November 13, 2023 • 21 mins
Ready to unlock the secrets of capturing attention like never before? This episode from Rob Taormina is your key! Whether it's using the power of scent to create positive associations or making a memorable mark with the power of silence, we've got you covered. Dive into the science behind these techniques and understand how they can help you influence decisions and form meaningful connections not just in personal life but also in the corporate world.
Now, it's not just about grabbing attention, it's about earning trust and respect too. And we show you exactly how, by leading with gratitude and taking a genuine interest in others. You'll learn about the 'Trust equals transaction' concept and how important it is for creating strong bonds. Plus, we've got some amazing on-the-ground techniques, tips, and tricks to share, the ones we've used ourselves to grab the spotlight. So tune in, and join the attention revolution!
Network with other entrepreneurs and get access to monthly free live trainings: https://bit.ly/38w3VNi
Download our free Podcast Gear Guide: http://www.LaunchMyPodcastShow.com
Follow us: https://www.facebook.com/dontfeargrit
https://www.instagram.com/dontfeargrit/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are there secrets to getting someone's attention with
the intent of being able toinfluence them to a decision?
100%, in fact, we don't have togo very far to be able to see
real life Examples of this inyour life, in my life and in the
life of people around us.
Let's get into this subject,because this one is going to
make a difference for a lot ofyou guys.
This is, don't fear, great withWabtau Arena, marketing
(00:28):
strategies and advertisingtechnologies to help you build a
better business All right.
So getting someone's attention,I mean, we've all tried
different things, and even ifyou sort of look in your own
life and you look back whetherit be you were in school or at
you're at home, or you're atwork, or it's trying to impress
(00:49):
that girl or guy, right, we'veall tried different things in
order to be able to stand outand to get this particular
person's attention.
Now, didn't work all the time,probably not, but over the
course of your life, you figuredout things that have worked
better Than others, and you tendto stick to those things that
have yielded a high rate ofsuccess.
(01:11):
So in life, as you get older,though, the ability to get
people's attention becomes areally great asset and those
that get really good at it earlyon and those that perfect it
for a long period of time.
When you look around, maybe atyour colleagues, you see that
what is in common of those thatare successful and those that
(01:32):
are struggling to yet reach thepinnacle of success are the
people that are able toinfluence the people around them
.
The people are that are able toreally grab the attention of
those.
Right.
Let's think about you work at avery specific institution,
right, and there's a coupledifferent people up for a
possible promotion.
Well, what's the one thing thatenables one person to get that
(01:54):
promotion over another?
When the candidates involve?
All are equal candidates as faras their experience, as far as
the work that they yield and theresults that they get.
Well, what's the differentiator?
They're able to get theattention of the person who's
making that, that decision, andThus they're able to sort of
climb the corporate ladder.
(02:14):
Now you yourself might bethinking and maybe this is you
right that's so unfair.
That happened to me.
That was so unfair.
Well, is it really?
Is it really unfair if you havetwo equal candidates as far as
resume is concerned, but theywere able to just get the leg up
over you because they knew thetrick to be able to get the
(02:35):
attention of that individual.
Well, that's what we're talkingabout here and hopefully the
next time now you're in thissituation, you'll be that person
who gets the promotion.
Think about also you know,you're out with your friends and
you've got, or you are, someonethat you were at school with or
at work, right, and it's thegirl, the girl that you've, that
you've really have this crushon.
(02:56):
And how do you get theattention of this individual?
And, putting aside all theother things the world says, are
the reasons that you know theguy gets the girl.
Well, there's another reasonout there, and I remember
watching a movie and in thisparticular movie you guys can
probably figure out what it isand the person analyzes the
(03:20):
situation and decides to get theattention of a girl in an
uncharacteristic way and islargely successful, even though
his friends were saying youdon't have a chance.
Well, he uses some of thesetips and tricks that we're going
to be discussing today, andit's not to deceive or
manipulate, it's simply actuallyto give yourself a better
(03:42):
chance of success by injectingsome confidence into your life
and into the situation and intothe conversation and you will be
able to get appropriateattention.
