September 3, 2023 • 35 mins
Prepare to embark on a spiritual journey with our esteemed guest, Kyle Golden, as we shed light on an important but often overlooked aspect of our lives - our purpose, freedom, and legacy. Kyle’s own journey is not one of simplicity but rather a complex battle of overcoming personal struggles with lust and the strength found in vulnerability. Listen in as he shares his experience of navigating through temptations and the pivotal role discipline played in his life.
As we navigate further into this enlightening conversation, we’ll touch upon the power of prayer and spiritual discipline. The discussion takes a deep dive into the importance of good physical health in serving the Lord and the menacing role of distractions, such as social media, in our spiritual journey. Do you truly understand the power of prayer? Have you ever considered the significance of an intercessor? Kyle discusses these elements, bringing a fresh perspective to the table.
Lastly, we venture into the fascinating world of biblical masculinity. Could it help us stand stronger in the face of truth? Kyle’s powerful conviction leading to his marriage just four days later serves as a testament to this. We also ponder upon how fear of the Lord can lead to wisdom and discernment and the potential pitfalls of taking God's grace and mercy for granted. Join us for this insightful conversation to expand your understanding and strengthen your spiritual foundation.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, y'all this episode.
We're gonna continue theconversation with my man's, Kyle
Golden.
He's gonna answer some morequestions.
We're gonna dive into some moreof his story.
I can't wait.
So, without further ado, let'sget to it, that's I mean.
So, after seeing that, likekind of give, kind of give, give
(00:26):
me an example of how, how doingthat work has kind of changed
my mindset your mindset, becauseyou know my brand and my
mission.
My mandate in life is to youknow, I have one with my wife
and I have one that the Lord'sreally, really awakening and
pushing forward for, for men andfor people in general, is to
(00:48):
really see a life of purpose,freedom and legacy.
And how has, how?
Has doing the work mentally andspiritually and emotionally,
how's doing that work helped youin your purpose or in your, in
(01:09):
your freedom, my freedom and,most importantly, your legacy?
You could, you could pick one,or you can touch on all three.
But purpose, freedom and legacy.
I'm gonna go with freedom.
All right, let's go, let's getit Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
So as freedom, I can tell you, before I I got myself
into a lot of situations.
I guess you could say growingup, and if I would have
implemented y'all, y'all got tolearn that this man Stan.
Jackson.
He lives in my head rent free.
I really need to be chargingthis man some rent.
(01:44):
But he used to always instillin me this is early on, this is
before I was even.
I was still in that process,going through counseling.
They were still trying to getme to do the discipleship group
at this point.
But he would call me and he'dbe like are you implementing the
three G's?
I'd be like the three G's, whatare you talking about?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
What's the?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
three G's man.
He's like you got a, you got aguide Yep Guide.
You got a guard Guard Yep and aguide guard and a gauge, Engage
.
You got to gauge yoursituations that you're in and I
never really understood that.
And then discernment came intothe came into the picture and
(02:23):
I'm thinking even.
You say discernment all thetime and I never really
understood it until I startedgetting my faith, until I
started waking up and getting mydevotion time and really
starting to listen.
And in listening and sittingback and listening and getting
quiet and getting real again,that time of the Lord, he
started to reveal things to me,things that I was weakened.
(02:46):
Some of the things I wasweakened, I'll talk about it.
A lot of men I feel like somemen are scared to talk about it,
but I'm not scared to talkabout it because in our
weaknesses he makes us strong.
Yes, that's word.
And this was a weakness I hadand I think it's a weakness a
lot of men have as well and thatweakness was, it was lust.
It was lust, plain and simple.
(03:08):
It was lust Absolutely.
I had problems with pornographyas a child growing up and in
this, in my spiritual journey,in my spiritual acceleration, if
I was to sit here and tell youthat there weren't attacks, I'd
be lying.
Come on, man.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm like man get out of my room If anything if
anything, the attacks werestronger now than they were back
then.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Yeah, because when you bound, he ain't really got
too much, because you bound.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Exactly.
I mean if you going out and youdoing what you ain't got, what
you're not supposed to be doing,without him even trying to do
anything.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Why he?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
like man.
This man is just destroying hisown life.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
We got him on lock.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
But then when you start trying to change and you
start trying to do the work toreally get yourself in position
and in alignment is a betterword when you're trying to do
the work to get in alignment notonly in alignment with what the
Lord wants, but sometimes wehave to get in alignment with
our families, get in alignmentwith our spouses, get in
alignment with those in ourinner circle, so that we can
(04:15):
work together to accomplish theassignment that the Lord has for
us.
In this season, and when theenemy sees that man he like hold
up, my man's making some movesthat I ain't really approving of
, I got to start doing somestuff.
I got to start putting somestuff in front of them.
I got to start sending somethings to them.
(04:37):
I got to start, you knowwhatever, an old flame trying to
connect, or you know somepeople trying to, and I mean
some weird things.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, I'm talking to the point and this will get.
This goes into why.
Because I had to do a absent,absent, absonance, absonance,
sorry, I'm talking about there.
Absonance from Facebook.
Yeah, and how that started is,you know, sunday, after church,
you know, me and the wife werehanging out on the couch.
I'm scrolling through Facebook.
All of a sudden, pornographypops up on my Facebook page.
(05:10):
Come to find out a couple ofweeks later, during this fast
app standing from Facebook, twoother guys was a sponsorship
group.
Same thing I said.
I ain't seen that.
I mean, we're real, we'revulnerable.
We're vulnerable in my deceptionclass, so like I haven't seen
points, as I was kid and itpopped up and I was like man.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Don't give me that, bro.
I said, you just tell me.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
And we're talking about Facebook here.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Like we're talking about Facebook.
Like if I was living my oldways.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
And I was scrolling the pornography.
I could see it then.
But, man, when I get on theinternet, I'm just looking to
buy some books off of Amazon andget some protein here and there
, you know.
So when I saw that, I knew Isaid no, no, no.
I said that's an attack, comeon.
I said I need to step away fromthat.
That's right man, I need to stepaway because I couldn't, I
(06:05):
didn't even want the temptationthere to draw me back into my
old ways, Come on.
So I said absolutely not.
So I looked at my wife.
I said I'm deleting Facebookand Instagram.
Look, I'm getting clean off ofit.
Come on, I'm going.
Pastor Jason's been speakingabout this 21 day fast.
He even said you get offFacebook.
You need to even set it.
(06:25):
Heard him saying so.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
I said no one.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Make it plain, Lord, make it plain, I'm gonna put it
away and to some people it maynot be much, but I feel like
social media has such aninfluence on today's day and age
.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It's a we live in an influencer society.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
I mean influencer marketing,influencer personalities.
