December 10, 2024 • 44 mins
DODOBORNE @ GEN CON INDY 2025
Your GM, your best friend, and your storyteller Isaac Allen Burns will be running some Daggerheart tables at Gen Con Indy 2025 and everyone is welcome to come by and play! The four available games are each a standalone adventure. The other Dodos will be there so we all hope to see you there!
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It’s been … ONE WEEK since we’ve looked at our heroes, and the team’s friendship has only gotten stronger (at least in one direction). After a hard day’s work of slinging trash, they’re ready to end the day with a few drinks. Go ahead and pull up a chair, there’s room for more!
Pistachio gets manhandled. Kapi proves he can flirt. Crank finds that he has competition in the marketplace.
P.S. Pos Mae was thinking about “predatory pricing.”
DodoBorne is a comedy storytelling actual play podcast where four friends dive into the world of Daggerheart, a brand-new tabletop roleplaying game by Darrington Press.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Isaac Allen Burns (00:31):
Hey, everybody. Welcome to this, an
episode of DodoBorne! It's me,the GM, Isaac Allan Burns. Oh,
we're feeling good. We'refeeling great. Dodo Born is an
actual play, Daggerheartpodcast, where the 4 of us are
gonna play the game created byDarrington Press, called
Daggerheart.
Sitting across from me rightnow, I've got Annie Hawthorne.
Annie Hawthorne (00:53):
Yo.
Isaac Allen Burns (00:54):
And across from Annie, I've got Rowan
Collins.
Rowan Collins (00:57):
Wait. Aren't you across from Annie?
Isaac Allen Burns (01:00):
And across from Rowan, I've got Joe
Diamatti.
Joe Diametti (01:02):
I have no idea where I am at this table.
Isaac Allen Burns (01:06):
I try to keep them on their toes. They never
know where's we're going next.
Rowan Collins (01:10):
I am on my butt.
Isaac Allen Burns (01:11):
I play 2 truths and one lie whenever I
introduce these people. It hasbeen one full week since we last
(02:25):
saw Althea. And I gotta say, onemore week since we last saw it,
and it looks better every singletime I see it. Althea is just a
beautiful place with theshimmering seas that surround
this island continent to itstall mountains, some of which
are snow capped to suggest thatthey're so very tall. Not tall
enough to be impassable, mindyou, but tall enough to be
(02:47):
majestic and awe inspiring.
Joe Diametti (02:50):
It feels like it's gonna come up later.
Isaac Allen Burns (02:51):
Maybe. Who knows? I gotta keep you on your
toes. Mhmm. You see, our 3heroes here are members of the
adventuring guild of BrackenRoad.
Brackenroad is a small farmingtown just outside the border of
Just Thane and Voldane. Theycurrently live on the Voldane
side. And on the other side ofthose tall mountains that stand
(03:12):
so majestically and inspiringjust outside the town is just
that, just on the other side ofit. It is 1 week until the Apple
Festival. That's right, the mostimportant event in Bracken Road.
And, Kapi, this year, much likeevery year, the missions have
kind of slowed down. Missionshave kind of been boring for the
(03:32):
whole week. Like you reallyreally peaked last week with
those eelgaters, but it's beenbeen really boring ever since.
And Kapi, you know why. You knowwhy that is.
And it's because because theApple Festival is coming about,
there's a certain group that'sgetting a lot more invested in
the town in order to keep upappearances. And you know who
(03:54):
that group is, Kapi. That groupis the Peacekeepers. Now, you
know, I could sit here and tellyou what the peacekeepers is,
but actually, I'm gonna dosomething different. We're gonna
learn who the peacekeepers aretogether through a flashback.
Pistachio, you were once inschool. Mhmm. Let's go back in
time 6 years ago to a classroom.Pistachio was sitting in a
classroom, and, Kapi, you neverwent to school, and Crank, you
(04:16):
weren't around then. So Joe andAnnie, you just get you can just
be like 2 other students in thisscene.
So just kinda, you know, playinto it when you feel necessary.
Pistachio, you are 6 yearsyounger than your real self, and
you're sitting in a classroom.And up at the front is your
history teacher, misterToulouse. He stands in front of
(04:37):
all of you, in front of ablackboard, and is looking out
at everyone and says, well, thatconcludes our section on the war
with Jastain, the war of Jastainrebellion. So as we all
remember, that will be on thequiz.
Now moving forward, I wanna talkabout some of the effects of
(04:57):
that war. Now who can tell mewhat happened to a majority of
the army once the war was ended?Anyone tell me.
Rowan Collins (05:08):
Oh, oh, oh.
Isaac Allen Burns (05:10):
Yes. You in the back.
Annie Hawthorne (05:11):
They died.
Isaac Allen Burns (05:12):
Oh, well, that maybe that many soldiers
did die in the war with Chastainrebellion. That is true. One of
the bloodiest wars on record.Not quite though. I'm looking
for different answers.
Anyone else have an answer?
Joe Diametti (05:28):
They got put in a power of the different towns?
Isaac Allen Burns (05:34):
Okay. That's closer. That's good. Good. Good
one.
Yes. That was that's very close.Now who could tell me the name
of that power? Anybody?
Rowan Collins (05:44):
The peacekeeper?
Isaac Allen Burns (05:45):
What was that? Speak up a little,
pistachio.
Rowan Collins (05:47):
Oh, the peacekeepers?
Isaac Allen Burns (05:49):
Very good, pistachio. Yes. He writes on the
board peacekeepers and says,once the war ended, and there
was really no need for a strongarmy to be defending, from
multiple fronts, from having tobe all over, rather than simply
keeping them in bases andtraining them as, you know, many
(06:12):
of the conscripts wanted to stayin the army, they instead
decided to set up a domesticprevention. Right? A domestic
protection force.
The peacekeepers, which we dohave some here in Bracken Road,
I'm sure you've seen them,Lieutenant Cantor and his men.
Their main purpose is to protectthe town from threats and to
(06:34):
make sure that, everyone isfeeling safe, feeling good, and
making sure everyone, feels asense of national pride in Vol
Day. Right?
Rowan Collins (06:45):
They also take a small portion of whatever we
make and say that it's calledtaxes.
Isaac Allen Burns (06:52):
You see that he gets a little uncomfortable
and says, well, not directly.Yes. Do you have a question back
there?
Joe Diametti (06:58):
Yeah. My my I heard my dad say that they were
a bunch of freeloaders thatdon't really have any business
being in the town. Is that true,mister Toulouse? Well
Rowan Collins (07:09):
Oh, my dad says that too.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:11):
Okay. Well, settle down, children. Settle
down. There are a lot ofopinions about the peacekeepers.
There are the you know, this is,you know, this is perhaps a
little too complicated of atopic to get too deep into with
the younger ones, but it justyou know, I'm all about
learning.
Many people think that perhapsthey, are a little too forceful
(07:32):
of a hand in the various towns.
Rowan Collins (07:34):
My mom says they don't have a forceful enough
hand.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:37):
Well and that's the other side of the
topic.
Joe Diametti (07:40):
Mister Toulouse? Yes? What do you think about the
peacekeepers?
Isaac Allen Burns (07:44):
Oh, well, what I think is it really
important, children? I'm justtrying to spread the facts.
Rowan Collins (07:49):
Do you think they're sexy in uniforms? That's
what I heard my mom say.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:53):
Well,
Joe Diametti (07:54):
that's what I heard my dad say.
Rowan Collins (07:56):
Oh, see? I guess their uniforms must be very
sexy.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:59):
Oh, dude.
Annie Hawthorne (08:00):
What does sexy mean?
Rowan Collins (08:01):
Sexy means attractive in a way that makes
you wanna diddle with
Isaac Allen Burns (08:05):
them. Alright. Alright. Okay,
everybody. Settle down.
We cut back in time. We cutforward. And, sure enough, the 3
of you have just finished amission. It's a bit of a boring
mission. And this comes to mindbecause as you're entering back
into the town, you know, this isa town that has a small wooden
fence surrounding it.
Right? A wall, if you will. I'musing air quotes, a wall. And
(08:27):
you see that today there is apair of peacekeepers outside of
the gates. They don't oftenstand there, but when they're
actually working, you can alwaysfind a pair of them standing
outside the gates.
They nod to you as you enter in.And as you head back to the
city, let's set the scenetogether for a second. So first
and foremost, Crank, or ratherAnnie, where does your trio
(08:49):
typically go after a mission?When you finished for the day,
you've done all your hard work,you're looking to settle down,
relax, where do you all oftengo?
Annie Hawthorne (08:57):
I think that Crank tries to get everyone to
go to the library, but nobodywill ever go to the library. So
I think we just go to whereverpeople drink in this town.
Isaac Allen Burns (09:11):
Oh, very good. You yeah. You go to the
younger, hipper drinking hole inthe town, which is the Aphid
Tavern. It's on the western sideof town. It is a little more
trendy.
It's a little more modern, youknow. It's kinda got that open
that open concept where you can,like, see the girders, and
there's bricks and all.
Joe Diametti (09:32):
Oh, exposed brick? Exposed brick. Yeah. Diseconomy?
Yeah.
Wow.
Isaac Allen Burns (09:36):
Oh, yeah. Y'all, the Afid Afid tavern,
real modern. You know, the youngpeople love Afid tavern. And,
Cabbie, it's been pretty boring,I would say. It's been a boring
mission.
In fact, what was the missiony'all just completed that you
finished up for the day now?
Joe Diametti (09:51):
I think it was sold to us that we were going to
be dealing with some filth thatwas causing trouble. Oh. And
when we got there, we found outit was clearing a dump of trash
and manure for an elderlyperson.
Isaac Allen Burns (10:10):
Oh, no. Yeah. The the definition of filth was,
used to their advantage on thisone. In fact, as you come in,
y'all are kinda stinky.
Annie Hawthorne (10:20):
Y'all
Isaac Allen Burns (10:20):
are kinda stinky. And finally, Pistachio,
to finally to set the finalscene here, did the mission go
well, or did it go poorly?
Rowan Collins (10:29):
I think for Pistachio, it went well because
they met made a lot of newfriends. And by that, I meant
they talked to a lot of ratsthat helped them clean. But if
you ask the elderly person whois apparently terrified of rats,
maybe not so
Joe Diametti (10:46):
much. I did think it was weird when I turned
around and you were just kinda,like, orchestrating them to
carry a bag altogether, like,ants.
Rowan Collins (10:54):
Well, not like ants. We're like a team that
works together. Right? They,like, they wanna work together.
They're all friends.
They're family.
Annie Hawthorne (11:03):
They're
Joe Diametti (11:04):
ants are friends?
Rowan Collins (11:05):
The ants are also friends.
Annie Hawthorne (11:07):
Are the
Joe Diametti (11:07):
ants friends like we're friends?
Rowan Collins (11:09):
No. Nobody could be friends like we're friends,
Kathy.
Joe Diametti (11:12):
Yeah. I need a drink.
Rowan Collins (11:16):
Oh, I would love a drink.
Isaac Allen Burns (11:17):
As you enter in, sure enough, your table is,
of course, open, and you seethat behind the bar is a
bartender polishing a glass thatthat lets you know who the
bartender is if they'repolishing the glass. This one's
no different. The bartender hereis this young fawn with kinda
yellow tinged fur, named Miles.And as you step in, he nods to
to to the 3 of you, points at atable in the corner. It's your
(11:42):
table.
You always go there. And helooks over and all he says, just
the usual today?
Rowan Collins (11:48):
Well, yes, Miles. I will love the usual. You know,
please put the ice in the milkso that it, like, kinda floats
to the top. I don't like it whenit's all the way stuck on the
bottom because then it's kindafrost to the glass a little bit.
I like it when there's a littlebit of space.
You know how I like it.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:02):
I know how you like it, mister Tachio.
Joe Diametti (12:04):
Yes, Miles. The usual. And by usual, we mean a
glass of milk, a tin can of oil,and just a beer. The reason we
come here, he says as he looksat both of Crank and pistachio.
Annie Hawthorne (12:16):
Do you happen to have the premium machine oil
today?
Isaac Allen Burns (12:19):
You know, after you asked me the last
time, I did go and get some justfor you, Frank. So, you know, I
I
Annie Hawthorne (12:24):
like I appreciate that. I'll bring you
pastries tomorrow.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:27):
Oh, pay oh, you did say that you do grab
pastries. Yeah. I'll take someI'll get on the pastry train.
I'll get on that. Yeah.
Alright. One milk with half iceand one beer and a premium can
of oil coming right up. Y'alljust take a seat. I'll be right
there.
Rowan Collins (12:42):
Do you have the deli straws today?
Isaac Allen Burns (12:44):
I have one that I kept to the side just for
you. I treat my customers right.
Rowan Collins (12:48):
Miles, you're my favorite.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:50):
Miles disappears behind the kitchen,
and soon, the 3 of you aresitting at your favorite table
with your favorite drinks. So 3of you are sitting there. Who's
got their back to the door?
