July 8, 2025 • 21 mins
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Whether you're a medical student, resident, or mid-career physician questioning how you can protect your inner peace at work without quitting, this segment offers practical strategies on steps you can take to avoid becoming bitter and burned out. We explored how career choices like locum tenens, can provide the flexibility to practice medicine you love without becoming consumed by it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, guys.
If you missed this last segment, you missed a whole lot.
Dr Nii was talking about howhe's going to run 5K in under 20
minutes and bench 250 pounds,and he threw a shot at me,
basically saying I wasn't takingcare of my body.
So I think you should go backand listen to that if you
haven't.
And now we're going to betalking about All right y'all,
(00:21):
let's get into our next topic.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
We got a question from the audience.
We finally got to our question,so here is a question that who
are just burned out and bitterand it's starting to scare me.
I don't want to leave medicine,but I also don't want to end up
like that.
How do you protect your peaceand still stay in the game?
Hw those are the initials.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
HW.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
This is a very good question.
You want me to read it again toyou, or you got it.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
No, how do you protect your peace without
burning out?
I mean, listen, that's the ageold question, right?
And the fact that HW is aresident asking this question
because the attendings in theresidency program look like they
either bitter.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We've been there, we've seen it, we've seen it
About to fall out, don't I howmany attendings you saw that
were bitter?
I saw mad attendings.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
You know, divorcing can't make it to their kids
stuff.
You know, yeah, can't make itto their kids stuff.
You know, yeah, I mean the waythat we protect our pieces.
We do locums that's no.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
How do you protect your piece?
Answer for yourself.
Don't put us in there.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
We ain't sick boss, you answer it we sick and we do
locums answer for yourself, manso I mean, but that's my answer,
you know, in terms of liketerms of my career, I do locums,
I get to pick when I want towork, when I, when I'm not
(02:16):
available, um, and that allowsme to do, you know, the work
that love, but not be soinundated by it that it starts
to become the thing that I hate.
And I think you know it'simportant for people to realize
that early in their careers thatthe thing that you love very,
(02:37):
very much can encroach so muchupon your time, your bandwidth,
your mental stamina, the thingthat you're chasing the most,
the thing that you're chasingthe most.
The thing that you're chasingthe most You'll run away from
All of a sudden.
Now it's chasing you.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
You run away from it.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
It's chasing you.
So you know, for me it's locums, for other people it might be
really putting boundaries on.
If you're not going to dolocums, putting boundaries on.
Hey, are you stealing my notesyo?
Speaker 2 (03:10):
What You're just stealing my anyway, keep going.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Putting boundaries on how you work, even if you're a
W-2, right and just reallysticking to those boundaries.
Right and just really stickingto those boundaries.
But understanding that you know, if you're going to put
boundaries up, that it might bea little risky in terms of your
interactions with people, yourability to get promoted.
(03:38):
So, for example right, we allknow, if you are working full
scope OB, that you're going togenerate work.
Right, so you're going to haveoutput which in which equals
inbox.
Ok, your output equals inboxand your inbox is not going to
(04:02):
stop.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
It's just not now you talking about the following up
on results.
You're talking about notes.
You got to break it down forpeople, dr Renee.
Come on, I am.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
So you know, following up on results, you may
be somebody who says listen, Ido not under any circumstance
take work home with me, I justdon't.
So the question becomes that'sfine.
The question now becomes whatdoes that mean?
(04:36):
Does that mean you are notgoing to finish that inbox and
you'll get to it another day?
Or does that mean you stayingat work until that inbox is done
, just so that you don't have totake the work home with you?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
you gotta, you have a decision to make that's what
single people or people who areheading towards divorce do the
latter well, you, you havenobody to go home either way.
I ain't got nobody home.
I ain't got nobody to go hometo yeah, but that's still that.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That still messes with your mental bandwidth, you
know so how long you want to bein that, or do you want to bring
the word home with you?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I say this, yo Protecting your peace is not
optional at this point.
It is not optional, yo.
This is survival, compulsory,if you guys.
Compulsory survival, whicheverway you want to hear this yo,
protecting your peace is notsomething that you negotiate, it
is not something that isoptional I'll deal with it next
week.
