April 22, 2025 • 31 mins
DODOBORNE @ GEN CON INDY 2025
Your GM, your best friend, and your storyteller Isaac Allen Burns will be running some Daggerheart tables at Gen Con Indy 2025 and everyone is welcome to come by and play! The four available games are each a standalone adventure. The other Dodos will be there so we all hope to see you there!
__________________________________
Dear diary,
Pistachio here! (in case you forgot) with another entry about what i did today!! :•)
Kapi let me and Crank work together which I think was much needed after the last time we were on a mission together..... :•| Needless to say this went so much better this time. No more squashes hahaha :•D .... :'•(
We touched base with Evelyn and Tobias about the idea of them being our eyes and ears on the town. They were scratching their whiskers at first, but with a little extra cheddar (;•D) they came to an a"brie"ment (;•DD) that was "Gouda" (;•DDD) for everyone involved.
We dropped in on C- Mom who changed her name again. I feel like she expects everyone to know her only as "librarian" so she uses that to mess with people. This time it was Rosette, last time it was Roseanne? What's it gonna be tomorrow? :•O I can wait to find out! :•D
We found out a LOT MORE about peoples types than I was expecting. :•S I wonder if C-Mom would be interested in Cyrus since she likes beards so much? :•/
Anyway!!!!! :•$
Can't wait to write you tomorrow!! :•D
Love, Pistachio
DodoBorne is a comedy storytelling actual play podcast where four friends dive into the world of Daggerheart, a brand-new tabletop roleplaying game by Darrington Press.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Isaac Allen Burns (00:32):
Hey, everybody. It's me, your GM,
Isaac Allen Burns. And rightnow, I am also your editor here
to tell you that I have someexciting news for you today. You
see, last week's episode was sogood, and their session was just
packed full of so much stuffthat I had to make some hard
decisions of what to keep in.But I thought that as a treat to
(00:54):
you, there were still somethings that I thought would be
great for us to hear.
And so I've decided to edit intothe burning midnight oil or
wait. Burn the midnight oil andedit just a little extra more
just for all y'all to enjoyPistachio's time and the
(01:14):
festival so that you can enjoyPistachio's day before the
festival as well. Cue thatmusic.
Rowan Collins (02:28):
Featuring me, Pistachio. Squawk.
Isaac Allen Burns (02:34):
Allow me to set the stage for you a little
bit. There was a bit of timebefore Crank actually ran off on
his own to go test out his brandnew powers. And in that time,
there were deliberations of whatPistachio and them could all be
doing, how best to split theirtime. Let's clue in now to the
rest of that conversation.
Joe Diametti (02:58):
I say we get some of our vets involved. I'm
talking hitchins. I'm talkingthe librarian. I'm talking not
Cyrus. Never mind.
Rowan Collins (03:09):
Why not Cyrus?
Joe Diametti (03:09):
He's busy with the window change or something.
Okay.
Rowan Collins (03:14):
Well, my dad is a vet.
Joe Diametti (03:15):
Yes. Your dad. We get everybody we know and post
them up at strategic areas inthe town.
Rowan Collins (03:22):
Okay. Alright. What about finding Ash?
Joe Diametti (03:29):
Well, that's why we're posting up in different
areas, to keep an eye out foranybody that seems suspicious
like Ash.
Rowan Collins (03:35):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (03:35):
He's definitely gonna show up.
Rowan Collins (03:36):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (03:37):
Other people I'm betting are gonna show up.
Rowan Collins (03:39):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (03:39):
Sebastian.
Isaac Allen Burns (03:40):
Uh-huh.
Annie Hawthorne (03:42):
Oh, yeah, Sebastian.
Joe Diametti (03:43):
That squirrelly fuck.
Rowan Collins (03:44):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (03:46):
So we need to keep an eye out and we need to make
sure that we have coverage.
Rowan Collins (03:49):
Okay. Alright. Well, if let's see. If you
wouldn't handle the peacekeepersor I guess we could do them
together, but we could alsodivide and conquer. I'll go talk
to the vets.
Joe Diametti (04:03):
Yeah. That's probably a good idea.
Annie Hawthorne (04:05):
What should I do?
Joe Diametti (04:07):
Well, you have the staff.
Annie Hawthorne (04:08):
Should I just protect the staff?
Rowan Collins (04:11):
Yeah. Well, if you want, I'm sure my sister
could use help on the farm ifyou don't mind.
Annie Hawthorne (04:18):
Okay.
Rowan Collins (04:19):
That way you're here. The staff is with
Isaac Allen Burns (04:21):
Why don't
Joe Diametti (04:23):
crank. Why don't you, if it's okay, this is guys,
we are a team. I'm the boss andthe ultimate decision maker, but
I'm taking suggestions.
Rowan Collins (04:35):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (04:35):
If you want, why don't you go to the bakery, get
some pastries and start makingyour delivery rounds?
Rowan Collins (04:42):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (04:44):
Make sure post doesn't get involved and start
scoping out the areas that wecan plant everybody. Start
looking for pockets weakness.You were in the military. That's
true.
Rowan Collins (04:55):
That is a good thing. My only concern about
that is that Craig has the staffon his back.
Joe Diametti (05:02):
Craig's holding the staff.
Rowan Collins (05:04):
Right. And Oh, it's wrapped up.
Annie Hawthorne (05:06):
No one knows what it is.
Joe Diametti (05:09):
They just think the robot is Weebly.
Rowan Collins (05:13):
So what is the work I'll I'll I'll follow it to
you here. Okay. I'll follow it.But what happens, right, if the
mayor who a % knew that therewas a dying invasion
Joe Diametti (05:26):
didn't know that. There's no way.
Rowan Collins (05:28):
There's no way
Joe Diametti (05:29):
there I've talked to the mayor. Trust me. I've
talked to him extensively. Hetold me, I think, every secret
he's ever had.
Rowan Collins (05:35):
Oh, wow.
Joe Diametti (05:36):
Okay. Oh, okay. He was kept in the dark on us.
Rowan Collins (05:38):
Oh, okay.
Joe Diametti (05:39):
The mayor is not to blame here, and the mayor is
going to give us ourrecommendations, Pistachio. So
we need him.
Rowan Collins (05:46):
I just bet what if somebody sees Crank who knows
about the staff and figures outit was missing?
Joe Diametti (05:53):
You can't hide Crank.
Rowan Collins (05:55):
We could stay at the farm? Nobody coming to the
paid up farm on the AppleFestival day.
Joe Diametti (06:03):
I think Crank can handle. Crank has killed a lot
more things than we have.
Rowan Collins (06:08):
True. Crank also tried to punch Rich.
Annie Hawthorne (06:12):
Oh, he deserved it.
Rowan Collins (06:13):
It might be Yes.
Joe Diametti (06:13):
Yeah. Don't just I know. But don't
Annie Hawthorne (06:16):
If anybody knew about this, I bet it was him.
Rowan Collins (06:19):
Yeah. My more concern is that more people will
get punched and get exploded.
Joe Diametti (06:26):
Well, let's go let Crank decide.
Isaac Allen Burns (06:28):
Yeah. Well, why don't I come with one of
you?
Joe Diametti (06:31):
Perfect. I'll take Crank.
Rowan Collins (06:33):
Uh-oh. Kapi, can I talk to you really quickly?
One second. Okay. Pistachiopulls Kapi aside and goes, Kapi,
I'm going to be really honestwith you.
I don't think I could be alonetoday.
Joe Diametti (06:52):
Okay. Alright, Crank. You're going with
Pistachio.
Rowan Collins (06:59):
Yay. Okay. Best friends. Best friends day. Okay.
Nice.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:08):
You split up. We'll start with the people who
are closest, which is Pistachioand Crank who take two steps to
the left and you're on the farm.You see that you see that your
sister, Hazel, is sort of upcloser to the house. You see
that your father is there. He'sgot a sling on his arm.
(07:28):
And they're sort of talking,kind of pointing at the farm
and, like, making hand gesturesby talking.
Rowan Collins (07:34):
We kind of approach, but, like, not
intentionally stealthily, butnot, like, making it the scene
because I'm kinda wannaeavesdrop just a little bit.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:44):
Yeah. You yeah. You sneak up. It's not
hard to eavesdrop. They're kindof in an argument.
Rowan Collins (07:49):
Oh. You
Isaac Allen Burns (07:51):
hear as you approach, you kinda hear as you
come into you hear, like, theyelling as you get closer. It's
kinda unintelligible from thedistance, but as you get closer,
you hear Hazel basically yell.So we're just gonna give up
then. You're we're just gonnagive up all our hard works for
nothing. Hazel is veryfrustrated and kind of, like,
(08:12):
stomps her foot and startswalking towards the front door
to leave.
