April 4, 2025 • 25 mins
Spreading the message of recovery and living the principles of recovery are good goals. That's what Step 12 is all about.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
It's time again for Doc Jock, your addiction
lifeguard podcast.
I am Dr.
Jock DeBerker, a psychologist,licensed professional counselor,
and addiction specialist.
If you are suffering fromaddiction, misery, trauma,
whatever it is, I'm here tohelp.
If you're in search of help totry to get your life back
together, join me here at DocJock, your addiction lifeguard,
(00:22):
the addiction recovery podcast.
I wanted to be real clear aboutwhat this podcast is intended
for.
It is intended for entertainmentand informational purposes but
(00:45):
not considered help.
If you actually need real helpand you're in need of help,
Please seek that out.
If you're in dire need of help,you can go to your nearest
emergency room or you can checkinto a rehab center or call a
counselor like me and talk aboutyour problems and work through
them.
But don't rely on a podcast tobe that form of help.
(01:06):
It's not.
It's just a podcast.
It's for entertainment andinformation only.
So let's keep it in that light.
All right.
Have a good time.
Learn something and then get thereal help that you need from a
professional.
UNKNOWN (01:19):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (01:44):
I've talked a lot in these podcasts about recovery
and what does that recovery looklike and how do we do it and
what happens when there's peoplearound us that are you.
I've talked so many differentangles of recovery, but there's
one angle that I don't know thatI've ever actually talked about
in all these podcasts I've done,the 100 plus podcasts, and that
(02:04):
is the going out and carryingthe message to other people.
and practicing the principles ofrecovery.
And in the 12 steps we consider,that's step 12.
And what is it that you, how doyou do this?
(02:25):
So let me just start with thebeginning of like, let's, review
what step 12 is.
If you don't know what step 12is, I'm going to read it to you.
And if you do know what it is,just follow along.
Step 12, having had a spiritualawakening as the result of these
steps, we try to carry thismessage to alcoholics and to
practice these principles in allof our affairs.
(02:46):
In other words, go out andspread the good news.
Well, there's two things aboutstep 12 that are interesting.
You have the spiritualawakening, right?
UNKNOWN (02:54):
And
SPEAKER_00 (02:55):
And you tried to carry this message to alcoholics
and to practice these principlesin all of our affairs.
That's two things.
It's not one.
It's not going out and justtrying to help people that are
in recovery.
But it's also about practicingthe principles of all of the 12
steps in your life.
(03:15):
So I'm going to talk about thesetwo things now.
Because they are two verydistinctly different things.
So let's tackle the first onefirst and the second one second.
The first is try to carry thismessage to alcoholics.
Now, words mean things.
And these steps were writtenspecifically to do certain
(03:37):
things.
And it's important that you readall the words in these steps.
So let me repeat this again.
We tried to carry this messageto alcoholics.
tried not must not will buttried so and what is the message
so we're trying to carry uh themessage to alcoholics so what is
(04:01):
your message and if you want togo out and you want to help
people and you're trying tofigure out ways to do it i think
the very first thing you must dois is understand what is it
you're trying to to convey whatis the message the message of
what their lives are a mess orthat they need to seek a higher
power or that they need to turntheir lives over to that higher
(04:22):
power or that they have peoplethey may need to make amends to.
Like, what is the message?
And I would argue that themessage actually is not any of
those things, but it's more of abroader understanding of what it
means to be in recovery.
When I'm doing step 12 work, notas a counselor, or therapist in
(04:46):
the people that I work with.
Not talking about that becausethat's my job, right?
So I'm supposed to do that.
I'm talking about if you justmeet somebody on the street or
maybe it's a friend of a friend,somebody you don't really know.
It's a little bit different whenyou do know them, but let's go
with the you don't know them andyou just see them.
So what is the message?
(05:07):
The message, my message isthere's a better life for you.
You don't have to live this way.
That's from me.
That's what I always think of.
And I always try to encouragepeople when I see them.
I don't try to proselytize.
I don't try to convey theirfailures and they're paralyzed.
(05:28):
I don't speak to that in theirlives.
Because what I've learned overthe years is that when you're in
recovery, trying to say tosomebody else who's not in
recovery or maybe failed intheir recovery, hey...
You are making a huge mistake inwhat you're doing and you need
to stop.
That's part of the shaming,right?
That's part of the message ofstigmatizing and shaming that
(05:50):
they get all the time.
So rather what I see is a personwho is in need and I don't even
know because I don't know them.
So I don't even know at whatstage of need are they in.
So I would just say something assimple as, hey, man, you know,
life doesn't have to be likethis for you.
You can you can get help.
And that's it.
I'm not saying you must.
I'm not saying that you, youknow, you're failing if you
(06:14):
don't.
I'm not saying anythingnegative.
What I'm saying is you'resuffering and I see that and I
want to validate that for you.