It is something that you, inorder to survive, in order to
(05:26):
get through this, you gotta, yougotta, prioritize this.
That's it, you know.
And I think that, um, if I wereto look back and answer this
question, um, to even myself, Ithink what I would say is um
success.
I have to look at itdifferently, cause you remember,
my success for me was, oh betrauma program manager, a
(05:47):
director, I want to be achairperson, all these different
things, of things that I sawwhen I was in residency, or
maybe as a medical student, butdidn't really know the
implications of that Right, andyou know, like I think it's
really for me it's like allright, I want to be the best
clinician.
That I's like all right, I wantto be the best clinician that I
can be.
I mean, I want to be the bestclinician that I can be, but
(06:08):
also, at the same time, I needenergy.
Right, like I need to, like Ifeel very confident to say like
I need energy for my family, foryou to take you to go get shoes
for your family.
What?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
shoes.
Nii, what shoes, what shoes?
Tell me the shoes you took meto go get.
Tell me, go ahead, cap it up,go ahead.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Keep going, keep hiding Well you know it's just
time for you, time for the boys,time for the rest of our family
.
That stuff is important to me.
You know me already.
Like when we first met, thebiggest thing that I always said
you know is the most importantthing is family.
Like that is huge for me.
And to some extent also likeall those things put together,
(06:58):
then, looking ahead, is myfuture right?
Like who do I see myself in 10years?
And then, when I go back andlook at myself, do am I going to
respect myself Right?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
So that's something like to get to that point.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah, so I got to redefine success.
I think that's that's the thingthat I think for this resident
who's writing in like you got toreally think about.
What does success mean to you?
Does success mean, you know,checking all of the boxes so
that you can get the promotion,or that you can get the letters
after your name, or that you canbecome chairperson or
chairwoman, or whatever it maybe?
Is that important?
(07:32):
Or being as balanced aspossible?
You're going to have to figurethat out for yourself, but I do
want you to know.
There's a lot of people out nowwho are just like look like, I
gotta figure out how to balancethis.
I it's more than just beinglike a great clinician.
I gotta be able to handle allthese different things.
That's part of it yeah I, I I doalso agree with you about the
setting boundaries like early,like you gotta know, you gotta
(07:52):
say no yeah, you have to knowwhen to say no.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
But the defining success, I think, is majorly
important because I think thatpeople don't understand a lot of
times what success comes withRight.
Like I was talking to our niecethe other day and I was, you
know we were talking about.
Like you know how women are.
Like, oh, I want a man who's asix figure and he's this and
(08:20):
he's that and he's got to go.
High value man.
A high value man, I don't knowwhat that means.
I want a high value man.
I want this, I want that, Iwant him to be.
You know all these things.
You know and they look at youknow all the things that he's
accomplished or accumulated andfor them like that's the person
that they want to be with andthat's fine.
But also understand that inorder for him to accomplish and
(08:45):
accumulate those things, he gotto work.
Ain't nobody giving somebodywho's just sitting on their bum
all day six-figure salary.
Six-figure salary.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Did you think like that when you were younger?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
That when a high-value man Like younger that
I'm a high-value man.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Like I know you don't use high because high-value man
wasn't a thing in the 80s.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
But, like you know, like did you when I was younger.
I just honestly, just a job.
I mean, I'm young and I'm not.
You know, I wasn't like, Iwasn't at a point in my life
where I felt like, oh, I want aguy who's making six figures and
this, that I don't think I'veever said that Like, that's not
(09:25):
something that.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Do you think that social media plays a role?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
No, I don't think that that's social media.
I think that people no, I don'tthink it's social media playing
a role.
I think that social mediarevealing what a lot of people
are already thinking.
I want a high value man, I wanta man who makes this that the
other blah, blah, blah.
When I was younger, I neverreally thought about you know,
do I want a man with X, y and Z,like these things?
(09:54):
Right?
I did want somebody with a job,because I used to always say,
like well, if a man's notdedicated to himself, I can be
dedicated to you.
At the very least he should bededicated to himself.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
You who was making six figures, as opposed to the
guy who just had a job rightbecause they were taking care of
themselves.
Did you ever find yourselfattracted?
(10:25):
Mainly because that person wasmaking six figures?
