1.4 The Good, the Bad, and the Incompetent

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Isaac Allen Burns (00:31):
Yeah. So they went yeah. Can you believe that
they did that? I can't believethey did

Rowan Collins (00:34):
that to me. Oh my god.

I know right. Oh.

Joe Diametti (00:37):
The nerve.

The nerve.

I can't believe that.

My god. Welcome to this, an episode of
DodoBorne. With me, your host,and your GM, Isaac Allen Burns,
and your general, your chief ofstaff. That's me. To my left is
my 3 star general of landwarfare, Rowan Collins, playing
pistachio.

Land warfare? What?

And across from my land warfare general is
my sea warfare general. Say hi,Joe D'Amati.

Attention!

Playing Kapi. And then right next to Joe, we
have, private first class, AnnieHawthorne playing Crank.

Annie Hawthorne (01:19):
Bitchin'.

Hell, yeah. And it's me, Isaac Allen Burns,
he, him, your GM. Nice to meetall of you. Well, gang, let's
let's get into this episode lasttime on DodoBorne. Our friends,
our dodos, our heroes, our 3adventurers, were at a bar after
a long day of moving trashdealing with rats, where they
met 2 young peacekeepers thathad just gotten there a couple

(01:43):
days ago.
The peacekeepers asked for theirhelp, and opinions in the party
are mixed on these peacekeepers,I would say. Woah.

You have the hots for one of them.

No. Choosing to help one of them, you made
your way first to the library topick up a book because a book
came in for you, Crank,specifically for you, The
librarian, aka your mom, akaRoseanne

See, mom.

Got you a book, and you can't wait to read
it later. I can just tell.Suddenly, however, chaos struck
as suddenly the across thestreet at a bar, a bar fight
clearly ensued, and a man, nay,a fawn, is thrown out. Or at
least you didn't see this fawnget thrown out. You saw the
aftermath of it, broken glasseverywhere, and this fawn took

(02:26):
off and ran.
Very quickly, Kapi, you scoopedup pistachio and took off
running after this person andgave chase. That's right, you
guys. We're gonna start a chase.Nice. That's right, everybody.

(03:49):
Hi. It's me, your GM, IsaacAllen Burns. We haven't talked
in
a while. How are you?
I'm doing pretty good. So achase in Daggerheart is handled
with something called acountdown. A countdown in
Daggerheart is a specific kindof situation given in certain
environments or perhaps tenseconflicts that you think require

(04:12):
a countdown. This could be aritual that's about to take
place. It could be the eve of agreat war where 2 countries will
go at it.
It could be someone chasinganother person down the street.
The way that this works is thatI, the GM, Isaac Allen Burns,
have one dice that I have set asthe pursuing dice, and I have
another dice that I have set asthe pursued. As our heroes are

(04:37):
pursuing, they are the pursuerdice, which is a die of 6 set to
6. The pursued dice is a d 4currently set to 1. That
suggests how much of a lead ourquarry has.
As this begins, our group isgoing to be chasing after them.
And on successful roles andsuccessful events and perhaps

(04:59):
clever plays, their dice willcount down. Meanwhile, if our
quarry fails a roll or hastrouble doing something, their
number will go up, also viceversa. So to start off, the 3 of
you take off running. You startchasing this guy.
This guy is quick on his feet.That's one thing you notice is

(05:20):
that this old guy can hoof it,and he is hoofing it down the
street. Kapi.

Mhmm.

How do you approach this chase? As you are
running after this guy, are yougoing to try and just take a
direct straightforward approach,or are you gonna try to do
something a little different?What's your plan here to try and
catch this guy?

So I I don't exactly know the layout of the
town, but I I know in my heartthat Kapi wait. Where is the
bakery in all of this? Like, I

Kapi would Kapi has one track mind. Yeah.
It is at that bakery. Okay. Sohere's what I'm gonna say.
Would you say it would be betteror worse if it's if you were
closer to the bakery?

I would say it would it like, he's gonna wanna
get Scarlett's attention. See,he's gonna want Scarlett to see
him chasing.

Okay. Well, bakery is closed today. We did
establish, but I'm gonna roll adice to see if Scarlet is in the
Yeah. I mean, they're cleaningit. Right?

They

are cleaning it. So I'm gonna roll this d
twenty right now, and we'regonna see how high it rolls.
That's a 16, which is prettyhigh. So I'm gonna say Kapi is
watching this guy run, and yousee that there's sort of, like,
the road kinda splits. It couldgo off to a smaller road, or it
can continue down the mainstreet.
Mhmm. And if they were tocontinue down the main road, he
would cross by the bakery.

Mhmm.

But if

he went down the short road, he would miss
the bakery completely. And we'regoing to say, by the way that
this starts, that you are we'regonna say close to far away from
this guy, which means thatyou're between 30 to 60 feet
from this guy. Is Kapi gonna tryand do something to make him go
down the main street?

I'm I'm telling you, Kapi is, without a doubt.

Nice. What do you think Kapi would do in this
situation to try and do that?What do you think, Joe?

I think because he already had grabbed pistachio
Uh-huh. And is running, holdingpistachio. Oh, no. I I'm gonna
look I'm gonna hold pistachio,like, up under, like, my arm.
Right?
And I'm gonna look at pistachioand say, lock the street. Go go
do wait. Go go dodo. And thenthrow pistachio to hopefully

(07:25):
turn into a dodo and get itcomped in so that it has to run
down the main street.

Awesome. So we're gonna say make a strength
check for me. Me. We are 4episodes, 5, 6, 3, 2, 1
episodes, and we're alreadythrowing each other. This is
great.