It wasn't a big thing like five, 10 years ago.
You know, it was just very fewpeople.
You know, you had the big, bigpeople who had like hundreds of
thousands, you know millions offollowers.
But now it's ridiculous,everybody trying to be an
(07:01):
influencer.
Everybody, bro, I'm trying tobe an influencer, hey, hey.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
But let me tell you all you little influencers in
the gym that want to be therewith your cameras, in my way,
and tripods yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Chill out, chill out.
I'm trying to get this word.
I'm about to make you duty.
I'm finally gonna show you thecorrect form.
I've been working out threemonths and I'm about to train
you on this form.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I'm about to get my certifications.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
So holl at your boy, Yo holl at Cal for the personal
training Get that body right.
Get that body right, man.
I was talking to you, man.
I just told you this the otherday, man, that the Lord was
convicted me about my physicalhealth.
Man, it's just just being lazy,not hitting it like I used to.
Man, and I was like Lord.
(07:42):
I feel you.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I'm gonna get look man.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I heard a preacher say don't let your, don't let
your body keep you from whereGod is trying to take you.
Oh, he said some people canonly go so far in life because
they physically can't handle itanymore.
Like I don't want to be thatguy he be.
(08:06):
Like God says man, I want somuch more for you, but you out
of breath and I'm like oh snapsBoy, you got three boys chasing
around the block or something.
Man oh man.
So you know it's important,it's important to be in shape
man.
look at Jesus man.
This man walked everywhere.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
You know, that's cardio on lock and he had people
following him.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Boy, and when he said following, he literally meant
it Like you look behind him andthey walking with him.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
They're trying to be in his dust.
I want to be in that man's dust, come on.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So you know, physical , the physical, is very like.
Our physical health is veryimportant, and we'll talk about
this on another episode, but ourmental health impacts our
physical.
And vice versa, yeah, and viceversa.
You know, sometimes when you'renot in physical shape, it
affects how you feel mentallythe fog, the drowsiness, the
(09:00):
laziness.
It's just tough sometimes, man.
I'ma just say it.
So I might make a like aseparate content piece on this.
But somebody sent me I don'thave it to pull up now but maybe
I'll show it later but somebodysent me a clip of Kevin Gates.
(09:27):
He's like a secular rapper,kevin Gates, and the man was
talking about his health and howhe went on like a three week no
water, no food.
Oh, he went fast, fast.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
For three weeks.
For three weeks, no water, nofood, nothing, nothing.
Oh, he heard from the Lord.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
No, he didn't.
He did this through demonicstrength.
Oh, he went like that.
Yes, this man said.
This man said he messed withthe wrong spirits.
This man said that he wasputting his body in submission
for other spirits to talk andlive through him.
(10:13):
And somebody still said theywas like man.
What you think about this?
And he was going on talkingabout how his mom had him with
an angel and he was birthed thatway and that he acts to come
into this world.
So that he could up his rank inthe demonic spiritual realm.
(10:35):
And they was like yo, man, thisis like.
This is going on.
And the person who sent me theclip was like yo.
Why is the enemy soldiers moredisciplined than the lords?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Bro, I was like yo.
This man fasted for three weeksto hear from the devil to open
himself up to receive fromsomeone other than God.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Bro, but think about what you just said, though.
Why is the?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
enemy, the enemy soldiers are more disciplined
and dedicated than the lords.
Now, that's a blanket statement.
There are some that's reallyrocking and doing the work and
being who they're supposed to be.
But that convicted me, dude,hard.
I was just like yo, I got somuch truth.
(11:39):
But what am I doing to reallyposition myself, to be in
alignment with the Lord, to hearfrom him?
Because when you can't hearfrom God, man, it's usually
something that's blocking, it'ssomething hindering that.
That's hindering that, whetherthat's physical, whether that's
distractions in you too busy,maybe it's just your health.
(12:01):
And sometimes I know, for me,whenever I'm fasting from food
and I'm just going on a wateronly or no water, no liquid man,
I can hear clearer than a mugfrom the Lord.
Imagine what them cast hairfrom demons when they like that.
I don't even want to know, dude.
So I was like God, I repent,dude.
(12:24):
I just was just like, look, Ineed to get right, I need to get
in some good shape, because yougot people like there was a.
There was a.
I was listening to an interviewfrom a lady.
She was, she was, she was likea new age witch or something,
(12:47):
and she was like an evangelist,like though, like she was
evangelizing witchcraft, likeshe was going out converting
mugs converting cats towitchcraft like heavy.
And then God got a hold over andshe started doing that for the
Lord.
But she was just saying howthere will be weeks and months
where she would be on arestricted diet so that she can
(13:12):
be empowered to go out and winpeople to witchcraft.
And I was just like, look, howmany week people we got this
sustaining from the desires andthe pleasures of the flesh to
win souls for the kingdom, man,dude, come on, come on.
And so I was just like, look,man, I never want to be in a
(13:34):
position to where my physicalhealth cannot carry me with.
The Lord wants to take me.
Some of us be like look man, Ifeel like the Lord leave me in
Africa, but I and I can't walkthat far.
Like in them, villages is apretty far.
Yeah, you got to walkeverywhere sometimes, and
especially if you're out thereand I'm just like, look man, you
know God is God of grace andmercy and everyone's not called
(13:58):
to that.
But at some point we got to begood witnesses.
You got to be good witnessesand I don't know how we got to
this.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
But we're just letting this flow.
I talked to my brother.
I said how you want to do this.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
He said we're going to let it flow, listen because
because that's how it is inprayer and I think a lot of
times let me make this clearBefore I'm anything, I'm an
intercessor, before I'm anything, I'm an intercessor.
And so a lot of times the Lordhas shown me some stuff and I'll
be praying and I won't saynothing to no one.
And sometimes I had a brotherfrom Texas who hit me up and he
(14:36):
was like, he was like look man,this is what I'm going through,
blah, blah, blah.
And at first I thought Godwanted me to give him some
counsel, some advice, becausethe Lord had been having me on a
counseling tip, counseling alot of people.
But, like I said before anything, I'm an intercessor.
And I was just like look man, Ireally believe the Lord just
(14:58):
had you share that to me so thatI can be praying for you
intensely for the next few weeksuntil it breaks.
And he was like bet.
He was like bet, I think that'sthe Lord.
I think that's like he's likeyou know what?
Yeah, I think that's the Lord.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Is he a believer?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's astrong believer.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
And so he just was like I don't know what this is,
but the Lord was showing me likethis is a spiritual attack
against you and your family, andhe just needed some
reinforcements.