You know they're giving you acertain type of lifestyle that
you became accustomed to.
This.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Accustomed to that no because, especially because I
was.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I know you're going to say it on the show anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
No, I didn't, but especially because I think I was
always very afraid.
I think I was always veryafraid that the relationship
would be imbalanced and verytransactional.
That's always to be honest.
What does that?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
mean?
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Meaning right, when you have, for example, there are
men out there who are like.
We know one doctor who's outthere right, puts out there all
the time that you know he'slooking for a wife, he's ready
to settle down, he's looking fora wife and this wife will never
have to work and he will takecare of her and he will pay all
(11:23):
the bills and he will do all the.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You think that's Catholic.
I think he's Catholic.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I don't know of that, I don't know, but there are
some men who are like that right, get your own viewpoint.
But Dr Renee's viewpoint ofthat is that you're not looking
for a wife, you're looking for adaughter.
That's my viewpoint.
(11:50):
That's my viewpoint, because ifyou have someone in your house
whom you consider a dependentright, you consider this person
a dependent and not a partner.
Yo, dr Renee's cooking.
Either this person is a childof yours or a pet Right.
So I never wanted to besomeone's dependent Like that's.
(12:15):
That's not the kind ofrelationship that I want.
Now there are women who arefine being a dependent to.
You know, take care of them,give them things you know,
support their lifestyle.
There are women who are okaywith that and that's fine if
(12:37):
that works for you.
That was just something thatwas never, as the kids say on my
bingo card.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Bingo Is that what they say?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, that wasn't on my bingo card.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
You know when something strange happens or
outrageous happens, that wasn'ton my bingo card.
You know, when somethingstrange happens or outrageous
happens, that wasn't on my bingocard, I think, as I think
there's a lot of social mediareally, I think social media
really has a lot of peoplethinking that that is the norm,
that she, as a woman, that youshould expect someone to take
care of you.
They should divert asignificant amount of what they
bring in social media.
Well, that's what I see on myalgorithms.
Maybe that's not youralgorithms, but my algorithms it
(13:16):
is but I don't think it'ssocial media.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I think that is women who are?
Revealing themselves.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Let me finish my point and I think that there are
a lot of women out there whothink that men should divert a
lot of their income towardstaking care of them.
On the other hand, I think thatthere's a lot of men who
believe that the way like theydon't know how to talk to women.
I think there's a lot of menout there who don't know how to
(13:42):
talk to men or talk to women,don't know how to talk to women,
and I think that a lot of menare used to being on their cell
phones a lot and are used tocommunicating with women via DM
and showcasing certain things.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You literally don't know how to talk like.
Hello, my name is me.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yes, Like that.
I think so.
I think so.
Hi, my name is me, what's yourname?
Because if all the interactionyou do is via text or DM, where
you're not really having realconversations, I think that
there's a huge disconnect there.
The whole notion I agree withyou what you're saying the whole
notion of if you areprofessional or if you are
(14:21):
whatever you may be, and youfeel like, okay, whoever I date,
right, whoever I date, orwhoever I marry, automatically
as soon as they're going tomarry me, we may get married.
They're not working.
They're going to marry me, wemay get married.
They're not working.
They're going to do a, b, c andd.
I agree with you.
100.
Now you've already relegatedthat person to a subservient
position.
For what right I?
For me?
(14:41):
I've never understood thatstandpoint from a man's
standpoint.
I'm like, why would you want tomarry someone?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
because they want to be the boss.
If you can't be the boss atwork, gotta be the boss at home.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I think I think that's corny, I think that's so
corny, like I don't understandhow women Hit me with the
honeymooners.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Alfred Hit me with the honeymooners.
I am the king in my castle.
Alice is just a mere peasantgirl.
Oh yeah, that's telling it.
Ralph Tracy sent me up.
He believes she can have somemore thread around here oh hiya
sweetheart, hiya Ralph.
Hey, that's a mighty friendlyway to talk to a peasant.
(15:20):
I'm the king of the castle.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
I just think that that's corny in terms of like,
like you know what, I just Idon't like that at all.
I just think that's whack, Ithink it's whack.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
You just want your wife to go to work so she can
take care of you, that's all.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
That's not true at all.