I want you to understand thatI'm seeing you suffering and you
don't have to do that.
And it's interesting because Idon't tell them how.
I don't give them my card.
I'm not trying to get them to bemy client.
I'm just trying to talk to themand say, hey, brother, sister,
(06:35):
we're all together in this andyou don't have to be like that.
Because it's a much morecompassionate approach, a more
stable, compassionate approachto them when they understand
that you're not threatening themor judging them and criticizing
them.
And that's an important thingbecause criticism is what we
absolutely feel when we arebeing told we are failing
(06:58):
because we have addiction,right?
So stay away from that message.
That's my approach.
I stay away from that.
I just approach them with, I seeyou, I see your suffering.
And if you want anything or youwant something, you need
something, you have a source forit.
And it's right here in front ofyou right now.
So I have come up to people thatI don't even know.
(07:19):
I've never seen before.
And I'll say, Hey man, You don'thave to suffer like this.
And it's funny because thereaction I usually get when I do
that, and I do it veryprivately.
I don't let other people hear mesay it to them.
I just say it directly to themquietly.
They'll look at me and almostevery time they go, what are you
talking about?
And I go, I see you and I knowwhat's going on.
(07:42):
And if you want some help, man,I can give you some suggestions.
And it's like I'm here tolisten.
And it's funny, because the Isee you part is the thing that
catches their attention.
And I was surprised when theylook at me and they say, well,
what do you mean?
(08:02):
And I'm like, if you want somehelp, I can give you some
suggestions.
And I've caught peoplecompletely off guard many times
with that, because they can'tbelieve that I actually spotted
them and could see them.
It's almost like they thoughtthey were invisible to
everybody.
but it's the fact that I'moffering something other than
judgment or criticism.
(08:23):
And it's a different feeling,right?
Trying to carry this message toalcoholics, this of the
spiritual awakening, of thechange, not letting the enemy
win.
You're in a battle with theenemy and I see that and I care
about you.
So you have to be sure aboutwhat your message is.
And when it says in the 12steps, we try to carry this
(08:47):
message of the spiritualawakening.
Carrying it to alcoholics.
Now, there's another way tointerpret that.
And that is simply that, youknow, maybe you need to focus
your efforts on going tomeetings, maybe be a presenter,
you know, offer yourself up tobe a presenter to tell your
story of overcoming.
And that's a very powerfulthing, right?
We people in the rooms, we lovehearing those those messages
(09:10):
because it's like, wow.
it's kind of like you're puttingyourself up there as the bad
example.
You know, it's like, geez, man,if you can do it, I can do it,
you know?
And that's, so that can beinterpreted that way too.
So when you're carrying thatmessage to alcoholics, you're
trying to spread the good news.
You're trying to get them tounderstand there is hope.
There is a possibility forchange.
(09:31):
So understand and make sure youunderstand what, what this
message is, what that means toyou, because that's
interpretive.
And again, then also how are youconveying that message and who
are you conveying it to?
And what's the, what's theformat?
What, who was it with?
If you're not rock solid in yourrecovery, you can still be doing
(09:53):
that.
You know, um, sometimes thathelps us in our recovery is when
we, um, offer a hand up tosomebody next to us, it makes us
stronger.
Um, I, you know, there's a lotof lessons we can learn in a lot
of different ways.
And there was, um, I deal with alot of military guys and women
too, actually, in my office.
(10:14):
And one thing I've learned fromthat is an interesting thing.
The story of like when you arein the military and you have a
focus on one thing and that'sthe mission.
And the mission is whateveryou're assigned.
So if it's a combat, then youhave to take that hill, take
that valley, take that position,that forward position that the
(10:36):
enemy has.
Take out those tanks, take outthose planes, take out that
ship.
You know, that's the mission.
And so everybody needs to focuson the mission.
So the idea that like the NavySEALs, the Navy SEALs don't look
for leaders.
They're not looking for leaders,individual leaders.
When they go through BUDStraining and they go through
Hell Week, they're not lookingfor guys who are trying to be
(11:01):
leaders, right?
They're kind of problematicbecause they always want to be
in charge.
They don't take direction aseasily as somebody who is just
part of the team.
So when they go through the SEALtraining, they're looking for
teamwork.
They're looking for people whowant to be on a team.
Now, obviously, every SEAL teamhas a leader, and that's the
(11:23):
person who is responsible forthings.
However, each person has gone inwith one team.
overriding command, and that isto complete the mission.
And they do it with precisionand expertise and an exhausting
amount of training andpreparation.
But overall, it's the mission.
(11:44):
What is the mission?
We need to accomplish themission.
And everybody has their part andthey all move together as a
team.
And each person that is on thatteam may have to at some point
do some other team members workbecause that team member gets
taken out.
And it's a vital skill thatneeds to be exercised in that
moment.
So each person has to be amember of the team.
(12:07):
And I think it's kind of likethat with recovery, isn't it?
