May 28, 2025 • 23 mins
Today our world is in crisis and it is effecting so many people. What do you do if you are triggered into feeling really uncomfortable by world events?
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Time again for Doc Jacques, Your Addiction
Lifeguard Podcast.
I am Dr.
Jacques Debruckert, apsychologist, licensed
professional counselor, andaddiction specialist.
If you are suffering fromaddiction, misery, trauma,
whatever it is, I'm here tohelp.
If you're in search of help totry to get your life back
together, join me here at DocJacques, Your Addiction
(00:21):
Lifeguard, The AddictionRecovery Podcast.
to be real clear about what thispodcast is intended for it is
(00:41):
intended for entertainment andinformational purposes but not
considered help if you actuallyneed real help and you're in
need of help please seek thatout if you're in dire need of
help you can go to your nearestemergency room or you can check
into a rehab center or call acounselor like me and talk about
(01:01):
your problems and work throughthem but don't rely on a podcast
to be that form of help it's notit's just a podcast it's for
entertainment and informationonly so let's keep it in that
light all right have a good timelearn something and then get the
real help that you need from aprofessional so You know, the
(01:27):
world is really struggling rightnow for a lot of different
reasons.
We have got a disastrousexperience going on, and I know
a lot of people have been very,very upset, some frightened and
angry, and it's a really toughtime for everybody with what's
going on in the Middle East andwhat's going on in Ukraine.
(01:51):
And I'm sure that it's going tobe escalating.
And one of the issues that comesup when stuff like this occurs
is people getting veryfrightened, scared and panicked
and feeling helpless.
And if you have substance usedisorder, you got an addiction
issue.
That is definitely something tocope with, and it's a tragic
(02:13):
kind of experience that bringsthat out on us.
So, you know, the idea of, likeI had used before, the idea of
moving at the speed of painfeels like the world is becoming
big huge disaster a frighteningscary place a lot of people are
experiencing in their citiesprotests and some violence and
(02:38):
we certainly have a whole bunchof stuff that's coming at us in
the news and we can startgetting obsessed with it and
watching it 24 hours a day andconcerned about your loved ones
and if you do have loved ones inuh in israel or in uh gaza and
they're either missing or youknow whatever we should all be
(03:01):
very prayerful about it and andbe contemplative and pray for
them and really let's just hopethat we can not have the world
blow up.
But at the same time, the ideathat somehow the world is ending
for those of us who haveaddiction, it can become very
catastrophic to us and we'rerisking our sobriety.
(03:22):
by experiencing this pain andthe feeling of helplessness and
fear and paranoia and a lot ofthe people that are my friends
my clients the people that arein recovery and other people and
not in recovery are becomingvery very upset and concerned
and it seems like it always isthe case it certainly was during
(03:45):
9-11 it has been I'm in theWashington D.C.
area and the post 9-11 timeperiod was was bad for us we had
all kinds of poisonings thingsgoing being sent through the
mail we had a shooter that wasjust assassinating people in
this area and killed a wholebunch of people 14 or 15 people
(04:08):
just random shootings a sniperthat was killing people we we've
had bomb threats we have allkinds of violence going on and
you know to be honest when it'swhen it's either racially or
religiously motivated it becomeseven more intense because we all
have our feelings about that andI think that there are genuine
valid feelings but the fear ofthat and the fear that that
(04:30):
invokes especially when theyhave terrorism going on is
especially troubling because wedon't feel like we have much in
the way of options of ways toprevent or take care of
ourselves because we don't knowwhat's going to happen so the
paranoia and the concern aboutwhat's going on is valid.
(04:52):
So how do you help yourself withthat?
How do you help other peoplewith that?
And if you have addiction,helping yourself is not getting
high, getting drunk.
That's not helping.
That's actually hurting.
So that's not the answer.
But what is the answer?
Well, you know, we've got tolean into our recovery, lean
into those tools that help usduring those times.
(05:14):
There are times when I've hadpeople who are loved ones very
close to me who have died andgotten cancer or they had heart
attacks or they had thingshappen to them.
They got in car accidents orthey committed suicide.
And it's very troubling.
And at those times when I was inthe worst of my addiction, my
(05:35):
drinking, that's when I did itthe most.
because I felt like that was theonly thing that could help get
rid of the pain, numb it out atleast.
And, you know, if you are inrecovery and you're concerned
about that, go back to thebasics, man.