Joe Diametti (13:01):
I do, probably.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:03):
Awesome. Kevin, because you have your
back to the door, that means youcan see the bar. And sitting at
the bar is 2 peacekeepers. Youcan tell they're peacekeepers
because of their uniforms. Theyhave this red jacket.
It's a nice red jacket foldedreally nicely. It has gold
tinged edges and lapels. Notactual gold. That would be
really expensive, but just likegold colored. Right?
(13:25):
Underneath, they've got a whiteshirt that has been ironed and
pressed together. And the thingyou notice, first of all, Kathy,
you don't recognize thesepeople. They look a lot younger
than the others, and you'venoticed that they keep looking
over at your table. They'retrying to be really discreet
about it, but you see every sooften one of them just kind of
looks over and then kind oflooks back.
Joe Diametti (13:45):
Hey. Hey. Everyone be cool. Mhmm. Don't make it
obvious that you see those guysover at the bar?
The peacekeepers?
Annie Hawthorne (13:55):
I just turn around completely.
Rowan Collins (13:57):
Pistachio whoops there.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:58):
Oh god.
Joe Diametti (13:59):
Hi. I can
Isaac Allen Burns (14:00):
see if they notice. They notice.
Rowan Collins (14:04):
We wave. Hi.
Isaac Allen Burns (14:06):
Oh. You see that they look at each other and
then
Rowan Collins (14:08):
they look
Isaac Allen Burns (14:09):
at you?
Joe Diametti (14:09):
Hello. I I wave at them and openly say, hi. Yes.
You too. If you wanna buy us adrink, I like the beer.
This one likes milk, and thisone likes, and I can't make this
clear, premium oil. So I suggestyou either buy us the drinks or
turn around.
Isaac Allen Burns (14:26):
They look at each other, and you can tell
that they're, like, a littlenervous, and they walk over to
your table. You see hang on onesecond. I don't wanna make them
dwarves because I've used a lotof dwarves, but I'm trying to
find
Rowan Collins (14:40):
Can they also be firebolgs?
Isaac Allen Burns (14:43):
You know what? Sure. Why not? You see
furbolgs? They're 2 furbolgs.
Young furbolgs. About your age,Kathy. One of them has sort of,
like, skin that's more blue thanyours, and she's got blonde hair
that's tied back in a reallytight bun. The other one is a
young dude, kind of darker, likecloser to blacker, and he's got
(15:06):
these green eyes that are reallygreen. And they walk over, the
one of them, the one with greeneyes walks up and says, hey.
Sorry. I didn't mean to disturbyou guys. How we I'm really
sorry. We can't afford expensivedrinks. I'm really sorry.
Joe Diametti (15:22):
Wait. You are you what are what are these coats?
Are you not peacekeepers?
Isaac Allen Burns (15:26):
Well, we so we we're new recruits. We joined
we actually got here 2 days ago.We're still trying to learn the
place, and we heard that you'rethe adventurers. You're in the
adventuring guild, and we'rekinda wondering if you you kinda
help us out on kinda figuringout where things are. Do do you
have, like, a quick second?
(15:47):
Can we can we just ask you acouple questions?
Annie Hawthorne (15:49):
I'm just gonna, like, hold my giant hand out and
say, I'm Craig. What's yourname?
Isaac Allen Burns (15:52):
Hi, Craig. The one with green eyes shakes
her hand and says, my name is,Stefano.
Annie Hawthorne (15:58):
Stefano. I don't think that's a food.
Rowan Collins (16:00):
No. That's not a food. At least I don't think it
is a food. Hi. I'm pistachio.
I've been here my whole life.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:06):
Oh, hi. Stefano, nice to meet you. That
is a food.
Rowan Collins (16:11):
That is a food. For food? Yes. But I can't eat
that food. Craig likes givingfood to people.
Annie Hawthorne (16:16):
Yeah. I look at the other one. What's your name?
Isaac Allen Burns (16:18):
She looks at you and says, my name is Nepany.
Annie Hawthorne (16:22):
Oh, I don't think that's a food either. I
don't
Isaac Allen Burns (16:23):
think that's a food either. I wasn't named
after
Annie Hawthorne (16:26):
a food. Your favorite food?
Isaac Allen Burns (16:27):
Well, it's so okay. There's this place Hi.
Joe Diametti (16:31):
And the Hi. Nepany. Hi. How are you? I'm I'm
Kapi.
I'm kind of the leader at theAdventurers Guild. I would love
to answer your questions.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:44):
Oh, okay. She looks at Stefano, who looks at
you and says, there was a reportof do you know what an asset
borrower is?
Rowan Collins (16:53):
Do you know what an asset borrower
Joe Diametti (16:54):
is? Well, Stephanie, I am actually quite
familiar with asset borrowers.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:00):
Oh, okay. Can you give me some information?
Like, what are they? Do theywhat do they do?
Annie Hawthorne (17:05):
Well, they borrow. Okay. Well, yeah. And
they also have acid.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:09):
Okay.
Rowan Collins (17:09):
And they're big.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:11):
They're big? Like, how big? Are you, like, a
horse big or a building big?
Rowan Collins (17:15):
I squint at crank, like, 4 cranks big.
Joe Diametti (17:19):
Oh, what?
Isaac Allen Burns (17:20):
That's really big.
Annie Hawthorne (17:22):
That was really big.
Rowan Collins (17:23):
But, like, stacked on top of each other
like a cube. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:27):
Okay.
Rowan Collins (17:27):
Like like, 2 cranks wide and 2 cranks tall.
Four cranks.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:33):
That's really big. Yeah. They said it was
gonna be big, but that's biggerthan I was thinking.
Rowan Collins (17:37):
Yeah. They're pretty big.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:39):
Have you have you seen them around these parts
before? They said it was sort ofa rare occurrence that it hasn't
really come around here before.
Rowan Collins (17:46):
I haven't.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:47):
Mm-mm. So okay. Do you also I have another
question. Do you know where thenorthern northern logging camp
is? Because we've looked aroundand we can't find is it outside
the city?
It's
Annie Hawthorne (17:59):
to the north.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:01):
Well, yeah. Well, that's where we looked,
but we didn't know if we neededto leave the city. They told us
to, like, patrol the city, andso we didn't know if we needed
to go north or not.
Annie Hawthorne (18:09):
Well, see, if you go to the center of town and
then you go north and then youkeep going north, then then
you'll get to the north.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:15):
So it's outside the city?
Rowan Collins (18:16):
It is outside the city. Yes. You just
Joe Diametti (18:18):
Frank, you gotta be nice. These these
peacekeepers, you know, theythey get them very young, very
uneducated.
Annie Hawthorne (18:24):
Am I not being nice? I
Isaac Allen Burns (18:25):
I'm trying
Annie Hawthorne (18:25):
to give them directions.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:28):
Do we have a pro he looks at you. Do we have
a problem, dude? I'm so I didn'tI didn't think we did anything
to you. Did you do something
Annie Hawthorne (18:33):
to me? When he doesn't have his his, Apple
Fritter. Just ignore him.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:36):
It is true.
Rowan Collins (18:37):
Well, the Apple Fritter store is closed right
now. So cap, he can't get his
Isaac Allen Burns (18:41):
Apple Fritter. The bakery is closed
today?
Rowan Collins (18:43):
Yes. Well, just now because they're cleaning for
the Apple Festival. Oh. He's sadhe's not gonna see Scarlet.
Joe Diametti (18:50):
No. What I'm sad about is that everybody has a
choice to either join anadventuring guild, a noble
cause, some would say, or thesoulless with benefits package
red coat peacekeepers.
Rowan Collins (19:06):
On the plus side, it does look very good on you. I
can see That is a good color.Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:10):
Thank you.
Rowan Collins (19:11):
Yeah. You both look very trim in your outfits.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:13):
Listen, I didn't wanna be thank you. I
appreciate that.
Rowan Collins (19:16):
You're welcome.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:17):
My my dad was in the military, so I wanted to
follow in his steps. And I helooks at you, Kathy says, and I
didn't wanna be just a discountmercenary.
Joe Diametti (19:25):
Kathy rolls his eyes so hard.
Rowan Collins (19:28):
I don't I'm not a discount mercenary.
Annie Hawthorne (19:31):
I'm actually retired from the military. So
Isaac Allen Burns (19:33):
You fought in the war?
Annie Hawthorne (19:34):
You're military? Yeah. I mean, kinda
what I was built for.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:39):
He looks at you for a second and you see
some suspicion come on his eyes,and he says, I feel like I heard
that a lot of clanks fought forJustine. Did you fight for
Justine?
Rowan Collins (19:48):
That's an irrelevant question.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:50):
Really sorry to bother all of you. We'll just
get out of your way.
Joe Diametti (19:52):
What business do you have out at the logging
camp?
Isaac Allen Burns (19:56):
Well, so, apparently, there is an acid
borrower causing problems in thenorthern logging camp. So the
foreman sent something in for usto take care of. We know she
kinda leans in and says, we wekind of gathered that this is a
job that all of you typicallydo. So I don't I just got here.
(20:17):
I don't know all the specifics,but I just really wanna start
off on a good foot.
So I'm sorry. And I hope that wecan, you know, maybe work
together sometime. Maybe we canhelp each other out. Out.
Rowan Collins (20:27):
Well, I look at Kathy or and go, maybe we could
show the where the launch is andmaybe, you know Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne (20:38):
And our super error sounds more exciting than
picking up trash.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:44):
You know, we're
Joe Diametti (20:45):
Fine.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:45):
We're really not supposed to get civilians
involved. But since you areadventures We're
Annie Hawthorne (20:49):
We're not civilians? Yeah.
Joe Diametti (20:50):
We're not civilians.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:51):
Yeah. No. You have a chance to be
Annie Hawthorne (20:53):
a civilian.
Joe Diametti (20:54):
You're an adventure, mister Patio.
Rowan Collins (20:56):
Right. I'm no longer a harbor.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:58):
Oh, you work, you work with the Apples? You
have Apples?
Rowan Collins (21:01):
Oh, no. I I were my family owns the Dutch farm.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:06):
Oh, that's the troops.
Rowan Collins (21:08):
Yeah. Yeah. You've been here looking up that
you know the troops.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:12):
Well, we met, we met Hazel.
Rowan Collins (21:16):
Oh, you've met my sister? Yeah. You've met twin
sister. Don't we look the same?
Isaac Allen Burns (21:20):
Oh, like fraternal twins. Right?
Rowan Collins (21:22):
No. We're identical twins.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:26):
Oh.
Rowan Collins (21:27):
Yeah. We look exactly the same. If you looked
us right next to each other, youcould totally tell, like, we
were the same shared the samewomb.
Joe Diametti (21:37):
Stephanie, you're in luck. I have a couple
questions. First off, what iswhat is what is what is this
relationship here between youand Nathaniel? What's your name?
Nathaniel.
Name's
Isaac Allen Burns (21:49):
Nathaniel. He says, annoyed. And she says,
well, we were transferred herethe same, and so we're on patrol
together.
Rowan Collins (21:56):
Are you asking if they're dating?
Joe Diametti (21:58):
I just like to know who I have to work with,
Pistachio. And he says that ashe is just only addressing
Nefani. Oh my god. So, Nefani,here's what we're gonna do.
Lucky for you, you have the mostskilled adventure, maybe for
(22:18):
Miles, you have a robot that Iliterally saw murdering eelgater
in cold blood.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:26):
And You have eelgaters around these parts?
Rowan Collins (22:29):
Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne (22:29):
They're in the river. They eat turnips.
Rowan Collins (22:31):
They are, in fact, cold blooded. So Kapi is
not just being, you know,descriptive, but also factual.
Joe Diametti (22:39):
And we even have a pistachio.
Rowan Collins (22:42):
Bee. That's b.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:44):
Okay. We really just needed directions to
the logging factory.
Rowan Collins (22:47):
Oh, I
Annie Hawthorne (22:47):
told you it's north.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:48):
That's not okay.
Joe Diametti (22:50):
I'm a little worried if you can't follow the
directions north.
Rowan Collins (22:53):
Well, we could go for you.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:55):
Do I have a way
Joe Diametti (22:56):
to, like, see other intentions? Like
Isaac Allen Burns (23:00):
Yeah. Do a we're gonna call this an
instinct check. So go ahead androll 2 d 12 and add your
instinct modifier.
Joe Diametti (23:08):
Alright. My instinct is a plus 0. Crit,
baby.
Rowan Collins (23:14):
Yo. That's so nice.
Isaac Allen Burns (23:15):
No way.
Rowan Collins (23:16):
Double twos.
Isaac Allen Burns (23:18):
Okay. Yeah. What are you specifically
looking for, would you say,Kapi, out of these 2?