And you know what, especially intoday's sort of economy and I'm
not even just talking abouteconomics as far as a means of
measuring, you know economicsuccess necessarily, but in
(04:05):
today's economy, we aredefinitely in a sort of
attention economy.
Right, and in this attentioneconomy, is what's winning out?
Especially in the age of now?
We've got social media and somany things competing for our
attention.
How on earth now, as a business, do you compete in a very
crowded room?
Well, all of these things thatwe're going to be discussing
(04:28):
today are going to be thingsthat you can apply to your
personal life and to yourcorporate life, because they all
have this one thing in commonis trying to get the attention
of the people around us, to beable to ultimately, at some
point in time, influence them toa decision, and that decision
could be maybe to also like you.
That decision could be topurchase your product, right,
(04:53):
and so that's what we're goingto be talking today.
So first, I don't know if, bythe way, I just kicked another
mic that I have on the floor andI apologize if your ears just
rang.
I did not mean to do that.
I think I forgot to actuallyturn that microphone off because
we just had someone in thestudio and we were just
interviewing someone.
But so here's.
Let's first outline some of thethings that are commonly used as
(05:14):
techniques for getting people'sattention.
Some of the more obvious onesOne you can hit up all the
senses right, and one of them issmell.
So one thing that people do inorder to get the attention of
others is scent perfumes andcolognes and what some people
will intentionally do they willbrand themselves and associate
(05:34):
themselves with a specific smellSounds ridiculous, but it's
true and it does in fact work.
If you can associate a smellwith a very positive thing and
have that thing now associatewith you, you will now get very
positive attention as it relatesto when people have this
particular type of scent.
(05:55):
Hence cologne and perfumes, andalso perfumes and colognes.
On the manufacturers of thesecompanies, they know that scent
is a very strong memory triggerand they also know that they're
able to sort of not force, butthey are able to sort of
influence people to havingcertain feelings, emotions, also
(06:18):
thinking of certain thingsbased on what they're smelling
and the science behind all.
This is what goes into certaintypes of perfumes and colognes.
Knowing this as an individual,you put some work into it, some
due diligence, put some homeworkinto it.
You will not just I don'trecommend necessarily just
picking a cologne oh, this onesmells good to me but
(06:40):
understanding the psychologybehind scents, picking a cologne
that helps you stand out withthe people that you're going to
be around when you're wearingthat particular perfume or
cologne.
So there's always more to itthan just the thing that we're
talking about, right?
So there's always more to it,right?
So I want you guys to startthinking that way is thinking
more creatively and outside thebox and a little bit deeper than
(07:01):
just the surface level things.
And the cologne, the scent, isa great example on how to train
yourself to approach situations.
It's more than what just meetsthe eye.
There's definitely somethingbehind it, and having more
knowledge of that particularthings will arm you as being
more of an expert.
(07:21):
And the more the expert you are, the more you utilize all these
resources and assets and toolsaround you to your advantage.
Hence all the scents, right?
Certain other things that peopledo.
It's like the staring contestIn order to be able to get
someone's attention.
They will awkwardly stare insilence until this individual
feels so awkward that you infact won their attention.
(07:43):
Now, are there situations thatcall for something like that?
Yeah, it could definitely work.
One example that I can see thatperhaps this could work you
ever get the feeling like thesense that someone is looking at
you right, and so whatsometimes, people will do in a
crowded room is leverage that inorder to be able to draw the
(08:04):
person's eyes to that individual.
Now, that then requires a steptwo, because I don't recommend
you, awkwardly and very in acreepy fashion, continuing to
stare into the individual's eyes, because, now that you won
their attention, you have toactually now communicate in some
other way.
But staring in silence isdefinitely a tool that people
(08:26):
have used, and people have usedthem quite successfully.
I don't think, though, it issomething that should be used in
all situations.
It's definitely for veryspecific situations.
I myself, I've actually used it, and I can say from experience
it does in fact, work.
Even you yourself can probablybe a testament to the fact that
(08:48):
you ever feel someone looking atyou right.
