1.13 The Apple Festival: Part One

Episode Transcript
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Isaac Allen Burns (00:31):
The Apple Festival of Brackenroad is
finally here. Oh, how could Ieven describe it? Well, I think
the best way to describe it isto just take you with me. That's
right. I'm talking to you, fairlistener.
Look to your left and right allyou want, but I'm talking to you
right now. That's right. Youlistening right here, welcome to
the land of Altea, morespecifically, the country of

(00:53):
Vol'Dayne. Even morespecifically, the province of
Algenabah. Even furtherspecifically, the road just
outside the town of Brackenroad
Are you looking for a festivalof sights both delicious and
delightful? You've come to theright place, friend, because
you've come to the BrackenroadRoad Apple Follow me. In fact,

(01:13):
just take my hand, and I'll takeyou right there. You're
approaching the town from thesouth, which is where most
people approach the town, andyou're walking on well worn
cobblestones hewn into the sidesof rolling hills around this
fair province. Soon, as Icontinue walking you down this
road, you're surrounded by appletrees, decked with the most

(01:33):
succulent apples that you'veever seen.
What's that I hear you saying?Apples are in the fall and yet
it's springtime? Oh, well,that's the magic of this place,
friend. Maybe apples are in thefall, but Brackenroad Road
apples have no season becausethey are always in season. Look
over there to your right, andyou'll see our most ancient

(01:55):
apple tree.
It's nearly 250 years old, andyet it's producing bushels of
apple fruit like you've neverseen, like it's still in its
prime, like it's still young andvirile. That's just how blessed
we are here in Brackenroad ,friend. Deny it all you want,
but you can see before you theserows of beautiful orchards. And
if you look even further, you'llsee even other farms that aren't

(02:18):
as cool as these apples. Am Iright?
We laugh for a few moments. Andnow, look at this. A big wooden
gate standing before us, guardedby these two smiling
peacekeepers. We wave at them,and they nod to us and open the
gates. Have a wonderful appleday, they say in unison.
We brush that off and chuckle aswe walk into the gates. We're

(02:38):
good friends now. Inside thegates is a sight to see. Flags
and streamers of red, green, andyellows hang on nearly every
single window on every singlebuilding. Not to mention these
beautiful colored lamps that arestrong across the streets.
They may not be lit now as it isthe morning time. It is sunny

(02:59):
and you just woke up, silly.What's that you smell? That's
right. You're sniffing rightnow.
It's the smell of cinnamon andnutmeg and fresh squeezed apples
that rise to greet you as thecrispest of ciders and the
juiciest of tarts are preparedbefore your very eyes. There's
so much to see, but friend, wejust have to keep walking. Oh my

(03:21):
goodness. You could get to themlater. Just do what everyone
does.
Say you'll be back later in theday and just don't go back.
Don't worry. They won't take itpersonally. Ignore the rest of
these street vendors sellingtheir lovingly handcrafted wares
and these booths selling theirown various town delicacies. Is
that a caramel apple?
Is that a candied apple? Is thata snozberry apple? We probably

(03:44):
can't say that. We just gottaken down for copyright. But
don't worry, friend.
We're in a fantasy world. Youdon't gotta worry about it. Oh,
look where we are now, friend,who I've been leading through
this whole town. We're in thetown square. Look to your left
and you'll see a big stage.
Right now, there's a bardplaying a jaunty tune on a
little loop. Oh, but we can'tforget that at end of the first

(04:05):
night is the inaugural speech byour fair lord, Viscount Edgar
Malthazar, where he kicks offthe rest of the big events of
the festival. Don't worry. Mostpeople stay for the whole thing,
but even if you can't, that'salright. Because down every
street and every corner, there'sstuff to see here at the Apple
Festival.
Anyway, that's been me, yourgood friend and narrator here to

(04:26):
lead you around the town of theApple Festival. So stick around,
kick your feet up, and enjoy.You can relax here, friend,
because the festival has goneoff without a hitch for nearly
two hundred and fifty years.Three of you wake up having had

(05:52):
a really weird dream of someoneleading you around the town.
That was in canon, actually.
Just to recap a couple things.Y'all have done a lot to prepare
the town for somethingoccurring. This includes getting
the rats from a trash heap to beon the lookout. You've convinced
some of the younger folks aroundtown to keep a lookout. You've

(06:13):
convinced some of the olderveterans around town to keep a
lookout.
Now, obviously, they're notgonna stand at attention the
whole time. So shifts areoccurring where some of them
will have been stationed atvarious outposts just in places
where they can see what's goingon. The peacekeepers are
stationed at the two gates, oneheading to the South and one
heading to the North. Butnevertheless, what this will

(06:35):
mean mechanically is that ifanything does happen, not saying
it would because, yeah, it'sjust a festival, you guys.
Nothing bad happens in thefestival.
Don't worry about it, gang. Butif something does happen, there
will be a few mechanicalbenefits that we will discuss if
they come up. And who knows?Maybe they won't. It's just the
Apple Festival, you guys.
But nevertheless, as the morningstarts, I will ask, where do we

(06:58):
find you three?

Joseph Diametti (07:00):
Where were we hiding out? In your

Rowan Collins (07:02):
In my clubhouse.