Joe Diametti (23:23):
I guess I'm I'm trying to figure out what the
bit is, you know? Like, are theylike, do they want help, or are
they asking for instructions, oris there malicious intent, or
Isaac Allen Burns (23:33):
So you get as you're reading the situation,
Kathy, you see something. Whatyou see in Stefano is someone
trying to prove something, whichI hate that. You can recognize
really easily. You can recognizereally easily. This guy
definitely has, like, a chip onhis shoulder.
He's trying to, like, provehimself.
Joe Diametti (23:51):
Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns (23:52):
You can see that Nepany is just trying to
get the job done. And what youcan clearly see is, Stefano did
not wanna talk to y'all, and isunhappy about the idea of y'all
coming. And Nepany started outjust by asking directions, and
just trying to navigate howcomplicated it's gonna be if
y'all come along to help outtake out this asset borrower. If
(24:14):
they're gonna get in trouble forit, or if y'all get hurt, what's
gonna happen? She's basicallytrying to piece together like,
how complicated this would be,but understands if something is
4 crank tall, then it, yeah, itmight be tough to take on by
themselves.
Perfect.
Joe Diametti (24:31):
Then I would like Kapi, what do we think, guys? Do
we, like, sit Nathaniel out? Canyou tell him to sit this one
out? I think he's kind ofbothering us. Not very cool.
Rowan Collins (24:45):
Is it because you wanna put the boobs on Nessie?
Annie Hawthorne (24:48):
I'm confused. I thought you liked Scarlet, and
now you like this person?
Joe Diametti (24:52):
What do you mean? I don't like Scarlet. What do
you that's
Isaac Allen Burns (24:56):
I think
Rowan Collins (24:56):
you can't keep your heart from singing.
Joe Diametti (25:00):
Oh, pistachio. Crank. I guess when it comes to
the matters of love, things canbe complicated. Right? You know,
maybe me and Scarlet had ahistory, but we're on different
paths right now.
So, you know, who am I to turnaway a long haired furball that
(25:21):
needs our help, if anything?
Rowan Collins (25:23):
Who looks good in uniform? Who They like, their
eyebrows go up and down as theystare at you.
Joe Diametti (25:30):
Alright, pistachio. Be cool.
Rowan Collins (25:31):
Oh, right. Right. Right. Nathaniel, could I get
you a milk?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:36):
I'm lactose intolerant.
Joe Diametti (25:37):
Of course, you are.
Rowan Collins (25:38):
Can I get you a cider?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:40):
I'm not supposed to drink on the job. Oh
my god.
Joe Diametti (25:42):
Alright. Can we get you to go sit at the bar and
wait for us to get back? Thatway, if your lieutenant listen.
If your lieutenant needs youguys and needs to make sure
there's one of you in the town,I don't wanna rob him of that. I
know how I don't wanna rob youof the chance to lick anyone's
boots, really, is what
Rowan Collins (25:59):
You lick boots?
Annie Hawthorne (26:02):
Sounds unsanitary.
Rowan Collins (26:04):
It is disgusting. Roll
Joe Diametti (26:07):
a,
Isaac Allen Burns (26:08):
roll a presence check to attempt to
persuade this person. The DC forthis was, like, an an 11, and
then you said lick their boots,so now it's a 14.
Joe Diametti (26:19):
Okay. My presence is a plus 1.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:21):
Oh, okay. That's pretty good.
Joe Diametti (26:23):
That is a 14 with hope.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:27):
No. I don't know.
Rowan Collins (26:28):
Okay. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:29):
So, Kapi, Joe, you you Oh, wait. No.
Joe Diametti (26:31):
I lied. It's a 15.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:33):
A 15?
Joe Diametti (26:33):
Because I forgot about my plus 1. It's a 15 with
hope.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:35):
A 15 with hope. That beats the DC. And I
get a
Joe Diametti (26:38):
hope from that.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:39):
You get a hope from that. That's true. And
so this is a success with hope,which means that it's a pretty
good result. You see that he,Stefano, he's got his arms
crossed, kinda looks you up anddown. And you see because of
that critical you rolledearlier, I'll say that can
continue.
You gotta have a read on thisguy. This guy cuts you a look,
(26:59):
looks you up and down, and thethought goes through his mind.
Well, if they go on ahead andthis asset borrower is too much
for them, I could come in andsave them. So he nods and says,
alright. If you're sure, I'llhang out here in case the
lieutenant comes around.
And he sort of looks at Nefaniewho says, Stefania, are you sure
(27:21):
that's good? Stefania said, no.Yeah. This is great. He goes to
sit at the bar and does thatthing where you, like, put your
elbows on the bar, and you'relooking out at it.
Rowan Collins (27:30):
Miles could hook you up with some kind of good
food. Everything is good here.They, like, have the best, apple
chips if you want them. You canput it on my tab.
Isaac Allen Burns (27:42):
He, gets very interested when you say that and
says, I'll make sure to do that.Yeah.
Rowan Collins (27:47):
Miles, please make sure he doesn't bake for
me.
Isaac Allen Burns (27:51):
See, Miles, who's been watching this this
whole time, which is like alittle bit of an awkward smile
on his face, nods at you andsays, hey, I I do what I can for
my best customers. You got it.
Rowan Collins (28:01):
Thank you Miles. Appreciate you.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:04):
And as the 4 of you leave, you see that there
is a young boy running up to the4 of you. He's got, like, a
little cap and little overalls,suspend like, a little jean
overalls, like a white shirt.Classic like Dickensian child.
And as he runs up to the 4 ofyou, he yells, parcel, parcel
(28:24):
for you, crank. He holds out aletter and says, parcel for you.
Annie Hawthorne (28:30):
Oh, I never get mail.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:32):
Mail for you from Roseanne, the librarian.
Annie Hawthorne (28:37):
Oh, it's from it's from my mom. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:41):
That's right. One parcel to the tall robot who
wears a hat.
Annie Hawthorne (28:46):
Alright. Take it. I open it up immediately.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:48):
Open it up immediately, and it's a little
note that reads, dear Crank, MAis a heart. I have very exciting
news for you, exclamation point,smiley face. A package just came
in for you. Come to the librarywhenever you get a chance today.
And it says, love, Roseanne.
And then in parentheses, itsays, mom. You see the little
(29:11):
kid is holding out his hand toyou, palm up.
Annie Hawthorne (29:14):
Oh, right. I fish out a silver piece, I
guess. I don't know.
Isaac Allen Burns (29:19):
He, he takes it and looks at it and says, all
these mises. And then he kicks arock and then runs off. He has
other parcels to do.
Annie Hawthorne (29:27):
Well, I'm on a pension. I don't have all the
money in the world.
Rowan Collins (29:30):
Do you want a bag of nuts?
Isaac Allen Burns (29:32):
He turns around and runs back and says,
you say a bag of nuts?
Rowan Collins (29:35):
Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (29:35):
I'll take a bag of nuts.
Rowan Collins (29:37):
Alright. I write down the group family farm
address and go, I'll give thisto my mom. I can't touch them
because I would explode inrashes, but you get one bag of
nuts on me.
Isaac Allen Burns (29:47):
He takes it and looks at it and says, this
ain't a bag of nuts.
Rowan Collins (29:50):
No. That's not a dress to where you get a bag of
nuts.
Isaac Allen Burns (29:53):
Are you asking me to deliver a parcel?
Rowan Collins (29:55):
No. What's your name?
Isaac Allen Burns (29:57):
Morning? Yeah. No one's asked what my
name is before. My name'sPostmate.
Rowan Collins (30:05):
Postmate?
Isaac Allen Burns (30:06):
That's right.
Rowan Collins (30:07):
Like like
Isaac Allen Burns (30:09):
b o s m a, Postmate. Postmate. That's
right. I'm starting a businesswhere I'll deliver things to the
people who need them. I'lldeliver parcels.
I'll deliver food. I'll justsign the contract with the
bakery in town to deliver foodto people once they open after
all day cleaning they doing.
Rowan Collins (30:30):
Oh, that's fantastic.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:32):
That's right.
Rowan Collins (30:33):
But I feel like he's still your gig, Craig.
Mhmm.
Annie Hawthorne (30:38):
I also like to deliver people food.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:39):
Oh, you deliver food too? Are you
telling me that you had a cornerof the market that you
monopolized, and now I'mstepping into your market?
Annie Hawthorne (30:49):
Well, technically, I don't charge to
deliver food, so there's nomarket What? To speak of.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:54):
You're trying to murder the market right now.
I can't compete with free. Howare we supposed to improve the
free hand of the market with badcompetition like this? There's a
word for this that I'm a come upwith and get real famous for
talking about later once Ifigure out how money works.
Joe Diametti (31:14):
Scram, kid.
Isaac Allen Burns (31:15):
That's not my name. My name's Postmate.
Rowan Collins (31:18):
Thank you, Postmate.
Isaac Allen Burns (31:19):
You're welcome. I'll eat points at
Ukraine and says, I'll neverforget you. We're gone. We're
gonna fight to the bitter end,and then only one of us is gonna
stand on top of the deliveryservice mountain. And it's gonna
be me.
Annie Hawthorne (31:32):
Oh, okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (31:32):
He runs off.
Joe Diametti (31:34):
Frank, do you have a new arch nemesis?
Rowan Collins (31:36):
I I
Annie Hawthorne (31:37):
don't know. Is that what that was?
Joe Diametti (31:38):
I think that's what that was.
Annie Hawthorne (31:40):
I just give people food because people like
food.
Joe Diametti (31:42):
Mhmm. Well, so what what what's the note say?
Annie Hawthorne (31:46):
Oh, there's a package at the library for me.
Isaac Allen Burns (31:49):
You see, Nephanie, looks at the 3 of you
and says, if you need to takecare of that, I can just go
wait, on the northern gate foryou to come by. I need to kinda
patrol the town anyway, so Ifigured I'd give it one last
look and then we can, you know,meet there.
Annie Hawthorne (32:02):
Oh, let's let's pick a pit stop by the library
and get that package.
Isaac Allen Burns (32:05):
Okay. Yeah. I'll meet you at the northern
gate. And she walks off.
Annie Hawthorne (32:09):
Yeah. You know, I never did under, hear what her
favorite food is. Mhmm. Yeah.How how do I know what to get
her for her birthday?
Rowan Collins (32:18):
Wait. Are you giving people things because
it's their birthday?
Annie Hawthorne (32:21):
Well, birthdays you give people things. I mean,
I give people things anytime,but birthdays seem like a good
Rowan Collins (32:26):
Yeah. I mean, yeah. But I was just concerned
that you thought every day wassomebody's birthday.
Annie Hawthorne (32:30):
Well, every day is somebody's birthday.
Rowan Collins (32:32):
But, like, not the same person's birthday.
Like, it's a special day.
Annie Hawthorne (32:35):
Oh, no.
Rowan Collins (32:36):
Like like, mine is always, like it's, like, 3
weeks away.
Annie Hawthorne (32:40):
Do you think that I should only give people
things on their birthday?
Rowan Collins (32:43):
Oh, no. Absolutely not. I love the fact
that you give gifts all thetime. It's like bringing the
little ray of sunshine intoeverybody's life.
Annie Hawthorne (32:51):
Well, that's good. I'm glad it seemed that
way.
Joe Diametti (32:53):
We need to get you guys meaner. Craig, I wouldn't
worry. I don't think Nephenny isgonna be still be around on her
birthday.
Annie Hawthorne (33:02):
We don't even know when her birthday is.
Rowan Collins (33:04):
Hey, Nathaniel. When's Stephanie's birthday?
Isaac Allen Burns (33:07):
You walk back inside the bar, and you see,
Nathaniel is there. He's got,like, a big plate of nachos, and
he turns around and shrugs. Idon't know.
Rowan Collins (33:16):
Archie will have her partner. Oh, okay. Okay. And
you don't know everything abouther yet?
Isaac Allen Burns (33:21):
Why would I?
Rowan Collins (33:22):
Because you're her partner. You work with her.
Isaac Allen Burns (33:25):
Coworkers.
Rowan Collins (33:25):
But you feel like
Isaac Allen Burns (33:26):
Do you think just everyone who works together
is just best friends?
Rowan Collins (33:29):
I mean, that's how it worked for me.
Joe Diametti (33:31):
Pistachio.
Rowan Collins (33:32):
Oh, Tommy, boss. How big.
Isaac Allen Burns (33:34):
He, Stefano looks at you for a second, Kapi,
and just raises an eyebrow.
Joe Diametti (33:38):
Yeah. I ray he Kapi raises his eyebrow eyebrow
back. The problem is that inreal life, this is a guy I'd
have a problem with.
Isaac Allen Burns (33:48):
Yep. Yep. So I I Kapi takes It's a where kid.
Joe Diametti (33:52):
Kapi takes pistachio over the shoulder and
is, like, listen. Are you underthe impression no. He actually
gets down to pistachio's level.Okay. Listen.
Listen, kiddo. Yes. I'm worriedthat you're getting a little
attached to Crank and I.
Rowan Collins (34:07):
Well, yeah. Of course. I You're my best friends
Annie Hawthorne (34:11):
Oh.