Like we're all a team.
Like individuals don't getsober.
Teams do.
Groups do.
Families do.
And so we go into the rooms.
And as a member of the recoveryteam, the recovery group, we
gather as a group.
(12:28):
We pray as a group.
We talk as a group.
We support each other as a groupbecause we're trying to
accomplish a mission, and thatis to be free, right?
Be spiritually free.
Be free from the enemy attackingus and to survive and thrive.
So finding ways to carry themessage as a group is a
(12:51):
difficult one to understand whenyou're just doing it as an
individual.
But when you think of yourselfas part of the group, And you're
going to spread a message ofspiritual awakening, of
sobriety, of peace.
That is one that you can conveyeasily when you do it the right
way.
So to carry this message toalcoholics, to people that need
(13:13):
help.
The second part of this is topractice these principles in all
of our affairs.
Now, the principles, principlesof sobriety, of the 12 steps,
being humble, being being ableto have a command of surrender
to higher power, to understandthat fearless moral inventory of
(13:34):
yourself, and to be able toaccept those things, understand
that your addiction is morepowerful than you, so you can't
engage in it, it will overrunyour life.
So the idea that you're gonnapractice those principles in all
of our affairs, Not just inrecovery, but in everything.
(13:55):
And I think back to how manypeople I've treated over the
years that have really shatteredlives.
Their health has declined.
They've lost friends.
They've lost family membersbecause nobody will talk to
them.
They've lost their job.
They've lost their money.
They've lost their home.
Some of them end up in jail orprison.
Sometimes they have catastrophicphysical issues caused by their
(14:16):
addiction.
So they've lost things, right?
When you have lost that much,it's difficult for us to
understand what there is left.
And so rebuilding your lifemeans that you're starting over.
Most cases, people have lost somuch that they're starting over.
Some of us reach a bottom thatis incredibly deep.
(14:40):
Some of us have a bottom that'snot quite so deep.
It doesn't matter.
It's still a loss, right?
So if you're going to Practicethese principles, these
principles of humility andcompassion and understanding and
forgiveness and care and supportwhen needed of others in all of
our affairs.
So you can translate that into,I'm going to do this at work.
(15:01):
I'm going to do it with myneighbor.
I'm going to do it with mychildren.
I'm going to do it with myspouse.
I'm going to do it with myparents, my siblings, anybody
that you come in touch with, incontact with.
that they're going to definitelybe part of your life, right?
Those who are left, and some ofus lose a lot of people, but you
(15:21):
know, whoever you got left, butin all of our affairs.
So how you conduct yourself as,let's say that you have, you're
a business person, right?
You have a job, you're amanager, you have people that
you manage in your place ofwork.
Maybe you don't own thebusiness, but you're a manager
and you have people that theirlives are the ones that you're
(15:42):
in charge of well you know 40hours a week or more or or if
they're working part-timewhatever but those are people
that you affect and so if youcan if you can use these
principles of those things thatI'm are in the 12 steps I've
talked about in the workplacehow you treat your employees or
how you treat your co-workerscan be incredibly beneficial to
(16:06):
the people around you And, youknow, this is a faith-based
beginning.
The AA model is based onbiblical principles, and that is
that you will conduct yourselfin that way.
And, you know, over my lifetime,I've dealt with people who...
(16:27):
Um, in, in the workplace thatseemingly didn't have any
foundation of faith in theirlife.
And boy, are they difficult towork for?
I'll tell you, honestly, the,the, the moral compass is
spinning around 360 degrees andthey don't seem to be, they
don't have any ethics or moralsin the workplace.
They just treat people likegarbage.
And they seemingly don't have aconscience when they do it.
(16:51):
And it's always people that haveno faith that do that, it seems
like.
Every time I run into them, theones who do have that are the
ones that have faith.
They understand that there's amoral compass you need to be
operating with.
I'm not so naive as to say thatin the world of business that
it's kind of cutthroat orextremely cutthroat, and
(17:11):
certainly it is.
If you've ever...
worked in high-value sales, likesales of very high-value items,
yeah, it's pretty cutthroatbecause you want to get that
sale.
So I get that.
And that's okay, I guess.
But it's just in your everydayexistence.
having a moral compass that cansteer you and guide you and
(17:34):
that's what we learn in recoveryis and that's the humility part
the humble being humble in whatyou're doing and how you conduct
yourself really speaks a lot toperhaps how you were raised or
what you believe Or it can be,hey, I'm in recovery and I see
people and I care about them.
(17:56):
And so I will work differentlyfor them or with them.
Or when they work for me, I'lltreat them differently because I
know what it means to suffer.
So when you're practicing theseprinciples in your life,
practicing them, what does thatmean?
Well, it means that you'reworking to better the world
(18:16):
around you.
If you think about how muchdamage you've done to yourself,
physically, spiritually,emotionally, relationally,
financially, if you think aboutall the damage you've done to
yourself, it might be a littlebit shocking to realize that.
