June 13, 2024 • 49 mins
Ever wondered how to navigate the turbulent waters of perimenopause and menopause with grace and confidence? Today we sit down with Mickee Stillman, an expert health and wellness coach with a degree in kinesiology. Mickee offers invaluable insights on understanding and managing midlife hormonal changes, emphasizing the importance of listening to your body and adopting sustainable habits to feel your best. From balancing your maintenance calories to the benefits of hormone testing, she's here to help demystify the often overwhelming world of midlife wellness.
In this episode, we discuss:
1. Physical and hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause.
2. Growth mindset and sustainable habits for midlife well-being.
3. Being part of a supportive community and seeking professional guidance.
You can connect with Mickee on:
Website http://sortafitmick.com
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sortafitmick/
Mickee's 1:1 coaching or group cohorts:
https://www.epnutrition.co/
Join the Midlife Squad:
Want to stay up to date on the Don't Call Me Midlife podcast and community? Click below so we can keep you in the know!
www.itstradish.myflodesk.com/dontcallmemidlife
Hang Out on Social:
Follow Alix on Instagram @everydaywithalix
Follow Nicole on Instagram @touch_of_stass
______________________________________________________________
Help us expand our mom-tourage! Share our podcast with your fellow mom friends and let's conquer midlife together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Don't Call Me Midlife podcast.
I'm Nicole and I'm Alex.
We're your coffee-addicted,wine-loving, amazon-obsessed mom
squad.
Think of us as your new besties, but with a podcast.
And, just like you, we'renavigating the Google-defined
chaos of midlife while wranglinga pack of boys.
But here's the twist we're morethan just moms and wives.
We're on a mission to reclaimour identities beyond motherhood
(00:24):
, and we're bringing you alongfor the wild ride.
Now, we don't pretend to haveall the answers to life's
mysteries, but we're so good atlearning and laughing our way
through them.
So whether you're sipping fromyour trusty Stanley, indulging
in an oat milk latte fromStarbucks or raising a glass of
Whispering Angel, get ready tohang with us Together.
We'll keep it real, have somelaughs and remind you that this
(00:44):
crazy journey called life is oneadventure worth sharing.
Okay, ladies, you are not goingto want to miss this episode.
Our friend Mickey is coming on.
She is a health and wellnesscoach.
She is a PN1 nutrition coach.
She's a personal trainer, a momof three boys.
She lives in California.
She's a personal trainer, a momof three boys.
(01:05):
She lives in California.
She's an awesome person.
Wait, don't forget about herdegree in kinesiology.
Yes, that degree there's more,there's more.
So, if you are in perimenopause,menopause or don't even know
what we're talking about, thisepisode is for you.
You will learn lots of tips andtricks, how to listen to your
(01:25):
body, and just knowing that weare all in this community
together is going to becomforting and that we're
bringing to light all theinformation and you can feel
your best, no matter what age.
Right, nicole?
Absolutely.
The more you know, ladies,let's dive in.
The more you know.
All right, you know, ladies,let's dive in.
(01:50):
The more you know.
All right, hi, happy Thursday.
We have Mickey Stillman here,and I can't even believe that
she found the time to meet withus.
She is one of these people thatI just adore, so I am just so
excited to jump in.
She's going to talk all thingshealth and wellness.
She is a personal trainer, sheis a wellness coach and just
(02:10):
like an overall fun, cool person.
So we're so excited you're here, mickey.
Thanks for being here.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yay, thanks for having me.
I'm super excited.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yay, okay, nicole, first things first.
What's in your cup, girl?
I have a lot of caffeine and Ithought I was going to be
healthier this morning.
So, if my brother's listening,because he gave me some healthy
bone broth to drink but I justdidn't get a chance.
(02:37):
I'm drinking lots of coffeebecause I had a big travel day
yesterday and woke up superearly.
But that's, that's what's in mycup.
That's what's in my cup.
How about you, alex?
Well, to, to probably yoursurprise and maybe the
listener's surprise, I do haveno caffeine.
Um, I normally am supercaffeinated, but today I am
(02:57):
drinking I don't know if youguys drink Spindrift this flavor
, nojito, is like my favorite.
It's like a non-alcoholicmojito, nojito or whatever you
call it.
I guess, so I'm just drinking aseltzer water.
Today I've had some coffee andso I'm good, I'm well-rested, so
I don't need afternoon coffee.
Yay, mickey, what's in your cup?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Okay, I got two cups, you know, because I'm always
carrying all the cups.
I got figurative cups, I gotliteral cups, all the things.
I start my day with lots ofcoffee because I need all the
caffeine a girl can get.
I usually put some proteinpowder in my coffee by like the
second or third cup to kind ofget myself just a little more
(03:43):
leveled out.
And then I go to water withelement and creatine.
So I got all the things.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
So you taught me about the protein in the water.
Do you use a little frother forit?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Protein in my coffee?
Yes, I do, and I will tell you.
I got this really awesomefrother from Ikea for $1.50 and
it like lived its best lifeuntil my husband decided he
wanted to use it in his hot teaand honey and bound it up and
didn't clean it, and I had tothrow it away.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That's so annoying.
That's so annoying.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I don't get a new mini frother for mother's day.
It's game on.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Oh yeah, those frothers, I love those.
I.
I when, uh, you taught me Icould travel with it and I do
that now, and it's such a goodway to just get that extra like
20 grams of protein in there.
You gotta be careful with thatfrother, cause if I'm too
aggressive with the frother,everything falls all over the
place.
I don't know if that happens toyou guys, maybe it's just me.
Okay, so a virgin froth?
(04:40):
I can't even talk virginfrother over here.
I don't use one, do you guys?
Well, I just, I don't know.
I don't know what you don'tknow what you don't know.
So I don't know what I'mmissing.
But do you put in a little bitof powder and froth it up?
Or like what's your?
You know what's the?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
steps.
I just dump protein powder inmy coffee and then just
literally just stick my frotherin there and froth it.
I did learn the trick, though,that there's got.
You know you've got to haveroom, otherwise you're covered
in protein powder in the withthe frother, and that's never
good, that's what's happened tome?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
That's happened to me for sure, but it's like a hot
chocolate, I feel like you wouldlike it, nicole.
Oh, I for sure, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yeah, I definitely use the chocolate and stick it
in there.
It's like a mocha or a hotchocolate.
Yeah, it's so good.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Chocolate element tea .
Speaker 2 (05:31):
I use chocolate true nutrition, uh hydro beef isolate
, so it's straight protein.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Ah, okay, I know Alex uses the chocolate element tea.
So in my coffee it's good andyou coffee it's good In your
coffee.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah, okay, I do.
Yeah, watermelon Element in mywater.
I can't.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Sorry, elementi, I can't.
Okay, nicole, I can't drinkElementi.
I think she's crazy.
I've sent her different flavorsand she can't.
I mean, I love Elementi.
I can put it in, like my.
A drink, like a margarita, it'sso good.
Is it too salty?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
no, I only do like a third or a half a packet.
Oh, I don't dump a whole one,it's too salty for me.
Yeah, just do it.
It was a whole packet in 40ounce.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I just can't, that's a lot, that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Okay, I only listen to Alex it's your fault, alex.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Well, I refresh my water during the day.
I I mean, I do think it's.
It could be a little too salty.
Maybe it's like baby steps,nicole, like just a little
quarter of a packet.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
You know she's a hard .
No, guys, she's a hard, no.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
That's okay.
That's okay.
That's okay.
Okay, we love your drink.
Every time we have a guest on,everyone has a different drink.
So Nicole and I love learningabout like different people's
drinks.
So what do you think aboutmidlife Mickey?
I mean she has three like growndaughters who are beautiful
people Two grown, Two grown Okay.
You have three daughters andyou, if you're watching this
(06:58):
video, you would not even knowthat Mickey was like over 40.
I swear you look so good.
Maybe it's California Cause youlive in like such a fun state.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I do love where I live.
I'm pretty lucky.
But yes, I have three girls,two, two grown daughters, one
that's married and lives out ofstate, so I don't get to see her
very often.
She's 23.
And then I have a 21-year-olddaughter that's getting ready to
go to nursing school and thenwe have our 11-year-old little
fireball.
So who still lives at home?
I forgot you had a little.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
That's so fun.
She's great yeah.
So, she's like prepubescent inyour perimenopausal.
That's what's that like?
Oh, it's great.
That's what's that like.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Oh, it's great, oh yeah, it's a lot of fun.
So, you know, I feel like it'sbetter now that you know I'm
starting to get things kind oflike under control,
perimenopause wise.
But yeah, like the mood swings,the rage, the you know, the low
energy, that was fun for awhile, for sure.
Who?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
can do it best, right ?
You or your daughter Wait?
that's true, nicole because wetalk a lot about like
perimenopause, menopause, likeour second puberty, but we have
boys, right.
So it's like there's differentthings that we've got going on
with our boys in puberty asopposed to I never thought about
this, you guys.
Girls, wow, oh my God.
Now I'm glad I don't have adaughter.
(08:19):
Yeah, we're both going throughpuberty.
My poor husband, oh my God.
Yes, we need a support groupfor these husbands, cause,
literally, I'm like you guys.
I have a lot of stuff going onthrough my body.
They're like we know, we know,we know I'm like, okay, so so
what do you think about midlife?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh, you know, it's really really fun and it's a
change.
And I feel like you know it'sreally really fun and it's a
change and I feel like you knowit's.
It's a weird space for mebecause, as a like fitness and
nutritional, you know,professional, I've been working
out, I've been eating healthyfoods, I've been tracking macros
, I've been coaching 1000s ofpeople, all these things and all
(09:03):
of a sudden I'm doing all thethings I have my own coach and
it's like wait, why are things alittle funky in?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
this season.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Right, and so it's been.
It's been kind of a.
It's been kind of a fun eventseason, if you want to call it,
but it definitely brings uschallenges, I would say.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Can you talk about?
You know, recently, your ownsort of personal journey with
the sort of perimenopausemenopause, I think.
Um, I think what you have tosay about it will be really
interesting, because a lot ofwhat you talk about, sort of on
your Instagram is you know,you've got, you've got the 30
year olds, you've got the 40year olds and 50 year olds,
right?
So when we're trying to changesomething with our body, what we
(09:41):
did in our 30 year olds is notgoing to work and why.
And the 50 year olds are doingdifferent things.
So can you talk a little bit,cause I know you recently had a
personal journey with this andwhat it?
It makes you like a morerelatable, better coach, right,
because you're going through thesame things, so you from have
from personal experience.
So can you talk about what thatwas like for you recently?
Yeah, so for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
So you know, I was an athlete growing up, played
softball in college, I mean likealways, was super active, did
all the things you know lifted.
I've been lifting my whole lifeand tracking macros for a long
time and it was like, you know,all these things work and and
you get all these results reallyeasily.
And you know, after a baby it'slike you can just drop your
calories and it falls off.
And then all of a sudden, likeyou know, in my early forties
(10:26):
I'm going to be 48.
In my early forties it was like, huh, this is weird.
I just feel kind of lowerenergy.
I just don't feel kind of likemyself.
And looking back now, right, I'mlike, oh well, of course you
were starting perimenopause, butlike the conversation, at least
in my world, was not there.
The conversation is usuallylike, oh, just eat your protein,
(10:50):
eat your fiber, strength train,you'll be fine, you can build
muscle, you can keep getting allthese results.
And I was like, yeah, but thatjust feels like it's just not
really firing for me right now.