Rowan Collins (34:11):
And you're my boss.
Joe Diametti (34:12):
Yeah. And while that is so sweet, I really just
wanna stress how dangerous thatthat could be to get close to
people like me or the robotthat's eyes turn red and kill
things. I just I've been doingthis for a while, and, the
(34:33):
attachment, it just doesn'twork. It doesn't work. You
Rowan Collins (34:36):
know? Why?
Joe Diametti (34:37):
So that's why we are going to stop by the
library.
Rowan Collins (34:40):
Mhmm.
Joe Diametti (34:41):
Get Crank's package.
Rowan Collins (34:42):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (34:43):
I can't wait to meet Crank's mom.
Rowan Collins (34:44):
Uh-huh. You know, the whole stay attached thing.
Yes.
Joe Diametti (34:48):
We're going to go north to the logging cabin.
Rowan Collins (34:51):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (34:52):
We're going to help do whatever there and
subsequently help Nepany.
Rowan Collins (34:57):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (34:58):
You guys are going to go home.
Rowan Collins (35:00):
Right.
Joe Diametti (35:00):
I'm going to give Nephe a tour of the adventures
guild
Rowan Collins (35:03):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (35:04):
And she'll be gone by the morning
Rowan Collins (35:06):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (35:06):
Much like we'll all be gone one day.
Rowan Collins (35:09):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (35:09):
Okay, kiddo. Alright.
Annie Hawthorne (35:11):
Craig, library? Library.
Joe Diametti (35:13):
Library.
Rowan Collins (35:14):
So what I got from that is to invite everybody
to a sleepover.
Annie Hawthorne (35:18):
I would love to go to a sleepover.
Rowan Collins (35:19):
Would you like to come over? I'd love to introduce
you to my mom after we meet yourmom.
Annie Hawthorne (35:24):
Absolutely. This sounds like great fun.
Isaac Allen Burns (35:26):
That's so cute. I love that. The 3 of you
make your way to the library,weaving through town as you see
townsfolk around putting updecorations, doing some painting
on the buildings to make themlook really nice and pop. You
see apples, dried apples. Yousee all kinds of decorations
that you would expect for anApple Festival.
And eventually, you get to abuilding that just has, like, a
(35:49):
string of paper apples just overthe entryway. That is the
library, and it is currentlyunlocked.
Rowan Collins (35:56):
Oh, gosh. I haven't been to the library in a
long time. Probably, like, a fewyears since I was at school. Oh.
Joe Diametti (36:03):
I was forced in once.
Rowan Collins (36:05):
Oh.
Joe Diametti (36:05):
It's literally nothing but books.
Annie Hawthorne (36:07):
I don't open the door and all.
Isaac Allen Burns (36:09):
You open the door to the library.
Annie Hawthorne (36:10):
Like, hi, mom. I got your letter.
Isaac Allen Burns (36:13):
You see, Roseanne is up on a staircase,
up on, like, one of thosestairs. Right? And it is, like,
putting a book a lie and seesyou. And her face just brightens
immediately. The other 2 of youwho probably haven't been to the
library before, or if you have,probably didn't notice who this
was, you see this elderly fawn.
We're talking, like, 200 yearsold. Right? Very old. Not old
(36:34):
enough to be like, you know,decrepit, but old enough that,
like, old. She's got wrinklesthat suggest a life of laughter
and smiles, and she's gotglasses that hang on the edge of
her nose.
There's those glasses that don'thave, like, the arms on either
side. They just sort of, like,squeezed at the end of her nose,
and she's got, like, that perm.She's got, like, a gray perm on
her head. And she comes overwearing, like, a pink cardigan
(36:55):
and just immediately, like,gives Crank a big hug and says,
oh, Crank, it's so good to seeyou again. I see you brought
your friends.
Annie Hawthorne (37:03):
Yes. It's been 6 whole hours since I was here.
Isaac Allen Burns (37:05):
Hey. No. You were just here earlier. Just
after you left, it came in. Butbut introduce me to your
friends.
Who are all of you?
Annie Hawthorne (37:12):
Oh, this is my very best friend in the world,
pistachio.
Rowan Collins (37:14):
Hi. I'm Pistachio. I'm Craig's best
friend, and you must be Craig'smom.
Isaac Allen Burns (37:19):
Oh, yes. I guess you could say that. Oh,
wonderful to meet you,Pistachio.
Rowan Collins (37:24):
Wonderful to meet you, Craig's mom. Can I also
call you mom? I mean, I guess Ihave a mom. Can I call you
Craig's mom?
Isaac Allen Burns (37:31):
Sure. Sure. If that's what you wanna call
me, that's fine.
Rowan Collins (37:35):
Cool. Thanks, Seebo. This is our boss.
Isaac Allen Burns (37:38):
And who's this cold drink of water?
Annie Hawthorne (37:40):
This is Cathy.
Isaac Allen Burns (37:41):
Oh, hello, handsome. Hello.
Joe Diametti (37:47):
I have so many questions. Oh, about your life
choices?
Isaac Allen Burns (37:54):
Well, this is a library. Unfortunately, there
are no books about old me. Mhmm.
Joe Diametti (37:59):
That's a shame because I could read it all
night.
Isaac Allen Burns (38:03):
Oh, you're such a charmer.
Rowan Collins (38:04):
Oh, Kapi's flirting with your bum.
Isaac Allen Burns (38:07):
I haven't gotten this.
Annie Hawthorne (38:09):
Are you gonna be my new dad?
Rowan Collins (38:11):
Oh, no.
Joe Diametti (38:14):
We'll see how the night goes, Crank.
Rowan Collins (38:15):
Oh, oh,
Isaac Allen Burns (38:16):
wait. I haven't gotten this much action
in a 100 years.
Rowan Collins (38:19):
We're gonna call Kathy c dad.
Joe Diametti (38:24):
I think Kathy just probably likes to flirt. I think
he either he I think he thinkshe has to do everything by
joking, intimidating, orflirting.
Isaac Allen Burns (38:33):
That's incredible. Oh my gosh. Yeah.
You know, Roseanne, loves it.It's just eating it up.
Just thinks you're so cute. Andshe kind of, squeezes your arm
prank and says, you wait righthere. I'll go get it. And she
goes into the back for a momentand then returns with a tome.
This is an old tome, and shesort of has trouble lifting it,
(38:57):
but slams it on the front deskand says, well, to be honest,
you've been reading a lot ofreally basic books about, magic
here, a couple of children'sbooks, and, you know, a lot of
books about maybe the history ofmagic as it relates to, what
were the
Joe Diametti (39:15):
names of the children's book? I was thinking
about it from the the othersession, and I Yeah. I wanna
know the names.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:22):
Let's all go in a circle and name a
children's book about magic,starting with Rowan. Ready? Go.
Rowan Collins (39:27):
1 wish, 2 ish, red wish, blue wish.
Joe Diametti (39:31):
Oh my god. Nailed it.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:33):
That's incredible. Okay. John I'll
Rowan Collins (39:34):
be here all night.
Joe Diametti (39:36):
Shit.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:37):
I'm writing these down.
Joe Diametti (39:40):
Wait a minute. Give a magic mouse a cookie.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:48):
Annie, give me give me another one.
Annie Hawthorne (39:50):
Where the Magic Things Are.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:53):
Alright then. My book is gonna be The Giving
Tree, but it's magic.
Joe Diametti (39:59):
Like in parentheses?
Isaac Allen Burns (40:00):
In parentheses, it says, but it's
magic. So anyways, Roseannelooks at you after naming all
those books and says, so andnone of those were really, you
know, magic books, but I calledin a favor at the capitol, the
Regulus Library, and they wereable to send me a book. It it I
(40:22):
sent it, you know, the first dayyou came here. So I'm sorry it's
taken 3 weeks to get here, butit finally did. I will say, I I
must tell you, it is it's like a4th edition.
Current I asked around, andcurrently, they're on the 10th
edition. So this is a littleolder, but a lot of the
foundational things in thereshould still be good. It's not
(40:45):
old enough to be an artifact ora relic or valuable in any ways,
but hopefully, this can helpyou. Hopefully, this can help.
Annie Hawthorne (40:54):
Oh, thank you so much, mom.
Isaac Allen Burns (40:55):
This is
Annie Hawthorne (40:55):
very nice of you. I'll bring you extra
pastries.
Rowan Collins (40:58):
Oh, oh,
Isaac Allen Burns (40:59):
just you coming every morning just makes
my day.
Rowan Collins (41:02):
Oh, do you like how carrying all those pastries,
Craig?
Annie Hawthorne (41:06):
I actually have a good bit of storage in here,
actually. It's several cubicfeet.
Rowan Collins (41:11):
Oh, okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (41:11):
It But
Annie Hawthorne (41:12):
thank you for offering.
Isaac Allen Burns (41:13):
Hey. Do you have storage inside yourself?
What where?
Annie Hawthorne (41:17):
Oh, yes. And I'll just, like, open up my
little chest cavity.
Isaac Allen Burns (41:21):
Oh, yes. It's
Annie Hawthorne (41:21):
hollow. And I'll take the book, and I'll put
it in there, and I'll just,like, shove it. You know?
Isaac Allen Burns (41:26):
Oh my.
Annie Hawthorne (41:27):
And then I'll close it.
Rowan Collins (41:28):
Well See? Wow.
Annie Hawthorne (41:30):
Look, mom. No
Rowan Collins (41:31):
hands. Oh, Craig, you're
Isaac Allen Burns (41:37):
so talented. Oh, dear. Well, do enjoy. I hope
it helps. Thanks for coming by.
I'm so glad you got my letter.The young man who came in here,
he was offering services todeliver parcels a few days ago,
and so I decided I'd, you know,maybe try it out.
Annie Hawthorne (41:55):
Yes. He seemed very upset when I told him I
just brought people food withoutcharging them money.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:00):
Oh, yes. He has a bit of an entrepreneurial
spirit, which means he's verycompetitive.
Rowan Collins (42:06):
He's Craig's mortal enemy.
Annie Hawthorne (42:08):
Oh. Supposedly. I don't really know what that
means. But
Isaac Allen Burns (42:11):
I remember my first mortal enemy.
Rowan Collins (42:13):
What were they like?
Isaac Allen Burns (42:15):
Her name was Sandra, and I buried that bitch
6 feet in the ground 75 yearsago. Holy I outlived her. I sure
did.
Rowan Collins (42:23):
Holy crap, Seetmob. That's badass.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:28):
Thank you. She smiles real wide. As, she
looks all of you smiling, yousee that she's about to open her
mouth to say something when youhear a window shatter across the
street, and you hear someshouting.
Rowan Collins (42:40):
Oh, uh-uh. Uh-oh.
Annie Hawthorne (42:41):
We gotta go check that out, guys. Thanks for
the book, mom.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:45):
Of course.
Annie Hawthorne (42:45):
I'll let you know what I learned.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:46):
I'll see you tomorrow.
Annie Hawthorne (42:48):
See you tomorrow.
Joe Diametti (42:49):
Kapi goes to run out the door, but then runs
back, kisses her hand, and thenruns out.
Rowan Collins (42:54):
Woah. Kapi's putting the boobs on.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:56):
He grabs
Joe Diametti (42:57):
pistachio as
Isaac Allen Burns (43:00):
What a charmer. She says as you bust
open the door, and as you stepout in the street, you see a
kerfuffle occurring. First thingyou notice, the building across
from you is missing a window.It's shattered onto the ground.
You see that there is a man,more specifically, a fawn
(43:20):
wearing a vest who's got someblood on his arms and a look in
his eyes that suggests he'srather inebriated right now.
And you see at the entrance tothe building is another fawn. A
fawn is pretty nondescript,except that he looks really mad.
You also see Nephenee currentlytrying to, like, pick up this
fawn. You see that the owner isjust yelling really angrily. And
(43:44):
as this, older Fawn is sort of,like, getting up, she's kinda
woozy.
He looks around. He looks atNephenee and, like, shoves her
and says, you're getting a testfor me out of this black
community. And he takes offrunning into the streets. You
see, Nephew kinda gets pushedback a little bit, and as you
look inside, you see that thereis a, couple of people kinda
(44:07):
hurt. Looks like a fight gotcaused inside this building,
And, Nephew, looks at the 3 ofyou with her eyes wide and says,
you go after him.
I'll take make sure everything'sokay in here.
Joe Diametti (44:16):
Oh. You got it. And then Kapi just takes off
running down the street.
Annie Hawthorne (44:20):
Oh, I I'm chasing this guy too.
Rowan Collins (44:22):
Can I not help here, Nefanie? I feel like my
legs don't go
Isaac Allen Burns (44:26):
Nope. I feel
Annie Hawthorne (44:26):
like that. Well,
Isaac Allen Burns (44:29):
the the 3 of you take off running. 2 of you
on purpose. 1 of youaccidentally. And guys, guess
what? That is where we will endthis episode of Dodo Borne.
