August 5, 2025 • 23 mins
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The sudden passing of Malcolm-Jamal Warner was a shock to most of us who grew up watching him as Theo on The Cosby Show. At just 54 years old, his drowning in Costa Rica while swimming with family serves as a stark reminder that water safety remains crucial for everyone, regardless of swimming ability or experience. Check the links below for crisis hotlines, therapist directories, and water safety information that could make all the difference in someone's life.
FREE DOWNLOAD - 7 Considerations Before Starting Locum Tenens - https://darkos.lpages.co/7-considerations-before-locums
LINKS MENTIONED
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - https://988lifeline.org/
National Alliance on Mental Illness - https://www.nami.org/
To find a therapist - https://www.psychologytoday.com/
For online therapy - https://www.betterhelp.com/
If you’re griefing and need support - https://www.griefshare.org/
American Red Cross Water safety page - https://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/types-of-emergencies/water-safety.html?srsltid=AfmBOoqkRFh8EmoeRJy7EwclvsSPzEGe_VXYRbBgO2NEGG8vEaHnjCcu
National Weather Service Rip Current Safety page - https://www.weather.gov/mhx/ripcurrentsinfo
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So student loan forgiveness is paused.
Pause, son, pause In this billand just in general, like I
don't understand why averagepeople side with billionaires
they're okay with Wall Streetgetting a bailout, but everybody
else.
It has to be personalresponsibility, even though,
(00:20):
like the personal responsibilitypart, the person that's
actually going to affect yourcommunity way more, but they're
not okay with Wall Streetgetting a bailout.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
They're not okay with anybody getting a bailout
except for themselves.
But the reality is you've gotto realize at some point certain
decisions are going to impactyou in a certain way, and that's
all right.
It's not to say, oh, you shouldagree that doctors should get a
bailout or you should agreethat Wall Street should get a
bailout.
I don't care whether or not youagree with that.
I'm just saying understand whatthe consequences are and don't
(00:50):
complain later on because you'vebeen affected.
Be careful what you wish for,because you just might get it.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Hey guys, what's good ?
Welcome to another episode ofDocs Outside the Box.
I'm your host, dr Nii, traumasurgeon, podcaster, entrepreneur
, and in this podcast we answerall your questions about money,
medicine and what's going on inpop culture.
I got my lovely co-host, mywife, my ace, tired Tired, dr
(01:20):
Renee, how you doing Tired Nowyou're tired.
So, just so everybody knows, Ijust got back from an eight day
straight or nine day straightstint of locums, mainly because
you know I'm going to be what doyou call it?
We're going to be in Ghanadoing a medical mission trip and
yeah, so I've been frontloading the schedule.
(01:41):
So, yeah, I'm working hard.
But she's at home with the kids, which anybody who spent a lot
of time with an 8-year-old and a6-year-old that's hella work,
hella work.
And it's camp season now, soit's camp season.
You want to throw in a littlebit about what you're doing
right now with them.
Well, it's camp season and itprobably wouldn't be so bad,
(02:11):
except that the travel to one ofthe camps because they're not
in the same camp for differentreasons.
Coe, coe, share it.
No, I'm teasing.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I'm teasing, no, I'm just kidding, but the travel
back and forth is part of whatmakes me tired.
There's not a lot of time, youknow, in the window of when I go
to drop them off and then whenI have to go pick them up and
I've started, I have startedexercising again.
So I I'm still doing my walks.
(02:35):
So by the time I get homethere's like maybe an hour or so
that I can do something beforeI can start, you know, getting
ready for my walk, Then I walkand then maybe there's another
hour, but in that time I have tolike that commute.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
That commute is 45 minutes.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, yeah, that commute is 45 minutes and then I
have to go pick them up again.
So, honestly, if I'm looking atmy day, my day is actually
maybe two hours that I'm notdoing something else.
Right, that I can't you knowI'm not doing things potentially
(03:14):
for the podcast, or that I am,excuse me, doing things for the
podcast in that two hours.
How long does a mailman need orshut?
up me that I'm doing stuff forthe podcast, maybe two hours.
How long does a mailman need?
Or shut up me that I'm doingstuff for the podcast?
Maybe maybe two hours.
So my my day in terms ofproductivity to be able to do
stuff, um, without some sort ofcommute, either driving or
(03:37):
walking is like two hours.
So I have like a two hour daynow.
Yeah, it's not, that's not not,that's not enough time.
That's not enough time.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Especially with the stuff, all the stuff that we're
doing.
It's just sometimes you justneed like a couple hours by
yourself, yeah, just todecompress, when you
specifically are sending them tocamp.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Right, that's the whole point of that.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
You send them to camp so they have something to do.
They're not on video games eventhough we don't do video games
but they are doing somethingthat gives you a little bit of
some time to do something thatyou want to do.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Or that I need to do.