(18:37):
And when you reflect back on it,when you go through recovery,
you do see it.
It's one of the things that whenI'm working with somebody who
had been working on recovery, Itseems like about every, I don't
know, second or third session,if they're a year in or two
years in to the recovery, Iremind them of where they came
(19:01):
from.
And it's funny.
I don't do that to bring themback down.
And that's not my intention.
It's to remind them that they'vegone so far because they– When
you have done things that are sodamaging to yourself, it's
difficult sometimes to let itgo.
(19:21):
It's difficult to say, I get itnow.
When you're the prodigal son orthe prodigal daughter and you
return and you say, I understandnow when you were trying to tell
me this is not good, but I getit now.
I understand by my actions howmuch damage I've done.
It's important to understand theperspective.
(19:43):
You don't have to be standingthere in front of your father
with your rags on, smelling ofpig slop and dirty and
disheveled and not having eatenwell to say, I've learned.
But sometimes you do, right?
Sometimes that is where it goes.
But certainly when somebody goesthrough that, they have a
(20:05):
powerful message to give.
to people who are struggling andto the idea of I'm doing this
alone is scary.
Some of us who go through thosesituations where they've done it
alone, they didn't get the help,they didn't get the support,
they have a very strong,powerful message of recovery,
(20:27):
redemption.
And you can convey that.
And so when you're conductingyourself in your daily life and
you feel the thing that youshould in full recovery, and
that is not sobriety, but peace.
When you're peaceful, becausethe storm, you've weathered the
(20:48):
storm, you've come through thestorm, you've survived, and now
you're thriving.
Spreading that message of peaceis a powerful message to others.
And that's really the wholefoundation of what Step 12 is
about.
You've come through the worst ofit.
And now you can be the teacherand the example for people who
(21:11):
are entering into the storm orare in the middle of the storm.
Now, I want to be clear aboutone thing.
Sometimes it feels like peopleare on a mission and And they
really want to be a sponsor.
They want to work with sponsees.
And if you're not trained incounseling or mental health or
(21:31):
substance abuse counseling, itcan be a challenge because you
really have had no experienceother than working with your own
sponsor.
on the steps and taking that outand trying to replicate that.
And that's what people generallydo.
They'll just repeat what theyhad presented to them as
recovery work.
And that's good.
But sometimes it's not so good.
(21:52):
Sometimes you need more thanthat.
Some people go the other extremeand they'll just become drug
counselors or even mental healthcounselors.
There are examples of that.
I know somebody who did that.
Finished his career, retired,and he got into recovery from
drug addiction.
that was throughout his entireworking career and he started
(22:13):
his second career after going toschool and getting a degree in
counseling and being a counselorand specializing in addiction.
And that was awesome.
But you don't need to go to thatextreme.
But at the same time, you maynot have that calling.
What is your calling?
Is it to be a sponsor or is itto do something else?
But I think the idea of Step 12being a mandate that you have to
(22:36):
kind of Go out and spread thegood news and try to carry on
those principles in your ownlife is a very good one.
It doesn't mean that you have togo out and be a sponsor.
It doesn't mean that you have togo out and drag people out of
the jaws of death, you know.
But if you are peaceful and youcarry out the principles in your
(22:58):
daily life and you live a betterlife, that is a gifting that is
helping other people.
It may not even be related torecovery.
Anything you do, you may justwalk away from it.
And that's okay too.
There's nothing wrong with that.
But the idea that I'm going tocarry these principles
throughout my life, througheveryday living, is an important
(23:20):
one.
And it's a good...
and a noble goal to get to.
And so if you're in recovery andyou feel peaceful and you're a
few years in, even if you'rejust right at a year, go out and
touch somebody's life and seewhat it feels like.
(23:41):
Just give them a kind word, asupportive word when you see
them struggling.
Maybe tell them, hey, why don'tyou go to some meetings?
I do it all the time, man.
It's good for you.
It'll help.
That kind of thing.
can really uplift your soul andit helps a little bit of your
own healing.
So go out and do the step 12thing if you can, right?
(24:07):
That's it for this episode ofDoc Shock, Your Addiction
Lifeguard.
This is Dr.
Jacques DeBrucker, yourlifeguard on the beaches of
destruction, trying to help youget to a better place.
If you need help, you can reachout to me through my website,
wellspringmindbody.com, and sendme a message.
You can call me, email me.
(24:28):
If you like this podcast, pleasesubscribe, like, and comment as
you wish.
If you'd like to be on thepodcast or you want to give me
some information about somethingthat you know that might be
helpful.
I'll take it.
But in the meantime, dosomething for your own
addiction.
Get into recovery.
Go to rehab.
Go to a counselor.
Get some help.
Go to a meeting.
(24:49):
Do something.
Don't end your life to save youraddiction.