And it's really interestingbecause as we start to go
through perimenopause, right,hormones start to go all over
the place and they're likefluctuating greatly, even within
(11:11):
the month.
A lot of times our energy levelstarts to come down right, like
our movement starts to comedown just because we're just so
tired and like we gotfluctuations going on At the
same time.
Hunger often starts to go upRight.
So all of a sudden it's likethat balance of what was working
before is now off, and so westart to see that we start to
(11:34):
put on a little bit of weight orwe start to score extra body
fat, when you're not reallynecessarily doing anything
differently except movements.
Changing your hunger ischanging your energy, just the
hormone shift, right.
And so we're kind of, withoutpaying attention, you can get on
this runaway train all of asudden and then within five
(11:55):
years, you're like, well shoot,I didn't even realize that
because my energy level camedown a little bit, hunger just
kind of increased.
You might get yourself into likeeven a 200 calorie imbalance
and you start gaining two poundsa month where you don't really
notice it at first, and then,all of a sudden, within that
year, you're up 10 to 20 poundsand you're like what the heck
happened?
I haven't done anythingdifferent, right?
(12:16):
And so that was me, you know,yeah, paying attention and
realizing that we're on thisrunaway train in this season
doesn't mean you can't makeprogress, doesn't mean you can't
do the right things, but itmight be that, oh, we got to
focus on some different you know, some different foundations and
habits here, and so, you know,for me, looking back, I was like
, okay, I wish I would havestarted paying more attention
(12:39):
hormonally about five years ago.
And you know, if we know thatmenopause can average starts at
52 or so and it canperimenopause can be 10 years
before that, and of course,every you know somebody will
start menopause way earlier, waylater, and it can last 10 years
after you lose your period.
That's 20 years of your life,right, jeez?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Mickey, that, yay.
I don't know whether to cry orbe relieved knowing that
information.
I know.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
But when I first learned that, I was like, well,
why are we not paying attentionto, like, one of the most
significant periods of your lifeand what's going on?
And sometimes what I see withmyself and with my clients, who
is, like you get stuck in this,like, well, I was, you know this
XYZ size athletic movementwhatever 10 years ago.
(13:32):
Well, that doesn't necessarilyapply, because everything's
changing, especially if you'vehad babies, like your body's
just gonna look different, justeverything's moving around,
right.
So I started, you know, reallypaying attention.
I hired my own coach over ayear ago and I mean it's really
great to have unbiased eyes onyou, because even if you are a
coach, right, like, you knowwhat to do, you know all the
(13:53):
things you think you're tracking, you think you're doing, but
then all of a sudden, when youhave someone else, look at you
and go, okay, these are ourholes, this is what we're going
to focus on, and um, and it'svery, very eye-opening and
helpful.
And so for me, it's like I havespent the last year focusing on
hitting maintenance calories,which that can be a really scary
(14:14):
conversation for somebody like,well, I don't want to maintain
where I'm at, like I have allthis progress to make?
Like, how do I, why would Iwant to spend my time in
maintenance?
Because if our movements down,if our hungers up, if all the
hormones are going crazy to gointo a deficit, you're just
adding so much more stress onyour body.
You're just adding this wholenew layer of complexity that
(14:37):
your body might not be ready forat that time.
It's trying to regulate itselfand now you're just like
slashing calories.
It's like you're really goingto stall out progress.
Not only that, it becomes anextremely sad and frustrating
period when you're all you careabout is shrink, shrink, shrink,
when your body's going throughall of this stuff.
So it's not not saying that allhope is gone, that you can't
(14:59):
lose weight, that you can't dothe things, but it's like having
the right mindset around what'sthe appropriate time and what's
the appropriate way to do it.
So you know, for me, I spentabout, you know, seven months or
so doing maintenance, doing avery intentional surplus, but
that's a whole otherconversation.
And then I went into a deficitand I spent five weeks slashed
(15:23):
calories down.
I dropped them by like five or600 calories and for me the
scale did not move 0.1 ounce,not 0.1.
And you know, my coach is likewhat in the world is happening
here?
She goes, you know, aside fromyou doing all the work, you
being super dialed in, like theonly thing that's happening here
(15:44):
is hormones.
And so you know, the thing withhormone testing and checking
and I'm speaking from a personalexperience, right, I'm not a
homeowner expert, like I'm not adoctor I'm just telling you
kind of what I've experienced,and even subjectively, you know,
looking at clients that Iworked with over time and like
what that looks like as a coach.
I've seen data sheets andsheets of information.
(16:07):
But you know, for me I was likeI had to get some blood work
done.
I had to do the thing and whatI realized is because I was kind
of avoiding it, I was like Idon't want to know, you know.
You know, and blood work cancome back where you looks pretty
normal.
But when I my first stuff cameback, you know, testosterone was
like right and they sayanything under 16 is like
terrible, you know.
(16:28):
And so now that I, for me I waslike, well, no wonder I'm
operating on like notestosterone, had no energy, all
the work I felt like I wasdoing in the gym, I felt like I
wasn't really building muscle,like I should have been right
for the amount of food and theamount of energy I was putting
in there.
Just felt like I just wasn'tsleeping.
Great, you know, hair loss, allthe things right.
(16:51):
And so you know, I worked onadding some testosterone and
again it's.
It takes time for your body toregulate from those things added
for myself, added an estradiolpatch, things.
Like all of a sudden it's likesix months later, it's not a
week after you get the cream orwhatever you're using.
It takes time.
Now I'm like okay, now I'mstarting to feel more like
myself.
(17:11):
Went back to maintenancecalories, added 600 calories,
weight stayed exactly the same,like why would I eat less?
Feel terrible about myself, bestressed that the progress is
not happening like I want.
Instead, I'm like all right,this is what we're going to do.
We're going to focus on feelingfantastic, getting those
hormones balanced out.
And now here it is.
(17:31):
What may?
I might try another deficit inJanuary and I'm okay with that.
Right, that's a total mindsetshift.
Big mindset shift.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Yeah, it's like the long game, Like we talk about
certain things that areimmediate results.
But perimenopause is a longgame and you know, I do feel
like we're starting to talkabout it more.
So hopefully, like yourdaughter's generation, will be
much more well-equipped equippeddealing with it.
And you know, our generationnow too, like with our podcasts
(18:04):
and us talking to people likeyou, I think is just going to
change so much.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, it seems like you know a lot of the messaging
on social media right now islike you can make perfect
progress.
You can be in a deficit andfeel fantastic.
Well, there's a lot of peoplethat for some women it just
doesn't work like that.
Like it just you've got to getthose hormones balanced.
You know, if you force yourselfinto a deficit, if you, if we
(18:30):
force the weight off, youabsolutely are going to gain it
back.
It's not sustainable, right.
So to do it where you'remaintaining muscle mass, where
you're taking care of thosehormones, where you're making
sure your metabolism is firingfor the long run.
Right, because we all want tobe those super active, fabulous
old ladies in a hot pink, thosegrandmas, right Like that's our
goal.
(18:51):
Those grandmas Right.
This is the mindset you've gotto have, and I think one of the
biggest things for me too islike making sure that I'm in a
like-minded community.
That I'm surrounding myselfwith people that are being
number one, realistic, numbertwo, you know, embracing that
(19:11):
growth mindset, even with muscle, even with maintaining
foundations and habits, andbeing really positive, because
it can get overwhelming when allwe see on social media is a
handful of super fabulous peoplethat look like they crush
everything with no problem.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
With these instant results.
Right, and so I think I didn'trealize at this age it is a
journey, right and it's I wish Iagree with you.
Everything, whether you'retalking about mindset, it's, and
it's I wish I agree with you.
I wish everything, whetheryou're talking about mindset,
it's, it's with your mind, yourbody, your soul, like everything
right now, our kids, like allthis stuff that we're dealing
with, like, give yourself alittle bit grace.
I wish you know I had knownabout this in my four, in my
(19:50):
early forties.
Right, cause I'm 46 and almostlike, did a, did a blood test of
of where was my baseline.
Right, because now, when I hada situation where I was like I
think I called you Mickey, I waslike a crazy person.
April of last year, like,literally, was like yelling at
my husband about something solittle and my kids were staring
at me.
I'm looking at myself from thetop and like who is this person?
(20:14):
Right, that was like my moment.
I've talked about it in thepodcast.
It was very embarrassing.
It took a lot for me to talk,but I wish I had known.
Like this isn't normal.
Right, because I think ourparents' generation.
I asked my mom about menopause.
She's like, oh, it's fine.
I'm like, no, I don't think itwas fine because no one talked
about it.
But I love how you're changingthis landscape for women to know
(20:36):
, guess what?
I am in perimenopause but I canfeel good, right, it may take
six months to a year, so warnyour family, but you will get
there.
And in knowing when somethinghappens and you don't feel good,
a lot of times I was like, well, I'm just overly emotional, but
you shouldn't not feel good.
(20:57):
Right, really emotional, butyou shouldn't not feel good,
right?
I think, well, that's whatwomen hear a lot You're just
emotional, You're fine, I mean I, I know I went to a doctor and
he was like you're fine, it'sjust, you know, part of the
aging process, You're too young.
I mean, come to find out I hadhypothyroidism, hashimoto's, I
had all these things going on.
And, like he, my blood work wasnormal, whatever test he did,
(21:23):
it was normal.
And I went to someone else andshe's like, oh, you have
Hashimoto's.
Let's, let's start doing x, yand z and check back in a couple
months.
So but yeah, that default,you're fine, you're just being
emotional, just, you's just, youknow hormones.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I mean, my own doctor said you know, women in
perimenopause can have likesomething like 60 different um
symptoms 60.
Wow.
So if we have like two or threeright, she's like that's
actually.
You know, that's actuallypretty.
Some people have 10 or 12.
Right, and so wherever you areon that um, in that scope of
(21:58):
perimenopause, it's like no,this is, this is just the season
, you're not crazy, you're not.
There's nothing wrong with you.
Right, like how can we get youto feel better?
And so for some people, that isbringing an HRT.
Some people don't want to dothat.
That's completely fine too.
There's a lot of natural thingsyou can do.
But baseline, I tell, is we gotto change the way you eat and
we got to make sure that you'reeating enough and that you're
(22:21):
feeling energized.
And our goal is to get biofeedback to where you're like I
feel energized, I'm sleepingbetter, my workouts are good, I
can go for a walk, right.
If you are in a space where, allof a sudden, you know a couple
years ago you could, you could,you know you'd have dinner and
you'd clean up the dishes and dothe do the counter and all the
(22:41):
things.
Well, now, all of a sudden, thenI noticed this for myself All
of a sudden I was like therewere dishes still on the counter
the next morning.
I just didn't have the energyto like put them away.
Wow yeah, and it was like thatwas.
That was one of those thingswhere maybe your steps aren't
necessarily decreasing.
But if that daily little bit ofmovement just wiping off the
counter, getting the dishes doneat night, you know, souping up
the floor all of a sudden thatstuff just kind of starts to you
(23:02):
don't have the oomph.
You walk through your messygarage and you're like it's fine
.
You know, before you would havebeen like I got to clean this.
That's a sign, right, thatthere's something energy wise
that's not firing on allcylinders.
And I wish I would have knownthat, because I was like maybe
I'm just tired, but no, it'slike no I, there's something
(23:22):
imbalanced that I need to getlike in line first.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
What do you see?