It's not so much things that Iwant to do, some some things
that I like I actually need todo.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
But without getting into too much semantics.
The things that you want to doneed to do things that you do.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Right Without the kids being around.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah, I need more than two hours.
Yeah, I need more than twohours, I get it.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
And people who are listening.
They know right, the parentswho are listening to this show,
single parents.
You know dual parent households, dual parent households, but
you're still a second parent.
You know what I'm talking about, hey.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You can't be a dual.
I know, I know I know, I know,but there are no, no, no, let's
get into that we should.
Let's get into it real quick.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Hold on because there was Real quick.
So you know, nelly and Ashantiare back together.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
They have a TV show together.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Oh, I didn't know that, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
And the first episode .
They're expecting a baby orthey already have a baby.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Oh, she delivered already.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah, the first episode.
He made it clear they're eatingdinner.
He makes it clear he sayslisten, ashanti, I don't do
diapers, I don't do, you know,poop anything like that.
I will hire anybody to help youwith that process.
Once the child has grown up abit, we could throw the baseball
together.
(05:22):
All of those different thingsthat I want to do to make sure
that the kid is not pooping.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I want to be there for that?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
OK, Thoughts on that.
Is she not a single mother atthat point?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
No she's not a single mother, she's absolutely not
know if we've said this on theshow before.
But this idea of a marriedsingle mother, right, because
(05:55):
you know the thought process iswell, but I do everything in the
household, I do everything forthe kids, I do all these things
right, and I'm going to tell youthere's probably only one
scenario in which the marriedsingle mother you know
phenomenon is true.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
What's that Get to that one?
Because we know what you'regoing to say with the other one.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
You don't know what we do Get to the point way to
getting a job anytime soon, hasno desire to work and he
contributes nothing in terms ofmaintenance of the household or
caring for the children.
At that point, he is purely adependent.
Right?
He's purely a dependent.
(06:48):
That is the only scenario inwhich a married single mother is
true.
That's the only scenario,anything else.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Better be careful.
You know like the gig is up onthese therapists trying to give
all this information on theInternet.
So just know.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Anything else.
This is my opinion.
Y'all can agree, y'all candisagree, don't matter to me,
it's my opinion.
Anything else is likely nottrue.
In terms of married singlemother, could you be somebody
who is taking on way more of theresponsibility of caring for
(07:26):
the home, caring for thechildren?
Absolutely.
But the reason it does not makeyou a married single mother is
because if your husband isworking and is contributing to
the financial well-being of thehousehold, then you are not a
(07:46):
married single mother.
Sorry, sorry, because for methat term really insults the
fact that single mothers are outhere taking on the financial
burden on their own to maintaintheir households.
They don't have another income.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
So for the record, you've never said in the house
that you feel like a singlemother.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
No, I've always said I don't know how single mothers
do it.
That I have said I don't knowhow single mothers do it.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I remember when my kids were Renee, renee, what you
under oath right now, yousaying that you've never said
that.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I've never said that.
Stop playing.
Why are you potting right now?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I'm not potting because I know.
I have a feeling that you'vesaid that in the past.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
No, so you have a feeling, you have.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
No, I have a feeling that you've said that in the
past.
No, so you have a feeling youhave.
No, I have not.
I've never said that.
Guys, the reason I say that isbecause this woman right next to
me, my co-host, my lovelyco-host, who I've known for well
over 20 years, don't say lovely, don't say lovely, and then
move to insult me in the nextsentence.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
This woman moves in hyperbole.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I don't move in hyperbo.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
There is no medium, there's nothing like that.
So when she gets frustratedabout a situation, everything
gets described in it's mostextreme form.
No, that is not true.
No, I'm careful with my wordstoo, so what I have said is I
don't know how single mothers doit because they have the burden
(09:15):
of doing all of the financialmaintenance of the household and
they have to take care of thechildren.
The first time I ever said thatwas when we had a snowstorm and
you were not home and I had totake the kids to daycare kids to
(09:37):
daycare and I was like, okay,well, now I got this baby and
this toddler and I have to cleanthe car off and I'm like how?
I'm like how, how does a singlemother do this, especially if
you don't have like our backyard.
Our car is right in thebackyard so I can just throw
them in the car and just do it.
But what if you live in in thecity, like I grew up in the city
?
What like you got to like gothrough the snow, get to your
(10:00):
car.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Gasoline.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
That's crazy.
I kudos Hats off.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Listen before we get into this show.
I do want to ask you.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
You want to start off on a bad and I should say
single parents, not just singlemothers, because there are
single dads out there.
We off that topic.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
So do you want to start off on a bad note, or
should we go?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
We're already starting off on a bad note
because you sitting here lyingabout me on a podcast, all right
.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So, guys, trigger warning.