That's it For me.
I don't see the point of takingcare of somebody.
I don't see the point of takingcare of somebody.
But yeah, hold on, hold on.
I do want to finish this onething real quick.
What?
But there's the link of thatdoctor of anesthesiology who
went on the what's that balloonshow, the Red Balloon?
Oh, about the balloon.
I saw that, yo, if I could findit.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I can't find it she was like yeah, I'm a doctor.
They pop, pop, pop, pop pop.
Okay, let's go ahead and bringout our next single guy.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
My name is Roman.
I just graduated from USF as adoctor for anesthesia.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yo, it was like AK-47 in there.
Yeah, and that is actually notthe.
That's actually not the doctorI was talking about by the way.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Well, I know, I know yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
But yeah, I did see that pop the balloon episode
where he talked about being aphysician.
I did see that pop the balloonepisode where he talked about
being a physician and you know awhole, either all or most of
the girls pop their balloons andI think the reasoning behind it
was it because of the time.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
No.
So women, women reject, womenreject because he wasn't.
He.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Oh, he wasn't he.
Oh, he wasn't as established inhis career.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I know you said you recently graduated school,
something along the lines ofthat, and I'm looking for
someone a little bit moreseasoned in their career, a
little bit more financiallystable and things of that nature
.
Yes, he wasn't financiallystable.
Yes yes, but there's a lot ofmessages from men who are saying
you dodged a bullet and I'mlike I don't know, man, because
a doctor going okay, I'm justgoing to put this out there, I
(17:15):
was going to say the same thing.
I'm like guys, just based offof the, I'm assuming when you go
and pop the balloon, the womenthat you have on there are the
type of women that you like,right?
(17:36):
So for anybody who is not black,black, and if you don't know,
the largest population inmedical school right now is
black women, right?
So if you are in medical school, well, not the largest
population.
The highest percentage, thehighest percentage.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Of Black people are Black women Right, but I think
yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Either way, there's a lot of Black women in school,
guys Right, and for me, ifyou're graduating, you gotta
pick up the litter If you'regraduating as an attending and
you are going to a TV show tofind love.
Not from what you, I'm like,nah, something ain't right If
something doesn't make sense.
(18:20):
I think, I think, honestly,honestly, I think that was a
social media follow attempt yeah, I see what you're saying Like
he, he's trying to build hiscareer.
He's trying to build his.
He's trying to build his career.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
He's trying to build his yeah, social media cachet
right, because now everybody'sgoing to be like who the hell is
this dude?
Why he going to pop the balloon?
And then people are going tolook him up and then follow him.
I don't really.
I would hope that he wasn'tgoing on pop the balloon.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
You don't understand what I'm saying.
Like why would you go to a gameshow?
Why would you go to a game showto look for love if you're a
doctor, particularly if you'relooking for black women like I'm
?
Like, wait what?
And some of my listeners whoare not black?
You don't understand what I'mtalking about.
There is a lot of black womenin med school, like there.
You should not have an issuewith that.
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
It's like a.
Is it three to one Higher what?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Four to one.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Five to one.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
It gotta be like ten to one.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Damn.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
But yeah.
So I went down a rabbit holeafter I saw that and was
watching a bunch of pop theballoons.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
It is a very interesting crowd yeah, well,
the show is not the same as itused to be when it was on the
internet.
Not, it is on netflix.
It's it's way different thanwhat it used to be, so yeah but
some people say it was evenbetter when it was on the
internet, on the internet, yeah,but it's um just like brooklyn
and crowd and brooklyn andgentrification.
(19:54):
You know, these things occursometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, plus, I think people also go on there again
just for social media plug, youknow what I mean, or people just
kind of.
Well, I'm just going to pop.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, there's always.
There's always a secondary gain.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Like people go on these love shows, they're not
really looking for love, they'rejust looking for even a bag or
they're looking for anotheropportunity and stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Exactly so.
I think that's a big part of it.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But it's a very HW.
I think we answered yourquestion about protecting peace
without quitting.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Don't go and pop the balloon that will bring you
peace.
Okay, now that everybody'speace is protected and nobody
has quit their jobs, we're goingto end this segment here.