Rowan Collins (08:17):
Oh, sorry, Hazel. Hey, dad. Hey.
Isaac Allen Burns (08:22):
Hey, Pistachio. Hey there. Hey, kid.
What oh, where you been? Whereyou I don't remember you coming
home.
I was sleeping on the couch lastnight. I didn't see you come
home.
Rowan Collins (08:34):
Oh, sorry.
Isaac Allen Burns (08:35):
With your friends early in the morning,
and then you never came back.
Rowan Collins (08:37):
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Official of the Trian guild
business.
Isaac Allen Burns (08:41):
Oh, I'm sure.
Rowan Collins (08:42):
I'm sure. They kept me out late, but don't
worry, dad. I didn't do anythingtoo weird. Oh,
Isaac Allen Burns (08:47):
I know. Anyway Well, Stavagio, that's
the laugh you do whenever you'relying. Are you lying to me right
now?
Rowan Collins (08:53):
No. Nothing weird at all. Just the usual can turn
into a no no. Anyway, hi, dad.
Isaac Allen Burns (08:59):
What was that last part? You turn into
Rowan Collins (09:01):
a what? So Hazel seems bad. What's going on with
her?
Isaac Allen Burns (09:06):
Oh, yeah. Hazel's just a little upset
because, you know, the AppleFestival's tomorrow, and we're
supposed to have the fieldwrapped up, everything wrapped
up in time for it, but we justyou know, we're we don't have
enough manpower to get all of itput together. You know, there's
gonna probably be someleftovers. I don't you know,
your brother is still recouprecuperating and my arm is still
(09:29):
not good. So Hazel just can't doit on her own.
But this is about as hard as shetries. We're not gonna be able
to get the whole field in timefor the festival, which sort of
bums her out because, know
Rowan Collins (09:40):
Should we not pull in any favors from anybody
else?
Isaac Allen Burns (09:44):
Well, yeah, most of the other farmers are
sort of in the same boat we are.They're getting ready for the
festival too. They're doingtheir last harvests because, you
know, at the Apple Festival, weget a lot of business. It's sort
of our it's the equivalent ofour own, you know, big business
day. But so we're gonna be saleswill be a little depressed.
We won't be able to, you know,sell as much, but, hey, it
(10:06):
happens. You know? This ain'tthe first year that the family
took some took some losses. Itcertainly won't be the listen.
Put a hand on your shoulder,pistachio.
A classic old person talking toa young person thing, I guess,
and says, listen. You don't needto worry about it. It's okay.
Let's you know, Hazel's justupset because she's been working
(10:26):
real hard. You know, she's beendead in the farm probably harder
than any of us after yourbrother got hit in the face and
I shattered my arm in clearlyfive, fifteen different places.
Rowan Collins (10:38):
Then It was only two, dad.
Isaac Allen Burns (10:40):
You know, jury's still out, but, you know,
it hurts bad enough. So,anyways, you know, it's just
tough. She's taking it hard, butdon't you but don't you worry
about it. Okay? Don't you?
You keep doing your adventure,good old stuff. You're not gonna
have to worry about this farmsoon. Soon you'll be a real good
doctor.
Rowan Collins (10:54):
Yeah. That's right. Hey. Hey, dad. Speaking
of which, you're a vet.
Right? You used to you fought inthe war way back when?
Isaac Allen Burns (11:03):
I sure did. You know, the civil war was my
last tour. I, you know, I didn'tsee fry I didn't see hard
combat. I was sort of in the inthe rearguard, but, you
Rowan Collins (11:12):
know, you're not how to, like, scout out an area
and stuff, right, for, like, Ido for extra protection?
Isaac Allen Burns (11:20):
You know, I was I was infantry, so I kinda I
would do whatever the what thecorporal said told me to do, and
I'd do it well. And that waskinda my whole thing. But, you
know, I I could I have someexperience. Why are you asking
this strange question for stat?This is oddly so.
You know, I don't typically talkabout
Rowan Collins (11:37):
my I you don't really like to talk about it.
But so oh, okay, dad. Don't tellHazel because I know she's
already in a mood, and shealready is is very upset about
it. But Kapi got us an exclusivething with the with the mayor
where we're supposed to bedefense, extra extra security
(11:58):
for the festival. And so Kapithought it might be really cool
if we got some people like somevets like yourself to take a
look at some key points and thetown just to make sure that
everything is kind of runningsmoothly.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:12):
Oh, why? Well, that's great. Oh, this is
interesting. That's never beendone before. Is okay.
Okay.
Rowan Collins (12:19):
Yeah. Like, you know,
Isaac Allen Burns (12:21):
I thought Kathy was sort of a deadbeat who
didn't really try hard. Oh,that's curious. He's doing
security here.
Rowan Collins (12:27):
Oh, he's not anything like that. Dad. What?
He's my boss. You can't talkabout that like that.
Kapi's really cool. Kapi'sreally cool, dad. You go dad,
look at me. That's my boss.Don't don't talk like that about
Kapi.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:43):
Oh, alright. Hey. You know, you I guess you
know him better than I do.Alright.
Rowan Collins (12:48):
That's right. I know him way better, and he has
a lot of good ideas, dad.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:51):
Oh, goodness. Okay. Oh, gosh.
Rowan Collins (12:55):
Is that right, Craig?
Annie Hawthorne (12:56):
Yes. Yeah. He's very smart.
Rowan Collins (12:58):
Yes. Anyway, so crank. Right?
Annie Hawthorne (13:02):
Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:02):
Can I talk to you for a second? Hey,
Pistachio. Just wait right herefor a second. You see that their
father pulls you aside and says,hey, crank. Hey.
Can you be honest with me? Dad.Yeah. That's funny.
Annie Hawthorne (13:13):
Yeah. I'm I'm a very honest individual.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:17):
Has this has this Kapi made any moves on my
child? Would you know? He hasn'tdone anything on tour towards my
kid. Right?
Rowan Collins (13:27):
No. Alright.
Annie Hawthorne (13:30):
Are you sure? Not.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:31):
I was just oddly defensive. I was just very
smart.
Annie Hawthorne (13:34):
Like Scarlet.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:36):
Oh, that's oh, still? Yeah. And Oh, boy.
Oh, okay. Well okay.
I think that makes me feelbetter. Okay. No more. Okay.
Well, Frank, you just listen.
Do an old man a favor.
Annie Hawthorne (13:51):
Of course.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:51):
You ever see him do anything untowards
towards my child? K? You knowwhat I mean? Do you know what
I'm talking about when I saythat? Can you
Annie Hawthorne (14:00):
can you be more specific?
Isaac Allen Burns (14:01):
Like, if Kapi, you know, lingers a little
too long or he's, you know,touching Pistachio on the sole
shoulder or elsewhere.
Joe Diametti (14:08):
Can we just change the word child to, like, full
grown person? Like, if anyonetouches, like or if he touches
my full grown makes a movetowards my full grown person.
Alright.
Annie Hawthorne (14:17):
Just to
Rowan Collins (14:18):
be clear just to be clear, everybody. Alright.
Everybody, pause for the for thelisteners. Pistachio is a full
grown fawn. They're like theequivalent of, like, low
twenties as a human.
Isaac Allen Burns (14:28):
So Pistachio's father looks at you
and says, just make sure theKapi doesn't mess with my baby.
Okay? My baby child who to me isalways gonna be a child baby, a
baby child.
Annie Hawthorne (14:39):
You know, I think that Pistachio is old
enough to make their owndecisions, but I also don't
think that Kapi is their type orthat Pistachio is Kapi's type,
to be frank.
Isaac Allen Burns (14:55):
Is Kapi your type?
Annie Hawthorne (14:57):
Because I I don't I don't have a type. I
don't experience romantic orsexual attraction.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:01):
Oh. Okay. Okay. I don't know if I feel
better or worse about this, butI'm just gonna you know what?
Thanks.
Just, you know, you tell me ifanything happened.
Annie Hawthorne (15:11):
Right? Of course.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:12):
K. It's just a power dynamic. Anyways okay.
They turned back and he says,yeah. So we I've talked to
somebodies of mine.
Yeah. Because I know a couple ofthe vets in town who fought.
Rowan Collins (15:28):
Yeah. I was about to go actually talk to a few of
them too. I know of well, like,the the the other the turd of
guy, he's one.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:39):
Yeah. Hitchens. Hitchens.
Rowan Collins (15:41):
Yeah. Hitchens is one.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:42):
Yeah. You go do that. There's a problem.
There's approximately actually,Joe, I want you right now to
roll me a d 12.