Thanks for playing, and tip yourwaitress.
Rowan Collins (44:53):
Hey.
Isaac Allen Burns (44:54):
It's a podcast.
Hey, everybody. Welcome to this, an
episode of DodoBorne! It's me,the GM, Isaac Allan Burns. Oh,
we're feeling good. We'refeeling great. Dodo Born is an
actual play, Daggerheartpodcast, where the 4 of us are
gonna play the game created byDarrington Press, called
Daggerheart.
Sitting across from me rightnow, I've got Annie Hawthorne.
Annie Hawthorne (00:53):
Yo.
Isaac Allen Burns (00:54):
And across from Annie, I've got Rowan
Collins.
Rowan Collins (00:57):
Wait. Aren't you across from Annie?
Isaac Allen Burns (01:00):
And across from Rowan, I've got Joe
Diamatti.
Joe Diametti (01:02):
I have no idea where I am at this table.
Isaac Allen Burns (01:06):
I try to keep them on their toes. They never
know where's we're going next.
Rowan Collins (01:10):
I am on my butt.
Isaac Allen Burns (01:11):
I play 2 truths and one lie whenever I
introduce these people. It hasbeen one full week since we last
(02:25):
saw Althea. And I gotta say, onemore week since we last saw it,
and it looks better every singletime I see it. Althea is just a
beautiful place with theshimmering seas that surround
this island continent to itstall mountains, some of which
are snow capped to suggest thatthey're so very tall. Not tall
enough to be impassable, mindyou, but tall enough to be
(02:47):
majestic and awe inspiring.
Joe Diametti (02:50):
It feels like it's gonna come up later.
Isaac Allen Burns (02:51):
Maybe. Who knows? I gotta keep you on your
toes. Mhmm. You see, our 3heroes here are members of the
adventuring guild of BrackenRoad.
Brackenroad is a small farmingtown just outside the border of
Just Thane and Voldane. Theycurrently live on the Voldane
side. And on the other side ofthose tall mountains that stand
(03:12):
so majestically and inspiringjust outside the town is just
that, just on the other side ofit. It is 1 week until the Apple
Festival. That's right, the mostimportant event in Bracken Road.
And, Kapi, this year, much likeevery year, the missions have
kind of slowed down. Missionshave kind of been boring for the
(03:32):
whole week. Like you reallyreally peaked last week with
those eelgaters, but it's beenbeen really boring ever since.
And Kapi, you know why. You knowwhy that is.
And it's because because theApple Festival is coming about,
there's a certain group that'sgetting a lot more invested in
the town in order to keep upappearances. And you know who
(03:54):
that group is, Kapi. That groupis the Peacekeepers. Now, you
know, I could sit here and tellyou what the peacekeepers is,
but actually, I'm gonna dosomething different. We're gonna
learn who the peacekeepers aretogether through a flashback.
Pistachio, you were once inschool. Mhmm. Let's go back in
time 6 years ago to a classroom.Pistachio was sitting in a
classroom, and, Kapi, you neverwent to school, and Crank, you
(04:16):
weren't around then. So Joe andAnnie, you just get you can just
be like 2 other students in thisscene.
So just kinda, you know, playinto it when you feel necessary.
Pistachio, you are 6 yearsyounger than your real self, and
you're sitting in a classroom.And up at the front is your
history teacher, misterToulouse. He stands in front of
(04:37):
all of you, in front of ablackboard, and is looking out
at everyone and says, well, thatconcludes our section on the war
with Jastain, the war of Jastainrebellion. So as we all
remember, that will be on thequiz.
Now moving forward, I wanna talkabout some of the effects of
(04:57):
that war. Now who can tell mewhat happened to a majority of
the army once the war was ended?Anyone tell me.
Rowan Collins (05:08):
Oh, oh, oh.
Isaac Allen Burns (05:10):
Yes. You in the back.
Annie Hawthorne (05:11):
They died.
Isaac Allen Burns (05:12):
Oh, well, that maybe that many soldiers
did die in the war with Chastainrebellion. That is true. One of
the bloodiest wars on record.Not quite though. I'm looking
for different answers.
Anyone else have an answer?
Joe Diametti (05:28):
They got put in a power of the different towns?
Isaac Allen Burns (05:34):
Okay. That's closer. That's good. Good. Good
one.
Yes. That was that's very close.Now who could tell me the name
of that power? Anybody?
Rowan Collins (05:44):
The peacekeeper?
Isaac Allen Burns (05:45):
What was that? Speak up a little,
pistachio.
Rowan Collins (05:47):
Oh, the peacekeepers?
Isaac Allen Burns (05:49):
Very good, pistachio. Yes. He writes on the
board peacekeepers and says,once the war ended, and there
was really no need for a strongarmy to be defending, from
multiple fronts, from having tobe all over, rather than simply
keeping them in bases andtraining them as, you know, many
(06:12):
of the conscripts wanted to stayin the army, they instead
decided to set up a domesticprevention. Right? A domestic
protection force.
The peacekeepers, which we dohave some here in Bracken Road,
I'm sure you've seen them,Lieutenant Cantor and his men.
Their main purpose is to protectthe town from threats and to
(06:34):
make sure that, everyone isfeeling safe, feeling good, and
making sure everyone, feels asense of national pride in Vol
Day. Right?
Rowan Collins (06:45):
They also take a small portion of whatever we
make and say that it's calledtaxes.
Isaac Allen Burns (06:52):
You see that he gets a little uncomfortable
and says, well, not directly.Yes. Do you have a question back
there?
Joe Diametti (06:58):
Yeah. My my I heard my dad say that they were
a bunch of freeloaders thatdon't really have any business
being in the town. Is that true,mister Toulouse? Well
Rowan Collins (07:09):
Oh, my dad says that too.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:11):
Okay. Well, settle down, children. Settle
down. There are a lot ofopinions about the peacekeepers.
There are the you know, this is,you know, this is perhaps a
little too complicated of atopic to get too deep into with
the younger ones, but it justyou know, I'm all about
learning.
Many people think that perhapsthey, are a little too forceful
(07:32):
of a hand in the various towns.
Rowan Collins (07:34):
My mom says they don't have a forceful enough
hand.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:37):
Well and that's the other side of the
topic.
Joe Diametti (07:40):
Mister Toulouse? Yes? What do you think about the
peacekeepers?
Isaac Allen Burns (07:44):
Oh, well, what I think is it really
important, children? I'm justtrying to spread the facts.
Rowan Collins (07:49):
Do you think they're sexy in uniforms? That's
what I heard my mom say.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:53):
Well,
Joe Diametti (07:54):
that's what I heard my dad say.
Rowan Collins (07:56):
Oh, see? I guess their uniforms must be very
sexy.
Isaac Allen Burns (07:59):
Oh, dude.
Annie Hawthorne (08:00):
What does sexy mean?
Rowan Collins (08:01):
Sexy means attractive in a way that makes
you wanna diddle with
Isaac Allen Burns (08:05):
them. Alright. Alright. Okay,
everybody. Settle down.
We cut back in time. We cutforward. And, sure enough, the 3
of you have just finished amission. It's a bit of a boring
mission. And this comes to mindbecause as you're entering back
into the town, you know, this isa town that has a small wooden
fence surrounding it.
Right? A wall, if you will. I'musing air quotes, a wall. And
(08:27):
you see that today there is apair of peacekeepers outside of
the gates. They don't oftenstand there, but when they're
actually working, you can alwaysfind a pair of them standing
outside the gates.
They nod to you as you enter in.And as you head back to the
city, let's set the scenetogether for a second. So first
and foremost, Crank, or ratherAnnie, where does your trio
(08:49):
typically go after a mission?When you finished for the day,
you've done all your hard work,you're looking to settle down,
relax, where do you all oftengo?
Annie Hawthorne (08:57):
I think that Crank tries to get everyone to
go to the library, but nobodywill ever go to the library. So
I think we just go to whereverpeople drink in this town.
Isaac Allen Burns (09:11):
Oh, very good. You yeah. You go to the
younger, hipper drinking hole inthe town, which is the Aphid
Tavern. It's on the western sideof town. It is a little more
trendy.
It's a little more modern, youknow. It's kinda got that open
that open concept where you can,like, see the girders, and
there's bricks and all.
Joe Diametti (09:32):
Oh, exposed brick? Exposed brick. Yeah. Diseconomy?
Yeah.
Wow.
Isaac Allen Burns (09:36):
Oh, yeah. Y'all, the Afid Afid tavern,
real modern. You know, the youngpeople love Afid tavern. And,
Cabbie, it's been pretty boring,I would say. It's been a boring
mission.
In fact, what was the missiony'all just completed that you
finished up for the day now?
Joe Diametti (09:51):
I think it was sold to us that we were going to
be dealing with some filth thatwas causing trouble. Oh. And
when we got there, we found outit was clearing a dump of trash
and manure for an elderlyperson.
Isaac Allen Burns (10:10):
Oh, no. Yeah. The the definition of filth was,
used to their advantage on thisone. In fact, as you come in,
y'all are kinda stinky.
Annie Hawthorne (10:20):
Y'all
Isaac Allen Burns (10:20):
are kinda stinky. And finally, Pistachio,
to finally to set the finalscene here, did the mission go
well, or did it go poorly?
Rowan Collins (10:29):
I think for Pistachio, it went well because
they met made a lot of newfriends. And by that, I meant
they talked to a lot of ratsthat helped them clean. But if
you ask the elderly person whois apparently terrified of rats,
maybe not so
Joe Diametti (10:46):
much. I did think it was weird when I turned
around and you were just kinda,like, orchestrating them to
carry a bag altogether, like,ants.
Rowan Collins (10:54):
Well, not like ants. We're like a team that
works together. Right? They,like, they wanna work together.
They're all friends.
They're family.
Annie Hawthorne (11:03):
They're
Joe Diametti (11:04):
ants are friends?
Rowan Collins (11:05):
The ants are also friends.
Annie Hawthorne (11:07):
Are the
Joe Diametti (11:07):
ants friends like we're friends?
Rowan Collins (11:09):
No. Nobody could be friends like we're friends,
Kathy.
Joe Diametti (11:12):
Yeah. I need a drink.
Rowan Collins (11:16):
Oh, I would love a drink.
Isaac Allen Burns (11:17):
As you enter in, sure enough, your table is,
of course, open, and you seethat behind the bar is a
bartender polishing a glass thatthat lets you know who the
bartender is if they'repolishing the glass. This one's
no different. The bartender hereis this young fawn with kinda
yellow tinged fur, named Miles.And as you step in, he nods to
to to the 3 of you, points at atable in the corner. It's your
(11:42):
table.
You always go there. And helooks over and all he says, just
the usual today?
Rowan Collins (11:48):
Well, yes, Miles. I will love the usual. You know,
please put the ice in the milkso that it, like, kinda floats
to the top. I don't like it whenit's all the way stuck on the
bottom because then it's kindafrost to the glass a little bit.
I like it when there's a littlebit of space.
You know how I like it.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:02):
I know how you like it, mister Tachio.
Joe Diametti (12:04):
Yes, Miles. The usual. And by usual, we mean a
glass of milk, a tin can of oil,and just a beer. The reason we
come here, he says as he looksat both of Crank and pistachio.
Annie Hawthorne (12:16):
Do you happen to have the premium machine oil
today?
Isaac Allen Burns (12:19):
You know, after you asked me the last
time, I did go and get some justfor you, Frank. So, you know, I
I
Annie Hawthorne (12:24):
like I appreciate that. I'll bring you
pastries tomorrow.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:27):
Oh, pay oh, you did say that you do grab
pastries. Yeah. I'll take someI'll get on the pastry train.
I'll get on that. Yeah.
Alright. One milk with half iceand one beer and a premium can
of oil coming right up. Y'alljust take a seat. I'll be right
there.
Rowan Collins (12:42):
Do you have the deli straws today?
Isaac Allen Burns (12:44):
I have one that I kept to the side just for
you. I treat my customers right.
Rowan Collins (12:48):
Miles, you're my favorite.
Isaac Allen Burns (12:50):
Miles disappears behind the kitchen,
and soon, the 3 of you aresitting at your favorite table
with your favorite drinks. So 3of you are sitting there. Who's
got their back to the door?
Joe Diametti (13:01):
I do, probably.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:03):
Awesome. Kevin, because you have your
back to the door, that means youcan see the bar. And sitting at
the bar is 2 peacekeepers. Youcan tell they're peacekeepers
because of their uniforms. Theyhave this red jacket.
It's a nice red jacket foldedreally nicely. It has gold
tinged edges and lapels. Notactual gold. That would be
really expensive, but just likegold colored. Right?
(13:25):
Underneath, they've got a whiteshirt that has been ironed and
pressed together. And the thingyou notice, first of all, Kathy,
you don't recognize thesepeople. They look a lot younger
than the others, and you'venoticed that they keep looking
over at your table. They'retrying to be really discreet
about it, but you see every sooften one of them just kind of
looks over and then kind oflooks back.