You need some reinforcements.
And what the Lord was showingme was just like, look, man,
this guy has been attacked andthere's not really anyone around
him who can really stand inthat gap and really fight him,
(15:41):
fight that, fight that he needs,so he can feel the camaraderie
of the prayers and stuff.
And so I was just like, yeah,man, I'm just going to pray, I'm
just going to be an intercessorfor you.
And I was like, just let meknow when this is better.
(16:03):
Let me know when this breaks andhe's like bet, and that's what
it is, and I've just beenpraying ever since.
So so I say that to say beforeanything, man, I am a
intercessor and I love to pray,as you know.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
I love to pray man.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
And prayer.
Prayer changes things, man, Ithink.
Stands at my door Stand them onJackson, Come on bro.
Oh man, have a seat, bro.
Oh man, so we got, we got, wegot our brother standing.
He's.
He's off the camera, but he'sgoing to be coming up soon, next
(16:41):
, next, but no man, I was justtalking before anything.
I'm an intercessor Before, yes,before anything.
Yes, we are, we areintercessors.
And so, before I try to sayanything or try to give anything
or try to fix anything, I'velearned they're doing the work
of just being in God's presence.
(17:02):
Yes, that sometimes the bestwork we can do is pray.
Yes, yes, yes, yeah, come on,man, come on.
So, look man, so, yeah, sothat's, that's before anything.
(17:24):
I'm an intercession man, butbut, yeah, that's, that's
exciting.
So we were talking about thephysical hell, mm-hmm, and, and,
and I, I was, I was sharing howI was.
I told you guys, I wasconvicted about not I, but I.
(17:58):
I had that problem and mybrother Kyle made a very good
point when we prayed about it.
He was like, look Harold,sometimes the Lord he's a.
I thank God for you guys,because what you may be weak in,
I may be strong, yeah, and whatI may be weak in, you may be
strong, mm-hmm, and that iron,sharp as iron.
But you know, somebody gotta besharp.
(18:20):
Yeah, can't have twobutternights, no.
So.
So I appreciate that becauseyou know I I have brothers in my
life that really keep meaccountable and and really
Desire that that relationshipand so yeah man, so yeah we're
(18:45):
we at maybe kind of has beenbouncing over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you were saying how, how?
The freedom, the freedom, yeah,doing the work has really
changed your freedom, andespecially the discernment yes,
and guide, garden and guideguarding the three G's yes, the
(19:05):
three G's, yes, stan was thisliving in your man over here.
Right here, this man rent freein my head, but but the three
G's is important yes or, and youknow To do that.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
I guess, in that freedom it really it just goes
back to vulnerability and yeah,even with no disrespect
disrespect, athena, but thosejust things as a man Especially,
absolutely a man of God andthat's why I felt like the
podcast was geared towards man,because it's no shy to women are
(19:42):
disrespectful women are anybodyfor that matter.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah, it's just that you know, men need a safe place
to be men.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Yes, yes, yes To, because we are men.
Men do have desires, sexualdesires regardless.
Yeah, you know, it's just keepit playing here.
I mean absolutely, absolutely,it's true.
And there were times where Iwas having desires and Obviously
, I've mentioned my wife ispregnant.
(20:10):
You know, come on, there'sgonna be some days you're gonna
be like get away from me, don'ttouch me.
You know, that's real talk.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
It's.
This means real talk you know Ihave kids.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Maybe you don't understand if you do then you
know what I'm talking about.
Yeah yeah so, but I there wasone morning, I think I don't
know I Spoke with you about it.
I think I think Stan wasresting that day.
I had a high eight so I I gotthe herald of this one but I
(20:45):
talked.
I cleaned up, talking Stanlater on that afternoon.
But I woke up and I just wasjust aroused and in the past I
probably would have gave intothat arousal, Absolutely man,
and got into pornography or goton social media lusted at some
girl and I was like, uh-uh, Ican't do this, come on, and I'm
(21:08):
just gonna keep it playing, Ihopped in my truck.
Usually I leave my house around6.30,.
I'm talking to him.
I hopped in my truck at 6 amand I did.
I straight up, did I'm drivingaround out in the country and I
was talking to Harold on thephone because I was like this is
an attack from the enemy.
Yes, I'd see that now.
Yes, because I'm practicingdiscernment and judging, well
(21:29):
Listen.
So I was like I need to get outof this situation.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
So I got out of it.
There is wisdom in having ahealthy fear of the Lord.
Amen, the fear of the Lord willkeep you.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Yes for real.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
The fear of the Lord, and it's not like a fear, it's
like I'm afraid to go to hell.
But let me tell you, I wasraised in a denomination that
only preached fire, in Brampton,and so, like I'm gonna tell you
this story because it's similarto yours, but on another
extreme.
So I was in college, right, andI was rooming with a Nigerian
(22:15):
roommate by way of Canada.
So his parents lived in Canada,but they were from Nigeria.
His brother was dark.
This brother was dark.
His brother was dark.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
His brother was dark.
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
But he used to always try to like he had a.
I was like a player and he wasjust like a staunch like woman I
pay too much for these pans,you better not rub up against
them, and so.
But so we had this thing, youknow.
So I was, I was inviting a girlover to the room and so I put
(23:02):
the little thing on the door,let him know that I had company.
And he was.
This man yelled through thedoor let's go, mcgee.
And she was like what's that?
That's not, that's not, that'smy roommate.
Let me know that he he gonnacome back later.
And so the girl this is this isreal, true story.
(23:25):
The girl was ready, like shecame with intentions, and I've
never felt a conviction like Ifelt in my now.
Look, I wasn't, I wasn't livingfor the Jesus.
I had her, I knew who he was.
I had a relationship as a kidbut I had backslide, like, like
detour backslide.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Like.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I wasn't like backsliding on the road that I
was on, like I was likebackslide, was like all right,
I'm gonna go this way, yeah, wow.
And so I hadn't reallyexperienced God's presence in
like over a year.
And I was in that room, bro,and the presence of the Lord was
(24:10):
there and scared to live indaylight out of me.
I looked at her and I was likeyo, you gotta go.
She was like what's youroutside?
You gotta get up out of here.
Fear of God she was like youknow, I go.
I'm like, nah, she's likewhat's wrong, am I?
It's nothing wrong with you,but you gotta go.
I literally thought I was gonnago to hell if I did something
(24:34):
with her.
I felt so convicted by Jesus,by the Holy Spirit, and I ain't
never.