Get back into meetings.
Go call up your old sponsor.
Go talk to the people that werearound you when you were working
(05:57):
on your recovery and don't fallinto...
the idea of the isolation part,living in fear in your head.
That's you not doing what youcan to help your sobriety.
So that's you moving very slowlyat the speed of pain.
If you're moving too fast at thespeed of pain, things are
accelerating in your life, thenthat's when you need that human
(06:20):
connection more than ever,perhaps.
talking to others being withothers um and and sharing so get
back to the basics of go tomeetings go go get with your
peers talk to them about thethings that are troubling you
that's that's an empowermentmove that's you being able to
move forward and be empowered inyour recovery um not the the
(06:44):
helplessness and i think alsowhen you start to go into that
That thinking that's youthinking that you are by
yourself or you can't doanything about anything.
All you can do is experience thebad and wait for the worst
things to come up.
That's problematic.
So there are certain things thatyou can do to prevent that as
(07:06):
well that are behavioral.
For example, if you are a personwho is prone towards anxiety and
you find yourself...
just glued to your televisionset and the news or listening
always to the news on podcasts,not podcasts, on your phone and
(07:29):
you've got radio stations oryou're listening to a satellite
radio station, a news channel,whatever.
Give yourself a break for a bit.
Turn it off for a while.
You don't have to listen to itcontinuously.
You don't have to be in thatplace where you're constantly
waiting for the next worst news.
I think it's wonderful that wehave access to 24-hour news, but
(07:50):
24-hour news requires that youhave some information coming out
the mouth of the person who'sthe anchor, who's the
newscaster.
They have to be able to saysomething.
So what they tend to do iscontinually repeat the same
information that we used to onlylisten to for a half an hour
each day between 6.30 and 7 onthe national news, at least in
(08:12):
this country, that's what itwas.
CNN started and then we had 24hour news and things don't
happen in 24 hour cycles.
They happen in shorter bursts,but they get talked about on a
24 hour news channel, 24 hours.
So maybe turn it off for awhile.
Give yourself a break.
You have to live your life.
(08:34):
It's much like when theexperience that we had going
through the coronavirushappened.
People were glued to theirtelevision sets with the news
and waiting for the nextcatastrophe to happen when it
was not going to happen rightaway or maybe at all.
But it's different if you haveloved ones who are being exposed
(08:56):
to what's going on, if you haveloved ones in the country of
Israel, in Gaza.
it can be problematic I havefriends in Israel I have people
that I know and I worry aboutthem and I pray for them I can't
really do much anything else andthat's it and so I don't worry
(09:20):
about them 24 hours a day.
I have people that I worry abouthere where I am in Northern
Virginia who I know suffer whenthey take this stuff on.
It bothers them.
Perhaps it brings out some PTSD,some post-traumatic stress
disorder issues.
Some of the combat vets that Iknow who I work with, I know
(09:44):
they're struggling right now.
Because the experience that wenton really over the last two
years with the pullingeverything out of Afghanistan
was upsetting to them and howthat was done.
And now moving into where we'reat with what's going on with
Hamas and the IDF and thefighting.
(10:08):
And it reminds them of what theywent through.
And They lose time and place.
And that's kind of what happenswhen you get very upset about
things.
You lose time and place.
So you have to get back intotime and place.
And if you're bombardingyourself with all this
information 24 hours a day,you're not in time and place.
Every minute bleeds into thenext and it just becomes a blur.
(10:31):
So take a break from it.
You can't really do much aboutit.
If you don't have the ability todo anything about it, then take
a break for a while.
Listen to it in bursts.
Expose yourself in bursts.
And if you are having troublecoping, like I said, get into
(10:54):
meetings.
Get in with your peers and sharesome of that.
Offload that concern, thatparanoia, that upset.
Because if you use...
You know, you're harmingyourself.
If you're in sobriety, you'vebeen in it for a while and you
use, you're risking losingeverything.
I'm not sure how that helpsanybody, right?
If you're early in your recoveryand you're struggling, then that
(11:17):
certainly is not going to helpbecause it's going to put you
back where you were.
So we share and we feel relieffrom that sharing.
We carry a burden by ourself andor we learn to let it go.
There is that story.
It's a great recovery story ofthe two monks who are walking
(11:39):
through the woods and they comeupon a stream and it's been
raining a lot.
And so the stream is completelyoverflowing and it's rather
deep.