I do want to talk about MalcolmJamal Warner.
Listen, this is something thatis taking a lot of people.
Um, listen, this, um, this issomething that is taking a lot
of people causing some grief,causing you know, some, you know
, just moment to pause and stuff, and, um, if you don't want to
hear about this, we're not goingto go over it for a long period
of time.
If you feel like you need tofast forward through this, I
(10:44):
definitely get this.
But, um, you know, this weekend, malcolm Jamal Warner, or,
excuse me, the weekend beforethis, malcolm Jamal warner um
actor, musician, podcaster, youknow he had his own podcast I
did know that um, probably bestknown as theo on the cosby show,
passed away at the age of 54.
(11:05):
He was swimming with his familyon the I guess on the ocean in
Costa Rica, yeah apparently thisocean or this part of the beach
, rip currents, rip tides are abig deal and something happened.
He went underwater, theybrought him back and you know,
(11:25):
unfortunately they couldn'tbring back life.
So I'm just going to say thisas someone like me and you grew
up in the 80s and the 70s, inthe 90s.
Excuse me, I was going to saythis as someone like me and you
grew up in the 80s and the sevenin the 90s Excuse me, I was
going to age you but 80s and the90s that this guy definitely
was a staple of what we saw onTV.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
For me, the best TV show when I was growing up the
Cosby Show, Absolutely.
For me the best, the best of thekids in terms of acting.
I really, really appreciatedhis range.
You know, I just, I, just I wasshocked when I saw this and
we're getting to that age nowwhere our childhood, you know,
heroes or the people who wewatched on TV are either, you
(12:05):
know, having these type ofaccidents, unfortunately, or are
dying of natural causes becausewe all getting old and stuff.
So, yeah, the one thing that Iwanted to say is, you know, I
think the reason why I liked hischaracter a lot and I have here
as a special note, um, thecharacter was actually of theo
was actually inspired by billcosby's real son, ennis, who
(12:28):
passed away.
Also, and you know I'm not goingto get into conspiracy theories
, but passed away also and youknow I'm not going to get into
conspiracy theories, but billcosby had one son.
He died, you know, tragicallyand obviously he had one tv son
dies tragically, um, but enniswas the inspiration for theo who
ennis had dyslexia.
Theo, notably, had dyslexia onthe show which he was able to
(12:51):
overcome, become a teacher, andthat's what happened at the last
you know several seasons on theshow.
So you know it's was a reportout.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
That gave a few more details.
And apparently his daughter waswith him in the water and I
guess some surfers noted thatthey were struggling.
(13:24):
They were able to get thedaughter out.
They were able to get him outas well, but I guess he had gone
under the surface long enoughsuch that they couldn't revive.
Now there were two doctors whowere on the beach.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Oh, really yeah, there were two doctors on the
beach who gave him CPR for over40 minutes.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah yeah, but unfortunately he you know he
wasn't able to be revived.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Apparently, he was a really good swimmer.
Apparently he was a really goodswimmer.
Really he was a really goodswimmer and it lets you know if
someone like him who's a reallyexperienced swimmer, you know, I
think drowning is one of thosethings that we don't talk about
too much.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Right, we see a child unfortunately drown in like a
backyard pool and stuff.
But you know, whether you'reexperienced or you're a novice,
drowning is a big deal and forsomeone like him, you know we're
talking about rip current andrip tide Like it's a big deal.
It's a big deal and it'ssomething that we need to talk
about.
I think the emergency medicinedocs, who are listening right
now, the trauma surgeons, whoare listening right now, and
even the critical care doctorsright now and this is something
(14:28):
that we see a bit often and it'ssomething that we and we for me
, my whole what we do is welearn off of people's deaths,
you know.
So for me, I just wanteverybody to realize how
important it is for water safetytraining, how important it is
for CPR training, AEDs those aresuper important.
(14:52):
And the other thing that Iwanted to talk about real quick
is he was a big proponent ofmental health.
Right, he, in his podcast, hetalked about that.
In other podcasts he talkedabout mental health and how in
his podcast he talked about that.
In other podcasts he talkedabout mental health and how it
was extremely important.
He really focused on mentalhealth for men right because
that's another silent thing thatmen struggle with yeah,
particularly men from you knowour demographic.
We don't really talk about itmuch for many reasons taboo,
(15:14):
money wise and a whole bunch ofdifferent things.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So that's good to see that more and more, more and
more men actually are talkingabout it.
Now it's not, you know, it'sit's still got its connotations,
but I think that there are moreand more men who are coming out
talking about their mentalhealth issues or just talking
about mental health in general.
Right, I mean, I know a lot oftimes people are like raise the
(15:47):
price of podcasting equipmentbecause everybody and anybody
can have a podcast where theycan say and do anything.