Joe Diametti (15:49):
Yep. Five.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:52):
Yeah. It's well, okay. There's like five
other people I know in town whoare vets who haven't been named
in the story yet. So I'll gotalk to them. I think we can
bolster up the town a littlebit.
What a good what a good plan.You know?
Rowan Collins (16:03):
Yeah. Yeah. It is a good plan. We're gonna make
sure that this Apple's Festivalruns smoothly like peanut
butter.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:11):
Why? Yeah. I yeah. I get
Annie Hawthorne (16:13):
You know, sometimes peanut butter is not
smooth. Just saying.
Rowan Collins (16:16):
Yeah. We, yeah, we we sell that kind too. But,
like, mostly, it's smooth.
Joe Diametti (16:22):
What kind?
Rowan Collins (16:24):
Crunchy.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:25):
Crunchy sells really good, actually. You'd be
surprised. And people prefer it.Some people say it's the only
way to have it. But, anywaysyeah.
You do that. I'll I'll make thathappen. And, you know, we'll
see.
Rowan Collins (16:38):
Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:38):
You know, the Apple Festival, it really
doesn't hasn't gone smooth inthe last two hundred and thirty
eight years it's happened. So
Rowan Collins (16:44):
Well, I have a very strong bad feeling.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:47):
Oh, alright. Well, I trust you, Pistachio,
because you're my child. You'remy still my baby, and I'll
always love you.
Rowan Collins (16:55):
Literally, like, 30 years old.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:59):
Oh, I still remember when you were just a
little child just rollingaround. You know your first
words were data? Yeah. That'sright. Your first words were
data.
That was me. I so proud. Toldeveryone down.
Annie Hawthorne (17:13):
Go to the library now.
Rowan Collins (17:15):
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry, dad. Official
adventurer's business. I gottago.
Bye.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:22):
Alright. Bye. They
Rowan Collins (17:23):
will, like, kiss their dad out there. Little
chick could go, bye, dad. Bye.Don't be so hard on his. Okay.
Bye.
Annie Hawthorne (17:30):
What was that? Pistachios, dad.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:33):
You two leave and head towards the library.
Annie Hawthorne (17:37):
Your dad's got real weird energy.
Rowan Collins (17:39):
Yeah. I mean, that's just kind of my family. I
think they we attract eachother. Like, you met my mom.
She's also kind of a lot.
Annie Hawthorne (17:50):
Yeah.
Rowan Collins (17:50):
What did he say to you?
Annie Hawthorne (17:53):
He just went on and on about Kapi making a move
on you. And I was like, whywould Kapi ever I don't I don't
think that.
Rowan Collins (18:01):
He is I I feel like my dad thinks that
everybody is going to fall inlove with me just because I'm my
mother's child. And I it justit's not the way that life
works, dad. Plus, I'm not intoKapi. Kapi is, like, very much
(18:26):
not my type.
Annie Hawthorne (18:27):
I shouldn't think so.
Rowan Collins (18:28):
And also, I'm not Kapi's type.
Annie Hawthorne (18:30):
That's what I said.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:31):
You know?
Rowan Collins (18:31):
Kapi is my dad's type and my mom's type. And
probably Wally's type if Wallywas a little drunk. Not Hazel's,
though.
Annie Hawthorne (18:45):
He does seem to be a lot of people's type. Maybe
your dad is projecting.
Rowan Collins (18:49):
I think so. I think my dad is projecting a
little bit. Is he so let's see.I think what is happening is he
thinks Kapi is really, reallycute, And he's trying to beg
him, you know. He's trying to belike, oh, this guy's not good.
Right? Like, oh, he's ascoundrel. Oh. But he's really
into scoundrels.
Annie Hawthorne (19:08):
Oh, I see.
Rowan Collins (19:10):
I totally would % believe that.
Annie Hawthorne (19:14):
I just found it odd that I don't even know your
dad's name, and he cornered me.
Rowan Collins (19:18):
Well, his name is Cashew.
Annie Hawthorne (19:21):
Cashew. I've just been calling him
Pistachio's dad.
Rowan Collins (19:24):
Yeah. Papa Cashew. He trusts people a lot,
Greg. He's also really dramatic.If you haven't noticed, his arm
isn't that bad.
He could totally help Hazel ifhe tried.
Annie Hawthorne (19:42):
Yeah. I feel so bad for her. Yeah. I feel bad
for her too. She seems
Rowan Collins (19:48):
upset. Maybe if
Isaac Allen Burns (19:49):
You see a little voice comes out of the
library, which you're now infront of, and she says, oh, do
we feel really bad about? Oh,hi, mom. Hey. Hey, Priscilla.
Annie Hawthorne (19:58):
About Hazel. Do you know Hazel Drew?
Isaac Allen Burns (20:00):
Yes. Cashew's daughter. Yeah. I know Hazel.
Annie Hawthorne (20:03):
Pistachio's mom's daughter. Pistachio's
dad's daughter.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:07):
Both of their daughters, in fact. Yes. Or at
least that's what we're led tobelieve.
Rowan Collins (20:12):
I mean, she doesn't look like anybody else
in town. So
Isaac Allen Burns (20:15):
That's very true. You troops have one
specific physical thing thatsets you apart from all the
other fawns in town.
Rowan Collins (20:22):
That's true. Our animal magnetism.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:25):
That's right. All you troops, you just love
animals. They are drawn to you.
Rowan Collins (20:32):
That's true. That is not what I meant. But, yes,
Isaac Allen Burns (20:34):
that probably why that Ashenboro came up and
splooged all over your brother.
Rowan Collins (20:38):
They they do what now?
Isaac Allen Burns (20:40):
Yeah. He went up and just vomited on him.
Rounds all over his face.
Rowan Collins (20:45):
Right. Yeah. Vomited. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:48):
On him.
Rowan Collins (20:49):
Yep. Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:50):
That's what Kashy told us at the, you know,
poker night last night.
Annie Hawthorne (20:54):
Oh, oh. Yeah. I think I think your dad might
need a thesaurus. I can get himone.
Rowan Collins (20:58):
Yeah. I think he needs a thesaurus, and Kapi
needs dictionary. Hey. Goodthing we're at the library. Oh,
yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:04):
I got a thesaurus.
Rowan Collins (21:05):
Oh, fantastic.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:06):
We also have a dictionary, but it is quite
old. You won't find some moremodern words like novocite or Or
Rowan Collins (21:15):
splooge in there?
Isaac Allen Burns (21:16):
Splooge is unfortunately not in there.
Rowan Collins (21:19):
Oh, okay. How about nuttin'?
Isaac Allen Burns (21:21):
Well, you know, nuttin' is the verb that
does describe farming for nuts.
Rowan Collins (21:27):
It is true, but does it have the most recent
one?
Joe Diametti (21:31):
Craig ever read the book that he gave you?
Annie Hawthorne (21:37):
I don't think I have. No.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:38):
Oh, it's still in the chest.
Annie Hawthorne (21:39):
About that.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:40):
You're so enticed by the magic of the
staff.
Rowan Collins (21:44):
So, Craigsbob, were you That's me. What is
Isaac Allen Burns (21:49):
here thinking about busting nuts. Speaking.
Don't mind me.
Rowan Collins (21:55):
Speaking of people who I don't know their
name are, is there a better nameto call you besides Craigsbob?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:01):
Yeah. My name's Rosette.
Rowan Collins (22:03):
Oh, okay. Alright.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:04):
Nice to meet you.
Rowan Collins (22:05):
Nice to meet you, Rosette. You are a vet. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:11):
No. I'm a librarian, actually. Well I
don't I don't use No.
Rowan Collins (22:15):
I meant like a veteran.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:16):
Oh, yes. Yes. I was.
Rowan Collins (22:19):
Yeah. You've fought in the war.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:21):
I sure have. Not in the last civil war, but
in the war before that one.
Rowan Collins (22:25):
So cool. What did you do?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:27):
Well, I did a lot of things in the war. Let me
tell you, Pastel. How old areyou again?
Rowan Collins (22:32):
I'm, like, way I'm old. I'm an adult. I'm an
adult. Just let's link whatappointment would I have an
adult?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:37):
Out of the army. I tell you, the general,
he was a looker.
Rowan Collins (22:40):
Oh, what did the what did the general look like?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:43):
Oh, let me tell you. I had these broad
shoulders. Oh, he had a goodbeard too.
Rowan Collins (22:47):
Oh, wow.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:48):
He kept it well groomed. That wasn't the
only thing he kept well groomed.Let me tell you.
Rowan Collins (22:52):
Okay. I think this is petering off to a
different direction than Iwanted. Petering. Petering.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:59):
Why did he ask about my time at
Rowan Collins (23:01):
the moment?