That's crazy.
So until next time, this is DocJock saying see ya.
It's time again for Doc Jock, your addiction
lifeguard podcast.
I am Dr.
Jock DeBerker, a psychologist,licensed professional counselor,
and addiction specialist.
If you are suffering fromaddiction, misery, trauma,
whatever it is, I'm here tohelp.
If you're in search of help totry to get your life back
together, join me here at DocJock, your addiction lifeguard,
(00:22):
the addiction recovery podcast.
I wanted to be real clear aboutwhat this podcast is intended
for.
It is intended for entertainmentand informational purposes but
(00:45):
not considered help.
If you actually need real helpand you're in need of help,
Please seek that out.
If you're in dire need of help,you can go to your nearest
emergency room or you can checkinto a rehab center or call a
counselor like me and talk aboutyour problems and work through
them.
But don't rely on a podcast tobe that form of help.
(01:06):
It's not.
It's just a podcast.
It's for entertainment andinformation only.
So let's keep it in that light.
All right.
Have a good time.
Learn something and then get thereal help that you need from a
professional.
UNKNOWN (01:19):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (01:44):
I've talked a lot in these podcasts about recovery
and what does that recovery looklike and how do we do it and
what happens when there's peoplearound us that are you.
I've talked so many differentangles of recovery, but there's
one angle that I don't know thatI've ever actually talked about
in all these podcasts I've done,the 100 plus podcasts, and that
(02:04):
is the going out and carryingthe message to other people.
and practicing the principles ofrecovery.
And in the 12 steps we consider,that's step 12.
And what is it that you, how doyou do this?
(02:25):
So let me just start with thebeginning of like, let's, review
what step 12 is.
If you don't know what step 12is, I'm going to read it to you.
And if you do know what it is,just follow along.
Step 12, having had a spiritualawakening as the result of these
steps, we try to carry thismessage to alcoholics and to
practice these principles in allof our affairs.
(02:46):
In other words, go out andspread the good news.
Well, there's two things aboutstep 12 that are interesting.
You have the spiritualawakening, right?
UNKNOWN (02:54):
And
SPEAKER_00 (02:55):
And you tried to carry this message to alcoholics
and to practice these principlesin all of our affairs.
That's two things.
It's not one.
It's not going out and justtrying to help people that are
in recovery.
But it's also about practicingthe principles of all of the 12
steps in your life.
(03:15):
So I'm going to talk about thesetwo things now.
Because they are two verydistinctly different things.
So let's tackle the first onefirst and the second one second.
The first is try to carry thismessage to alcoholics.
Now, words mean things.
And these steps were writtenspecifically to do certain
(03:37):
things.
And it's important that you readall the words in these steps.
So let me repeat this again.
We tried to carry this messageto alcoholics.
tried not must not will buttried so and what is the message
so we're trying to carry uh themessage to alcoholics so what is
(04:01):
your message and if you want togo out and you want to help
people and you're trying tofigure out ways to do it i think
the very first thing you must dois is understand what is it
you're trying to to convey whatis the message the message of
what their lives are a mess orthat they need to seek a higher
power or that they need to turntheir lives over to that higher
(04:22):
power or that they have peoplethey may need to make amends to.
Like, what is the message?
And I would argue that themessage actually is not any of
those things, but it's more of abroader understanding of what it
means to be in recovery.
When I'm doing step 12 work, notas a counselor, or therapist in
(04:46):
the people that I work with.
Not talking about that becausethat's my job, right?
So I'm supposed to do that.
I'm talking about if you justmeet somebody on the street or
maybe it's a friend of a friend,somebody you don't really know.
It's a little bit different whenyou do know them, but let's go
with the you don't know them andyou just see them.
So what is the message?
(05:07):
The message, my message isthere's a better life for you.
You don't have to live this way.
That's from me.
That's what I always think of.
And I always try to encouragepeople when I see them.
I don't try to proselytize.
I don't try to convey theirfailures and they're paralyzed.
(05:28):
I don't speak to that in theirlives.
Because what I've learned overthe years is that when you're in
recovery, trying to say tosomebody else who's not in
recovery or maybe failed intheir recovery, hey...
You are making a huge mistake inwhat you're doing and you need
to stop.
That's part of the shaming,right?
That's part of the message ofstigmatizing and shaming that
(05:50):
they get all the time.
So rather what I see is a personwho is in need and I don't even
know because I don't know them.
So I don't even know at whatstage of need are they in.
So I would just say something assimple as, hey, man, you know,
life doesn't have to be likethis for you.
You can you can get help.
And that's it.
I'm not saying you must.
I'm not saying that you, youknow, you're failing if you
(06:14):
don't.
I'm not saying anythingnegative.
What I'm saying is you'resuffering and I see that and I
want to validate that for you.
I want you to understand thatI'm seeing you suffering and you
don't have to do that.