This is why I haven't felt thepresence in so long that when I
felt it and I knew I wasn'tliving right, I was like either
I'm gonna die or this is thedecision that's gonna send me to
hell.
I'm gonna die Bro.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
That's interesting.
So a lot of people don't thinkthat our behavior is compounded?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Oh, definitely.
So you have a compound interestthey could go negative because
you just storing it up.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
They could be in a way, but there is a price to pay
.
The Bible talks about inGalatians 6 and 9.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, you know when it talks about you.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Whatever you sow, sow in a flesh you're gonna reap it
so a spirit as well.
Whatever you sow in a spirit,yeah.
So that was your warning, thatyou know that your days were
numbered.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Absolutely, and you keep going on this path,
absolutely, people takeadvantage of God's grace and
mercy, and that's exactly what Iwas doing.
I was taking advantage of God'sgrace and mercy and I don't
mean to get kind of interroof nono no, you're good Because you
lead me into my next thing how Igot convicted.
Yeah, so I was taking it becauseI knew better, bro.
I had given my life to the Lordin middle school and I had, you
(25:49):
know, dabble with some stuff inhigh school, but I still had
like some conviction that I knewI was gonna go too far.
But in college all the strengthwas off, bro.
Yeah, it was like you know andin that moment I felt the
tangible presence and fear ofthe Lord and I was like yo, I'm
not finna mess with this.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I'm not, I'm not finna mess with this.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
And I kicked her out of my room, bro.
And, funny story, I woke up thenext day.
Well, I was woken up the nextday by a neighbor who wanted to
borrow my bike to ride to classcause he was running a little
bit late.
And he was like, hey, let megive me, give me a lock.
So I mean, give me your keys soI can get your.
Can I ride your bike to class,Cause it's across campus?
I was like no problem, man, andhe went down to get my bike and
(26:33):
he will.
Came back upstairs he was like,bro, I don't know what you did,
but somebody slit your biketires.
Bro, the girl I kicked out hadcut my bike tires.
Doug, what you upset.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Petty bro.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Bro, and not knowing what was attached to that.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
And here's the grace, here's the grace in it all.
Just imagine if I had got asoul tie with her from sleeping
with her, and that would havebeen on my life?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Cut them bike tires.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Save my soul.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
That's the question I know you about to go into.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
That's good.
Were you doing like at thatmoment, in that very present
moment?
Were you like drinking or anykind of narcotics or anything
like that?
No, so here's the thing this iswhat people do, and that's why
the enemy always want you todrink and smoke and all that to
numb you so you won't get a.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
As my parents will say, I was in my right mind.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Right right, right, yeah,
but I just wanted to let youknow no, I had, no, I had.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
So the question was was I under any type of
substance or influence?
So, no, I was not under, and,interestingly enough though, I
met her.
I didn't even think about thistill now.
Yo, I met old girl because Ihad got high with some friends
from East St Louis and they hadlike it was overkill, bro, I'm
(27:59):
talking about overkill, and shewas there, and that's how we met
over blunt, but I'll say thatto say man.
So I met this girl aroundsubstances, drinking and smoking
.
But I was in my right mind whenwe were in this encounter and,
(28:24):
bro, it scared me.
I felt conviction like I'venever felt it before and I was
just like you gotta go, like yougotta get out of my room, out
of my room, out of my presence.
But yeah, man, I was takingadvantage of the Lord's grace
and had that the Lord wasprotecting me, because had I
(28:48):
slept with her, there definitelywould have been some type of
soul tie there, yeah for sure,and that could have ended really
badly, especially if I wouldhave tried to pursue her in a
relationship type of way andwe'll talk about something like
that later.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Can I touch on that conviction?
Speaker 1 (29:07):
real quick.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
This is your time.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I saw this one get back to this earlier.
The Lord, he convicted me in adifferent way.
He actually convicted me when Iwas engaged.
While I was engaged, me and mynow wife were living together.
It all started out as like adomino effect.
Layton, my son got baptized,olivia got baptized, I got
baptized back to back to backthree weeks in a row.
(29:32):
And one day I remember talkingto Stan.
I said man, I said I don't feelright, come on.
He's like what do you mean?
I said man, like what kind of acause?
Stan would always, he wouldalways put my head like man,
you're a leader.
Now You're a leader for thekingdom.
You have to act in that.
And I had people come up to meand church people I'd never met
before and they say I just wantyou to know that I see you for
(29:56):
who you are.
You're a mighty man of God.
And that stuck in the back ofmy head.
But then I started to getconvicted.
I'm like, if I'm a mighty manof God, then why am I living
with my fiance and practicing infortifications?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
and things of that nature.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
I'm like that's not a good example.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Like what am I doing here?
Speaker 3 (30:18):
But the thing about it was is I was scared because,
she's obviously.
At the time she was a single.
She would have been a singlemother, so she was getting state
assistance and things of thatnature.
With the legal situation I hadgoing on down in Texas, my funds
were.
They were a little low as well.
I moved back.
So, be just honest, I wasscared.
(30:39):
But in this conviction it'sfunny how it happened.
There was one time at ourchurch during church service,
somebody had lost a ring.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
I remember that service A wedding ring.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I remember that service, pastor Jason's up there
this happens on multipleoccasions and this was the
second time that I knew.
But there's another brother,what's his name?
He sings.
He helped Justin, justin Venus.
But Pastor Jason was like hey,I got a ring, if you guys need
it Justin Kyle looks great athim Call us out In the middle of
(31:13):
service.
We're not in a small servicehere.
He called us out and I'm likeman, all right, and then that
Wednesday first Wednesday againnobody's taking the ring.
Yet he does it again.
That next Thursday I calledStan.
I said man, I was like that's,I was like I'm starting to kind
(31:36):
of get into this, into myspiritual majority and things.
I was like Pastor Jason justthought that was a joke.
But no, that wasn't a joke.
That was the Lord.
It's the vine.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I was like the vine slept upside down.
I was like no, no, no.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
I was like he's like well, when, well, how quick are
you trying to do it?
And I said I'm going to get mymarriage license, like.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Friday.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
And he's like well, you need to get ahold of Pastor
Michael.
Pastor Michael was like well,when can we do it?
I was like well, I know it'sMother's Day this Sunday, but
can we do it?
Then?
He's like yep.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
We're going to Pastor Jason's office.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
So four days later I'm getting married.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
in the past I'm like, come on On Mother's Day.
On Mother's Day, convictionthat leads to marriage.
Like, give it up, give it up,and it was like it was to the
point I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I couldn't sleep, I just I didn't feel right.
I just felt off and I was likeI don't want to live like this
anymore.
I'm a mighty man of God.