A lot of the women Cause I knowyou do group coaching, you do
one-on-one coaching Is there atrend that you see with women
coming to you with a similarquestions and challenges,
whether you're 30, 40, 50, thatdoesn't, I'm just saying like
your overall clients.
What are some of the trendsthat you're seeing right now
where women are having, likeoverall, just challenges, I
(23:49):
guess?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I'm just curious.
So I would.
Yeah, that's a great question.
So I think the first thing thatI noticed and maybe more so,
like last year, you know and itcould be sometimes the people
that I'm speaking to, who myaudience is right that I have on
social media a lot of it waslike oh, I want to.
You know, I want a fat lossphase, I want a deficit, I want
to lose weight, right, and nowthat I've even switched my own
(24:13):
story and I'm sharing, like whatI'm going through and it's like
you know what, that's all good,yeah, Some, you know people
need to lose weight, yes, butwhat if we switch that and said,
hey, let's get you to a placeof eating enough food for a
(24:34):
period of time first, so, andbuild all those habits and let's
get you strong and let's getyou energized, and then we'll
talk a deficit down the road.
So now the people that I getcoming in are like I want to
feel better, I don't feel likemyself, I am willing to eat more
food and work at gettingstronger first, and that is a
(24:54):
very, very powerful mindsetshift.
So, even if we do have weightto lose, it's like no, I know I
want to do that.
But I also understand why it'simportant to embrace this season
for what it is and stop thatrunaway train.
Because if we don't like getthe data and get the information
that kind of slows that traindown, we're looking at a hot
(25:16):
mess in five more years.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So it's looking at you know, you said in the
beginning like I want to makeprogress right.
It's that mindset shift of whatdoes progress actually look
like.
I know for myself, it's liketrying to get seven hours of
sleep right.
I mean that sounds like sosilly, but I'm a better person
when I get seven hours of sleepright, it all falls around it.
So, focusing on those otherbiofeedback markers right, that
(25:41):
aren't necessarily weight loss,but it's stress, right, there's
sleep.
Aren't there six of them thatyou talk about?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Sleep, um energy, like especially in the afternoon
, um hunger, right Um yourworkouts, right Um your workouts
, your um.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Of course I'm having stress, stress, stress, yep, yep
.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
So, and I think one thing too is like um, a lot of
times we we start to major inthe minors in this season where
we get so hyper-focused on Ineed to fast for X number of
hours, I need to eat low carb, Ineed to keep my calories or my
macros to a specific number.
Um, you know, I need to get allthis testing done.
I need to make sure my guthealth is good.
All of those things are greatin themselves.
I need to have a CGM on my bodyat all times.
(26:31):
I need to have these DEXA scans.
People start to get so boggeddown in these like little things
that these tools and thesetracking habits that can be good
, but they quickly become whereyou major in those minors
instead of like taking a stepback and going okay.
So the way I coach is flexibletracking right.
So we focus on protein, wefocus on fiber and we focus on a
(26:53):
calorie range that is healthyand sustainable for you to hit
seven days a week.
A calorie range that is healthyand sustainable for you to hit
seven days a week.
We focus on hitting daily steps10, eight to 10,000 steps every
single day, no matter what, andsometimes you know when people
start, they start tracking.
They're like, well, shoot, I'monly like at 5,000.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
So interesting yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
And go to six and doesn't mean you have to go for
an hour long walk.
Start, start by doing you know,a lot of times I have in
between calls, right, I'll have10 minutes, so I'll go walk four
minutes down my driveway, fourminutes back and get back on a
call.
So those little habits likethat, they add up really, really
quickly.
So, um, we want to get like anice broad view of what our
(27:32):
specific health um, health andwellness plan um is, because
everyone's different, Like yousaid, alex, like there's a
season, there's seasons whereyou're all you're focusing on is
on your sleep, because you knowthat your business is growing
and taking off and it's like howdo I, how do I take care of
those things that I need, youknow, that are going to help
make me a more productive andbetter mom, right?
(27:55):
So maybe it's sleep, maybe it'sjust, you know, eating enough
food overall, eating enoughprotein.
Just focus on tracking yourprotein.
You know you don't have to.
Every macro doesn't have to bedialed in to five grams.
Like, just hit your protein,eat enough food, drink some
water.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I think that's a, that's a huge like, miss
debunker, or myth sorry myththat people start eating less,
right?
I have a lot of friends thatare I'm like you need to eat way
more, or they're eating some ofthe wrong, like they're older,
a salad, right, and like there'sjust like.
I'm like order double proteinand they're like, wow, that's a
great idea.
So I think it's it's just likelike changing this landscape on
(28:34):
what you should be doing and notwhat you shouldn't.
Right, because there are somany things during this age and
this point in our lives that wecan do right.
Those little wins are what keepyou going right.
I'm like I have an aura ring.
I'm like, yes, I got sevenhours of sleep.
This is amazing.
Or I drank water, right, Ithink water is hydration.
It's like a huge thing, right.
(28:59):
Well, I do love my Stanley, butyou know, just drinking those
little habits drinking a cup ofwater before you have your
coffee that was like a hugething for me.
These little shifts that youtalk about and really, really
paying attention to your body,cause I didn't do that in my
thirties.
I was like I'm good, like thisis awesome.
Good, like this is awesome,until I literally turned 46, 11
months ago and I was like whatis going on?
(29:28):
So I think I wish I had alsoknown earlier to listen to your
body, because we're go, go, goall the time, as busy moms that
taking that moment, even fiveminutes a day, to check in with
yourself on all those types ofthings that you're talking about
.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Well, you know we're also, we're so good at handling
stress in our thirties, right,Like you got toddlers you got
and and generally like you're,you just can handle your stress
and then all of a sudden thatstuff starts to build up and
then perimenopause.
We just don't handle stresslike we did before, right, and
we've got different parts of ourlife Sometimes we're dealing
(30:03):
with, you know, like for myself,I've got grown girls, but I've
also got a little one plusailing parents.
So now I've got those thingsgoing on where in your thirties,
generally like your life is,you know you're generally
parents, are pretty healthy,you're not the caretaker
necessarily for someone else too, but as you, you know, as you
get older, like all that stressand stuff and the way you can
handle it shifts significantly.
Like all that stress and stuffand the way you can handle it
shifts significantly.
So you know it's it's soimportant to for me that I get
(30:30):
that message out, that there'sseasons and we can't be focused
on shrinking ourselves and beingthe smallest version of
ourselves our entire life.
Like there's seasons where yougot to have that growth mindset.
You've got to have that spacewhere you're like I'm okay, yeah
, I'm sitting 10 or however manypounds heavier, but I'm feeling
really good.
I'm learning what it means toput myself first for the first
time.
I'm learning what it feels liketo, you know, feed myself
(30:54):
enough nutrients in the day andhave water, and to maybe start
pulling back on alcohol, evenright.
So in our 30s I mean, we can goout and party all night and
keep rolling the next day.
All of a sudden, in your 40s,you have one glass of wine and
it's like I can't wake up in themorning.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
That should be the like first sign in perimenopause
.
I think we should write achecklist.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Number one.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
You have one glass of wine and you're hungover the
next day, like that is a year'sworth of stuff For all of our
listeners that are listening tothis.
If you feel that that's theshift.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
It's good and it's bad.
It's good and it's bad, yeah,yeah.
If you have one glass of wineand you feel terrible the next
day, if there's dishes on yourcounter, if you want to kill
everyone in your house.
Thanks, you're crazy, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
If people are looking at you with a side eye, you
know that's amazing.
Mickey, you need to do a funnyreel like that.
That would be hilarious.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Right, I do like the funny reel.
You do like funny rails?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
I like that?
What if so?
What if we have our listenershere, our ladies, that are
thinking gosh, you know, I am,I'm 45, you know, and if I I'm
feeling some of the things thatyou guys are saying, like I'm
really listening to what you'resaying, what do you think is,
just if you were going to giveadvice, mickey, on what is the
(32:19):
first thing that a woman I knowthere's lots of different things
should focus on right at thispoint in our lives.
If maybe you have low energy,you can't drink as much, you
know you're not feeling asstrong, like your workouts
aren't as good, right, becausethat shift from cardio to
strength training is like awhole nother podcast, but that's
an important part of it, right,we've got these people I used
(32:41):
to do the Peloton and OrangeTheory and sort of all this
stuff and sort of shifted moreto strength training, which is
important, and I think that wordis getting out.
But if you have someone that'sfeeling like some of these
symptoms, like you said, what doyou think is the first thing
they should do?
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Okay.
So for me because I'm anutrition coach and this is
where I dive in I'm going to saythe absolute first thing we
need to do is really becompletely honest and track all
your food.
And so what happens so manytimes is we give ourselves these
limits and Monday morning we'rejust going to like restrict
Monday through Thursday and thenall of a sudden, like you kind
(33:19):
of like start to lose that whiteknuckle hold on your nutrition
and so maybe we don't trackdinner on Thursday night or
Friday we track a couple meals.
Or you know, maybe we're likewe restrict during the week so
that we can have fun on theweekends.
But what happens is what westart to see is that puts most
of my girls that come in intothis accidental maintenance,
(33:39):
accidental surplus scenario ofnutrition, right, where, um, the
majority of the time that juststores extra body fat.
It doesn't really do anythinggood for you, right?
So we start to track and I tellpeople, if you're going to have
14 margaritas on Sunday night,just track them all.
Or Wednesday, whatever.
I always said Sunday becauseyesterday was Cinco de Mayo.
(34:04):
But you know, just track them,because then we're going to see
what you're actually consumingand then we might start to go
okay, well, you know your weightstaying pretty flat like, but
you're actually consuming, youknow, 2000 calories average a
day.
So, instead of putting yourselfat 1400 Monday through Thursday
, just start eating 2000 everyday and let's see what that
(34:24):
feels like.
And then all of a sudden theyget to this place where like,
wow, I can actually do this,this, see what that feels like.
And then all of a sudden theyget to this place where like,
wow, I can actually do this.
This feels really good.
So we do that for a period oftime, right.
So we start eating enough food,but consistently.
We focus, like I said, flexibletrack.
We just get around that calorierange that you need to be at.
Hit enough protein, hit enoughfiber.
Carbs and fats can fall wherethey may.
They really can, right?
(34:44):
So focus on your overallnutrition for several weeks.
See how you start to feel.
Drink enough water, get outsidein the sunshine, start adding
in some steps those people thatthen start to do that.
That makes a huge differencefor the majority of people.
Once we start doing that right,then we can start diving into
(35:04):
some of the deeper things.
So then we start to go okay,now we're going to focus a
little bit more detailed onmaybe some of the deeper things.
So then we start to go okay,now we're going to focus a
little bit more detailed onmaybe some of those macros, or
maybe your specific workouts, orwhat is your strength training
workout look like?
How can we challenge that alittle bit more?
So then we spend time and nowwe're really focused on those
strength training workouts.
So then we we work on that andthen after a while some people
(35:25):
get really, really dialed inwith things and they're like you
know what this feels off,because now all of these things
have balanced out and for many,many people, those simple habits
will fix many of the hormonal,sex hormone kind of symptoms
that they're having Not everyonesometimes.
Then, after you get thosefoundations set, now we can go
(35:48):
okay, maybe you should get someblood work done to see where
your baseline is.
Maybe now you should maybe do aDutch test or saliva test or
whatever that looks like for youspecifically, right, right,
maybe those types of things.
So a lot of times we skip allof this work first, because
that's slow and boring andrequires, you know, consistency
(36:10):
and dedication.