Yeah.

Off of Droop Farm, which is in the shed on
the backside of the propertyunder a hidden cellar door with
a bunch of stuffed animals.

Perfect.

Annie Hawthorne (07:13):
Yep. I feel like I'm just, like, guarding my
staff with my life. It's behindme. I am, like, in a corner and
it is behind me, and I'm justsitting, looking so I can see
everything.

Kapi is outside sitting and looking over his new
Halberd.

Oh, hi, Kapi.

Hey, kid.

Hey. Oh, wow. That's a really long ride you
got there.

Oh, yeah. Cyrus gave it to me. Just to make sure
we do a really good jobprotecting the festival.

Okay. Well, that makes sense. Is Craig ready?

I don't know. Crank?

Are you guys outside or are you guys inside?

I poke my head in.

What? What? What? Everything's fine.

Okay. It's just you've been in there all
morning.

Well, I'm not doing anything weird if that's
what you're implying.

Yeah. I just you've been hiding that staff
under a blanket.

What stuff?

We need a knock when we enter so you could put
your staff away.

Yeah. I've just noticed I've noticed it's been
at attention. And I've noticedthat you keep reaching your hand
under this the blanket.

We can knock if you need to put it away.

I'm gonna have to shower

some cold rain on top of this room. I'm just
worried that those gauntlets aregonna get rusted or something.

Alright. Hold your horses. I'm coming.

Very good. You step out into the sunlight
and the three of you are readyto begin the festival.

Alright. So we all know what we're doing today?

Following your orders.

Right? Robot?

Following your orders?

Right. We all need to follow my orders. Just a
quick recap. We have a verydangerous artifact.

Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.

Right, Crank?

I don't

know what you're talking about.

Let's just keep our eyes peeled for anything
suspicious and then, you know,handle it appropriately.

That we can do. Okay. Okay. But we are gonna see
Scarlet at some point before theend of the day. Right?

I I don't know. Scarlet's very busy. This is
like Scarlet Super Bowl, whichis a thing in Valdez.

That's right. There is a Super Bowl in the
land of Altea. There's a sportthat's played. And then once a
year, all the best teams the twobest teams of that sport come
together in a fantastic afantastic celebration of the
sport called the Super Bowl.That's right.
That is Canon now. Put it on thebooks. I can't wait to discover
more about it.

So, yeah, I I don't know. Scarlett's very
busy.

I I do think it's important that we probably see
her at well, at least what'stoday. Right?

I don't know. So, also, speaking of well, kind
of not really related, but kindof. At the end of the day,
assuming that all things gowell, if you guys see Nefany,
maybe just tell her that I diedfor testing. Yes. I I liked you,

(10:05):
big guy.

Why why are we telling Niffany that you die?

I just I don't know. Well, it doesn't have to
be that I died. It could be thatI got an incurable disease that
is infectious. It could be that

Should we tell her she needs to go see a
doctor?

Maybe. Well, wait. Actually, no. Maybe don't
do that, actually. Oh.
Okay. Anyways, we have work todo, guys. Doctor. What? What?
Language.

I'm so sorry.

You have you've been really wild since you
started hanging out with us. I'mworried about your image. I'm If
you're gonna be a doctor, youneed to keep a certain amount of
credibility. Sorry. Okay?

Are we

a bad influence on you? I'm

yeah. I

always do that word. It it just called for it
this point. Anyway, so you sleptwith Nepheny? I thought you
loved Scarlet.

What are you talking you can't prove guys,
the Apple Festival started. Weneed to be there. We are the
main defenders And I hold mygiant Stick? Yes. My giant
halberd.
Hold my giant halberd and Istruggle because it's a little
hard to balance. And I walkforward towards town and expect

(11:18):
you guys are with me.

I kinda wait for a second and look back to Crank
and go, isn't Scarlet supposedto be married off at the end of
this festival? Meaning, thisperhaps is the last time that
Kathy will ever get to seeScarlet ever.

Well, if he's dead, he'll never get to see her
again anyway.

That's true. But I thought it was just for
Nepheny.

Oh, I thought you were supposed to tell
everyone that he died.

I think just Nepheny.

Oh. Well, how is Nepheny gonna believe that
he's dead if we don't tellanyone else that he's dead?

So we're gonna tell everybody else he's dead.

Okay. That sounds like a plan.

Okay. And then who is this guy?

His evil twin brother?

I like it. Zappy?

Zappy is a good one.

Or Fappy.

And on that note, you start following Kapi
back into town. The three of youmake your way into town and
begin your patrol. You noticeyou take your checkpoints where
you go and check on some of theother soldiers at a couple of
the taller buildings in town.Not the town hall as the town
hall is the tallest building asit is the most important. Some
of the other taller buildingsthat have roof access, there are

(12:29):
a couple of people who arethere, keeping a lookout on both
outside the town and inside ofit.
As you walk through the town,you walk through the various
streets and roads. You seeplenty of people here, a
plethora of all kinds of people.It's odd because here in
Brackenroad, it's largely fawnsthat are here. But now there are
people from kind of all over theprovince who have come to the

(12:51):
Apple Festival. So you still seea lot of fawns, see a couple of
see a lot more dwarves around, alot of people who you can tell
are outside of the town.
The thing you know about thefirst day of the Apple Festival
is that this is sort of the bigbooth time. So there's a lot of
booths, a lot of tents, a lot ofpeople having set up little
station where they can selltheir wares, including their
fruit and their handmade craftsand such. A lot of the big

(13:15):
events like the eating contestsand the biggest vegetable
contest, the typical fair fairsthat occur are later on in the
day. And as you are travelingthrough making checks of all
these things, about an hour intothe first day, who comes
striding up to the three of you?But mayor Raisins himself.