Isaac Allen Burns (23:02):
What was artillery? I got to stay back
there and kill people from afar.I didn't have to see their dead
broken bodies. It was great.
Rowan Collins (23:08):
Pistachio just, like, takes a second and looks
off into the middle distance,shakes themselves, and goes, oh,
but so so we're the AdventuringGuild.
Isaac Allen Burns (23:17):
That's what a lot of my friends look like
whenever they would talk aboutthe war.
Rowan Collins (23:20):
We we are with the Adventuring Guild, and we
have been asked by the mayor todo a very special security
detail. And our boss, Kapi, cameup with this fantastic idea that
we ask our vets to, like, kindascout out, like, some places and
kinda stand guard in certainareas that, you know, might be
(23:42):
targeted. You know? Right? Thisis this is a big deal because,
like, you know, people arecoming to town, so we're just
trying to make it as safe aspossible.
So would you be interested in,like, helping us out?
Isaac Allen Burns (23:53):
Oh, I see sort of like sentries. You're
putting down defensivepositions. You know, as I was
artillery, I'm not so good at,you know, I'm not so good at
finding where they'll be, but Iam good at cutting them off at
the pass.
Rowan Collins (24:06):
Oh, fantastic. So would you like to put a be a,
like, a setup somewhere? Maybe,like, a way into town or
something?
Isaac Allen Burns (24:19):
Well, you know, you said your boss's name
was Kapi. Right?
Rowan Collins (24:23):
Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (24:24):
Well, let me tell you something, Pistachio. A
little word of elderly advice.You know, you probably wanna
call a meeting of some kind. Youknow, it's kind of late notice.
The festival is tomorrow.
Rowan Collins (24:34):
Oh. Right.
Isaac Allen Burns (24:35):
But still have you know, call everybody
together, figure out a time, andcome up with a game plan, of
course, plan of action, plan a,plan b.
Rowan Collins (24:44):
Okay. Well, is there a place that you guys
typically meet?
Joe Diametti (24:47):
Mom card. Call the mom card.
Rowan Collins (24:54):
An internal voice speaks to girl. I can't
Isaac Allen Burns (24:57):
say, pull the mom card.
Rowan Collins (24:58):
You'd be like, mom, please. Mom?
Annie Hawthorne (25:01):
Is it there a meeting room in the library?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:05):
Well, it's so funny you mentioned that there
is. I was just thinking I needto clear that out, actually. I
got a couple of old books backthere that I had to move out. I
think it gives me a reason tofinally do it. I can clear that
out.
We can have a meeting here.
Rowan Collins (25:18):
Oh, cool. Would you be willing to help us spread
the word to all the other vets?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:24):
Sure. I mean, there's, you know, there's a
couple of us still around town.There's about five others who I
don't play poker with and thusaren't named, so I can talk to
them a little bit.
Rowan Collins (25:33):
I think
Isaac Allen Burns (25:34):
Let them know.
Rowan Collins (25:34):
My dad is also doing that. And I guess, could
you call your poker group up?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:40):
Oh, yeah. You know, your father's in the poker
group, also Farmer Hitchens.
Rowan Collins (25:43):
Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns (25:44):
He's a hoot and a half. I tell you. Yes. If
you weren't so short, he'd be alooker.
Rowan Collins (25:49):
Yeah. He I guess he does have a nice beard, so
it's that seems to be whatyou're into.
Isaac Allen Burns (25:54):
Oh, well, you know, not on a dwarf.
Rowan Collins (25:56):
Oh. That's interesting. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:00):
We can't trust dwarves, really.
Rowan Collins (26:01):
I feel like this is Peter to get to a direction I
am not comfortable with. Well,okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:06):
Thank you. Peter got me thinking about the
general again.
Rowan Collins (26:09):
Oh, okay. Well, thank you, Rosette. We'll put it
here. We'll do it around, Iguess, right before sunset.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:18):
Oh, sure. I'm sure Cyrus already knows too. So
I don't know. I don't have toworry about telling him, I'm
sure.
Annie Hawthorne (26:23):
No. Not at No. Tell Cyrus. He'll he'll be fine.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:27):
Yeah. Of course. I'll clear out the
meeting room so that you can useit for later today or tonight or
whenever. I'll be here.
Rowan Collins (26:34):
Okay. Thanks, mom.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:35):
If you find any
Annie Hawthorne (26:36):
more magic books, let me know.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:37):
Sure thing. Gotta clean off the old rifle
while I wait.
Rowan Collins (26:41):
Is that another euphemism?
Isaac Allen Burns (26:43):
What? Mhmm. Oh. No. I have an old rifle.
Rowan Collins (26:47):
Oh, okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:49):
She reaches under the desk and pulls out
like an old timey rifle, likelike one of those, like, bolt
action rifles. And she says, Ihaven't used this baby in years.
I used to think people would tryand rob my library, and now I
let them. Because all they'redoing is robbing knowledge.
Annie Hawthorne (27:04):
Wow. Knowledge is for everybody. That's what
you always
Isaac Allen Burns (27:08):
what I always say. Knowledge for everybody no
matter how you get your hands onit.
Rowan Collins (27:15):
Thanks, Rosette. We'll see you later.
Isaac Allen Burns (27:17):
Course. See you soon. Bye, dearie. Hope you
have a good day.
Annie Hawthorne (27:22):
Thank you.
Isaac Allen Burns (27:23):
Stay safe out there.
Rowan Collins (27:24):
We will. I look at Crank once we're, like,
without outside of hearingdistance and go, Crank. I feel
like it do you think we shouldtell Cyrus? I know Kapi said not
Annie Hawthorne (27:37):
to Specifically said not to tell Kapi.
Rowan Collins (27:40):
All of the veterans are friends with with
Cyrus.
Annie Hawthorne (27:44):
Well, I feel like if they tell him, it's
fine. But if we tell him, thenwe broke a promise to Kapi.
Rowan Collins (27:50):
Did we break or did we promise Kapi, or did you
promise Kapi?
Annie Hawthorne (27:54):
I don't know if either one of us really
explicitly promised Kapi, but Ifeel like I, in my soul,
promised Kapi.
Rowan Collins (28:06):
I feel like Cyrus is gonna find out if Cyrus is,
like, Kapi's boss and thenBatman
Annie Hawthorne (28:12):
thinks that Cyrus would get mad at us.
Rowan Collins (28:15):
I feel like he's two bosses up from us.
Annie Hawthorne (28:18):
Does that make him our boss?
Rowan Collins (28:20):
I think that makes him our boss, and we maybe
should tell him about thebeating. But we can do that
after we get back from ourhitches.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:33):
You head off and tell the remaining people in
town. And so I ask, is there anylast things you wanna do before
you all retire? We start thenext day during the festival. So
what kind of preparations arey'all gonna try and put
together?
Rowan Collins (28:51):
So I think Pistachio will because they have
befriended the rats from thatone time when they cleaned up
the dumpsters Uh-huh. They'regonna go and talk to the rats
again and ask them to be, like,a scout line of, like, keep an
eye out for anything weird. AndPistachio will offer to give
them some nuts in in as payment.I would also like to see just as
(29:19):
Pistachio do does Pistachiothink that they could convince
the rats to help their sistergarden? They feel such guilt of
not being able like, theirentire family is down and
there's nothing else
Joe Diametti (29:33):
Okay.
Rowan Collins (29:33):
That they can help. I play devil's advocate.
Yeah. Unless Kapi tells themotherwise.
Joe Diametti (29:39):
No. No. No. I what I what if you went so I took the
peacekeepers
Isaac Allen Burns (29:45):
Mhmm.
Joe Diametti (29:46):
And you took the vets. I feel like we're still
missing a key group
Isaac Allen Burns (29:49):
Mhmm.
Joe Diametti (29:49):
Which is the young the all the other younger
people, your your siblings.
Rowan Collins (29:56):
Oh, yeah. I like this idea. Like, Pistachio,
maybe we'll see if they canconvince Hazel to take them to
talk to the young people
Joe Diametti (30:04):
Yeah.
Rowan Collins (30:04):
And, like, get them on board. That's smart. K.
I like that idea.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:10):
So very good. So instead of talking to the
rats at all or
Joe Diametti (30:14):
Oh, I thought this is two things.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:15):
Thought the
Joe Diametti (30:15):
rats were I thought rats are acting as your
eyes and ears.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:18):
Rats are eyes and ears.
Rowan Collins (30:19):
You can either Rats and eyes and ears.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:20):
You can either
Rowan Collins (30:20):
And then talk to Hazel about helping.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:22):
Talk to the Hazel. Okay.
Rowan Collins (30:23):
About, like, with the young people. Yes. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:26):
Yeah. Yeah. You can go talk to Hazel. She is
very down in the dumps, sosomething that could distract
her is really great.