Right, I'd rather just go gettested and see if I can get a
cream.
No, because even when you dothat, when we add you know, for
me it was like adding thattestosterone cream it pulls
water in.
Yeah, the scale went up, didn'tchange anything, it wasn't I
gained a bunch of fat, it's justthere was a little extra water
weight, right, so so, and I'munderstanding how that all works
(36:30):
together, and so I alwaysrecommend, like the first thing
you need to do is like reallyfocus on taking good care of
yourself with your nutrition andyour workouts, and not doing it
from a place of self hatred,panic or fear, because majority
of women start to go like Igotta, like I gotta lose weight
Cause I'm just, I'm not, I'm notloved where I'm at, and that's
(36:51):
not true, right?
Speaker 1 (36:53):
And I think that's that is a huge mindset shift.
I remember when it was like Iwas so, I was in that cycle of
so so, so good.
And then you're like eating allthis stuff on the weekend or
drinking, and when I had like Ithink it was like pizza for the
first time in a while, like on aWednesday night, I was like, oh
my gosh, this is like thecoolest thing ever.
And my kids were like, what areyou doing?
Is this like a cheat day?
(37:14):
And I'm like, no, this is notso giving yourself like you
can't, just, you can't just eatall this stuff on the weekend,
Like it is seven days.
It is the consistency, Right,and I I think that's a huge
mindset shift for women, how wegrew up with our moms and our
generation.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
So, girls, you can have peace on a Wednesday.
Women, yeah, yeah, women also.
We don't understand that whenyou eat enough food seven days a
week, it changes everything Allof a sudden.
You don't.
You just have this food freedomthat you probably have never
experienced before.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Yeah, it's an amazing place to be.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Restricted mindset.
So you're in this likeshrinking mindset where all of a
sudden you're like how about ifI let go of some of that just
for a season?
I'm not saying go YOLO, you know, go crazy.
Cause let me tell you that hasactually happened to a couple of
my clients where they're likewhat do you mean these are?
Let me tell you that hasactually happened to a couple of
my clients.
They're like what do you mean?
I coach from minimums.
I'm like hit 130 grams ofprotein minimum and aim for
(38:13):
1,900 calories minimum.
They're like minimum I can goover.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
It's like, well, you can, don't go crazy, we want to
do it.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
There's prescription here on how we want to do this.
I'm not saying go YOLO, but youalso.
Once you start to shift thatmindset and really pay attention
, it's um, it's very, very, it'sfreeing.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
A lot of people will say tracking food or tracking
your macros whatever works foryou is so, is so hard and it's
going to not let me eat what youwant.
It's actually freedom, becauseonce you see what you're eating,
you can eat more of the goodstuff and you really make those
intentional choices of whatmakes you feel good.
Right, Like my husband.
I mean, he's a guy but he can'teat fried food anymore, Right,
(38:54):
so he knows that about himself,so it doesn't make him feel good
.
So I'm like, so why would heeat it?
I'm like I could never give itmy French fries, but you know
it's it's again.
It's that part of the nutritionof listening to your mind and
what feels good for you and nothaving that restriction, because
no food is off limits, no foodis bad.
Like, all food is good food,right, I mean with a few
exceptions, but, but so okay.
(39:15):
So if someone's listening,start with your nutrition, look
at what you're doing.
Um, and being consistentdoesn't mean you have to eat
rice and, you know, chickenevery day.
Cold flour no thank you, butwhere can people and where can
people find you, Mickey, Ifthey're like I want to talk to
you more, learn more.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Yeah for sure.
So Instagram you can find me onInstagram at sort of fit Mick
it's my name, sort of fit Mick,and I have a whole little thing
in there.
You can actually schedule afree 20-minute consult.
If you're thinking aboutone-on-one coaching, or even I
do group cohorts also, which isreally cool because I work for a
(39:56):
company called Elevated PursuitNutrition, epn, and our goal is
that as you go throughnutrition coaching with us or
cohort coaching with us, thatyou're never going to need
another nutrition coach.
When you graduate, like, youwill know so much about yourself
, you will have learned how toimplement um true periodization
for your year and you're goingto have the tools that you need
(40:19):
to take yourself to that nextlevel.
But it starts with ummaintenance calories, so eating
enough food.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
It is a numbers person, like she said, and she I
have done both her individualcoaching and group coaching.
And I like the group coachingbecause if you are looking for a
community, like she's saying,of like-minded individuals, I
mean these people you know youshare pictures of food, right.
If you're into that, you don'thave to.
You can share your win, right.
There's a lot of different waysthat you can participate in
these cohorts if, if that's yourjam and that's going to fill
(40:50):
you up.
But also, mickey doesone-on-one and I just love
talking to her.
I was like I don't think I cantrack macros, but I might keep
these meetings so I can justtalk to her.
She has such a wealth ofknowledge and really keeps you
grounded in terms of, like whoyou are and where you want to go
.
Right, and realizing thatjourney is just as important
because the end game is going tobe different every single time.
(41:12):
So that journey is going tomake you who you are.
And I like how you talk aboutseasons, because we're coming to
the summer, right, there'sgoing to be more food, more
parties, more you know cocktailsif you drink cocktails, but so
maybe right now isn't the timefor you to be in a deficit.
Maybe it's like you know what.
I just want to get my hormonesstraightened out and I just want
to hit maintenance and enjoy mysummer right, not going yolo
(41:35):
feel good and feel good put onthat bathing suit, feel good, go
to the beach with your kids, goto the pool with your husband,
like do the exercise feel really, really good, and you know, but
Mickey helps you through thatsort of every season, um, and
she's just so kind and justhelps you, helps you along the
(41:55):
way, in every aspect.
So reach out to her.
For sure I love her.
So, nicole, what time is it?
It's my favorite time.
It is unsolicited advice time,and so okay, so what?
(42:16):
You, you, we've given a lot ofadvice, right?
Maybe Mickey doesn't have to dothis, nicole, because she gave
like so much advice already shedid.
Maybe she can give likeunsolicited advice about raising
three girls.
Yeah, raising three girls inperimenopause and puberty and
all of that.
Yes, give us.
Give us your little trick, giveus your trick.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Okay.
So here is one piece of advicethat I tell my girlfriend.
So I am in this wine club, okay, so there's five couples in our
wine club and we are we are alldifferent phases of life and
there's, you know, one of thegirls is a grandma, right, and
you know she's gorgeous andfabulous.
Wouldn't guess that she's a,you know, grandma, but she has
grandbabies.
And then our other one friendjust had a newborn infant baby.
(42:56):
So we've got the full gamut ofnewborn to grandma going on in
our wine club.
So we have a lot of fun inthere.
But you know, and then some ofus have daughters and sons at
all different ages, and so Ithink the biggest piece of
advice I like to give is, nowthat I have come through, you
know, getting two daughters outof the house.
They're functioning adults,they are fabulous, right, like I
(43:19):
, we always my husband, I joke,we're like.
Those two girls are so amazingin spite of their parenting,
amazing in spite of theirparenting.
We failed them in a lot of ways.
But you know, looking back, andwhen you're in the weeds of
like middle school, high school,especially with girls, because
I don't have sons, I don't know,but it's sometimes it feels
(43:42):
overwhelming and you're likethey hate me, I don't like them,
this is never going to end Likewhat's going to happen to us.
Are we going to be friends whenthey're older?
And it's really frustrating andso.
But coming out of it, adult kidsare a whole nother level of
spectacular.
They are so much fun and youknow, of course, you know we all
(44:03):
we've had to say our sorriesand move on and all the things.
But seeing that and it justreally helps me in the moment,
now with the 11 year old, whenI'm going through these things,
I'm like okay, this is, it'sgoing to be.
Okay, it's really hard rightnow, but you come into it a
little bit more grace and kindof patience, because you're like
hey, there, these kids arehaving really big feelings, just
like us in perimenopause.
(44:24):
We don't know why we fly offthe handle.
Same kind of thing Right.
So now it's like okay, now I'mkind of like you have a bit of
um, grace and um, you knowperspective, I think in that
season of their life too.
So, yeah, I love that.
It's going to be okay, you'regoing to survive and it's all
going to work out.
It just may feel really, reallyhard in that moment.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
I like the part that you said that they're not going
to hate you, right?
Because Nicole and I have boysand it's like I've learned like
I can't even talk to my middleson in the morning, like I can't
even look at him, I can't evenacknowledge him, like anything,
and I was like, so I like thatthat just be there for them,
meet them where they're at Right, cause every kid has different
needs and and I remember notliking my mom at this age, so,
(45:07):
and now I'm like very close withher, obviously, thanks, mom
Love you.
I think my advice would beactually just follow Mickey,
right, even if you're notinterested in the coaching.
She has a lot of good things tolearn, right, because you may
be in the beginning of yourjourney and like, ooh, I'm not
sure about some of the thingsthat they all were talking about
(45:28):
today, but, um, there's acouple of things.
So, be open to learning aboutyour journey, and I think your
sort of Instagram page is reallyhelpful in that and normalizing
the things when you feel good,when you don't feel good, right,
and I think I think that'sreally important to do that.
Um, so, yeah, that's what Iwould say Keep learning, keep
learning about yourself.
It's a journey.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
I love it.
I love it Right.
I've I've been in this, I'vebeen in this industry, in this
space for, like you know, 25plus years.
So I've seen it all.
I've been through all the, allthe things.
We've been through all the youknow fen, fen.
Now we're going through Ozempic, I cycles of all the things.
So you know, just like I saidwith the kids, like you'll get
through it, you're going to getthrough whatever season you're
(46:10):
in, and I've seen a lot.
I've seen a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Oh, nicole, share my own personal experience.
What would you say, Nicole?
I would say whether you haveboys or girls, because I do talk
to my boys about what's goingon with my body Um, I don't give
them details, but they do knowwords like perimenopause and
menopause.
So I do think it's important tohave those conversations with
with your, with your, with yourchildren and your spouse.
(46:41):
I mean, you know, we'relearning right now as 40
something year old women, likewe have to.
I think we just have to teachour younger generation and, like
my kids, sometimes when I'mflying off the handle, they're
like are you on your period, mom?
Like you know, it's just likeno, and that'll get you more mad
(47:03):
.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
You're not allowed to ask me that Like what are you
doing?
Like what mad?
Speaker 1 (47:07):
when I say something like that You're not allowed to
ask me that what are you doingwhat?
But at least they're aware ofmy mood shift.
So I'm hoping that it wouldhelp their future partner that
they can know that it's notpersonal.
Maybe it's just hormones orit's just a moment in time.
This will pass.
Yeah, as Mickey said, socomfortable it may not be
(47:31):
comfortable.
I think we need a husbandsupport group, though.
Mickey, you need to have abranch of your business, because
I will talk to this with Alextill I'm blue in the face, right
, but he still doesn't get it.
You guys like I think I'm goingto have him listen to this
podcast, because we know ourhusbands don't always listen to
our podcast.
I am going to earmark this,this episode, and be like listen
(47:53):
.
Maybe you need a one-on-onewith Mickey.
Like about me.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
You need a one-on-one with Mickey's husband, exactly.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
We need a husband support group.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
Oh my gosh Well thank you, mickey, so much, this was
awesome.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
And it was so nice.
Thank you for taking the timefor us and talking about all
these fun things.
So we will talk to you soon.
Thank you, and that's a wrapfor today's episode of Don't
Call Me Midlife.
We hope you had as much fun aswe did.
Absolutely, your support meansthe world to us.