It's probably three feet deep.
Whereas before it was just alittle stone walkway that you
could go over the little stream.
Now it's kind of more like ariver.
(12:00):
and they see these two buddhistmonks see this woman standing on
the shore and she's crying she'svery upset and they walk over to
her to see if they can helpbecause they don't and they
don't know what's wrong so theytalk to her and they ask her
what's wrong and she says thatshe has to get across the stream
but she's a very elegantlydressed in very elegant clothes
(12:22):
that are made of silk and if shewalks across the stream she will
ruin her clothing and she saysthat she has a wedding that she
has to go to and that she can'tget across the stream and
they're not completely familiarwith the area so they suggest
that maybe there's a bridgefurther down the stream one way
or the other and she says thereisn't and so The two monks are
(12:46):
listening to this and she's veryupset and they don't know what
to do.
And the older monk looks at theyounger monk and says, well, and
then he looks over at the womanand says, I'll carry you across
the stream.
So she thanks the older monkprofusely and he picks her up in
his arms and holds her andcarries her carefully across the
(13:08):
stream.
And on the other side of thestream, he sets her down.
And she thanks him again.
And the younger monk who's withhim follows behind them.
And she tries to pay them, buthe refuses the money.
And she again thanks him.
And then she goes on her way.
(13:30):
And the two, the older monk andthe younger monk, go on their
way.
And they walk.
The two monks walk for anotherfew hours and they decide
they're going to stop and restfor a bit because they're
getting tired and they've beenwalking all day.
So they sit down and the youngermonk, after sitting there for
five or ten minutes or so, looksover at the older monk and says,
(13:50):
I am confused and bothered bysomething.
Very troubled.
And the older monk says, what istroubling you?
And the younger monk says, I'mreally, really troubled because
we are Buddhist monks and wetake on a vow of chastity and
poverty and and sometimessilence and we engage in fasting
(14:13):
and we deprive ourselves ofthese worldly behaviors to show
our faith.
And you carried her across theriver and you held her in your
arms.
And he said, we're not supposedto do that.
And that really troubles me.
It's been bothering me the wholetime.
(14:35):
And the older monk looks at theyounger monk and says, well,
see, that's the difference thatage and wisdom will bring you.
And the younger monk says, Idon't understand what you're
talking about.
And he says, well, I did pick upthat woman and I did hold her
close to me and I did carry heracross the river, but I didn't
(14:55):
do it because I was trying toget gratification from uh for
for doing it i didn't want toget sexual gratification i
didn't think anything about thatbut it was troubling to me at
the time too because i'm notsupposed to do that i'm not
supposed to touch a woman but ididn't really have much of a
choice the only way i could helpher was to do that i couldn't do
(15:18):
anything but so i carried heracross the stream and it
bothered me and i sat her downand she thanked me and she went
on her way and i didn't thinkanything more about it the
younger monk says well that'snot right that's bothered me
since you did that i don'tunderstand how you can just
dismiss it and he said wellthat's what the older monk says
that's what wisdom tells me isthat if it's what's in my heart
(15:41):
that matters and what why i wasdoing what i was doing and i had
no choice so i was serving her iwasn't getting gratification
from her and it didn't bother meafter i put her down because i
was okay with that And he said,so I only carried her across the
stream.
You've actually been carryingher for the last two hours.
(16:05):
And that's kind of what it iswith things that bother us when
we are powerless and how we dealwith them.
And addiction is one of thethings that our addiction makes
us hang on to things andruminate on things and feel
horrible about things and wecannot stop thinking about them.
So recovery is about learninghow to deal with things, how to
(16:29):
put them down and then be atpeace with what's going on.
And we certainly do that in thestep work, right?
I mean, we bring up all thatstuff that bothers us and we
have been carrying it around.
That's what step four is about.
The fearless searching moralinventory of your character
defects.
It's all the things that werewrong and bad and that you hate
about yourself and what you'vedone and what other people have
(16:51):
done to you.
And then through theacknowledgement of that, and
especially in step five, whenyou're saying it out loud to
yourself, another person and toGod, the nature and extent of
those character defects, thoseare the things that help us
identify identify what we instep six and seven prepare
ourselves to to let go to belifted from us and to then have
(17:12):
them lifted from us and to workto continue to do that and that
is with everyday life as well sothat we can further do the
mending of those fences so tospeak in step nine and we do
that with ourselves and we do itwith other people as well So,
when things are going wrong inyour life or the world is
(17:33):
blowing up around you, listen,you only have two choices.