Yeah.

We are my strength is a plus 0.

This is gonna be great. Alright. What do we
got?

So hat is a 5 with wait. With hope. Oh.

It is a 5 with hope. So you throw
pistachio. And, Kapi, it's justnot as I I don't think you'd get
as far as you were hoping.Pistachio, you kinda get chucked
a little bit forward. You hitthe ground a

little bit.

My butt.

Pistachio, what are you gonna do as you
just hit the ground?

Oh, gosh.
They, like, slightly lift upand, like, rub their butt
because it hurts now. And theygo, I've got something better.
And they're going to use a adomain effect called, vicious
entangle. So what it is is I getto make a spell casting role
against a target within farrange. On a success, roots and

(08:36):
vines reach out from the groundand temporarily restrain them.

Oh, okay. What is the role that

So I have to spell cast role, I guess,
against

Is there a difficulty?

Right?

Typically for adversaries, adversaries are
given a difficulty number thatyou are rolling against. That is
both a number you need to beatfor spells and also the number
you need to beat to hit them.

Okay. I got a 9 with hope.

You wanna hear something really great?
Uh-huh. This guy's difficulty isan 8. Oh my god. So you do get
this guy

Oh my god.

Which is awesome because with hope,
whenever you succeed at a role,it is going to decrease your
countdown to get you closer. Butif you fail or roll with fear,
it decreases the quarry'snumber. But you rolled with
hope, which is really good. Soyou entangled this guy.

It also deals damage.

Oh, no.
What does it look like?

What does it look like that? So these thorny vines
shoot up from the ground andkinda, like, wrap around this
guy's ankle. Hopefully, as he's,like, gaining momentum, so he
just, like, flops kind offorward is what I'm saying.

That's really good. Does it give him the
restrained condition?

It does give him the restrained condition, and he
does take 5 damage.

Oh my god. So that'll be one point of HP. So,
you know, as a GM, sometimes youhave to decide in these moments
if what just occurred fitswithin the fiction at which you
need to do this anymore. And I'mgonna say that because it gives
it the restrained conditionthat, he hits the ground, bust
his chin, and is restrained,which means that his speed is 0,

(10:21):
which means y'all quickly catchup to him and the chase is over.
So, well, at least we learnedabout countdowns.
Yay. So this guy hits the groundand crank. You watch pistachio
get thrown onto the ground.Pistachio casts a spell, and you
see that your quarry getswrapped up and hits the ground.

(10:42):
Crank, you're still running fulltilt ahead.

Oh, yeah. I think Crank would have quickly
calculated the most efficientroute forward towards this guy
and just taken off at a fullsprint.

Oh, yeah.

And I'll just, like, kinda put the brakes on
when I see that happen. I'd be

like, sk sk sk sk sk sk sk sk
sk sk sk sk
sk sk sk sk

sk sk sk

sk to a stop and be like, oh, okay. Well,
stop in the name of the law.

Oh, he, yeah. You stop right in front of him
and say that, and he kinda looksat a chill with blood going down
his cheek. He says, you justkept I've got nothing wrong. I
don't know nothing wrong. Youcan't arrest me.

Well, technically, I'm not an officer
of the law, so I can't arrestyou anyway. But you seem to be
here unable to move. So Are

you impersonating a peacekeeper?

I literally just told you I wasn't a police
officer. So

That's I think that's, like, illegal.

I don't think that that's impersonating. I
think that's literally tellingyou that I'm not

Unhand me. Unhand me right now.

My my hands aren't on you.

Well, then hand me from these vines.

That's not my call. I do not make these vines.

Speaking of which, the other two approach
now. Kapi, as you walk up, yousee that, the bakery is a block
away. And who's out therewashing the windows? That's
garlic. Yeah.
She's not looking it over there,but because she's currently
washing windows.

He's he's gonna he first, he moves Crank and
Pistachio just, like, out of theway so that it's only Tappy in
the light of sight. He pumps outhis chastity.

Yeah. What's your strength again?

My strength? Hang on.

Pistachio is, like, limping to the scene. My
strength

is plus 0.

I don't think I moved. Yeah. I don't think you
can physically move me.

Oh, man.

You you
try and push crank. You justkinda push yourself a little
later. Right. Craig, can you

okay. What? What? Wait.

Take a step.

Unhand me. Please.

Jeez. I had me right now.

Take a step away.

And he yeah. And he, like, looks back to see if
she's looking. Does she see shedoesn't hear any of this?

I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna find out. Let's
find out. Here we go. I'mrolling a dice.
Okay. Okay. It is enough thatafter the yeah you that you yell
out, she turns and looks at youfor a moment and kind of is like
looks concerned and looks downat the guy and just looks kinda
worried, but sees you and kinda,like, waves a little bit.

Yeah. He stops and waves back. He's like, hi. Yeah.
Anne, stay down.
How dare you make trouble inthis town during the Apple
Festival the most important timein this town's year?

Oh my god. Okay. I want some kinda, like,
persuasion or, like, actuallyperformance. How much bravado do
you think you're putting intothis?

I mean, I do have plus 1 presence. It's

pretty good. I mean,

it's a lot.

Go ahead and He's trying

too hard.

Yeah. You you're trying really hard, but,
you know, go ahead and roll itwith advantage. Go ahead and
roll presence check withadvantage.

With advantage?

Yes. And so for those at home, hi. It's me,
your GM. It's a Colin Burns.It's so good to get to talk to
you like this.
Advantage and disadvantage mightbe familiar to some people, but
in Daggerheart, the what you aregoing to do is you're gonna go
ahead and roll your 2 d 12 asnormal. However, you will also
add a d 6 to that role.