Yeah, I want to be who he'scalled me to be.
I want to be an example.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Come on, come on.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
I'm just here to say there are some bad examples of
what man is nowadays which I'm.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
that's probably like a whole another podcast, yeah,
but that's.
At some point we will discussGod's definition of man and the
world.
Actually, I won't get into it,but I was having a conversation
with a guy in a barbershop lastweek about biblical masculinity.
(33:08):
Biblical masculinity.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
And it was.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
It was a really good conversation, because there's
not enough people standing upfor true biblical masculinity.
And yeah, man, yes, we'll talkabout that later, that's another
(33:31):
time.
All right, y'all this episode.
We're gonna continue theconversation with my man's, Kyle
Golden.
He's gonna answer some morequestions.
We're gonna dive into some moreof his story.
I can't wait.
So, without further ado, let'sget to it, that's I mean.
So, after seeing that, likekind of give, kind of give, give
(00:26):
me an example of how, how doingthat work has kind of changed
my mindset your mindset, becauseyou know my brand and my
mission.
My mandate in life is to youknow, I have one with my wife
and I have one that the Lord'sreally, really awakening and
pushing forward for, for men andfor people in general, is to
(00:48):
really see a life of purpose,freedom and legacy.
And how has, how?
Has doing the work mentally andspiritually and emotionally,
how's doing that work helped youin your purpose or in your, in
(01:09):
your freedom, my freedom and,most importantly, your legacy?
You could, you could pick one,or you can touch on all three.
But purpose, freedom and legacy.
I'm gonna go with freedom.
All right, let's go, let's getit Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
So as freedom, I can tell you, before I I got myself
into a lot of situations.
I guess you could say growingup, and if I would have
implemented y'all, y'all got tolearn that this man Stan.
Jackson.
He lives in my head rent free.
I really need to be chargingthis man some rent.
(01:44):
But he used to always instillin me this is early on, this is
before I was even.
I was still in that process,going through counseling.
They were still trying to getme to do the discipleship group
at this point.
But he would call me and he'dbe like are you implementing the
three G's?
I'd be like the three G's, whatare you talking about?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
What's the?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
three G's man.
He's like you got a, you got aguide Yep Guide.
You got a guard Guard Yep and aguide guard and a gauge, Engage
.
You got to gauge yoursituations that you're in and I
never really understood that.
And then discernment came intothe came into the picture and
(02:23):
I'm thinking even.
You say discernment all thetime and I never really
understood it until I startedgetting my faith, until I
started waking up and getting mydevotion time and really
starting to listen.
And in listening and sittingback and listening and getting
quiet and getting real again,that time of the Lord, he
started to reveal things to me,things that I was weakened.
(02:46):
Some of the things I wasweakened, I'll talk about it.
A lot of men I feel like somemen are scared to talk about it,
but I'm not scared to talkabout it because in our
weaknesses he makes us strong.
Yes, that's word.
And this was a weakness I hadand I think it's a weakness a
lot of men have as well and thatweakness was, it was lust.
It was lust, plain and simple.
(03:08):
It was lust Absolutely.
I had problems with pornographyas a child growing up and in
this, in my spiritual journey,in my spiritual acceleration, if
I was to sit here and tell youthat there weren't attacks, I'd
be lying.
Come on, man.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm like man get out of my room If anything if
anything, the attacks werestronger now than they were back
then.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Yeah, because when you bound, he ain't really got
too much, because you bound.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Exactly.
I mean if you going out and youdoing what you ain't got, what
you're not supposed to be doing,without him even trying to do
anything.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Why he?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
like man.
This man is just destroying hisown life.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
We got him on lock.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
But then when you start trying to change and you
start trying to do the work toreally get yourself in position
and in alignment is a betterword when you're trying to do
the work to get in alignment notonly in alignment with what the
Lord wants, but sometimes wehave to get in alignment with
our families, get in alignmentwith our spouses, get in
alignment with those in ourinner circle, so that we can
(04:15):
work together to accomplish theassignment that the Lord has for
us.
In this season, and when theenemy sees that man he like hold
up, my man's making some movesthat I ain't really approving of
, I got to start doing somestuff.
I got to start putting somestuff in front of them.
I got to start sending somethings to them.
(04:37):
I got to start, you knowwhatever, an old flame trying to
connect, or you know somepeople trying to, and I mean
some weird things.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, I'm talking to the point and this will get.
This goes into why.
Because I had to do a absent,absent, absonance, absonance,
sorry, I'm talking about there.
Absonance from Facebook.
Yeah, and how that started is,you know, sunday, after church,
you know, me and the wife werehanging out on the couch.
I'm scrolling through Facebook.
All of a sudden, pornographypops up on my Facebook page.
(05:10):
Come to find out a couple ofweeks later, during this fast
app standing from Facebook, twoother guys was a sponsorship
group.
Same thing I said.
I ain't seen that.
I mean, we're real, we'revulnerable.
We're vulnerable in my deceptionclass, so like I haven't seen
points, as I was kid and itpopped up and I was like man.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Don't give me that, bro.
I said, you just tell me.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
And we're talking about Facebook here.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Like we're talking about Facebook.
Like if I was living my oldways.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
And I was scrolling the pornography.
I could see it then.
But, man, when I get on theinternet, I'm just looking to
buy some books off of Amazon andget some protein here and there
, you know.
So when I saw that, I knew Isaid no, no, no.
I said that's an attack, comeon.
I said I need to step away fromthat.
That's right man, I need to stepaway because I couldn't, I
(06:05):
didn't even want the temptationthere to draw me back into my
old ways, Come on.
So I said absolutely not.
So I looked at my wife.
I said I'm deleting Facebookand Instagram.
Look, I'm getting clean off ofit.
Come on, I'm going.
Pastor Jason's been speakingabout this 21 day fast.
He even said you get offFacebook.
You need to even set it.
(06:25):
Heard him saying so.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
I said no one.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Make it plain, Lord, make it plain, I'm gonna put it
away and to some people it maynot be much, but I feel like
social media has such aninfluence on today's day and age
.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It's a we live in an influencer society.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
I mean influencer marketing,influencer personalities.
It wasn't a big thing like five, 10 years ago.
You know, it was just very fewpeople.
You know, you had the big, bigpeople who had like hundreds of
thousands, you know millions offollowers.
But now it's ridiculous,everybody trying to be an
(07:01):
influencer.
Everybody, bro, I'm trying tobe an influencer, hey, hey.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
But let me tell you all you little influencers in
the gym that want to be therewith your cameras, in my way,
and tripods yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Chill out, chill out.
I'm trying to get this word.