But one of, I think, thebenefits of having regular price
podcast equipment is that youdo have men who are of our
demographic um, who are talkingmore about mental health.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
so that that's, I think that's been a plus just
don't share your social stuff,like your dating stuff, like
what do you mean?
Oh my god, yo like the dating.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
That's where to raise the price on my dating.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
The dating advice is horrible, but let me.
I got some notes real quickhere about water safety tips
because I'm an okay swimmer.
I probably can stay afloatuntil someone picks me up.
I'm not an experienced swimmeryou couldn't save my life, I
couldn't save your life.
You're going to have to die.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Oh, my God Nate.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Wait, if I can't swim , I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Okay, but you ain't got to say that.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
All right, listen.
Swim near lifeguards wheneverpossible.
What kind of husband is this?
Avoid swimming alone.
Always have a buddy.
Don't be jumping in that poolby yourself.
Don't be jumping in that oceanby yourself.
Have someone there who canalways have a clear side of you.
Learn how to spot and escaperip currents.
This is big right.
(17:01):
If you're caught, don't fightit.
Swim parallel to the shoreuntil you're out of the current
right.
So a lot of times people say,well, what does it look like?
I have some resources in theshow notes where you can, you
know, see pictures of it.
But basically the rip currentsare the ones where you see like
the water.
(17:25):
You see like really like whitewater, like the, the foamy water
on one end, yeah, and then yousee foamy water on another end
and then in between, in betweenit's clear, yeah, and it's like
something is going on in that inbetween area guys, so you got
to be careful about about thatyeah and then the one thing I I
didn't know this.
They showed this.
I had to this up.
They showed this at the oceanor at this particular point in
time on the beach.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
So, yes, definitely pay attention to those warnings,
because a lot of times thosered flags they have to do, a lot
of times, I think, anyway, withrip ties or rip currents.
So, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Now with mental health.
I have some other notes.
Listen, I have in the shownotes.
We have the 988 number, thecrisis lifeline.
Make sure you use that if youneed it right.
This is for people who arestruggling.
If you need something to reachout, to make sure you use that
if you need it right.
This is for people who arestruggling.
If you need something to reachout, to make sure you check that
out.
We have the National Alliance onMental Illness.
We have a place where you canfind therapists.
That's Psychology.
(18:48):
Today.
There's online therapy We'veworked with BetterHelp in the
past, but that's a good startand then there's griefshareorg
and that's basically where youcan get support if you're
grieving through something.
So other things too is you canvisit the American Red Cross
safety page.
That's in our show notes, aswell as the National Weather
(19:10):
Service rip current safety page,and that'll give you all the
different pictures of the ripcurrents out there what to do,
videos of people who've gottenthrough it.
So I went and checked it outmyself.
Um, I learned a lot of things.
So you know, check that out Ithink it's great.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
You know that, um, we have our kids in swim classes,
right?
I think that that's great.
I think, if you, if you're ableto invest in teaching your
children and and or yourself howto swim, I think that's good.
I think, though, that there'ssometimes this false confidence
(19:49):
and not saying, in this case ofMalcolm Jamal Warner, because I
have no clue what his swimexperience was experience was
but I think that there'ssometimes this false confidence
that people have that, becausethey can swim in a pool, they
can swim in a lake, that theycan swim in the ocean, and the
ocean is a different it's just adifferent beast.
It's a different animal right,it's a different beast.
(20:11):
And I wonder I don't knowsomebody write in, I'll look it
up as well and and I I know thatthere are, you know, like surf
lessons and things like that,where people actually do learn
better how to handle the ocean.
But I wonder, like on um alarger scale, is there?
(20:31):
Are there classes that teachpeople how to swim in the ocean?
Oh, I'm sure there is.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Specifically I'm sure there are classes.
I'm sure there are classes.
I'm sure there are classes onthat stuff, but they're just not
advertised as much.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I don't think no, no At least not here on the East
Coast.
I don't know about the WestCoast, but not here on the East
Coast.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I'll say this for and to just end with Malcolm Jamal
Warner, I would just definitelysay guys, learn something from
this.
And I would say if someone youknow is struggling with mental
health, or let's say, forexample, you just want to learn
about, you know some classeslike what you're saying you know
, start there, go to the shownotes, check that out.
He left us, excuse me, with alot of memories.
(21:11):
You know my favorite episode,Denise, so your favorite episode
is Gordon.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Gartrell.
Okay, gordon Gartrell, come,gordon Gartrell, come on, hit us
with it a little bit.
Alfred, give us a little Denise.
Denise, it's over, isn't it?
What is?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
this, my favorite episode is.
So I'm stuck between the.
I'm stuck between the baconburger dog.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Oh, bacon burger dog, bacon burger dog.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, I'm stuck between the bacon burger dog or
the one where he kissed theother girl and he had to beg
Justine to come back.