K. Alright. D 12, 14, and It's really good. 5 on
the d 6.

Oh my god.

Do I still say with fear?

With hope or fear. Yes.

Okay. So so it's a 19 with fear.

So that is definitely a success, and so
what you see is Scarlett islooking over at you, and she's
watching you do this. And herresponse is she smiles and
chuckles a little bit. And I'mgonna say, she kinda laughs in
that way. That's tough to tellif she's laughing at you or with
you, but she still laughsnevertheless.

Oh, like, you have to toss me Kapi. Oh.

I thought you were gonna turn into a dodo
midair.

I Dodos can't fly.

Dodos can't fly.

Also, because you're old with fear, the guy
throws up on your shoes. That'smy GM move, is that he beeps on
your shoes.

Yeah. And then I, I assume Scarlet saw that. And
Yeah. Kapi doesn't feel goodthat she saw that. Now, Kapi
wishes that she wasn't lookinganymore.

But she still laughs. It's, like, kinda
lingering looking at you when hegoes back to Washington.

See, Craig, the reason I know that Kapi really
likes Scarlet is because healways acts, acts, like, a
little bit weird whenever he,like, sees her.

I've noticed that. It's so odd.

Yeah. Because normally, he's really, really
good at learning. I mean, didyou see him flirt with your mom?
I did.

That was really Wait a

minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait. Wait.

Oh, sorry.

I'm I'm kicking my shoes to get, like, the throw up
off. Yeah. And at the same time,I can't believe I'm talking to a
fun that drinks milk out of asilly straw and a robot that
thinks the librarian is theirmother.

Well, she told me that she would be.

And I love it. I do. I and that's hard.

Call people that isn't your mom mommy?

Oh my god.

Speaking of, where is speaking of, where is Efony?

Where is Efony? Speaking of mommy, Efony
runs up.

Speaking of mommy.

Efony runs up and gets down on one knee and,
like, kinda puts his handsbehind his back and says and
reads out, stay on the ground.Don't move and no one gets hurt.
Say whatever you want. It willbe held against you, but you can
keep saying it if you want, andthen cuffs him. She looks up at
the 3 of you and says, oh mygoodness.
Thank you so much for catchingthis guy. Oh my gosh.

What even happened?

Well, I talked to the owner of that
establishment. This guy wanderedin drunk and thought he was in a
bar and was arguing with peopleto give him a drink. And when
they wouldn't give him a drinkbecause they weren't a bar, he
shoved someone, and then anunrelated fight broke out
because of the spark ofviolence. And then he got thrown
out a window, and now theowner's really mad at him.

You see, Kapi? All people need is a little food
and maybe drink sometimes.

Do I recognize this fawn?

You don't, pistachio. You don't recognize
this guy?

So I'm pretty sure that, this guy isn't from
here. I know every single personin this town, and I'm pretty
sure this guy is not from here.

There's only one of you that recognizes this
guy. Frank, this is the same guythat spoke to you a week ago in
the library.

Oh, it was Sebastian, wasn't it? Your face
was covered with mud, so Icouldn't recognize you.

I was a .....

What happened between last week and today to
make you angry? Did you not haveany food?

I just need a drink. I saw I needed a drink.

So people like drinks too.

I do like drinks.

Well, you could have said that. I would have
brought you drinks.

Will you bring me a drink right now? And
Nephew kinda smacks him around abit and says, look, I need to
get this guy's statement, butthe can can I ask you a favor?
Can we go does the guild have,like, an office or somewhere
where we can talk to this guy?

Yeah. Kapi lives there.

Well, I mean, yeah. You know, they put me up.
They they need to keep me closeby in case something bad goes,
on. I'll give you a tour sometime. Yeah.
We can take them there.

Okay. Good. I just I need to get this guy's
statement and just figure outwhat happened. But the
interrogation room at thebarracks is currently being used
as storage, so we don't actuallyhave an interrogation room at
the peacekeepers HQ here. Andanyways, it's not important.
Lead the way, she says.

Yeah. And, he, is Scarlet still looking?

You see that Scarlet is, like, washing
windows, but still kinda, like,peeking over at you every so
often.

Yeah. He, like, peeks back as he walks the other
direction to go back towards theAvengers' Guild.

Whenever you're looking back, she's
washing the window. And whenevershe looks at you, you're
watching the leg. Your eyesdon't meet yet. But
nevertheless, you go back to theadventuring guild, and as you
step inside, you see Cyrus.Cyrus, once again, for those who
don't remember, Cyrus is thesort of the head of the Bracken
Road Adventuring Guild.
He's a big red simia. Imagine,like, Donkey Kong, but red fur.

(18:47):
He's got these, like, suspenderson some black slacks and a white
t shirt that's kinda stained.He's a little more sober today.
So he kinda sees the 4 of youwalk in, and he shoots a look at
you, Kapi, and says, kid, whatare you doing bringing the,
peacekeepers around here?

What happened here? There was a domestic
dispute outside of a building.

She's pretty. Kapi likes her.

Stachio? Hush now. Okay. Not in front of the kids.

You see Nephew blushes? I

Pistachio winks at you and gives you double
pistols, like, a big oldwingman.

Yes. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, they needed a
place to bring the criminaluntil we can get things to
settle down. Take a quickstatement.
I don't think it should probablytake more than and he looks at
nothing. 5th

angel. Well, I gotta yeah. Maybe just, like,
30 minutes to an hour.

It's, like, 30 minutes to an hour, Cyrus. So
Okay.

