September 12, 2023 • 22 mins
Have you ever wondered what it means to be a man, or wondered about the interplay between pain and identity? Join me and my dear friend Stan Jackson in a candid conversation addressing such critical issues.
Venturing into deeper waters, we discuss how identifying your purpose can be a safeguard against destructive life patterns and how pain can transform into a potent ministry. We reflect on the significance of having a clear vision, and how this clarity can bolster personal growth. Hear about the power of accountability and how your partners can be instrumental in you realizing your full potential. The critical role of leading your family, the perils of overcompensation, and the role of emotional and spiritual intelligence in mending strained relationships are also part of our insightful dialogue. So, tune in for this heartwarming conversation that aims to uplift, inspire, and enlighten.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So, look y'all, we're back with another episode of Do
the Work with Hermagie Jr.
And today, let me tell y'all Ihave a special guest in store
for y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
This guest, I have no one other than my man, the
vegan king himself.
You know, discipleshipextraordinaire.
Come on, businessman, to themax.
Can't take him out of St Louis,but you can't take the St Louis
out of him.
We got, we got my man who lovesto have conversation, a prayer
(00:40):
warrior in every might, in everyright.
Yes, when we love doing lifetogether, we love coconut water,
for sure, for sure.
I'm talking about, I have mydear friend, my prayer partner.
Yes, sir Dan Jackson, y'all Allright.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I like that man, this shit, I love it.
Let's do that again.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Thank you for having me Harold.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
No man, I'll tell you .
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I'll tell you in comment I the the worst is that
others are seeing me higher thanyou.
Yes sir, yes sir, I appreciatethat, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You know, and I think one of the things with me and
Don't Get is that goodrecognition like that yeah.
You know, we always trying tofind it in objects.
Yeah, but when another manrespect another man, a love on
another man.
A lot of people don't thinkthat you know where I came from.
That's awkward, but that's notreally awkward in the community
that we are in right now.
Yeah, because we need to lifteach other up, because there's
(01:35):
always something trying to pullus back and pull us down.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, I appreciate that.
Thank you, I'm learning toreceive it too, because I would
always not like that and youknow, I was always always like
that.
I listened to shout out to KBof South Side Rap by podcast,
South Side Rap by he and hisfriend.
I mean, they do that.
They build each other up.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
That's nice.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
And I, like man, like that's something that I really
want to do.
And, but, like you said, thispodcast is for men.
Yes, sir, you know, otherpeople are going to watch it.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Women are going to watch it, kids are going to
watch it, people are going towatch it and ladies take it and,
just like you, do everything,yeah, I can make a little
something to something big, ifyou.
I mean in a great way, becausethat's what God gave you, you
know, to us, because we had tobalance us out.
But you know, if you have abrother or you have a husband
(02:26):
and you have a father, whateverit is, take some of this
information and that's my oldpastor used to say he says eat
the meat, speak out the bones?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yeah, unless you make it some good ramen with that
bone broth.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
No, the car looks like.
How do?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
you ever have that.
You know that.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Roman yeah, I did.
That's back in the day for me.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, no no, no, not not new.
Like, not Not the noodles.
I'm talking about authenticramen.
No, like Japanese style.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
They make a bone, yeah, yeah,and they got to let that thing
simmer for hours.
Got you and tell the marrowyeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
, yeah, yeah, I'm on.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
But if you, but if you're not eating ramen, you
just spit out the bone.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, that's a man.
What you had that?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
at.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
So true story.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
So we not, we're not going on a rabbit trail right
now, we still good, a little bit, but this is how we do, okay,
this is how we do Okay, becausewe got time, okay.
So I was in, I was up north andI think it was Ottawa, illinois
, not Ottawa, maybe it was alsoOttawa, I don't know, but I was
in this small town and it wascalled Bash Burger and Sushi
(03:42):
House.
Okay, my same reaction.
So they were like, hey, we'regoing to have a, we're going to
have a get together at Bash.
And I was like, okay, what'sthat?
And then it was like, oh, it'sthe burger and sushi house.
Yeah, it's like burger andsushi house in the Midwest.
There's no fresh fish, rightyeah?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Like and so.
But we went and it was.
It was a slamming.
So I had one of the soldiers.
One of the officers was likehey, you should, I'm going to
get me some ramen.
You should try to ramen.
And I was like I hadn't usedbefore.
There's like, no, not top ramen, this is authentic ramen.