We're going to be talking inthe next segment about a
physician assistant who actuallywants to start a locum tenens
company.
So check the next segment outand hear what we have to say
(20:51):
about that.
All right, guys.
If you missed this last segment, you missed a whole lot.
Dr Nii was talking about howhe's going to run 5K in under 20
minutes and bench 250 pounds,and he threw a shot at me,
basically saying I wasn't takingcare of my body.
So I think you should go backand listen to that if you
haven't.
And now we're going to betalking about All right y'all,
(00:21):
let's get into our next topic.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
We got a question from the audience.
We finally got to our question,so here is a question that who
are just burned out and bitterand it's starting to scare me.
I don't want to leave medicine,but I also don't want to end up
like that.
How do you protect your peaceand still stay in the game?
Hw those are the initials.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
HW.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
This is a very good question.
You want me to read it again toyou, or you got it.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
No, how do you protect your peace without
burning out?
I mean, listen, that's the ageold question, right?
And the fact that HW is aresident asking this question
because the attendings in theresidency program look like they
either bitter.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We've been there, we've seen it, we've seen it
About to fall out, don't I howmany attendings you saw that
were bitter?
I saw mad attendings.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
You know, divorcing can't make it to their kids
stuff.
You know, yeah, can't make itto their kids stuff.
You know, yeah, I mean the waythat we protect our pieces.
We do locums that's no.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
How do you protect your piece?
Answer for yourself.
Don't put us in there.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
We ain't sick boss, you answer it we sick and we do
locums answer for yourself, manso I mean, but that's my answer,
you know, in terms of liketerms of my career, I do locums,
I get to pick when I want towork, when I, when I'm not
(02:16):
available, um, and that allowsme to do, you know, the work
that love, but not be soinundated by it that it starts
to become the thing that I hate.
And I think you know it'simportant for people to realize
that early in their careers thatthe thing that you love very,
(02:37):
very much can encroach so muchupon your time, your bandwidth,
your mental stamina, the thingthat you're chasing the most,
the thing that you're chasingthe most.
The thing that you're chasingthe most You'll run away from
All of a sudden.
Now it's chasing you.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
You run away from it.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
It's chasing you.
So you know, for me it's locums, for other people it might be
really putting boundaries on.
If you're not going to dolocums, putting boundaries on.
Hey, are you stealing my notesyo?
Speaker 2 (03:10):
What You're just stealing my anyway, keep going.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Putting boundaries on how you work, even if you're a
W-2, right and just reallysticking to those boundaries.
Right and just really stickingto those boundaries.
But understanding that you know, if you're going to put
boundaries up, that it might bea little risky in terms of your
interactions with people, yourability to get promoted.
(03:38):
So, for example right, we allknow, if you are working full
scope OB, that you're going togenerate work.
Right, so you're going to haveoutput which in which equals
inbox.
Ok, your output equals inboxand your inbox is not going to
(04:02):
stop.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
It's just not now you talking about the following up
on results.
You're talking about notes.
You got to break it down forpeople, dr Renee.
Come on, I am.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
So you know, following up on results, you may
be somebody who says listen, Ido not under any circumstance
take work home with me, I justdon't.
So the question becomes that'sfine.
The question now becomes whatdoes that mean?
(04:36):
Does that mean you are notgoing to finish that inbox and
you'll get to it another day?
Or does that mean you stayingat work until that inbox is done
, just so that you don't have totake the work home with you?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
you gotta, you have a decision to make that's what
single people or people who areheading towards divorce do the
latter well, you, you havenobody to go home either way.
I ain't got nobody home.
I ain't got nobody to go hometo yeah, but that's still that.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That still messes with your mental bandwidth, you
know so how long you want to bein that, or do you want to bring
the word home with you?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I say this, yo Protecting your peace is not
optional at this point.
It is not optional, yo.
This is survival, compulsory,if you guys.
Compulsory survival, whicheverway you want to hear this yo,
protecting your peace is notsomething that you negotiate, it
is not something that isoptional I'll deal with it next
week.
It is something that you, inorder to survive, in order to
(05:26):
get through this, you gotta, yougotta, prioritize this.
That's it, you know.
