March 20, 2025 • 27 mins
Charles and Tesa Daniels offer practical guidance on navigating disagreements in marriage without causing lasting damage to your relationship. They share personal experiences and biblical wisdom on how to fight fair while maintaining connection and respect.
• Stop trying to win arguments and focus instead on understanding your spouse
• Words can't be unsaid, so be careful with what you say during disagreements
• Learn to recognize when emotions are running high and take a peaceful pause
• Consider timing and your spouse's headspace before bringing up difficult topics
• Prayer changes how you approach conflict by softening your heart first
• The goal isn't to be right but to preserve connection and unity in your marriage
• Learn to discern between what needs to be said and what should be withheld
• Fighting fair requires respecting your spouse as much as you would others in your life
• Recognize when the enemy might be trying to disrupt your unity through conflict
Remember that disagreements are normal in every relationship, but maintaining love and connection matters more than making your point or being right.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
even the questions you mentioned of evaluating.
Would I say this to a friendwould I say this to a co-worker
would.
I say this to my supervisor.
You know, we talked about thatbefore.
Would I?
Would I talk to my supervisorlike this?
Would I talk to somebody elselike this, then why, when I get
home, do I drop my guard andjust say whatever to my spouse
the person that God has ordainedfor me to be with, to do life
(00:21):
with, to build, build somethingwith.
Why would I do that?
Welcome to Doing it With theDaniels, the podcast where we
navigate life, marriage andministry.
I'm Charles.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
And I'm Tisa.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Join us as we share insights, wisdom and practical
advice to strengthen yourmarriage, empower your life and
enrich your ministry.
Let's dive in together anddiscover the joys of doing it
with the Daniels.
Hey, welcome to Doing it Withthe Daniels, where we help
couples get it on in life,marriage and ministry.
So glad to have you back withus today.
(00:54):
What's up, baby?
How you doing?
You doing all right?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm good, how are?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
you, you look good oh we're good.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I feel a little tired .
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I appreciate that.
That's all right.
We've been busy.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Well, you look good too.
Come on, you like me, you're socrazy?
You like me, don't, you I do.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Come on, that's what's up.
I like you too.
Oh, you're so sweet, you wantto go out later, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
You got to do what I want to do though.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I've been doing that.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
20 years money, oh jesus.
All right, come on, come on,let's, let's get going.
What are we talking about today?
Today, we are talking about howto fight fair without
destroying your marriage how tofight fair without destroying
marriage.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Wow, that's awesome.
Listen.
I want to.
I want to take a minute beforewe jump into this, this show,
and just thank all of ourviewers.
Thank y'all for watching.
Thank y'all for participating.
Uh, make sure, if this, ifyou're new to this podcast or
somebody shared with you, makesure you like and subscribe and
turn your notifications on soyou always get updated when
doing it with the danielsreleases a new episode.
(01:54):
We try to release a new episodeevery thursday and we want you
to join in.
All right, this is going tohelp you help your marriage,
help relationship if you'resingle.
Thank you for the singles thathave reached out to us and told
us that this, this podcast, hasbeen beneficial to you.
Uh, we will continue to give asmuch as we can so you can grow
and get ready for your marriedlife, if that's what you want,
right yes all right, let's jumpin.
(02:16):
I just wanted to say, I justfelt led to say that you know
people watch and they come inand let us know they view us and
man, that's, that means a lotyeah it does means a lot.
I appreciate that, all right.
Well, let's get rolling what wegot here.
So we're talking about how tofight fear that's a big deal,
because you know it or how todisagree.
How to disagree?
Yeah, you can, and, and everycouple is going to have
disagreement, it's good can'tuse the word fight.
(02:37):
Yeah, you're not really fightingyeah you're just having
disagreements within, within therelationship, and and you're
going to have that it it oftenstarts out like with something
seemingly small, a little thingthat you're talking about, that
then erupts yeah it starts outreally small.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
You think about something like when you're when
you're arguing, it's somethingsmall, but then something bigger
comes out down the line becauseit it brings up other things
you know from the past thatyou're not even expecting.
So it's always those littlethings.
Then it ends up to be somethingbig.
That goes on.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, you know, emotion starts running high.
And then the next thing, youknow, you reaching way back,
pulling out something, sayingstuff that you never intended to
say.
Didn't even know that theconversation was going to go
there yeah but now you off inthis whole situation and what
ends up happening is that weflip from discussing whatever
(03:36):
that small thing was to it blowsup to now.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I got to prove to you that I'm right right, right,
and I think the the thing issometimes we make the argument
about winning yes and not aboutunderstanding our spouse yes, so
when?
We make it about winning, thenwe're losing something bigger
yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
So I think the main point right here is first point
they should really grab is stoptrying to win, and I feel like
we've said that before differentthings, but I think it's worth
reiterating over and over again,because it's easy to go back to
, to that winning mentality Iwant to win, I want to dominate,
I want to say what I want tosay and I feel like you should
(04:14):
listen to hear me yeah, I thinkyou have to be intentional yeah
you know with your, when you umargue or disagree, that you
don't so focus so much onwinning, and it takes time.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
So that's why it needs to be reiterated over and
over again, because you know,even for you, you didn't just
stop.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You know winning the arguments y'all gotta throw me
out it took.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
It took a little time for you to practice that and
work on um not winning andactually listening to me,
listening to what I was sayingand not having your, your, all
your facts, you know, laid out.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Yeah, I find that that when you said facts having
to learn how to navigate betweenfacts or being right and really
respecting your feelings in theprocess- respecting your
feelings.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, in the process.
Yeah, I'll for you.
I was back then.
I would say marriage is not adebate club, mr Daniels because
I felt like, after so much of uswhen we were disagreeing, I
feel like I was in a debate, youknow, with you and I was like,
okay, so what I'm saying doesn'tmatter, my feelings don't
matter.
Um, it was just like we're justgoing back and forth just
debating with each other andreally not listening to what I
(05:31):
was saying, and so I just feltunheard and felt like you know,
what I'm saying is not valid andit doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, yeah, and I just didn't know that being I'm
just going to say it beinginsensitive to how it made you
feel in those moments, you know,just not really caring, caring
more about being right, gettingmy point across and and you just
kind of agreeing with me.