Well, kid, you can probably use the break
room. Just, you know, go gentle.And if you need any tips on how
to interrogate somebody, let meknow.

Yes, sir.

Stephanie looks at the 2 of you. It says,
I don't know if interrogation isanyways, let's show me to the
break room, please.

Yeah. Absolutely. Kapi is, like, cracking his
knuckles in his neck as he walksin.

Yeah. So this is, this is the room. There's,
the chair, and there's thetable.

And there's where we keep our lunches, and there's
where we put our jackets, andthere's where I brought some
nice flowers from the garden.And there is the box of pastries
that Craig breaks every morning.And there is a piece of toast
that somebody's half eaten, andthere's a half drink bottle of
rye whiskey that's probablyCyrus. And then they just keep

(20:28):
Now

what else is in there, Festacchio? What
else is in the room?

And that's an anthill that somehow caught
here, and that's a weird stainon the floor that makes me think
it's blood. And that one'sprobably apple juice, and that
is mold, I think, they need toget caught. Okay.

Nice to meet you. You see you see the 4 of
you, are on one side of thetable. You see, Nephew has sort
of put this guy, this old fawninto a chair. His hands are
behind his back cuffed, and sheis sort of standing with all of
you in a corner and says, okay.I need to get a statement from
this guy, but, Pistachio, Ioverheard you saying you don't

(21:07):
recognize this guy, so he's fromout of town?

He is totally from out of town.

He's,

one of the local fuds.

Okay. I have a very important question for
the 3 of you.

Okay.

Has anyone ever interrogated anymore
before? We should probably askyou some questions about the
tier.

Specialize in interrogation. Do you really?
Yes. Okay. Kapi's lying.
But she really wants to impress.

And she really wants to believe that. So
she's like, okay. Well, I'll letall of you take lead. I'll just
write down what he says. Just,like, ask him, you know, why
he's in town, why he caused aruckus, see what you can get out
of him.
But, yeah, if you could just ifthis if the 3 of you do that,
I'll write notes.

Yeah. Perfect. K. Hey, gang, quick huddle

Yeah.

Just so we have a game plan.

Yes.

Yeah. He points to Efony. Is it Efony?

It's Nepony. Nepony.

He points to Nepony. One one second. Can we
just huddle really quick? Yes.We all huddle, and the camera's,
like, inside pointing up at allof our heads.
Okay. So I need, no matter howthis goes, for you to make it
look like I'm really good atthis. Okay? Okay. Crank?

My god.

Okay. I'll do my best.

Perfect. So here's what I'm thinking. Right? We do
a good cop, incompetent cop, andbad cop situation. Okay?

Okay. I'll be the bad cop.

Well

I've always wanted to be a

bad cop. Good cop, but that makes Kapi the
incompetent cop.

Wait. I well,
regroup, gang. Focus. I thinkthat we should,

Oh, you wanna be the good cop.

Well, I I

And Crank's the incompetent cop, so I'd still
get to be the bad cop. What timeis it? Oh, it's almost 10.

It's actually really late in the day, you
guys. Yeah. It's actually lateat night.

I told you it'd get a little weird.

Yeah. So who wants to go first?

So are we cool with the I

what do you want me who wants to go first to
interrogate? Do you want me togo first?

I'll go first. Okay. And I'm just gonna pull up
a chair. K. I'm gonna put itdown across from him.
I'm gonna sit down

Sit in it backwards.

Like a teacher.
Sure. Sure. Yeah. I'll put itacross from him backwards, and
I'll just straddle it.Sebastian, I need you to help me
help you.

I need a lawyer.

I don't think we have any lawyers in this
town, unfortunately. You don't

have a you don't have a
you don't have defense lawyersin this town?

We don't have any sort of law practice.
Oh, dear. Yeah. Sorry.

I always do this.

Law and order isn't really a thing we do.

These backwards towns. Look.

Why don't you just tell us what happened? You
know, if you tell the truth,everything will be fine.

Well, you know
remind me your name again.

Oh, my name is Crank. You don't remember my
name? We we spoke at length. Ithought we were

friends.
Sorry. I remember. I remember. Iwas it was not the best
conversation on my end is what Iremember. I remember shaking my
foot in my mouth a few times.
You don't need anything. So youwouldn't understand what I'm
about to say to you, clams, isthat I needed I was I was having
a I was on a run. I was having agood time. I needed a little

(24:25):
walk me down. And so I went intoa bar, and I asked to top me off
with some of that Bracken Cider.
And the man had the audacity tolook at me and say, this isn't a
bar. This is a bank.

Well, Sebastian, it wasn't a bar.

No. It was clearly a bar called The Bank. I
went in. There were there was arow. There was a there was a bar
in front.
There were people behind it.They had the safety glass so
that people don't sneeze on thedrinks. There are people in line
waiting for drinks. There aremultiple bartenders.

You really shouldn't drink the liquid from
that. Please tell me he didn'tdrink the liquid from that.

Kapi slams in on the table. Listen. What's your
name, Sebastian?

That's my name. Yes. Sebastian. Yeah. This
is my vest.
It's a nice vest. Sebastian,

I'm gonna be frank with you. I don't wanna draw
this out. The robot that you'refriends with is a monster
literally designed to kill. Thiswhole I bring you baked goods
really only works until you geton its bad side. Now, Sebastian
Okay.
I want to help you. Help me helpyou help crank to help you. I

(25:40):
don't know if I'm talking.Question. Okay.
Why are you in our town? Wehaven't seen you.

Well, I am here for some business. I see.
I'm here for the Apple Festival.The Apple Festival is happening
in a few days. You're here for

the Apple Apple Festival.