Homemade noodles broth steaminghot with chicken breasts yeah,
(04:24):
cut up.
Now I was like, okay, let metry this.
Bro, the flavors are so savory,oh, I bet so savory bed.
And the noodles you can the,when you chew them you can tell
that they've been homemade.
Was your slippery?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I was a little yeah, yeah, I didn't want you know
like juice in a day.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
It was it was it was a giant bowl too.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I was about to say that you get seconds, or you
know.
I took it to go oh.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
But it was, but it was good.
And so my friend, my friend wholives in Mary, and man he he
had, he makes Authentic ramenlike Japanese style.
I love it and, yeah, we'regonna have a ramen night and see
, and that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Let's, let's, let's feed off of that.
So this is our authentic moment.
So you, this is a Roman.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Ramen, ramen, burger and joint Podcast video whatever
.
Yeah, love it.
It's authentic moment in thevideo podcast.
Yeah, love it.
Now I'm hungry, look so, but wegood, yeah, so, yeah.
So authentic ramen is the joint.
(05:33):
I had some in Chicago too.
It was good, but I don't thinkthe noodles was off Authentic
like the ones that I had thefirst time.
I don't think they made it byhand, they just bought something
.
You can do it together.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You say Chicago, right, yeah, well, that's all I
had to say.
Hey, but the broth was on pointthough.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah, anyways.
So look man, we on that, we onthe do the work podcast, so we
go talk about doing the work ismen for our mental health and
our spiritual health, yes, sir,basically so that we can mature
and into our purpose and to ourfreedom and to our legacy.
Oh, so what does doing the workmean to you in the context of
(06:16):
mental health?
Wow so and how, and how has howhas this approach helped you
Reshape your life as?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
far as of all doing the work.
You have to recognize that needto be work done.
Come on, that's number one, yes.
Then you have to recognize thatneed to have some work done,
not on others, but on yourself,mm-hmm.
And the second one you have tobe committed to doing the work.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
So Knowing that that's what doing work means for
you.
How has those two things helpedyou reshape your, your walk and
doing the work.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
How, first of all, the Holy Spirit has have helped
me to recognize those two and.
How has developed me is it hadmade me more hungry to see what
he put in me, to develop, to dothe work and to Exhibit what he
wanted me to be.
Like him, yeah, and then howI'm I, I could reach out to
other people.
Yeah, a lot of times thatthere's a saying your, your pain
(07:16):
is your ministry.
I.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Don't know man, sometimes I agree with that to
an extent, your pain is yourmission.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
What I mean by that is a lot of things that God take
you through or you go throughand God brings you out of.
And he brought you, which is atestimony.
God would get the glory knowingthat he put some in you to
overcome.
That's why he says that youovercome by the testimony yeah,
testimonies.
So when you are living thislife of faith With works, doing
(07:46):
the work.
Yeah, it would actually expandso God could get his glory what
he put in you, because what theenemy do is trying to blind you
and make you doubt who you are.
Yes, and if you doubt who youare, how you?
Let me just slow that down fora second.
Let me, let me rephrase pumpthe brakes.
As a man, the number one thingthe enemy is to force to be
(08:10):
destructive.
Come on, that is our humannature is to be destructive,
especially if you are man.
And the second thing is to be aman.
It's an abuser, yeah, a worldlyman, not a god, I was gonna say
.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I was gonna say that, I think.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I don't think it's nature.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I think that's what, that's the, that's the, the,
what the culture and societyportrays man to be, and that's
what we end up.
That's what most men end upbecoming, because that's what's
expected of them from society.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
But here's.
Here's why I'm gonna break thatup and I understand.
I thank you.
My one of my mentors by thename of miles Moro, dr Miles
Moro when he says when you don'tknow a purpose of a thing, you
would abuse that thing.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, and unintentionally too.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
So here's the thing when you don't know your purpose
in life and the people in yourlife, yeah, you end up abusing
it by default.
Yeah, it's like, it's like youmisuse it.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
It's like if, if I didn't know this was a, was a
table, yeah, and I start sittingon it.
Yeah, well, you know, youdidn't know.
No better, I don't know, Ididn't know.
One told me that this wasn't achair.
Yeah, it held my weight.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Here's the thing as a man was some of the things that
we do.
When abuse and we dopornography, we do alcohol, we
Probably go in, overspend orabuse ourselves to trying to
have multiple women and then thesociety we live in.