Oh, justine, justine, yeah,those are my two favorite
episodes.
I'm not sure which one is moreimportant.
Just a lot of memories, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Dance mania.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
That's a good one.
He touched a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
So, guys, let's learn something from him.
Make sure you check out theshow notes Get.
Make sure you check out theshow notes get some help.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
If you feel like this resonated with you or you think
it may resonate with someoneelse, share this portion of the
episode with someone else.
All right, guys Next up.
We're going to be talking abouthow student loan forgiveness is
paused and how the bigbeautiful bill was actually
signed into law.
So stay tuned for the nextsegment.
So student loan forgiveness is paused.
Pause, son, pause In this billand just in general, like I
don't understand why averagepeople side with billionaires
they're okay with Wall Streetgetting a bailout, but everybody
else.
It has to be personalresponsibility, even though,
(00:20):
like the personal responsibilitypart, the person that's
actually going to affect yourcommunity way more, but they're
not okay with Wall Streetgetting a bailout.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
They're not okay with anybody getting a bailout
except for themselves.
But the reality is you've gotto realize at some point certain
decisions are going to impactyou in a certain way, and that's
all right.
It's not to say, oh, you shouldagree that doctors should get a
bailout or you should agreethat Wall Street should get a
bailout.
I don't care whether or not youagree with that.
I'm just saying understand whatthe consequences are and don't
(00:50):
complain later on because you'vebeen affected.
Be careful what you wish for,because you just might get it.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Hey guys, what's good ?
Welcome to another episode ofDocs Outside the Box.
I'm your host, dr Nii, traumasurgeon, podcaster, entrepreneur
, and in this podcast we answerall your questions about money,
medicine and what's going on inpop culture.
I got my lovely co-host, mywife, my ace, tired Tired, dr
(01:20):
Renee, how you doing Tired Nowyou're tired.
So, just so everybody knows, Ijust got back from an eight day
straight or nine day straightstint of locums, mainly because
you know I'm going to be what doyou call it?
We're going to be in Ghanadoing a medical mission trip and
yeah, so I've been frontloading the schedule.
(01:41):
So, yeah, I'm working hard.
But she's at home with the kids, which anybody who spent a lot
of time with an 8-year-old and a6-year-old that's hella work,
hella work.
And it's camp season now, soit's camp season.
You want to throw in a littlebit about what you're doing
right now with them.
Well, it's camp season and itprobably wouldn't be so bad,
(02:11):
except that the travel to one ofthe camps because they're not
in the same camp for differentreasons.
Coe, coe, share it.
No, I'm teasing.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I'm teasing, no, I'm just kidding, but the travel
back and forth is part of whatmakes me tired.
There's not a lot of time, youknow, in the window of when I go
to drop them off and then whenI have to go pick them up and
I've started, I have startedexercising again.
So I I'm still doing my walks.
(02:35):
So by the time I get homethere's like maybe an hour or so
that I can do something beforeI can start, you know, getting
ready for my walk, Then I walkand then maybe there's another
hour, but in that time I have tolike that commute.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
That commute is 45 minutes.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, yeah, that commute is 45 minutes and then I
have to go pick them up again.
So, honestly, if I'm looking atmy day, my day is actually
maybe two hours that I'm notdoing something else.
Right, that I can't you knowI'm not doing things potentially
(03:14):
for the podcast, or that I am,excuse me, doing things for the
podcast in that two hours.
How long does a mailman need orshut?
up me that I'm doing stuff forthe podcast, maybe two hours.
How long does a mailman need?
Or shut up me that I'm doingstuff for the podcast?
Maybe maybe two hours.
So my my day in terms ofproductivity to be able to do
stuff, um, without some sort ofcommute, either driving or
(03:37):
walking is like two hours.
So I have like a two hour daynow.
Yeah, it's not, that's not not,that's not enough time.
That's not enough time.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Especially with the stuff, all the stuff that we're
doing.
It's just sometimes you justneed like a couple hours by
yourself, yeah, just todecompress, when you
specifically are sending them tocamp.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Right, that's the whole point of that.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
You send them to camp so they have something to do.
They're not on video games eventhough we don't do video games
but they are doing somethingthat gives you a little bit of
some time to do something thatyou want to do.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Or that I need to do.
It's not so much things that Iwant to do, some some things
that I like I actually need todo.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
But without getting into too much semantics.
The things that you want to doneed to do things that you do.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Right Without the kids being around.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah, I need more than two hours.
Yeah, I need more than twohours, I get it.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
And people who are listening.
They know right, the parentswho are listening to this show,
single parents.
You know dual parent households, dual parent households, but
you're still a second parent.
You know what I'm talking about, hey.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You can't be a dual.
I know, I know I know, I know,but there are no, no, no, let's
get into that we should.