And it's interesting because Idon't tell them how.
I don't give them my card.
I'm not trying to get them to bemy client.
I'm just trying to talk to themand say, hey, brother, sister,
(06:35):
we're all together in this andyou don't have to be like that.
Because it's a much morecompassionate approach, a more
stable, compassionate approachto them when they understand
that you're not threatening themor judging them and criticizing
them.
And that's an important thingbecause criticism is what we
absolutely feel when we arebeing told we are failing
(06:58):
because we have addiction,right?
So stay away from that message.
That's my approach.
I stay away from that.
I just approach them with, I seeyou, I see your suffering.
And if you want anything or youwant something, you need
something, you have a source forit.
And it's right here in front ofyou right now.
So I have come up to people thatI don't even know.
(07:19):
I've never seen before.
And I'll say, Hey man, You don'thave to suffer like this.
And it's funny because thereaction I usually get when I do
that, and I do it veryprivately.
I don't let other people hear mesay it to them.
I just say it directly to themquietly.
They'll look at me and almostevery time they go, what are you
talking about?
And I go, I see you and I knowwhat's going on.
(07:42):
And if you want some help, man,I can give you some suggestions.
And it's like I'm here tolisten.
And it's funny, because the Isee you part is the thing that
catches their attention.
And I was surprised when theylook at me and they say, well,
what do you mean?
(08:02):
And I'm like, if you want somehelp, I can give you some
suggestions.
And I've caught peoplecompletely off guard many times
with that, because they can'tbelieve that I actually spotted
them and could see them.
It's almost like they thoughtthey were invisible to
everybody.
but it's the fact that I'moffering something other than
judgment or criticism.
(08:23):
And it's a different feeling,right?
Trying to carry this message toalcoholics, this of the
spiritual awakening, of thechange, not letting the enemy
win.
You're in a battle with theenemy and I see that and I care
about you.
So you have to be sure aboutwhat your message is.
And when it says in the 12steps, we try to carry this
(08:47):
message of the spiritualawakening.
Carrying it to alcoholics.
Now, there's another way tointerpret that.
And that is simply that, youknow, maybe you need to focus
your efforts on going tomeetings, maybe be a presenter,
you know, offer yourself up tobe a presenter to tell your
story of overcoming.
And that's a very powerfulthing, right?
We people in the rooms, we lovehearing those those messages
(09:10):
because it's like, wow.
it's kind of like you're puttingyourself up there as the bad
example.
You know, it's like, geez, man,if you can do it, I can do it,
you know?
And that's, so that can beinterpreted that way too.
So when you're carrying thatmessage to alcoholics, you're
trying to spread the good news.
You're trying to get them tounderstand there is hope.
There is a possibility forchange.
(09:31):
So understand and make sure youunderstand what, what this
message is, what that means toyou, because that's
interpretive.
And again, then also how are youconveying that message and who
are you conveying it to?
And what's the, what's theformat?
What, who was it with?
If you're not rock solid in yourrecovery, you can still be doing
(09:53):
that.
You know, um, sometimes thathelps us in our recovery is when
we, um, offer a hand up tosomebody next to us, it makes us
stronger.
Um, I, you know, there's a lotof lessons we can learn in a lot
of different ways.
And there was, um, I deal with alot of military guys and women
too, actually, in my office.
(10:14):
And one thing I've learned fromthat is an interesting thing.
The story of like when you arein the military and you have a
focus on one thing and that'sthe mission.
And the mission is whateveryou're assigned.
So if it's a combat, then youhave to take that hill, take
that valley, take that position,that forward position that the
(10:36):
enemy has.
Take out those tanks, take outthose planes, take out that
ship.
You know, that's the mission.
And so everybody needs to focuson the mission.
So the idea that like the NavySEALs, the Navy SEALs don't look
for leaders.
They're not looking for leaders,individual leaders.
When they go through BUDStraining and they go through
Hell Week, they're not lookingfor guys who are trying to be
(11:01):
leaders, right?
They're kind of problematicbecause they always want to be
in charge.
They don't take direction aseasily as somebody who is just
part of the team.
So when they go through the SEALtraining, they're looking for
teamwork.
They're looking for people whowant to be on a team.
Now, obviously, every SEAL teamhas a leader, and that's the
(11:23):
person who is responsible forthings.
However, each person has gone inwith one team.
overriding command, and that isto complete the mission.
And they do it with precisionand expertise and an exhausting
amount of training andpreparation.
But overall, it's the mission.
(11:44):
What is the mission?
We need to accomplish themission.
And everybody has their part andthey all move together as a
team.
And each person that is on thatteam may have to at some point
do some other team members workbecause that team member gets
taken out.
And it's a vital skill thatneeds to be exercised in that
moment.
So each person has to be amember of the team.
(12:07):
And I think it's kind of likethat with recovery, isn't it?
Like we're all a team.
Like individuals don't getsober.