And it wasn't until you agreedwith me or just didn't want to
(06:02):
have a conversation anymore thatI was like, okay, well, it's
over, I won.
You know, you realize thatwhatever you was talking about
wasn't about anything and what Iwas saying is what matters, and
you just decided to let it go,but not knowing that that it was
doing more damage to youremotions or your feelings, even
towards me yeah, I wish youwould have listened what we just
(06:22):
started thinking about.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
How do I prove my point?
Like, stop, don't.
Don't think about how to proveyour point, but just really just
listen to what I had to say.
Yeah, in that in those momentsand I didn't feel like I didn't
feel like what I was saying wasvalid, I didn't feel like you
cared it.
Just it was just kind ofinsensitive.
Yeah.
You know, it's like I, I'm right, and it is what it is.
(06:45):
And so in those moments, youknow, and I think that's when
some couples go to the shutdown,or the other spouse they will
go to a shutdown moment and theyjust they don't know what to
say, they don't know how tocommunicate because they don't.
They feel so unheard.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
And that's why a lot of people do that.
Absolutely, I totally agree.
I think one of the biggestissues navigating into kind of
what you're saying is is is whenyou when you I guess I'll make
the point like this when you aretrying to win, being unheard
becomes an issue right?
So now you put your spouse andyour partner in a position where
(07:28):
they have to fight two battlesright yeah.
So what are those two battles?
You know that you feel like,when you're navigating through,
that I'll just say when you'renavigating through, you have to
fight those two battles.
You have to fight for the issueat hand whatever the debate,
whatever the disagreement wasabout, and now also, you had to
fight to be heard.
Yeah, because me putting factsout there or put trying to prove
(07:52):
my point was overridinganything you were feeling or
anything you were saying, yeah,so now the issue is the issue
and I've created another issuein how you feel, right, and now
you're fighting for me to listenand understand, like you
mentioned earlier understandwhat you're feeling and how you
feel about the thing, and I'velearned that in the course of
(08:14):
our marriage, being married toyou a lot of things have been
about me having to understandhow you feel about it.
It's not always about the factsand the rationale because men
are logical thinkers, what makessense?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
sense, you come to the table with the facts.
These are the facts, this isthis and this is that, and I'm
like, but listen to what I'msaying you know the facts are
the facts, but what I feel issomething totally different yeah
, yeah, I remember when I put uson that tight budget.
If the facts, the numbers madesense, the the budget made sense
, everything made sense, but youdidn't think about me in that
(08:48):
moment.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
As a woman.
I did not, and how you wouldfeel living in such tight
constraints.
Although it was a good thingand it was us getting out of
debt, it still was tight, verytight, and as a woman I had to
realize, wait, my wife need herhair done, she need her nails,
she needs to be able to goshopping sometimes and you just
have to learn and realize, hey,you can't be so tight.
(09:10):
So I had to give a little bit.
I had to extend and be like well, our debt payoff plan will
extend out a little bit and it'sokay if my wife is in a good
place and I'm showing her that Ivalue her feelings and her
thoughts about this process nowI can.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
You know I could do without the nails, but the hair
I was like you had to sacrifice.
I could sacrifice some, somethings, but you know um, but you
, you didn't consider.
I had to sacrifice on thistight, strict budget and I was
like who can breathe?
I can't do nothing.
But but that was a growing timefor us.
You know we got pictures andmemories from you rolling my
(09:47):
hair and all of that.
So you know, some good thingscame out of it.
But I think we learned in thatmoment doing that process too.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And and I mean even navigatingthrough these disagreements,
these arguments or whatever um,once it gets heated it it can
become really, reallychallenging, because everybody's
not like this.
Some people are.
I think I don't, I think I havea grasp, I think you, a little
(10:16):
bit more so, can get to.
Some stuff will fly out who youknow, you start taking shots
yeah, and you best around.
Say something like it goes touh, you always do.
It's like wait a minute, we'retalking about this one yeah how
do we get to you?
always and you, and then youknow you start accusing your
spouse you just don't care, areyou just?
(10:39):
And now you start to put wordsout there yeah that start to
wound your partner.
So I think the next point um isis is kind of fits in line with
what would you say?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
words can't be unsaid words can't be unsaid so when
we argue, our words carry weightand I can swing uh with my
words and I swing carelesslywith my words.
I would say that I think we alldo at times.
I was bad, because I thinkthat's what I always use was
words you know, and um, and Iwas swinging with my words.
(11:14):
I think I did it before once,before a couple times, but I
think I said one thing thatreally still sticks with you and
I hate I ever said a few thingsthat stick with me.
I only remember one, but Iremember yeah, I know you
remember, and that's why youcan't be careless with your
words, because, even though youforgive me, you don't forget.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, and so and I know you forgive me, you don't
hold that over me, over my heador anything like that, but
there's sometimes when you willbring it up, just in plan you
know, but you remember yeah andyou let me know you remember
yeah, but like you say, we'replaying about it, we're laughing
about it yeah but the realityis that those words are years
old, yes, but you can't takethem back but you still feel the
(11:56):
weight of it well, I wouldn'tsay that when you, when, when
you forgive, I will say theywere weighty in the moment, but
but you know, years later youforgive and you let things go,
you don't feel the impact of it,yeah, but you just remember
that it was said to you and theway it was said, uh, and I think
that's that's something that wehave to recognize, that man,
(12:17):
before I say this, do I wantthis to stick to my spouse?
yeah you know what's going to bethe outcome of this
relationship when I say thisyeah, because that's a wound.
Yes, there, yeah yeah, you wantthem like you didn't swing with
your fist, but and it's, it'swhat we call verbal abuse.
You can be verbally abusive,was that verbally
(12:44):
unintentionally, but I think, Ithink we all can be yeah
verbally abusive, but it's notintentional right it's just that
we're not careful with ourwords and we don't know how our
words impact our spouse.
Yeah.
And make them feel in thatmoment.
Yeah, and sometimes you got tobe careful.