(13:35):
He is dressed in a nice longcoat of red and green and
yellow. It is quite garish.However, it's the festival,
baby. You gotta be a littlegaudy for the festival. And this
man is walking towards y'all.
You can tell that he's verystressed out. And he comes up to
Kapi and says, hello, Kapi.Hello, all of you. Hello. Oh,
it's so good to see you.
I see that you're hard at work.Yes? Yes. You're hard at work.

Everything's going great, Mare Raisins. Are
you having a good time?

Good. Yes. I'm having a great how am having
a can I talk to you three reallyfast? Can I just talk to you
three really fast just veryquickly? Come here.
Come here to the side alley. He,like, drags the three of you
over to the side alley.

Okay. Okay. Listen. Listen. In the side
alley.

Yes. We are here. No one is around. I have
to ask you something verysensitive. I'm going to whisper
it now.
Did any of you see anything whenyou came to the town hall a few
days ago? You came and and youand Habito have noticed anything
there that seemed peculiar, youdid not see anyone walking away

(14:34):
with, like, a big walking stickor maybe a stick that had lots
of gems in it? Or did you seeanything like that?

Are is is this how you tell us that you collect
sticks?

No. No. No. No. No.
No. No. No.

No. No. No. No.

No.

Did you see a big No.

Stuffed with clothes?

No. No.

Did you not see it?

No. Why? Why? What's going on?

Okay. We are calm. We are breathing. We are
calm. Give me one moment.

Pistachio currently is just, like, mile,
loudly staring just like andthen slowly goes behind Craig as
if there's nothing.

The only re okay. The reason that I ask is
because there was a veryimportant thing in the town
hall.

Okay.

That was very secretive that may have had the
description of a staff that wasgreen, and it is not there
anymore. So nothing to fear.Nothing to fear. Don't even
worry

about it. No. No. I know. But I stick my hands
out to crank and pistachios ifdid you say, like, yeah.
Everything's fine. Okay. MayorRaisins Yes.

Is that the same?

What was what was so important about the
staff?

Oh, nothing. It's nothing. It's It's nothing
about it. I was nothing aboutit. Really, was a failure.
Just wanted to fight it. It'snot here right now. So there's
nothing to worry. Yeah.

You know? Right now. But you see You know what?
What? Actually Actually?
Now that I think about it

You are thinking?

I'm thinking hard.

Okay.

And I think my two compatriots could back me up
on this.

Okay.

I think we saw , man.

I can hardly hear the end of suspense.

Okay. First off, what the hell is Scarlet's
dad's name?

Oh, you have the same guy. Yeah.

Apple Bottoms. What's his name?

Oh, yeah. Apple Bottoms.

Apple people.

Apple Apple

Yeah. Okay. I think we saw rich apple people
leave with he was holding itlooks like a stick under like a
blanket or some and I actually Iwanna use my Oh. Deft deceiver,
which is an ability where I canspend a hope to take advantage
on a role I make to deceive ortrick someone Oh, no. Into

(16:52):
believing a lie I tell them.

Nice. Okay. This will be a presence role for
deception. Go ahead and do it.

Alright. My presence role is a plus one.
That is a 18 with hope and I getto roll advantage to spend a
hope to roll advantage, which isa six.

So 24.

With hope.

So for reasons Hope.

We're not hope.

For for reasons I won't fully reveal, I
will say the DC for this wasvery high, as in it was a 20.
You beat a 20. So his eyes gowide, and you hear him say, that
son of a bitch. I knew he was upto something.

I knew he would do this. Never had a good
feeling about him.

He's always tried to Always.

He's always tried to I heard him talking
about you.

He's never liked me. That's right. I knew
he never liked me.

I tried to tell him you were a good guy.

He was always mad. The guy was made and not
his people.

He just couldn't stand that you had the
power.

That's why I'm going to there's very little
I can actually do, but I'm madabout it now.

Oh, should be.

He puts a he puts a talent on your shoulder
and says, Kapi, you make me feelvery better. We will come up
with a plan of attack to get itback. This is this is very bad,
Ziti. It's gone.

What kind of security council would we be if
we didn't make you feel secure?

Yes. You are very right. You know, Kapi, I
was a little unsure when I heardthat a bunch of random people in
the town were put on securitynotice. But at first, I was
worried that would cause an anuproar, a commotion. But now I
see I can trust you.
This is very good.

Mayor, what does that staff do?

Okay, Poustache. Oh,

that's it is just a fairy goddoms. There is
nothing very important toNothing I have to worry about.

Nothing to worry about.

It's not it's not crucial to staff.

To the town.