Rowan Collins (30:34):
Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:34):
So even though she's still kinda cold
towards you and it's still alittle awkward, she eventually
relents and will go talk to someof the young people, some of the
young workers around town, theyoung professionals, if you
will, around town.
Rowan Collins (30:47):
I like that idea.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:49):
Collaborative storytelling. Collaborative
storytelling. And next we meetwill be the Apple Festival. Tune
in for the final moments of thevery first arc. What a wonderful
little tale that was.
Thank you for listening to thisbonus mini episode of DodoBorne
(31:10):
. When next we meet, it will bethe Apple Festival, and who
knows what will happen or whowe'll see there. Tune in next
week to find out. Hey. It's apodcast.
Hey, everybody. It's me, your GM,
Isaac Allen Burns. And rightnow, I am also your editor here
to tell you that I have someexciting news for you today. You
see, last week's episode was sogood, and their session was just
packed full of so much stuffthat I had to make some hard
decisions of what to keep in.But I thought that as a treat to
(00:54):
you, there were still somethings that I thought would be
great for us to hear.
And so I've decided to edit intothe burning midnight oil or
wait. Burn the midnight oil andedit just a little extra more
just for all y'all to enjoyPistachio's time and the
(01:14):
festival so that you can enjoyPistachio's day before the
festival as well. Cue thatmusic.
Rowan Collins (02:28):
Featuring me, Pistachio. Squawk.
Isaac Allen Burns (02:34):
Allow me to set the stage for you a little
bit. There was a bit of timebefore Crank actually ran off on
his own to go test out his brandnew powers. And in that time,
there were deliberations of whatPistachio and them could all be
doing, how best to split theirtime. Let's clue in now to the
rest of that conversation.
Joe Diametti (02:58):
I say we get some of our vets involved. I'm
talking hitchins. I'm talkingthe librarian. I'm talking not
Cyrus. Never mind.
Rowan Collins (03:09):
Why not Cyrus?
Joe Diametti (03:09):
He's busy with the window change or something.
Okay.
Rowan Collins (03:14):
Well, my dad is a vet.
Joe Diametti (03:15):
Yes. Your dad. We get everybody we know and post
them up at strategic areas inthe town.
Rowan Collins (03:22):
Okay. Alright. What about finding Ash?
Joe Diametti (03:29):
Well, that's why we're posting up in different
areas, to keep an eye out foranybody that seems suspicious
like Ash.
Rowan Collins (03:35):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (03:35):
He's definitely gonna show up.
Rowan Collins (03:36):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (03:37):
Other people I'm betting are gonna show up.
Rowan Collins (03:39):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (03:39):
Sebastian.
Isaac Allen Burns (03:40):
Uh-huh.
Annie Hawthorne (03:42):
Oh, yeah, Sebastian.
Joe Diametti (03:43):
That squirrelly fuck.
Rowan Collins (03:44):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (03:46):
So we need to keep an eye out and we need to make
sure that we have coverage.
Rowan Collins (03:49):
Okay. Alright. Well, if let's see. If you
wouldn't handle the peacekeepersor I guess we could do them
together, but we could alsodivide and conquer. I'll go talk
to the vets.
Joe Diametti (04:03):
Yeah. That's probably a good idea.
Annie Hawthorne (04:05):
What should I do?
Joe Diametti (04:07):
Well, you have the staff.
Annie Hawthorne (04:08):
Should I just protect the staff?
Rowan Collins (04:11):
Yeah. Well, if you want, I'm sure my sister
could use help on the farm ifyou don't mind.
Annie Hawthorne (04:18):
Okay.
Rowan Collins (04:19):
That way you're here. The staff is with
Isaac Allen Burns (04:21):
Why don't
Joe Diametti (04:23):
crank. Why don't you, if it's okay, this is guys,
we are a team. I'm the boss andthe ultimate decision maker, but
I'm taking suggestions.
Rowan Collins (04:35):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (04:35):
If you want, why don't you go to the bakery, get
some pastries and start makingyour delivery rounds?
Rowan Collins (04:42):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (04:44):
Make sure post doesn't get involved and start
scoping out the areas that wecan plant everybody. Start
looking for pockets weakness.You were in the military. That's
true.
Rowan Collins (04:55):
That is a good thing. My only concern about
that is that Craig has the staffon his back.
Joe Diametti (05:02):
Craig's holding the staff.
Rowan Collins (05:04):
Right. And Oh, it's wrapped up.
Annie Hawthorne (05:06):
No one knows what it is.
Joe Diametti (05:09):
They just think the robot is Weebly.
Rowan Collins (05:13):
So what is the work I'll I'll I'll follow it to
you here. Okay. I'll follow it.But what happens, right, if the
mayor who a % knew that therewas a dying invasion
Joe Diametti (05:26):
didn't know that. There's no way.
Rowan Collins (05:28):
There's no way
Joe Diametti (05:29):
there I've talked to the mayor. Trust me. I've
talked to him extensively. Hetold me, I think, every secret
he's ever had.
Rowan Collins (05:35):
Oh, wow.
Joe Diametti (05:36):
Okay. Oh, okay. He was kept in the dark on us.
Rowan Collins (05:38):
Oh, okay.
Joe Diametti (05:39):
The mayor is not to blame here, and the mayor is
going to give us ourrecommendations, Pistachio. So
we need him.
Rowan Collins (05:46):
I just bet what if somebody sees Crank who knows
about the staff and figures outit was missing?
Joe Diametti (05:53):
You can't hide Crank.
Rowan Collins (05:55):
We could stay at the farm? Nobody coming to the
paid up farm on the AppleFestival day.
Joe Diametti (06:03):
I think Crank can handle. Crank has killed a lot
more things than we have.
Rowan Collins (06:08):
True. Crank also tried to punch Rich.
Annie Hawthorne (06:12):
Oh, he deserved it.
Rowan Collins (06:13):
It might be Yes.
Joe Diametti (06:13):
Yeah. Don't just I know. But don't
Annie Hawthorne (06:16):
If anybody knew about this, I bet it was him.
Rowan Collins (06:19):
Yeah. My more concern is that more people will
get punched and get exploded.
Joe Diametti (06:26):
Well, let's go let Crank decide.
Isaac Allen Burns (06:28):
Yeah. Well, why don't I come with one of
you?
Joe Diametti (06:31):
Perfect. I'll take Crank.
Rowan Collins (06:33):
Uh-oh. Kapi, can I talk to you really quickly?
One second. Okay. Pistachiopulls Kapi aside and goes, Kapi,
I'm going to be really honestwith you.
I don't think I could be alonetoday.
Joe Diametti (06:52):
Okay. Alright, Crank. You're going with
Pistachio.
Rowan Collins (06:59):
Yay. Okay. Best friends. Best friends day. Okay.
Nice.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:08):
You split up. We'll start with the people who
are closest, which is Pistachioand Crank who take two steps to
the left and you're on the farm.You see that you see that your
sister, Hazel, is sort of upcloser to the house. You see
that your father is there. He'sgot a sling on his arm.
(07:28):
And they're sort of talking,kind of pointing at the farm
and, like, making hand gesturesby talking.
Rowan Collins (07:34):
We kind of approach, but, like, not
intentionally stealthily, butnot, like, making it the scene
because I'm kinda wannaeavesdrop just a little bit.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:44):
Yeah. You yeah. You sneak up. It's not
hard to eavesdrop. They're kindof in an argument.
Rowan Collins (07:49):
Oh. You
Isaac Allen Burns (07:51):
hear as you approach, you kinda hear as you
come into you hear, like, theyelling as you get closer. It's
kinda unintelligible from thedistance, but as you get closer,
you hear Hazel basically yell.So we're just gonna give up
then. You're we're just gonnagive up all our hard works for
nothing. Hazel is veryfrustrated and kind of, like,
(08:12):
stomps her foot and startswalking towards the front door
to leave.
Rowan Collins (08:17):
Oh, sorry, Hazel. Hey, dad. Hey.
Isaac Allen Burns (08:22):
Hey, Pistachio. Hey there. Hey, kid.
What oh, where you been? Whereyou I don't remember you coming
home.
I was sleeping on the couch lastnight. I didn't see you come
home.
Rowan Collins (08:34):
Oh, sorry.
Isaac Allen Burns (08:35):
With your friends early in the morning,
and then you never came back.
Rowan Collins (08:37):
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Official of the Trian guild
business.
Isaac Allen Burns (08:41):
Oh, I'm sure.
Rowan Collins (08:42):
I'm sure. They kept me out late, but don't
worry, dad. I didn't do anythingtoo weird. Oh,
Isaac Allen Burns (08:47):
I know. Anyway Well, Stavagio, that's
the laugh you do whenever you'relying. Are you lying to me right
now?