I remember we were talking to acouple recently and the wife
(13:07):
mentioned how, when she didn'tfeel like she was getting
through to her husband, shewould say things to get him up
off her.
So, basically because shecouldn't win in the argument or
navigate the the disagreementwith him, she started using her
words in order to push him backso she started hitting him in a
way that said, hey, I'm tired ofthis.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I'm tired of talking to you.
We ain't getting nowhere.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
So let me get you on up off me where I either get you
riled up and you leave me alone, or whatever.
But it was hurtful things, itwas harmful things, but she was
using it to protect herselfexactly, and that's where you
can get into that fight.
You know, and you got to learnhow to fight fair.
You got to learn how todisagree but don't damage right,
that's in the process.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I had to learn.
I think for me, I had to learn,learn how to.
I had to learn how to speak.
Before I speak, I had to thinkabout what I was getting ready
to say, and then how would thatimpact you?
So if I wouldn't say this to mybrother, my mom or my friend or
somebody else, why would I saythis to my spouse?
And so I had to learn how toslow down, think and calm down,
(14:19):
and then even pray and ask God,because you know, you feel all
this stuff, and so what I wasfeeling probably was valid, but
I didn't need to, you know, lashout of my feelings and I need
to calm down in that moment andsay, okay, hold on.
How can I say this to him wherehe will understand what I'm
coming from without, you know,going another way, taking this
(14:41):
to another place?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I think that's really good, Even the questions you
mentioned of evaluating.
Would I say this to a friendWould, I say this to a coworker
Would.
I say this to my supervisor.
You know, we talked about thatbefore.
Would I?
Would I talk to my supervisorlike this?
Would I talk to somebody elselike this?
Then why, when I get home, do Idrop my guard and just say
whatever to my spouse the personthat God has ordained me to be
(15:05):
with, to do life with, to buildsomething with.
Why would I do that?
Like it makes no sense?
But we often don't think of itthat way.
We think of it as well hey, wein a disagreement.
But we often don't think of itthat way.
We think of it as well hey, wein a disagreement, hey, you can
get it.
And some people got to let goof this whole mentality of you
just fly off to handle itwhatever.
(15:29):
You got to have more respect foryourself and for the person you
say you love and you're incovenant with for the rest of
your life that you don't handlethem that way.
Right?
Because, like you said earlier,those are wounds and those
wounds can last a lifetime yeah.
Yeah, and so you got to reallybe careful with that, and so
with that, I think it leads toour next point of understanding
the right time and the rightplace to say what you need to
(15:53):
say yeah, and I would say thatit never needs to happen
immediately.
I wouldn't say never.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Okay, I think we have to be good judges?
Well, I guess it depends on theperson.
Yeah, I think it's the personand the situation right, because
some situations are very heatedand they need to be discussed.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Well, yeah, yeah, definitely Some stuff get.
I think it's immediate.
Well, yeah, yeah, definitelySome stuff get.
I think it's immediate.
There's an immediate nature toit If it's a decision that y'all
disagree on it comes down tosomething like that but
sometimes, when it gets to thenitpicking about our spouse, um,
and it starts to spiral out.
I think that's when you reallygot to be careful about timing
(16:39):
yeah like some stuff.
Oh, we do need to talk aboutthis now.
It's a time constraint on it orit's important, right, it needs
to happen immediately.
Then there are some things thatwe gotta.
Had this conversation when yousaid that, I think about us
early on in ministry and wedidn't understand the strategies
of the enemy and how he wouldattack us on.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Saturdays, saturday morning, just all day Saturday,
and sometimes Saturday Sundaymornings.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, we didn't understand how he would do that
in order to get us off, so thatwe are not unified going into
Sunday, sunday worship.
So we trying to worship but weare not together, right, and and
he did it through adisagreement and it was often
something small, something minor, but once we learned the
(17:26):
strategy, how the enemy tries todo that to get couples off, we
understood, okay, that's when welearned to table stuff, because
I think for us we just when ithappened, we were going into it
immediately.
But when we learned that wesaid no, let's table that.
Whatever our disagreement is,whatever's going on with us,
we're going to table it andwe'll talk about it tomorrow
(17:49):
after church.
So we didn't let it blow, wecalled it early, we didn't even
let it blow up to anything.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, I think a pause helps.
It helps you not to saysomething that will damage your
relationship.
You'll take things you know toa place that you're really not
trying to go.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
So it's.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
OK to pause, but you got to know how to pause.
Sometimes you know people pauseand they don't talk to each
other.
Or you know all this tension isin the room and you know you
slam and stuff and you know allof this you don't want to be in
the same room together.
Yeah, that's not a healthy pauselike you need to be able to
pause and still talk to eachother you need to be able to
(18:28):
pause and still take care of thethings that you need to take
care of and do the things thatyou need to do.
And knowing we got this issuebut we're gonna put it on the
back, we're gonna put it up,we're gonna put it aside, but we
still gotta function, we stillgotta talk, we still gotta you
know, if you got kids, you stillgotta take care of your kids.
You know you gotta do all that,so you gotta know how to pause
yeah, I think, um, we, we learnhow to pause.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
I think at first some of our pauses were not good.
We ain't talking cabinetslamming doors.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I don't want to be around you.
I'm looking at you, I'm rollingmy eyes, like all of that
craziness.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, so we had to learn how to pause and I think
we're healthier and we're betternow.
Yes, we can pause.
I think about a few weeks backwe had a disagreement, something
I said to you about the way Ithought you felt, but you said
you didn't feel that way and andyou kind of pause the
conversation.
But everything was stillpeaceful.
(19:24):
It was a peaceful pause.
Maybe we should add that apeaceful pause.
Yes, we pause and we kind ofput it aside because we was like
we're not agreeing, we're not,you're not.
I wasn't you yeah, in thatmoment and we paused it, and I
think it was a couple of dayslater we came back and you said
okay, let's talk about this.
What did you?
(19:45):
What did you think I was tryingto express?
right right and I said what Ithought you were trying to
explain.
You said no, that's not whatI'm trying to express.