Not at all. It's just a thing.

So it's just a thing.

Yes. It's

thing. So let's go when I I I push Pistachio out
the alley.

I back out of the alley very slowly holding my
body in a way that just obscuresthis giant long stick on my
back.

He watches you go and says, that robot
moves. Very weird. But goodthing I have nothing to worry
about, but have to get back andsee Apple people. You see, his
fears have been fully assuaged,and he as you step out of the
alley, you hear footstepsrunning towards you, it's the
mayor. He forgot something.
He says, wait. Before you go.

Yes. Mayor of Raisins.

Of course. So one thing I wanted to talk to
you about, however, was that

That wasn't the thing?

Oh, that was the thing. But I was so scared
of this thing. I forgot aboutthe other thing I wanted to give
you. And he holds out threelittle tickets. He hands them to
you and says, listen.
One thing that I believe in isthat this festival is very
important for all of us. And Ithink the three of you should
also remind ourselves what youare defending. And so these
three tickets can be used toplay any of the games for free

(19:42):
across the festival. Feel freeto enjoy yourself. Take a little
five minute break and play maybeone of the Applejacks or perhaps
the any of the other games thatare there.
Listen. Listen. I trust all ofthis in your hands. So if you
find a break, I just wanted todo something for you for you to
feel good. So enjoy thefestival, my friends.

And thank thank you, sir. Thank you. Means a
lot.

I am a good leader, and he turns and walks
away.

Pistachio's face is, like, plastered on us this
while and looks over to Kathyand goes,

hi.

I don't feel good about this.

Crank, are you okay? That one was close.

I think so. Maybe we should disguise this
thing a little better.

Maybe. Here. Let me take it.

No. What? No. You can't defend it. What?
You're

was just kidding. You not want me to hold
the I mean, I I I do have thisbig thing for right now. So

Yeah. You're holding your own.

Okay.

You can't touch mine.

Okay. Should we play some games?

I was hoping we could.

What kind of games are there? I've never been
to this festival before.

That's right. Crank's never Pistachio Crank's
never been to the AppleFestival.

Wait. That's so funny.

Crank, you have to play Apple Jacks.

Apple Jacks. What is that?

Apple Jacks is the best game where

You go to the Apple Jacks table as Kapi
explains that Apple Jacks is agame of finesse, where what you
have to do is you hold an applein your hand, and you have to
throw it up in the air, and youhave to pick up as many seeds,
many apple seeds as you can offthe table, and catch the apple
before it splats on top of you.Simply put, you'll roll a
Finesse check. And depending onhow well you roll will determine

(21:19):
how many seeds you pick up anddepends on what kind of prize
you get.

I'm very bad at Apple Jacks, but I will happily
go, okay.

Alright. Hands you a nice plump apple and
says, okay. You gotta throw itup directly above your head and
catch as many get as many seedsas you can.

This apple is, like, twice the size of the
hand.

These are big Brackenroad apples.

Big Brackenroad apples. So Pistachio tosses it
up. Wow. That's a crit with Oh

my god.

Oh my goodness.

But it's like a two's crit, which is funny.

Okay. Looks

Go ahead and roll a d 10 just to see how many
you're able to get.

Oh my gosh.

I rolled another two, y'all.

Oh, so what happens is here's exactly what
happens, Pistachio, is you throwthe apple up in the air. And as
you go down, you pick up twoseeds, and suddenly a bird comes
out of nowhere and startsgrabbing the seeds off the
table. So in the few secondsthat you have, you, like, start
fighting the bird off, and thena bird flies away just in time
for you to catch the apple. Soyou only have two seeds, but

(22:20):
everyone's really impressed. Andyou see the person behind the
table who's kinda, like, coveredin feathers now says, wow.
I've never seen that happen.Yeah. That's we'll say you you
we'll say you did it. Good job.Wow.

Leaks.

Okay. So think it is good for three of
you to try it.

Let me show you how it's done, metal.

Copy goes up.

Alright. So and just because I have this
experience, I feel like I haveto use it. I wanna I wanna use
how do you like dem apples? Yes.Which is a plus two on top of my
plus two finesse anyways.
So again, I look at crank, thenI wink, and then I throw the
apple in the air.

You do so.

Then I

What do we got?

Hang on. I had to figure out if it was a six or
nine.

Nice.

A 17 with fear.

Kapi,

you With fear, though.

Throw the apple up, and you're able to
pick up seven seeds before theapple comes down. And the thing
is is that whenever you throwthe apple up, it's coming down.
And the last thing you wanna dois crunch the apple. And, Kapi,
you're able to cash the apple soeasily. See, a couple of kids
were standing around and say,what?
Oh my gosh. Seven. My Seven.

Keep going. Keep going.

Oh my gosh. Got Chevy

No. It's nothing really. It's in that,
you know, I look at Crank as ifI'm, like, challenging him.

Oh, that looks easy.

Table person looks at you, Crank, and says,
sod, do you wanna try it? Youseem really big.

Crank. Crank.

Crank. Crank. Crank. Luckily, apple jacks is
played with one hand. You can't,like, do two hands.

(24:07):
So you can hold it in one ofyour hands and try it.

I'm trying to think because my finesse is plus
zero.