You can sense it for some Idon't know it's the way God made
us right, and so it definitelyworks Another way, sort of in
line with, sort of the cologneperfume, is the way that you
dress.
You can get the attention ofsomeone or those people around
you by what you are wearing.
(09:09):
Are you gonna wear somethingthat'll help you stand out,
differentiate yourself fromeveryone else in the room, or is
it gonna be like a wears wearsWaldo thing, right, where you
look like everything andtherefore you're not gonna stand
out?
So what you are wearing, howyou look, definitely is a tip, a
technique, a strategy, a methodfor trying to get the attention
(09:30):
of those around you.
Think about when you're goingon a job interview is you want
to dress to impress?
You wanna dress in such a waywhere it's going to sort of show
this individual something aboutyou.
So you are gonna dress in acertain way.
It's gonna get their attentionand they're gonna naturally now
think something about you basedon how you are dressing.
(09:53):
Think about celebrities,celebrities, when they go down
the red carpet.
We all know them, right?
There are some celebrities thatchoose to differentiate
themselves by literally dressingin the most ridiculous costumes
on the planet, for it doesn'tmatter if it's a black tie or
fair or not.
And why are they doing this?
(10:14):
Right, they're doing thisbecause they want to get
attention.
They wanna get the media'sattention.
In this case, that's calledearned media.
Earned media in marketing worldis free publicity, and these
celebrities are probably beingcoached by someone to do
something like this and, as aresult of being ridiculous,
they're dressing in thisridiculous costume.
(10:34):
They get a lot of attention, alot of the eyeballs are in them,
a lot of the headlines featuretheir name and they get free
publicity out of it.
So that is definitely somethingthat does work, and it's not
necessarily always my thing, butmaybe it is your thing and that
is absolutely fine.
Another thing that we're gonnabe talking about here and now
we're gonna be sort of gettingin line with some of my
(10:56):
suggestions here and things thathave worked over and over again
and it's timeless, and this isthe I used the term economy
earlier.
Right, we are definitely inwhat I think should be a thank
you economy, and I think GaryVaynerchuk is someone that
really has coined.
I don't know if he coined it,but he's definitely used it a
lot and he's right in this sortof thank you economy.
(11:20):
I think leading with gratitudein order to be able to get
someone's attention is somethingthat will work for you, because
you are acknowledging someone,you're acknowledging an effort
that they've made, you'reacknowledging some type of
result that they've had and youare, or you're acknowledging
that they've done something foryou and what you're doing is
(11:43):
you're leading with gratitude,you're leading with thank you.
Now, that goes a long way withgetting that particular
individual's attention.
In a world where a lot ofpeople though, it's about me, me
, me, me, me.
If you can reverse the scripton that and make it about them,
making them the hero of thatinitial moment by thanking them,
(12:05):
it will get their attention.
Which leads me to sort of parttwo of this, and this is sort of
online, with thanking them, butreally now making the
individual the hero of everysingle moment, regardless how
about big or how small thatmoment may be is.
(12:25):
I think first, it's aboutacknowledging what the person is
doing, not just now with athank you, but simply talking to
them, learning more about them.
Your intent is what you wannabe able to influence them, to
either make a decision orinfluence them, to be able to
get their attention right.
One way that you could do thatis earn the respect of that
(12:45):
individual by giving them whatthe attention first.
Herein lies my greatest sort ofskill, I think, and probably
one of the most valuable thingsI can teach you guys, is, if you
wanna get the attention ofsomeone really important, make
it about them first, askquestions about them, and then
(13:06):
your questions should be askedand your body language should be
that where you are genuinelyinterested in only one thing and
their answer in their story,and making sure that you're
framing all your questions sothat they continue to be the
hero in that moment.
If you are able to do this well, that develop the craft of
(13:26):
having conversations centeredaround that individual by
default.
Think about this what are youdoing now?
You are gaining their attention.
Once that you gain theirattention, you hold court with
this individual.
Now their attention is on you.
Even though the story is aboutthem, the narrative is about
them, the dialogue is about them, you're still psychologically
(13:48):
creating this moment whereyou're gaining the attention of
that individual.
