May 27, 2025 • 46 mins
Andrea Abbate talks about her amazing tumultuous life, including addiction, bad partners, bad parents, bad relationships, and surviving through comedy to land in a good place.
Bio: Andrea Abbate has proven herself to be a powerhouse in the world of comedy. She’s found success as a stand-up comedian, television writer, actor/performer and producer. Andrea seamlessly blends sharp, edgy humor with an inviting charm that draws audiences in. Her ability to tackle bold, often controversial topics with a clever, relatable twist sets her apart in the comedy scene. She finds hilarious ways to highlight the absurdities of life and bring people together through laughter. Her talents have earned her opportunities to work with Bill Maher, Bob Saget, Niecy Nash, Earthquake, Paul Rodriguez and Adam Carolla. She’s reached a national audience with several performances on “Evening At The Improv” and nine appearances on “Politically Incorrect”, as well as guest starring on many TV shows. Abbate is a favorite guest on Earthquake's SiriusXM radio show, “Quake’s House”. The LA Times wrote, “She's as sweet as a perfumed eviction notice or a sugar-coated bullet.” Beyond the stage, Andrea is a successful TV writer and producer, and is known for her distinctive voice and sharp comedic sensibility. She’s created TV shows for Showtime, HBO, NBC, CBS, ABC, Disney+ and Freeform. Whether performing live, writing TV shows, or acting in them, her bold, fearless humor makes her an undeniable talent and a standout force in comedy.
Bio: Andrea Abbate has proven herself to be a powerhouse in the world of comedy. She’s found success as a stand-up comedian, television writer, actor/performer and producer. Andrea seamlessly blends sharp, edgy humor with an inviting charm that draws audiences in. Her ability to tackle bold, often controversial topics with a clever, relatable twist sets her apart in the comedy scene. She finds hilarious ways to highlight the absurdities of life and bring people together through laughter. Her talents have earned her opportunities to work with Bill Maher, Bob Saget, Niecy Nash, Earthquake, Paul Rodriguez and Adam Carolla. She’s reached a national audience with several performances on “Evening At The Improv” and nine appearances on “Politically Incorrect”, as well as guest starring on many TV shows. Abbate is a favorite guest on Earthquake's SiriusXM radio show, “Quake’s House”. The LA Times wrote, “She's as sweet as a perfumed eviction notice or a sugar-coated bullet.” Beyond the stage, Andrea is a successful TV writer and producer, and is known for her distinctive voice and sharp comedic sensibility. She’s created TV shows for Showtime, HBO, NBC, CBS, ABC, Disney+ and Freeform. Whether performing live, writing TV shows, or acting in them, her bold, fearless humor makes her an undeniable talent and a standout force in comedy.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw Hut Media.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hi, I'm Andrea Abbott and I am now being forced
to do an intro for the show called Don't Be
Alone with Jake Cogan? Is that good enough? Can I go?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Now? Do it again? Hi?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm Andrea Abbott and I'm on don't be Alone? You
really don't want to be alone with j Cogan.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Don't be Alone with JJ Cogan.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Hey, gang, welcome to Don't Be Alone with Jake Cogan.
I am your genial host, Jay Cogan, and I'm so
glad you're here. I want to remind you to write
to me at dbawjk at gmail dot com with all
your suggestions, your comments, and especially your viewer male suggestions
that we can ask our guests. I want to remind
you to subscribe to the show. Subscribe on YouTube, be
(00:50):
a YouTube subscriber. Those are very special people in my
heart and I need about I don't know two, maybe
three hundred, no, seventy thousand more subscribers, yeah, seven seventy thousand,
so that would be very helpful. If you subscribe, you
can send the show links to the show, the ones
that you like to friends. That's fun, so please do that.
(01:13):
We have a great show. For you today. We just
recorded it and it was a surprise to me. I
had a question that I was going to ask about
my life, and I never got to it because our
guest was so interesting and had such a varied experience
in life that it was fascinating. Andrea Abbott is our guest.
She's a comedian, she's a writer. She's worked on television shows,
(01:34):
she's been a stand up. She has a one woman
show coming out called Adventures of a Slutty Girl with
an Eating Disorder something like that, and it's it's if
it's a fraction of her actual life and her story,
then it's going to be very, very entertaining because she's
had quite a varied life and you're gonna hear all
(01:55):
about it as we go through the show. And when
we close one door, another one opens and it's another adventure.
And what's remarkable about her is through all of her
trauma and all of her pain and all of her excitement,
she's remained somebody who seems to be remarkably optimistic and
happy and forward thinking and positive and how wonderful. So
(02:18):
I can't wait for you to get to know her,
just like I got to know her. It's fantastic. And
here she is, Andrew Abbott, don't be alone with how
many kids you have?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Should we talk about this on the air.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
We're on the air.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Oh, we're on the air. I didn't know that. Okay, great,
Well I have four kids that live.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Okay, that's good. All right, So let me introduce you
and Andrew Habit, a writer, a comedian, a producer, and
apparently a model because you are you are a lot
of photo shoots, going to leaving here to go to
a photo shoot. And you were at a photo shoot
when I contacted you earlier last week.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
And I did a photo shoot yesterday. But that's very rare.
That's just all coincidence, is.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
The picture time. So but we're talking about your kids.
So you have four kids that lived, Yeah, fantastic, four.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Kids, five abortions, so minus one kid basically. Okayhere I'm
met and mathematic right net total your total minus one?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Okay, So all right, so you're and the eight ranges
of the children.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Are forty to twenty one.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay, that's a big range. That's a big rain, nineteen years,
huge range.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I know I was fertile. This is the thing, this
is the problem.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
It was one thing. Making the life choice of just
never stopping having kids is another.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I adopted my last two kids. Okay, my brother was
incarcerated and I end up, you know, stepping in and.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
All right, and was that? Where was the brother's wife?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
There was no wife. There was a girlfriend who had
several of her kids taken away and she was also incarcerated. Okay, yeah,
you know.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
A very weirdmek Hamemark movie. All right, Well, now I
need to know what what happened with your brother? What's
the deal? Was out?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Well, he got out. He since passed. He got out
and die. No, yeah, but he he was so I
hated him growing up. Okay, hated him. He's the type
of guy that would wipe a booger on your back,
right in the middle where you can't get it sure
when your friends are there. Okay, did you have a
brother like that?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I didn't. I had a sister and she did not
wipe any boogers on my back.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
So you were the torturer.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
No, she tortured me in other ways.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
She did.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
She once chased after me with a knife.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I've chased after my brother was a bat and got him.
But and I'm not proud of that, but he also, uh,
one of his good moves is he would rip up
a whole thing of toilet paper and toss it like
I'd turn off the shower. He'd sneak in there. We
had no locks on our doors, and then just toss
it all in so I'm not covered with toilet paper
like a human pinotta. So he was asking for it, yeah,
(05:02):
you know, in my book.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
And that's what he went to jail for, the paper thing.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yes, finally he was no. You know, he went to
jail several times. I never got a straight story. He'll
be saying, you know, I got a rest of returning
left right, you know, on her right hand. But he
was in a stolen car. He doesn't mention that part.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
But best not to investigate too deeply. Okay, all right,
so you don't know what he went to jail for,
but he went to jail.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Drugs were involved, okay, theft was involved, right, I always.
And then I got you know, then I stepped in
as a maternal figure, kind of like the white Bernie Mac.
That's why I say, yeah, you know, and uh, and
I'm really happy that I did. And I'm really happy
that I did.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah, that investment's worth it. That's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Absolutely. And then when my brother came out Jay, which
was are he winning? He got a rest for you know,
he got six years, but with good behavior you can
get out early, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
So I don't know, but I'm I'm thankful. I don't know,
but I believe you. Yeah, So six years turned in
two three, six years.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Because no, because he did not have good feedings. But anyway,
when he got out, I thought, God, why do I
have so much empathy for a kid but not an adult?
So why don't I just raise him too? So I'll
adopt him right as well. So then he came to
live with me for his last for ten years and
(06:27):
turned out to be his last ten years. But he
and then then we became best friends. That booger wiping
brother became my very good friend.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
What changed in him that allowed you to to become
best friends?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
What changed in him was living with me. We had
terrible parents, and we could get into that later, but
we didn't have you know, he never had a chance. Really,
And I was the oldest and still I'm the oldest
of anybody I know, so I've retained that title. But
I just thought I'm going to just take responsibility for him.
(07:03):
So I just did everything for him, and I guess
he was maybe love for the first time. He started
taking classes and doing self improvement. He got off all
drugs and dad I was such a helper and a
lovely guy.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Did he start a work of some kind that he liked.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
He helped around the house, and there was a ton
of work. I have twelve chickens, I have four dogs.
My husband's got two hundred and fifty thousand bees in
the backyard. He's my fourth husband. There's kids. I think
I'm leaving something out. Oh, I have like twenty five.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
First Well, the time it takes to count two hundred
and fifty thousand bees, just to count them.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yes, that's a big job, that's huge, huge, just that survey,
the demographics, what is its census taking.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
That's the bees and to really identify one bee from another.
That takes work and name them all.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
But they don't live very long. I think there're seventeen days.