If you're just waiting in thecarpool line, don't forget to
the world to us.
If you're just waiting in thecarpool line, don't forget to
(48:30):
follow the show.
And if you're feeling extraspicy today, leave us a rating
and review Before we part ways.
We've got a special invitationfor you.
Join our newsletter to stay inthe loop with all things midlife
, magic, bonus content and more.
Head on over to the show notesfor how to sign up.
We can't wait to keep theconversation going.
And, of course, remember, inthe whirlwind of life and
(48:50):
motherhood, don't forget to fillup your own cup first.
You're extraordinary and yourjourney is worth every moment.
Until next time, cheers.
Welcome to the Don't Call Me Midlife podcast.
I'm Nicole and I'm Alex.
We're your coffee-addicted,wine-loving, amazon-obsessed mom
squad.
Think of us as your new besties, but with a podcast.
And, just like you, we'renavigating the Google-defined
chaos of midlife while wranglinga pack of boys.
But here's the twist we're morethan just moms and wives.
We're on a mission to reclaimour identities beyond motherhood
(00:24):
, and we're bringing you alongfor the wild ride.
Now, we don't pretend to haveall the answers to life's
mysteries, but we're so good atlearning and laughing our way
through them.
So whether you're sipping fromyour trusty Stanley, indulging
in an oat milk latte fromStarbucks or raising a glass of
Whispering Angel, get ready tohang with us Together.
We'll keep it real, have somelaughs and remind you that this
(00:44):
crazy journey called life is oneadventure worth sharing.
Okay, ladies, you are not goingto want to miss this episode.
Our friend Mickey is coming on.
She is a health and wellnesscoach.
She is a PN1 nutrition coach.
She's a personal trainer, a momof three boys.
She lives in California.
She's a personal trainer, a momof three boys.
(01:05):
She lives in California.
She's an awesome person.
Wait, don't forget about herdegree in kinesiology.
Yes, that degree there's more,there's more.
So, if you are in perimenopause,menopause or don't even know
what we're talking about, thisepisode is for you.
You will learn lots of tips andtricks, how to listen to your
(01:25):
body, and just knowing that weare all in this community
together is going to becomforting and that we're
bringing to light all theinformation and you can feel
your best, no matter what age.
Right, nicole?
Absolutely.
The more you know, ladies,let's dive in.
The more you know.
All right, you know, ladies,let's dive in.
(01:50):
The more you know.
All right, hi, happy Thursday.
We have Mickey Stillman here,and I can't even believe that
she found the time to meet withus.
She is one of these people thatI just adore, so I am just so
excited to jump in.
She's going to talk all thingshealth and wellness.
She is a personal trainer, sheis a wellness coach and just
(02:10):
like an overall fun, cool person.
So we're so excited you're here, mickey.
Thanks for being here.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yay, thanks for having me.
I'm super excited.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yay, okay, nicole, first things first.
What's in your cup, girl?
I have a lot of caffeine and Ithought I was going to be
healthier this morning.
So, if my brother's listening,because he gave me some healthy
bone broth to drink but I justdidn't get a chance.
(02:37):
I'm drinking lots of coffeebecause I had a big travel day
yesterday and woke up superearly.
But that's, that's what's in mycup.
That's what's in my cup.
How about you, alex?
Well, to, to probably yoursurprise and maybe the
listener's surprise, I do haveno caffeine.
Um, I normally am supercaffeinated, but today I am
(02:57):
drinking I don't know if youguys drink Spindrift this flavor
, nojito, is like my favorite.
It's like a non-alcoholicmojito, nojito or whatever you
call it.
I guess, so I'm just drinking aseltzer water.
Today I've had some coffee andso I'm good, I'm well-rested, so
I don't need afternoon coffee.
Yay, mickey, what's in your cup?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Okay, I got two cups, you know, because I'm always
carrying all the cups.
I got figurative cups, I gotliteral cups, all the things.
I start my day with lots ofcoffee because I need all the
caffeine a girl can get.
I usually put some proteinpowder in my coffee by like the
second or third cup to kind ofget myself just a little more
(03:43):
leveled out.
And then I go to water withelement and creatine.
So I got all the things.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
So you taught me about the protein in the water.
Do you use a little frother forit?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Protein in my coffee?
Yes, I do, and I will tell you.
I got this really awesomefrother from Ikea for $1.50 and
it like lived its best lifeuntil my husband decided he
wanted to use it in his hot teaand honey and bound it up and
didn't clean it, and I had tothrow it away.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That's so annoying.
That's so annoying.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I don't get a new mini frother for mother's day.
It's game on.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Oh yeah, those frothers, I love those.
I.
I when, uh, you taught me Icould travel with it and I do
that now, and it's such a goodway to just get that extra like
20 grams of protein in there.
You gotta be careful with thatfrother, cause if I'm too
aggressive with the frother,everything falls all over the
place.
I don't know if that happens toyou guys, maybe it's just me.
Okay, so a virgin froth?
(04:40):
I can't even talk virginfrother over here.
I don't use one, do you guys?
Well, I just, I don't know.
I don't know what you don'tknow what you don't know.
So I don't know what I'mmissing.
But do you put in a little bitof powder and froth it up?
Or like what's your?
You know what's the?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
steps.
I just dump protein powder inmy coffee and then just
literally just stick my frotherin there and froth it.
I did learn the trick, though,that there's got.
You know you've got to haveroom, otherwise you're covered
in protein powder in the withthe frother, and that's never
good, that's what's happened tome?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
That's happened to me for sure, but it's like a hot
chocolate, I feel like you wouldlike it, nicole.
Oh, I for sure, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yeah, I definitely use the chocolate and stick it
in there.
It's like a mocha or a hotchocolate.
Yeah, it's so good.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Chocolate element tea .
Speaker 2 (05:31):
I use chocolate true nutrition, uh hydro beef isolate
, so it's straight protein.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Ah, okay, I know Alex uses the chocolate element tea.
So in my coffee it's good andyou coffee it's good In your
coffee.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah, okay, I do.
Yeah, watermelon Element in mywater.
I can't.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Sorry, elementi, I can't.
Okay, nicole, I can't drinkElementi.
I think she's crazy.
I've sent her different flavorsand she can't.
I mean, I love Elementi.
I can put it in, like my.
A drink, like a margarita, it'sso good.
Is it too salty?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
no, I only do like a third or a half a packet.
Oh, I don't dump a whole one,it's too salty for me.
Yeah, just do it.
It was a whole packet in 40ounce.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I just can't, that's a lot, that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Okay, I only listen to Alex it's your fault, alex.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Well, I refresh my water during the day.
I I mean, I do think it's.
It could be a little too salty.
Maybe it's like baby steps,nicole, like just a little
quarter of a packet.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
You know she's a hard .
No, guys, she's a hard, no.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
That's okay.
That's okay.
That's okay.
Okay, we love your drink.
Every time we have a guest on,everyone has a different drink.
So Nicole and I love learningabout like different people's
drinks.
So what do you think aboutmidlife Mickey?
I mean she has three like growndaughters who are beautiful
people Two grown, Two grown Okay.
You have three daughters andyou, if you're watching this
(06:58):
video, you would not even knowthat Mickey was like over 40.
I swear you look so good.
Maybe it's California Cause youlive in like such a fun state.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I do love where I live.
I'm pretty lucky.
But yes, I have three girls,two, two grown daughters, one
that's married and lives out ofstate, so I don't get to see her
very often.
She's 23.
And then I have a 21-year-olddaughter that's getting ready to
go to nursing school and thenwe have our 11-year-old little
fireball.
So who still lives at home?
I forgot you had a little.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
That's so fun.
She's great yeah.
So, she's like prepubescent inyour perimenopausal.
That's what's that like?
Oh, it's great.
That's what's that like.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Oh, it's great, oh yeah, it's a lot of fun.
So, you know, I feel like it'sbetter now that you know I'm
starting to get things kind oflike under control,
perimenopause wise.
But yeah, like the mood swings,the rage, the you know, the low
energy, that was fun for awhile, for sure.
Who?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
can do it best, right ?
You or your daughter Wait?
that's true, nicole because wetalk a lot about like
perimenopause, menopause, likeour second puberty, but we have
boys, right.
So it's like there's differentthings that we've got going on
with our boys in puberty asopposed to I never thought about
this, you guys.
Girls, wow, oh my God.
Now I'm glad I don't have adaughter.
(08:19):
Yeah, we're both going throughpuberty.
My poor husband, oh my God.
Yes, we need a support groupfor these husbands, cause,
literally, I'm like you guys.
I have a lot of stuff going onthrough my body.
They're like we know, we know,we know I'm like, okay, so so
what do you think about midlife?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh, you know, it's really really fun and it's a
change.
And I feel like you know it'sreally really fun and it's a
change and I feel like you knowit's.
It's a weird space for mebecause, as a like fitness and
nutritional, you know,professional, I've been working
out, I've been eating healthyfoods, I've been tracking macros
, I've been coaching 1000s ofpeople, all these things and all
(09:03):
of a sudden I'm doing all thethings I have my own coach and
it's like wait, why are things alittle funky in?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
this season.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Right, and so it's been.
It's been kind of a.
It's been kind of a fun eventseason, if you want to call it,
but it definitely brings uschallenges, I would say.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Can you talk about?
You know, recently, your ownsort of personal journey with
the sort of perimenopausemenopause, I think.
Um, I think what you have tosay about it will be really
interesting, because a lot ofwhat you talk about, sort of on
your Instagram is you know,you've got, you've got the 30
year olds, you've got the 40year olds and 50 year olds,
right?
So when we're trying to changesomething with our body, what we
(09:41):
did in our 30 year olds is notgoing to work and why.
And the 50 year olds are doingdifferent things.
So can you talk a little bit,cause I know you recently had a
personal journey with this andwhat it?
It makes you like a morerelatable, better coach, right,
because you're going through thesame things, so you from have
from personal experience.
So can you talk about what thatwas like for you recently?
Yeah, so for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
So you know, I was an athlete growing up, played
softball in college, I mean likealways, was super active, did
all the things you know lifted.
I've been lifting my whole lifeand tracking macros for a long
time and it was like, you know,all these things work and and
you get all these results reallyeasily.
And you know, after a baby it'slike you can just drop your
calories and it falls off.
And then all of a sudden, likeyou know, in my early forties
(10:26):
I'm going to be 48.
In my early forties it was like, huh, this is weird.
I just feel kind of lowerenergy.
I just don't feel kind of likemyself.
And looking back now, right, I'mlike, oh well, of course you
were starting perimenopause, butlike the conversation, at least
in my world, was not there.
The conversation is usuallylike, oh, just eat your protein,
(10:50):
eat your fiber, strength train,you'll be fine, you can build
muscle, you can keep getting allthese results.
And I was like, yeah, but thatjust feels like it's just not
really firing for me right now.
And it's really interestingbecause as we start to go
through perimenopause, right,hormones start to go all over
the place and they're likefluctuating greatly, even within
(11:11):
the month.
A lot of times our energy levelstarts to come down right, like
our movement starts to comedown just because we're just so
tired and like we gotfluctuations going on At the
same time.
Hunger often starts to go upRight.
So all of a sudden it's likethat balance of what was working
before is now off, and so westart to see that we start to
(11:34):
put on a little bit of weight orwe start to score extra body
fat, when you're not reallynecessarily doing anything
differently except movements.
Changing your hunger ischanging your energy, just the
hormone shift, right.