You can either be sober andclean or you can be using.
And that's it.
There is no in-between.
It's very binary.
It's ones and zeros.
You're either clean and sober oryou're not.
And if you're going to succumbto usage, that puts you into the
(17:55):
or not category.
And we know where that leads,right?
We all do because we've all doneit.
So learning to put stuff down,keeping stuff in perspective
really falls in line with thatidea of the serenity prayer of
knowing the things you canchange and knowing the things
that you can't change and havingthe wisdom to know the
(18:15):
difference.
So accepting those things,accepting what you can and can't
change.
You can't change what goes on inthe world unless you're in that
space where you can.
If you were in Israel, youcould, but you can't.
And these people that are outthere protesting and
demonstrating, that's fine.
But you know what?
You're actually making thingsworse.
(18:38):
And if that's what's in yourheart, I feel bad for you.
So Accepting the things that youcan change.
What can you change?
Well, you can change your partof the world, your little area
around you.
You can change that.
You can change it for thebetter.
You can be accepting of themistakes that people make and
(19:02):
you can be forgiving.
Of course, you have to defendyourself, but you can.
And so you can change that.
I can leave here where I amtoday in my studio and I can
make somebody's life better bybeing pleasant, nice, caring,
supportive in whatever way orwhatever thing they're dealing
(19:22):
with, whether it's addiction ortheir car's broken down or they
just need a kind word.
I can give that.
That's me making my differencein the world.
And you can do the same.
And in your sobriety, findingways to do that.
That's why going out andspreading the good news.
If I were to relate it to astep, that's step 12.
(19:45):
You can make a difference inthat way.
We all have to live in thisworld.
And so doing that, we have to bekind and caring and giving.
But we have to be tough and haveboundaries and be firm
sometimes.
But knowing when you should dothat.
and when you need to extend moreof a caring hand.
(20:07):
So if you have a friend outthere or you have a family
member who is suffering and you,as part of your recovery, you
want to try to make a differenceand somehow cope with your
feelings, sometimes what helpsis if you go and support and
care for the other person.
So if somebody is suffering, bethere with them, right?
(20:27):
You know what proximity does.
You know proximity is a healer.
So go and be a healer in thatproximity.
Be close to them, be with themso that you can bring some
relief to their world becausethat's really what helps keep
(20:48):
you sober, right?
Connectivity.
Isolation is addiction's bestfriend.
So if you're staying at home andyou're feeling miserable, you're
feeling helpless, you're feelingangry, resentful, That
isolation, that's going totrigger you into usage.
I can promise it.
So, just like those Buddhistmonks, you have to be able to
(21:11):
put it down and be at peace withputting it down because you have
no choice.
And if you think that hanging onto it's going to make it better,
you are mistaken.
It's not.
It's probably going to make itworse.
So, let's...
let's let's pray for the peoplethat are suffering and the the
(21:36):
individuals who were hostagesand are perhaps in a bad place
and let's pray for this to endquickly and soon and let's bring
some sanity back into the worldand hopefully it will appear and
show up and soon but don'truminate and Go back into usage.
(22:00):
Get back with your peers.
Get in the community.
Get the support.
Circle the wagons around you ifyou feel you're at risk.
And if you have already startedusing, again, call some people.
Get back in touch with thepeople that helped you get into
sobriety.
It's not worth going back outjust to cope because you're
(22:24):
going to be in a world of pain.
So I hope that helps you inthese times difficult and trying
times and um let's let's saythat we can all work together to
say to stay sane stable andsober well that's it for this
episode of doc shock youraddiction lifeguard i hope
(22:45):
you've gotten something fromthis podcast i don't want to say
something entertaining or funbut These are difficult times,
man.
And if you need help, please goto an emergency room, call a
therapist, call a psychiatrist,go see a doctor.
Go to a meeting.
Do something.
But don't give up your life justto save your addiction.
(23:07):
And if you are really, reallytroubled, you can reach out for
help.
Find it.
I wish the news was bettertoday.
Hopefully it'll be better soon.
And...
Catch the next Doc Shock, YourAddiction Lifeguard podcast to
learn how to get sane, stable,and sober.