My husband talks about bees incessantly. I never play attention,
but I don't think they live long.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
So we digress. So your your your brother, you and
your brother and how many other siblings to do there's
five kids, five kids in Fresno. Yeah, okay, And so
you're raised in Fresno, which is a very sort of
weird little town.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Jeffrey Dahmer's mother moved there after he was arrested because
she would fit in. I don't know why, and apparently,
and I don't know if it's true, but there's been
a fact slash rumor. I don't know that his brother
moved also there and then changed his name and still
lives there, but we don't know who it is.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Yeah, that would make sense.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah, I would definitely change the name.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah exactly, yea, but yeah, but it changed his name
to man Eater, So it's like Billy mann Eater.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
The Hall and Oates song.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Sure, okay, So so five brothers and sisters. You were
the oldest dude, you say, okay, and this brother that
you adopted was were in the lineup?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Next one day?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Next one down?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Okay, next one?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And are you still close with the others? Uh?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
My sister just passed away this month.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Oh I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah so she but I'm not so she's gone. So now,
so is your sister.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Alive nor sister passed as well?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
It's kind of interesting when you're like, we're five or
four or three.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
But oh wow, yeah, well I'm down to one.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
You're down to one.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
One yeah, just me.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
But it was only ever two, It was only two,
so you haven't felt the contrition of the just.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
It was a big contrition that one time.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yeah, that one time. And were you close with your sister?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So it's a bummer. Not only
is it a bummer when you lose your sibling because
you love somebody and somebody, but it's very interesting your siblings.
My sister is the only one that knew exactly what
my childhood was like, Like I had a shared memory
with what it was to grow up and where we
(09:55):
went up and who we met and who were parents
our parents really were, and what everything was all that
it was shared only by one other person.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
And now she's gone, yes, and you're in charge of
the vault.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I have the vault, and I can also just make
shit up. Okay, nobody's going to call me on it
at all, which is fine.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah. I left when I was sixteen, so in a half,
and I came here and I got early acceptance to UCLA,
so I didn't So my brother was fourteen, and everybody
else was like too all the way down, So I
just tried to escape. I didn't really come to LA
to go to college. I came to LA to go
(10:36):
to college to leave. So I achieved my goal the
second right, I got here. But anyway, then it was
fun being at UCLA. But so I didn't really all
those years with my brother. I didn't reconnect with him
till forty forty years old, thirty eight forty. That's when
(10:58):
we then reconnect because he was busy living his life,
a life of crime, right yeah, and I was not involved.
And he had two other kids, one who's you know
now in prison for manslaughter and blah blah blah. So things.
My family was a good family to leave, right, Well.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I mean your family and my family are like mirror
images of each other. Oh no, exactly the opposite. Everybody's
pretty uh pretty boring.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Well, you know what, and I aspired to be. I
married two Jewish guys for that reason. I've like try
to get into a good family. Right, What is it
like to just discuss where's dinner? What is it like
I'm on a group text? I turned my phone off
that Charlie, which is my nephew, good news, got manslaughter
only ten years. That is a group text of yay, right,
(11:50):
And I'm just like, oh, so I've always been attracted
to the boring, which doesn't sound boring. It sounds like
a vacation.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Right. But if you want to marry somebody into talking
about what's for dinner? When you married you that's all
you're talking about, Yes, for dinner, just where to go
for dinner? How was dinner, why dinner wasn't great?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
And where will we eat tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Tomorrow?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Let's start planning. Now.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You know, we had a lot of alcoholics in my family.
So I remember writing to my mom a letter, a
letter of like, Mom, I'm in Chicago with my husband's parents.
Guess what we're talking about? Food? We're talking about this
and this is my family really didn't eat that much.
(12:34):
They drink, drank, drank the meal, forgot about the meal.
And certainly food was not a topic when you were awake.
It was not. In fact, when I was young, one
of my jobs early on was to make my mom's coffee,
uh and bring it to her. And it had to
be brought to her right away with just a daughter
(12:55):
of cream and a lot of sugar. She would take
like three SIPs of it and achieve her goal, which
was to burn all of her taste buds in her mouth,
like purposely burn her mouth so her little taste buds
couldn't get her okay, and so she couldn't taste anything
for the rest of the day, so she would not
be attracted to food and not lose her willpower to
(13:17):
not eat okay. And it was like the Ozembek of
the sixties. Sure, so I grew up in that attitude
of don't eat, don't look at bread, how many bites
of rice are you having?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So you came to Los Angeles UCLA. You went to UCLA,
and then what was the road to becoming a writer
and a comedian? What was that road?
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Along? Arduous road? I wanted to go to UCLA and
study anything in the theater arts.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
And you knew coming to Los Angeles wasn't it wasn't
just to escape home. It was mainly escape home. But
you were hoping for a career in the arts already, yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
And my parents said, no, you cannot do that. And
since my senior goal was to leave and also not
be in debt, I didn't so and I was a
little on the young and foolish side, definitely in the
foolish area. So I just had to do in my mind,
do what they say. So then I became an economics major,
(14:22):
and then I kind of went from there to being
a druggie and kind of losing my way and later on.
In fact, that's what this, that's what this postcard I
brought to show Adventures of a Slutty Girl with an
(14:42):
eating disorder, which is a very funny one woman show
is about that starts June seventh.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Okay, where can we see this one woman show.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
At a beautiful theater here? Right here, the Broadwater Theater
on Santa Monica sixty three, Santa Monica. Yes, right next
to a really cool bar.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Don't be alone with JG.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
But anyway, that was my you know, trajectory down. I
made the mistake of thinking, you know what, when I
leave home, all my problems will be gone because I'm
leaving my problems behind there in Fresno.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But Sadley, well, you're carrying with yourself and the history
that you have and this genetic inclination to find substance
and stuff. Yeah, so I mean that you can't run
away from that.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
No, nor from the you know, internalized invalidation that you
do all the time. And and you know, we had
a lot of our family, you know, my brother, As
I say, my brother Hal got the worst of it,
I think because my dad abused him so much physically,
But there was also incest that fell upon me. So
(16:08):
and still I always say I would, you know, I
don't want to upset anybody that's a survivor of sexual
whatever they call it assault. But I saw what happened
to my brother, and I feel like I was the
lucky one.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Right, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean no,
in that situation, doesn't not like anybody's the lucky one.
That's not. Yes, there's different kinds of bad.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
There's different kinds of bad, and I feel like my
bad was. Yeah, anyway, I kind of was maybe more resilient,
I don't know, but I bounced out of my bad.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Gaming the helms is fantastic. That's a good start. Yes,
that is a bit distract But then you were looking
for validation elsewhere and sort of still feeling your pain
and still sort of trying to tag numb it with
other stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
With lack of eating, that was my big thing lack
of eating. So anyway, so this is all the way
to get to the e comic or writer, right. I
then pulled myself together, married one guy that didn't work
out so good. That was only a one day marriage.
I think I have almost Britney's Fears type of marriage.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Okay, but that that doesn't count kind of.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I don't think it counts. But it was a marriage.
But it wasn't even a divorce. That's how quick that
marriage was the next day and we didn't consummate it
the next day. Well after the marriage, I was like,
oh my god, what am I doing? I was pregnant
at the time, which is what the only reason I
didn't have sex okay with baby someone else who knew?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Who knew?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Jay? Who did?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I didn't know when I've.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Ever done tests, but I had. I had some runner
ups sure, okay, also probably very different than you're sure.
Hence a slutty girl exactly living up twenty.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I have never is true, I have never almost gotten
married because I was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I have not had that experience, right to anybody, This
guy was so kind of looked like a beatle and
I've always loved Paul McCartney. And you know, my husband's
English and doesn't isn't dissimilar to Paul McCartney. Again, but
so yeah, so I met him. He really liked me.
He asked me to marry and we got married like
(18:17):
within a week. Don't do that, people don't do that.
Uh So after the wedding, like I think I was
pretty good during the wedding.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
During the act ceremony, you were okay, nothing during the ceremony.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
I mean, it was a fun adventure. So my first wedding,
I didn't realize it was my first, you know, because
you don't know until you have your second, third, and
fourth and maybe fifth. Who knows, Jay, life is long.
You don't know you my listeners.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
My wife always introduces me as her first husband.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Oh that's darling. I introduced my husband as my current husband.
That's probably not that endearing. But anyway, So, but when
we went to the dinner after the wedding, you know
where I was like, oh no, this is terrible mistake,
this is off.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
What was what did he do at dinner?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
It just dawned on me. I don't know this person.
I don't want to. I'm telling you I was immature,
So uh. I then talked to him all night about
my record albums. I didn't want to go to a
hotel or anything. Let's just go to my place because
the hotel really sets up something's going to happen. And
(19:30):
now I didn't want anything to happen, so I have
to go get something at my house. So now that
I'm at my house, I just want to show you this,
these records. I don't know, I didn't know it. Maybe
he was a person that was listening, and I was
just blabbing on about the runaways and such until morning came.
(19:55):
And then in the morning I said, I think we've
made a mistake. I think I don't know you well enough.
