.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
It is so true.
And as a national company or abig company, they're not forcing
us to do this, so you can be asa national company or a big
company, they're not likeforcing us to do this so you can
be part of a company or abrokerage, but it's that inner
circle that you have that meansjust as much, right, very much
so, or even more so, very much,because I mean, I've been at
other companies me too companiesand I've been at some companies
and I'm like you know, yeah,but that inner circle, those

(36:37):
people that you surroundyourself with, so I think we
have fame throughout today.
It's who you surround yourselfwith matters, it does matter.
And not just from a do theymake a lot of money perspective,
but from a like are theywilling to give me some of their
strength when I need it?
And am I willing to do the samefor that, like when I see
someone in my circle that justneeds a shoulder to cry on, I'm

(36:58):
going to be that shoulder to cryon, but I'm also going to give
them the kick in the ass thatthey need to get back on the
horse.
Like you know what, I know thatyou're capable of more than
this, and I'm willing to havethat tough conversation with
them because I love the peoplethat I'm around, that are in my
circle Yep, and we need that.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
We all need that.
Yeah, sometimes you need to besmacked upside the head
literally, but it's a wake upcall, Figuratively sure, Well
and I think once when, if you'recomfortable and close enough
with that person to say hey, youknow what's going on with you,
things don't seem, you seem off,you're not on track.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
You are definitely on this week, just so you know
like you say when you say yeah,last week you were off, I was,
but you had a ruckin' out lastweek were off.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
I was, but you had a ruckin out last week.
I did.
I was jacked up, yeah, for awhile.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
But you see how physical things manifest into
your business and everythingelse like you're on it this week
.
So good energy, yeah, goodenergy.
Isn't there a song like that?

Speaker 2 (37:51):
good energy I'm telling you yeah, it was any
business owner, anything.
We always have highs and lowsalways.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
I have a couple notes in here that one of the other
things is discipline, like howdisciplined are you?

Speaker 2 (38:04):
Here's the thing People think real estate, make
your own schedule, work when youwant to work.
Anybody who makes, anybodywho's in this business and
really in the business, knowsthat it's the complete opposite,
complete opposite.
I work, you work, you work.
Kristen, we all work when thenorm is off, if you have a job,

(38:26):
your corporate world nine tofive, I work from five to eight.
When you get off On the weekend, when you're off, I work, I
just think we again.
Saturdays, I literally worksince January from 9 in the
morning till 6 o'clock, andevery weekend, every Saturday,
every Sunday.
So when I get drunk got to be aThursday, got to go out on a
Thursday we do go out on a lotof Thursdays.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
I know it tends to be a day for us.
It is, I like Thursdays.
Yeah, it's still vibing enoughout there, you know, still
happening.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Speaking of vibing, you had a good tuesday.
We had a good lunch withsomeone and I got three new
clients, four new clients out ofit multiple pieces of business
and a bunch of drinks, yeah, anda bunch of drinks.
We had fun, we had a good day,but then, you know, I'm busting
my butt all weekend long.
So it's okay like I can take atuesday off because I'm working.
I don't have to work six days aweek, but I do work.
See that?
See, that's the thing, though,so it's really easy.
So I have Mr Bad Influence inmy life too.

(39:22):
He's like oh, let's go tobreakfast, let's go do this.
I'm like no, I have to go towork.
So I think, like all the wayback to the beginning of saying
no, like full coming, fullcircle, I just tell people I'm
working, I have to work, I'mgoing to work.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
I can remember back in the day, even when you
weren't in the field selling,when you had the offices or even
just the one.
I remember you saying no a lot.
I think you said no more thanyou know, like more you did.
I mean we didn't see you at alot of functions or a lot of our
networking things back then.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
So yeah, you have to.
You have to make those choices.
But that goes back to also whatwe talked about a few weeks ago
, which is, you know, settingyour non-negotiables, knowing
what's negotiable, and what'snot, so we talked about that
before.
I also wrote in my notes aboutfinding joy in the process and
not just the results, so I thinkthat's important.
I enjoy what I do, even though,like Kristen and I didn't open