Now, the skill now is to beable to take this moment where
this whole thing is about them,where you are genuinely taking
interest into what they aretalking about and you are also
pumping them up andacknowledging how wonderful it
is and how great it is.
Now, what you could do here'swhere the skill is is.
(14:11):
Now you can circle yourselfinto that story and now you can
control the narrative of whereit goes and what you've done is.
But you started off by genuinelymaking the moment about them.
Now it's not about tricking theindividual to thinking the
moment is about them.
It's not about not genuinelyfeeling the moments about them.
(14:35):
You have to believe it.
So that's why, before you dothis, is it's really about
mindset is you have got tobecome an individual who
genuinely takes interest inothers first.
I know this is gonna be veryhard for a lot of people,
because there's gonna be a lotof you who say, oh, I'm already
a humble person, I'm alreadydoing this.
(14:56):
I challenge you to actuallyreally audit yourself and audit
these moments and you'll seethat you're really not 100% in
on other people genuinely.
But I want your mindset tochange, to be that of someone
who genuinely takes interest inother people's successes.
It doesn't matter how great itis, doesn't matter how small it
(15:19):
is, it doesn't matter whether ornot what they're sharing with
you impacts you, influences youor actually as any value to your
life, because you're gonna beusing this as a stepping stone
later on, because you see thevalue in the connection.
Right, you're the one who madethe determination.
I need this person's attention.
They are important to me.
(15:39):
Well, if they're important toyou, then you need to have them
feel that whatever it is thatthey are talking about is
important now to you as well.
And you've gotta change yourmind in order to be able to
convince other people that it is.
And the thing is, you're notgonna be able to lie your way
through it, so you are gonnahave to change your mindset into
genuinely wanting this, wantingto take interest in other
(16:01):
people.
You know, my wife, there's anongoing joke in my family is
that it doesn't matter where weare.
If we are at the grocery store,is I'm asking questions about
this the individual who's evenjust checking us out?
And by the time we start thecheckout and end the checkout, I
know everything?
My wife says I know everythingabout them.
Now, do I know everything aboutthem?
No, but I'm genuinely takinginterest in this other person
(16:25):
because maybe that moment Idon't need their help in a very
serious way, right, but I don'tknow how this person maybe could
impact my life later on.
And by now, early on in thisrelationship, I'm getting the
attention of the individual.
By taking interest in them intotheir story, first of all, I'm
gaining knowledge of thisindividual and, secondly, I'm
(16:47):
gaining their respect.
Trust equals transaction.
If you've been with me in thisdon't fear grit journey now for
the past several years, youheard me say that a lot Trust
equals transaction, not theother way around.
That is so true.
I'm trying to give you a greatexample of this, and that's how
it works.
Is you want people to give youtheir attention, you're gonna
(17:07):
have to get them to trust you,and you can get them to trust
you very, very quickly bytelling your mind I'm interested
in this person, whatever it isthey're doing.
I see value and I see that asimportant, and I'm going to
communicate that both in how I'mphysically responding and
audibly responding in such a waywhere they understand.
I think it's important,regardless of how big or small
(17:30):
it is, because oftentimes whatpeople do is they will see a
person and want their attentionfor them.
Because I need you to buysomething for me or I need you
to pick this up and take it overhere, right, I need you to
perform a task for me.
That's all they can see.
Is what you can do for me,right?
But what I'm suggesting investin the individual so that they
(17:53):
trust you.
There's a relationship there.
Invest into learning about them,where your intent is not
getting at first, but giving ofyour attention first, which is
the very thing that you'rerequiring of them.
You do that first.
Trust me, you're gonna havetheir attention for a whole lot
longer, even than what you need,because you're gonna get it in
that moment and the momentsthereafter, because they're
(18:16):
gonna become loyal to you,they're gonna trust you and this
way, when you do come to themwith the important ask, they're
gonna be the first ones to bevery quick, to be there for you.