We shouldn't be married anyway. I got him to agree
to let's just go to the guy who married us
and talk to him. And he said, I haven't sent
(20:17):
the papers in. Do you want me just to rip
them up? And I'm like, yes, please, could you? So
what does that count? Does that count? I mean, there
was counts.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It was a ceremony, it counts, but it doesn't really
count you have it annulled, or even if it was
legally annulled after a day. I had a buddy who
got married in Las Vegas and then it was just
sort of like it was a pain, and they asked
for him to get it annulled, but he did. It
took way longer to get it annulled than it was
to just decide, hey, let's get married.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Well, I feel the things that kind
of push it into not a marriage is the fact
that we never consummated, that we never had sex or after.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
There are lots of marriages that get consummated. I'm telling
you that happens. That happens. Well, it's the vows. It's
the vows.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
So those vowls are you know what my mom called
the marriage. My mom has been married seven times and
she's since gone, but she would call a wedding a
piece of paper and a cake. Okay, it's a vows vowels, right.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Sure, seven times. That's that's an optimist. That's somebody who
really that thinks I believe in marriage just haven't hit
the right one.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Yeah, yeah, she You know, anyway, she she was a character,
this one last guy that she was going to marry
and she didn't. But she would call me late at night.
You know what I mean by late at night is nine.
Never accept my mother's calls after eight. If you're not
wanting to talk to someone who is really uh tanked,
(21:44):
you just knew, don't pick up the phone. But one
night I was watching NYPD Blue and I'm so absorbed,
you know, just involved in it, that I accidentally just
you know, picked up and it was my mom and
she's going on in her drunken cadence about the guy
she's met named Rudy. I can't do my mom, I
met someone and oh he's a fantastic his name is
(22:08):
Rudy anyway, and she's going to marry him. But she
has one concern And I'm like, is that you just
met him? No, no, no, honey has said he hasn't
had kids.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
He's gonna want kids.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Basically, after like half an hour, I want to know
if you will have his child for him. I'm like, Mom,
what are you talking about? And I didn't want to say, Mom,
you're drunk, but I just said, why don't we talk
about when you've had more seep? And she just I'm
not drunk, Tell her, Rudy, tell her. And now I
(22:43):
find out that Rudy is on the call. The whole time,
and I'm like, Rudy's been on the call, and she's like, well,
he has a right. We're talking about his kids. He
has it right to be involved. And I'm like, oh
my god, yeah, that's a that's a pretty easy.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Now, that's a pretty fine. I mean, not only are
you missing Blue Bloods, you know, like like you've got
to get back to the show exactly, but also like
you have plenty of kids. You don't need to worry.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yeah, I'm like, who murdered that florist? I'll ever know now,
But anyway, my mom got off the phone with me,
very upset that I am a greedy vulture and want
more money when she dies, and that's why that's the
only reason you won't have Rudy's child. Then she decides
she'll call my younger sister at least, who's prettier and
(23:27):
better all all around.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
And I'm sure at least did not agree as well.
That's good. Okay, So we're on the road to becoming
an actor and a comedian. I just didn't want to
stop the story. The stories are pretty good, so I
don't want to stop the story. But I'll always bringing back.
So where along the path you're getting married to all
these married.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Once to that guy. So now that leads me up
to my my next husband, which I say next because
I usually don't count that first guy. But my next
husband was the you know, I don't want to give
anybody away, but anyway, that my next husband. So when
that went bad, so I have a child already, right,
and now we have a child, my new husband and
(24:11):
I and that broke apart after seven years, and.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
When that was I but that's way better than one day.
So if you're measuring one marriage against the other, you
got to give yourself points for the seven years.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I you know, I talk about my various husbands in
my act, but they just I misnumber them, so you
never know who I'm talking about. So now since I
mean so like kind of with a chronological order, I
I am going to stay mum on him. But very
a wonderful guy.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Okay, I don't believe you. I don't believe he was
a wonderful guy. I believe he was an un wonderful guy.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
He you know what, through the years, now we have
gotten a good relationship. Okay, that's good, and I'm very
happy about that.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Talking about what really happened and saying this person has
gotten better or life has gotten better, or you guys
have grown or whatever that that's okay too. You're talking
about things that you did in the past that maybe
you wouldn't have repeated and you're glad you got through.
And maybe this guy is glad he got through some stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Oh yes, regardless of it was definitely improved. But the
point is is when I got divorced, I had the
kids all the time, and then his attorney said, if
you don't take the kids half the time, you're not
going to get custody. So when they were gone and
I was living at the apartments on Barum, you know
(25:35):
that they used to be something now that they gave
up department furnished because I left the house. Right now
I'm in a little one bedroom apartment with two kids,
starting over. And when those kids are gone, you're just like, WHOA,
what have I done?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Now?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I have nothing to you know, talk about lonely. So
I thought, what can I do with this loneliness? Where
shall I go on these two and a half to
three nights a week. And I thought going to the
movie somehow, going to the movies for one buying a
ticket for one seemed really sad, right.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That's even lonelier than staying home.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Yes, and you know dinner for one, table for one
is also And I didn't eat that much, so I
didn't want to spend I didn't really have so when I.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Do anerexit go to dinner, like I'm trying to figure out,
Like what he's said, so much money. You could go
to the nicest restaurants and still not spend much.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I would never take myself to dinner because I wouldn't
eat a dinner. I would eat some of our seats
for dinner, so that's a staple.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
But where I did go was the comedy store, okay,
because you blend him with the crowd, and you could
buy a ticket at that time. I don't know what
it is now, but you bought a ticket at eight,
you could be there till two in the morning. You
had to have two drinks. You could nurse those two
drinks for a long time. And I would go there
(27:05):
almost nightly. Wow, when I did have my kids. And
then as I was there after a week or two,
I realized seeing some of the same comics over, I
would go to the original room. Oh this is an act.
I did not know that before. I thought they're just
you know, hilarious. Oh yeah, just spontaneous, spontaneously combusting. And
(27:32):
one night a comic did not show and the guy
on stage, whose name was Jackie Diamond, I don't know
what his real name was, even though we started dating later,
but I did it so many people anyway, he was there.
There was like seven people in the audience. I was one.
There was a lesbian lady sitting next to me who
(27:52):
was trying to buy me drinks and I was saying, oh, no,
thank you, no, thank you, And so he was introducing
somebody they weren't there, and the guy in the back
just said to continue. You know, He's like, oh no,
I have to keep going in I said, you're good,
you can do it, or something like that, and he said,
you think this is easy, and I'm I was like,
(28:13):
and he said, why don't you come up here and
tell a joke? And this lady over here had put
her hand like on it was on the inside of
my chair, like an inch away from my knee. So
I was like, jumping on stage.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
We're escaping a lesbian lifestyle to jump on stage for
an even worse comedians lifestyle. I don't know. Maybe you
should have saved in that chair. You don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
As you know, I have this molesting history. So anybody
that makes forward motions like that, I'm If I make
a forward motion, fine, but nobody, don't don't touch me.
So I jumped up there and told my first joke,
and that's how I got into comedy. And then what
did I talk about? I'm concising now so you can
get to your story, which is I've been blabbing this
whole time.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I don't have a story. I just have a question
that you're going to keep on blobbing about. So don't
worry about it. Okay, it's all good.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Okay. Well I jumped up there. I told a joke
that was just a joke that you know, right, you know,
and and it got a laugh, and then I started
dating that guy for minutes. And then I decided to
try stand up and I went into what was so
(29:19):
obvious about me is that I'm divorced with kids and
my mom was married seven times. And I went into
that and that turned my life around, and had I
not been so sad and beside myself right, and also
a person that now didn't do drugs or anything bad,
(29:40):
I would not have reached the comedy store as a solution.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Right, So let me ask this question, which is still
not my thing, but I want to know. So what
gave you the strength? Then? It sounded like you were
you had left of tough marriage and then somehow gotten
the strength to sort of stopped taking you know, drugs
or you know.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Yeah, which I had stopped years ago.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
That seems hard.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
And eating again, not being anorexic.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
How'd you overcome those things even before you reach the
stage of the coming store.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Well, I know this will lead you off, but I
got into scientology when I was in my twenties and
instantly started eating. So when I was approached on the
street while I was waiting for my drug dealer, minding
my own business back in the day, that's how long
(30:36):
ago it was. You had to wait. I had to
wait for my drug dealer on the street that we
did not have cell phones or pages. Right, you you
made a plan, whether.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Your drugs the old fashion way, Yeah, the.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Old fashioned way. I'll meet you at the corner. And
while I was waiting at that corner, I got approached,
bamboozled whatever into uh taking a test and then taking
a class, and that class just basically turned.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Me around that it's not a bamboozle.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Then it's just a But it was a bamboozle at
the beginning because I did not want to go, but
I did not want help. I was not looking for answers.
But this guy who was cute, his name was Ken.
I never saw him again. It was my inability to communicate,
my inability to say what I really thought, that saved me.
(31:32):
Because if I had that ability, you want to do
are personality test, I'd be like, no, I don't give
a shit about my personality. I want drugs. I would
have said that, But instead I was like, well, and
now I found myself taking this test, and you should
take this communication course. Oh yes, I'll go there, you know,
just trying to get out of it. It was ten dollars.
(31:55):
That's not much you could write a check right and
back in those days, and you didn't even I knew
it was going to.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Be I mean, they're famous. Scientology is a little famous
for them starting you off a little bit and then
they want more as time goes on, and what what
what you to get to the different levels?