(40:17):
house this weekend, this pastweekend, like we had fun.
We're goofing around like we'reworking, but we are actually
enjoying our time together there.
We're like goofing around.
We had conversations.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
I love our group.
Right, I do, I love it, I liketo work, I like what we do.
I mean, I don't think you coulddo it if you didn't.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
I think I've also learned to not take myself so
seriously.
Yeah, because I had a tendencyto be a real uptight, serious
person Very much.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
So I agree Kim's like yeah, you were.
You were Colleen Yep Woundtight.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
Yeah, I was pretty tight.
Yeah, no, you have to do itthis way, and I've learned not
to take myself so seriously.
So I think that helps and sothat's allowed me to find more
joy in the journey.
The journey is as important, ifnot more, than the destination.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, we have a good journey.
It's been good.
I'm super excited for thefuture, for the year.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
How do you handle the stress that comes with
entrepreneurship?

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Oh, I drink.
No, how I handle it.
Well, I really have to taketime for myself and I never used
to do that before.
It's very important for me to,on a day off, to go have my
nails done are crazy.
Is this sound?
And I know you guys say it tome all the time.

(41:36):
I enjoy cleaning my house, Iknow.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
You are so weird.
I never, ever, have to clean ahouse as long as I live.
I'm totally okay with it.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
I don't enjoy.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
I like to walk in and have a clean house.
I know and I like to do itBecause nobody does it good
enough for you.
No, no.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
I've seen you like multiple people.
You're like now that personsucks.
I've had like five cleaningpeople and they're just yeah
anyways.
So if I can take a day off, ifI know I don't have anything, I
can go on the computer for anhour.
I like to clean my house.
I like to get a massage I do atleast a month or every other
week with a friend of mine.
I just like to go out.

(42:17):
I have to for me.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
I have to have planned vacations and not
vacation like yeah, so I alwayslike I can't have nothing
planned for the next, and Ithink maybe I went through a
period of time for like sixyears where I didn't go on
vacation for a long time oh,it's terrible.
We, yeah, this was before youknew me yeah before you knew me,
I had worked at anotherbrokerage and I worked there for
three years as a manager andnever took any of my vacation

(42:42):
time.
Ooh, yeah, it was.
It was hard, but also you knowthat was early on, where you
know, we had a lot of hospitalstays for PJ and my kids because
you know we he was beingdiagnosed with the spectrum and
there was a lot of things goingon then spectrum and there was a
lot of things going on then andso I didn't hadn't learned yet

(43:02):
the importance of how I neededthat to rejuvenate me in my life
and I would rather sacrificegoing out and partying like I
wouldn't want to go out anddrink.
I would save that money, notlike now in hindsight, to save
up to go on a trip somewhere.
And here's a funny story.
You'll hear a funny story.
So my first ever trip toNashville.
How it happened.
Do you want to hear how it?

Speaker 2 (43:21):
happened, I do.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
So I learned the importance of scheduling
vacations and having thatdowntime and whether I didn't
mean I had to fly to a tropicalisland.
But I knew that I needed thattime to rejuvenate myself.
So it was.
The week between Christmas andNew Year's is always really slow
in the real estate world per se.
So I decided, I went online andI researched and I was like I'm

(43:43):
going to Florida, I have a carI can drive, so it'll be less
expensive.
I found the best hotel prices,found like some really
inexpensive hotels.
I'm like I'm going down there.
Bart and the kids and everybodythey all said they weren't
going.
I'm like, well then, I'm goingby myself.
That sounds like me.
no, the kids were teenagers thenyeah, like I want to leave my

(44:04):
boyfriend and I don't want to I,I.
So I remember kyle said youknow, good old kyle, you know
he's doing what's right for mama.
He's like I'll go with you.
I'm like, okay, great, kyle andI are going to florida.
The rest of you can stay here.
I don't really give a crap.
Oh, but Bart's like I'm notriding in the car 17 hours if we
keep going like I don't care, Iwant a vacation.

(44:24):
I'm gonna have the vacation thatI can afford, but that's still
gonna rejuvenate me and I'velearned, you know.
So this is like a lesson in howto like manage these highs and
lows.
So I'm like, okay, well, I'mgoing.
I don't care if you guys arecoming with me, but I am going.
So Kyle gets wickedly sick withthe flu, like he's throwing up.
I'm like okay, I really stillwant to go.