And in that moment, because weweren't in the heat of the
conversation, I said, okay,explain to me, help me
understand what you were tryingto express, because my mind was
already made up and that's whatyou said to me.
(20:06):
You said I couldn't talk to youearlier a few days ago because
your mind was already made upabout what you thought about it,
so I could not get through.
But you recognized that and yousaid this is not the right time
.
This is not time for me to tryto make my point Right, because
sometimes we try to like.
For me, we state the facts overand over, trying to make our
(20:27):
point, but for women, women tendto get loud, as if getting loud
means I hear you.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
That tunes y'all out even more.
You like I really don't hearyou now Right, but yeah.
I just had to in that moment.
Just okay, let him, let me lethim think this, but this is not
it.
So I'll just come back laterand say, oh, remember this.
Then I'll just kind of say thatthis is what it was, and you
know I don't know why youaccepted it then, but you didn't
accept it the first time well,I think, I think I gotten out of
(20:56):
my own way okay in my thinking,like my mind was already on
this how you think this, how youfeel this is what it is.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
But after that we went back into it in a different
space.
Yeah, I had stepped back andsaid, well, let me listen, let
me hear her out, yeah, and seeif what I'm thinking is right.
Right, so, so I gave youopportunity to say something
different, or say the same thing.
I already believed a differentway right and then I was gonna
(21:23):
be like, hey, you said the samething that I was thinking, but
it wasn't, it was different, andI got that understanding right,
yeah, it was good.
Yeah, it was good and so that's, that's what's necessary times.
We have to know when yeah whento say what we need to say,
depending on what it is andwhat's going on in the moment,
and then then too, like oursituation.
What type of headspace is yourspouse in?
(21:45):
What time of day is you know?
Like, if you wake me up at sixo'clock in the morning talking
about you, I got a bone to pickwith you.
That's not gonna go well, right?
Just like if I.
If I wake you up at midnight orI say, look, we need to talk
about this, it's not going to gowell.
No not waking me up, right so sothe right time plays a major
(22:05):
role.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, so.
So All right.
So let's jump to this lastpoint.
We'll give them.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
I think it was really good, and probably a lot of
people don't even think aboutthis.
But that is that you need topray before you speak.
Yeah, I think, that's good.
I think that's the part thateverybody skips, or a lot of
people skip, um, because youdon't think to pray about that.
We pray about our kids, we prayabout big decisions, we pray
about what we're going to do.
We pray about everything, butwe don't pray before we go and
talk to our spouse aboutsomething.
So I think that is a reallygood one to implement yeah, I
(22:38):
think it's.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
It can help a lot of couples change how they say what
they're going to say yeah, andby the help of god that you you
number one you take it to godbefore you take it to your
spouse, yes, and you ask God tohelp you navigate it with your
spouse, and I think that's thebenefit, that's the blessing of
praying before you jump in andjust go to shooting off about
(23:04):
all the stuff that you thinkthey need to hear, that you want
them to hear because trueenough.
like we said previously, thepoint is everything doesn't need
to be said, and sometimes youneed God to check you and and
let you know, don't say that youknow I that yeah, that that
helped me a lot when, before Isay certain things to you, and
(23:25):
sometimes even in the midst ofthe conversation, holy Spirit
will speak to me and say don'tsay that Right.
And and I've learned.
I've learned when I obey him,cause I don't know right.
And and I've learned, I'velearned when I obey him, because
I don't always obey him, butI'm working.
I obey more now than I used tobecause, I see the result when I
obey him.
It preserves our relationshipyeah it prevents the
(23:48):
relationship from goingsomewhere else.
Because sometimes I want to saywhat I want to say, because I
feel like you need to hear itright, you need, you need this I
need it I want to use my words,I want to swing, I want to, I
want you to feel the weight, but, uh, the damage is not worth it
it's not worth it.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
It's a long lifetime of damage yeah life, life effect
.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, once I learned that I had to pull back and say
okay.
You know what, when holy spiritsays don't say that, don't say
it, and sometimes it may bevalid, it can even be right.
The Holy Spirit saying don'tsay it doesn't mean it's wrong.
It just means it's not theright time, or that's not what
she needs to hear right now.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
There you go with your facts again.
This is right, she needs tohear it, and I got it all laid
out and so I'm gonna, I'm gonna,I'm gonna give it to her, and
it's not always what you need todo at that time, and I think
that goes back to the timing.
It's not always a good time tosay what you're gonna say
because, you can.
You can damage them.
You know even more with allthat, yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
I think when we pray, um, whatever we're arguing
about, whatever we'redisagreeing about, uh, it pulls
the rough side out of the stingout of it and it causes our
heart to be soft yeah so thatwhen we do go into it, we don't
go into it like it's this majorthing that I got to get off my
chest.
You kind of go into like, hey,it's this thing that we just
(25:09):
need to discuss yeah we justneed to navigate and work
through, because God has helpedyou pull all the aggression or
the craziness that you thinkabout out of it.
I'm telling you, god, god hasto be in the marriage.
Yes, in every part yes, rightit can't be always.
Let's pray in the morning,let's pray before bed, and
that's that's how god or we goto church and worship together.
(25:30):
No, you need god in yourdecision making yeah you need
God in your disagreementsbecause as human beings, we're
all flawed and we will hurt oneanother in many different ways.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Unintentionally.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Unintentionally.
Yeah.
Yeah, but with God helping uswe can avoid a lot of that.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
Well, anything else you want tosay, that's it Awesome.
Well, listen, I want to.
I want to definitely say to allof you listening today that
disagreements are going tohappen.
Everybody has thosedisagreements, but it's the way
that you navigate through thosedisagreements and you can still
(26:04):
preserve the connection and thelove in your relationship, and
that's what's most important.
It's not important for you tomake your points, it's not
important for you to be right,it's not important for you to
get it off your chest and saywhat you want to say and for
your spouse to know how you feel.
That's not what's mostimportant.
Preserve the connection,preserve the love, maintain
(26:24):
unity in your relationship, keepthose main things as the main
thing, and then it will help younavigate all of the other
things that show up in thecourse of life in your
relationship.
All right, so hopefully thatblessed you all.