Let's get into it real quick.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Hold on because there was Real quick.
So you know, nelly and Ashantiare back together.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
They have a TV show together.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Oh, I didn't know that, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
And the first episode .
They're expecting a baby orthey already have a baby.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Oh, she delivered already.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah, the first episode.
He made it clear they're eatingdinner.
He makes it clear he sayslisten, ashanti, I don't do
diapers, I don't do, you know,poop anything like that.
I will hire anybody to help youwith that process.
Once the child has grown up abit, we could throw the baseball
together.
(05:22):
All of those different thingsthat I want to do to make sure
that the kid is not pooping.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I want to be there for that?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
OK, Thoughts on that.
Is she not a single mother atthat point?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
No she's not a single mother, she's absolutely not
know if we've said this on theshow before.
But this idea of a marriedsingle mother, right, because
(05:55):
you know the thought process iswell, but I do everything in the
household, I do everything forthe kids, I do all these things
right, and I'm going to tell youthere's probably only one
scenario in which the marriedsingle mother you know
phenomenon is true.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
What's that Get to that one?
Because we know what you'regoing to say with the other one.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
You don't know what we do Get to the point way to
getting a job anytime soon, hasno desire to work and he
contributes nothing in terms ofmaintenance of the household or
caring for the children.
At that point, he is purely adependent.
Right?
He's purely a dependent.
(06:48):
That is the only scenario inwhich a married single mother is
true.
That's the only scenario,anything else.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Better be careful.
You know like the gig is up onthese therapists trying to give
all this information on theInternet.
So just know.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Anything else.
This is my opinion.
Y'all can agree, y'all candisagree, don't matter to me,
it's my opinion.
Anything else is likely nottrue.
In terms of married singlemother, could you be somebody
who is taking on way more of theresponsibility of caring for
(07:26):
the home, caring for thechildren?
Absolutely.
But the reason it does not makeyou a married single mother is
because if your husband isworking and is contributing to
the financial well-being of thehousehold, then you are not a
(07:46):
married single mother.
Sorry, sorry, because for methat term really insults the
fact that single mothers are outhere taking on the financial
burden on their own to maintaintheir households.
They don't have another income.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
So for the record, you've never said in the house
that you feel like a singlemother.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
No, I've always said I don't know how single mothers
do it.
That I have said I don't knowhow single mothers do it.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I remember when my kids were Renee, renee, what you
under oath right now, yousaying that you've never said
that.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I've never said that.
Stop playing.
Why are you potting right now?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I'm not potting because I know.
I have a feeling that you'vesaid that in the past.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
No, so you have a feeling, you have.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
No, I have a feeling that you've said that in the
past.
No, so you have a feeling youhave.
No, I have not.
I've never said that.
Guys, the reason I say that isbecause this woman right next to
me, my co-host, my lovelyco-host, who I've known for well
over 20 years, don't say lovely, don't say lovely, and then
move to insult me in the nextsentence.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
This woman moves in hyperbole.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I don't move in hyperbo.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
There is no medium, there's nothing like that.
So when she gets frustratedabout a situation, everything
gets described in it's mostextreme form.
No, that is not true.
No, I'm careful with my wordstoo, so what I have said is I
don't know how single mothers doit because they have the burden
(09:15):
of doing all of the financialmaintenance of the household and
they have to take care of thechildren.
The first time I ever said thatwas when we had a snowstorm and
you were not home and I had totake the kids to daycare kids to
(09:37):
daycare and I was like, okay,well, now I got this baby and
this toddler and I have to cleanthe car off and I'm like how?
I'm like how, how does a singlemother do this, especially if
you don't have like our backyard.
Our car is right in thebackyard so I can just throw
them in the car and just do it.
But what if you live in in thecity, like I grew up in the city
?
What like you got to like gothrough the snow, get to your
(10:00):
car.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Gasoline.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
That's crazy.
I kudos Hats off.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Listen before we get into this show.
I do want to ask you.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
You want to start off on a bad and I should say
single parents, not just singlemothers, because there are
single dads out there.
We off that topic.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
So do you want to start off on a bad note, or
should we go?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
We're already starting off on a bad note
because you sitting here lyingabout me on a podcast, all right
.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So, guys, trigger warning.
I do want to talk about MalcolmJamal Warner.
Listen, this is something thatis taking a lot of people.
Um, listen, this, um, this issomething that is taking a lot
of people causing some grief,causing you know, some, you know
, just moment to pause and stuff, and, um, if you don't want to
hear about this, we're not goingto go over it for a long period
of time.
If you feel like you need tofast forward through this, I
(10:44):
definitely get this.
But, um, you know, this weekend, malcolm Jamal Warner, or,
excuse me, the weekend beforethis, malcolm Jamal warner um
actor, musician, podcaster, youknow he had his own podcast I
did know that um, probably bestknown as theo on the cosby show,
passed away at the age of 54.