Let's be honest with you youdon't know your identity, so you
want other men.
I'm just saying all both.
That's the real.
(09:40):
Do the work right, yeah, butthe identity, what God created
is if you go back to Adam andEve and when they was in the
garden, what would that Jesus orGod said?
Was Jesus God say, let us godown and make, yeah, who, me and
in whose image?
Obvious?
Yeah, his image.
So if we're not in his image,then what we doing?
(10:04):
We go back to the fall again.
We're abusing what?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
was created we abusing what was created, so
look around so so so would yousay, the purpose, the reason
behind the abuse and destructionis Is not knowing the purpose.
It's called ignorance for areason.
Yes, the kingdom of darkness,which I think is why it's
important that we identify Veryclearly what biblical
masculinity and manhood is.
(10:29):
Yeah, because if we don't, wewill.
Where there's no vision, wherethere is no clarity, we fill in
the blank.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
The Bible says it.
When there's no vision in mypeople, what?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
they perish, they perish.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, yeah, and that's what that looks like.
And if you don't have a clearunderstanding what you read, the
word of God, you just drifting.
Yeah, yeah, you're just tryingto do with someone else told you
to do we.
They don't even know what to doand then you know, birds of a
feather flock together 100%,100%.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
So so, listen, listen , I, I, I, I agree, yes, so your
pain is your ministry.
And I heard it this way, andAtlanta, when I was at I lead a
men church that the sessioncalled men church, and he said a
passage.
If you said or maybe it wasPastor Kenny, anyway, one of
(11:19):
them said that your wife is yourblueprint, meaning he was
saying you, the Lord will giveyou a wife, mm-hmm.
That prepares you, mm-hmm, forwhat he has for you most
definitely in ministry and lifesir, yeah your wife is the
(11:42):
blueprint.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
She holds you accountable.
If it was a golly woman.
God fear woman now?
No, oh he's.
You don't have to be got, youdon't have to be got fear she
could be the one in the promiseabout blueprint.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
But the victory she's , the blueprint, oh, regardless.
Hmm, for instance, I Came intoour marriage.
Entrepreneur got you.
I wasn't always entrepreneurial, but that was just where I was
in that season, in that time, inthat life, entrepreneur, and I
thought that was what God wantedme to do Forever like.
(12:17):
I thought I was gonna be anentrepreneur, business person
and make boo-koo money and justhave a nice family and go to
church and do ministry on site,you know, have a little Bible
study here and there.
But but when I married my wife,all hell broke loose.
Hmm, like my wife will tell you, we had the roughest three
(12:39):
years ever.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Yeah, of marriage.
You know three.
It's a significant number,right?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yes, yeah, yeah but maybe in four.
But I was just trying to be.
My point is, life was reallydifficult when I got married and
my pastor at the time was likelook, harold, I've counseled
over 400 couples.
Hmm, hey, none of them dealingwith what y'all dealing with?
(13:05):
Wow bro and I was just like.
Well, that's very comforting.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Right, right, yeah, dude, another counselor.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No, but what he was saying is.
He says I believe God has aspecific calling anointing in
ministry over you guys Becauseof the warfare.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yes, yeah, that you're going through and and
when I?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
when he said that your wife is your blueprint man,
I never.
If you would have told me whenI was in college that I will be
counseling men, that I would beSitting having conversations
helping men do the work mentally, yeah, in their lives, yeah,
but boy you crazy, yeah Be.
(13:46):
I get into the money.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Don't forget other women right.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, get into it.
And so what it was?
Man, I Never thought that Iwould be in a split in a in a.
I never thought that I wouldflow prophetically.
Hmm, I never needed to.
Yeah, I never desired to,mm-hmm I, but I had to.
When I married Cassie, when Imarried Cassandra, my buddy was
(14:11):
like dude, like you, flow in theperfect.
I'm like no dawg.
I married a woman who don'ttalk to me and I was like Lord,
what is she thinking?
Why is she mad?
Now, god, right, right, yeah,wow.
And the Lord is like you didthis and that's why she mad and
I'm like oh so I go apologizeafter the Lord shows me.
(14:33):
Yes sir, yes sir.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Through the word of knowledge.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Yeah, yeah yeah, To go and apologize, and so I'm
just like man.
I had to learn to flow becauseshe wouldn't talk.
Wow, I thought I was the onlyone I really did, yeah, and then
stuff started happening towhere she's dealing with things
and she's expecting me tocomfort and counsel you.