So that's, I think, thegreatest secret is that I can
reveal to you guys and it mightnot be a secret at all, but it's
definitely not something thateveryone's willing to put a lot
of time and effort into, becausemost people are about me, me,
(18:37):
me, me, me, me, right.
So, but what I am suggesting inthis?
In every single moment, takeinterest in other people's lives
.
Ask them questions about them,even if it doesn't benefit you
on the front end, but also trainyour mind to genuinely be
interested in that person.
Genuinely be interested in thatperson.
(18:59):
This is something that I havepracticed myself for a very,
very long time and you know what?
It doesn't matter if it'ssomeone has an interest in a
sport that it's maybe not myfavorite sport.
I'm gonna be genuinelyinterested in what they have to
say and in their passion for it.
I'm gonna find something inthis individual's story that I'm
gonna latch onto and just be sopassionate about this.
(19:20):
You know, and I've had peopleactually share this with me when
I'm talking with them, they'relike there's no way that you are
this passion into what I'msaying and I'd be like I 100%,
in fact.
And then I ask more questionsto learn a little bit more,
because I've trained my mind tobe interested in others.
That's how I navigate life, andit doesn't matter if it's a
(19:40):
person at the grocery storechecking me out, a family member
, a client.
I will be so into whatever itis that person is into and
interested into the story, andmaking sure that they are the
centerpiece and the hero of thatmoment, because I wanna earn
their respect to the point wherenow I've got your attention
because I've earned it.
Once I earn their attentionversus stealing their attention,
(20:05):
they are loyal and they will beable to be influenced now about
what I have got to say.
It's gonna be so much easier.
This is why you see a lot ofother people who are maybe able
to climb the corporate ladder alot faster, get the girl a lot,
you know, faster than the otherperson.
Or maybe they're in sales andthey're able to just kill it
(20:26):
with sales and then rewardedwith upper management stuff
because they understand thisphilosophy, they've made these
personal connections with otherpeople and invested their time
into doing this.
Remember time, talent, treasurethese are the three big Ts in
life that we need to understand.
We need to understand thatthere's three valuable things
(20:47):
there's time there's value there.
There's talent there's valuethere.
And there's treasure there'svalue there as well.
It's not just treasure, it'snot just money.
Where there's value.
We've gotta understand three Ts.
Guys, I could talk about thissubject for such a long time,
but this was on my heart.
You know, I've really recentlybeen sort of sharing this with
other people as well.
I'm like you know, I wannashare this with all of you guys.
(21:08):
I love this community.
I'm like I wanna gift this toyou guys.
So I'm curious if you guys havehad similar situations where
you've developed a certaintechnique in order to be able to
get people's attention.
I'd love for you to share itwith me, just like I've been
sharing stuff with you guys aswell.
Find me anywhere you can find,don't fear Grette, whether it be
podcast or online social, likeyou know, instagram or YouTube.
(21:29):
Find us, subscribe, share itwith other people.
Grow the community, guys,because the tide rises for all
ships.
Remember, don't fear theprocess and don't fear Grette,
take care.
Are there secrets to getting someone's attention with
the intent of being able toinfluence them to a decision?
100%, in fact, we don't have togo very far to be able to see
real life Examples of this inyour life, in my life and in the
life of people around us.
Let's get into this subject,because this one is going to
make a difference for a lot ofyou guys.
This is, don't fear, great withWabtau Arena, marketing
(00:28):
strategies and advertisingtechnologies to help you build a
better business All right.
So getting someone's attention,I mean, we've all tried
different things, and even ifyou sort of look in your own
life and you look back whetherit be you were in school or at
you're at home, or you're atwork, or it's trying to impress
(00:49):
that girl or guy, right, we'veall tried different things in
order to be able to stand outand to get this particular
person's attention.
Now, didn't work all the time,probably not, but over the
course of your life, you figuredout things that have worked
better Than others, and you tendto stick to those things that
have yielded a high rate ofsuccess.
(01:11):
So in life, as you get older,though, the ability to get
people's attention becomes areally great asset and those
that get really good at it earlyon and those that perfect it
for a long period of time.