If it did share it withsomebody, encourage them, let
them know that this is a greatpodcast.
Doing it with the daniels willhelp minister to your life,
(26:46):
encourage you and strengthen youas you go forward.
All right, thank y'all forjoining us.
We'll see you next time, godbless.
Hey, thank you for joining us,for doing it with the dan.
If you want to keep up witheverything going on on our
channel, don't forget to like,comment, subscribe and share
this podcast.
Absolutely.
We'll see you next time.
even the questions you mentioned of evaluating.
Would I say this to a friendwould I say this to a co-worker
would.
I say this to my supervisor.
You know, we talked about thatbefore.
Would I?
Would I talk to my supervisorlike this?
Would I talk to somebody elselike this, then why, when I get
home, do I drop my guard andjust say whatever to my spouse
the person that God has ordainedfor me to be with, to do life
(00:21):
with, to build, build somethingwith.
Why would I do that?
Welcome to Doing it With theDaniels, the podcast where we
navigate life, marriage andministry.
I'm Charles.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
And I'm Tisa.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Join us as we share insights, wisdom and practical
advice to strengthen yourmarriage, empower your life and
enrich your ministry.
Let's dive in together anddiscover the joys of doing it
with the Daniels.
Hey, welcome to Doing it Withthe Daniels, where we help
couples get it on in life,marriage and ministry.
So glad to have you back withus today.
(00:54):
What's up, baby?
How you doing?
You doing all right?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm good, how are?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
you, you look good oh we're good.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I feel a little tired .
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I appreciate that.
That's all right.
We've been busy.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Well, you look good too.
Come on, you like me, you're socrazy?
You like me, don't, you I do.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Come on, that's what's up.
I like you too.
Oh, you're so sweet, you wantto go out later, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
You got to do what I want to do though.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I've been doing that.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
20 years money, oh jesus.
All right, come on, come on,let's, let's get going.
What are we talking about today?
Today, we are talking about howto fight fair without
destroying your marriage how tofight fair without destroying
marriage.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Wow, that's awesome.
Listen.
I want to.
I want to take a minute beforewe jump into this, this show,
and just thank all of ourviewers.
Thank y'all for watching.
Thank y'all for participating.
Uh, make sure, if this, ifyou're new to this podcast or
somebody shared with you, makesure you like and subscribe and
turn your notifications on soyou always get updated when
doing it with the danielsreleases a new episode.
(01:54):
We try to release a new episodeevery thursday and we want you
to join in.
All right, this is going tohelp you help your marriage,
help relationship if you'resingle.
Thank you for the singles thathave reached out to us and told
us that this, this podcast, hasbeen beneficial to you.
Uh, we will continue to give asmuch as we can so you can grow
and get ready for your marriedlife, if that's what you want,
right yes all right, let's jumpin.
(02:16):
I just wanted to say, I justfelt led to say that you know
people watch and they come inand let us know they view us and
man, that's, that means a lotyeah it does means a lot.
I appreciate that, all right.
Well, let's get rolling what wegot here.
So we're talking about how tofight fear that's a big deal,
because you know it or how todisagree.
How to disagree?
Yeah, you can, and, and everycouple is going to have
disagreement, it's good can'tuse the word fight.
(02:37):
Yeah, you're not really fightingyeah you're just having
disagreements within, within therelationship, and and you're
going to have that it it oftenstarts out like with something
seemingly small, a little thingthat you're talking about, that
then erupts yeah it starts outreally small.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
You think about something like when you're when
you're arguing, it's somethingsmall, but then something bigger
comes out down the line becauseit it brings up other things
you know from the past thatyou're not even expecting.
So it's always those littlethings.
Then it ends up to be somethingbig.
That goes on.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, you know, emotion starts running high.
And then the next thing, youknow, you reaching way back,
pulling out something, sayingstuff that you never intended to
say.
Didn't even know that theconversation was going to go
there yeah but now you off inthis whole situation and what
ends up happening is that weflip from discussing whatever
(03:36):
that small thing was to it blowsup to now.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I got to prove to you that I'm right right, right,
and I think the the thing issometimes we make the argument
about winning yes and not aboutunderstanding our spouse yes, so
when?
We make it about winning, thenwe're losing something bigger
yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
So I think the main point right here is first point
they should really grab is stoptrying to win, and I feel like
we've said that before differentthings, but I think it's worth
reiterating over and over again,because it's easy to go back to
, to that winning mentality Iwant to win, I want to dominate,
I want to say what I want tosay and I feel like you should
(04:14):
listen to hear me yeah, I thinkyou have to be intentional yeah
you know with your, when you umargue or disagree, that you
don't so focus so much onwinning, and it takes time.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
So that's why it needs to be reiterated over and
over again, because you know,even for you, you didn't just
stop.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You know winning the arguments y'all gotta throw me
out it took.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
It took a little time for you to practice that and
work on um not winning andactually listening to me,
listening to what I was sayingand not having your, your, all
your facts, you know, laid out.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Yeah, I find that that when you said facts having
to learn how to navigate betweenfacts or being right and really
respecting your feelings in theprocess- respecting your
feelings.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, in the process.
Yeah, I'll for you.
I was back then.
I would say marriage is not adebate club, mr Daniels because
I felt like, after so much of uswhen we were disagreeing, I
feel like I was in a debate, youknow, with you and I was like,
okay, so what I'm saying doesn'tmatter, my feelings don't
matter.
Um, it was just like we're justgoing back and forth just
debating with each other andreally not listening to what I
(05:31):
was saying, and so I just feltunheard and felt like you know,
what I'm saying is not valid andit doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, yeah, and I just didn't know that being I'm
just going to say it beinginsensitive to how it made you
feel in those moments, you know,just not really caring, caring
more about being right, gettingmy point across and and you just
kind of agreeing with me.
And it wasn't until you agreedwith me or just didn't want to
(06:02):
have a conversation anymore thatI was like, okay, well, it's
over, I won.
You know, you realize thatwhatever you was talking about
wasn't about anything and what Iwas saying is what matters, and
you just decided to let it go,but not knowing that that it was
doing more damage to youremotions or your feelings, even
towards me yeah, I wish youwould have listened what we just
(06:22):
started thinking about.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
How do I prove my point?