So it

could either be terrible or I could be, like,
using my strength to throw thisapple as high as I can into
space.

That's so funny. Oh my god.

I'll say this one.

Can I use my strength to throw this apple as
hard as I can

to hear? I will let you use strength, but
the DCs will increase. I'll saythat much.

Okay.

Go for it. Let's see what happens.

It's gonna be terrible. 20 with hope. God. 20.

You cock back and just baseball throw this
apple straight up in the air.And then just with your big
hands, you just scoop all theseeds. And then you reach out
for the apple, and it had somuch. Then once it hits your
hand, it just you don't moveyour hand to, like, catch it, so
it just splatters everywhere inyour hand. The table person

(25:07):
behind just kinda wipes applecuts off of his face, and they
said, well, I guess you didcatch it, but it feels like a
technicality.
I don't I don't know what to dohere, but you're really tall,
and I'm intimidated by you. SoI'm gonna say you win. Oh,
you're supposed to pick them up.You know, it does you okay. You

(25:28):
all win.
Good job, everybody. You get thethree prize, and he hands all
three of you a little potion.Yay. Everyone beat the
equivalent of the DC 15 to getthe five seed prize, which for
each of you is a focus potion.This potion smells like a fresh
apple, freshly squeezed with atouch of cinnamon.

(25:48):
And if you drink this, your nextFinesse roll will have a plus
one.

So it's Gee.

That's mister?

It's Adderall.

Oh, thanks.

There's only plus one for your very next
Finesse roll. But, yeah, thethree of you get that, and
that's really awesome. Cansomeone roll me a d six?

I'll do it. Three.

Fantastic. This is really great.

Can we go bob for apples? I could hold my breath a
really long time.

I don't need to breathe.

That is true.

I'm so I'm starting to see a pattern in how
most of these games is gonna go.And

I also am pretty good at guessing where the apple
is under the cups. That one'spretty good.

Are you talking about apple tiles? Apple
tiles. Is pretty good. Yeah.That is pretty fun.
Very good. As you start headingtowards apple tiles, you see
someone walking down the road,and this person sticks out to
you because you see a welldressed, rather plump elf. She's
rather tall. She's dressed invibrant greens. And on either
side of her are two armoredindividuals with green designs

(26:53):
all over the armor and a bannerkind of put on it of a wolf,
which you all know is the bannerof Just Thane.
It clicks to you, Kapi, whospecifically heard about this.
This is senator Martin, and sheis walking through. She has got
the most beautiful teeth you'veever seen a person have and a

(27:14):
laugh that carries. And you seethat she's talking to some local
nobles. You see she's hobnobbingand chatting with them.
The two guards on either sideare kind of looking around. You
see their heads are on a swivel.They're not like their hands
aren't on their swords. They'renot looking aggressive. They're
just more they're clearlybodyguards.
But they're looking around andthey see the three of you, and
one of them sees that halberd ofyours and just kinda cocks his

(27:36):
head to the side.

And Kapi just waves back at him. Hi. Hi. And I
I I kinda like I lean over to mygang. Playtime's over.
You see you see that elf overthere?

The pretty tall one?

Yes. The well dressed pump one

as I I heard As it was described.

He's not that tall.

Okay.

We need to protect that elf. That's senator
Martin.

Oh, okay. K. Ready?

Everyone act real professional.

Pistachio bounds up to her. Oh, hello. Welcome to
the festival.

Oh, dear. Well, hello there.

Hi. I'm Pistachio Droop.

Well, a pleasure to meet you, Pistachio.
My name is Melissa Martin. Sheholds a handout for you.

Pistachio takes her hand and gives her a firm
handshake.

Oh, a firm handshake. Someone raised you
right, little one.

Thanks. That was my sister.

That's all the nuttin'.

It is all

Oh, my.

We are I'm part of the nut farm, the Droop
family farm, But this is theApple Festival, so welcome. I'm
part of the Adventury Group.This is my boss, Kapi, and my
best friend, Craig.

Hi. Oh, you're adventurers. I did hear
there was a branch here inBrackenroad. I was curious to
see what kind of adventure werehere. Pleasure to meet you,
Melissa Martin.
She was a Very,

very and I buttoned up my jacket. Senator
Martin, is there anything thatwe could do to, you know, make
your time here more comfortable?I see you have your guards. Is
there anywhere we could helppoint you? Or?

Dear, this is not my first Apple Festival,
trust you me, but I doappreciate it.

Yeah. No. I Yeah. Absolutely. Well, we're
here and we, you know, we haveconnections.
So if you, you know, if you needanything at all, you you let us
know. Okay?

Oh, well, I do love to hear that. Thank you
so much for your hospitality. Iwasn't sure what kind of
reception we were gonna get. Ihaven't stepped inside these
borders in nearly ten years.Wow.
But I love to see this littletown is just so ripe and
beautiful.

Oh, well, the town that they see you. We're
about to go towards the appletiles. Would you like to join
us?

Oh, I do wish I could. I do wish I could, but
duty calls, I have to hobnob toevery self important noble here
in this wonderful country. Infact, I believe that I can hear
my old boss, mister Balthazarhimself, coming this way. Oh.
Oh, a Viscount now.
You know, he used to be an Earl.