I'm about to make you duty.
I'm finally gonna show you thecorrect form.
I've been working out threemonths and I'm about to train
you on this form.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I'm about to get my certifications.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
So holl at your boy, Yo holl at Cal for the personal
training Get that body right.
Get that body right, man.
I was talking to you, man.
I just told you this the otherday, man, that the Lord was
convicted me about my physicalhealth.
Man, it's just just being lazy,not hitting it like I used to.
Man, and I was like Lord.
(07:42):
I feel you.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I'm gonna get look man.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I heard a preacher say don't let your, don't let
your body keep you from whereGod is trying to take you.
Oh, he said some people canonly go so far in life because
they physically can't handle itanymore.
Like I don't want to be thatguy he be.
(08:06):
Like God says man, I want somuch more for you, but you out
of breath and I'm like oh snapsBoy, you got three boys chasing
around the block or something.
Man oh man.
So you know it's important,it's important to be in shape
man.
look at Jesus man.
This man walked everywhere.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
You know, that's cardio on lock and he had people
following him.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Boy, and when he said following, he literally meant
it Like you look behind him andthey walking with him.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
They're trying to be in his dust.
I want to be in that man's dust, come on.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So you know, physical , the physical, is very like.
Our physical health is veryimportant, and we'll talk about
this on another episode, but ourmental health impacts our
physical.
And vice versa, yeah, and viceversa.
You know, sometimes when you'renot in physical shape, it
affects how you feel mentallythe fog, the drowsiness, the
(09:00):
laziness.
It's just tough sometimes, man.
I'ma just say it.
So I might make a like aseparate content piece on this.
But somebody sent me I don'thave it to pull up now but maybe
I'll show it later but somebodysent me a clip of Kevin Gates.
(09:27):
He's like a secular rapper,kevin Gates, and the man was
talking about his health and howhe went on like a three week no
water, no food.
Oh, he went fast, fast.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
For three weeks.
For three weeks, no water, nofood, nothing, nothing.
Oh, he heard from the Lord.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
No, he didn't.
He did this through demonicstrength.
Oh, he went like that.
Yes, this man said.
This man said he messed withthe wrong spirits.
This man said that he wasputting his body in submission
for other spirits to talk andlive through him.
(10:13):
And somebody still said theywas like man.
What you think about this?
And he was going on talkingabout how his mom had him with
an angel and he was birthed thatway and that he acts to come
into this world.
So that he could up his rank inthe demonic spiritual realm.
(10:35):
And they was like yo, man, thisis like.
This is going on.
And the person who sent me theclip was like yo.
Why is the enemy soldiers moredisciplined than the lords?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Bro, I was like yo.
This man fasted for three weeksto hear from the devil to open
himself up to receive fromsomeone other than God.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Bro, but think about what you just said, though.
Why is the?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
enemy, the enemy soldiers are more disciplined
and dedicated than the lords.
Now, that's a blanket statement.
There are some that's reallyrocking and doing the work and
being who they're supposed to be.
But that convicted me, dude,hard.
I was just like yo, I got somuch truth.
(11:39):
But what am I doing to reallyposition myself, to be in
alignment with the Lord, to hearfrom him?
Because when you can't hearfrom God, man, it's usually
something that's blocking, it'ssomething hindering that.
That's hindering that, whetherthat's physical, whether that's
distractions in you too busy,maybe it's just your health.
(12:01):
And sometimes I know, for me,whenever I'm fasting from food
and I'm just going on a wateronly or no water, no liquid man,
I can hear clearer than a mugfrom the Lord.
Imagine what them cast hairfrom demons when they like that.
I don't even want to know, dude.
So I was like God, I repent,dude.
(12:24):
I just was just like, look, Ineed to get right, I need to get
in some good shape, because yougot people like there was a.
There was a.
I was listening to an interviewfrom a lady.
She was, she was, she was likea new age witch or something,
(12:47):
and she was like an evangelist,like though, like she was
evangelizing witchcraft, likeshe was going out converting
mugs converting cats towitchcraft like heavy.
And then God got a hold over andshe started doing that for the
Lord.
But she was just saying howthere will be weeks and months
where she would be on arestricted diet so that she can
(13:12):
be empowered to go out and winpeople to witchcraft.
And I was just like, look, howmany week people we got this
sustaining from the desires andthe pleasures of the flesh to
win souls for the kingdom, man,dude, come on, come on.
And so I was just like, look,man, I never want to be in a
(13:34):
position to where my physicalhealth cannot carry me with.
The Lord wants to take me.
Some of us be like look man, Ifeel like the Lord leave me in
Africa, but I and I can't walkthat far.
Like in them, villages is apretty far.
Yeah, you got to walkeverywhere sometimes, and
especially if you're out thereand I'm just like, look man, you
know God is God of grace andmercy and everyone's not called
(13:58):
to that.
But at some point we got to begood witnesses.
You got to be good witnessesand I don't know how we got to
this.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
But we're just letting this flow.
I talked to my brother.
I said how you want to do this.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
He said we're going to let it flow, listen because
because that's how it is inprayer and I think a lot of
times let me make this clearBefore I'm anything, I'm an
intercessor, before I'm anything, I'm an intercessor.
And so a lot of times the Lordhas shown me some stuff and I'll
be praying and I won't saynothing to no one.
And sometimes I had a brotherfrom Texas who hit me up and he
(14:36):
was like, he was like look man,this is what I'm going through,
blah, blah, blah.
And at first I thought Godwanted me to give him some
counsel, some advice, becausethe Lord had been having me on a
counseling tip, counseling alot of people.
But, like I said before anything, I'm an intercessor.
And I was just like look man, Ireally believe the Lord just
(14:58):
had you share that to me so thatI can be praying for you
intensely for the next few weeksuntil it breaks.
And he was like bet.
He was like bet, I think that'sthe Lord.
I think that's like he's likeyou know what?
Yeah, I think that's the Lord.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Is he a believer?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's astrong believer.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
And so he just was like I don't know what this is,
but the Lord was showing me likethis is a spiritual attack
against you and your family, andhe just needed some
reinforcements.
You need some reinforcements.
And what the Lord was showingme was just like, look, man,
this guy has been attacked andthere's not really anyone around
him who can really stand inthat gap and really fight him,
(15:41):
fight that, fight that he needs,so he can feel the camaraderie
of the prayers and stuff.
And so I was just like, yeah,man, I'm just going to pray, I'm
just going to be an intercessorfor you.
And I was like, just let meknow when this is better.
(16:03):
Let me know when this breaks andhe's like bet, and that's what
it is, and I've just beenpraying ever since.