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Yeah, yeah, I've done all of them. I've done everything,
done everything. I wrote a bad check and uh, I
was like, huh, you know, I bet the test didn't
show you about that part of my personality. But in
the eighties you didn't even get any bounced check charges. Okay,
that was the good old days.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Oh man, I can't bank like that anymore.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
No, yeah, but uh so I then did that little
class and uh continued on and just resonated with me
that you're that you. You know, I never thought about it,
like you're in control of your hands, Like my hands
are not hitting me while I'm talking to you. They're
just sitting here. I'm in control of my legs. They're
not running out of the room. I'm not just hey, Jake, Doug,
(32:52):
take me to the chair. So how interesting that to
just buy it as normal that you're not in control
of your thoughts, that you end up thinking a lot
of thoughts that you don't want to think. It appealed
to me to be more in control that well, I
could I put in any control on my thoughts? Could
(33:13):
I think more better thoughts and then maybe not hate
myself so much? And others right and others right, and
maybe I might not be depressed, and so out came
this sense of humor. Out came this, this, this and
this and still that's and that's probably why I went
the seven years. Still. I was super duper depressed when
(33:36):
that marriage ended. It's not like it was a magic
wand and I never felt any sad things again. But
that's what helped me transform out of my uh eighty
nine pounds when I got in scientology and I'm one
hundred and I step on the scale every day. Do
you step on the scaleverry day?
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Oh god, no, oh oh no, I'm afraid of what
I'd see.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
That's okay, don't be alone with.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
The question I have now is you start to do
stand up that one time and you tell a joke
that you already knew. The difference between telling a joke
that you already knew and creating an act, writing your
own jokes about your own life or but whatever, and
doing that and being able to say that is a
whole other thing. I just started doing stand up again.
(34:37):
I used to do it when I was very young.
I started doing stand up again. And it's a completely
different thing to write material. Hone the material, edit the material,
say the material, try to memorize the material and then
make it conversational enough that it is Then no longer
seems like you're telling people jokes, but you're telling people
a conversation. Yeah, that's a whole thing.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Yeah, how did you get there? Well, when I was younger,
you know, so since my dad was abusive, I guess
you know, I'm putting this together while talking to you.
All the negative things in my life have turned out
to be very positive. I if you don't, you know,
kill yourself to before you find it today. But you know,
(35:21):
my dad had a penchant for hitting and such. So
one of the things that I got away with as
a way to stay in my room was to do
extra credit reports. So I was all you know that
was not frowned upon in my family. Oh she's studying.
Let her study, But you know, you can only study
so long, you can only write so many extra credit reports.
(35:43):
I was that girl that would come in with three
extra credit reports every night because I was staying in
my room. But I had a fish tank jay that
I loved, and this fish tank I was steal money
because we do you know, there's that criminal pensiont so
many from my mom's purse only twenty nine or thirty
nine cents at a time, because that's the price of
(36:04):
a fish at the time. And I will go sneak
out to the store through my window, go to the store,
cross this field and down the street and back and
get a fish. And I populated this fish tank, and
then I would watch the fish tank like TV. And
I would consider myself a scientist. But when I look
(36:26):
back through my fish diaries, I'm like, well, this fish
is having an affair with this fish and blahlah blah.
I was always writing. And one of my fish who
was biting the tails of other fish, I had to
put him in solitary confinement. So I got a bowl,
but I put it by the tank so he could
see what he was missing and learn. Yes, and I
(36:49):
gave him ten days. Well he killed himself. So this
is what is in the fish story. I came home
one day from school, Catholic school. God's watching us, Hey God,
and my fish was crispy on the floor and kind
of in a you know, Chad carpety. He had jumped out.
And I came to the conclusion scientifically that he killed
(37:10):
himself because he knew that he could never be back
with them, and that he wasn't fit for social So
I did that. That was my scientific okay, But anyway,
I was always writing. Besides the extra credit reports. I
was writing all these things about my fish and their
personal life and who was dating who? All that to say.
(37:34):
I then I then wrote some plays about a rabbit
who was running away from home. I was writing to
and all my extra credit. Everything I did in my
room had a pencil connected to it or a pen
So I was writing, whether it's copy. And when I
say writing, I mean copying things from the children's encyclopedia,
it's for my extra credit report, or writing about my
(37:56):
fish or writing a play about a rabbit. I was writing.
So writing. So when I started going out with Jackie Diamond,
I met a female comic who I liked a lot,
and she did characters but didn't have strong punchlines, and
I said, hey, maybe I could write some for you.
So I had a lot of I loved writing, and
(38:19):
so I wrote punchlines for other comics and still do
and still do. So the writing came very easily, and
it's great just having the guts to stand up and
say something. I just finally thought, well, what. I don't
even know anybody here, so I could do this, sure,
but the writing came first.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
So my original question was, but it's where almost at
the end, But it was going to be, how do
I translate the difficulties in my life, the sort of
big traumas and translate that to comedy, which is something
that you seem to have done very very well. Yeah,
but I'm putting that aside for a second because I
(39:01):
don't think I might. None of my traumas seem to
stack up to your least. The least amount of trauma
you've ever had is still the bigger than any trauma.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Yes, I'm very lucky that way. I've had a lot
of trauma.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
So you had all that. Another question I have, because
you've led such an interesting life and have had a
lot of trauma, how are you on forgiveness? Have you
forgiven the husbands and the relatives and the parents like
or do and you don't even have to forgive. You've
found a way to sort of, at least in your
heart place it so like this is this is what,
(39:35):
this is where how I can make sense of it?
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Absolutely? You know, Hey, one of the first things, can
we go back to science told you. But he said
is never accept an invitation to hate, but to try
and love the person despite all the reasons. So you
have to kind of first well I did first kind
of try to apply that to myself. So I've done
(40:00):
horrible stuff, and it was you know, they have a
certain procedure for doing that, but it was in doing
that that really helped me.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
You know.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Nelson Mandela has that fantastic quote, which I will butcher
because I don't have it memorized and you should put
it on the screen. But basically, after he was imprisoned
for what thirty three years, yep, for nothing, for being
an amazing person, and then talk about what hatred and
upset you might have from that, and yet he said
(40:34):
something like, if I walk around with this hatred and
this bitterness, I will still be imprisoned. And if I
did not forgive my father for the incest and the
various things that occurred, and forgive myself for making bad
decisions and starving myself for six years and blah blah blah,
(40:55):
what chance have I of happiness? So forgiving one hundred percent,
I don't know that I'm one hundred.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Think this fantastic that you can forgive. I don't know
that I would necessarily need to forgive. I would want
to understand, in other words, the things that when people
have hurt me in the past, I kind of want
to look at where they were coming from in their lives,
not in that moment, but in their lives, what brought
them to this moment. Yes, and then I can understand it.
(41:23):
I don't even even have to forgive it, but I
just want to understand what brought them to that place.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I think mathematically that is part of the equation. Understanding
begets forgiveness for one hundred percent. My father, who had
a lot of wonderful qualities but had an alcohol problem,
so then would black out and so I didn't even
know what that was at the time, but that's what
was going on. And you know, for the various things
(41:50):
he did that were sadistic, he was also an extremely
productive person who gave a great you know, paid for
me to go to college, right, food on our plates,
blah blah blah. It was very patriotic at the time.
It was you know, he was like by American blah
blah blah, this is the greatest country. And you know,
(42:13):
he met his demise. My father was murdered, So you
know what I mean, I have a lot of drama.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Your father's murdered, you.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Know, live by the sord, died by the sort a
little yeah, we didn't even get he got to be fifty.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
It seems like you have plenty of material for your
one woman show.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
What's it called again, The Adventures of a Slutty Girl
with an Eating Disorder?
Speaker 1 (42:32):
The Adventures of a Slutty Girl with an Eating disorder
A disorder at the Broadwater.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
At the Broadwater Theater, and the first starts June seventh
through June twenty seventh. So I'm very excited about it,
and you can. It'll be on my Instagram. Should I
get my Instagram and stuffer my Instagram which is Andrea
r Abbot which is spelled abb ate right, and on
(42:59):
tik talk Andrea Abbott abb a t e abb a
t e five four four.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
We do do one thing and I'm going to do
it before we finish, which is we have it. We
take a listener mail. Now it's time for listener man.
This is sent in by Maynard and he wrote, what
is your sacred place that is not a holy place?
In other words, if you could, if you could choose
the last thing you see in this world, what would
(43:29):
it be?
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Well, and I'm going to exclude family members.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Yeah, it's going to not be any it's not going
to be a person. It's going to be a place, right.
And I would be in Paris or Switzerland, because I
like that end of death. You can do it Switzerland,
so you don't have to wait, you know, So I
could be that. But I if I could just be
sitting on a park bench in Paris, in this seventh district,
I'd be so happy.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
I would be so happy.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
Uh. And for me, the last thing I'd want to see,
I guess is the number of subscribers to my YouTube channel.
Don't be alone with Jake Cogan. So if I had
reached the number, like I don't know, if you guys can.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Help member, then imagine number is like fifty thousand something,
some big number like that.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
I think right now we're hovering in the two thousands,
so we need real help.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
But if I looked at that, I'm about to die
and I see like we're at thirty five hundred, it's
going to be a very sad. That's going to be
a very heartbreaking So you gotta so I need help.
I need people to subscribe to the YouTube channel, don't
be alone with Jake Cogan. But the real answers, I
what would be the last thing I'd want to see?
(44:45):
I don't know. I mean, I guess something that would
allow me to feel good about going wherever next is.