And I think that, um, if I wereto look back and answer this
question, um, to even myself, Ithink what I would say is um
success.
I have to look at itdifferently, cause you remember,
my success for me was, oh betrauma program manager, a
(05:47):
director, I want to be achairperson, all these different
things, of things that I sawwhen I was in residency, or
maybe as a medical student, butdidn't really know the
implications of that Right, andyou know, like I think it's
really for me it's like allright, I want to be the best
clinician.
That I's like all right, I wantto be the best clinician that I
can be.
I mean, I want to be the bestclinician that I can be, but
(06:08):
also, at the same time, I needenergy.
Right, like I need to, like Ifeel very confident to say like
I need energy for my family, foryou to take you to go get shoes
for your family.
What?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
shoes.
Nii, what shoes, what shoes?
Tell me the shoes you took meto go get.
Tell me, go ahead, cap it up,go ahead.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Keep going, keep hiding Well you know it's just
time for you, time for the boys,time for the rest of our family
.
That stuff is important to me.
You know me already.
Like when we first met, thebiggest thing that I always said
you know is the most importantthing is family.
Like that is huge for me.
And to some extent also likeall those things put together,
(06:58):
then, looking ahead, is myfuture right?
Like who do I see myself in 10years?
And then, when I go back andlook at myself, do am I going to
respect myself Right?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
So that's something like to get to that point.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah, so I got to redefine success.
I think that's that's the thingthat I think for this resident
who's writing in like you got toreally think about.
What does success mean to you?
Does success mean, you know,checking all of the boxes so
that you can get the promotion,or that you can get the letters
after your name, or that you canbecome chairperson or
chairwoman, or whatever it maybe?
Is that important?
(07:32):
Or being as balanced aspossible?
You're going to have to figurethat out for yourself, but I do
want you to know.
There's a lot of people out nowwho are just like look like, I
gotta figure out how to balancethis.
I it's more than just beinglike a great clinician.
I gotta be able to handle allthese different things.
That's part of it yeah I, I I doalso agree with you about the
setting boundaries like early,like you gotta know, you gotta
(07:52):
say no yeah, you have to knowwhen to say no.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
But the defining success, I think, is majorly
important because I think thatpeople don't understand a lot of
times what success comes withRight.
Like I was talking to our niecethe other day and I was, you
know we were talking about.
Like you know how women are.
Like, oh, I want a man who's asix figure and he's this and
(08:20):
he's that and he's got to go.
High value man.
A high value man, I don't knowwhat that means.
I want a high value man.
I want this, I want that, Iwant him to be.
You know all these things.
You know and they look at youknow all the things that he's
accomplished or accumulated andfor them like that's the person
that they want to be with andthat's fine.
But also understand that inorder for him to accomplish and
(08:45):
accumulate those things, he gotto work.
Ain't nobody giving somebodywho's just sitting on their bum
all day six-figure salary.
Six-figure salary.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Did you think like that when you were younger?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
That when a high-value man Like younger that
I'm a high-value man.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Like I know you don't use high because high-value man
wasn't a thing in the 80s.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
But, like you know, like did you when I was younger.
I just honestly, just a job.
I mean, I'm young and I'm not.
You know, I wasn't like, Iwasn't at a point in my life
where I felt like, oh, I want aguy who's making six figures and
this, that I don't think I'veever said that Like, that's not
(09:25):
something that.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Do you think that social media plays a role?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
No, I don't think that that's social media.
I think that people no, I don'tthink it's social media playing
a role.
I think that social mediarevealing what a lot of people
are already thinking.
I want a high value man, I wanta man who makes this that the
other blah, blah, blah.
When I was younger, I neverreally thought about you know,
do I want a man with X, y and Z,like these things?
(09:54):
Right?
I did want somebody with a job,because I used to always say,
like well, if a man's notdedicated to himself, I can be
dedicated to you.
At the very least he should bededicated to himself.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
You who was making six figures, as opposed to the
guy who just had a job rightbecause they were taking care of
themselves.
Did you ever find yourselfattracted?
(10:25):
Mainly because that person wasmaking six figures?
You know they're giving you acertain type of lifestyle that
you became accustomed to.