Yeah. I just got here
a little,

How convenient. What's your favorite apple?

Cracking apples. So he says

So spend a hope to take advantage on a role you
make to deceive or trick someoneinto the wait. Hang on. Check.
Oh. Hang on.
I know I have a move abouttrying to persuade bad guys. Oh.
Rogue's Hope. Nope. Mm-mm.

Kapi's gone real strong, and then Kapi

is, like, a scoundrel. You have advantage on
any roles where you'renegotiating with criminals,
detecting lies, or finding asafe place to hide. Oh. So I
would like to use my slyborncommunity feature, scoundrel, to
detect a lie. Oh,

that's really good. Go ahead and make that
role as with advantage.

Right. So would the role be presence?

I'm gonna say this is probably instinct.

Instinct?

Yeah. Because you're trying to, like,
instinctually tell. Think about,like, insight and all. Is this
kinda like a vibe check?

Oh, yeah. It says perceive right here under
instinct. Yeah. That's whyyou're our GM as a Colin Burn.

That's right.

My instincts are plus 0.

K. Here we go. With advantage.

Oh, that's right. With advantage. So that's, 23
with hope.

Holy 23 with oh my god. That's so high.
That's such a high number. Can'tbe clearly the way that this guy
said those things, you canimmediately tell that it's a
lie. I think, though, that asyou're looking at this guy,
you're trying to suss outintentions.
You're trying to suss out,what's this guy after? And

(27:29):
there's something that yourecognize pretty quickly.
Obviously, he's not here for theApple Festival. He's definitely
here for a different reason.Something you pick up on,
though, Kapi, is that you havespent many years around someone
who we can all confidently sayhas a bit of alcoholism.
Cyrus definitely has a problem.You've seen Cyrus.

Mhmm.

Means you've seen someone, a high functioning
alcoholic. This guy is fakingit.

Wait a minute. And Kapi gets, like, inches in his
face away from his nose. Like,they're touching noses. Oh my.
Oh, dear.
Why did you puke on my shoes

if you weren't actually drunk?

I'm very well, I'm I'm Kapi flips the table.

Woah. Oh, they're he's very good at being
competent.

Stephanie says, oh, oh my.

I'm cool. I'm cool. This guy is faking it.
He's not drunk.

No. I'm very drunk, can't you tell?

I'll take care of him, boss, and pistachio will
step up and say, you have 30seconds to tell us what you
want, or I'm gonna get weird.

What does that mean?

What does that mean? Wanna see some weird. I
don't? You don't.

They blink, and they blink again. And they blink
one more time, and then theylower their head.

Okay.

And as they do, they start to beast form, and
one eyeball pops out. 2 eyeballspop out. A long beak pops out as
multiple wings pop out andmultiple legs pop out as we have
a dodo spider.

Oh, I told

you. Open their mouth, and they just go

I did warn you.

Kapi holds Nephenny in case
she she's scared.

And they just, like, start crawling really
weirdly toward this.

Guy. He, his eyes go wide. He says, okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Stop it. Get that thingaway from me. Get that thing.
I'll tell get that thing awayfrom me.
Look. Oh my god. Get it awayfrom me. Get get it away.

And they emit instantly pop out and go, I told
you.

What the by the circles below. What was
that?

I get your ass warm.

Oh, that was right in my ear. Yeah. If you
flicks my ear, I don't likethat. Okay. Okay.
You got me. You got me. Okay.You're right. I'm not really
drunk.

So what are you doing? What is this, the
charade? I just wanted to have afun time. Just realized that
this is a distraction, like, ashe was asking. And I picture
that if you are watching this ina scene, you would see that
realization come over his faceas he was asking.

(30:16):
Guys, he wants us to be here.This is a setup.

Why is he really into

He turns back to, Nephew, you need to get to your
other peacekeepers now.Something's going on.

You see, Nephew looks at you. Her eyes go
wide. And she says, what do youwhat do you mean? What's going
on? You think something's afoot?

Do I
think some he just he's clearlyfaking being drunk, which means
he clearly faked thealtercation, which means he
wanted all of this to happen,which means while you, the
peacekeeper, and us are heredealing with him, something is
happening out there.

We need to get the logging camp.

We need to check the bakery and then the logging.
The bakery is a staple of thisCrank, don't look at me like
that. The bakery is a staple ofthis town, and if it is not
okay, then the Apple Festival isnot okay. I'm trying to protect
this town's legacy.

Well, if we're protecting this town's legacy,
then we also need to check-inthe library.

Lady, a ticket to the logging camp. That's what
she was supposed to be workingon.

I'm sorry. I don't remember there being a library
or logging camp festival in aweek. We need to check on the
Apple Bakery.

Okay. I left Nathaniel at the I'm gonna go
check on him, and then we'll goto the headquarters. And she
runs off, and the guy, in thechair stands up. The cuffs,
like, fall to the ground, and hesays, yes. You're right.
And I'm leaving. And he throws asmoke bomb on the ground, and it

Can I try and tackle him?

Yeah. Make a, let's say, agility check for me.

Oh

god. That is not their expertise. It is a 17 with
fear.

Oh, a 17 with fear. Okay. So that means I get
so that will succeed. A 17 willsucceed. To be clear, the
difficulty, it was much higherthis time because as Kapi
astutely found out, this guy wasacting.
So you tackle this guy,pistachio, and as you do so, you

(32:10):
hit the ground, and you've gothim. You've got him held. And he
whispers, bad move, kid.

Uh oh

That's great.

I know.

Does a 9 beat your evasion?