So maybe if I mean against it, you're asking about
something that's here on earth, not a vision of something. Yes,
So I don't know. Maybe maybe if there's a picture
of all my ancestors or something that was something that
(45:07):
connected me to the past in the deep way, so
that I knew that there was a I felt that
there might have been a future.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yes, yes, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
I love Gettle in Ukraine or something like that. Maybe
maybe yeah, yeah, yeah, your dog dogs are cute. See
the last thing I would see the dog face dog.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
And you know, I'm not going to be on a
park bench. I'm going to revise that. I'm going to
be in my gorgeous uh apartment on my bed looking
out at the architecture in Paris that I love, and
maybe I will have my dog. But I think it's
a little selfish because what's going to happen to the dog.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
I'll just be there right in the ninth district with
that beautiful sure district, the seventh. Okay, very nice, Yeah, okay,
very beautiful. Well, Henry, thank you for being here. You're awesome.
It was a great experience talking to you and getting
to know you better. Oh. Thanks, this was a fantastic
Thanks for being here and being able to swoop in
at a moment's notice. Beautiful. Good luck with your photographs.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Oh, thank you.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
They're gonna be great.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
I'm sure I'm sure they will.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
And uh and and and thank you for being here,
and thank you for being here. Uh, don't be alone.
You spend time with people. You get to know people.
It's very interesting. I got to tell you, it's a
great part of my life, and I think it should
be a big part of your life. So don't be alone.
Write to me at dB A w JK at gmail
dot com for all your concerns and comments and just
to say hello and I'll see you next time.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
Yeah, listen to this guy.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
Don't be alone with j
Straw Hut Media.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hi, I'm Andrea Abbott and I am now being forced
to do an intro for the show called Don't Be
Alone with Jake Cogan? Is that good enough? Can I go?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Now? Do it again? Hi?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm Andrea Abbott and I'm on don't be Alone? You
really don't want to be alone with j Cogan.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Don't be Alone with JJ Cogan.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Hey, gang, welcome to Don't Be Alone with Jake Cogan.
I am your genial host, Jay Cogan, and I'm so
glad you're here. I want to remind you to write
to me at dbawjk at gmail dot com with all
your suggestions, your comments, and especially your viewer male suggestions
that we can ask our guests. I want to remind
you to subscribe to the show. Subscribe on YouTube, be
(00:50):
a YouTube subscriber. Those are very special people in my
heart and I need about I don't know two, maybe
three hundred, no, seventy thousand more subscribers, yeah, seven seventy thousand,
so that would be very helpful. If you subscribe, you
can send the show links to the show, the ones
that you like to friends. That's fun, so please do that.
(01:13):
We have a great show. For you today. We just
recorded it and it was a surprise to me. I
had a question that I was going to ask about
my life, and I never got to it because our
guest was so interesting and had such a varied experience
in life that it was fascinating. Andrea Abbott is our guest.
She's a comedian, she's a writer. She's worked on television shows,
(01:34):
she's been a stand up. She has a one woman
show coming out called Adventures of a Slutty Girl with
an Eating Disorder something like that, and it's it's if
it's a fraction of her actual life and her story,
then it's going to be very, very entertaining because she's
had quite a varied life and you're gonna hear all
(01:55):
about it as we go through the show. And when
we close one door, another one opens and it's another adventure.
And what's remarkable about her is through all of her
trauma and all of her pain and all of her excitement,
she's remained somebody who seems to be remarkably optimistic and
happy and forward thinking and positive and how wonderful. So
(02:18):
I can't wait for you to get to know her,
just like I got to know her. It's fantastic. And
here she is, Andrew Abbott, don't be alone with how
many kids you have?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Should we talk about this on the air.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
We're on the air.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Oh, we're on the air. I didn't know that. Okay, great,
Well I have four kids that live.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Okay, that's good. All right, So let me introduce you
and Andrew Habit, a writer, a comedian, a producer, and
apparently a model because you are you are a lot
of photo shoots, going to leaving here to go to
a photo shoot. And you were at a photo shoot
when I contacted you earlier last week.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
And I did a photo shoot yesterday. But that's very rare.
That's just all coincidence, is.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
The picture time. So but we're talking about your kids.
So you have four kids that lived, Yeah, fantastic, four.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Kids, five abortions, so minus one kid basically. Okayhere I'm
met and mathematic right net total your total minus one?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Okay, So all right, so you're and the eight ranges
of the children.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Are forty to twenty one.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay, that's a big range. That's a big rain, nineteen years,
huge range.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I know I was fertile. This is the thing, this
is the problem.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
It was one thing. Making the life choice of just
never stopping having kids is another.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I adopted my last two kids. Okay, my brother was
incarcerated and I end up, you know, stepping in and.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
All right, and was that? Where was the brother's wife?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
There was no wife. There was a girlfriend who had
several of her kids taken away and she was also incarcerated. Okay, yeah,
you know.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
A very weirdmek Hamemark movie. All right, Well, now I
need to know what what happened with your brother? What's
the deal? Was out?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Well, he got out. He since passed. He got out
and die. No, yeah, but he he was so I
hated him growing up. Okay, hated him. He's the type
of guy that would wipe a booger on your back,
right in the middle where you can't get it sure
when your friends are there. Okay, did you have a
brother like that?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I didn't. I had a sister and she did not
wipe any boogers on my back.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
So you were the torturer.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
No, she tortured me in other ways.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
She did.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
She once chased after me with a knife.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I've chased after my brother was a bat and got him.
But and I'm not proud of that, but he also, uh,
one of his good moves is he would rip up
a whole thing of toilet paper and toss it like
I'd turn off the shower. He'd sneak in there. We
had no locks on our doors, and then just toss
it all in so I'm not covered with toilet paper
like a human pinotta. So he was asking for it, yeah,
(05:02):
you know, in my book.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
And that's what he went to jail for, the paper thing.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yes, finally he was no. You know, he went to
jail several times. I never got a straight story. He'll
be saying, you know, I got a rest of returning
left right, you know, on her right hand. But he
was in a stolen car. He doesn't mention that part.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
But best not to investigate too deeply. Okay, all right,
so you don't know what he went to jail for,
but he went to jail.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Drugs were involved, okay, theft was involved, right, I always.
And then I got you know, then I stepped in
as a maternal figure, kind of like the white Bernie Mac.
That's why I say, yeah, you know, and uh, and
I'm really happy that I did. And I'm really happy
that I did.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah, that investment's worth it. That's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Absolutely. And then when my brother came out Jay, which
was are he winning? He got a rest for you know,
he got six years, but with good behavior you can
get out early, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
So I don't know, but I'm I'm thankful. I don't know,
but I believe you. Yeah, So six years turned in
two three, six years.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Because no, because he did not have good feedings. But anyway,
when he got out, I thought, God, why do I
have so much empathy for a kid but not an adult?
So why don't I just raise him too? So I'll
adopt him right as well. So then he came to
live with me for his last for ten years and
(06:27):
turned out to be his last ten years. But he
and then then we became best friends. That booger wiping
brother became my very good friend.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
What changed in him that allowed you to to become
best friends?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
What changed in him was living with me. We had
terrible parents, and we could get into that later, but
we didn't have you know, he never had a chance. Really,
And I was the oldest and still I'm the oldest
of anybody I know, so I've retained that title. But
I just thought I'm going to just take responsibility for him.
(07:03):
So I just did everything for him, and I guess
he was maybe love for the first time. He started
taking classes and doing self improvement. He got off all
drugs and dad I was such a helper and a
lovely guy.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Did he start a work of some kind that he liked.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
He helped around the house, and there was a ton
of work. I have twelve chickens, I have four dogs.
My husband's got two hundred and fifty thousand bees in
the backyard. He's my fourth husband. There's kids. I think
I'm leaving something out. Oh, I have like twenty five.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
First Well, the time it takes to count two hundred
and fifty thousand bees, just to count them.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yes, that's a big job, that's huge, huge, just that survey,
the demographics, what is its census taking.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
That's the bees and to really identify one bee from another.
That takes work and name them all.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
But they don't live very long. I think there're seventeen days.
My husband talks about bees incessantly. I never play attention,
but I don't think they live long.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
So we digress. So your your your brother, you and
your brother and how many other siblings to do there's
five kids, five kids in Fresno. Yeah, okay, And so
you're raised in Fresno, which is a very sort of
weird little town.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Jeffrey Dahmer's mother moved there after he was arrested because
she would fit in. I don't know why, and apparently,
and I don't know if it's true, but there's been
a fact slash rumor. I don't know that his brother
moved also there and then changed his name and still
lives there, but we don't know who it is.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Yeah, that would make sense.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah, I would definitely change the name.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah exactly, yea, but yeah, but it changed his name
to man Eater, So it's like Billy mann Eater.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
The Hall and Oates song.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Sure, okay, So so five brothers and sisters. You were
the oldest dude, you say, okay, and this brother that
you adopted was were in the lineup?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Next one day?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Next one down?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Okay, next one?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And are you still close with the others? Uh?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
My sister just passed away this month.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Oh I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah so she but I'm not so she's gone. So now,
so is your sister.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Alive nor sister passed as well?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
It's kind of interesting when you're like, we're five or
four or three.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
But oh wow, yeah, well I'm down to one.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
You're down to one.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
One yeah, just me.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
But it was only ever two, It was only two,
so you haven't felt the contrition of the just.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
It was a big contrition that one time.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yeah, that one time. And were you close with your sister?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So it's a bummer. Not only
is it a bummer when you lose your sibling because
you love somebody and somebody, but it's very interesting your siblings.