So I do appreciate youlistening, and until the next
(23:29):
episode, this is Doc Shock, YourAddiction Lifeguard, saying see
ya.
Time again for Doc Jacques, Your Addiction
Lifeguard Podcast.
I am Dr.
Jacques Debruckert, apsychologist, licensed
professional counselor, andaddiction specialist.
If you are suffering fromaddiction, misery, trauma,
whatever it is, I'm here tohelp.
If you're in search of help totry to get your life back
together, join me here at DocJacques, Your Addiction
(00:21):
Lifeguard, The AddictionRecovery Podcast.
to be real clear about what thispodcast is intended for it is
(00:41):
intended for entertainment andinformational purposes but not
considered help if you actuallyneed real help and you're in
need of help please seek thatout if you're in dire need of
help you can go to your nearestemergency room or you can check
into a rehab center or call acounselor like me and talk about
(01:01):
your problems and work throughthem but don't rely on a podcast
to be that form of help it's notit's just a podcast it's for
entertainment and informationonly so let's keep it in that
light all right have a good timelearn something and then get the
real help that you need from aprofessional so You know, the
(01:27):
world is really struggling rightnow for a lot of different
reasons.
We have got a disastrousexperience going on, and I know
a lot of people have been very,very upset, some frightened and
angry, and it's a really toughtime for everybody with what's
going on in the Middle East andwhat's going on in Ukraine.
(01:51):
And I'm sure that it's going tobe escalating.
And one of the issues that comesup when stuff like this occurs
is people getting veryfrightened, scared and panicked
and feeling helpless.
And if you have substance usedisorder, you got an addiction
issue.
That is definitely something tocope with, and it's a tragic
(02:13):
kind of experience that bringsthat out on us.
So, you know, the idea of, likeI had used before, the idea of
moving at the speed of painfeels like the world is becoming
big huge disaster a frighteningscary place a lot of people are
experiencing in their citiesprotests and some violence and
(02:38):
we certainly have a whole bunchof stuff that's coming at us in
the news and we can startgetting obsessed with it and
watching it 24 hours a day andconcerned about your loved ones
and if you do have loved ones inuh in israel or in uh gaza and
they're either missing or youknow whatever we should all be
(03:01):
very prayerful about it and andbe contemplative and pray for
them and really let's just hopethat we can not have the world
blow up.
But at the same time, the ideathat somehow the world is ending
for those of us who haveaddiction, it can become very
catastrophic to us and we'rerisking our sobriety.
(03:22):
by experiencing this pain andthe feeling of helplessness and
fear and paranoia and a lot ofthe people that are my friends
my clients the people that arein recovery and other people and
not in recovery are becomingvery very upset and concerned
and it seems like it always isthe case it certainly was during
(03:45):
9-11 it has been I'm in theWashington D.C.
area and the post 9-11 timeperiod was was bad for us we had
all kinds of poisonings thingsgoing being sent through the
mail we had a shooter that wasjust assassinating people in
this area and killed a wholebunch of people 14 or 15 people
(04:08):
just random shootings a sniperthat was killing people we we've
had bomb threats we have allkinds of violence going on and
you know to be honest when it'swhen it's either racially or
religiously motivated it becomeseven more intense because we all
have our feelings about that andI think that there are genuine
valid feelings but the fear ofthat and the fear that that
(04:30):
invokes especially when theyhave terrorism going on is
especially troubling because wedon't feel like we have much in
the way of options of ways toprevent or take care of
ourselves because we don't knowwhat's going to happen so the
paranoia and the concern aboutwhat's going on is valid.
(04:52):
So how do you help yourself withthat?
How do you help other peoplewith that?
And if you have addiction,helping yourself is not getting
high, getting drunk.
That's not helping.
That's actually hurting.
So that's not the answer.
But what is the answer?
Well, you know, we've got tolean into our recovery, lean
into those tools that help usduring those times.
(05:14):
There are times when I've hadpeople who are loved ones very
close to me who have died andgotten cancer or they had heart
attacks or they had thingshappen to them.
They got in car accidents orthey committed suicide.
And it's very troubling.
And at those times when I was inthe worst of my addiction, my
(05:35):
drinking, that's when I did itthe most.
because I felt like that was theonly thing that could help get
rid of the pain, numb it out atleast.
And, you know, if you are inrecovery and you're concerned
about that, go back to thebasics, man.
Get back into meetings.
Go call up your old sponsor.