Your pistachio is a little little guy. I will use

I am your shield to take whatever damage
the pistachio is supposed totake.

A quick question for you, though.

Yeah.

Do you have to see

It just says when an ally very close to you
is going to take damage.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, wow.

And as I do it, I'm just gonna look in
Sebastian's eyes, and I'm gonnasay, I'm very disappointed in
you.

You can see this guy's eyes, and you
recognize they are much morelucid than you saw them earlier
today. In fact, I would alsotell you that they're much more
lucid than when you talked tohim in the library as you feel a
dagger stab into your arm for 16damage.

I'll reduce that by 5 because I'm a
guardian, because that's 11,which is major damage. I'll use
an armor slot to mark it down tominor.

Kapi is a rogue. Yeah. So just generally, I
think, good at hiding and beingin the shadows. And I think Kapi
is standing back watching thishappen. I I picture that when
Pistachio dove, he actuallyinitially tried to stop
Pistachio, and Pistachio justwent right through.
So now that all of this hastranspired, he just he looks at
Pistachio, and he looks atCrank, and he just wants them

(33:40):
out of this situation. So he,like, pulls them off. I wanna
try I know my strength is plus0, but I would like to try to
pull them off and actually letthis guy get away. Oh, okay.
Because I have a bad vibe onwhat's going on.
I'm also Kapi has a lot ofthings going on. He wants to
check the bakery. He doesn'twant the adventurers guild to
get destroyed because Cyrus isgonna be pissed, and he low key

(34:03):
wants to protect these 2.

He cares.

You can't prove it.

So, yeah, go ahead. Give me a strength check
to try and pull them away.

Okay. My strength is plus 0.

Here we go. Big moment.

Come on, baby. It's a 19 with fear.

IT with fear.

That's a huge.

That will I'm gonna say that is definitely
high enough that Crank andPistachio, you feel Kapi's
hands?

I imagine I use the leverage from Crank healing
or taking the blow fromPistachio to, like Mhmm. Pull
pull them away.

Kapi, what are you doing? Hey.

He doesn't say anything.

Kapi, let me

He just looks right at, Sebastian.

This guy's gonna get away. Kapi, what are you
doing?

You see, because you rolled with fear, as
you pull them away, this guy hasvery fast reflexes. And so as as
you pull this guy away, heclearly is very trained and had
eyes on the exits. And he knowsthe same thing you know, which
is that there are 2 exits tothis room. There's the window,
and then there's the hallway.Now problem with the hallway is

(35:09):
that there's a big dude outthere, and the window is
probably easily breakable.
So you see that this guy, in onehand, you can barely make out a
long knife that Cabbie, youmight not really recognize just
how bad this thing is, butspeaking of vibes, you can tell
that thing. This is not justlike a shiv. Mhmm. This is a

(35:29):
nice knife. He pulls somethingout of his pocket and throws it
at the window.
The window shatters, and hejumps out the window, and is
gone.

Is Kapi still holding on to Pistachio?

He is. And and Crank.

Pistachio's, like, trying to kick like, puh
puh. Kapi, let me go. That guy'sgetting away.

Pistachio, we'll get him next time.

But he's going down.

Crank, talk to your best friend.

Crank with Pistachio, he tried to stab you.
We'll we'll get him later.

Crank or Pistachio, listen to me. Okay? I
know that you're brave, and Iknow you wanna be strong. But
Crank is not always gonna behere to take your damage.

You gotta be more careful.

What?

And he turns around and walks back out the
door.

You walk back out, and, you see Cyrus is
standing there. He's got, Cyrushasn't walked a lot. Cyrus has a
bit of a limp, and so he's got,like, a cane in one hand. He's
sort of leaning on it as he'sstanding in the middle of the
room and looks at Jill and says,everybody okay, kid?

Yeah. Everyone's okay.

Pistachio looks at Crank. How is Crank doing?

I'm fine. I just have 1 HP.

Woah.

You have 1 HP?

I just No. I took 1.

Oh, no.

I thought you looked at No.

No. I've got 5. I'm good. Crank, so

you looked down at your arm. You looked
down at your arm, and where thatknife struck you, you are made
of metal. And so nothing elsereally happened, but you're
seeing this black stickysubstance on your arm where that
struck.

Does it look like magic?

It no. It does not look magical,
unfortunately.

I just examine it, and I, like, flip through
all my archive of magic books.And I'm like, not magic.

Oh, make a knowledge check for me.

Can I also look at Crank's arm? Because I think
it's poison.

Yeah. But I think pistachio would be
concerned

about that. A crit double ones.

Oh. Well, pistachio, you don't even have
to worry about it because,Crank, you actually read a book
on poisons. And that's a crit.That's really good. Okay.
You're looking at this poison,and this is a poison that is not
for killing. It's forrestraining. This is a

(37:40):
paralytic. So you know that if aperson who, you know, had not
metal for skin had come intocontact with this, there's a
strong chance for it to lock uptheir joints so that they cannot
move. You know, it's not oftenused by assassins is the one
thing that you do know.
It is often used by, for thosein espionage to try and get away

(38:05):
from things, to try and freezeup people. It's also used
sometimes by law enforcement,but it was made illegal about 5
years ago to use it.

Craig, are you okay? Thanks for saving me.

Oh, yes. I'm fine. I think it would have been
much worse if you had gottenstabbed by that knife.

Oh, what is it?

So it's some kind of a poison. You know? In
one of my magic books, there wasa small chapter on poison, and I
think that this poison is meantto disable people.