When you look around, maybe atyour colleagues, you see that
what is in common of those thatare successful and those that
(01:32):
are struggling to yet reach thepinnacle of success are the
people that are able toinfluence the people around them
.
The people are that are able toreally grab the attention of
those.
Right.
Let's think about you work at avery specific institution,
right, and there's a coupledifferent people up for a
possible promotion.
Well, what's the one thing thatenables one person to get that
(01:54):
promotion over another?
When the candidates involve?
All are equal candidates as faras their experience, as far as
the work that they yield and theresults that they get.
Well, what's the differentiator?
They're able to get theattention of the person who's
making that, that decision, andThus they're able to sort of
climb the corporate ladder.
(02:14):
Now you yourself might bethinking and maybe this is you
right that's so unfair.
That happened to me.
That was so unfair.
Well, is it really?
Is it really unfair if you havetwo equal candidates as far as
resume is concerned, but theywere able to just get the leg up
over you because they knew thetrick to be able to get the
(02:35):
attention of that individual.
Well, that's what we're talkingabout here and hopefully the
next time now you're in thissituation, you'll be that person
who gets the promotion.
Think about also you know,you're out with your friends and
you've got, or you are, someonethat you were at school with or
at work, right, and it's thegirl, the girl that you've, that
you've really have this crushon.
(02:56):
And how do you get theattention of this individual?
And, putting aside all theother things the world says, are
the reasons that you know theguy gets the girl.
Well, there's another reasonout there, and I remember
watching a movie and in thisparticular movie you guys can
probably figure out what it isand the person analyzes the
(03:20):
situation and decides to get theattention of a girl in an
uncharacteristic way and islargely successful, even though
his friends were saying youdon't have a chance.
Well, he uses some of thesetips and tricks that we're going
to be discussing today, andit's not to deceive or
manipulate, it's simply actuallyto give yourself a better
(03:42):
chance of success by injectingsome confidence into your life
and into the situation and intothe conversation and you will be
able to get appropriateattention.
And you know what, especially intoday's sort of economy and I'm
not even just talking abouteconomics as far as a means of
measuring, you know economicsuccess necessarily, but in
(04:05):
today's economy, we aredefinitely in a sort of
attention economy.
Right, and in this attentioneconomy, is what's winning out?
Especially in the age of now?
We've got social media and somany things competing for our
attention.
How on earth now, as a business, do you compete in a very
crowded room?
Well, all of these things thatwe're going to be discussing
(04:28):
today are going to be thingsthat you can apply to your
personal life and to yourcorporate life, because they all
have this one thing in commonis trying to get the attention
of the people around us, to beable to ultimately, at some
point in time, influence them toa decision, and that decision
could be maybe to also like you.
That decision could be topurchase your product, right,
(04:53):
and so that's what we're goingto be talking today.
So first, I don't know if, bythe way, I just kicked another
mic that I have on the floor andI apologize if your ears just
rang.
I did not mean to do that.
I think I forgot to actuallyturn that microphone off because
we just had someone in thestudio and we were just
interviewing someone.
But so here's.
Let's first outline some of thethings that are commonly used as
(05:14):
techniques for getting people'sattention.
Some of the more obvious onesOne you can hit up all the
senses right, and one of them issmell.
So one thing that people do inorder to get the attention of
others is scent perfumes andcolognes and what some people
will intentionally do they willbrand themselves and associate
(05:34):
themselves with a specific smellSounds ridiculous, but it's
true and it does in fact work.
If you can associate a smellwith a very positive thing and
have that thing now associatewith you, you will now get very
positive attention as it relatesto when people have this
particular type of scent.
(05:55):
Hence cologne and perfumes, andalso perfumes and colognes.
On the manufacturers of thesecompanies, they know that scent
is a very strong memory triggerand they also know that they're
able to sort of not force, butthey are able to sort of
influence people to havingcertain feelings, emotions, also
(06:18):
thinking of certain thingsbased on what they're smelling
and the science behind all.
This is what goes into certaintypes of perfumes and colognes.