Oh, I do know that. Yes.

He used to be an Earl, but for the first time
in Fulbain's history, he wasdowngraded. Oh, it makes my
little sassy heart happy to hearit.

Pistachio is just like, looks happy. Okay. Well,

this has been great. Yep. Crank? Yeah. Let's
go.

Alright. Well, let us know. Goodbye.

She smiles wide knowing she made you
uncomfortable. And just in time,you look around and see another
important figure walking downthe street. It's a dwarven man
who is very stout and very widewith very serious expression on
his face. Looks like he hasn'tcracked a smile in nearly years.
On either side of him, you see amember of the peacekeepers you

(30:53):
haven't seen before.
He's very well dressed in a sortof officer's uniform. You see
the insignia on his uniformsuggests that he is a major. Can
see a couple of features on thisindividual that sort of favors
the man walking towards you now.None of you have ever met this
person before, but you havecertainly heard of him. This is
Viscount Edgar Balthasar.

(31:15):
You see that they approach eachother, and from the distance,
you see a very terse and tenseconversation, but one that
senator Martin smilesthroughout.

That does not look like a very good
conversation.

You like to try an eavesdrop of what they're
talking about? Absolutely.

Yeah. So I was trying to look at I was trying
well, one, I was trying to seeif I have a move, but my first
instinct was to ask Crank to usehis antennas.

Yeah. I'll just, like, turn up the volume
knob on my one non broken earaudio receptor.

That's incredible. Go ahead and make
that instinct check to try andhear it.

Oh, and I have a plus an extra plus one to
instinct right now

because I

have my staff.

Power of the staff glows within you.

19 with fear.

19 is pretty good. I'll take I'll go ahead
and use that fear right now. Butfirst, Crank, you hear a snippet
of conversation. You hearMelissa Martin saying, well,
Edgar, if you had just listenedto me when I first came to you
with all those demands that ourunion had, you probably wouldn't
have wound up in thisconversation, would you? And yet

(32:19):
here you are now a Viscount.
What a shame. You hear Edgarsort of say, things were
different back then, Melissa.You know that just as much as I
do. And Melissa interrupts andsays, senator Martin, to you,
viscount. In any case, I'm sohappy that I'm able to see what
this place looks like.
At least you haven't ruined thisplace too like you tried to do

(32:42):
with all the other places upnorth. Edgar sort of sighs
heavily and says, well, enjoyyour time here. Hopefully,
you'll enjoy it a lot more thanCloud of Towers writes. He
hasn't been heard from for awhile, if I recall. And you can
tell from here that senatorMartin's smile is plastered on,
but you can see a little twingeand says, well, I'm not one to

(33:02):
speak much of the newlyweds now,am I?
I hate to get in other people'sbusiness after all. And Edgar
sort of smirks and nods andsays, enjoy your time at the
festival. Don't drink yourselfor two under the table, and he
walks away before Melissa sortof looks over in your direction,
Crank, who has noticed that youwere listening and just sort of
winks. The fear was that youwere found out that you were

(33:24):
watching. However, on that nightscene, you were able to hear all

that. Well?

I just, like, had my, like, mouth open that
whole time and had it, like,relanged to the speaker. Oh. So
you heard all of that.

Oh. Yeah.

Belfastar seems a little

a little fit to say.

She saw me.

She saw you?

Yeah. She, like, winked at me.

As they walk away, they move a little further
than you can hear. But as yourattention is still on her, you
do notice that the peacekeeperthat was with Edgar Malthazar
comes up to senator Martinlater, sort of, like, shaking
his head and seeming apologeticin whatever he's saying to her.
That conversation doesn't lastlong enough for anything
interesting to be said though.

Let's keep an eye on that.

Yeah. Not to freak out about, but just to
keep an eye on.

There we go. Hey, you're learning.

Yeah. Which is good. Thanks. You see like
little stars and pistachios?Kapi doesn't notice.
As

you head out, can someone throw me another d
six?

Not me.

I'll do

it. Someone else.

That's a two.

Oh, two. That's different. Very exciting.
Not much time has really passedand you're kind of on your,
like, thirty minute break rightnow. And so you then notice
someone that sticks out to you,Crank.
You see over at one of thebooths is a little cidery of
sorts where some differentciders are made. All of them
taste like apples. No pineappleciders, no blackberry ciders,

(34:51):
just straight up apples up anddown. And they have sort of set
up a little bar area wherepeople can sit and have some
cider and you notice a mansitting there, a fawn, a very
old fawn. Thing is, Crank,seeing this fawn almost twinges
something in your brain.
This old fawn is dressed inthese sort of burgundy and
purple robes that go down totheir little hooves. They're

(35:13):
sitting there talking to anotherold fawn, a fawn you recognize,
actually. You see FarmerHitchens is talking to this man.
But, Crank, the reason thisperson sticks out to you is that
something burns through yoursynapses to tell you that that
individual is from Polaris.

I think I fall behind a little bit for my
friends as they continue throughthe festival. I, like, sidestep
over to there.