So so I say that to say beforeanything, man, I am a
intercessor and I love to pray,as you know.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
I love to pray man.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
And prayer.
Prayer changes things, man, Ithink.
Stands at my door Stand them onJackson, Come on bro.
Oh man, have a seat, bro.
Oh man, so we got, we got, wegot our brother standing.
He's.
He's off the camera, but he'sgoing to be coming up soon, next
(16:41):
, next, but no man, I was justtalking before anything.
I'm an intercessor Before, yes,before anything.
Yes, we are, we areintercessors.
And so, before I try to sayanything or try to give anything
or try to fix anything, I'velearned they're doing the work
of just being in God's presence.
(17:02):
Yes, that sometimes the bestwork we can do is pray.
Yes, yes, yes, yeah, come on,man, come on.
So, look man, so, yeah, sothat's, that's before anything.
(17:24):
I'm an intercession man, butbut, yeah, that's, that's
exciting.
So we were talking about thephysical hell, mm-hmm, and, and,
and I, I was, I was sharing howI was.
I told you guys, I wasconvicted about not I, but I.
(17:58):
I had that problem and mybrother Kyle made a very good
point when we prayed about it.
He was like, look Harold,sometimes the Lord he's a.
I thank God for you guys,because what you may be weak in,
I may be strong, yeah, and whatI may be weak in, you may be
strong, mm-hmm, and that iron,sharp as iron.
But you know, somebody gotta besharp.
(18:20):
Yeah, can't have twobutternights, no.
So.
So I appreciate that becauseyou know I I have brothers in my
life that really keep meaccountable and and really
Desire that that relationshipand so yeah man, so yeah we're
(18:45):
we at maybe kind of has beenbouncing over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you were saying how, how?
The freedom, the freedom, yeah,doing the work has really
changed your freedom, andespecially the discernment yes,
and guide, garden and guideguarding the three G's yes, the
(19:05):
three G's, yes, stan was thisliving in your man over here.
Right here, this man rent freein my head, but but the three
G's is important yes or, and youknow To do that.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
I guess, in that freedom it really it just goes
back to vulnerability and yeah,even with no disrespect
disrespect, athena, but thosejust things as a man Especially,
absolutely a man of God andthat's why I felt like the
podcast was geared towards man,because it's no shy to women are
(19:42):
disrespectful women are anybodyfor that matter.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah, it's just that you know, men need a safe place
to be men.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Yes, yes, yes To, because we are men.
Men do have desires, sexualdesires regardless.
Yeah, you know, it's just keepit playing here.
I mean absolutely, absolutely,it's true.
And there were times where Iwas having desires and Obviously
, I've mentioned my wife ispregnant.
(20:10):
You know, come on, there'sgonna be some days you're gonna
be like get away from me, don'ttouch me.
You know, that's real talk.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
It's.
This means real talk you know Ihave kids.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Maybe you don't understand if you do then you
know what I'm talking about.
Yeah yeah so, but I there wasone morning, I think I don't
know I Spoke with you about it.
I think I think Stan wasresting that day.
I had a high eight so I I gotthe herald of this one but I
(20:45):
talked.
I cleaned up, talking Stanlater on that afternoon.
But I woke up and I just wasjust aroused and in the past I
probably would have gave intothat arousal, Absolutely man,
and got into pornography or goton social media lusted at some
girl and I was like, uh-uh, Ican't do this, come on, and I'm
(21:08):
just gonna keep it playing, Ihopped in my truck.
Usually I leave my house around6.30,.
I'm talking to him.
I hopped in my truck at 6 amand I did.
I straight up, did I'm drivingaround out in the country and I
was talking to Harold on thephone because I was like this is
an attack from the enemy.
Yes, I'd see that now.
Yes, because I'm practicingdiscernment and judging, well
(21:29):
Listen.
So I was like I need to get outof this situation.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
So I got out of it.
There is wisdom in having ahealthy fear of the Lord.
Amen, the fear of the Lord willkeep you.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Yes for real.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
The fear of the Lord, and it's not like a fear, it's
like I'm afraid to go to hell.
But let me tell you, I wasraised in a denomination that
only preached fire, in Brampton,and so, like I'm gonna tell you
this story because it's similarto yours, but on another
extreme.
So I was in college, right, andI was rooming with a Nigerian
(22:15):
roommate by way of Canada.
So his parents lived in Canada,but they were from Nigeria.
His brother was dark.
This brother was dark.
His brother was dark.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
His brother was dark.
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
But he used to always try to like he had a.
I was like a player and he wasjust like a staunch like woman I
pay too much for these pans,you better not rub up against
them, and so.
But so we had this thing, youknow.
So I was, I was inviting a girlover to the room and so I put
(23:02):
the little thing on the door,let him know that I had company.
And he was.
This man yelled through thedoor let's go, mcgee.
And she was like what's that?
That's not, that's not, that'smy roommate.
Let me know that he he gonnacome back later.
And so the girl this is this isreal, true story.
(23:25):
The girl was ready, like shecame with intentions, and I've
never felt a conviction like Ifelt in my now.
Look, I wasn't, I wasn't livingfor the Jesus.
I had her, I knew who he was.
I had a relationship as a kidbut I had backslide, like, like
detour backslide.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Like.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I wasn't like backsliding on the road that I
was on, like I was likebackslide, was like all right,
I'm gonna go this way, yeah, wow.
And so I hadn't reallyexperienced God's presence in
like over a year.
And I was in that room, bro,and the presence of the Lord was
(24:10):
there and scared to live indaylight out of me.
I looked at her and I was likeyo, you gotta go.
She was like what's youroutside?
You gotta get up out of here.
Fear of God she was like youknow, I go.
I'm like, nah, she's likewhat's wrong, am I?
It's nothing wrong with you,but you gotta go.
I literally thought I was gonnago to hell if I did something
(24:34):
with her.
I felt so convicted by Jesus,by the Holy Spirit, and I ain't
never.
This is why I haven't felt thepresence in so long that when I
felt it and I knew I wasn'tliving right, I was like either
I'm gonna die or this is thedecision that's gonna send me to
hell.
I'm gonna die Bro.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
That's interesting.
So a lot of people don't thinkthat our behavior is compounded?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Oh, definitely.
So you have a compound interestthey could go negative because
you just storing it up.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
They could be in a way, but there is a price to pay
.
The Bible talks about inGalatians 6 and 9.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, you know when it talks about you.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Whatever you sow, sow in a flesh you're gonna reap it
so a spirit as well.
Whatever you sow in a spirit,yeah.