(14:57):
Better, hire somebody on my own.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Better help.
Yeah, it's bringing the bestout of you, right, bringing the
best out.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
And so, but the Lord was showing me your wife is the
blueprint which, like you said,your pain is your ministry.
Which brings me to this point,man, of a conversation that you
and I had that we could talkabout here with the audience Is
about how God it's not only yourspouses that do this, but this
(15:28):
is a universal principle theLord strategically and
intentionally places people inyour life that rubs up against
you.
I love it.
Yeah, and remember we weretalking about that.
Yeah, you told me.
If there is a door frame andyou're a piece of wood and you
got some bumps on you and youcan't fit through the door and
God starts sending people tosand your rough spots so that
(15:52):
you can fit through the door.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
He's called you to go through.
I mean, I love that when yousat there in prayer one time.
Yeah, and how that convicted.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I'm like, why do?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
you say that I don't want that saying on me.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I mean but that's true.
But it's true, and we have tolearn how to be molded into what
God wants us to, and it's notit's just you know it's like the
part result.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
But yeah, y'all love the way you said sandpaper
because it's there's somefriction there.
It's friction and we have tolean into the friction.
When you made that statement,it's about the crushing.
Yes, and you know when Goddealt with me about the trial,
tribulation, the testing right,but when he started crushing you
and you got to go through justlike the wine press, absolutely
(16:35):
Any man who might be goingthrough something, and they see
this right now, where youthought there's an unbearable or
God forgot you.
God is intentional, beingintentional, and God's been
intentional when you think he'sunintentional.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yes, but he's crushing you?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yes, for a new season , yes, so when you ask that
question, that pain point, whatthat looks like is actually
stepping in, walking by faithand then receiving it and
accepting it.
Yeah, so you can go through it,because when you don't know the
word, it'll become very complexin your life when you just
(17:11):
religion, Absolutely Dude.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Check this out and when you religion.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
You seem like you a mad man, and then you're going
to go and find your own antidote, your penacea in a Jagdanyu, or
what, or, or.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Some people Addicted to going to church.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Oh, bro, that's the worst, because you only getting
that stimuli just for thesinging praise, all the title
you may be using, because theBible says give, come around,
repentance.
Yeah, you could be operatingyour gives and you come home and
be acting like a devil money toSaturday People can get.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Addicted yeah, bro in the church.
Oh, I seen you to avoid.
Yeah, doing the work.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Yeah, that's required to grow and mature there your
first ministry, and your onlyministry that's gonna be any,
have any true impact, is yourhouse to.
As me, as a man of God, andEven if you just a man learning
about a God, yeah, your firstduty and your responsibility is
(18:16):
to lead your family.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Well, yes, yes you lead your family.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
You must learn how to lead yourself Well first dude.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I was watching.
People send me videos all thetime.
I never do anything with them.
I'm a start, though.
So they send me this video withits profit.
Got a divorce, whoa?
And he said he got a divorcebecause His marriage was not
(18:46):
Above his ministry.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
He said God.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Him to ministry bro not to marriage Bro and.
I was like yo.
Here's the thing that'sdangerous.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
That's super day because you, with what people do
yeah, actually mean when youdon't know any better you
overcompensate absolutely.
And he was overcompensating forhis failure.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, because this is how it's supposed to go God
first, then family, theneverything else dude and the
book of Timothy I think it'sTimothy when they went, when,
when the Lord is given thequalifications for eldership and
oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.
And deacons.
(19:33):
He's telling you, bro, yougotta lead your house.
Well, first, most definitely,he says it in the way.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
How can you stored If you can't store your house?
How do you store the church?
Or my his kingdom?
Come on, bro, how do you reallytruly minister effectively to
his people?
Yeah, how can you be theshepherd and lead his sheep?
Yeah, how can you trulyprophesy when you got bitterness
in you?
So, bro, I Was let this sit fora second I.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Mean, this is true, it's true, I was so baffled but
One by the fact that he believedthat and was sharing that with
people to, by the people whoactually think the same way.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Condone that mess so, so Wow you're.
But you know why they did it?
Because they in the same boat.
Yeah, it's called aresponsibility.
That's a such thing calledemotional intelligence.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
We talked about.
We talked about emotionalintelligence.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
And, but there's also such thing called the spiritual
intelligence, which is to askyou, and what the Holy Spirit
does.
It trumps all of that Mm-hmm.