Joe Diametti (13:45):
Hey. Hey. Everyone be cool. Mhmm. Don't make it
obvious that you see those guysover at the bar?
The peacekeepers?
Annie Hawthorne (13:55):
I just turn around completely.
Rowan Collins (13:57):
Pistachio whoops there.
Isaac Allen Burns (13:58):
Oh god.
Joe Diametti (13:59):
Hi. I can
Isaac Allen Burns (14:00):
see if they notice. They notice.
Rowan Collins (14:04):
We wave. Hi.
Isaac Allen Burns (14:06):
Oh. You see that they look at each other and
then
Rowan Collins (14:08):
they look
Isaac Allen Burns (14:09):
at you?
Joe Diametti (14:09):
Hello. I I wave at them and openly say, hi. Yes.
You too. If you wanna buy us adrink, I like the beer.
This one likes milk, and thisone likes, and I can't make this
clear, premium oil. So I suggestyou either buy us the drinks or
turn around.
Isaac Allen Burns (14:26):
They look at each other, and you can tell
that they're, like, a littlenervous, and they walk over to
your table. You see hang on onesecond. I don't wanna make them
dwarves because I've used a lotof dwarves, but I'm trying to
find
Rowan Collins (14:40):
Can they also be firebolgs?
Isaac Allen Burns (14:43):
You know what? Sure. Why not? You see
furbolgs? They're 2 furbolgs.
Young furbolgs. About your age,Kathy. One of them has sort of,
like, skin that's more blue thanyours, and she's got blonde hair
that's tied back in a reallytight bun. The other one is a
young dude, kind of darker, likecloser to blacker, and he's got
(15:06):
these green eyes that are reallygreen. And they walk over, the
one of them, the one with greeneyes walks up and says, hey.
Sorry. I didn't mean to disturbyou guys. How we I'm really
sorry. We can't afford expensivedrinks. I'm really sorry.
Joe Diametti (15:22):
Wait. You are you what are what are these coats?
Are you not peacekeepers?
Isaac Allen Burns (15:26):
Well, we so we we're new recruits. We joined
we actually got here 2 days ago.We're still trying to learn the
place, and we heard that you'rethe adventurers. You're in the
adventuring guild, and we'rekinda wondering if you you kinda
help us out on kinda figuringout where things are. Do do you
have, like, a quick second?
(15:47):
Can we can we just ask you acouple questions?
Annie Hawthorne (15:49):
I'm just gonna, like, hold my giant hand out and
say, I'm Craig. What's yourname?
Isaac Allen Burns (15:52):
Hi, Craig. The one with green eyes shakes
her hand and says, my name is,Stefano.
Annie Hawthorne (15:58):
Stefano. I don't think that's a food.
Rowan Collins (16:00):
No. That's not a food. At least I don't think it
is a food. Hi. I'm pistachio.
I've been here my whole life.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:06):
Oh, hi. Stefano, nice to meet you. That
is a food.
Rowan Collins (16:11):
That is a food. For food? Yes. But I can't eat
that food. Craig likes givingfood to people.
Annie Hawthorne (16:16):
Yeah. I look at the other one. What's your name?
Isaac Allen Burns (16:18):
She looks at you and says, my name is Nepany.
Annie Hawthorne (16:22):
Oh, I don't think that's a food either. I
don't
Isaac Allen Burns (16:23):
think that's a food either. I wasn't named
after
Annie Hawthorne (16:26):
a food. Your favorite food?
Isaac Allen Burns (16:27):
Well, it's so okay. There's this place Hi.
Joe Diametti (16:31):
And the Hi. Nepany. Hi. How are you? I'm I'm
Kapi.
I'm kind of the leader at theAdventurers Guild. I would love
to answer your questions.
Isaac Allen Burns (16:44):
Oh, okay. She looks at Stefano, who looks at
you and says, there was a reportof do you know what an asset
borrower is?
Rowan Collins (16:53):
Do you know what an asset borrower
Joe Diametti (16:54):
is? Well, Stephanie, I am actually quite
familiar with asset borrowers.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:00):
Oh, okay. Can you give me some information?
Like, what are they? Do theywhat do they do?
Annie Hawthorne (17:05):
Well, they borrow. Okay. Well, yeah. And
they also have acid.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:09):
Okay.
Rowan Collins (17:09):
And they're big.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:11):
They're big? Like, how big? Are you, like, a
horse big or a building big?
Rowan Collins (17:15):
I squint at crank, like, 4 cranks big.
Joe Diametti (17:19):
Oh, what?
Isaac Allen Burns (17:20):
That's really big.
Annie Hawthorne (17:22):
That was really big.
Rowan Collins (17:23):
But, like, stacked on top of each other
like a cube. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:27):
Okay.
Rowan Collins (17:27):
Like like, 2 cranks wide and 2 cranks tall.
Four cranks.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:33):
That's really big. Yeah. They said it was
gonna be big, but that's biggerthan I was thinking.
Rowan Collins (17:37):
Yeah. They're pretty big.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:39):
Have you have you seen them around these parts
before? They said it was sort ofa rare occurrence that it hasn't
really come around here before.
Rowan Collins (17:46):
I haven't.
Isaac Allen Burns (17:47):
Mm-mm. So okay. Do you also I have another
question. Do you know where thenorthern northern logging camp
is? Because we've looked aroundand we can't find is it outside
the city?
It's
Annie Hawthorne (17:59):
to the north.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:01):
Well, yeah. Well, that's where we looked,
but we didn't know if we neededto leave the city. They told us
to, like, patrol the city, andso we didn't know if we needed
to go north or not.
Annie Hawthorne (18:09):
Well, see, if you go to the center of town and
then you go north and then youkeep going north, then then
you'll get to the north.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:15):
So it's outside the city?
Rowan Collins (18:16):
It is outside the city. Yes. You just
Joe Diametti (18:18):
Frank, you gotta be nice. These these
peacekeepers, you know, theythey get them very young, very
uneducated.
Annie Hawthorne (18:24):
Am I not being nice? I
Isaac Allen Burns (18:25):
I'm trying
Annie Hawthorne (18:25):
to give them directions.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:28):
Do we have a pro he looks at you. Do we have
a problem, dude? I'm so I didn'tI didn't think we did anything
to you. Did you do something
Annie Hawthorne (18:33):
to me? When he doesn't have his his, Apple
Fritter. Just ignore him.
Isaac Allen Burns (18:36):
It is true.
Rowan Collins (18:37):
Well, the Apple Fritter store is closed right
now. So cap, he can't get his
Isaac Allen Burns (18:41):
Apple Fritter. The bakery is closed
today?
Rowan Collins (18:43):
Yes. Well, just now because they're cleaning for
the Apple Festival. Oh. He's sadhe's not gonna see Scarlet.
Joe Diametti (18:50):
No. What I'm sad about is that everybody has a
choice to either join anadventuring guild, a noble
cause, some would say, or thesoulless with benefits package
red coat peacekeepers.
Rowan Collins (19:06):
On the plus side, it does look very good on you. I
can see That is a good color.Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:10):
Thank you.
Rowan Collins (19:11):
Yeah. You both look very trim in your outfits.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:13):
Listen, I didn't wanna be thank you. I
appreciate that.
Rowan Collins (19:16):
You're welcome.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:17):
My my dad was in the military, so I wanted to
follow in his steps. And I helooks at you, Kathy says, and I
didn't wanna be just a discountmercenary.
Joe Diametti (19:25):
Kathy rolls his eyes so hard.
Rowan Collins (19:28):
I don't I'm not a discount mercenary.
Annie Hawthorne (19:31):
I'm actually retired from the military. So
Isaac Allen Burns (19:33):
You fought in the war?
Annie Hawthorne (19:34):
You're military? Yeah. I mean, kinda
what I was built for.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:39):
He looks at you for a second and you see
some suspicion come on his eyes,and he says, I feel like I heard
that a lot of clanks fought forJustine. Did you fight for
Justine?
Rowan Collins (19:48):
That's an irrelevant question.
Isaac Allen Burns (19:50):
Really sorry to bother all of you. We'll just
get out of your way.
Joe Diametti (19:52):
What business do you have out at the logging
camp?
Isaac Allen Burns (19:56):
Well, so, apparently, there is an acid
borrower causing problems in thenorthern logging camp. So the
foreman sent something in for usto take care of. We know she
kinda leans in and says, we wekind of gathered that this is a
job that all of you typicallydo. So I don't I just got here.
(20:17):
I don't know all the specifics,but I just really wanna start
off on a good foot.
So I'm sorry. And I hope that wecan, you know, maybe work
together sometime. Maybe we canhelp each other out. Out.
Rowan Collins (20:27):
Well, I look at Kathy or and go, maybe we could
show the where the launch is andmaybe, you know Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne (20:38):
And our super error sounds more exciting than
picking up trash.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:44):
You know, we're
Joe Diametti (20:45):
Fine.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:45):
We're really not supposed to get civilians
involved. But since you areadventures We're
Annie Hawthorne (20:49):
We're not civilians? Yeah.
Joe Diametti (20:50):
We're not civilians.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:51):
Yeah. No. You have a chance to be
Annie Hawthorne (20:53):
a civilian.
Joe Diametti (20:54):
You're an adventure, mister Patio.
Rowan Collins (20:56):
Right. I'm no longer a harbor.
Isaac Allen Burns (20:58):
Oh, you work, you work with the Apples? You
have Apples?
Rowan Collins (21:01):
Oh, no. I I were my family owns the Dutch farm.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:06):
Oh, that's the troops.
Rowan Collins (21:08):
Yeah. Yeah. You've been here looking up that
you know the troops.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:12):
Well, we met, we met Hazel.
Rowan Collins (21:16):
Oh, you've met my sister? Yeah. You've met twin
sister. Don't we look the same?
Isaac Allen Burns (21:20):
Oh, like fraternal twins. Right?
Rowan Collins (21:22):
No. We're identical twins.
Isaac Allen Burns (21:26):
Oh.
Rowan Collins (21:27):
Yeah. We look exactly the same. If you looked
us right next to each other, youcould totally tell, like, we
were the same shared the samewomb.
Joe Diametti (21:37):
Stephanie, you're in luck. I have a couple
questions. First off, what iswhat is what is what is this
relationship here between youand Nathaniel? What's your name?
Nathaniel.
Name's
Isaac Allen Burns (21:49):
Nathaniel. He says, annoyed. And she says,
well, we were transferred herethe same, and so we're on patrol
together.
Rowan Collins (21:56):
Are you asking if they're dating?
Joe Diametti (21:58):
I just like to know who I have to work with,
Pistachio. And he says that ashe is just only addressing
Nefani. Oh my god. So, Nefani,here's what we're gonna do.
Lucky for you, you have the mostskilled adventure, maybe for
(22:18):
Miles, you have a robot that Iliterally saw murdering eelgater
in cold blood.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:26):
And You have eelgaters around these parts?
Rowan Collins (22:29):
Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne (22:29):
They're in the river. They eat turnips.
Rowan Collins (22:31):
They are, in fact, cold blooded. So Kapi is
not just being, you know,descriptive, but also factual.
Joe Diametti (22:39):
And we even have a pistachio.
Rowan Collins (22:42):
Bee. That's b.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:44):
Okay. We really just needed directions to
the logging factory.
Rowan Collins (22:47):
Oh, I
Annie Hawthorne (22:47):
told you it's north.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:48):
That's not okay.
Joe Diametti (22:50):
I'm a little worried if you can't follow the
directions north.
Rowan Collins (22:53):
Well, we could go for you.
Isaac Allen Burns (22:55):
Do I have a way
Joe Diametti (22:56):
to, like, see other intentions? Like
Isaac Allen Burns (23:00):
Yeah. Do a we're gonna call this an
instinct check. So go ahead androll 2 d 12 and add your
instinct modifier.
Joe Diametti (23:08):
Alright. My instinct is a plus 0. Crit,
baby.
Rowan Collins (23:14):
Yo. That's so nice.
Isaac Allen Burns (23:15):
No way.
Rowan Collins (23:16):
Double twos.
Isaac Allen Burns (23:18):
Okay. Yeah. What are you specifically
looking for, would you say,Kapi, out of these 2?
Joe Diametti (23:23):
I guess I'm I'm trying to figure out what the
bit is, you know? Like, are theylike, do they want help, or are
they asking for instructions, oris there malicious intent, or
Isaac Allen Burns (23:33):
So you get as you're reading the situation,
Kathy, you see something. Whatyou see in Stefano is someone
trying to prove something, whichI hate that. You can recognize
really easily. You can recognizereally easily. This guy
definitely has, like, a chip onhis shoulder.
He's trying to, like, provehimself.