Rowan Collins (08:53):
No. Nothing weird at all. Just the usual can turn
into a no no. Anyway, hi, dad.
Isaac Allen Burns (08:59):
What was that last part? You turn into
Rowan Collins (09:01):
a what? So Hazel seems bad. What's going on with
her?
Isaac Allen Burns (09:06):
Oh, yeah. Hazel's just a little upset
because, you know, the AppleFestival's tomorrow, and we're
supposed to have the fieldwrapped up, everything wrapped
up in time for it, but we justyou know, we're we don't have
enough manpower to get all of itput together. You know, there's
gonna probably be someleftovers. I don't you know,
your brother is still recouprecuperating and my arm is still
(09:29):
not good. So Hazel just can't doit on her own.
But this is about as hard as shetries. We're not gonna be able
to get the whole field in timefor the festival, which sort of
bums her out because, know
Rowan Collins (09:40):
Should we not pull in any favors from anybody
else?
Isaac Allen Burns (09:44):
Well, yeah, most of the other farmers are
sort of in the same boat we are.They're getting ready for the
festival too. They're doingtheir last harvests because, you
know, at the Apple Festival, weget a lot of business. It's sort
of our it's the equivalent ofour own, you know, big business
day. But so we're gonna be saleswill be a little depressed.
We won't be able to, you know,sell as much, but, hey, it
(10:06):
happens. You know? This ain'tthe first year that the family
took some took some losses. Itcertainly won't be the listen.
Put a hand on your shoulder,pistachio.
A classic old person talking toa young person thing, I guess,
and says, listen. You don't needto worry about it. It's okay.
Let's you know, Hazel's justupset because she's been working
(10:26):
real hard. You know, she's beendead in the farm probably harder
than any of us after yourbrother got hit in the face and
I shattered my arm in clearlyfive, fifteen different places.
Rowan Collins (10:38):
Then It was only two, dad.
Isaac Allen Burns (10:40):
You know, jury's still out, but, you know,
it hurts bad enough. So,anyways, you know, it's just
tough. She's taking it hard, butdon't you but don't you worry
about it. Okay? Don't you?
You keep doing your adventure,good old stuff. You're not gonna
have to worry about this farmsoon. Soon you'll be a real good
doctor.
Rowan Collins (10:54):
Yeah. That's right. Hey. Hey, dad. Speaking
of which, you're a vet.
Right? You used to you fought inthe war way back when?
Isaac Allen Burns (11:03):
I sure did. You know, the civil war was my
last tour. I, you know, I didn'tsee fry I didn't see hard
combat. I was sort of in the inthe rearguard, but, you
Rowan Collins (11:12):
know, you're not how to, like, scout out an area
and stuff, right, for, like, Ido for extra protection?
Isaac Allen Burns (11:20):
You know, I was I was infantry, so I kinda I
would do whatever the what thecorporal said told me to do, and
I'd do it well. And that waskinda my whole thing. But, you
know, I I could I have someexperience. Why are you asking
this strange question for stat?This is oddly so.
You know, I don't typically talkabout
Rowan Collins (11:37):
my I you don't really like to talk about it.
But so oh, okay, dad. Don't tellHazel because I know she's
already in a mood, and shealready is is very upset about
it. But Kapi got us an exclusivething with the with the mayor
where we're supposed to bedefense, extra extra security
(11:58):
for the festival. And so Kapithought it might be really cool
if we got some people like somevets like yourself to take a
look at some key points and thetown just to make sure that
everything is kind of runningsmoothly.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:12):
Oh, why? Well, that's great. Oh, this is
interesting. That's never beendone before. Is okay.
Okay.
Rowan Collins (12:19):
Yeah. Like, you know,
Isaac Allen Burns (12:21):
I thought Kathy was sort of a deadbeat who
didn't really try hard. Oh,that's curious. He's doing
security here.
Rowan Collins (12:27):
Oh, he's not anything like that. Dad. What?
He's my boss. You can't talkabout that like that.
Kapi's really cool. Kapi'sreally cool, dad. You go dad,
look at me. That's my boss.Don't don't talk like that about
Kapi.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:43):
Oh, alright. Hey. You know, you I guess you
know him better than I do.Alright.
Rowan Collins (12:48):
That's right. I know him way better, and he has
a lot of good ideas, dad.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:51):
Oh, goodness. Okay. Oh, gosh.
Rowan Collins (12:55):
Is that right, Craig?
Annie Hawthorne (12:56):
Yes. Yeah. He's very smart.
Rowan Collins (12:58):
Yes. Anyway, so crank. Right?
Annie Hawthorne (13:02):
Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:02):
Can I talk to you for a second? Hey,
Pistachio. Just wait right herefor a second. You see that their
father pulls you aside and says,hey, crank. Hey.
Can you be honest with me? Dad.Yeah. That's funny.
Annie Hawthorne (13:13):
Yeah. I'm I'm a very honest individual.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:17):
Has this has this Kapi made any moves on my
child? Would you know? He hasn'tdone anything on tour towards my
kid. Right?
Rowan Collins (13:27):
No. Alright.
Annie Hawthorne (13:30):
Are you sure? Not.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:31):
I was just oddly defensive. I was just very
smart.
Annie Hawthorne (13:34):
Like Scarlet.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:36):
Oh, that's oh, still? Yeah. And Oh, boy.
Oh, okay. Well okay.
I think that makes me feelbetter. Okay. No more. Okay.
Well, Frank, you just listen.
Do an old man a favor.
Annie Hawthorne (13:51):
Of course.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:51):
You ever see him do anything untowards
towards my child? K? You knowwhat I mean? Do you know what
I'm talking about when I saythat? Can you
Annie Hawthorne (14:00):
can you be more specific?
Isaac Allen Burns (14:01):
Like, if Kapi, you know, lingers a little
too long or he's, you know,touching Pistachio on the sole
shoulder or elsewhere.
Joe Diametti (14:08):
Can we just change the word child to, like, full
grown person? Like, if anyonetouches, like or if he touches
my full grown makes a movetowards my full grown person.
Alright.
Annie Hawthorne (14:17):
Just to
Rowan Collins (14:18):
be clear just to be clear, everybody. Alright.
Everybody, pause for the for thelisteners. Pistachio is a full
grown fawn. They're like theequivalent of, like, low
twenties as a human.
Isaac Allen Burns (14:28):
So Pistachio's father looks at you
and says, just make sure theKapi doesn't mess with my baby.
Okay? My baby child who to me isalways gonna be a child baby, a
baby child.
Annie Hawthorne (14:39):
You know, I think that Pistachio is old
enough to make their owndecisions, but I also don't
think that Kapi is their type orthat Pistachio is Kapi's type,
to be frank.
Isaac Allen Burns (14:55):
Is Kapi your type?
Annie Hawthorne (14:57):
Because I I don't I don't have a type. I
don't experience romantic orsexual attraction.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:01):
Oh. Okay. Okay. I don't know if I feel
better or worse about this, butI'm just gonna you know what?
Thanks.
Just, you know, you tell me ifanything happened.
Annie Hawthorne (15:11):
Right? Of course.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:12):
K. It's just a power dynamic. Anyways okay.
They turned back and he says,yeah. So we I've talked to
somebodies of mine.
Yeah. Because I know a couple ofthe vets in town who fought.
Rowan Collins (15:28):
Yeah. I was about to go actually talk to a few of
them too. I know of well, like,the the the other the turd of
guy, he's one.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:39):
Yeah. Hitchens. Hitchens.
Rowan Collins (15:41):
Yeah. Hitchens is one.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:42):
Yeah. You go do that. There's a problem.
There's approximately actually,Joe, I want you right now to
roll me a d 12.
Joe Diametti (15:49):
Yep. Five.
Isaac Allen Burns (15:52):
Yeah. It's well, okay. There's like five
other people I know in town whoare vets who haven't been named
in the story yet. So I'll gotalk to them. I think we can
bolster up the town a littlebit.
What a good what a good plan.You know?
Rowan Collins (16:03):
Yeah. Yeah. It is a good plan. We're gonna make
sure that this Apple's Festivalruns smoothly like peanut
butter.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:11):
Why? Yeah. I yeah. I get
Annie Hawthorne (16:13):
You know, sometimes peanut butter is not
smooth. Just saying.
Rowan Collins (16:16):
Yeah. We, yeah, we we sell that kind too. But,
like, mostly, it's smooth.
Joe Diametti (16:22):
What kind?
Rowan Collins (16:24):
Crunchy.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:25):
Crunchy sells really good, actually. You'd be
surprised. And people prefer it.Some people say it's the only
way to have it. But, anywaysyeah.