(11:05):
He was swimming with his familyon the I guess on the ocean in
Costa Rica, yeah apparently thisocean or this part of the beach
, rip currents, rip tides are abig deal and something happened.
He went underwater, theybrought him back and you know,
(11:25):
unfortunately they couldn'tbring back life.
So I'm just going to say thisas someone like me and you grew
up in the 80s and the 70s, inthe 90s.
Excuse me, I was going to saythis as someone like me and you
grew up in the 80s and the sevenin the 90s Excuse me, I was
going to age you but 80s and the90s that this guy definitely
was a staple of what we saw onTV.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
For me, the best TV show when I was growing up the
Cosby Show, Absolutely.
For me the best, the best of thekids in terms of acting.
I really, really appreciatedhis range.
You know, I just, I, just I wasshocked when I saw this and
we're getting to that age nowwhere our childhood, you know,
heroes or the people who wewatched on TV are either, you
(12:05):
know, having these type ofaccidents, unfortunately, or are
dying of natural causes becausewe all getting old and stuff.
So, yeah, the one thing that Iwanted to say is, you know, I
think the reason why I liked hischaracter a lot and I have here
as a special note, um, thecharacter was actually of theo
was actually inspired by billcosby's real son, ennis, who
(12:28):
passed away.
Also, and you know I'm not goingto get into conspiracy theories
, but passed away also and youknow I'm not going to get into
conspiracy theories, but billcosby had one son.
He died, you know, tragicallyand obviously he had one tv son
dies tragically, um, but enniswas the inspiration for theo who
ennis had dyslexia.
Theo, notably, had dyslexia onthe show which he was able to
(12:51):
overcome, become a teacher, andthat's what happened at the last
you know several seasons on theshow.
So you know it's was a reportout.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
That gave a few more details.
And apparently his daughter waswith him in the water and I
guess some surfers noted thatthey were struggling.
(13:24):
They were able to get thedaughter out.
They were able to get him outas well, but I guess he had gone
under the surface long enoughsuch that they couldn't revive.
Now there were two doctors whowere on the beach.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Oh, really yeah, there were two doctors on the
beach who gave him CPR for over40 minutes.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah yeah, but unfortunately he you know he
wasn't able to be revived.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Apparently, he was a really good swimmer.
Apparently he was a really goodswimmer.
Really he was a really goodswimmer and it lets you know if
someone like him who's a reallyexperienced swimmer, you know, I
think drowning is one of thosethings that we don't talk about
too much.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Right, we see a child unfortunately drown in like a
backyard pool and stuff.
But you know, whether you'reexperienced or you're a novice,
drowning is a big deal and forsomeone like him, you know we're
talking about rip current andrip tide Like it's a big deal.
It's a big deal and it'ssomething that we need to talk
about.
I think the emergency medicinedocs, who are listening right
now, the trauma surgeons, whoare listening right now, and
even the critical care doctorsright now and this is something
(14:28):
that we see a bit often and it'ssomething that we and we for me
, my whole what we do is welearn off of people's deaths,
you know.
So for me, I just wanteverybody to realize how
important it is for water safetytraining, how important it is
for CPR training, AEDs those aresuper important.
(14:52):
And the other thing that Iwanted to talk about real quick
is he was a big proponent ofmental health.
Right, he, in his podcast, hetalked about that.
In other podcasts he talkedabout mental health and how in
his podcast he talked about that.
In other podcasts he talkedabout mental health and how it
was extremely important.
He really focused on mentalhealth for men right because
that's another silent thing thatmen struggle with yeah,
particularly men from you knowour demographic.
We don't really talk about itmuch for many reasons taboo,
(15:14):
money wise and a whole bunch ofdifferent things.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So that's good to see that more and more, more and
more men actually are talkingabout it.
Now it's not, you know, it'sit's still got its connotations,
but I think that there are moreand more men who are coming out
talking about their mentalhealth issues or just talking
about mental health in general.
Right, I mean, I know a lot oftimes people are like raise the
(15:47):
price of podcasting equipmentbecause everybody and anybody
can have a podcast where theycan say and do anything.
But one of, I think, thebenefits of having regular price
podcast equipment is that youdo have men who are of our
demographic um, who are talkingmore about mental health.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
so that that's, I think that's been a plus just
don't share your social stuff,like your dating stuff, like
what do you mean?
Oh my god, yo like the dating.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
That's where to raise the price on my dating.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
The dating advice is horrible, but let me.
I got some notes real quickhere about water safety tips
because I'm an okay swimmer.
I probably can stay afloatuntil someone picks me up.
I'm not an experienced swimmeryou couldn't save my life, I
couldn't save your life.
You're going to have to die.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Oh, my God Nate.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Wait, if I can't swim , I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Okay, but you ain't got to say that.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
All right, listen.