And if, if God showed you aboutyou in your marriage that they
could have been mended, oh,absolutely, that they could be
minute where it was.
It is pride and selfishness,yeah, and, and I'm here's the
(20:52):
thing, and because I the reasonI can speak on this, because
I've been married once beforeand I used to blame them instead
of blaming me in that, knowingthat I had issues in me that
caused them to act out on me.
So, look y'all, we're back with another episode of Do
the Work with Hermagie Jr.
And today, let me tell y'all Ihave a special guest in store
for y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
This guest, I have no one other than my man, the
vegan king himself.
You know, discipleshipextraordinaire.
Come on, businessman, to themax.
Can't take him out of St Louis,but you can't take the St Louis
out of him.
We got, we got my man who lovesto have conversation, a prayer
(00:40):
warrior in every might, in everyright.
Yes, when we love doing lifetogether, we love coconut water,
for sure, for sure.
I'm talking about, I have mydear friend, my prayer partner.
Yes, sir Dan Jackson, y'all Allright.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I like that man, this shit, I love it.
Let's do that again.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Thank you for having me Harold.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
No man, I'll tell you .
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I'll tell you in comment I the the worst is that
others are seeing me higher thanyou.
Yes sir, yes sir, I appreciatethat, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You know, and I think one of the things with me and
Don't Get is that goodrecognition like that yeah.
You know, we always trying tofind it in objects.
Yeah, but when another manrespect another man, a love on
another man.
A lot of people don't thinkthat you know where I came from.
That's awkward, but that's notreally awkward in the community
that we are in right now.
Yeah, because we need to lifteach other up, because there's
(01:35):
always something trying to pullus back and pull us down.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, I appreciate that.
Thank you, I'm learning toreceive it too, because I would
always not like that and youknow, I was always always like
that.
I listened to shout out to KBof South Side Rap by podcast,
South Side Rap by he and hisfriend.
I mean, they do that.
They build each other up.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
That's nice.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
And I, like man, like that's something that I really
want to do.
And, but, like you said, thispodcast is for men.
Yes, sir, you know, otherpeople are going to watch it.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Women are going to watch it, kids are going to
watch it, people are going towatch it and ladies take it and,
just like you, do everything,yeah, I can make a little
something to something big, ifyou.
I mean in a great way, becausethat's what God gave you, you
know, to us, because we had tobalance us out.
But you know, if you have abrother or you have a husband
(02:26):
and you have a father, whateverit is, take some of this
information and that's my oldpastor used to say he says eat
the meat, speak out the bones?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yeah, unless you make it some good ramen with that
bone broth.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
No, the car looks like.
How do?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
you ever have that.
You know that.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Roman yeah, I did.
That's back in the day for me.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, no no, no, not not new.
Like, not Not the noodles.
I'm talking about authenticramen.
No, like Japanese style.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
They make a bone, yeah, yeah,and they got to let that thing
simmer for hours.
Got you and tell the marrowyeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
, yeah, yeah, I'm on.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
But if you, but if you're not eating ramen, you
just spit out the bone.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, that's a man.
What you had that?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
at.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
So true story.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
So we not, we're not going on a rabbit trail right
now, we still good, a little bit, but this is how we do, okay,
this is how we do Okay, becausewe got time, okay.
So I was in, I was up north andI think it was Ottawa, illinois
, not Ottawa, maybe it was alsoOttawa, I don't know, but I was
in this small town and it wascalled Bash Burger and Sushi
(03:42):
House.
Okay, my same reaction.
So they were like, hey, we'regoing to have a, we're going to
have a get together at Bash.
And I was like, okay, what'sthat?
And then it was like, oh, it'sthe burger and sushi house.
Yeah, it's like burger andsushi house in the Midwest.
There's no fresh fish, rightyeah?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Like and so.
But we went and it was.
It was a slamming.
So I had one of the soldiers.
One of the officers was likehey, you should, I'm going to
get me some ramen.
You should try to ramen.
And I was like I hadn't usedbefore.
There's like, no, not top ramen, this is authentic ramen.
Homemade noodles broth steaminghot with chicken breasts yeah,
(04:24):
cut up.
Now I was like, okay, let metry this.
Bro, the flavors are so savory,oh, I bet so savory bed.
And the noodles you can the,when you chew them you can tell
that they've been homemade.
Was your slippery?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I was a little yeah, yeah, I didn't want you know
like juice in a day.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
It was it was it was a giant bowl too.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I was about to say that you get seconds, or you
know.