Yeah. We're just Pistachio and I are walking
ahead, and we're, like, reallywe're doing that thing where we
bring someone to our hometown,and we're being, like, obnoxious
about it. We're like, no. No.No.
No. No. The best thing that youhave to try is is the

Is oh, of course, the ice cream.

The apple ice cream. Yeah. They put these
little cinnamon pieces in them.

Right. They're so

good. Crunchy pieces of cinnamon, like
cinnamon crisp.

Right. And I know you don't eat, but you just
gotta watch people eat it. It'sit's and then we're just, like,
walking in as our voices faded.

And they have this, like, little tractor thing
that goes, boof. Every timethat, like, makes the ice cream,
it's, wait.

So, Crank, you've sidled behind as their
voice is talking about apple icecream. You sidle up to those two
fawns, do you?

I do. Like, kinda behind them as they're
talking. I am gonna reach myhand in, like, under the blanket
behind my back, and I'm gonnajust, like, hold the staff.

Farmer Hitchens recognizes you. He's
got a pretty bad memory, but hestill recognizes you. And he
says, oh, well, hey there,Crank. Good to see you. Good to
see you.
Hey there.

Hello. Excuse me. I noticed your robes. Are
you from Polaris?

You see turning around this old fawn,
clearly well along in age,probably in the latter end of
the age of a fawn, looks at youand just kind of smiles and
says, oh, I can't. Never thoughtI'd see a mark two defender in
my day. Where's your where'syour charge? Where's your
defender? And before you caneven answer, Farmer Hitchens

(37:00):
kinda smacks him and says, no.
No. No, Foswell. This is justit's Crank. He's just a guy.
He's not a it's not a charge oranything like those newfangled
concepts.
He's just a good working man.And Foswald looks at you very
quizzically and says, reallynow? Is that true? Tell me about
yourself, son.

Well, originally, I had a charge, but
I haven't had a charge in tenyears now.

Oh, that would track ever since the civil
war. Right?

Yeah. And now I'm trying to go to Polaris to
become a wizard.

Oh, you wanna go to Polaris, do you? Sorry to
tell you, Mach two is you know,you're you weren't developed to
do magic, unfortunately. So

I'm gonna grip the staff behind me. I'm gonna
hold my hand out, and I'm justgonna, like, will something
happen.

What happens?

I don't know.

Make a we'll say make an instinct role. It
was like a spell casting role.

Sixteen, seventeen with fear.

17 with fear. Okay. Uh-oh. 17, you succeed.
What occurs in your hand?

I think the staph is, like, nature based, so
I think I just, like, have vinesjust grow around my hand.

Oh. You see, Fonzewald looks at this. His
eyes kinda squint. He looks atyou and says, that's very
curious. You got a name?
What's your name?

My name is

Crank. Crank now. Well, Crank, this is very
curious. This from myobservation, seems like you
haven't really done this verymuch, have you?

Well, I've been working really hard on it for a
long time.

That I see. That I see. The gauntlets on
your hand, those are arcanegauntlets, are they not?
Technically. Those were commonissue order towards the end of
the civil war.
I remember I was part of theunit that sort of assisted the
war mages in putting thattogether. The fact that those
don't glow tell me that youhaven't quite mastered magic,

(38:59):
but you do have some amount ofmagic within you, it seems. What
was the name of your charge? Doyou remember? His name was
Adrian Toulouse.
Adrian Toulouse. By the gods.Crank. Right? Yes.
How long have you been in thistown? You've been here for ten

(39:20):
years?

Been here for three weeks.

Three weeks. What were you doing before then?
I don't remember. He kindastrokes his beard, he looks at
you all. Very curious.

The last thing I remember is the war, and then
I woke up, and then they sent meon my way, and now it's been ten
years.

Ten years and three weeks. You were
deactivated for nearly ten yearsafter the war, and now you've
come back about three weeks ago.Craig, this is you're rather
fascinating, young one, I wouldsay. You know, the mark threes
were made to have a little moreself awareness and pool ability.
And yet here you stand knowingyour name and history, and you
can at least have some masteryover an ounce of magic.

Do you think that I could go to Polaris?

Kinda squints and looks at you and says,
crank, if I'm being honest, thatwould be quite complicated. You
see, most mark twos of yourstyle were deactivated after the
war fully. Disassembled and putinto new parts, you'd be a
walking relic, a fossil, really.But if there's one thing that
Polaris loves, it's curiosities.And you seem rather curious

(40:25):
having come on your own volitionto come and talk to me.
You weren't ordered to do so,were you?

No. I haven't taken that order in ten years.

And Adrian Toulouse is dead. Yes. Or so we
were told. Tell you what, Crank.He reaches into his realm and
pulls out this crystal, kindalike an orb but with a lot of
sides on it, so it's verycrystalline in structure.
He hands it to you and says, ifyou're able to get those arcane
gauntlets working, they canreliably use magic. I want you

(40:54):
to shatter this crystal whereyou stand. I will be there in
but a moment, and we can have aconversation. By the gods, I
tell you this, Greg, that if youshatter that crystal and your
magic doesn't work, I swear tothe darkest of midnight, I will
disassemble you where you stand.Do not waste my time.
Am I very

clear? Crystal.