You do that. I'll I'll make thathappen. And, you know, we'll
see.
Rowan Collins (16:38):
Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:38):
You know, the Apple Festival, it really
doesn't hasn't gone smooth inthe last two hundred and thirty
eight years it's happened. So
Rowan Collins (16:44):
Well, I have a very strong bad feeling.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:47):
Oh, alright. Well, I trust you, Pistachio,
because you're my child. You'remy still my baby, and I'll
always love you.
Rowan Collins (16:55):
Literally, like, 30 years old.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:59):
Oh, I still remember when you were just a
little child just rollingaround. You know your first
words were data? Yeah. That'sright. Your first words were
data.
That was me. I so proud. Toldeveryone down.
Annie Hawthorne (17:13):
Go to the library now.
Rowan Collins (17:15):
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry, dad. Official
adventurer's business. I gottago.
Bye.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:22):
Alright. Bye. They
Rowan Collins (17:23):
will, like, kiss their dad out there. Little
chick could go, bye, dad. Bye.Don't be so hard on his. Okay.
Bye.
Annie Hawthorne (17:30):
What was that? Pistachios, dad.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:33):
You two leave and head towards the library.
Annie Hawthorne (17:37):
Your dad's got real weird energy.
Rowan Collins (17:39):
Yeah. I mean, that's just kind of my family. I
think they we attract eachother. Like, you met my mom.
She's also kind of a lot.
Annie Hawthorne (17:50):
Yeah.
Rowan Collins (17:50):
What did he say to you?
Annie Hawthorne (17:53):
He just went on and on about Kapi making a move
on you. And I was like, whywould Kapi ever I don't I don't
think that.
Rowan Collins (18:01):
He is I I feel like my dad thinks that
everybody is going to fall inlove with me just because I'm my
mother's child. And I it justit's not the way that life
works, dad. Plus, I'm not intoKapi. Kapi is, like, very much
(18:26):
not my type.
Annie Hawthorne (18:27):
I shouldn't think so.
Rowan Collins (18:28):
And also, I'm not Kapi's type.
Annie Hawthorne (18:30):
That's what I said.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:31):
You know?
Rowan Collins (18:31):
Kapi is my dad's type and my mom's type. And
probably Wally's type if Wallywas a little drunk. Not Hazel's,
though.
Annie Hawthorne (18:45):
He does seem to be a lot of people's type. Maybe
your dad is projecting.
Rowan Collins (18:49):
I think so. I think my dad is projecting a
little bit. Is he so let's see.I think what is happening is he
thinks Kapi is really, reallycute, And he's trying to beg
him, you know. He's trying to belike, oh, this guy's not good.
Right? Like, oh, he's ascoundrel. Oh. But he's really
into scoundrels.
Annie Hawthorne (19:08):
Oh, I see.
Rowan Collins (19:10):
I totally would % believe that.
Annie Hawthorne (19:14):
I just found it odd that I don't even know your
dad's name, and he cornered me.
Rowan Collins (19:18):
Well, his name is Cashew.
Annie Hawthorne (19:21):
Cashew. I've just been calling him
Pistachio's dad.
Rowan Collins (19:24):
Yeah. Papa Cashew. He trusts people a lot,
Greg. He's also really dramatic.If you haven't noticed, his arm
isn't that bad.
He could totally help Hazel ifhe tried.
Annie Hawthorne (19:42):
Yeah. I feel so bad for her. Yeah. I feel bad
for her too. She seems
Rowan Collins (19:48):
upset. Maybe if
Isaac Allen Burns (19:49):
You see a little voice comes out of the
library, which you're now infront of, and she says, oh, do
we feel really bad about? Oh,hi, mom. Hey. Hey, Priscilla.
Annie Hawthorne (19:58):
About Hazel. Do you know Hazel Drew?
Isaac Allen Burns (20:00):
Yes. Cashew's daughter. Yeah. I know Hazel.
Annie Hawthorne (20:03):
Pistachio's mom's daughter. Pistachio's
dad's daughter.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:07):
Both of their daughters, in fact. Yes. Or at
least that's what we're led tobelieve.
Rowan Collins (20:12):
I mean, she doesn't look like anybody else
in town. So
Isaac Allen Burns (20:15):
That's very true. You troops have one
specific physical thing thatsets you apart from all the
other fawns in town.
Rowan Collins (20:22):
That's true. Our animal magnetism.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:25):
That's right. All you troops, you just love
animals. They are drawn to you.
Rowan Collins (20:32):
That's true. That is not what I meant. But, yes,
Isaac Allen Burns (20:34):
that probably why that Ashenboro came up and
splooged all over your brother.
Rowan Collins (20:38):
They they do what now?
Isaac Allen Burns (20:40):
Yeah. He went up and just vomited on him.
Rounds all over his face.
Rowan Collins (20:45):
Right. Yeah. Vomited. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:48):
On him.
Rowan Collins (20:49):
Yep. Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:50):
That's what Kashy told us at the, you know,
poker night last night.
Annie Hawthorne (20:54):
Oh, oh. Yeah. I think I think your dad might
need a thesaurus. I can get himone.
Rowan Collins (20:58):
Yeah. I think he needs a thesaurus, and Kapi
needs dictionary. Hey. Goodthing we're at the library. Oh,
yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:04):
I got a thesaurus.
Rowan Collins (21:05):
Oh, fantastic.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:06):
We also have a dictionary, but it is quite
old. You won't find some moremodern words like novocite or Or
Rowan Collins (21:15):
splooge in there?
Isaac Allen Burns (21:16):
Splooge is unfortunately not in there.
Rowan Collins (21:19):
Oh, okay. How about nuttin'?
Isaac Allen Burns (21:21):
Well, you know, nuttin' is the verb that
does describe farming for nuts.
Rowan Collins (21:27):
It is true, but does it have the most recent
one?
Joe Diametti (21:31):
Craig ever read the book that he gave you?
Annie Hawthorne (21:37):
I don't think I have. No.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:38):
Oh, it's still in the chest.
Annie Hawthorne (21:39):
About that.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:40):
You're so enticed by the magic of the
staff.
Rowan Collins (21:44):
So, Craigsbob, were you That's me. What is
Isaac Allen Burns (21:49):
here thinking about busting nuts. Speaking.
Don't mind me.
Rowan Collins (21:55):
Speaking of people who I don't know their
name are, is there a better nameto call you besides Craigsbob?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:01):
Yeah. My name's Rosette.
Rowan Collins (22:03):
Oh, okay. Alright.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:04):
Nice to meet you.
Rowan Collins (22:05):
Nice to meet you, Rosette. You are a vet. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:11):
No. I'm a librarian, actually. Well I
don't I don't use No.
Rowan Collins (22:15):
I meant like a veteran.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:16):
Oh, yes. Yes. I was.
Rowan Collins (22:19):
Yeah. You've fought in the war.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:21):
I sure have. Not in the last civil war, but
in the war before that one.
Rowan Collins (22:25):
So cool. What did you do?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:27):
Well, I did a lot of things in the war. Let me
tell you, Pastel. How old areyou again?
Rowan Collins (22:32):
I'm, like, way I'm old. I'm an adult. I'm an
adult. Just let's link whatappointment would I have an
adult?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:37):
Out of the army. I tell you, the general,
he was a looker.
Rowan Collins (22:40):
Oh, what did the what did the general look like?
Isaac Allen Burns (22:43):
Oh, let me tell you. I had these broad
shoulders. Oh, he had a goodbeard too.
Rowan Collins (22:47):
Oh, wow.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:48):
He kept it well groomed. That wasn't the
only thing he kept well groomed.Let me tell you.
Rowan Collins (22:52):
Okay. I think this is petering off to a
different direction than Iwanted. Petering. Petering.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:59):
Why did he ask about my time at
Rowan Collins (23:01):
the moment?
Isaac Allen Burns (23:02):
What was artillery? I got to stay back
there and kill people from afar.I didn't have to see their dead
broken bodies. It was great.
Rowan Collins (23:08):
Pistachio just, like, takes a second and looks
off into the middle distance,shakes themselves, and goes, oh,
but so so we're the AdventuringGuild.
Isaac Allen Burns (23:17):
That's what a lot of my friends look like
whenever they would talk aboutthe war.
Rowan Collins (23:20):
We we are with the Adventuring Guild, and we
have been asked by the mayor todo a very special security
detail. And our boss, Kapi, cameup with this fantastic idea that
we ask our vets to, like, kindascout out, like, some places and
kinda stand guard in certainareas that, you know, might be
(23:42):
targeted. You know? Right? Thisis this is a big deal because,
like, you know, people arecoming to town, so we're just
trying to make it as safe aspossible.