Go talk to the people that werearound you when you were working
(05:57):
on your recovery and don't fallinto...
the idea of the isolation part,living in fear in your head.
That's you not doing what youcan to help your sobriety.
So that's you moving very slowlyat the speed of pain.
If you're moving too fast at thespeed of pain, things are
accelerating in your life, thenthat's when you need that human
(06:20):
connection more than ever,perhaps.
talking to others being withothers um and and sharing so get
back to the basics of go tomeetings go go get with your
peers talk to them about thethings that are troubling you
that's that's an empowermentmove that's you being able to
move forward and be empowered inyour recovery um not the the
(06:44):
helplessness and i think alsowhen you start to go into that
That thinking that's youthinking that you are by
yourself or you can't doanything about anything.
All you can do is experience thebad and wait for the worst
things to come up.
That's problematic.
So there are certain things thatyou can do to prevent that as
(07:06):
well that are behavioral.
For example, if you are a personwho is prone towards anxiety and
you find yourself...
just glued to your televisionset and the news or listening
always to the news on podcasts,not podcasts, on your phone and
(07:29):
you've got radio stations oryou're listening to a satellite
radio station, a news channel,whatever.
Give yourself a break for a bit.
Turn it off for a while.
You don't have to listen to itcontinuously.
You don't have to be in thatplace where you're constantly
waiting for the next worst news.
I think it's wonderful that wehave access to 24-hour news, but
(07:50):
24-hour news requires that youhave some information coming out
the mouth of the person who'sthe anchor, who's the
newscaster.
They have to be able to saysomething.
So what they tend to do iscontinually repeat the same
information that we used to onlylisten to for a half an hour
each day between 6.30 and 7 onthe national news, at least in
(08:12):
this country, that's what itwas.
CNN started and then we had 24hour news and things don't
happen in 24 hour cycles.
They happen in shorter bursts,but they get talked about on a
24 hour news channel, 24 hours.
So maybe turn it off for awhile.
Give yourself a break.
You have to live your life.
(08:34):
It's much like when theexperience that we had going
through the coronavirushappened.
People were glued to theirtelevision sets with the news
and waiting for the nextcatastrophe to happen when it
was not going to happen rightaway or maybe at all.
But it's different if you haveloved ones who are being exposed
(08:56):
to what's going on, if you haveloved ones in the country of
Israel, in Gaza.
it can be problematic I havefriends in Israel I have people
that I know and I worry aboutthem and I pray for them I can't
really do much anything else andthat's it and so I don't worry
(09:20):
about them 24 hours a day.
I have people that I worry abouthere where I am in Northern
Virginia who I know suffer whenthey take this stuff on.
It bothers them.
Perhaps it brings out some PTSD,some post-traumatic stress
disorder issues.
Some of the combat vets that Iknow who I work with, I know
(09:44):
they're struggling right now.
Because the experience that wenton really over the last two
years with the pullingeverything out of Afghanistan
was upsetting to them and howthat was done.
And now moving into where we'reat with what's going on with
Hamas and the IDF and thefighting.
(10:08):
And it reminds them of what theywent through.
And They lose time and place.
And that's kind of what happenswhen you get very upset about
things.
You lose time and place.
So you have to get back intotime and place.
And if you're bombardingyourself with all this
information 24 hours a day,you're not in time and place.
Every minute bleeds into thenext and it just becomes a blur.
(10:31):
So take a break from it.
You can't really do much aboutit.
If you don't have the ability todo anything about it, then take
a break for a while.
Listen to it in bursts.
Expose yourself in bursts.
And if you are having troublecoping, like I said, get into
(10:54):
meetings.
Get in with your peers and sharesome of that.
Offload that concern, thatparanoia, that upset.
Because if you use...
You know, you're harmingyourself.
If you're in sobriety, you'vebeen in it for a while and you
use, you're risking losingeverything.
I'm not sure how that helpsanybody, right?
If you're early in your recoveryand you're struggling, then that
(11:17):
certainly is not going to helpbecause it's going to put you
back where you were.
So we share and we feel relieffrom that sharing.
We carry a burden by ourself andor we learn to let it go.
There is that story.
It's a great recovery story ofthe two monks who are walking
(11:39):
through the woods and they comeupon a stream and it's been
raining a lot.
And so the stream is completelyoverflowing and it's rather
deep.
It's probably three feet deep.