This.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Accustomed to that no because, especially because I
was.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I know you're going to say it on the show anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
No, I didn't, but especially because I think I was
always very afraid.
I think I was always veryafraid that the relationship
would be imbalanced and verytransactional.
That's always to be honest.
What does that?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
mean?
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Meaning right, when you have, for example, there are
men out there who are like.
We know one doctor who's outthere right, puts out there all
the time that you know he'slooking for a wife, he's ready
to settle down, he's looking fora wife and this wife will never
have to work and he will takecare of her and he will pay all
(11:23):
the bills and he will do all the.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You think that's Catholic.
I think he's Catholic.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I don't know of that, I don't know, but there are
some men who are like that right, get your own viewpoint.
But Dr Renee's viewpoint ofthat is that you're not looking
for a wife, you're looking for adaughter.
That's my viewpoint.
(11:50):
That's my viewpoint, because ifyou have someone in your house
whom you consider a dependentright, you consider this person
a dependent and not a partner.
Yo, dr Renee's cooking.
Either this person is a childof yours or a pet Right.
So I never wanted to besomeone's dependent Like that's.
(12:15):
That's not the kind ofrelationship that I want.
Now there are women who arefine being a dependent to.
You know, take care of them,give them things you know,
support their lifestyle.
There are women who are okaywith that and that's fine if
(12:37):
that works for you.
That was just something thatwas never, as the kids say on my
bingo card.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Bingo Is that what they say?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, that wasn't on my bingo card.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
You know when something strange happens or
outrageous happens, that wasn'ton my bingo card.
You know, when somethingstrange happens or outrageous
happens, that wasn't on my bingocard, I think, as I think
there's a lot of social mediareally, I think social media
really has a lot of peoplethinking that that is the norm,
that she, as a woman, that youshould expect someone to take
care of you.
They should divert asignificant amount of what they
bring in social media.
Well, that's what I see on myalgorithms.
Maybe that's not youralgorithms, but my algorithms it
(13:16):
is but I don't think it'ssocial media.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I think that is women who are?
Revealing themselves.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Let me finish my point and I think that there are
a lot of women out there whothink that men should divert a
lot of their income towardstaking care of them.
On the other hand, I think thatthere's a lot of men who
believe that the way like theydon't know how to talk to women.
I think there's a lot of menout there who don't know how to
(13:42):
talk to men or talk to women,don't know how to talk to women,
and I think that a lot of menare used to being on their cell
phones a lot and are used tocommunicating with women via DM
and showcasing certain things.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You literally don't know how to talk like.
Hello, my name is me.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yes, Like that.
I think so.
I think so.
Hi, my name is me, what's yourname?
Because if all the interactionyou do is via text or DM, where
you're not really having realconversations, I think that
there's a huge disconnect there.
The whole notion I agree withyou what you're saying the whole
notion of if you areprofessional or if you are
(14:21):
whatever you may be, and youfeel like, okay, whoever I date,
right, whoever I date, orwhoever I marry, automatically
as soon as they're going tomarry me, we may get married.
They're not working.
They're going to marry me, wemay get married.
They're not working.
They're going to do a, b, c andd.
I agree with you.
100.
Now you've already relegatedthat person to a subservient
position.
For what right I?
For me?
(14:41):
I've never understood thatstandpoint from a man's
standpoint.
I'm like, why would you want tomarry someone?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
because they want to be the boss.
If you can't be the boss atwork, gotta be the boss at home.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I think I think that's corny, I think that's so
corny, like I don't understandhow women Hit me with the
honeymooners.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Alfred Hit me with the honeymooners.
I am the king in my castle.
Alice is just a mere peasantgirl.
Oh yeah, that's telling it.
Ralph Tracy sent me up.
He believes she can have somemore thread around here oh hiya
sweetheart, hiya Ralph.
Hey, that's a mighty friendlyway to talk to a peasant.
(15:20):
I'm the king of the castle.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
I just think that that's corny in terms of like,
like you know what, I just Idon't like that at all.
I just think that's whack, Ithink it's whack.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
You just want your wife to go to work so she can
take care of you, that's all.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
That's not true at all.
That's it For me.
I don't see the point of takingcare of somebody.
I don't see the point of takingcare of somebody.
But yeah, hold on, hold on.