And so we're kind of, withoutpaying attention, you can get on
this runaway train all of asudden and then within five
(11:55):
years, you're like, well shoot,I didn't even realize that
because my energy level camedown a little bit, hunger just
kind of increased.
You might get yourself into likeeven a 200 calorie imbalance
and you start gaining two poundsa month where you don't really
notice it at first, and then,all of a sudden, within that
year, you're up 10 to 20 poundsand you're like what the heck
happened?
I haven't done anythingdifferent, right?
(12:16):
And so that was me, you know,yeah, paying attention and
realizing that we're on thisrunaway train in this season
doesn't mean you can't makeprogress, doesn't mean you can't
do the right things, but itmight be that, oh, we got to
focus on some different you know, some different foundations and
habits here, and so, you know,for me, looking back, I was like
, okay, I wish I would havestarted paying more attention
(12:39):
hormonally about five years ago.
And you know, if we know thatmenopause can average starts at
52 or so and it canperimenopause can be 10 years
before that, and of course,every you know somebody will
start menopause way earlier, waylater, and it can last 10 years
after you lose your period.
That's 20 years of your life,right, jeez?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Mickey, that, yay.
I don't know whether to cry orbe relieved knowing that
information.
I know.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
But when I first learned that, I was like, well,
why are we not paying attentionto, like, one of the most
significant periods of your lifeand what's going on?
And sometimes what I see withmyself and with my clients, who
is, like you get stuck in this,like, well, I was, you know this
XYZ size athletic movementwhatever 10 years ago.
(13:32):
Well, that doesn't necessarilyapply, because everything's
changing, especially if you'vehad babies, like your body's
just gonna look different, justeverything's moving around,
right.
So I started, you know, reallypaying attention.
I hired my own coach over ayear ago and I mean it's really
great to have unbiased eyes onyou, because even if you are a
coach, right, like, you knowwhat to do, you know all the
(13:53):
things you think you're tracking, you think you're doing, but
then all of a sudden, when youhave someone else, look at you
and go, okay, these are ourholes, this is what we're going
to focus on, and um, and it'svery, very eye-opening and
helpful.
And so for me, it's like I havespent the last year focusing on
hitting maintenance calories,which that can be a really scary
(14:14):
conversation for somebody like,well, I don't want to maintain
where I'm at, like I have allthis progress to make?
Like, how do I, why would Iwant to spend my time in
maintenance?
Because if our movements down,if our hungers up, if all the
hormones are going crazy to gointo a deficit, you're just
adding so much more stress onyour body.
You're just adding this wholenew layer of complexity that
(14:37):
your body might not be ready forat that time.
It's trying to regulate itselfand now you're just like
slashing calories.
It's like you're really goingto stall out progress.
Not only that, it becomes anextremely sad and frustrating
period when you're all you careabout is shrink, shrink, shrink,
when your body's going throughall of this stuff.
So it's not not saying that allhope is gone, that you can't
(14:59):
lose weight, that you can't dothe things, but it's like having
the right mindset around what'sthe appropriate time and what's
the appropriate way to do it.
So you know, for me, I spentabout, you know, seven months or
so doing maintenance, doing avery intentional surplus, but
that's a whole otherconversation.
And then I went into a deficitand I spent five weeks slashed
(15:23):
calories down.
I dropped them by like five or600 calories and for me the
scale did not move 0.1 ounce,not 0.1.
And you know, my coach is likewhat in the world is happening
here?
She goes, you know, aside fromyou doing all the work, you
being super dialed in, like theonly thing that's happening here
(15:44):
is hormones.
And so you know, the thing withhormone testing and checking
and I'm speaking from a personalexperience, right, I'm not a
homeowner expert, like I'm not adoctor I'm just telling you
kind of what I've experienced,and even subjectively, you know,
looking at clients that Iworked with over time and like
what that looks like as a coach.
I've seen data sheets andsheets of information.
(16:07):
But you know, for me I was likeI had to get some blood work
done.
I had to do the thing and whatI realized is because I was kind
of avoiding it, I was like Idon't want to know, you know.
You know, and blood work cancome back where you looks pretty
normal.
But when I my first stuff cameback, you know, testosterone was
like right and they sayanything under 16 is like
terrible, you know.
(16:28):
And so now that I, for me I waslike, well, no wonder I'm
operating on like notestosterone, had no energy, all
the work I felt like I wasdoing in the gym, I felt like I
wasn't really building muscle,like I should have been right
for the amount of food and theamount of energy I was putting
in there.
Just felt like I just wasn'tsleeping.
Great, you know, hair loss, allthe things right.
(16:51):
And so you know, I worked onadding some testosterone and
again it's.
It takes time for your body toregulate from those things added
for myself, added an estradiolpatch, things.
Like all of a sudden it's likesix months later, it's not a
week after you get the cream orwhatever you're using.
It takes time.
Now I'm like okay, now I'mstarting to feel more like
myself.
(17:11):
Went back to maintenancecalories, added 600 calories,
weight stayed exactly the same,like why would I eat less?
Feel terrible about myself, bestressed that the progress is
not happening like I want.
Instead, I'm like all right,this is what we're going to do.
We're going to focus on feelingfantastic, getting those
hormones balanced out.
And now here it is.
(17:31):
What may?
I might try another deficit inJanuary and I'm okay with that.
Right, that's a total mindsetshift.
Big mindset shift.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Yeah, it's like the long game, Like we talk about
certain things that areimmediate results.
But perimenopause is a longgame and you know, I do feel
like we're starting to talkabout it more.
So hopefully, like yourdaughter's generation, will be
much more well-equipped equippeddealing with it.
And you know, our generationnow too, like with our podcasts
(18:04):
and us talking to people likeyou, I think is just going to
change so much.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, it seems like you know a lot of the messaging
on social media right now islike you can make perfect
progress.
You can be in a deficit andfeel fantastic.
Well, there's a lot of peoplethat for some women it just
doesn't work like that.
Like it just you've got to getthose hormones balanced.
You know, if you force yourselfinto a deficit, if you, if we
(18:30):
force the weight off, youabsolutely are going to gain it
back.
It's not sustainable, right.
So to do it where you'remaintaining muscle mass, where
you're taking care of thosehormones, where you're making
sure your metabolism is firingfor the long run.
Right, because we all want tobe those super active, fabulous
old ladies in a hot pink, thosegrandmas, right Like that's our
goal.
(18:51):
Those grandmas Right.
This is the mindset you've gotto have, and I think one of the
biggest things for me too islike making sure that I'm in a
like-minded community.
That I'm surrounding myselfwith people that are being
number one, realistic, numbertwo, you know, embracing that
(19:11):
growth mindset, even with muscle, even with maintaining
foundations and habits, andbeing really positive, because
it can get overwhelming when allwe see on social media is a
handful of super fabulous peoplethat look like they crush
everything with no problem.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
With these instant results.
Right, and so I think I didn'trealize at this age it is a
journey, right and it's I wish Iagree with you.
Everything, whether you'retalking about mindset, it's, and
it's I wish I agree with you.
I wish everything, whetheryou're talking about mindset,
it's, it's with your mind, yourbody, your soul, like everything
right now, our kids, like allthis stuff that we're dealing
with, like, give yourself alittle bit grace.
I wish you know I had knownabout this in my four, in my
(19:50):
early forties.
Right, cause I'm 46 and almostlike, did a, did a blood test of
of where was my baseline.
Right, because now, when I hada situation where I was like I
think I called you Mickey, I waslike a crazy person.
April of last year, like,literally, was like yelling at
my husband about something solittle and my kids were staring
at me.
I'm looking at myself from thetop and like who is this person?
(20:14):
Right, that was like my moment.
I've talked about it in thepodcast.
It was very embarrassing.
It took a lot for me to talk,but I wish I had known.
Like this isn't normal.
Right, because I think ourparents' generation.
I asked my mom about menopause.
She's like, oh, it's fine.
I'm like, no, I don't think itwas fine because no one talked
about it.
But I love how you're changingthis landscape for women to know
(20:36):
, guess what?
I am in perimenopause but I canfeel good, right, it may take
six months to a year, so warnyour family, but you will get
there.
And in knowing when somethinghappens and you don't feel good,
a lot of times I was like, well, I'm just overly emotional, but
you shouldn't not feel good.
(20:57):
Right, really emotional, butyou shouldn't not feel good,
right?
I think, well, that's whatwomen hear a lot You're just
emotional, You're fine, I mean I, I know I went to a doctor and
he was like you're fine, it'sjust, you know, part of the
aging process, You're too young.
I mean, come to find out I hadhypothyroidism, hashimoto's, I
had all these things going on.
And, like he, my blood work wasnormal, whatever test he did,
(21:23):
it was normal.
And I went to someone else andshe's like, oh, you have
Hashimoto's.
Let's, let's start doing x, yand z and check back in a couple
months.
So but yeah, that default,you're fine, you're just being
emotional, just, you's just, youknow hormones.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I mean, my own doctor said you know, women in
perimenopause can have likesomething like 60 different um
symptoms 60.
Wow.
So if we have like two or threeright, she's like that's
actually.
You know, that's actuallypretty.
Some people have 10 or 12.
Right, and so wherever you areon that um, in that scope of
(21:58):
perimenopause, it's like no,this is, this is just the season
, you're not crazy, you're not.
There's nothing wrong with you.
Right, like how can we get youto feel better?
And so for some people, that isbringing an HRT.
Some people don't want to dothat.
That's completely fine too.
There's a lot of natural thingsyou can do.
But baseline, I tell, is we gotto change the way you eat and
we got to make sure that you'reeating enough and that you're
(22:21):
feeling energized.
And our goal is to get biofeedback to where you're like I
feel energized, I'm sleepingbetter, my workouts are good, I
can go for a walk, right.
If you are in a space where, allof a sudden, you know a couple
years ago you could, you could,you know you'd have dinner and
you'd clean up the dishes and dothe do the counter and all the
(22:41):
things.
Well, now, all of a sudden, thenI noticed this for myself All
of a sudden I was like therewere dishes still on the counter
the next morning.
I just didn't have the energyto like put them away.
Wow yeah, and it was like thatwas.
That was one of those thingswhere maybe your steps aren't
necessarily decreasing.
But if that daily little bit ofmovement just wiping off the
counter, getting the dishes doneat night, you know, souping up
the floor all of a sudden thatstuff just kind of starts to you
(23:02):
don't have the oomph.
You walk through your messygarage and you're like it's fine
.
You know, before you would havebeen like I got to clean this.
That's a sign, right, thatthere's something energy wise
that's not firing on allcylinders.
And I wish I would have knownthat, because I was like maybe
I'm just tired, but no, it'slike no I, there's something
(23:22):
imbalanced that I need to getlike in line first.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
What do you see?
A lot of the women Cause I knowyou do group coaching, you do
one-on-one coaching Is there atrend that you see with women
coming to you with a similarquestions and challenges,
whether you're 30, 40, 50, thatdoesn't, I'm just saying like
your overall clients.
What are some of the trendsthat you're seeing right now
where women are having, likeoverall, just challenges, I
(23:49):
guess?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I'm just curious.
So I would.
Yeah, that's a great question.
So I think the first thing thatI noticed and maybe more so,
like last year, you know and itcould be sometimes the people
that I'm speaking to, who myaudience is right that I have on
social media a lot of it waslike oh, I want to.