That's poison knife? They look after Kapi and
then look at you and go. And,like, there's, like, this
dawning realization that theyalmost really got messed up. And
you almost see, like, themshrink into themselves as the
realization that this could havebeen real bad. And they just go
quiet.

I think Crank recognizes that and just, like,
pats you on the shoulder andsays, you know, as long as I'm
here, I'll protect you.

Thank you, Crank.

Kapi is just, like, a little ways away
watching this.

Mhmm.

And that's all. He's just watching it. Just
watching.

Frank, I'm sorry for putting you into danger, but
I'm glad you're my best friend.

I don't think it's you who put me into danger,
miss Tasha. I think I was justmade to be in danger.

You like being made for danger?

I don't know. I've never known anything else.

Maybe one day, Crank, you and I can go on a
hike and I'll show you the farmanimals and all of the other
things that life has when you'renot in danger.

I would like that, pistachio. Thank you.

Guess we should go check on Kapi and bakery and
stuff.

Yeah. We really need to figure out what's going
on.

So the 3 of you leave, you're venturing
guilds. As you step out on thestreets, where do you go?

What do you do? In what order are the things that
are important? Well, so I assumethe log cabin or the cabin what
is it?

The, logging camp up north.

I assume the logging camp is the farthest
away. Mhmm. And then in whatorder, if you're leaving the
adventures guild, are thelibrary and then bakery?

That's a great question, actually.

I think, we established in the first, one
that the library is reallyclose.

Usually, like, the library

is next door. So okay. So if it's the Adventurers
Guild, you walk out. I pictureyou take a right. There's the
library on your right hand side.
Across the street from that isthe building where that
kerfuffle happened.

The bank.

Down the street from there, a lot of good ways
further is the bakery on theleft.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For the cryptographers at
home.

I don't know why this

is important. This is very
well, this is good.
This is good. Now we'reestablishing the map.

Okay. Frank, let's go check on your mom, and then
let's check on the bakery. Thenwe'll go make sure that
Nefanie's okay, then we'll gocheck on the logging cam. Sound
good?

Yeah.

Keep your eyes out. Something's not right here.

I'm gonna be a dodo. Okay?

Why?

Aw. I'm scared.

Kid, look, I'm I'm sorry. Okay? I didn't I I don't

people, how do you communicate the,

I just didn't want anything to happen to you. Okay?

Wait. Really?

Yeah. I don't alright. And you're very brave.
You took

you did way more damage to that eel gator a week
ago than I did. Alright? I don'tthink that you can't handle
yourself. I just

You didn't want me to get hurt?

No.

Do you care about me, Kapi?

I listen, kid, and he, you know, chips you on the
chin and then gets up. Why don'tyou just stay pistachio? That's
how I like you best, and thenkeeps walking.

Pistachio leap and goes up to crate and goes,
Kapi said he likes me.

Wait. He likes you?

He likes me. No. Like likes me likes me. I mean,
he's not flirting in theNetherlands.

With him. He tends to like like everyone.

Well, he hasn't tried to flirt with me yet, and
I'm kind of okay with that. He'snot really my type. He's a lot
of people's type. Like, I'm kindof worried to introduce him to
my mom.

Oh my goodness. Speaking of Almond,
you head over to the bakery. Yousee Scarlett is not outside
washing the window right now.

Does the bakery seem to be okay and in one
piece?

Yeah. Bakery's okay.

Okay. Alright. You guys just hang here real quick.
Okay? And Kapi's gonna go aroundthe building, and there's
probably a secret not a secret,but, like, a ladder up to the
roof where probably him andScarlet would hang out a long
time ago.
It's just gonna go up there andjust, like, make sure that
everything's good. I assume inthe bakery, there's, like, a
glass window thing Mhmm. Like,from Hey Arnold. I don't know.

(42:49):
That's not a picture in, like,the sunroof or sunroof or

sunroof yourself again.

I know. Right? I know. No.

I know what
you're talking about. It's likea skylight.

A skylight. Yeah. So I it's a good way for him to
just make sure that everything'sfine from the inside too. Yeah.
So yeah.

To date ourselves less, it's like the
entrance to, the second palacein Persona 5. Am I right? That's
right, Matarabe. Let's go.Sorry.
That's

probably Kapi. I didn't

So you go out there, Kapi, and you look
around. Sure enough, you know,it's one of those classic roofs.
And, yeah, it's, it looksactually, give me a give me a
give me a roll to look around,which we'll say is is I'm really
making Kapi roll a bunch today.I'm so sorry.

God's presence?

We'll say No. We'll say instinct. Yeah. Make
an instinct roll as you're up.

My instincts plus 0.

Oh, here we go. This is awesome.

That is a 10 with fear.

10 with fear. Okay. I'm gonna bank that fear.
No GM fear. K.
But a 10 is high enough tonotice that there is nothing
really amiss. But one thing thatyou do notice, Kapi, is that
while you're up here, thatobviously, it's outside. So
there's a lot of dirt up on theroof, and there's a spot on the

(44:04):
roof that you and Scarlett wouldalways sit. And as you look over
there, you notice that the sortof dirt and grime that's up here
makes it look like someone stillcomes up here consistently, but
it looks like only one person isever up here.

Yeah. I think Kapi just looks around for a second.
At least feels better thateverything's okay Yeah. For now.
And, yeah, probably takes amoment to remember stuff, and
then quickly shakes it off and,arms back down.

As you get down to the bottom of the
stairs, you see Carol is waitingfor you and says

Oh, fuck. Carol, you gotta wear a bell or
something. Excuse me? Sorry,Carol. It's it's been

a day. Up on the roof.

I was checking on this bakery. What were you doing
right here?