(44:45):
And I wasn't a jerk for leavinga sick kid.
He's like 18 years old at thetime, 17, 18 or whatever right.
So he wasn't.
And my mother-in-law was at thehouse too Because, remember, I
said she used to come and staywith us from time to time and
I'm like mary, I'm still going.
If you kyle bart's here, kyle'shere, you know she's like, I
got him, I'll take care.
You know I'll make sure he'sokay.

(45:06):
If he's too sick, you know I'llfeed him soup and stuff,
whatever.
So I'm like I'm going two hoursbefore I was getting in the car
to leave barcos.
You can't go by yourself.
I'm going, you can't stop me.
I'm a grown-ass woman.
Fine, I'll go with you.
But we got to stop somewherehalfway because I can't miss
football.
So we stopped in Nashville.
So I changed the whole.
Thing the whole plans around.

(45:27):
We get to Nashville and this islike the week before Christmas
and New Year's and our the weekbetween Christmas and New Year's
.
We get down there and the wholeit.
So we got a cheap hotel.
I don't know like we ended upat the hilton.
I had points, I don't know howit all ended up, but like it's
like the whole universeconspires when you figure out
you want to be somewhere.
I feel like we're just blessedin that.
Like that stuff just happensthe way it's meant to unfold for

(45:49):
us the whole street.
Uh, lower broadway is shut downfor a street festival.
They have bands and musicplaying in a street fair.
The football team was playing atthe stadium, so there was like
college football and thenregular football, so we were
able to sit in the bars andwatch football and have a good
old time and I'm like, okay, sonow we'll leave on Monday to go
to Florida.
He's like I want to leaveBecause New Year's was happening

(46:10):
a couple of days later.
So we're like we ended upstaying in Nashville the whole
time.
We never made it Florida.
We canceled it.
Brett Eldridge, who is acountry singer, was playing on
the stage in the middle ofBroadway like free concert.
We celebrated New Year's in themiddle of the street and that
was my first ever trip toNashville, so that's why I love
Nashville.
Like we had the best time and itwas the most impromptu,

(46:33):
inexpensive, like you can dothings.
Like it doesn't have to cost alot of money.
Figure out where, andespecially now with Airbnb.
But that was my first becausenobody wanted to go and I like.
So again you say how do you?
I just decide, and very, veryseldom is anyone going to tell
me no Once I make my mind upabout something yeah, I'm like,

(46:54):
I'm going.
So he packed his bag, Just Bart, and I went to Nashville.
The kids stayed home, nobodywanted to go else with us how
perfect was that?
It was beautiful.
It was a wonderful trip.
We had the best time Me too.
That's how I go.
That was my first trip, I justroll.
So there you go, perfect.
Well, so I think vacations arelike I, so do you have your next
vacation planned?
I do, I am leaving end of themonth.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
There you go, so having those trips I think helps
like kind of keep you going andrejuvenate you.
For me at least, that's well.
I think the older we get youneed that like people ask all
the time like, oh my god, youtravel alone.
I have a house, a home inflorida.
Yes, I do.
My kids don't come, my husbanddon't.
If a friend wants to come, thegreat.
I tag along.
Yeah, tag along I the time?

Speaker 1 (47:39):
Yeah, Tag along all the time.
I mean everybody's well,Uninvited, I invite myself.
I'm like Kim, you need someoneto come with you, the more the
merrier.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
But if nobody wants to go, well, you know that.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
But I think I'm out.
So you say we're older, but I'mthinking back to even when I
was't want to do something.
We used to be in the curmunginyold crab that he is he was even
a curmunginy young crab.
Alyssa and PJ and I we went ona lot of road trips together and
those were my little minivacations that didn't cost us

(48:10):
anything, like we'd go basicallyto like friends that had a
cabin or a house or whatever, ormy mom lived out of state.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
We did it too.
We'd travel.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
I'm like okay, who wants to go on a road trip with
me?
We?
Did it we needed that littlemini vacation.
So you have to take that timeto rejuvenate yourself.
And I look back on it, I feelso blessed that I have those
memories with my kids too, andyou've done it with Donovan.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
Yeah, just you and Donovan went down and you went
fishing.
Yeah, what's the name of that?