Like, stop, don't.
Don't think about how to proveyour point, but just really just
listen to what I had to say.
Yeah, in that in those momentsand I didn't feel like I didn't
feel like what I was saying wasvalid, I didn't feel like you
cared it.
Just it was just kind ofinsensitive.
Yeah.
You know, it's like I, I'm right, and it is what it is.
(06:45):
And so in those moments, youknow, and I think that's when
some couples go to the shutdown,or the other spouse they will
go to a shutdown moment and theyjust they don't know what to
say, they don't know how tocommunicate because they don't.
They feel so unheard.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
And that's why a lot of people do that.
Absolutely, I totally agree.
I think one of the biggestissues navigating into kind of
what you're saying is is is whenyou when you I guess I'll make
the point like this when you aretrying to win, being unheard
becomes an issue right?
So now you put your spouse andyour partner in a position where
(07:28):
they have to fight two battlesright yeah.
So what are those two battles?
You know that you feel like,when you're navigating through,
that I'll just say when you'renavigating through, you have to
fight those two battles.
You have to fight for the issueat hand whatever the debate,
whatever the disagreement wasabout, and now also, you had to
fight to be heard.
Yeah, because me putting factsout there or put trying to prove
(07:52):
my point was overridinganything you were feeling or
anything you were saying, yeah,so now the issue is the issue
and I've created another issuein how you feel, right, and now
you're fighting for me to listenand understand, like you
mentioned earlier understandwhat you're feeling and how you
feel about the thing, and I'velearned that in the course of
(08:14):
our marriage, being married toyou a lot of things have been
about me having to understandhow you feel about it.
It's not always about the factsand the rationale because men
are logical thinkers, what makessense?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
sense, you come to the table with the facts.
These are the facts, this isthis and this is that, and I'm
like, but listen to what I'msaying you know the facts are
the facts, but what I feel issomething totally different yeah
, yeah, I remember when I put uson that tight budget.
If the facts, the numbers madesense, the the budget made sense
, everything made sense, but youdidn't think about me in that
(08:48):
moment.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
As a woman.
I did not, and how you wouldfeel living in such tight
constraints.
Although it was a good thingand it was us getting out of
debt, it still was tight, verytight, and as a woman I had to
realize, wait, my wife need herhair done, she need her nails,
she needs to be able to goshopping sometimes and you just
have to learn and realize, hey,you can't be so tight.
(09:10):
So I had to give a little bit.
I had to extend and be like well, our debt payoff plan will
extend out a little bit and it'sokay if my wife is in a good
place and I'm showing her that Ivalue her feelings and her
thoughts about this process nowI can.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
You know I could do without the nails, but the hair
I was like you had to sacrifice.
I could sacrifice some, somethings, but you know um, but you
, you didn't consider.
I had to sacrifice on thistight, strict budget and I was
like who can breathe?
I can't do nothing.
But but that was a growing timefor us.
You know we got pictures andmemories from you rolling my
(09:47):
hair and all of that.
So you know, some good thingscame out of it.
But I think we learned in thatmoment doing that process too.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And and I mean even navigatingthrough these disagreements,
these arguments or whatever um,once it gets heated it it can
become really, reallychallenging, because everybody's
not like this.
Some people are.
I think I don't, I think I havea grasp, I think you, a little
(10:16):
bit more so, can get to.
Some stuff will fly out who youknow, you start taking shots
yeah, and you best around.
Say something like it goes touh, you always do.
It's like wait a minute, we'retalking about this one yeah how
do we get to you?
always and you, and then youknow you start accusing your
spouse you just don't care, areyou just?
(10:39):
And now you start to put wordsout there yeah that start to
wound your partner.
So I think the next point um isis is kind of fits in line with
what would you say?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
words can't be unsaid words can't be unsaid so when
we argue, our words carry weightand I can swing uh with my
words and I swing carelesslywith my words.
I would say that I think we alldo at times.
I was bad, because I thinkthat's what I always use was
words you know, and um, and Iwas swinging with my words.
(11:14):
I think I did it before once,before a couple times, but I
think I said one thing thatreally still sticks with you and
I hate I ever said a few thingsthat stick with me.
I only remember one, but Iremember yeah, I know you
remember, and that's why youcan't be careless with your
words, because, even though youforgive me, you don't forget.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, and so and I know you forgive me, you don't
hold that over me, over my heador anything like that, but
there's sometimes when you willbring it up, just in plan you
know, but you remember yeah andyou let me know you remember
yeah, but like you say, we'replaying about it, we're laughing
about it yeah but the realityis that those words are years
old, yes, but you can't takethem back but you still feel the
(11:56):
weight of it well, I wouldn'tsay that when you, when, when
you forgive, I will say theywere weighty in the moment, but
but you know, years later youforgive and you let things go,
you don't feel the impact of it,yeah, but you just remember
that it was said to you and theway it was said, uh, and I think
that's that's something that wehave to recognize, that man,
(12:17):
before I say this, do I wantthis to stick to my spouse?
yeah you know what's going to bethe outcome of this
relationship when I say thisyeah, because that's a wound.
Yes, there, yeah yeah, you wantthem like you didn't swing with
your fist, but and it's, it'swhat we call verbal abuse.
You can be verbally abusive,was that verbally
(12:44):
unintentionally, but I think, Ithink we all can be yeah
verbally abusive, but it's notintentional right it's just that
we're not careful with ourwords and we don't know how our
words impact our spouse.
Yeah.
And make them feel in thatmoment.
Yeah, and sometimes you got tobe careful.
I remember we were talking to acouple recently and the wife
(13:07):
mentioned how, when she didn'tfeel like she was getting
through to her husband, shewould say things to get him up
off her.
So, basically because shecouldn't win in the argument or
navigate the the disagreementwith him, she started using her
words in order to push him backso she started hitting him in a
way that said, hey, I'm tired ofthis.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I'm tired of talking to you.
We ain't getting nowhere.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
So let me get you on up off me where I either get you
riled up and you leave me alone, or whatever.