Joe Diametti (23:51):
Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns (23:52):
You can see that Nepany is just trying to
get the job done. And what youcan clearly see is, Stefano did
not wanna talk to y'all, and isunhappy about the idea of y'all
coming. And Nepany started outjust by asking directions, and
just trying to navigate howcomplicated it's gonna be if
y'all come along to help outtake out this asset borrower. If
(24:14):
they're gonna get in trouble forit, or if y'all get hurt, what's
gonna happen? She's basicallytrying to piece together like,
how complicated this would be,but understands if something is
4 crank tall, then it, yeah, itmight be tough to take on by
themselves.
Perfect.
Joe Diametti (24:31):
Then I would like Kapi, what do we think, guys? Do
we, like, sit Nathaniel out? Canyou tell him to sit this one
out? I think he's kind ofbothering us. Not very cool.
Rowan Collins (24:45):
Is it because you wanna put the boobs on Nessie?
Annie Hawthorne (24:48):
I'm confused. I thought you liked Scarlet, and
now you like this person?
Joe Diametti (24:52):
What do you mean? I don't like Scarlet. What do
you that's
Isaac Allen Burns (24:56):
I think
Rowan Collins (24:56):
you can't keep your heart from singing.
Joe Diametti (25:00):
Oh, pistachio. Crank. I guess when it comes to
the matters of love, things canbe complicated. Right? You know,
maybe me and Scarlet had ahistory, but we're on different
paths right now.
So, you know, who am I to turnaway a long haired furball that
(25:21):
needs our help, if anything?
Rowan Collins (25:23):
Who looks good in uniform? Who They like, their
eyebrows go up and down as theystare at you.
Joe Diametti (25:30):
Alright, pistachio. Be cool.
Rowan Collins (25:31):
Oh, right. Right. Right. Nathaniel, could I get
you a milk?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:36):
I'm lactose intolerant.
Joe Diametti (25:37):
Of course, you are.
Rowan Collins (25:38):
Can I get you a cider?
Isaac Allen Burns (25:40):
I'm not supposed to drink on the job. Oh
my god.
Joe Diametti (25:42):
Alright. Can we get you to go sit at the bar and
wait for us to get back? Thatway, if your lieutenant listen.
If your lieutenant needs youguys and needs to make sure
there's one of you in the town,I don't wanna rob him of that. I
know how I don't wanna rob youof the chance to lick anyone's
boots, really, is what
Rowan Collins (25:59):
You lick boots?
Annie Hawthorne (26:02):
Sounds unsanitary.
Rowan Collins (26:04):
It is disgusting. Roll
Joe Diametti (26:07):
a,
Isaac Allen Burns (26:08):
roll a presence check to attempt to
persuade this person. The DC forthis was, like, an an 11, and
then you said lick their boots,so now it's a 14.
Joe Diametti (26:19):
Okay. My presence is a plus 1.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:21):
Oh, okay. That's pretty good.
Joe Diametti (26:23):
That is a 14 with hope.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:27):
No. I don't know.
Rowan Collins (26:28):
Okay. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:29):
So, Kapi, Joe, you you Oh, wait. No.
Joe Diametti (26:31):
I lied. It's a 15.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:33):
A 15?
Joe Diametti (26:33):
Because I forgot about my plus 1. It's a 15 with
hope.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:35):
A 15 with hope. That beats the DC. And I
get a
Joe Diametti (26:38):
hope from that.
Isaac Allen Burns (26:39):
You get a hope from that. That's true. And
so this is a success with hope,which means that it's a pretty
good result. You see that he,Stefano, he's got his arms
crossed, kinda looks you up anddown. And you see because of
that critical you rolledearlier, I'll say that can
continue.
You gotta have a read on thisguy. This guy cuts you a look,
(26:59):
looks you up and down, and thethought goes through his mind.
Well, if they go on ahead andthis asset borrower is too much
for them, I could come in andsave them. So he nods and says,
alright. If you're sure, I'llhang out here in case the
lieutenant comes around.
And he sort of looks at Nefaniewho says, Stefania, are you sure
(27:21):
that's good? Stefania said, no.Yeah. This is great. He goes to
sit at the bar and does thatthing where you, like, put your
elbows on the bar, and you'relooking out at it.
Rowan Collins (27:30):
Miles could hook you up with some kind of good
food. Everything is good here.They, like, have the best, apple
chips if you want them. You canput it on my tab.
Isaac Allen Burns (27:42):
He, gets very interested when you say that and
says, I'll make sure to do that.Yeah.
Rowan Collins (27:47):
Miles, please make sure he doesn't bake for
me.
Isaac Allen Burns (27:51):
See, Miles, who's been watching this this
whole time, which is like alittle bit of an awkward smile
on his face, nods at you andsays, hey, I I do what I can for
my best customers. You got it.
Rowan Collins (28:01):
Thank you Miles. Appreciate you.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:04):
And as the 4 of you leave, you see that there
is a young boy running up to the4 of you. He's got, like, a
little cap and little overalls,suspend like, a little jean
overalls, like a white shirt.Classic like Dickensian child.
And as he runs up to the 4 ofyou, he yells, parcel, parcel
(28:24):
for you, crank. He holds out aletter and says, parcel for you.
Annie Hawthorne (28:30):
Oh, I never get mail.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:32):
Mail for you from Roseanne, the librarian.
Annie Hawthorne (28:37):
Oh, it's from it's from my mom. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:41):
That's right. One parcel to the tall robot who
wears a hat.
Annie Hawthorne (28:46):
Alright. Take it. I open it up immediately.
Isaac Allen Burns (28:48):
Open it up immediately, and it's a little
note that reads, dear Crank, MAis a heart. I have very exciting
news for you, exclamation point,smiley face. A package just came
in for you. Come to the librarywhenever you get a chance today.
And it says, love, Roseanne.
And then in parentheses, itsays, mom. You see the little
(29:11):
kid is holding out his hand toyou, palm up.
Annie Hawthorne (29:14):
Oh, right. I fish out a silver piece, I
guess. I don't know.
Isaac Allen Burns (29:19):
He, he takes it and looks at it and says, all
these mises. And then he kicks arock and then runs off. He has
other parcels to do.
Annie Hawthorne (29:27):
Well, I'm on a pension. I don't have all the
money in the world.
Rowan Collins (29:30):
Do you want a bag of nuts?
Isaac Allen Burns (29:32):
He turns around and runs back and says,
you say a bag of nuts?
Rowan Collins (29:35):
Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns (29:35):
I'll take a bag of nuts.
Rowan Collins (29:37):
Alright. I write down the group family farm
address and go, I'll give thisto my mom. I can't touch them
because I would explode inrashes, but you get one bag of
nuts on me.
Isaac Allen Burns (29:47):
He takes it and looks at it and says, this
ain't a bag of nuts.
Rowan Collins (29:50):
No. That's not a dress to where you get a bag of
nuts.
Isaac Allen Burns (29:53):
Are you asking me to deliver a parcel?
Rowan Collins (29:55):
No. What's your name?
Isaac Allen Burns (29:57):
Morning? Yeah. No one's asked what my
name is before. My name'sPostmate.
Rowan Collins (30:05):
Postmate?
Isaac Allen Burns (30:06):
That's right.
Rowan Collins (30:07):
Like like
Isaac Allen Burns (30:09):
b o s m a, Postmate. Postmate. That's
right. I'm starting a businesswhere I'll deliver things to the
people who need them. I'lldeliver parcels.
I'll deliver food. I'll justsign the contract with the
bakery in town to deliver foodto people once they open after
all day cleaning they doing.
Rowan Collins (30:30):
Oh, that's fantastic.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:32):
That's right.
Rowan Collins (30:33):
But I feel like he's still your gig, Craig.
Mhmm.
Annie Hawthorne (30:38):
I also like to deliver people food.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:39):
Oh, you deliver food too? Are you
telling me that you had a cornerof the market that you
monopolized, and now I'mstepping into your market?
Annie Hawthorne (30:49):
Well, technically, I don't charge to
deliver food, so there's nomarket What? To speak of.
Isaac Allen Burns (30:54):
You're trying to murder the market right now.
I can't compete with free. Howare we supposed to improve the
free hand of the market with badcompetition like this? There's a
word for this that I'm a come upwith and get real famous for
talking about later once Ifigure out how money works.
Joe Diametti (31:14):
Scram, kid.
Isaac Allen Burns (31:15):
That's not my name. My name's Postmate.
Rowan Collins (31:18):
Thank you, Postmate.
Isaac Allen Burns (31:19):
You're welcome. I'll eat points at
Ukraine and says, I'll neverforget you. We're gone. We're
gonna fight to the bitter end,and then only one of us is gonna
stand on top of the deliveryservice mountain. And it's gonna
be me.
Annie Hawthorne (31:32):
Oh, okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (31:32):
He runs off.
Joe Diametti (31:34):
Frank, do you have a new arch nemesis?
Rowan Collins (31:36):
I I
Annie Hawthorne (31:37):
don't know. Is that what that was?
Joe Diametti (31:38):
I think that's what that was.
Annie Hawthorne (31:40):
I just give people food because people like
food.
Joe Diametti (31:42):
Mhmm. Well, so what what what's the note say?
Annie Hawthorne (31:46):
Oh, there's a package at the library for me.
Isaac Allen Burns (31:49):
You see, Nephanie, looks at the 3 of you
and says, if you need to takecare of that, I can just go
wait, on the northern gate foryou to come by. I need to kinda
patrol the town anyway, so Ifigured I'd give it one last
look and then we can, you know,meet there.
Annie Hawthorne (32:02):
Oh, let's let's pick a pit stop by the library
and get that package.
Isaac Allen Burns (32:05):
Okay. Yeah. I'll meet you at the northern
gate. And she walks off.
Annie Hawthorne (32:09):
Yeah. You know, I never did under, hear what her
favorite food is. Mhmm. Yeah.How how do I know what to get
her for her birthday?
Rowan Collins (32:18):
Wait. Are you giving people things because
it's their birthday?
Annie Hawthorne (32:21):
Well, birthdays you give people things. I mean,
I give people things anytime,but birthdays seem like a good
Rowan Collins (32:26):
Yeah. I mean, yeah. But I was just concerned
that you thought every day wassomebody's birthday.
Annie Hawthorne (32:30):
Well, every day is somebody's birthday.
Rowan Collins (32:32):
But, like, not the same person's birthday.
Like, it's a special day.
Annie Hawthorne (32:35):
Oh, no.
Rowan Collins (32:36):
Like like, mine is always, like it's, like, 3
weeks away.
Annie Hawthorne (32:40):
Do you think that I should only give people
things on their birthday?
Rowan Collins (32:43):
Oh, no. Absolutely not. I love the fact
that you give gifts all thetime. It's like bringing the
little ray of sunshine intoeverybody's life.
Annie Hawthorne (32:51):
Well, that's good. I'm glad it seemed that
way.
Joe Diametti (32:53):
We need to get you guys meaner. Craig, I wouldn't
worry. I don't think Nephenny isgonna be still be around on her
birthday.
Annie Hawthorne (33:02):
We don't even know when her birthday is.
Rowan Collins (33:04):
Hey, Nathaniel. When's Stephanie's birthday?
Isaac Allen Burns (33:07):
You walk back inside the bar, and you see,
Nathaniel is there. He's got,like, a big plate of nachos, and
he turns around and shrugs. Idon't know.
Rowan Collins (33:16):
Archie will have her partner. Oh, okay. Okay. And
you don't know everything abouther yet?
Isaac Allen Burns (33:21):
Why would I?
Rowan Collins (33:22):
Because you're her partner. You work with her.
Isaac Allen Burns (33:25):
Coworkers.
Rowan Collins (33:25):
But you feel like
Isaac Allen Burns (33:26):
Do you think just everyone who works together
is just best friends?
Rowan Collins (33:29):
I mean, that's how it worked for me.
Joe Diametti (33:31):
Pistachio.
Rowan Collins (33:32):
Oh, Tommy, boss. How big.
Isaac Allen Burns (33:34):
He, Stefano looks at you for a second, Kapi,
and just raises an eyebrow.
Joe Diametti (33:38):
Yeah. I ray he Kapi raises his eyebrow eyebrow
back. The problem is that inreal life, this is a guy I'd
have a problem with.
Isaac Allen Burns (33:48):
Yep. Yep. So I I Kapi takes It's a where kid.
Joe Diametti (33:52):
Kapi takes pistachio over the shoulder and
is, like, listen. Are you underthe impression no. He actually
gets down to pistachio's level.Okay. Listen.
Listen, kiddo. Yes. I'm worriedthat you're getting a little
attached to Crank and I.
Rowan Collins (34:07):
Well, yeah. Of course. I You're my best friends
Annie Hawthorne (34:11):
Oh.
Rowan Collins (34:11):
And you're my boss.
Joe Diametti (34:12):
Yeah. And while that is so sweet, I really just
wanna stress how dangerous thatthat could be to get close to
people like me or the robotthat's eyes turn red and kill
things. I just I've been doingthis for a while, and, the
(34:33):
attachment, it just doesn'twork. It doesn't work. You
Rowan Collins (34:36):
know? Why?