I do want to finish this onething real quick.
What?
But there's the link of thatdoctor of anesthesiology who
went on the what's that balloonshow, the Red Balloon?
Oh, about the balloon.
I saw that, yo, if I could findit.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I can't find it she was like yeah, I'm a doctor.
They pop, pop, pop, pop pop.
Okay, let's go ahead and bringout our next single guy.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
My name is Roman.
I just graduated from USF as adoctor for anesthesia.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yo, it was like AK-47 in there.
Yeah, and that is actually notthe.
That's actually not the doctorI was talking about by the way.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Well, I know, I know yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
But yeah, I did see that pop the balloon episode
where he talked about being aphysician.
I did see that pop the balloonepisode where he talked about
being a physician and you know awhole, either all or most of
the girls pop their balloons andI think the reasoning behind it
was it because of the time.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
No.
So women, women reject, womenreject because he wasn't.
He.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Oh, he wasn't he.
Oh, he wasn't as established inhis career.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I know you said you recently graduated school,
something along the lines ofthat, and I'm looking for
someone a little bit moreseasoned in their career, a
little bit more financiallystable and things of that nature
.
Yes, he wasn't financiallystable.
Yes yes, but there's a lot ofmessages from men who are saying
you dodged a bullet and I'mlike I don't know, man, because
a doctor going okay, I'm justgoing to put this out there, I
(17:15):
was going to say the same thing.
I'm like guys, just based offof the, I'm assuming when you go
and pop the balloon, the womenthat you have on there are the
type of women that you like,right?
(17:36):
So for anybody who is not black,black, and if you don't know,
the largest population inmedical school right now is
black women, right?
So if you are in medical school, well, not the largest
population.
The highest percentage, thehighest percentage.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Of Black people are Black women Right, but I think
yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Either way, there's a lot of Black women in school,
guys Right, and for me, ifyou're graduating, you gotta
pick up the litter If you'regraduating as an attending and
you are going to a TV show tofind love.
Not from what you, I'm like,nah, something ain't right If
something doesn't make sense.
(18:20):
I think, I think, honestly,honestly, I think that was a
social media follow attempt yeah, I see what you're saying Like
he, he's trying to build hiscareer.
He's trying to build his.
He's trying to build his career.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
He's trying to build his yeah, social media cachet
right, because now everybody'sgoing to be like who the hell is
this dude?
Why he going to pop the balloon?
And then people are going tolook him up and then follow him.
I don't really.
I would hope that he wasn'tgoing on pop the balloon.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
You don't understand what I'm saying.
Like why would you go to a gameshow?
Why would you go to a game showto look for love if you're a
doctor, particularly if you'relooking for black women like I'm
?
Like, wait what?
And some of my listeners whoare not black?
You don't understand what I'mtalking about.
There is a lot of black womenin med school, like there.
You should not have an issuewith that.
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
It's like a.
Is it three to one Higher what?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Four to one.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Five to one.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
It gotta be like ten to one.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Damn.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
But yeah.
So I went down a rabbit holeafter I saw that and was
watching a bunch of pop theballoons.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
It is a very interesting crowd yeah, well,
the show is not the same as itused to be when it was on the
internet.
Not, it is on netflix.
It's it's way different thanwhat it used to be, so yeah but
some people say it was evenbetter when it was on the
internet, on the internet, yeah,but it's um just like brooklyn
and crowd and brooklyn andgentrification.
(19:54):
You know, these things occursometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, plus, I think people also go on there again
just for social media plug, youknow what I mean, or people just
kind of.
Well, I'm just going to pop.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, there's always.
There's always a secondary gain.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Like people go on these love shows, they're not
really looking for love, they'rejust looking for even a bag or
they're looking for anotheropportunity and stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Exactly so.
I think that's a big part of it.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But it's a very HW.
I think we answered yourquestion about protecting peace
without quitting.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Don't go and pop the balloon that will bring you
peace.
Okay, now that everybody'speace is protected and nobody
has quit their jobs, we're goingto end this segment here.
We're going to be talking inthe next segment about a
physician assistant who actuallywants to start a locum tenens
company.
So check the next segment outand hear what we have to say
(20:51):
about that.
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