Swim near lifeguards wheneverpossible.
What kind of husband is this?
Avoid swimming alone.
Always have a buddy.
Don't be jumping in that poolby yourself.
Don't be jumping in that oceanby yourself.
Have someone there who canalways have a clear side of you.
Learn how to spot and escaperip currents.
This is big right.
(17:01):
If you're caught, don't fightit.
Swim parallel to the shoreuntil you're out of the current
right.
So a lot of times people say,well, what does it look like?
I have some resources in theshow notes where you can, you
know, see pictures of it.
But basically the rip currentsare the ones where you see like
the water.
(17:25):
You see like really like whitewater, like the, the foamy water
on one end, yeah, and then yousee foamy water on another end
and then in between, in betweenit's clear, yeah, and it's like
something is going on in that inbetween area guys, so you got
to be careful about about thatyeah and then the one thing I I
didn't know this.
They showed this.
I had to this up.
They showed this at the oceanor at this particular point in
time on the beach.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
So, yes, definitely pay attention to those warnings,
because a lot of times thosered flags they have to do, a lot
of times, I think, anyway, withrip ties or rip currents.
So, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Now with mental health.
I have some other notes.
Listen, I have in the shownotes.
We have the 988 number, thecrisis lifeline.
Make sure you use that if youneed it right.
This is for people who arestruggling.
If you need something to reachout, to make sure you use that
if you need it right.
This is for people who arestruggling.
If you need something to reachout, to make sure you check that
out.
We have the National Alliance onMental Illness.
We have a place where you canfind therapists.
That's Psychology.
(18:48):
Today.
There's online therapy We'veworked with BetterHelp in the
past, but that's a good startand then there's griefshareorg
and that's basically where youcan get support if you're
grieving through something.
So other things too is you canvisit the American Red Cross
safety page.
That's in our show notes, aswell as the National Weather
(19:10):
Service rip current safety page,and that'll give you all the
different pictures of the ripcurrents out there what to do,
videos of people who've gottenthrough it.
So I went and checked it outmyself.
Um, I learned a lot of things.
So you know, check that out Ithink it's great.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
You know that, um, we have our kids in swim classes,
right?
I think that that's great.
I think, if you, if you're ableto invest in teaching your
children and and or yourself howto swim, I think that's good.
I think, though, that there'ssometimes this false confidence
(19:49):
and not saying, in this case ofMalcolm Jamal Warner, because I
have no clue what his swimexperience was experience was
but I think that there'ssometimes this false confidence
that people have that, becausethey can swim in a pool, they
can swim in a lake, that theycan swim in the ocean, and the
ocean is a different it's just adifferent beast.
It's a different animal right,it's a different beast.
(20:11):
And I wonder I don't knowsomebody write in, I'll look it
up as well and and I I know thatthere are, you know, like surf
lessons and things like that,where people actually do learn
better how to handle the ocean.
But I wonder, like on um alarger scale, is there?
(20:31):
Are there classes that teachpeople how to swim in the ocean?
Oh, I'm sure there is.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Specifically I'm sure there are classes.
I'm sure there are classes.
I'm sure there are classes onthat stuff, but they're just not
advertised as much.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I don't think no, no At least not here on the East
Coast.
I don't know about the WestCoast, but not here on the East
Coast.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I'll say this for and to just end with Malcolm Jamal
Warner, I would just definitelysay guys, learn something from
this.
And I would say if someone youknow is struggling with mental
health, or let's say, forexample, you just want to learn
about, you know some classeslike what you're saying you know
, start there, go to the shownotes, check that out.
He left us, excuse me, with alot of memories.
(21:11):
You know my favorite episode,Denise, so your favorite episode
is Gordon.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Gartrell.
Okay, gordon Gartrell, come,gordon Gartrell, come on, hit us
with it a little bit.
Alfred, give us a little Denise.
Denise, it's over, isn't it?
What is?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
this, my favorite episode is.
So I'm stuck between the.
I'm stuck between the baconburger dog.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Oh, bacon burger dog, bacon burger dog.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, I'm stuck between the bacon burger dog or
the one where he kissed theother girl and he had to beg
Justine to come back.
Oh, justine, justine, yeah,those are my two favorite
episodes.
I'm not sure which one is moreimportant.
Just a lot of memories, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Dance mania.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
That's a good one.
He touched a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
So, guys, let's learn something from him.
Make sure you check out theshow notes Get.
Make sure you check out theshow notes get some help.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
If you feel like this resonated with you or you think
it may resonate with someoneelse, share this portion of the
episode with someone else.
All right, guys Next up.
We're going to be talking abouthow student loan forgiveness is
paused and how the bigbeautiful bill was actually
signed into law.
So stay tuned for the nextsegment.
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