Whereas before it was just alittle stone walkway that you
could go over the little stream.
Now it's kind of more like ariver.
(12:00):
and they see these two buddhistmonks see this woman standing on
the shore and she's crying she'svery upset and they walk over to
her to see if they can helpbecause they don't and they
don't know what's wrong so theytalk to her and they ask her
what's wrong and she says thatshe has to get across the stream
but she's a very elegantlydressed in very elegant clothes
(12:22):
that are made of silk and if shewalks across the stream she will
ruin her clothing and she saysthat she has a wedding that she
has to go to and that she can'tget across the stream and
they're not completely familiarwith the area so they suggest
that maybe there's a bridgefurther down the stream one way
or the other and she says thereisn't and so The two monks are
(12:46):
listening to this and she's veryupset and they don't know what
to do.
And the older monk looks at theyounger monk and says, well, and
then he looks over at the womanand says, I'll carry you across
the stream.
So she thanks the older monkprofusely and he picks her up in
his arms and holds her andcarries her carefully across the
(13:08):
stream.
And on the other side of thestream, he sets her down.
And she thanks him again.
And the younger monk who's withhim follows behind them.
And she tries to pay them, buthe refuses the money.
And she again thanks him.
And then she goes on her way.
(13:30):
And the two, the older monk andthe younger monk, go on their
way.
And they walk.
The two monks walk for anotherfew hours and they decide
they're going to stop and restfor a bit because they're
getting tired and they've beenwalking all day.
So they sit down and the youngermonk, after sitting there for
five or ten minutes or so, looksover at the older monk and says,
(13:50):
I am confused and bothered bysomething.
Very troubled.
And the older monk says, what istroubling you?
And the younger monk says, I'mreally, really troubled because
we are Buddhist monks and wetake on a vow of chastity and
poverty and and sometimessilence and we engage in fasting
(14:13):
and we deprive ourselves ofthese worldly behaviors to show
our faith.
And you carried her across theriver and you held her in your
arms.
And he said, we're not supposedto do that.
And that really troubles me.
It's been bothering me the wholetime.
(14:35):
And the older monk looks at theyounger monk and says, well,
see, that's the difference thatage and wisdom will bring you.
And the younger monk says, Idon't understand what you're
talking about.
And he says, well, I did pick upthat woman and I did hold her
close to me and I did carry heracross the river, but I didn't
(14:55):
do it because I was trying toget gratification from uh for
for doing it i didn't want toget sexual gratification i
didn't think anything about thatbut it was troubling to me at
the time too because i'm notsupposed to do that i'm not
supposed to touch a woman but ididn't really have much of a
choice the only way i could helpher was to do that i couldn't do
(15:18):
anything but so i carried heracross the stream and it
bothered me and i sat her downand she thanked me and she went
on her way and i didn't thinkanything more about it the
younger monk says well that'snot right that's bothered me
since you did that i don'tunderstand how you can just
dismiss it and he said wellthat's what the older monk says
that's what wisdom tells me isthat if it's what's in my heart
(15:41):
that matters and what why i wasdoing what i was doing and i had
no choice so i was serving her iwasn't getting gratification
from her and it didn't bother meafter i put her down because i
was okay with that And he said,so I only carried her across the
stream.
You've actually been carryingher for the last two hours.
(16:05):
And that's kind of what it iswith things that bother us when
we are powerless and how we dealwith them.
And addiction is one of thethings that our addiction makes
us hang on to things andruminate on things and feel
horrible about things and wecannot stop thinking about them.
So recovery is about learninghow to deal with things, how to
(16:29):
put them down and then be atpeace with what's going on.
And we certainly do that in thestep work, right?
I mean, we bring up all thatstuff that bothers us and we
have been carrying it around.
That's what step four is about.
The fearless searching moralinventory of your character
defects.
It's all the things that werewrong and bad and that you hate
about yourself and what you'vedone and what other people have
(16:51):
done to you.
And then through theacknowledgement of that, and
especially in step five, whenyou're saying it out loud to
yourself, another person and toGod, the nature and extent of
those character defects, thoseare the things that help us
identify identify what we instep six and seven prepare
ourselves to to let go to belifted from us and to then have
(17:12):
them lifted from us and to workto continue to do that and that
is with everyday life as well sothat we can further do the
mending of those fences so tospeak in step nine and we do
that with ourselves and we do itwith other people as well So,
when things are going wrong inyour life or the world is
(17:33):
blowing up around you, listen,you only have two choices.