But it was hurtful things, itwas harmful things, but she was
using it to protect herselfexactly, and that's where you
can get into that fight.
You know, and you got to learnhow to fight fair.
You got to learn how todisagree but don't damage right,
that's in the process.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I had to learn.
I think for me, I had to learn,learn how to.
I had to learn how to speak.
Before I speak, I had to thinkabout what I was getting ready
to say, and then how would thatimpact you?
So if I wouldn't say this to mybrother, my mom or my friend or
somebody else, why would I saythis to my spouse?
And so I had to learn how toslow down, think and calm down,
(14:19):
and then even pray and ask God,because you know, you feel all
this stuff, and so what I wasfeeling probably was valid, but
I didn't need to, you know, lashout of my feelings and I need
to calm down in that moment andsay, okay, hold on.
How can I say this to him wherehe will understand what I'm
coming from without, you know,going another way, taking this
(14:41):
to another place?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I think that's really good, Even the questions you
mentioned of evaluating.
Would I say this to a friendWould, I say this to a coworker
Would.
I say this to my supervisor.
You know, we talked about thatbefore.
Would I?
Would I talk to my supervisorlike this?
Would I talk to somebody elselike this?
Then why, when I get home, do Idrop my guard and just say
whatever to my spouse the personthat God has ordained me to be
(15:05):
with, to do life with, to buildsomething with.
Why would I do that?
Like it makes no sense?
But we often don't think of itthat way.
We think of it as well hey, wein a disagreement.
But we often don't think of itthat way.
We think of it as well hey, wein a disagreement, hey, you can
get it.
And some people got to let goof this whole mentality of you
just fly off to handle itwhatever.
(15:29):
You got to have more respect foryourself and for the person you
say you love and you're incovenant with for the rest of
your life that you don't handlethem that way.
Right?
Because, like you said earlier,those are wounds and those
wounds can last a lifetime yeah.
Yeah, and so you got to reallybe careful with that, and so
with that, I think it leads toour next point of understanding
the right time and the rightplace to say what you need to
(15:53):
say yeah, and I would say thatit never needs to happen
immediately.
I wouldn't say never.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Okay, I think we have to be good judges?
Well, I guess it depends on theperson.
Yeah, I think it's the personand the situation right, because
some situations are very heatedand they need to be discussed.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Well, yeah, yeah, definitely Some stuff get.
I think it's immediate.
Well, yeah, yeah, definitelySome stuff get.
I think it's immediate.
There's an immediate nature toit If it's a decision that y'all
disagree on it comes down tosomething like that but
sometimes, when it gets to thenitpicking about our spouse, um,
and it starts to spiral out.
I think that's when you reallygot to be careful about timing
(16:39):
yeah like some stuff.
Oh, we do need to talk aboutthis now.
It's a time constraint on it orit's important, right, it needs
to happen immediately.
Then there are some things thatwe gotta.
Had this conversation when yousaid that, I think about us
early on in ministry and wedidn't understand the strategies
of the enemy and how he wouldattack us on.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Saturdays, saturday morning, just all day Saturday,
and sometimes Saturday Sundaymornings.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, we didn't understand how he would do that
in order to get us off, so thatwe are not unified going into
Sunday, sunday worship.
So we trying to worship but weare not together, right, and and
he did it through adisagreement and it was often
something small, something minor, but once we learned the
(17:26):
strategy, how the enemy tries todo that to get couples off, we
understood, okay, that's when welearned to table stuff, because
I think for us we just when ithappened, we were going into it
immediately.
But when we learned that wesaid no, let's table that.
Whatever our disagreement is,whatever's going on with us,
we're going to table it andwe'll talk about it tomorrow
(17:49):
after church.
So we didn't let it blow, wecalled it early, we didn't even
let it blow up to anything.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, I think a pause helps.
It helps you not to saysomething that will damage your
relationship.
You'll take things you know toa place that you're really not
trying to go.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
So it's.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
OK to pause, but you got to know how to pause.
Sometimes you know people pauseand they don't talk to each
other.
Or you know all this tension isin the room and you know you
slam and stuff and you know allof this you don't want to be in
the same room together.
Yeah, that's not a healthy pauselike you need to be able to
pause and still talk to eachother you need to be able to
(18:28):
pause and still take care of thethings that you need to take
care of and do the things thatyou need to do.
And knowing we got this issuebut we're gonna put it on the
back, we're gonna put it up,we're gonna put it aside, but we
still gotta function, we stillgotta talk, we still gotta you
know, if you got kids, you stillgotta take care of your kids.
You know you gotta do all that,so you gotta know how to pause
yeah, I think, um, we, we learnhow to pause.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
I think at first some of our pauses were not good.
We ain't talking cabinetslamming doors.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I don't want to be around you.
I'm looking at you, I'm rollingmy eyes, like all of that
craziness.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, so we had to learn how to pause and I think
we're healthier and we're betternow.
Yes, we can pause.
I think about a few weeks backwe had a disagreement, something
I said to you about the way Ithought you felt, but you said
you didn't feel that way and andyou kind of pause the
conversation.
But everything was stillpeaceful.
(19:24):
It was a peaceful pause.
Maybe we should add that apeaceful pause.
Yes, we pause and we kind ofput it aside because we was like
we're not agreeing, we're not,you're not.
I wasn't you yeah, in thatmoment and we paused it, and I
think it was a couple of dayslater we came back and you said
okay, let's talk about this.
What did you?
(19:45):
What did you think I was tryingto express?
right right and I said what Ithought you were trying to
explain.
You said no, that's not whatI'm trying to express.
And in that moment, because weweren't in the heat of the
conversation, I said, okay,explain to me, help me
understand what you were tryingto express, because my mind was
already made up and that's whatyou said to me.
(20:06):
You said I couldn't talk to youearlier a few days ago because
your mind was already made upabout what you thought about it,
so I could not get through.
But you recognized that and yousaid this is not the right time
.
This is not time for me to tryto make my point Right, because
sometimes we try to like.
For me, we state the facts overand over, trying to make our
(20:27):
point, but for women, women tendto get loud, as if getting loud
means I hear you.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
That tunes y'all out even more.