Speaker 1 (48:33):
boat that you guys go on.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
Tampa right.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Yeah, in Tampa Clearwater, it's a fishing boat
right the Bald Eagle, the BaldEagle, the Bald.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Eagle or the Screaming Eagle, Something
Screaming Eagle isn't it?

Speaker 1 (48:45):
I think so, I don't know.
But anyway, like all of thosethings, indiana Beach, schaefer
Lake- those are I remember?

Speaker 2 (48:51):
all those.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
So no matter where you are, you can find something
and it doesn't have to cost alot of money, like we pack a
cooler with sandwiches andgatorades and juice boxes or
whatever, and Alyssa and PGI andI would get in the car, hop in
the car.
Kyle wouldn't want to come,bart wouldn't want to come, we'd
like go, we'd take off.
We went to Galena and we wentto the lake up there and we had

(49:17):
great memories.
But in you know, when I lookback on it now, I'm so, so
grateful because you know Idon't have Alyssa anymore but, I
, have incredible memories oftimes that we had together and I
know that she had a really goodtime.
So, like, when you look back onit, plan those trips.
That's how you get it, getthrough the stress of it all.
Okay, one last question beforewe wrap up, dealing with

(49:38):
imposter syndrome.
Do you ever have impostersyndrome?
Are you familiar with that term?
I am not Okay, so I had no ideawhat this meant and Kyla had to
explain it to me.
But then once I'm like oh, it'skind of like where you're
always feeling like the othershoe is going to drop.
People are going to find outthat I'm not really as good at
this or as great as I pretend tobe, or I feel like, or as great

(50:04):
as like I pretend to be, or Ifeel like, but you really are
actually.
So how do you deal with, likethe am I, I'm not good enough
the imposter syndrome?

Speaker 2 (50:08):
For me that's internal.
That is so internal because I'mgoing to get a little
vulnerable here, because I mean,people really do, you know,
love working with you.
You're great, you're this,you're that.
And really I go home and I'mlike I'm just Kim, I'm just a
mom, I'm just no, I'm not.

(50:29):
And then you always feel like,well, they think I'm great, but
I'm really not that great.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
So how do you deal with?

Speaker 2 (50:35):
it.
It's hard actually, kind of ifyou think about it.
I mean, I don't know For, kindof if you think about it.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
I mean it's, I don't know for you.
Is it a constant battle in yourbrain, in your head?
I'm gonna give you the answerthat I gave to like six other
questions the circle, circlearound me is what helps me
explain more on that, becausebecause I'm always doubting
myself.
So I come out here and you guysall look at me and you're like,
oh, you're so confident, yougot it all together.
Colleen.
Like do you know that I failedpublic speaking class in high

(51:04):
school and three times incollege?

Speaker 2 (51:06):
seriously, seriously they're like wait a minute,
colleen, you speak for a livingon a daily basis, either
one-on-one I would have neverknown that you coached people
all over the world.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
You've got up in front of on stage in front of
thousands of people, and Ifailed public speaking.
I failed it in high school andI was like in all honors classes
and whatever and super smart,but I had this terrible phobia
like that.
I'm not good enough to get upthere in front and speak in
front of people, right.
And then when I took speechclass in college because you
know, I went to communitycollege yeah, I took speech

(51:37):
three times and all three timesI dropped it as a class because
I was so terrified to get up andspeak.
What was the light bulb?
So it's the people that I'vesurrounded myself with that have
given me confidence to do it.
Like I always say, oh, was thatokay, or whatever.
And you guys lift me up, likeyou guys literally Bart, you,
kim, kristen, like all you guys.

(51:58):
You guys, I borrow yourconfidence, I borrow your belief
, that's it.
I borrow your belief in me andhold on to it until I can get to
that next step.
And I think we talked about thecircle and the tribe that you
surround yourself.
That matters more than anything.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
I agree.
Do you think too, it's the moreyou grow, the more confident
you become?
The more successful you become,the more your confidence grows,
the knowledge that you?