You can either be sober andclean or you can be using.
And that's it.
There is no in-between.
It's very binary.
It's ones and zeros.
You're either clean and sober oryou're not.
And if you're going to succumbto usage, that puts you into the
(17:55):
or not category.
And we know where that leads,right?
We all do because we've all doneit.
So learning to put stuff down,keeping stuff in perspective
really falls in line with thatidea of the serenity prayer of
knowing the things you canchange and knowing the things
that you can't change and havingthe wisdom to know the
(18:15):
difference.
So accepting those things,accepting what you can and can't
change.
You can't change what goes on inthe world unless you're in that
space where you can.
If you were in Israel, youcould, but you can't.
And these people that are outthere protesting and
demonstrating, that's fine.
But you know what?
You're actually making thingsworse.
(18:38):
And if that's what's in yourheart, I feel bad for you.
So Accepting the things that youcan change.
What can you change?
Well, you can change your partof the world, your little area
around you.
You can change that.
You can change it for thebetter.
You can be accepting of themistakes that people make and
(19:02):
you can be forgiving.
Of course, you have to defendyourself, but you can.
And so you can change that.
I can leave here where I amtoday in my studio and I can
make somebody's life better bybeing pleasant, nice, caring,
supportive in whatever way orwhatever thing they're dealing
(19:22):
with, whether it's addiction ortheir car's broken down or they
just need a kind word.
I can give that.
That's me making my differencein the world.
And you can do the same.
And in your sobriety, findingways to do that.
That's why going out andspreading the good news.
If I were to relate it to astep, that's step 12.
(19:45):
You can make a difference inthat way.
We all have to live in thisworld.
And so doing that, we have to bekind and caring and giving.
But we have to be tough and haveboundaries and be firm
sometimes.
But knowing when you should dothat.
and when you need to extend moreof a caring hand.
(20:07):
So if you have a friend outthere or you have a family
member who is suffering and you,as part of your recovery, you
want to try to make a differenceand somehow cope with your
feelings, sometimes what helpsis if you go and support and
care for the other person.
So if somebody is suffering, bethere with them, right?
(20:27):
You know what proximity does.
You know proximity is a healer.
So go and be a healer in thatproximity.
Be close to them, be with themso that you can bring some
relief to their world becausethat's really what helps keep
(20:48):
you sober, right?
Connectivity.
Isolation is addiction's bestfriend.
So if you're staying at home andyou're feeling miserable, you're
feeling helpless, you're feelingangry, resentful, That
isolation, that's going totrigger you into usage.
I can promise it.
So, just like those Buddhistmonks, you have to be able to
(21:11):
put it down and be at peace withputting it down because you have
no choice.
And if you think that hanging onto it's going to make it better,
you are mistaken.
It's not.
It's probably going to make itworse.
So, let's...
let's let's pray for the peoplethat are suffering and the the
(21:36):
individuals who were hostagesand are perhaps in a bad place
and let's pray for this to endquickly and soon and let's bring
some sanity back into the worldand hopefully it will appear and
show up and soon but don'truminate and Go back into usage.
(22:00):
Get back with your peers.
Get in the community.
Get the support.
Circle the wagons around you ifyou feel you're at risk.
And if you have already startedusing, again, call some people.
Get back in touch with thepeople that helped you get into
sobriety.
It's not worth going back outjust to cope because you're
(22:24):
going to be in a world of pain.
So I hope that helps you inthese times difficult and trying
times and um let's let's saythat we can all work together to
say to stay sane stable andsober well that's it for this
episode of doc shock youraddiction lifeguard i hope
(22:45):
you've gotten something fromthis podcast i don't want to say
something entertaining or funbut These are difficult times,
man.
And if you need help, please goto an emergency room, call a
therapist, call a psychiatrist,go see a doctor.
Go to a meeting.
Do something.
But don't give up your life justto save your addiction.
(23:07):
And if you are really, reallytroubled, you can reach out for
help.
Find it.
I wish the news was bettertoday.
Hopefully it'll be better soon.
And...
Catch the next Doc Shock, YourAddiction Lifeguard podcast to
learn how to get sane, stable,and sober.
So I do appreciate youlistening, and until the next
(23:29):
episode, this is Doc Shock, YourAddiction Lifeguard, saying see
ya.
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