My sister is the only one that knew exactly what
my childhood was like, Like I had a shared memory
with what it was to grow up and where we
(09:55):
went up and who we met and who were parents
our parents really were, and what everything was all that
it was shared only by one other person.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
And now she's gone, yes, and you're in charge of
the vault.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I have the vault, and I can also just make
shit up. Okay, nobody's going to call me on it
at all, which is fine.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah. I left when I was sixteen, so in a half,
and I came here and I got early acceptance to UCLA,
so I didn't So my brother was fourteen, and everybody
else was like too all the way down, So I
just tried to escape. I didn't really come to LA
to go to college. I came to LA to go
(10:36):
to college to leave. So I achieved my goal the
second right, I got here. But anyway, then it was
fun being at UCLA. But so I didn't really all
those years with my brother. I didn't reconnect with him
till forty forty years old, thirty eight forty. That's when
(10:58):
we then reconnect because he was busy living his life,
a life of crime, right yeah, and I was not involved.
And he had two other kids, one who's you know
now in prison for manslaughter and blah blah blah. So things.
My family was a good family to leave, right, Well.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I mean your family and my family are like mirror
images of each other. Oh no, exactly the opposite. Everybody's
pretty uh pretty boring.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Well, you know what, and I aspired to be. I
married two Jewish guys for that reason. I've like try
to get into a good family. Right, What is it
like to just discuss where's dinner? What is it like
I'm on a group text? I turned my phone off
that Charlie, which is my nephew, good news, got manslaughter
only ten years. That is a group text of yay, right,
(11:50):
And I'm just like, oh, so I've always been attracted
to the boring, which doesn't sound boring. It sounds like
a vacation.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Right. But if you want to marry somebody into talking
about what's for dinner? When you married you that's all
you're talking about, Yes, for dinner, just where to go
for dinner? How was dinner, why dinner wasn't great?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
And where will we eat tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Tomorrow?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Let's start planning. Now.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You know, we had a lot of alcoholics in my family.
So I remember writing to my mom a letter, a
letter of like, Mom, I'm in Chicago with my husband's parents.
Guess what we're talking about? Food? We're talking about this
and this is my family really didn't eat that much.
(12:34):
They drink, drank, drank the meal, forgot about the meal.
And certainly food was not a topic when you were awake.
It was not. In fact, when I was young, one
of my jobs early on was to make my mom's coffee,
uh and bring it to her. And it had to
be brought to her right away with just a daughter
(12:55):
of cream and a lot of sugar. She would take
like three SIPs of it and achieve her goal, which
was to burn all of her taste buds in her mouth,
like purposely burn her mouth so her little taste buds
couldn't get her okay, and so she couldn't taste anything
for the rest of the day, so she would not
be attracted to food and not lose her willpower to
(13:17):
not eat okay. And it was like the Ozembek of
the sixties. Sure, so I grew up in that attitude
of don't eat, don't look at bread, how many bites
of rice are you having?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So you came to Los Angeles UCLA. You went to UCLA,
and then what was the road to becoming a writer
and a comedian? What was that road?
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Along? Arduous road? I wanted to go to UCLA and
study anything in the theater arts.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
And you knew coming to Los Angeles wasn't it wasn't
just to escape home. It was mainly escape home. But
you were hoping for a career in the arts already, yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
And my parents said, no, you cannot do that. And
since my senior goal was to leave and also not
be in debt, I didn't so and I was a
little on the young and foolish side, definitely in the
foolish area. So I just had to do in my mind,
do what they say. So then I became an economics major,
(14:22):
and then I kind of went from there to being
a druggie and kind of losing my way and later on.
In fact, that's what this, that's what this postcard I
brought to show Adventures of a Slutty Girl with an
(14:42):
eating disorder, which is a very funny one woman show
is about that starts June seventh.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Okay, where can we see this one woman show.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
At a beautiful theater here? Right here, the Broadwater Theater
on Santa Monica sixty three, Santa Monica. Yes, right next
to a really cool bar.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Don't be alone with JG.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
But anyway, that was my you know, trajectory down. I
made the mistake of thinking, you know what, when I
leave home, all my problems will be gone because I'm
leaving my problems behind there in Fresno.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But Sadley, well, you're carrying with yourself and the history
that you have and this genetic inclination to find substance
and stuff. Yeah, so I mean that you can't run
away from that.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
No, nor from the you know, internalized invalidation that you
do all the time. And and you know, we had
a lot of our family, you know, my brother, As
I say, my brother Hal got the worst of it,
I think because my dad abused him so much physically,
But there was also incest that fell upon me. So
(16:08):
and still I always say I would, you know, I
don't want to upset anybody that's a survivor of sexual
whatever they call it assault. But I saw what happened
to my brother, and I feel like I was the
lucky one.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Right, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean no,
in that situation, doesn't not like anybody's the lucky one.
That's not. Yes, there's different kinds of bad.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
There's different kinds of bad, and I feel like my
bad was. Yeah, anyway, I kind of was maybe more resilient,
I don't know, but I bounced out of my bad.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Gaming the helms is fantastic. That's a good start. Yes,
that is a bit distract But then you were looking
for validation elsewhere and sort of still feeling your pain
and still sort of trying to tag numb it with
other stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
With lack of eating, that was my big thing lack
of eating. So anyway, so this is all the way
to get to the e comic or writer, right. I
then pulled myself together, married one guy that didn't work
out so good. That was only a one day marriage.
I think I have almost Britney's Fears type of marriage.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Okay, but that that doesn't count kind of.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I don't think it counts. But it was a marriage.
But it wasn't even a divorce. That's how quick that
marriage was the next day and we didn't consummate it
the next day. Well after the marriage, I was like,
oh my god, what am I doing? I was pregnant
at the time, which is what the only reason I
didn't have sex okay with baby someone else who knew?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Who knew?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Jay? Who did?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I didn't know when I've.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Ever done tests, but I had. I had some runner
ups sure, okay, also probably very different than you're sure.
Hence a slutty girl exactly living up twenty.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I have never is true, I have never almost gotten
married because I was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I have not had that experience, right to anybody, This
guy was so kind of looked like a beatle and
I've always loved Paul McCartney. And you know, my husband's
English and doesn't isn't dissimilar to Paul McCartney. Again, but
so yeah, so I met him. He really liked me.
He asked me to marry and we got married like
(18:17):
within a week. Don't do that, people don't do that.
Uh So after the wedding, like I think I was
pretty good during the wedding.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
During the act ceremony, you were okay, nothing during the ceremony.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
I mean, it was a fun adventure. So my first wedding,
I didn't realize it was my first, you know, because
you don't know until you have your second, third, and
fourth and maybe fifth. Who knows, Jay, life is long.
You don't know you my listeners.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
My wife always introduces me as her first husband.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Oh that's darling. I introduced my husband as my current husband.
That's probably not that endearing. But anyway, So, but when
we went to the dinner after the wedding, you know
where I was like, oh no, this is terrible mistake,
this is off.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
What was what did he do at dinner?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
It just dawned on me. I don't know this person.
I don't want to. I'm telling you I was immature,
So uh. I then talked to him all night about
my record albums. I didn't want to go to a
hotel or anything. Let's just go to my place because
the hotel really sets up something's going to happen. And
(19:30):
now I didn't want anything to happen, so I have
to go get something at my house. So now that
I'm at my house, I just want to show you this,
these records. I don't know, I didn't know it. Maybe
he was a person that was listening, and I was
just blabbing on about the runaways and such until morning came.
(19:55):
And then in the morning I said, I think we've
made a mistake. I think I don't know you well enough.
We shouldn't be married anyway. I got him to agree
to let's just go to the guy who married us
and talk to him. And he said, I haven't sent
(20:17):
the papers in. Do you want me just to rip
them up? And I'm like, yes, please, could you? So
what does that count? Does that count? I mean, there
was counts.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It was a ceremony, it counts, but it doesn't really
count you have it annulled, or even if it was
legally annulled after a day. I had a buddy who
got married in Las Vegas and then it was just
sort of like it was a pain, and they asked
for him to get it annulled, but he did. It
took way longer to get it annulled than it was
to just decide, hey, let's get married.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Well, I feel the things that kind
of push it into not a marriage is the fact
that we never consummated, that we never had sex or after.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
There are lots of marriages that get consummated. I'm telling
you that happens. That happens. Well, it's the vows. It's
the vows.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
So those vowls are you know what my mom called
the marriage. My mom has been married seven times and
she's since gone, but she would call a wedding a
piece of paper and a cake. Okay, it's a vows vowels, right.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Sure, seven times. That's that's an optimist. That's somebody who
really that thinks I believe in marriage just haven't hit
the right one.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Yeah, yeah, she You know, anyway, she she was a character,
this one last guy that she was going to marry
and she didn't. But she would call me late at night.
You know what I mean by late at night is nine.