So that was your warning, thatyou know that your days were
numbered.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Absolutely, and you keep going on this path,
absolutely, people takeadvantage of God's grace and
mercy, and that's exactly what Iwas doing.
I was taking advantage of God'sgrace and mercy and I don't
mean to get kind of interroof nono no, you're good Because you
lead me into my next thing how Igot convicted.
Yeah, so I was taking it becauseI knew better, bro.
I had given my life to the Lordin middle school and I had, you
(25:49):
know, dabble with some stuff inhigh school, but I still had
like some conviction that I knewI was gonna go too far.
But in college all the strengthwas off, bro.
Yeah, it was like you know andin that moment I felt the
tangible presence and fear ofthe Lord and I was like yo, I'm
not finna mess with this.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I'm not, I'm not finna mess with this.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
And I kicked her out of my room, bro.
And, funny story, I woke up thenext day.
Well, I was woken up the nextday by a neighbor who wanted to
borrow my bike to ride to classcause he was running a little
bit late.
And he was like, hey, let megive me, give me a lock.
So I mean, give me your keys soI can get your.
Can I ride your bike to class,Cause it's across campus?
I was like no problem, man, andhe went down to get my bike and
(26:33):
he will.
Came back upstairs he was like,bro, I don't know what you did,
but somebody slit your biketires.
Bro, the girl I kicked out hadcut my bike tires.
Doug, what you upset.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Petty bro.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Bro, and not knowing what was attached to that.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
And here's the grace, here's the grace in it all.
Just imagine if I had got asoul tie with her from sleeping
with her, and that would havebeen on my life?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Cut them bike tires.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Save my soul.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
That's the question I know you about to go into.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
That's good.
Were you doing like at thatmoment, in that very present
moment?
Were you like drinking or anykind of narcotics or anything
like that?
No, so here's the thing this iswhat people do, and that's why
the enemy always want you todrink and smoke and all that to
numb you so you won't get a.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
As my parents will say, I was in my right mind.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Right right, right, yeah,
but I just wanted to let youknow no, I had, no, I had.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
So the question was was I under any type of
substance or influence?
So, no, I was not under, and,interestingly enough though, I
met her.
I didn't even think about thistill now.
Yo, I met old girl because Ihad got high with some friends
from East St Louis and they hadlike it was overkill, bro, I'm
(27:59):
talking about overkill, and shewas there, and that's how we met
over blunt, but I'll say thatto say man.
So I met this girl aroundsubstances, drinking and smoking
.
But I was in my right mind whenwe were in this encounter and,
(28:24):
bro, it scared me.
I felt conviction like I'venever felt it before and I was
just like you gotta go, like yougotta get out of my room, out
of my room, out of my presence.
But yeah, man, I was takingadvantage of the Lord's grace
and had that the Lord wasprotecting me, because had I
(28:48):
slept with her, there definitelywould have been some type of
soul tie there, yeah for sure,and that could have ended really
badly, especially if I wouldhave tried to pursue her in a
relationship type of way andwe'll talk about something like
that later.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Can I touch on that conviction?
Speaker 1 (29:07):
real quick.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
This is your time.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I saw this one get back to this earlier.
The Lord, he convicted me in adifferent way.
He actually convicted me when Iwas engaged.
While I was engaged, me and mynow wife were living together.
It all started out as like adomino effect.
Layton, my son got baptized,olivia got baptized, I got
baptized back to back to backthree weeks in a row.
(29:32):
And one day I remember talkingto Stan.
I said man, I said I don't feelright, come on.
He's like what do you mean?
I said man, like what kind of acause?
Stan would always, he wouldalways put my head like man,
you're a leader.
Now You're a leader for thekingdom.
You have to act in that.
And I had people come up to meand church people I'd never met
before and they say I just wantyou to know that I see you for
(29:56):
who you are.
You're a mighty man of God.
And that stuck in the back ofmy head.
But then I started to getconvicted.
I'm like, if I'm a mighty manof God, then why am I living
with my fiance and practicing infortifications?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
and things of that nature.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
I'm like that's not a good example.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Like what am I doing here?
Speaker 3 (30:18):
But the thing about it was is I was scared because,
she's obviously.
At the time she was a single.
She would have been a singlemother, so she was getting state
assistance and things of thatnature.
With the legal situation I hadgoing on down in Texas, my funds
were.
They were a little low as well.
I moved back.
So, be just honest, I wasscared.
(30:39):
But in this conviction it'sfunny how it happened.
There was one time at ourchurch during church service,
somebody had lost a ring.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
I remember that service A wedding ring.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I remember that service, pastor Jason's up there
this happens on multipleoccasions and this was the
second time that I knew.
But there's another brother,what's his name?
He sings.
He helped Justin, justin Venus.
But Pastor Jason was like hey,I got a ring, if you guys need
it Justin Kyle looks great athim Call us out In the middle of
(31:13):
service.
We're not in a small servicehere.
He called us out and I'm likeman, all right, and then that
Wednesday first Wednesday againnobody's taking the ring.
Yet he does it again.
That next Thursday I calledStan.
I said man, I was like that's,I was like I'm starting to kind
(31:36):
of get into this, into myspiritual majority and things.
I was like Pastor Jason justthought that was a joke.
But no, that wasn't a joke.
That was the Lord.
It's the vine.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I was like the vine slept upside down.
I was like no, no, no.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
I was like he's like well, when, well, how quick are
you trying to do it?
And I said I'm going to get mymarriage license, like.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Friday.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
And he's like well, you need to get ahold of Pastor
Michael.
Pastor Michael was like well,when can we do it?
I was like well, I know it'sMother's Day this Sunday, but
can we do it?
Then?
He's like yep.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
We're going to Pastor Jason's office.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
So four days later I'm getting married.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
in the past I'm like, come on On Mother's Day.
On Mother's Day, convictionthat leads to marriage.
Like, give it up, give it up,and it was like it was to the
point I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I couldn't sleep, I just I didn't feel right.
I just felt off and I was likeI don't want to live like this
anymore.
I'm a mighty man of God.
Yeah, I want to be who he'scalled me to be.
I want to be an example.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Come on, come on.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
I'm just here to say there are some bad examples of
what man is nowadays which I'm.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
that's probably like a whole another podcast, yeah,
but that's.
At some point we will discussGod's definition of man and the
world.
Actually, I won't get into it,but I was having a conversation
with a guy in a barbershop lastweek about biblical masculinity.
(33:08):
Biblical masculinity.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
And it was.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
It was a really good conversation, because there's
not enough people standing upfor true biblical masculinity.
And yeah, man, yes, we'll talkabout that later, that's another
(33:31):
time.
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