You know, I want a fat lossphase, I want a deficit, I want
to lose weight, right, and nowthat I've even switched my own
(24:13):
story and I'm sharing, like whatI'm going through and it's like
you know what, that's all good,yeah, Some, you know people
need to lose weight, yes, butwhat if we switch that and said,
hey, let's get you to a placeof eating enough food for a
(24:34):
period of time first, so, andbuild all those habits and let's
get you strong and let's getyou energized, and then we'll
talk a deficit down the road.
So now the people that I getcoming in are like I want to
feel better, I don't feel likemyself, I am willing to eat more
food and work at gettingstronger first, and that is a
(24:54):
very, very powerful mindsetshift.
So, even if we do have weightto lose, it's like no, I know I
want to do that.
But I also understand why it'simportant to embrace this season
for what it is and stop thatrunaway train.
Because if we don't like getthe data and get the information
that kind of slows that traindown, we're looking at a hot
(25:16):
mess in five more years.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So it's looking at you know, you said in the
beginning like I want to makeprogress right.
It's that mindset shift of whatdoes progress actually look
like.
I know for myself, it's liketrying to get seven hours of
sleep right.
I mean that sounds like sosilly, but I'm a better person
when I get seven hours of sleepright, it all falls around it.
So, focusing on those otherbiofeedback markers right, that
(25:41):
aren't necessarily weight loss,but it's stress, right, there's
sleep.
Aren't there six of them thatyou talk about?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Sleep, um energy, like especially in the afternoon
, um hunger, right Um yourworkouts, right Um your workouts
, your um.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Of course I'm having stress, stress, stress, yep, yep
.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
So, and I think one thing too is like um, a lot of
times we we start to major inthe minors in this season where
we get so hyper-focused on Ineed to fast for X number of
hours, I need to eat low carb, Ineed to keep my calories or my
macros to a specific number.
Um, you know, I need to get allthis testing done.
I need to make sure my guthealth is good.
All of those things are greatin themselves.
I need to have a CGM on my bodyat all times.
(26:31):
I need to have these DEXA scans.
People start to get so boggeddown in these like little things
that these tools and thesetracking habits that can be good
, but they quickly become whereyou major in those minors
instead of like taking a stepback and going okay.
So the way I coach is flexibletracking right.
So we focus on protein, wefocus on fiber and we focus on a
(26:53):
calorie range that is healthyand sustainable for you to hit
seven days a week.
A calorie range that is healthyand sustainable for you to hit
seven days a week.
We focus on hitting daily steps10, eight to 10,000 steps every
single day, no matter what, andsometimes you know when people
start, they start tracking.
They're like, well, shoot, I'monly like at 5,000.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
So interesting yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
And go to six and doesn't mean you have to go for
an hour long walk.
Start, start by doing you know,a lot of times I have in
between calls, right, I'll have10 minutes, so I'll go walk four
minutes down my driveway, fourminutes back and get back on a
call.
So those little habits likethat, they add up really, really
quickly.
So, um, we want to get like anice broad view of what our
(27:32):
specific health um, health andwellness plan um is, because
everyone's different, Like yousaid, alex, like there's a
season, there's seasons whereyou're all you're focusing on is
on your sleep, because you knowthat your business is growing
and taking off and it's like howdo I, how do I take care of
those things that I need, youknow, that are going to help
make me a more productive andbetter mom, right?
(27:55):
So maybe it's sleep, maybe it'sjust, you know, eating enough
food overall, eating enoughprotein.
Just focus on tracking yourprotein.
You know you don't have to.
Every macro doesn't have to bedialed in to five grams.
Like, just hit your protein,eat enough food, drink some
water.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I think that's a, that's a huge like, miss
debunker, or myth sorry myththat people start eating less,
right?
I have a lot of friends thatare I'm like you need to eat way
more, or they're eating some ofthe wrong, like they're older,
a salad, right, and like there'sjust like.
I'm like order double proteinand they're like, wow, that's a
great idea.
So I think it's it's just likelike changing this landscape on
(28:34):
what you should be doing and notwhat you shouldn't.
Right, because there are somany things during this age and
this point in our lives that wecan do right.
Those little wins are what keepyou going right.
I'm like I have an aura ring.
I'm like, yes, I got sevenhours of sleep.
This is amazing.
Or I drank water, right, Ithink water is hydration.
It's like a huge thing, right.
(28:59):
Well, I do love my Stanley, butyou know, just drinking those
little habits drinking a cup ofwater before you have your
coffee that was like a hugething for me.
These little shifts that youtalk about and really, really
paying attention to your body,cause I didn't do that in my
thirties.
I was like I'm good, like thisis awesome.
Good, like this is awesome,until I literally turned 46, 11
months ago and I was like whatis going on?
(29:28):
So I think I wish I had alsoknown earlier to listen to your
body, because we're go, go, goall the time, as busy moms that
taking that moment, even fiveminutes a day, to check in with
yourself on all those types ofthings that you're talking about
.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Well, you know we're also, we're so good at handling
stress in our thirties, right,Like you got toddlers you got
and and generally like you're,you just can handle your stress
and then all of a sudden thatstuff starts to build up and
then perimenopause.
We just don't handle stresslike we did before, right, and
we've got different parts of ourlife Sometimes we're dealing
(30:03):
with, you know, like for myself,I've got grown girls, but I've
also got a little one plusailing parents.
So now I've got those thingsgoing on where in your thirties,
generally like your life is,you know you're generally
parents, are pretty healthy,you're not the caretaker
necessarily for someone else too, but as you, you know, as you
get older, like all that stressand stuff and the way you can
handle it shifts significantly.
Like all that stress and stuffand the way you can handle it
shifts significantly.
So you know it's it's soimportant to for me that I get
(30:30):
that message out, that there'sseasons and we can't be focused
on shrinking ourselves and beingthe smallest version of
ourselves our entire life.
Like there's seasons where yougot to have that growth mindset.
You've got to have that spacewhere you're like I'm okay, yeah
, I'm sitting 10 or however manypounds heavier, but I'm feeling
really good.
I'm learning what it means toput myself first for the first
time.
I'm learning what it feels liketo, you know, feed myself
(30:54):
enough nutrients in the day andhave water, and to maybe start
pulling back on alcohol, evenright.
So in our 30s I mean, we can goout and party all night and
keep rolling the next day.
All of a sudden, in your 40s,you have one glass of wine and
it's like I can't wake up in themorning.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
That should be the like first sign in perimenopause
.
I think we should write achecklist.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Number one.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
You have one glass of wine and you're hungover the
next day, like that is a year'sworth of stuff For all of our
listeners that are listening tothis.
If you feel that that's theshift.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
It's good and it's bad.
It's good and it's bad, yeah,yeah.
If you have one glass of wineand you feel terrible the next
day, if there's dishes on yourcounter, if you want to kill
everyone in your house.
Thanks, you're crazy, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
If people are looking at you with a side eye, you
know that's amazing.
Mickey, you need to do a funnyreel like that.
That would be hilarious.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Right, I do like the funny reel.
You do like funny rails?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
I like that?
What if so?
What if we have our listenershere, our ladies, that are
thinking gosh, you know, I am,I'm 45, you know, and if I I'm
feeling some of the things thatyou guys are saying, like I'm
really listening to what you'resaying, what do you think is,
just if you were going to giveadvice, mickey, on what is the
(32:19):
first thing that a woman I knowthere's lots of different things
should focus on right at thispoint in our lives.
If maybe you have low energy,you can't drink as much, you
know you're not feeling asstrong, like your workouts
aren't as good, right, becausethat shift from cardio to
strength training is like awhole nother podcast, but that's
an important part of it, right,we've got these people I used
(32:41):
to do the Peloton and OrangeTheory and sort of all this
stuff and sort of shifted moreto strength training, which is
important, and I think that wordis getting out.
But if you have someone that'sfeeling like some of these
symptoms, like you said, what doyou think is the first thing
they should do?
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Okay.
So for me because I'm anutrition coach and this is
where I dive in I'm going to saythe absolute first thing we
need to do is really becompletely honest and track all
your food.
And so what happens so manytimes is we give ourselves these
limits and Monday morning we'rejust going to like restrict
Monday through Thursday and thenall of a sudden, like you kind
(33:19):
of like start to lose that whiteknuckle hold on your nutrition
and so maybe we don't trackdinner on Thursday night or
Friday we track a couple meals.
Or you know, maybe we're likewe restrict during the week so
that we can have fun on theweekends.
But what happens is what westart to see is that puts most
of my girls that come in intothis accidental maintenance,
(33:39):
accidental surplus scenario ofnutrition, right, where, um, the
majority of the time that juststores extra body fat.
It doesn't really do anythinggood for you, right?
So we start to track and I tellpeople, if you're going to have
14 margaritas on Sunday night,just track them all.
Or Wednesday, whatever.
I always said Sunday becauseyesterday was Cinco de Mayo.
(34:04):
But you know, just track them,because then we're going to see
what you're actually consumingand then we might start to go
okay, well, you know your weightstaying pretty flat like, but
you're actually consuming, youknow, 2000 calories average a
day.
So, instead of putting yourselfat 1400 Monday through Thursday
, just start eating 2000 everyday and let's see what that
(34:24):
feels like.
And then all of a sudden theyget to this place where like,
wow, I can actually do this,this, see what that feels like.
And then all of a sudden theyget to this place where like,
wow, I can actually do this.
This feels really good.
So we do that for a period oftime, right.
So we start eating enough food,but consistently.
We focus, like I said, flexibletrack.
We just get around that calorierange that you need to be at.
Hit enough protein, hit enoughfiber.
Carbs and fats can fall wherethey may.
They really can, right?
(34:44):
So focus on your overallnutrition for several weeks.
See how you start to feel.
Drink enough water, get outsidein the sunshine, start adding
in some steps those people thatthen start to do that.
That makes a huge differencefor the majority of people.
Once we start doing that right,then we can start diving into
(35:04):
some of the deeper things.
So then we start to go okay,now we're going to focus a
little bit more detailed onmaybe some of the deeper things.
So then we start to go okay,now we're going to focus a
little bit more detailed onmaybe some of those macros, or
maybe your specific workouts, orwhat is your strength training
workout look like?
How can we challenge that alittle bit more?
So then we spend time and nowwe're really focused on those
strength training workouts.
So then we we work on that andthen after a while some people
(35:25):
get really, really dialed inwith things and they're like you
know what this feels off,because now all of these things
have balanced out and for many,many people, those simple habits
will fix many of the hormonal,sex hormone kind of symptoms
that they're having Not everyonesometimes.
Then, after you get thosefoundations set, now we can go
(35:48):
okay, maybe you should get someblood work done to see where
your baseline is.
Maybe now you should maybe do aDutch test or saliva test or
whatever that looks like for youspecifically, right, right,
maybe those types of things.
So a lot of times we skip allof this work first, because
that's slow and boring andrequires, you know, consistency
(36:10):
and dedication.
Right, I'd rather just go gettested and see if I can get a
cream.
No, because even when you dothat, when we add you know, for
me it was like adding thattestosterone cream it pulls
water in.
Yeah, the scale went up, didn'tchange anything, it wasn't I
gained a bunch of fat, it's justthere was a little extra water
weight, right, so so, and I'munderstanding how that all works
(36:30):
together, and so I alwaysrecommend, like the first thing
you need to do is like reallyfocus on taking good care of
yourself with your nutrition andyour workouts, and not doing it
from a place of self hatred,panic or fear, because majority
of women start to go like Igotta, like I gotta lose weight
Cause I'm just, I'm not, I'm notloved where I'm at, and that's
(36:51):
not true, right?