I took it to go oh.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
But it was, but it was good.
And so my friend, my friend wholives in Mary, and man he he
had, he makes Authentic ramenlike Japanese style.
I love it and, yeah, we'regonna have a ramen night and see
, and that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Let's, let's, let's feed off of that.
So this is our authentic moment.
So you, this is a Roman.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Ramen, ramen, burger and joint Podcast video whatever
.
Yeah, love it.
It's authentic moment in thevideo podcast.
Yeah, love it.
Now I'm hungry, look so, but wegood, yeah, so, yeah.
So authentic ramen is the joint.
(05:33):
I had some in Chicago too.
It was good, but I don't thinkthe noodles was off Authentic
like the ones that I had thefirst time.
I don't think they made it byhand, they just bought something
.
You can do it together.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You say Chicago, right, yeah, well, that's all I
had to say.
Hey, but the broth was on pointthough.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah, anyways.
So look man, we on that, we onthe do the work podcast, so we
go talk about doing the work ismen for our mental health and
our spiritual health, yes, sir,basically so that we can mature
and into our purpose and to ourfreedom and to our legacy.
Oh, so what does doing the workmean to you in the context of
(06:16):
mental health?
Wow so and how, and how has howhas this approach helped you
Reshape your life as?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
far as of all doing the work.
You have to recognize that needto be work done.
Come on, that's number one, yes.
Then you have to recognize thatneed to have some work done,
not on others, but on yourself,mm-hmm.
And the second one you have tobe committed to doing the work.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
So Knowing that that's what doing work means for
you.
How has those two things helpedyou reshape your, your walk and
doing the work.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
How, first of all, the Holy Spirit has have helped
me to recognize those two and.
How has developed me is it hadmade me more hungry to see what
he put in me, to develop, to dothe work and to Exhibit what he
wanted me to be.
Like him, yeah, and then howI'm I, I could reach out to
other people.
Yeah, a lot of times thatthere's a saying your, your pain
(07:16):
is your ministry.
I.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Don't know man, sometimes I agree with that to
an extent, your pain is yourmission.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
What I mean by that is a lot of things that God take
you through or you go throughand God brings you out of.
And he brought you, which is atestimony.
God would get the glory knowingthat he put some in you to
overcome.
That's why he says that youovercome by the testimony yeah,
testimonies.
So when you are living thislife of faith With works, doing
(07:46):
the work.
Yeah, it would actually expandso God could get his glory what
he put in you, because what theenemy do is trying to blind you
and make you doubt who you are.
Yes, and if you doubt who youare, how you?
Let me just slow that down fora second.
Let me, let me rephrase pumpthe brakes.
As a man, the number one thingthe enemy is to force to be
(08:10):
destructive.
Come on, that is our humannature is to be destructive,
especially if you are man.
And the second thing is to be aman.
It's an abuser, yeah, a worldlyman, not a god, I was gonna say
.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I was gonna say that, I think.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I don't think it's nature.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I think that's what, that's the, that's the, the,
what the culture and societyportrays man to be, and that's
what we end up.
That's what most men end upbecoming, because that's what's
expected of them from society.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
But here's.
Here's why I'm gonna break thatup and I understand.
I thank you.
My one of my mentors by thename of miles Moro, dr Miles
Moro when he says when you don'tknow a purpose of a thing, you
would abuse that thing.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, and unintentionally too.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
So here's the thing when you don't know your purpose
in life and the people in yourlife, yeah, you end up abusing
it by default.
Yeah, it's like, it's like youmisuse it.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
It's like if, if I didn't know this was a, was a
table, yeah, and I start sittingon it.
Yeah, well, you know, youdidn't know.
No better, I don't know, Ididn't know.
One told me that this wasn't achair.
Yeah, it held my weight.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Here's the thing as a man was some of the things that
we do.
When abuse and we dopornography, we do alcohol, we
Probably go in, overspend orabuse ourselves to trying to
have multiple women and then thesociety we live in.
Let's be honest with you youdon't know your identity, so you
want other men.
I'm just saying all both.
That's the real.
(09:40):
Do the work right, yeah, butthe identity, what God created
is if you go back to Adam andEve and when they was in the
garden, what would that Jesus orGod said?
Was Jesus God say, let us godown and make, yeah, who, me and
in whose image?
Obvious?
Yeah, his image.