We heard footsteps on the roof. Okay. We
thought someone was trying tobreak in.

Yes. I am official adventures guild. He points to
the a on his jacket.

There was adventuring business up there.
Right?

Needed to check on there's a lot. Okay, Carol. Can
we just okay? Okay. Okay.

Alright.

Alright.

Bye.

Bye. Kisses. Ugh.

Yeah, Craig. So I think Wally is really good
friends with Scarlet. So maybeif I, like, talk to him, I could
find out ways that, like, Kapiand Scarlet might be able to get
together. Maybe that's what Icould do as a thank you for a
liking bee. Sounds like a goodplan.
Yeah.

What are we talking about?

Oh, hi, Kapi.

Hi. Alright. What's next?

They need to go check on my mom.

Uh-oh. Yeah. We kinda went past the library to
come here. So, yeah. We shouldcome back to the library.

Yeah. It was important that we would come
here first.

Of course.

Yeah.
Of course. That makes sense.

You run back to the library and, I

just opened the door and put my head in. Mom,
are you okay?

Oh, yes, dear. Is everything alright? I
heard there was a kerfuffle outthere
an hour ago you ran off to. Iseveryone okay?

There was a kerfuffle. There might be some
espionage. Just stay inside andstay safe, and then I'll deck my
head out and close the door.

Oh, it must be so
fun being an adventurer.Espionage.
She thinks that's adorable asyou step back out out of the
street.

Mom's okay.

Okay. Cool. Since the log camp is on the way, my
house is also, like, slightly tothe north. I guess we should
just, like, peep it and makesure everything is cooked there.
I don't think they'd go to a nutfarm.
It's the apple festival. So,like but, you know, just a case.

Is your mom there?

My dad might be home.

Mhmm. Mhmm.

And your mom?

Mhmm.
Cathy, you're not gonna meet mymom.
Okay.

Well, you could meet their dad. Maybe

you could

meet their dad.

Dad. He does like criminals.

I'm not a criminal. I'm a member of the
Adventurers' Guild.

Yeah. Right.

Alright. Let's go check on Pistachio's
family. You go towards the droopfarm. And as you head on over,
you cross through the boundariesof town through one of the
gates, and you walk up the dirtroad, and there's someone
running towards y'all from thefarm. Pistachio, you see that
it's Hazel.

(47:12):
Hazel is running towards youall.

Oh, hey, Hazel.

She's waving her arms at you Oh, hi. Over her
head. As she runs closer andcloser, she's like, pistachio.

Oh, hey, Hazel. How are you doing?

We need help.

We need

to get to the farm.

Oh, gosh.

Well, try to take on. Thank the 9. You're all
here. Oh. There's somethingattack in the farm.

Oh, gosh. Really?

It's big, and it's like a bug, and it's
vomiting acid everywhere. Oh,that

was no. That's an acid burrow.

Oh, gosh. Oh, man.

Trying to save it off. Can you do do you
have weapons or something? Couldyou stop it?

Yeah. I yeah. We could stop it. Yes, Hazel. We
could do it.
You have pitchforks on the barn?

I don't know.

Oh, well We

don't have pitchforks. We we do nuts.

Oh, yeah. That's true. That's that's true. That
was, yeah. I should know what wehave.
Sorry.

It's actually we're wasting precious time.

I'm sorry, Hazel. Wait. Go.

You run off towards the farm. And as you do
so, that is where we're gonnaend this episode of DodoBorne.
Tune in next time when we findout what's gonna happen at
Pistachio's House. Thank you somuch again for listening to this
podcast. Hey, everybody.
It's me, your GM, and now I'm nolonger your GM now. I'm just a

(48:20):
guy talking to you from thegreat beyond, from the ether.
And, you know, we've done about5 episodes of this by now, maybe
5 or 6, and it's been a lot offun. But I did just wanna stop
and say thank you so much forthe support that we've seen so
far. Firstly, we'd like to thankDarrington Press for creating
this game.
We've had a lot of fun. Me,personally, I come from a lot of
5th edition, and there's a lot Ireally love about Dagger Hunter.

(48:42):
I'm really glad they made thisgame. I'm really excited to see
where it goes. We wanna send aspecial thanks to Gojemode and
to Joe's wife for creating theDodoBorne theme song.
Yeah. That's right. That wasactually sung by someone we
know. Isn't that crazy? Isn'tthat awesome?

That's right. Joe's wife.

That's right. Joe's wife, Joe's better half.

It's a bop.

It's a bop. Finally, we thank Rowan Collins
for the incredible art that youcan find on our socials. That's
right. And artiste. They're sogood.
Finally, there are a couple ofpeople who are fans of the show.
There's a couple of people whohave, really been shouting us
out. We wanna thank Perseveranceon Tik Tok. Wanna thank Josh m
9058 on YouTube. Yeah.
I wanna thank Debbie Joshi onYouTube. Thank you all so much

(49:25):
for the support. It's soexciting to know people really
love what we're putting outthere. It's very validating.
And, also, if you're listeningto this and if you've, you've
made it this far, we just wannathank you all so much for
listening.
we just wanna please ask. Wewanna beg. We we are on our
hands and knees looking up,begging you. If you don't mind,
you can just rate and review thepodcast 5 stars on your

(49:47):
podcaster of choice. That woulddo a lot.
That would really help us out.We'd so appreciate it. Like,
comment, subscribe, hit thatbell. Hit that like button. Hit
the hit the share button.
Hit the repost.
Are
there any I'm missing?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Well Hit the outro music.

Hit the outro music. Hey. It's a podcast.

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