Speaker 1 (36:53):
And I think that's that is a huge mindset shift.
I remember when it was like Iwas so, I was in that cycle of
so so, so good.
And then you're like eating allthis stuff on the weekend or
drinking, and when I had like Ithink it was like pizza for the
first time in a while, like on aWednesday night, I was like, oh
my gosh, this is like thecoolest thing ever.
And my kids were like, what areyou doing?
Is this like a cheat day?
(37:14):
And I'm like, no, this is notso giving yourself like you
can't, just, you can't just eatall this stuff on the weekend,
Like it is seven days.
It is the consistency, Right,and I I think that's a huge
mindset shift for women, how wegrew up with our moms and our
generation.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
So, girls, you can have peace on a Wednesday.
Women, yeah, yeah, women also.
We don't understand that whenyou eat enough food seven days a
week, it changes everything Allof a sudden.
You don't.
You just have this food freedomthat you probably have never
experienced before.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Yeah, it's an amazing place to be.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Restricted mindset.
So you're in this likeshrinking mindset where all of a
sudden you're like how about ifI let go of some of that just
for a season?
I'm not saying go YOLO, you know, go crazy.
Cause let me tell you that hasactually happened to a couple of
my clients where they're likewhat do you mean these are?
Let me tell you that hasactually happened to a couple of
my clients.
They're like what do you mean?
I coach from minimums.
I'm like hit 130 grams ofprotein minimum and aim for
(38:13):
1,900 calories minimum.
They're like minimum I can goover.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
It's like, well, you can, don't go crazy, we want to
do it.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
There's prescription here on how we want to do this.
I'm not saying go YOLO, but youalso.
Once you start to shift thatmindset and really pay attention
, it's um, it's very, very, it'sfreeing.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
A lot of people will say tracking food or tracking
your macros whatever works foryou is so, is so hard and it's
going to not let me eat what youwant.
It's actually freedom, becauseonce you see what you're eating,
you can eat more of the goodstuff and you really make those
intentional choices of whatmakes you feel good.
Right, Like my husband.
I mean, he's a guy but he can'teat fried food anymore, Right,
(38:54):
so he knows that about himself,so it doesn't make him feel good
.
So I'm like, so why would heeat it?
I'm like I could never give itmy French fries, but you know
it's it's again.
It's that part of the nutritionof listening to your mind and
what feels good for you and nothaving that restriction, because
no food is off limits, no foodis bad.
Like, all food is good food,right, I mean with a few
exceptions, but, but so okay.
(39:15):
So if someone's listening,start with your nutrition, look
at what you're doing.
Um, and being consistentdoesn't mean you have to eat
rice and, you know, chickenevery day.
Cold flour no thank you, butwhere can people and where can
people find you, Mickey, Ifthey're like I want to talk to
you more, learn more.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Yeah for sure.
So Instagram you can find me onInstagram at sort of fit Mick
it's my name, sort of fit Mick,and I have a whole little thing
in there.
You can actually schedule afree 20-minute consult.
If you're thinking aboutone-on-one coaching, or even I
do group cohorts also, which isreally cool because I work for a
(39:56):
company called Elevated PursuitNutrition, epn, and our goal is
that as you go throughnutrition coaching with us or
cohort coaching with us, thatyou're never going to need
another nutrition coach.
When you graduate, like, youwill know so much about yourself
, you will have learned how toimplement um true periodization
for your year and you're goingto have the tools that you need
(40:19):
to take yourself to that nextlevel.
But it starts with ummaintenance calories, so eating
enough food.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
It is a numbers person, like she said, and she I
have done both her individualcoaching and group coaching.
And I like the group coachingbecause if you are looking for a
community, like she's saying,of like-minded individuals, I
mean these people you know youshare pictures of food, right.
If you're into that, you don'thave to.
You can share your win, right.
There's a lot of different waysthat you can participate in
these cohorts if, if that's yourjam and that's going to fill
(40:50):
you up.
But also, mickey doesone-on-one and I just love
talking to her.
I was like I don't think I cantrack macros, but I might keep
these meetings so I can justtalk to her.
She has such a wealth ofknowledge and really keeps you
grounded in terms of, like whoyou are and where you want to go
.
Right, and realizing thatjourney is just as important
because the end game is going tobe different every single time.
(41:12):
So that journey is going tomake you who you are.
And I like how you talk aboutseasons, because we're coming to
the summer, right, there'sgoing to be more food, more
parties, more you know cocktailsif you drink cocktails, but so
maybe right now isn't the timefor you to be in a deficit.
Maybe it's like you know what.
I just want to get my hormonesstraightened out and I just want
to hit maintenance and enjoy mysummer right, not going yolo
(41:35):
feel good and feel good put onthat bathing suit, feel good, go
to the beach with your kids, goto the pool with your husband,
like do the exercise feel really, really good, and you know, but
Mickey helps you through thatsort of every season, um, and
she's just so kind and justhelps you, helps you along the
(41:55):
way, in every aspect.
So reach out to her.
For sure I love her.
So, nicole, what time is it?
It's my favorite time.
It is unsolicited advice time,and so okay, so what?
(42:16):
You, you, we've given a lot ofadvice, right?
Maybe Mickey doesn't have to dothis, nicole, because she gave
like so much advice already shedid.
Maybe she can give likeunsolicited advice about raising
three girls.
Yeah, raising three girls inperimenopause and puberty and
all of that.
Yes, give us.
Give us your little trick, giveus your trick.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Okay.
So here is one piece of advicethat I tell my girlfriend.
So I am in this wine club, okay, so there's five couples in our
wine club and we are we are alldifferent phases of life and
there's, you know, one of thegirls is a grandma, right, and
you know she's gorgeous andfabulous.
Wouldn't guess that she's a,you know, grandma, but she has
grandbabies.
And then our other one friendjust had a newborn infant baby.
(42:56):
So we've got the full gamut ofnewborn to grandma going on in
our wine club.
So we have a lot of fun inthere.
But you know, and then some ofus have daughters and sons at
all different ages, and so Ithink the biggest piece of
advice I like to give is, nowthat I have come through, you
know, getting two daughters outof the house.
They're functioning adults,they are fabulous, right, like I
(43:19):
, we always my husband, I joke,we're like.
Those two girls are so amazingin spite of their parenting,
amazing in spite of theirparenting.
We failed them in a lot of ways.
But you know, looking back, andwhen you're in the weeds of
like middle school, high school,especially with girls, because
I don't have sons, I don't know,but it's sometimes it feels
(43:42):
overwhelming and you're likethey hate me, I don't like them,
this is never going to end Likewhat's going to happen to us.
Are we going to be friends whenthey're older?
And it's really frustrating andso.
But coming out of it, adult kidsare a whole nother level of
spectacular.
They are so much fun and youknow, of course, you know we all
(44:03):
we've had to say our sorriesand move on and all the things.
But seeing that and it justreally helps me in the moment,
now with the 11 year old, whenI'm going through these things,
I'm like okay, this is, it'sgoing to be.
Okay, it's really hard rightnow, but you come into it a
little bit more grace and kindof patience, because you're like
hey, there, these kids arehaving really big feelings, just
like us in perimenopause.
(44:24):
We don't know why we fly offthe handle.
Same kind of thing Right.
So now it's like okay, now I'mkind of like you have a bit of
um, grace and um, you knowperspective, I think in that
season of their life too.
So, yeah, I love that.
It's going to be okay, you'regoing to survive and it's all
going to work out.
It just may feel really, reallyhard in that moment.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
I like the part that you said that they're not going
to hate you, right?
Because Nicole and I have boysand it's like I've learned like
I can't even talk to my middleson in the morning, like I can't
even look at him, I can't evenacknowledge him, like anything,
and I was like, so I like thatthat just be there for them,
meet them where they're at Right, cause every kid has different
needs and and I remember notliking my mom at this age, so,
(45:07):
and now I'm like very close withher, obviously, thanks, mom
Love you.
I think my advice would beactually just follow Mickey,
right, even if you're notinterested in the coaching.
She has a lot of good things tolearn, right, because you may
be in the beginning of yourjourney and like, ooh, I'm not
sure about some of the thingsthat they all were talking about
(45:28):
today, but, um, there's acouple of things.
So, be open to learning aboutyour journey, and I think your
sort of Instagram page is reallyhelpful in that and normalizing
the things when you feel good,when you don't feel good, right,
and I think I think that'sreally important to do that.
Um, so, yeah, that's what Iwould say Keep learning, keep
learning about yourself.
It's a journey.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
I love it.
I love it Right.
I've I've been in this, I'vebeen in this industry, in this
space for, like you know, 25plus years.
So I've seen it all.
I've been through all the, allthe things.
We've been through all the youknow fen, fen.
Now we're going through Ozempic, I cycles of all the things.
So you know, just like I saidwith the kids, like you'll get
through it, you're going to getthrough whatever season you're
(46:10):
in, and I've seen a lot.
I've seen a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Oh, nicole, share my own personal experience.
What would you say, Nicole?
I would say whether you haveboys or girls, because I do talk
to my boys about what's goingon with my body Um, I don't give
them details, but they do knowwords like perimenopause and
menopause.
So I do think it's important tohave those conversations with
with your, with your, with yourchildren and your spouse.
(46:41):
I mean, you know, we'relearning right now as 40
something year old women, likewe have to.
I think we just have to teachour younger generation and, like
my kids, sometimes when I'mflying off the handle, they're
like are you on your period, mom?
Like you know, it's just likeno, and that'll get you more mad
(47:03):
.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
You're not allowed to ask me that Like what are you
doing?
Like what mad?
Speaker 1 (47:07):
when I say something like that You're not allowed to
ask me that what are you doingwhat?
But at least they're aware ofmy mood shift.
So I'm hoping that it wouldhelp their future partner that
they can know that it's notpersonal.
Maybe it's just hormones orit's just a moment in time.
This will pass.
Yeah, as Mickey said, socomfortable it may not be
(47:31):
comfortable.
I think we need a husbandsupport group, though.
Mickey, you need to have abranch of your business, because
I will talk to this with Alextill I'm blue in the face, right
, but he still doesn't get it.
You guys like I think I'm goingto have him listen to this
podcast, because we know ourhusbands don't always listen to
our podcast.
I am going to earmark this,this episode, and be like listen
(47:53):
.
Maybe you need a one-on-onewith Mickey.
Like about me.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
You need a one-on-one with Mickey's husband, exactly.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
We need a husband support group.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
Oh my gosh Well thank you, mickey, so much, this was
awesome.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
And it was so nice.
Thank you for taking the timefor us and talking about all
these fun things.
So we will talk to you soon.
Thank you, and that's a wrapfor today's episode of Don't
Call Me Midlife.
We hope you had as much fun aswe did.
Absolutely, your support meansthe world to us.
If you're just waiting in thecarpool line, don't forget to
the world to us.
If you're just waiting in thecarpool line, don't forget to
(48:30):
follow the show.
And if you're feeling extraspicy today, leave us a rating
and review Before we part ways.
We've got a special invitationfor you.
Join our newsletter to stay inthe loop with all things midlife
, magic, bonus content and more.
Head on over to the show notesfor how to sign up.
We can't wait to keep theconversation going.
And, of course, remember, inthe whirlwind of life and
(48:50):
motherhood, don't forget to fillup your own cup first.
You're extraordinary and yourjourney is worth every moment.
Until next time, cheers.
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