Knowing this as an individual,you put some work into it, some
due diligence, put some homeworkinto it.
You will not just I don'trecommend necessarily just
picking a cologne oh, this onesmells good to me but
(06:40):
understanding the psychologybehind scents, picking a cologne
that helps you stand out withthe people that you're going to
be around when you're wearingthat particular perfume or
cologne.
So there's always more to itthan just the thing that we're
talking about, right?
So there's always more to it,right?
So I want you guys to startthinking that way is thinking
more creatively and outside thebox and a little bit deeper than
(07:01):
just the surface level things.
And the cologne, the scent, isa great example on how to train
yourself to approach situations.
It's more than what just meetsthe eye.
There's definitely somethingbehind it, and having more
knowledge of that particularthings will arm you as being
more of an expert.
(07:21):
And the more the expert you are, the more you utilize all these
resources and assets and toolsaround you to your advantage.
Hence all the scents, right?
Certain other things that peopledo.
It's like the staring contestIn order to be able to get
someone's attention.
They will awkwardly stare insilence until this individual
feels so awkward that you infact won their attention.
(07:43):
Now, are there situations thatcall for something like that?
Yeah, it could definitely work.
One example that I can see thatperhaps this could work you
ever get the feeling like thesense that someone is looking at
you right, and so whatsometimes, people will do in a
crowded room is leverage that inorder to be able to draw the
(08:04):
person's eyes to that individual.
Now, that then requires a steptwo, because I don't recommend
you, awkwardly and very in acreepy fashion, continuing to
stare into the individual's eyes, because, now that you won
their attention, you have toactually now communicate in some
other way.
But staring in silence isdefinitely a tool that people
(08:26):
have used, and people have usedthem quite successfully.
I don't think, though, it issomething that should be used in
all situations.
It's definitely for veryspecific situations.
I myself, I've actually used it, and I can say from experience
it does in fact, work.
Even you yourself can probablybe a testament to the fact that
(08:48):
you ever feel someone looking atyou right.
You can sense it for some Idon't know it's the way God made
us right, and so it definitelyworks Another way, sort of in
line with, sort of the cologneperfume, is the way that you
dress.
You can get the attention ofsomeone or those people around
you by what you are wearing.
(09:09):
Are you gonna wear somethingthat'll help you stand out,
differentiate yourself fromeveryone else in the room, or is
it gonna be like a wears wearsWaldo thing, right, where you
look like everything andtherefore you're not gonna stand
out?
So what you are wearing, howyou look, definitely is a tip, a
technique, a strategy, a methodfor trying to get the attention
(09:30):
of those around you.
Think about when you're goingon a job interview is you want
to dress to impress?
You wanna dress in such a waywhere it's going to sort of show
this individual something aboutyou.
So you are gonna dress in acertain way.
It's gonna get their attentionand they're gonna naturally now
think something about you basedon how you are dressing.
(09:53):
Think about celebrities,celebrities, when they go down
the red carpet.
We all know them, right?
There are some celebrities thatchoose to differentiate
themselves by literally dressingin the most ridiculous costumes
on the planet, for it doesn'tmatter if it's a black tie or
fair or not.
And why are they doing this?
(10:14):
Right, they're doing thisbecause they want to get
attention.
They wanna get the media'sattention.
In this case, that's calledearned media.
Earned media in marketing worldis free publicity, and these
celebrities are probably beingcoached by someone to do
something like this and, as aresult of being ridiculous,
they're dressing in thisridiculous costume.
(10:34):
They get a lot of attention, alot of the eyeballs are in them,
a lot of the headlines featuretheir name and they get free
publicity out of it.
So that is definitely somethingthat does work, and it's not
necessarily always my thing, butmaybe it is your thing and that
is absolutely fine.
Another thing that we're gonnabe talking about here and now
we're gonna be sort of gettingin line with some of my
(10:56):
suggestions here and things thathave worked over and over again
and it's timeless, and this isthe I used the term economy
earlier.
Right, we are definitely inwhat I think should be a thank
you economy, and I think GaryVaynerchuk is someone that
really has coined.