Never accept my mother's calls after eight. If you're not
wanting to talk to someone who is really uh tanked,
(21:44):
you just knew, don't pick up the phone. But one
night I was watching NYPD Blue and I'm so absorbed,
you know, just involved in it, that I accidentally just
you know, picked up and it was my mom and
she's going on in her drunken cadence about the guy
she's met named Rudy. I can't do my mom, I
met someone and oh he's a fantastic his name is
(22:08):
Rudy anyway, and she's going to marry him. But she
has one concern And I'm like, is that you just
met him? No, no, no, honey has said he hasn't
had kids.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
He's gonna want kids.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Basically, after like half an hour, I want to know
if you will have his child for him. I'm like, Mom,
what are you talking about? And I didn't want to say, Mom,
you're drunk, but I just said, why don't we talk
about when you've had more seep? And she just I'm
not drunk, Tell her, Rudy, tell her. And now I
(22:43):
find out that Rudy is on the call. The whole time,
and I'm like, Rudy's been on the call, and she's like, well,
he has a right. We're talking about his kids. He
has it right to be involved. And I'm like, oh
my god, yeah, that's a that's a pretty easy.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Now, that's a pretty fine. I mean, not only are
you missing Blue Bloods, you know, like like you've got
to get back to the show exactly, but also like
you have plenty of kids. You don't need to worry.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yeah, I'm like, who murdered that florist? I'll ever know now,
But anyway, my mom got off the phone with me,
very upset that I am a greedy vulture and want
more money when she dies, and that's why that's the
only reason you won't have Rudy's child. Then she decides
she'll call my younger sister at least, who's prettier and
(23:27):
better all all around.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
And I'm sure at least did not agree as well.
That's good. Okay, So we're on the road to becoming
an actor and a comedian. I just didn't want to
stop the story. The stories are pretty good, so I
don't want to stop the story. But I'll always bringing back.
So where along the path you're getting married to all
these married.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Once to that guy. So now that leads me up
to my my next husband, which I say next because
I usually don't count that first guy. But my next
husband was the you know, I don't want to give
anybody away, but anyway, that my next husband. So when
that went bad, so I have a child already, right,
and now we have a child, my new husband and
(24:11):
I and that broke apart after seven years, and.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
When that was I but that's way better than one day.
So if you're measuring one marriage against the other, you
got to give yourself points for the seven years.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I you know, I talk about my various husbands in
my act, but they just I misnumber them, so you
never know who I'm talking about. So now since I
mean so like kind of with a chronological order, I
I am going to stay mum on him. But very
a wonderful guy.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Okay, I don't believe you. I don't believe he was
a wonderful guy. I believe he was an un wonderful guy.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
He you know what, through the years, now we have
gotten a good relationship. Okay, that's good, and I'm very
happy about that.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Talking about what really happened and saying this person has
gotten better or life has gotten better, or you guys
have grown or whatever that that's okay too. You're talking
about things that you did in the past that maybe
you wouldn't have repeated and you're glad you got through.
And maybe this guy is glad he got through some stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Oh yes, regardless of it was definitely improved. But the
point is is when I got divorced, I had the
kids all the time, and then his attorney said, if
you don't take the kids half the time, you're not
going to get custody. So when they were gone and
I was living at the apartments on Barum, you know
(25:35):
that they used to be something now that they gave
up department furnished because I left the house. Right now
I'm in a little one bedroom apartment with two kids,
starting over. And when those kids are gone, you're just like, WHOA,
what have I done?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Now?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I have nothing to you know, talk about lonely. So
I thought, what can I do with this loneliness? Where
shall I go on these two and a half to
three nights a week. And I thought going to the
movie somehow, going to the movies for one buying a
ticket for one seemed really sad, right.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That's even lonelier than staying home.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Yes, and you know dinner for one, table for one
is also And I didn't eat that much, so I
didn't want to spend I didn't really have so when I.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Do anerexit go to dinner, like I'm trying to figure out,
Like what he's said, so much money. You could go
to the nicest restaurants and still not spend much.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I would never take myself to dinner because I wouldn't
eat a dinner. I would eat some of our seats
for dinner, so that's a staple.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
But where I did go was the comedy store, okay,
because you blend him with the crowd, and you could
buy a ticket at that time. I don't know what
it is now, but you bought a ticket at eight,
you could be there till two in the morning. You
had to have two drinks. You could nurse those two
drinks for a long time. And I would go there
(27:05):
almost nightly. Wow, when I did have my kids. And
then as I was there after a week or two,
I realized seeing some of the same comics over, I
would go to the original room. Oh this is an act.
I did not know that before. I thought they're just
you know, hilarious. Oh yeah, just spontaneous, spontaneously combusting. And
(27:32):
one night a comic did not show and the guy
on stage, whose name was Jackie Diamond, I don't know
what his real name was, even though we started dating later,
but I did it so many people anyway, he was there.
There was like seven people in the audience. I was one.
There was a lesbian lady sitting next to me who
(27:52):
was trying to buy me drinks and I was saying, oh, no,
thank you, no, thank you, And so he was introducing
somebody they weren't there, and the guy in the back
just said to continue. You know, He's like, oh no,
I have to keep going in I said, you're good,
you can do it, or something like that, and he said,
you think this is easy, and I'm I was like,
(28:13):
and he said, why don't you come up here and
tell a joke? And this lady over here had put
her hand like on it was on the inside of
my chair, like an inch away from my knee. So
I was like, jumping on stage.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
We're escaping a lesbian lifestyle to jump on stage for
an even worse comedians lifestyle. I don't know. Maybe you
should have saved in that chair. You don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
As you know, I have this molesting history. So anybody
that makes forward motions like that, I'm If I make
a forward motion, fine, but nobody, don't don't touch me.
So I jumped up there and told my first joke,
and that's how I got into comedy. And then what
did I talk about? I'm concising now so you can
get to your story, which is I've been blabbing this
whole time.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I don't have a story. I just have a question
that you're going to keep on blobbing about. So don't
worry about it. Okay, it's all good.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Okay. Well I jumped up there. I told a joke
that was just a joke that you know, right, you know,
and and it got a laugh, and then I started
dating that guy for minutes. And then I decided to
try stand up and I went into what was so
(29:19):
obvious about me is that I'm divorced with kids and
my mom was married seven times. And I went into
that and that turned my life around, and had I
not been so sad and beside myself right, and also
a person that now didn't do drugs or anything bad,
(29:40):
I would not have reached the comedy store as a solution.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Right, So let me ask this question, which is still
not my thing, but I want to know. So what
gave you the strength? Then? It sounded like you were
you had left of tough marriage and then somehow gotten
the strength to sort of stopped taking you know, drugs
or you know.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Yeah, which I had stopped years ago.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
That seems hard.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
And eating again, not being anorexic.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
How'd you overcome those things even before you reach the
stage of the coming store.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Well, I know this will lead you off, but I
got into scientology when I was in my twenties and
instantly started eating. So when I was approached on the
street while I was waiting for my drug dealer, minding
my own business back in the day, that's how long
(30:36):
ago it was. You had to wait. I had to
wait for my drug dealer on the street that we
did not have cell phones or pages. Right, you you
made a plan, whether.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Your drugs the old fashion way, Yeah, the.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Old fashioned way. I'll meet you at the corner. And
while I was waiting at that corner, I got approached,
bamboozled whatever into uh taking a test and then taking
a class, and that class just basically turned.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Me around that it's not a bamboozle.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Then it's just a But it was a bamboozle at
the beginning because I did not want to go, but
I did not want help. I was not looking for answers.
But this guy who was cute, his name was Ken.
I never saw him again. It was my inability to communicate,
my inability to say what I really thought, that saved me.
(31:32):
Because if I had that ability, you want to do
are personality test, I'd be like, no, I don't give
a shit about my personality. I want drugs. I would
have said that, But instead I was like, well, and
now I found myself taking this test, and you should
take this communication course. Oh yes, I'll go there, you know,
just trying to get out of it. It was ten dollars.
(31:55):
That's not much you could write a check right and
back in those days, and you didn't even I knew
it was going to.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Be I mean, they're famous. Scientology is a little famous
for them starting you off a little bit and then
they want more as time goes on, and what what
what you to get to the different levels?
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Yeah, yeah, I've done all of them. I've done everything,
done everything. I wrote a bad check and uh, I
was like, huh, you know, I bet the test didn't
show you about that part of my personality. But in
the eighties you didn't even get any bounced check charges. Okay,
that was the good old days.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Oh man, I can't bank like that anymore.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
No, yeah, but uh so I then did that little
class and uh continued on and just resonated with me
that you're that you. You know, I never thought about it,
like you're in control of your hands, Like my hands
are not hitting me while I'm talking to you. They're
just sitting here. I'm in control of my legs. They're
not running out of the room. I'm not just hey, Jake, Doug,
(32:52):
take me to the chair. So how interesting that to
just buy it as normal that you're not in control
of your thoughts, that you end up thinking a lot
of thoughts that you don't want to think. It appealed
to me to be more in control that well, I
could I put in any control on my thoughts? Could
(33:13):
I think more better thoughts and then maybe not hate
myself so much? And others right and others right, and
maybe I might not be depressed, and so out came
this sense of humor. Out came this, this, this and
this and still that's and that's probably why I went
the seven years. Still. I was super duper depressed when
(33:36):
that marriage ended. It's not like it was a magic
wand and I never felt any sad things again. But
that's what helped me transform out of my uh eighty
nine pounds when I got in scientology and I'm one
hundred and I step on the scale every day. Do
you step on the scaleverry day?
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Oh god, no, oh oh no, I'm afraid of what
I'd see.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
That's okay, don't be alone with.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
The question I have now is you start to do
stand up that one time and you tell a joke
that you already knew. The difference between telling a joke
that you already knew and creating an act, writing your
own jokes about your own life or but whatever, and
doing that and being able to say that is a
whole other thing. I just started doing stand up again.