Speaker 1 (52:31):
Well, absolutely.
But I think there's also acatch to that to not become too
cocky.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Oh yeah, Great point, Great point.
Somebody comes to mind as I'mthinking.
Somebody comes to mind whereit's like just full of arrogance
and I just can't even listen,Just isn't.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
And you said something, too, though, about
like the more that you grow.
How do you get through that?
Or how do you, where's yourconfidence come from?
I think, every time you sign alisting or you sign a client
like, okay, this person believesin me, so the more people that
you serve.
I mean we've literally soldhundreds of homes over the years
, hundreds and hundreds of homes.
So I mean that's hundreds ofcheck marks of this person

(53:14):
believed in me and I did a goodjob for them.
This person believed in me andI did a good job for them.
I think builds on that right.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
That's true.
I didn't think about it thatway.
That is true.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
So to recap and to add a few closing statements, I
would just say ups and downs arenormal.
You're going to have ups anddowns in your business.
Who you surround yourselfmatters.
Who you surround yourself withmatters.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
I love that one.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
Sometimes it's none of their.
I'm going to add in you knowrecapping, learn to say no, it's
none of their damn business.
Like I have an appointment,it's okay.
Believe in yourself, right.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
That's huge.
If I can give any advice toanybody starting, it's believe
in yourself.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
So all of those things, I think it's none of
their damn business.
Be okay with just saying no, Gofuck yourself.
Look at the big picture andkind of wind it down backward.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
And I think the reoccurring theme is who's your
circle, who's your tribe, who?

Speaker 1 (54:04):
do you surround yourself with, because you can
borrow belief from them whenyou're having a low moment.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
It's a really good one today.
It's a really good nugget fortoday.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
I tell you what I wouldn't have the confidence or
the courage to do this podcastif it wasn't for you.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Thanks, Well, me neither, for sure.
I just knew I wanted to dosomething.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
Well, and I want to add, what you started with, is
all of you out there subscribing, tuning in, liking and giving
us that?

Speaker 2 (54:31):
feedback Very much so .

Speaker 1 (54:32):
You've given us a little bit of confidence to keep
coming out here and to addingmore and more and more.
Very much so Because if nobodytuned in, you're like what if
nobody watches right?

Speaker 2 (54:41):
Were you guys there?
Did you see my screenshot ofthe message yesterday when I was
like, my cousin reaches out tome and said oh my God, I'm
addicted, it's so funny.
Blah, blah, blah.
Whatever I go, it wasn't dumb.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Like did you like it?
That's imposter syndrome, rightthere, see, that's what you had
, and so how did you get overthat?
I sent, and so how did you getover that?
I said to you guys.
I said look at this, okay, soso there's the evidence right
there, it's the circle.
Your circle lifts you up.
If you don't have good peoplearound you, go find them.
Yeah, go find new people.
If you don't, if you havepeople that are dragging you
down and not lifting you up, getrid of them and go find I am

(55:17):
away with that one.
Go find new people go find waittill the last minute to get the
best nugget.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
That was the best nugget.
Go find new people Right.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Like who you surround yourself matters, and if you
don't have people who arelifting you up and you know what
Someone sent me here I amrambling now.
We're going a little over today.
Oh, sorry, guys, but someoneposted and they said a woman
thing like do you find thatwomen around you lift each other
up or are they like, talkbehind your back and pull each

(55:45):
other down?
And I commented on their post,their Facebook post, and I said
it depends on your people.
If you have the right people,they will lift you up.
And I said I know I have theright people around me because
when I don't feel have it all inme, you guys lift me up.
And when you sent that, we werethere to lift you.
We lift each other up.
And it doesn't just have to bewomen like.

(56:05):
But we do that for the women inour circle.
We don't pick each other apartor drag each other down, and I
love love that about us, me tooso there you go if you don't
have the right people go get ridof them go find, new ones go
find go find new people and onthat note so we good nuggets.
I think there were greatnuggets today.
Nuggets today so we are superexcited to bring you these

(56:28):
conversations every single week,so make sure you subscribe and
follow us.
Follow spotify, amazon, iheartradio and now hey, what are we
doing next week?

Speaker 2 (56:40):
are we having a guest ?
You?

Speaker 1 (56:41):
know it'll be a surprise, so so don't miss an
episode.
And um go, let's go do someepic shit.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
Let's, let's, we're, it's coming, you should do it
too.
Yep, absolutely peace out.