So if we're not in his image,then what we doing?
(10:04):
We go back to the fall again.
We're abusing what?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
was created we abusing what was created, so
look around so so so would yousay, the purpose, the reason
behind the abuse and destructionis Is not knowing the purpose.
It's called ignorance for areason.
Yes, the kingdom of darkness,which I think is why it's
important that we identify Veryclearly what biblical
masculinity and manhood is.
(10:29):
Yeah, because if we don't, wewill.
Where there's no vision, wherethere is no clarity, we fill in
the blank.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
The Bible says it.
When there's no vision in mypeople, what?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
they perish, they perish.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, yeah, and that's what that looks like.
And if you don't have a clearunderstanding what you read, the
word of God, you just drifting.
Yeah, yeah, you're just tryingto do with someone else told you
to do we.
They don't even know what to doand then you know, birds of a
feather flock together 100%,100%.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
So so, listen, listen , I, I, I, I agree, yes, so your
pain is your ministry.
And I heard it this way, andAtlanta, when I was at I lead a
men church that the sessioncalled men church, and he said a
passage.
If you said or maybe it wasPastor Kenny, anyway, one of
(11:19):
them said that your wife is yourblueprint, meaning he was
saying you, the Lord will giveyou a wife, mm-hmm.
That prepares you, mm-hmm, forwhat he has for you most
definitely in ministry and lifesir, yeah your wife is the
(11:42):
blueprint.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
She holds you accountable.
If it was a golly woman.
God fear woman now?
No, oh he's.
You don't have to be got, youdon't have to be got fear she
could be the one in the promiseabout blueprint.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
But the victory she's , the blueprint, oh, regardless.
Hmm, for instance, I Came intoour marriage.
Entrepreneur got you.
I wasn't always entrepreneurial, but that was just where I was
in that season, in that time, inthat life, entrepreneur, and I
thought that was what God wantedme to do Forever like.
(12:17):
I thought I was gonna be anentrepreneur, business person
and make boo-koo money and justhave a nice family and go to
church and do ministry on site,you know, have a little Bible
study here and there.
But but when I married my wife,all hell broke loose.
Hmm, like my wife will tell you, we had the roughest three
(12:39):
years ever.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Yeah, of marriage.
You know three.
It's a significant number,right?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yes, yeah, yeah but maybe in four.
But I was just trying to be.
My point is, life was reallydifficult when I got married and
my pastor at the time was likelook, harold, I've counseled
over 400 couples.
Hmm, hey, none of them dealingwith what y'all dealing with?
(13:05):
Wow bro and I was just like.
Well, that's very comforting.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Right, right, yeah, dude, another counselor.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No, but what he was saying is.
He says I believe God has aspecific calling anointing in
ministry over you guys Becauseof the warfare.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yes, yeah, that you're going through and and
when I?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
when he said that your wife is your blueprint man,
I never.
If you would have told me whenI was in college that I will be
counseling men, that I would beSitting having conversations
helping men do the work mentally, yeah, in their lives, yeah,
but boy you crazy, yeah Be.
(13:46):
I get into the money.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Don't forget other women right.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, get into it.
And so what it was?
Man, I Never thought that Iwould be in a split in a in a.
I never thought that I wouldflow prophetically.
Hmm, I never needed to.
Yeah, I never desired to,mm-hmm I, but I had to.
When I married Cassie, when Imarried Cassandra, my buddy was
(14:11):
like dude, like you, flow in theperfect.
I'm like no dawg.
I married a woman who don'ttalk to me and I was like Lord,
what is she thinking?
Why is she mad?
Now, god, right, right, yeah,wow.
And the Lord is like you didthis and that's why she mad and
I'm like oh so I go apologizeafter the Lord shows me.
(14:33):
Yes sir, yes sir.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Through the word of knowledge.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Yeah, yeah yeah, To go and apologize, and so I'm
just like man.
I had to learn to flow becauseshe wouldn't talk.
Wow, I thought I was the onlyone I really did, yeah, and then
stuff started happening towhere she's dealing with things
and she's expecting me tocomfort and counsel you.
(14:57):
Better, hire somebody on my own.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Better help.
Yeah, it's bringing the bestout of you, right, bringing the
best out.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
And so, but the Lord was showing me your wife is the
blueprint which, like you said,your pain is your ministry.