Teams do.
Groups do.
Families do.
And so we go into the rooms.
And as a member of the recoveryteam, the recovery group, we
gather as a group.
(12:28):
We pray as a group.
We talk as a group.
We support each other as a groupbecause we're trying to
accomplish a mission, and thatis to be free, right?
Be spiritually free.
Be free from the enemy attackingus and to survive and thrive.
So finding ways to carry themessage as a group is a
(12:51):
difficult one to understand whenyou're just doing it as an
individual.
But when you think of yourselfas part of the group, And you're
going to spread a message ofspiritual awakening, of
sobriety, of peace.
That is one that you can conveyeasily when you do it the right
way.
So to carry this message toalcoholics, to people that need
(13:13):
help.
The second part of this is topractice these principles in all
of our affairs.
Now, the principles, principlesof sobriety, of the 12 steps,
being humble, being being ableto have a command of surrender
to higher power, to understandthat fearless moral inventory of
(13:34):
yourself, and to be able toaccept those things, understand
that your addiction is morepowerful than you, so you can't
engage in it, it will overrunyour life.
So the idea that you're gonnapractice those principles in all
of our affairs, Not just inrecovery, but in everything.
(13:55):
And I think back to how manypeople I've treated over the
years that have really shatteredlives.
Their health has declined.
They've lost friends.
They've lost family membersbecause nobody will talk to
them.
They've lost their job.
They've lost their money.
They've lost their home.
Some of them end up in jail orprison.
Sometimes they have catastrophicphysical issues caused by their
(14:16):
addiction.
So they've lost things, right?
When you have lost that much,it's difficult for us to
understand what there is left.
And so rebuilding your lifemeans that you're starting over.
Most cases, people have lost somuch that they're starting over.
Some of us reach a bottom thatis incredibly deep.
(14:40):
Some of us have a bottom that'snot quite so deep.
It doesn't matter.
It's still a loss, right?
So if you're going to Practicethese principles, these
principles of humility andcompassion and understanding and
forgiveness and care and supportwhen needed of others in all of
our affairs.
So you can translate that into,I'm going to do this at work.
(15:01):
I'm going to do it with myneighbor.
I'm going to do it with mychildren.
I'm going to do it with myspouse.
I'm going to do it with myparents, my siblings, anybody
that you come in touch with, incontact with.
that they're going to definitelybe part of your life, right?
Those who are left, and some ofus lose a lot of people, but you
(15:21):
know, whoever you got left, butin all of our affairs.
So how you conduct yourself as,let's say that you have, you're
a business person, right?
You have a job, you're amanager, you have people that
you manage in your place ofwork.
Maybe you don't own thebusiness, but you're a manager
and you have people that theirlives are the ones that you're
(15:42):
in charge of well you know 40hours a week or more or or if
they're working part-timewhatever but those are people
that you affect and so if youcan if you can use these
principles of those things thatI'm are in the 12 steps I've
talked about in the workplacehow you treat your employees or
how you treat your co-workerscan be incredibly beneficial to
(16:06):
the people around you And, youknow, this is a faith-based
beginning.
The AA model is based onbiblical principles, and that is
that you will conduct yourselfin that way.
And, you know, over my lifetime,I've dealt with people who...
(16:27):
Um, in, in the workplace thatseemingly didn't have any
foundation of faith in theirlife.
And boy, are they difficult towork for?
I'll tell you, honestly, the,the, the moral compass is
spinning around 360 degrees andthey don't seem to be, they
don't have any ethics or moralsin the workplace.
They just treat people likegarbage.
And they seemingly don't have aconscience when they do it.
(16:51):
And it's always people that haveno faith that do that, it seems
like.
Every time I run into them, theones who do have that are the
ones that have faith.
They understand that there's amoral compass you need to be
operating with.
I'm not so naive as to say thatin the world of business that
it's kind of cutthroat orextremely cutthroat, and
(17:11):
certainly it is.
If you've ever...
worked in high-value sales, likesales of very high-value items,
yeah, it's pretty cutthroatbecause you want to get that
sale.
So I get that.
And that's okay, I guess.
But it's just in your everydayexistence.
having a moral compass that cansteer you and guide you and
(17:34):
that's what we learn in recoveryis and that's the humility part
the humble being humble in whatyou're doing and how you conduct
yourself really speaks a lot toperhaps how you were raised or
what you believe Or it can be,hey, I'm in recovery and I see
people and I care about them.
(17:56):
And so I will work differentlyfor them or with them.
Or when they work for me, I'lltreat them differently because I
know what it means to suffer.
So when you're practicing theseprinciples in your life,
practicing them, what does thatmean?
Well, it means that you'reworking to better the world
(18:16):
around you.
If you think about how muchdamage you've done to yourself,
physically, spiritually,emotionally, relationally,
financially, if you think aboutall the damage you've done to
yourself, it might be a littlebit shocking to realize that.