You like I really don't hearyou now Right, but yeah.
I just had to in that moment.
Just okay, let him, let me lethim think this, but this is not
it.
So I'll just come back laterand say, oh, remember this.
Then I'll just kind of say thatthis is what it was, and you
know I don't know why youaccepted it then, but you didn't
accept it the first time well,I think, I think I gotten out of
(20:56):
my own way okay in my thinking,like my mind was already on
this how you think this, how youfeel this is what it is.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
But after that we went back into it in a different
space.
Yeah, I had stepped back andsaid, well, let me listen, let
me hear her out, yeah, and seeif what I'm thinking is right.
Right, so, so I gave youopportunity to say something
different, or say the same thing.
I already believed a differentway right and then I was gonna
(21:23):
be like, hey, you said the samething that I was thinking, but
it wasn't, it was different, andI got that understanding right,
yeah, it was good.
Yeah, it was good and so that's, that's what's necessary times.
We have to know when yeah whento say what we need to say,
depending on what it is andwhat's going on in the moment,
and then then too, like oursituation.
What type of headspace is yourspouse in?
(21:45):
What time of day is you know?
Like, if you wake me up at sixo'clock in the morning talking
about you, I got a bone to pickwith you.
That's not gonna go well, right?
Just like if I.
If I wake you up at midnight orI say, look, we need to talk
about this, it's not going to gowell.
No not waking me up, right so sothe right time plays a major
(22:05):
role.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, so.
So All right.
So let's jump to this lastpoint.
We'll give them.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
I think it was really good, and probably a lot of
people don't even think aboutthis.
But that is that you need topray before you speak.
Yeah, I think, that's good.
I think that's the part thateverybody skips, or a lot of
people skip, um, because youdon't think to pray about that.
We pray about our kids, we prayabout big decisions, we pray
about what we're going to do.
We pray about everything, butwe don't pray before we go and
talk to our spouse aboutsomething.
So I think that is a reallygood one to implement yeah, I
(22:38):
think it's.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
It can help a lot of couples change how they say what
they're going to say yeah, andby the help of god that you you
number one you take it to godbefore you take it to your
spouse, yes, and you ask God tohelp you navigate it with your
spouse, and I think that's thebenefit, that's the blessing of
praying before you jump in andjust go to shooting off about
(23:04):
all the stuff that you thinkthey need to hear, that you want
them to hear because trueenough.
like we said previously, thepoint is everything doesn't need
to be said, and sometimes youneed God to check you and and
let you know, don't say that youknow I that yeah, that that
helped me a lot when, before Isay certain things to you, and
(23:25):
sometimes even in the midst ofthe conversation, holy Spirit
will speak to me and say don'tsay that Right.
And and I've learned.
I've learned when I obey him,cause I don't know right.
And and I've learned, I'velearned when I obey him, because
I don't always obey him, butI'm working.
I obey more now than I used tobecause, I see the result when I
obey him.
It preserves our relationshipyeah it prevents the
(23:48):
relationship from goingsomewhere else.
Because sometimes I want to saywhat I want to say, because I
feel like you need to hear itright, you need, you need this I
need it I want to use my words,I want to swing, I want to, I
want you to feel the weight, but, uh, the damage is not worth it
it's not worth it.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
It's a long lifetime of damage yeah life, life effect
.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, once I learned that I had to pull back and say
okay.
You know what, when holy spiritsays don't say that, don't say
it, and sometimes it may bevalid, it can even be right.
The Holy Spirit saying don'tsay it doesn't mean it's wrong.
It just means it's not theright time, or that's not what
she needs to hear right now.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
There you go with your facts again.
This is right, she needs tohear it, and I got it all laid
out and so I'm gonna, I'm gonna,I'm gonna give it to her, and
it's not always what you need todo at that time, and I think
that goes back to the timing.
It's not always a good time tosay what you're gonna say
because, you can.
You can damage them.
You know even more with allthat, yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
I think when we pray, um, whatever we're arguing
about, whatever we'redisagreeing about, uh, it pulls
the rough side out of the stingout of it and it causes our
heart to be soft yeah so thatwhen we do go into it, we don't
go into it like it's this majorthing that I got to get off my
chest.
You kind of go into like, hey,it's this thing that we just
(25:09):
need to discuss yeah we justneed to navigate and work
through, because God has helpedyou pull all the aggression or
the craziness that you thinkabout out of it.
I'm telling you, god, god hasto be in the marriage.
Yes, in every part yes, rightit can't be always.
Let's pray in the morning,let's pray before bed, and
that's that's how god or we goto church and worship together.
(25:30):
No, you need god in yourdecision making yeah you need
God in your disagreementsbecause as human beings, we're
all flawed and we will hurt oneanother in many different ways.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Unintentionally.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Unintentionally.
Yeah.
Yeah, but with God helping uswe can avoid a lot of that.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
Well, anything else you want tosay, that's it Awesome.
Well, listen, I want to.
I want to definitely say to allof you listening today that
disagreements are going tohappen.
Everybody has thosedisagreements, but it's the way
that you navigate through thosedisagreements and you can still
(26:04):
preserve the connection and thelove in your relationship, and
that's what's most important.
It's not important for you tomake your points, it's not
important for you to be right,it's not important for you to
get it off your chest and saywhat you want to say and for
your spouse to know how you feel.
That's not what's mostimportant.
Preserve the connection,preserve the love, maintain
(26:24):
unity in your relationship, keepthose main things as the main
thing, and then it will help younavigate all of the other
things that show up in thecourse of life in your
relationship.
All right, so hopefully thatblessed you all.
If it did share it withsomebody, encourage them, let
them know that this is a greatpodcast.
Doing it with the daniels willhelp minister to your life,
(26:46):
encourage you and strengthen youas you go forward.
All right, thank y'all forjoining us.
We'll see you next time, godbless.
Hey, thank you for joining us,for doing it with the dan.
If you want to keep up witheverything going on on our
channel, don't forget to like,comment, subscribe and share
this podcast.
Absolutely.
We'll see you next time.
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