(34:37):
I used to do it when I was very young.
I started doing stand up again. And it's a completely
different thing to write material. Hone the material, edit the material,
say the material, try to memorize the material and then
make it conversational enough that it is Then no longer
seems like you're telling people jokes, but you're telling people
a conversation. Yeah, that's a whole thing.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Yeah, how did you get there? Well, when I was younger,
you know, so since my dad was abusive, I guess
you know, I'm putting this together while talking to you.
All the negative things in my life have turned out
to be very positive. I if you don't, you know,
kill yourself to before you find it today. But you know,
(35:21):
my dad had a penchant for hitting and such. So
one of the things that I got away with as
a way to stay in my room was to do
extra credit reports. So I was all you know that
was not frowned upon in my family. Oh she's studying.
Let her study, But you know, you can only study
so long, you can only write so many extra credit reports.
(35:43):
I was that girl that would come in with three
extra credit reports every night because I was staying in
my room. But I had a fish tank jay that
I loved, and this fish tank I was steal money
because we do you know, there's that criminal pensiont so
many from my mom's purse only twenty nine or thirty
nine cents at a time, because that's the price of
(36:04):
a fish at the time. And I will go sneak
out to the store through my window, go to the store,
cross this field and down the street and back and
get a fish. And I populated this fish tank, and
then I would watch the fish tank like TV. And
I would consider myself a scientist. But when I look
(36:26):
back through my fish diaries, I'm like, well, this fish
is having an affair with this fish and blahlah blah.
I was always writing. And one of my fish who
was biting the tails of other fish, I had to
put him in solitary confinement. So I got a bowl,
but I put it by the tank so he could
see what he was missing and learn. Yes, and I
(36:49):
gave him ten days. Well he killed himself. So this
is what is in the fish story. I came home
one day from school, Catholic school. God's watching us, Hey God,
and my fish was crispy on the floor and kind
of in a you know, Chad carpety. He had jumped out.
And I came to the conclusion scientifically that he killed
(37:10):
himself because he knew that he could never be back
with them, and that he wasn't fit for social So
I did that. That was my scientific okay, But anyway,
I was always writing. Besides the extra credit reports. I
was writing all these things about my fish and their
personal life and who was dating who? All that to say.
(37:34):
I then I then wrote some plays about a rabbit
who was running away from home. I was writing to
and all my extra credit. Everything I did in my
room had a pencil connected to it or a pen
So I was writing, whether it's copy. And when I
say writing, I mean copying things from the children's encyclopedia,
it's for my extra credit report, or writing about my
(37:56):
fish or writing a play about a rabbit. I was writing.
So writing. So when I started going out with Jackie Diamond,
I met a female comic who I liked a lot,
and she did characters but didn't have strong punchlines, and
I said, hey, maybe I could write some for you.
So I had a lot of I loved writing, and
(38:19):
so I wrote punchlines for other comics and still do
and still do. So the writing came very easily, and
it's great just having the guts to stand up and
say something. I just finally thought, well, what. I don't
even know anybody here, so I could do this, sure,
but the writing came first.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
So my original question was, but it's where almost at
the end, But it was going to be, how do
I translate the difficulties in my life, the sort of
big traumas and translate that to comedy, which is something
that you seem to have done very very well. Yeah,
but I'm putting that aside for a second because I
(39:01):
don't think I might. None of my traumas seem to
stack up to your least. The least amount of trauma
you've ever had is still the bigger than any trauma.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Yes, I'm very lucky that way. I've had a lot
of trauma.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
So you had all that. Another question I have, because
you've led such an interesting life and have had a
lot of trauma, how are you on forgiveness? Have you
forgiven the husbands and the relatives and the parents like
or do and you don't even have to forgive. You've
found a way to sort of, at least in your
heart place it so like this is this is what,
(39:35):
this is where how I can make sense of it?
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Absolutely? You know, Hey, one of the first things, can
we go back to science told you. But he said
is never accept an invitation to hate, but to try
and love the person despite all the reasons. So you
have to kind of first well I did first kind
of try to apply that to myself. So I've done
(40:00):
horrible stuff, and it was you know, they have a
certain procedure for doing that, but it was in doing
that that really helped me.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
You know.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Nelson Mandela has that fantastic quote, which I will butcher
because I don't have it memorized and you should put
it on the screen. But basically, after he was imprisoned
for what thirty three years, yep, for nothing, for being
an amazing person, and then talk about what hatred and
upset you might have from that, and yet he said
(40:34):
something like, if I walk around with this hatred and
this bitterness, I will still be imprisoned. And if I
did not forgive my father for the incest and the
various things that occurred, and forgive myself for making bad
decisions and starving myself for six years and blah blah blah,
(40:55):
what chance have I of happiness? So forgiving one hundred percent,
I don't know that I'm one hundred.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Think this fantastic that you can forgive. I don't know
that I would necessarily need to forgive. I would want
to understand, in other words, the things that when people
have hurt me in the past, I kind of want
to look at where they were coming from in their lives,
not in that moment, but in their lives, what brought
them to this moment. Yes, and then I can understand it.
(41:23):
I don't even even have to forgive it, but I
just want to understand what brought them to that place.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I think mathematically that is part of the equation. Understanding
begets forgiveness for one hundred percent. My father, who had
a lot of wonderful qualities but had an alcohol problem,
so then would black out and so I didn't even
know what that was at the time, but that's what
was going on. And you know, for the various things
(41:50):
he did that were sadistic, he was also an extremely
productive person who gave a great you know, paid for
me to go to college, right, food on our plates,
blah blah blah. It was very patriotic at the time.
It was you know, he was like by American blah
blah blah, this is the greatest country. And you know,
(42:13):
he met his demise. My father was murdered, So you
know what I mean, I have a lot of drama.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Your father's murdered, you.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Know, live by the sord, died by the sort a
little yeah, we didn't even get he got to be fifty.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
It seems like you have plenty of material for your
one woman show.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
What's it called again, The Adventures of a Slutty Girl
with an Eating Disorder?
Speaker 1 (42:32):
The Adventures of a Slutty Girl with an Eating disorder
A disorder at the Broadwater.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
At the Broadwater Theater, and the first starts June seventh
through June twenty seventh. So I'm very excited about it,
and you can. It'll be on my Instagram. Should I
get my Instagram and stuffer my Instagram which is Andrea
r Abbot which is spelled abb ate right, and on
(42:59):
tik talk Andrea Abbott abb a t e abb a
t e five four four.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
We do do one thing and I'm going to do
it before we finish, which is we have it. We
take a listener mail. Now it's time for listener man.
This is sent in by Maynard and he wrote, what
is your sacred place that is not a holy place?
In other words, if you could, if you could choose
the last thing you see in this world, what would
(43:29):
it be?
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Well, and I'm going to exclude family members.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Yeah, it's going to not be any it's not going
to be a person. It's going to be a place, right.
And I would be in Paris or Switzerland, because I
like that end of death. You can do it Switzerland,
so you don't have to wait, you know, So I
could be that. But I if I could just be
sitting on a park bench in Paris, in this seventh district,
I'd be so happy.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
I would be so happy.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
Uh. And for me, the last thing I'd want to see,
I guess is the number of subscribers to my YouTube channel.
Don't be alone with Jake Cogan. So if I had
reached the number, like I don't know, if you guys can.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Help member, then imagine number is like fifty thousand something,
some big number like that.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
I think right now we're hovering in the two thousands,
so we need real help.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
But if I looked at that, I'm about to die
and I see like we're at thirty five hundred, it's
going to be a very sad. That's going to be
a very heartbreaking So you gotta so I need help.
I need people to subscribe to the YouTube channel, don't
be alone with Jake Cogan. But the real answers, I
what would be the last thing I'd want to see?
(44:45):
I don't know. I mean, I guess something that would
allow me to feel good about going wherever next is.
So maybe if I mean against it, you're asking about
something that's here on earth, not a vision of something. Yes,
So I don't know. Maybe maybe if there's a picture
of all my ancestors or something that was something that
(45:07):
connected me to the past in the deep way, so
that I knew that there was a I felt that
there might have been a future.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yes, yes, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
I love Gettle in Ukraine or something like that. Maybe
maybe yeah, yeah, yeah, your dog dogs are cute. See
the last thing I would see the dog face dog.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
And you know, I'm not going to be on a
park bench. I'm going to revise that. I'm going to
be in my gorgeous uh apartment on my bed looking
out at the architecture in Paris that I love, and
maybe I will have my dog. But I think it's
a little selfish because what's going to happen to the dog.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
I'll just be there right in the ninth district with
that beautiful sure district, the seventh. Okay, very nice, Yeah, okay,
very beautiful. Well, Henry, thank you for being here. You're awesome.
It was a great experience talking to you and getting
to know you better. Oh. Thanks, this was a fantastic
Thanks for being here and being able to swoop in
at a moment's notice. Beautiful. Good luck with your photographs.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Oh, thank you.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
They're gonna be great.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
I'm sure I'm sure they will.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
And uh and and and thank you for being here,
and thank you for being here. Uh, don't be alone.
You spend time with people. You get to know people.
It's very interesting. I got to tell you, it's a
great part of my life, and I think it should
be a big part of your life. So don't be alone.
Write to me at dB A w JK at gmail
dot com for all your concerns and comments and just
to say hello and I'll see you next time.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
Yeah, listen to this guy.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
Don't be alone with j
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