Which brings me to this point,man, of a conversation that you
and I had that we could talkabout here with the audience Is
about how God it's not only yourspouses that do this, but this
(15:28):
is a universal principle theLord strategically and
intentionally places people inyour life that rubs up against
you.
I love it.
Yeah, and remember we weretalking about that.
Yeah, you told me.
If there is a door frame andyou're a piece of wood and you
got some bumps on you and youcan't fit through the door and
God starts sending people tosand your rough spots so that
(15:52):
you can fit through the door.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
He's called you to go through.
I mean, I love that when yousat there in prayer one time.
Yeah, and how that convicted.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I'm like, why do?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
you say that I don't want that saying on me.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I mean but that's true.
But it's true, and we have tolearn how to be molded into what
God wants us to, and it's notit's just you know it's like the
part result.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
But yeah, y'all love the way you said sandpaper
because it's there's somefriction there.
It's friction and we have tolean into the friction.
When you made that statement,it's about the crushing.
Yes, and you know when Goddealt with me about the trial,
tribulation, the testing right,but when he started crushing you
and you got to go through justlike the wine press, absolutely
(16:35):
Any man who might be goingthrough something, and they see
this right now, where youthought there's an unbearable or
God forgot you.
God is intentional, beingintentional, and God's been
intentional when you think he'sunintentional.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yes, but he's crushing you?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yes, for a new season , yes, so when you ask that
question, that pain point, whatthat looks like is actually
stepping in, walking by faithand then receiving it and
accepting it.
Yeah, so you can go through it,because when you don't know the
word, it'll become very complexin your life when you just
(17:11):
religion, Absolutely Dude.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Check this out and when you religion.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
You seem like you a mad man, and then you're going
to go and find your own antidote, your penacea in a Jagdanyu, or
what, or, or.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Some people Addicted to going to church.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Oh, bro, that's the worst, because you only getting
that stimuli just for thesinging praise, all the title
you may be using, because theBible says give, come around,
repentance.
Yeah, you could be operatingyour gives and you come home and
be acting like a devil money toSaturday People can get.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Addicted yeah, bro in the church.
Oh, I seen you to avoid.
Yeah, doing the work.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Yeah, that's required to grow and mature there your
first ministry, and your onlyministry that's gonna be any,
have any true impact, is yourhouse to.
As me, as a man of God, andEven if you just a man learning
about a God, yeah, your firstduty and your responsibility is
(18:16):
to lead your family.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Well, yes, yes you lead your family.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
You must learn how to lead yourself Well first dude.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I was watching.
People send me videos all thetime.
I never do anything with them.
I'm a start, though.
So they send me this video withits profit.
Got a divorce, whoa?
And he said he got a divorcebecause His marriage was not
(18:46):
Above his ministry.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
He said God.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Him to ministry bro not to marriage Bro and.
I was like yo.
Here's the thing that'sdangerous.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
That's super day because you, with what people do
yeah, actually mean when youdon't know any better you
overcompensate absolutely.
And he was overcompensating forhis failure.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, because this is how it's supposed to go God
first, then family, theneverything else dude and the
book of Timothy I think it'sTimothy when they went, when,
when the Lord is given thequalifications for eldership and
oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.
And deacons.
(19:33):
He's telling you, bro, yougotta lead your house.
Well, first, most definitely,he says it in the way.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
How can you stored If you can't store your house?
How do you store the church?
Or my his kingdom?
Come on, bro, how do you reallytruly minister effectively to
his people?
Yeah, how can you be theshepherd and lead his sheep?
Yeah, how can you trulyprophesy when you got bitterness
in you?
So, bro, I Was let this sit fora second I.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Mean, this is true, it's true, I was so baffled but
One by the fact that he believedthat and was sharing that with
people to, by the people whoactually think the same way.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Condone that mess so, so Wow you're.
But you know why they did it?
Because they in the same boat.
Yeah, it's called aresponsibility.
That's a such thing calledemotional intelligence.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
We talked about.
We talked about emotionalintelligence.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
And, but there's also such thing called the spiritual
intelligence, which is to askyou, and what the Holy Spirit
does.
It trumps all of that Mm-hmm.
And if, if God showed you aboutyou in your marriage that they
could have been mended, oh,absolutely, that they could be
minute where it was.
It is pride and selfishness,yeah, and, and I'm here's the
(20:52):
thing, and because I the reasonI can speak on this, because
I've been married once beforeand I used to blame them instead
of blaming me in that, knowingthat I had issues in me that
caused them to act out on me.
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