Joe Diametti (34:37):
So that's why we are going to stop by the
library.
Rowan Collins (34:40):
Mhmm.
Joe Diametti (34:41):
Get Crank's package.
Rowan Collins (34:42):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (34:43):
I can't wait to meet Crank's mom.
Rowan Collins (34:44):
Uh-huh. You know, the whole stay attached thing.
Yes.
Joe Diametti (34:48):
We're going to go north to the logging cabin.
Rowan Collins (34:51):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (34:52):
We're going to help do whatever there and
subsequently help Nepany.
Rowan Collins (34:57):
Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti (34:58):
You guys are going to go home.
Rowan Collins (35:00):
Right.
Joe Diametti (35:00):
I'm going to give Nephe a tour of the adventures
guild
Rowan Collins (35:03):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (35:04):
And she'll be gone by the morning
Rowan Collins (35:06):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (35:06):
Much like we'll all be gone one day.
Rowan Collins (35:09):
Okay.
Joe Diametti (35:09):
Okay, kiddo. Alright.
Annie Hawthorne (35:11):
Craig, library? Library.
Joe Diametti (35:13):
Library.
Rowan Collins (35:14):
So what I got from that is to invite everybody
to a sleepover.
Annie Hawthorne (35:18):
I would love to go to a sleepover.
Rowan Collins (35:19):
Would you like to come over? I'd love to introduce
you to my mom after we meet yourmom.
Annie Hawthorne (35:24):
Absolutely. This sounds like great fun.
Isaac Allen Burns (35:26):
That's so cute. I love that. The 3 of you
make your way to the library,weaving through town as you see
townsfolk around putting updecorations, doing some painting
on the buildings to make themlook really nice and pop. You
see apples, dried apples. Yousee all kinds of decorations
that you would expect for anApple Festival.
And eventually, you get to abuilding that just has, like, a
(35:49):
string of paper apples just overthe entryway. That is the
library, and it is currentlyunlocked.
Rowan Collins (35:56):
Oh, gosh. I haven't been to the library in a
long time. Probably, like, a fewyears since I was at school. Oh.
Joe Diametti (36:03):
I was forced in once.
Rowan Collins (36:05):
Oh.
Joe Diametti (36:05):
It's literally nothing but books.
Annie Hawthorne (36:07):
I don't open the door and all.
Isaac Allen Burns (36:09):
You open the door to the library.
Annie Hawthorne (36:10):
Like, hi, mom. I got your letter.
Isaac Allen Burns (36:13):
You see, Roseanne is up on a staircase,
up on, like, one of thosestairs. Right? And it is, like,
putting a book a lie and seesyou. And her face just brightens
immediately. The other 2 of youwho probably haven't been to the
library before, or if you have,probably didn't notice who this
was, you see this elderly fawn.
We're talking, like, 200 yearsold. Right? Very old. Not old
(36:34):
enough to be like, you know,decrepit, but old enough that,
like, old. She's got wrinklesthat suggest a life of laughter
and smiles, and she's gotglasses that hang on the edge of
her nose.
There's those glasses that don'thave, like, the arms on either
side. They just sort of, like,squeezed at the end of her nose,
and she's got, like, that perm.She's got, like, a gray perm on
her head. And she comes overwearing, like, a pink cardigan
(36:55):
and just immediately, like,gives Crank a big hug and says,
oh, Crank, it's so good to seeyou again. I see you brought
your friends.
Annie Hawthorne (37:03):
Yes. It's been 6 whole hours since I was here.
Isaac Allen Burns (37:05):
Hey. No. You were just here earlier. Just
after you left, it came in. Butbut introduce me to your
friends.
Who are all of you?
Annie Hawthorne (37:12):
Oh, this is my very best friend in the world,
pistachio.
Rowan Collins (37:14):
Hi. I'm Pistachio. I'm Craig's best
friend, and you must be Craig'smom.
Isaac Allen Burns (37:19):
Oh, yes. I guess you could say that. Oh,
wonderful to meet you,Pistachio.
Rowan Collins (37:24):
Wonderful to meet you, Craig's mom. Can I also
call you mom? I mean, I guess Ihave a mom. Can I call you
Craig's mom?
Isaac Allen Burns (37:31):
Sure. Sure. If that's what you wanna call
me, that's fine.
Rowan Collins (37:35):
Cool. Thanks, Seebo. This is our boss.
Isaac Allen Burns (37:38):
And who's this cold drink of water?
Annie Hawthorne (37:40):
This is Cathy.
Isaac Allen Burns (37:41):
Oh, hello, handsome. Hello.
Joe Diametti (37:47):
I have so many questions. Oh, about your life
choices?
Isaac Allen Burns (37:54):
Well, this is a library. Unfortunately, there
are no books about old me. Mhmm.
Joe Diametti (37:59):
That's a shame because I could read it all
night.
Isaac Allen Burns (38:03):
Oh, you're such a charmer.
Rowan Collins (38:04):
Oh, Kapi's flirting with your bum.
Isaac Allen Burns (38:07):
I haven't gotten this.
Annie Hawthorne (38:09):
Are you gonna be my new dad?
Rowan Collins (38:11):
Oh, no.
Joe Diametti (38:14):
We'll see how the night goes, Crank.
Rowan Collins (38:15):
Oh, oh,
Isaac Allen Burns (38:16):
wait. I haven't gotten this much action
in a 100 years.
Rowan Collins (38:19):
We're gonna call Kathy c dad.
Joe Diametti (38:24):
I think Kathy just probably likes to flirt. I think
he either he I think he thinkshe has to do everything by
joking, intimidating, orflirting.
Isaac Allen Burns (38:33):
That's incredible. Oh my gosh. Yeah.
You know, Roseanne, loves it.It's just eating it up.
Just thinks you're so cute. Andshe kind of, squeezes your arm
prank and says, you wait righthere. I'll go get it. And she
goes into the back for a momentand then returns with a tome.
This is an old tome, and shesort of has trouble lifting it,
(38:57):
but slams it on the front deskand says, well, to be honest,
you've been reading a lot ofreally basic books about, magic
here, a couple of children'sbooks, and, you know, a lot of
books about maybe the history ofmagic as it relates to, what
were the
Joe Diametti (39:15):
names of the children's book? I was thinking
about it from the the othersession, and I Yeah. I wanna
know the names.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:22):
Let's all go in a circle and name a
children's book about magic,starting with Rowan. Ready? Go.
Rowan Collins (39:27):
1 wish, 2 ish, red wish, blue wish.
Joe Diametti (39:31):
Oh my god. Nailed it.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:33):
That's incredible. Okay. John I'll
Rowan Collins (39:34):
be here all night.
Joe Diametti (39:36):
Shit.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:37):
I'm writing these down.
Joe Diametti (39:40):
Wait a minute. Give a magic mouse a cookie.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:48):
Annie, give me give me another one.
Annie Hawthorne (39:50):
Where the Magic Things Are.
Isaac Allen Burns (39:53):
Alright then. My book is gonna be The Giving
Tree, but it's magic.
Joe Diametti (39:59):
Like in parentheses?
Isaac Allen Burns (40:00):
In parentheses, it says, but it's
magic. So anyways, Roseannelooks at you after naming all
those books and says, so andnone of those were really, you
know, magic books, but I calledin a favor at the capitol, the
Regulus Library, and they wereable to send me a book. It it I
(40:22):
sent it, you know, the first dayyou came here. So I'm sorry it's
taken 3 weeks to get here, butit finally did. I will say, I I
must tell you, it is it's like a4th edition.
Current I asked around, andcurrently, they're on the 10th
edition. So this is a littleolder, but a lot of the
foundational things in thereshould still be good. It's not
(40:45):
old enough to be an artifact ora relic or valuable in any ways,
but hopefully, this can helpyou. Hopefully, this can help.
Annie Hawthorne (40:54):
Oh, thank you so much, mom.
Isaac Allen Burns (40:55):
This is
Annie Hawthorne (40:55):
very nice of you. I'll bring you extra
pastries.
Rowan Collins (40:58):
Oh, oh,
Isaac Allen Burns (40:59):
just you coming every morning just makes
my day.
Rowan Collins (41:02):
Oh, do you like how carrying all those pastries,
Craig?
Annie Hawthorne (41:06):
I actually have a good bit of storage in here,
actually. It's several cubicfeet.
Rowan Collins (41:11):
Oh, okay.
Isaac Allen Burns (41:11):
It But
Annie Hawthorne (41:12):
thank you for offering.
Isaac Allen Burns (41:13):
Hey. Do you have storage inside yourself?
What where?
Annie Hawthorne (41:17):
Oh, yes. And I'll just, like, open up my
little chest cavity.
Isaac Allen Burns (41:21):
Oh, yes. It's
Annie Hawthorne (41:21):
hollow. And I'll take the book, and I'll put
it in there, and I'll just,like, shove it. You know?
Isaac Allen Burns (41:26):
Oh my.
Annie Hawthorne (41:27):
And then I'll close it.
Rowan Collins (41:28):
Well See? Wow.
Annie Hawthorne (41:30):
Look, mom. No
Rowan Collins (41:31):
hands. Oh, Craig, you're
Isaac Allen Burns (41:37):
so talented. Oh, dear. Well, do enjoy. I hope
it helps. Thanks for coming by.
I'm so glad you got my letter.The young man who came in here,
he was offering services todeliver parcels a few days ago,
and so I decided I'd, you know,maybe try it out.
Annie Hawthorne (41:55):
Yes. He seemed very upset when I told him I
just brought people food withoutcharging them money.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:00):
Oh, yes. He has a bit of an entrepreneurial
spirit, which means he's verycompetitive.
Rowan Collins (42:06):
He's Craig's mortal enemy.
Annie Hawthorne (42:08):
Oh. Supposedly. I don't really know what that
means. But
Isaac Allen Burns (42:11):
I remember my first mortal enemy.
Rowan Collins (42:13):
What were they like?
Isaac Allen Burns (42:15):
Her name was Sandra, and I buried that bitch
6 feet in the ground 75 yearsago. Holy I outlived her. I sure
did.
Rowan Collins (42:23):
Holy crap, Seetmob. That's badass.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:28):
Thank you. She smiles real wide. As, she
looks all of you smiling, yousee that she's about to open her
mouth to say something when youhear a window shatter across the
street, and you hear someshouting.
Rowan Collins (42:40):
Oh, uh-uh. Uh-oh.
Annie Hawthorne (42:41):
We gotta go check that out, guys. Thanks for
the book, mom.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:45):
Of course.
Annie Hawthorne (42:45):
I'll let you know what I learned.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:46):
I'll see you tomorrow.
Annie Hawthorne (42:48):
See you tomorrow.
Joe Diametti (42:49):
Kapi goes to run out the door, but then runs
back, kisses her hand, and thenruns out.
Rowan Collins (42:54):
Woah. Kapi's putting the boobs on.
Isaac Allen Burns (42:56):
He grabs
Joe Diametti (42:57):
pistachio as
Isaac Allen Burns (43:00):
What a charmer. She says as you bust
open the door, and as you stepout in the street, you see a
kerfuffle occurring. First thingyou notice, the building across
from you is missing a window.It's shattered onto the ground.
You see that there is a man,more specifically, a fawn
(43:20):
wearing a vest who's got someblood on his arms and a look in
his eyes that suggests he'srather inebriated right now.
And you see at the entrance tothe building is another fawn. A
fawn is pretty nondescript,except that he looks really mad.
You also see Nephenee currentlytrying to, like, pick up this
fawn. You see that the owner isjust yelling really angrily. And
(43:44):
as this, older Fawn is sort of,like, getting up, she's kinda
woozy.
He looks around. He looks atNephenee and, like, shoves her
and says, you're getting a testfor me out of this black
community. And he takes offrunning into the streets. You
see, Nephew kinda gets pushedback a little bit, and as you
look inside, you see that thereis a, couple of people kinda
(44:07):
hurt. Looks like a fight gotcaused inside this building,
And, Nephew, looks at the 3 ofyou with her eyes wide and says,
you go after him.
I'll take make sure everything'sokay in here.
Joe Diametti (44:16):
Oh. You got it. And then Kapi just takes off
running down the street.
Annie Hawthorne (44:20):
Oh, I I'm chasing this guy too.
Rowan Collins (44:22):
Can I not help here, Nefanie? I feel like my
legs don't go
Isaac Allen Burns (44:26):
Nope. I feel
Annie Hawthorne (44:26):
like that. Well,
Isaac Allen Burns (44:29):
the the 3 of you take off running. 2 of you
on purpose. 1 of youaccidentally. And guys, guess
what? That is where we will endthis episode of Dodo Borne.
Thanks for playing, and tip yourwaitress.
Rowan Collins (44:53):
Hey.
Isaac Allen Burns (44:54):
It's a podcast.
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