(18:37):
And when you reflect back on it,when you go through recovery,
you do see it.
It's one of the things that whenI'm working with somebody who
had been working on recovery, Itseems like about every, I don't
know, second or third session,if they're a year in or two
years in to the recovery, Iremind them of where they came
(19:01):
from.
And it's funny.
I don't do that to bring themback down.
And that's not my intention.
It's to remind them that they'vegone so far because they– When
you have done things that are sodamaging to yourself, it's
difficult sometimes to let itgo.
(19:21):
It's difficult to say, I get itnow.
When you're the prodigal son orthe prodigal daughter and you
return and you say, I understandnow when you were trying to tell
me this is not good, but I getit now.
I understand by my actions howmuch damage I've done.
It's important to understand theperspective.
(19:43):
You don't have to be standingthere in front of your father
with your rags on, smelling ofpig slop and dirty and
disheveled and not having eatenwell to say, I've learned.
But sometimes you do, right?
Sometimes that is where it goes.
But certainly when somebody goesthrough that, they have a
(20:05):
powerful message to give.
to people who are struggling andto the idea of I'm doing this
alone is scary.
Some of us who go through thosesituations where they've done it
alone, they didn't get the help,they didn't get the support,
they have a very strong,powerful message of recovery,
(20:27):
redemption.
And you can convey that.
And so when you're conductingyourself in your daily life and
you feel the thing that youshould in full recovery, and
that is not sobriety, but peace.
When you're peaceful, becausethe storm, you've weathered the
(20:48):
storm, you've come through thestorm, you've survived, and now
you're thriving.
Spreading that message of peaceis a powerful message to others.
And that's really the wholefoundation of what Step 12 is
about.
You've come through the worst ofit.
And now you can be the teacherand the example for people who
(21:11):
are entering into the storm orare in the middle of the storm.
Now, I want to be clear aboutone thing.
Sometimes it feels like peopleare on a mission and And they
really want to be a sponsor.
They want to work with sponsees.
And if you're not trained incounseling or mental health or
(21:31):
substance abuse counseling, itcan be a challenge because you
really have had no experienceother than working with your own
sponsor.
on the steps and taking that outand trying to replicate that.
And that's what people generallydo.
They'll just repeat what theyhad presented to them as
recovery work.
And that's good.
But sometimes it's not so good.
(21:52):
Sometimes you need more thanthat.
Some people go the other extremeand they'll just become drug
counselors or even mental healthcounselors.
There are examples of that.
I know somebody who did that.
Finished his career, retired,and he got into recovery from
drug addiction.
that was throughout his entireworking career and he started
(22:13):
his second career after going toschool and getting a degree in
counseling and being a counselorand specializing in addiction.
And that was awesome.
But you don't need to go to thatextreme.
But at the same time, you maynot have that calling.
What is your calling?
Is it to be a sponsor or is itto do something else?
But I think the idea of Step 12being a mandate that you have to
(22:36):
kind of Go out and spread thegood news and try to carry on
those principles in your ownlife is a very good one.
It doesn't mean that you have togo out and be a sponsor.
It doesn't mean that you have togo out and drag people out of
the jaws of death, you know.
But if you are peaceful and youcarry out the principles in your
(22:58):
daily life and you live a betterlife, that is a gifting that is
helping other people.
It may not even be related torecovery.
Anything you do, you may justwalk away from it.
And that's okay too.
There's nothing wrong with that.
But the idea that I'm going tocarry these principles
throughout my life, througheveryday living, is an important
(23:20):
one.
And it's a good...
and a noble goal to get to.
And so if you're in recovery andyou feel peaceful and you're a
few years in, even if you'rejust right at a year, go out and
touch somebody's life and seewhat it feels like.
(23:41):
Just give them a kind word, asupportive word when you see
them struggling.
Maybe tell them, hey, why don'tyou go to some meetings?
I do it all the time, man.
It's good for you.
It'll help.
That kind of thing.
can really uplift your soul andit helps a little bit of your
own healing.
So go out and do the step 12thing if you can, right?
(24:07):
That's it for this episode ofDoc Shock, Your Addiction
Lifeguard.
This is Dr.
Jacques DeBrucker, yourlifeguard on the beaches of
destruction, trying to help youget to a better place.
If you need help, you can reachout to me through my website,
wellspringmindbody.com, and sendme a message.
You can call me, email me.
(24:28):
If you like this podcast, pleasesubscribe, like, and comment as
you wish.
If you'd like to be on thepodcast or you want to give me
some information about somethingthat you know that might be
helpful.
I'll take it.
But in the meantime, dosomething for your own
addiction.
Get into recovery.
Go to rehab.
Go to a counselor.
Get some help.
Go to a meeting.
(24:49):
Do something.
Don't end your life to save youraddiction.
That's crazy.
So until next time, this is DocJock saying see ya.
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