Very good. I think if you're able to do this,
you're able to get thosegauntlets working and you can
get control over that magic ofyours, I think you've got a lot
of potential, Crank.

Thank you, sir.

He looks back at you and nods and says, before
you go, Crank, can I ask yousomething? Of course. Does the
name Delilah Tomas mean anythingto you? Make a knowledge check
for me.

19 with hope. Oh.

19 with hope. Crank, This is great. Guess
what, you guys? What? I thinknow is a good time for a
flashback.
Crank. Flashback. Crank, what isyour first memory?

I think my first memory is being activated
after I came off the assemblyline, and I'm just, like,
standing in a room. Like, youknow, those old, like, tombs
that just have the stone, like,statues and just very neat
orderly rows? I think I'mstanding on one of those. It was
just me, lots and lots of machtwos just standing there waiting

(42:21):
to be deployed.

This is a memory that comes screaming back
to the forefront of your mind.As you come to, you hear a voice
saying, new graduates. It's it'sit's it echoes. I'm not gonna do
the echo, but it's echo. They'rein a big room.
You understand. Echoes. You allhave been specifically chosen
for this new technology. Thepower of our anima as wizards of

(42:46):
Polaris is such that few weaponscan truly harm us. However, as
technology gets more and moreadvanced and deadly, we need new
tools to shield ourselves.
Thus, introducing the DefenderSeries Mark two, a new age of

(43:08):
defense for our personal safety.Each of you will be given a
Defender series to protect youin the coming battles. Standing
before you, Crank, is a personwho you would later know as
Adrian Toulouse. Can you goahead and describe Adrian

(43:28):
Toulouse to us right now?

I think he's very average. He's average
height, average weight, has alittle bit of a scruffy beard
and long hair that he probablydoesn't spend much time on. I
think he just looks like hedoesn't spend a lot of time on
his appearance because he's toobusy being buried in his books
and his magic. Maybe his hair isa little, like, red tinged, like

(43:54):
auburn, and he just looks veryintelligent.

What would you say his ancestry is, do you
think? I think he's a half elf.So you see an auburn haired,
scruffy looking, lack of carehalf elf before you. The thing
that really surprises you Ithink is his smile and he's got
a big one right now. It's thekind of smile that just makes
you like a person.
You know what I mean? He'ssmiling real big. He has two

(44:16):
assistants next to him played byyou two right now. And you see
that this one looks at you andsays, Defender Mark two. That's
a bit of a mouthful.
What do you think, Pleiades?What should we name him?

Well, this thing is made out of metal, so maybe
we should do something likealuminum or titanium or
something like that.

Okay. Okay. We can put that on the drawing
board. What about you, Costello?What do you think?

I don't think that we should name it.

Of course, you don't, Costello.

Of course, you don't. Listen. The moment we
humanize, we can't get attached.We know what their purpose is.

You're so full of yourself. Come on. It's just
naming it so it's less of amouthful, you know?

Fine. M m two. Does that make you happy?

M two. That's basically calling it the same
thing.

Fine. Tooey. Tooey. Tooey. Final answer.

Oh my goodness. Okay. Get a room, you
two. Okay. Let's just ask it.
And you see that he is lookingat you right now in your
activated state and says, hello.My name is Adrian. What is your
name? Do you have a name?

I do not have a designation.

Would you like a name?

If you would like to bestow one on me.

Let's see. Cognant robotic assistant with
NovaSyte Kinematics. That wouldwork. Call you crank. How's that
sound?
Do you like that?

I have no opinion.

I see. Well, Costello, Pleiades, this is
really good now that we have oneof these. You haven't told
anyone that we're leaving forjust a second. Right? No.
Of course not. Good. Good. Good.Good.
Now that we have Crank here, wecan really further our research.
I think we're gonna make somegreat leaps. He kinda puts hands
on each of your shoulders andsays, we're gonna launch
ourselves into the future. AndCrank here is the key. He smiles

(46:09):
real big.
Well, Craig, I think this is thestart of a beautiful friendship.
What do you say?

Designation updated.

I like you, Craig. And as he says that, you
see walking up to him is a elvenwoman. She has really sharp
features and her hair is up in abun. She kind of like chuckles
and says, you're calling itCrank? Do you like that name,
Crank?
Is that a good name for you?

That is my designation.

You're going to humanize it. You're gonna
humanize it and you're going tohate yourself, Adrian.

I keep trying to tell him.

It's literally not that big a deal. It's just a
simple shorthand.

Adrian looks at her and says, when we give
things a name, we give itsignificance. And I think Crank
is gonna be very significant.And you see that she smiles and
says, you think everything youdo is significant and kisses him
and then they kiss for anawkward amount of time in front
of the two of you. And Delilah,as she pulls away, says, well,
have fun, you three. I'll beback to studying my research.

(47:09):
I was also given a mark too, soI'm not as excited as you three
seem to be. But maybe I'll namemine too. Something like
titanium or maybe aluminum.

That's a great name. See?

Thank you, Pleiades. I knew you would
understand. See?

Eye roll.

She walks away, and you see that Adrian
smiles and says, that Delilah,love her to death. And he looks
over at you, Crank, as thememory sort of fades.

Yes. I know Delilah.

Hey. It's a podcast.

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