So would you be interested in,like, helping us out?
Isaac Allen Burns (23:53):
Oh, I see sort of like sentries. You're
putting down defensivepositions. You know, as I was
artillery, I'm not so good at,you know, I'm not so good at
finding where they'll be, but Iam good at cutting them off at
the pass.
Rowan Collins (24:06):
Oh, fantastic. So would you like to put a be a,
like, a setup somewhere? Maybe,like, a way into town or
something?
Isaac Allen Burns (24:19):
Well, you know, you said your boss's name
was Kapi. Right?
Rowan Collins (24:23):
Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (24:24):
Well, let me tell you something, Pistachio. A
little word of elderly advice.You know, you probably wanna
call a meeting of some kind. Youknow, it's kind of late notice.
The festival is tomorrow.
Rowan Collins (24:34):
Oh. Right.
Isaac Allen Burns (24:35):
But still have you know, call everybody
together, figure out a time, andcome up with a game plan, of
course, plan of action, plan a,plan b.
Rowan Collins (24:44):
Okay. Well, is there a place that you guys
typically meet?
Joe Diametti (24:47):
Mom card. Call the mom card.
Rowan Collins (24:54):
An internal voice speaks to girl. I can't
Isaac Allen Burns (24:57):
say, pull the mom card.
Rowan Collins (24:58):
You'd be like, mom, please. Mom?
Annie Hawthorne (25:01):
Is it there a meeting room in the library?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:05):
Well, it's so funny you mentioned that there
is. I was just thinking I needto clear that out, actually. I
got a couple of old books backthere that I had to move out. I
think it gives me a reason tofinally do it. I can clear that
out.
We can have a meeting here.
Rowan Collins (25:18):
Oh, cool. Would you be willing to help us spread
the word to all the other vets?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:24):
Sure. I mean, there's, you know, there's a
couple of us still around town.There's about five others who I
don't play poker with and thusaren't named, so I can talk to
them a little bit.
Rowan Collins (25:33):
I think
Isaac Allen Burns (25:34):
Let them know.
Rowan Collins (25:34):
My dad is also doing that. And I guess, could
you call your poker group up?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:40):
Oh, yeah. You know, your father's in the poker
group, also Farmer Hitchens.
Rowan Collins (25:43):
Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns (25:44):
He's a hoot and a half. I tell you. Yes. If
you weren't so short, he'd be alooker.
Rowan Collins (25:49):
Yeah. He I guess he does have a nice beard, so
it's that seems to be whatyou're into.
Isaac Allen Burns (25:54):
Oh, well, you know, not on a dwarf.
Rowan Collins (25:56):
Oh. That's interesting. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:00):
We can't trust dwarves, really.
Rowan Collins (26:01):
I feel like this is Peter to get to a direction I
am not comfortable with. Well,okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:06):
Thank you. Peter got me thinking about the
general again.
Rowan Collins (26:09):
Oh, okay. Well, thank you, Rosette. We'll put it
here. We'll do it around, Iguess, right before sunset.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:18):
Oh, sure. I'm sure Cyrus already knows too. So
I don't know. I don't have toworry about telling him, I'm
sure.
Annie Hawthorne (26:23):
No. Not at No. Tell Cyrus. He'll he'll be fine.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:27):
Yeah. Of course. I'll clear out the
meeting room so that you can useit for later today or tonight or
whenever. I'll be here.
Rowan Collins (26:34):
Okay. Thanks, mom.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:35):
If you find any
Annie Hawthorne (26:36):
more magic books, let me know.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:37):
Sure thing. Gotta clean off the old rifle
while I wait.
Rowan Collins (26:41):
Is that another euphemism?
Isaac Allen Burns (26:43):
What? Mhmm. Oh. No. I have an old rifle.
Rowan Collins (26:47):
Oh, okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:49):
She reaches under the desk and pulls out
like an old timey rifle, likelike one of those, like, bolt
action rifles. And she says, Ihaven't used this baby in years.
I used to think people would tryand rob my library, and now I
let them. Because all they'redoing is robbing knowledge.
Annie Hawthorne (27:04):
Wow. Knowledge is for everybody. That's what
you always
Isaac Allen Burns (27:08):
what I always say. Knowledge for everybody no
matter how you get your hands onit.
Rowan Collins (27:15):
Thanks, Rosette. We'll see you later.
Isaac Allen Burns (27:17):
Course. See you soon. Bye, dearie. Hope you
have a good day.
Annie Hawthorne (27:22):
Thank you.
Isaac Allen Burns (27:23):
Stay safe out there.
Rowan Collins (27:24):
We will. I look at Crank once we're, like,
without outside of hearingdistance and go, Crank. I feel
like it do you think we shouldtell Cyrus? I know Kapi said not
Annie Hawthorne (27:37):
to Specifically said not to tell Kapi.
Rowan Collins (27:40):
All of the veterans are friends with with
Cyrus.
Annie Hawthorne (27:44):
Well, I feel like if they tell him, it's
fine. But if we tell him, thenwe broke a promise to Kapi.
Rowan Collins (27:50):
Did we break or did we promise Kapi, or did you
promise Kapi?
Annie Hawthorne (27:54):
I don't know if either one of us really
explicitly promised Kapi, but Ifeel like I, in my soul,
promised Kapi.
Rowan Collins (28:06):
I feel like Cyrus is gonna find out if Cyrus is,
like, Kapi's boss and thenBatman
Annie Hawthorne (28:12):
thinks that Cyrus would get mad at us.
Rowan Collins (28:15):
I feel like he's two bosses up from us.
Annie Hawthorne (28:18):
Does that make him our boss?
Rowan Collins (28:20):
I think that makes him our boss, and we maybe
should tell him about thebeating. But we can do that
after we get back from ourhitches.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:33):
You head off and tell the remaining people in
town. And so I ask, is there anylast things you wanna do before
you all retire? We start thenext day during the festival. So
what kind of preparations arey'all gonna try and put
together?
Rowan Collins (28:51):
So I think Pistachio will because they have
befriended the rats from thatone time when they cleaned up
the dumpsters Uh-huh. They'regonna go and talk to the rats
again and ask them to be, like,a scout line of, like, keep an
eye out for anything weird. AndPistachio will offer to give
them some nuts in in as payment.I would also like to see just as
(29:19):
Pistachio do does Pistachiothink that they could convince
the rats to help their sistergarden? They feel such guilt of
not being able like, theirentire family is down and
there's nothing else
Joe Diametti (29:33):
Okay.
Rowan Collins (29:33):
That they can help. I play devil's advocate.
Yeah. Unless Kapi tells themotherwise.
Joe Diametti (29:39):
No. No. No. I what I what if you went so I took the
peacekeepers
Isaac Allen Burns (29:45):
Mhmm.
Joe Diametti (29:46):
And you took the vets. I feel like we're still
missing a key group
Isaac Allen Burns (29:49):
Mhmm.
Joe Diametti (29:49):
Which is the young the all the other younger
people, your your siblings.
Rowan Collins (29:56):
Oh, yeah. I like this idea. Like, Pistachio,
maybe we'll see if they canconvince Hazel to take them to
talk to the young people
Joe Diametti (30:04):
Yeah.
Rowan Collins (30:04):
And, like, get them on board. That's smart. K.
I like that idea.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:10):
So very good. So instead of talking to the
rats at all or
Joe Diametti (30:14):
Oh, I thought this is two things.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:15):
Thought the
Joe Diametti (30:15):
rats were I thought rats are acting as your
eyes and ears.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:18):
Rats are eyes and ears.
Rowan Collins (30:19):
You can either Rats and eyes and ears.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:20):
You can either
Rowan Collins (30:20):
And then talk to Hazel about helping.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:22):
Talk to the Hazel. Okay.
Rowan Collins (30:23):
About, like, with the young people. Yes. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:26):
Yeah. Yeah. You can go talk to Hazel. She is
very down in the dumps, sosomething that could distract
her is really great.
Rowan Collins (30:34):
Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:34):
So even though she's still kinda cold
towards you and it's still alittle awkward, she eventually
relents and will go talk to someof the young people, some of the
young workers around town, theyoung professionals, if you
will, around town.
Rowan Collins (30:47):
I like that idea.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:49):
Collaborative storytelling. Collaborative
storytelling. And next we meetwill be the Apple Festival. Tune
in for the final moments of thevery first arc. What a wonderful
little tale that was.
Thank you for listening to thisbonus mini episode of DodoBorne
(31:10):
. When next we meet, it will bethe Apple Festival, and who
knows what will happen or whowe'll see there. Tune in next
week to find out. Hey. It's apodcast.
Popular Podcasts
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.