I don't know if he coined it,but he's definitely used it a
lot and he's right in this sortof thank you economy.
(11:20):
I think leading with gratitudein order to be able to get
someone's attention is somethingthat will work for you, because
you are acknowledging someone,you're acknowledging an effort
that they've made, you'reacknowledging some type of
result that they've had and youare, or you're acknowledging
that they've done something foryou and what you're doing is
(11:43):
you're leading with gratitude,you're leading with thank you.
Now, that goes a long way withgetting that particular
individual's attention.
In a world where a lot ofpeople though, it's about me, me
, me, me, me.
If you can reverse the scripton that and make it about them,
making them the hero of thatinitial moment by thanking them,
(12:05):
it will get their attention.
Which leads me to sort of parttwo of this, and this is sort of
online, with thanking them, butreally now making the
individual the hero of everysingle moment, regardless how
about big or how small thatmoment may be is.
(12:25):
I think first, it's aboutacknowledging what the person is
doing, not just now with athank you, but simply talking to
them, learning more about them.
Your intent is what you wannabe able to influence them, to
either make a decision orinfluence them, to be able to
get their attention right.
One way that you could do thatis earn the respect of that
(12:45):
individual by giving them whatthe attention first.
Herein lies my greatest sort ofskill, I think, and probably
one of the most valuable thingsI can teach you guys, is, if you
wanna get the attention ofsomeone really important, make
it about them first, askquestions about them, and then
(13:06):
your questions should be askedand your body language should be
that where you are genuinelyinterested in only one thing and
their answer in their story,and making sure that you're
framing all your questions sothat they continue to be the
hero in that moment.
If you are able to do this well, that develop the craft of
(13:26):
having conversations centeredaround that individual by
default.
Think about this what are youdoing now?
You are gaining their attention.
Once that you gain theirattention, you hold court with
this individual.
Now their attention is on you.
Even though the story is aboutthem, the narrative is about
them, the dialogue is about them, you're still psychologically
(13:48):
creating this moment whereyou're gaining the attention of
that individual.
Now, the skill now is to beable to take this moment where
this whole thing is about them,where you are genuinely taking
interest into what they aretalking about and you are also
pumping them up andacknowledging how wonderful it
is and how great it is.
Now, what you could do here'swhere the skill is is.
(14:11):
Now you can circle yourselfinto that story and now you can
control the narrative of whereit goes and what you've done is.
But you started off by genuinelymaking the moment about them.
Now it's not about tricking theindividual to thinking the
moment is about them.
It's not about not genuinelyfeeling the moments about them.
(14:35):
You have to believe it.
So that's why, before you dothis, is it's really about
mindset is you have got tobecome an individual who
genuinely takes interest inothers first.
I know this is gonna be veryhard for a lot of people,
because there's gonna be a lotof you who say, oh, I'm already
a humble person, I'm alreadydoing this.
(14:56):
I challenge you to actuallyreally audit yourself and audit
these moments and you'll seethat you're really not 100% in
on other people genuinely.
But I want your mindset tochange, to be that of someone
who genuinely takes interest inother people's successes.
It doesn't matter how great itis, doesn't matter how small it
(15:19):
is, it doesn't matter whether ornot what they're sharing with
you impacts you, influences youor actually as any value to your
life, because you're gonna beusing this as a stepping stone
later on, because you see thevalue in the connection.
Right, you're the one who madethe determination.
I need this person's attention.
They are important to me.
(15:39):
Well, if they're important toyou, then you need to have them
feel that whatever it is thatthey are talking about is
important now to you as well.
And you've gotta change yourmind in order to be able to
convince other people that it is.
And the thing is, you're notgonna be able to lie your way
through it, so you are gonnahave to change your mindset into
genuinely wanting this, wantingto take interest in other
(16:01):
people.
You know, my wife, there's anongoing joke in my family is
that it doesn't matter where weare.
If we are at the grocery store,is I'm asking questions about
this the individual who's evenjust checking us out?
And by the time we start thecheckout and end the checkout, I
know everything?
My wife says I know everythingabout them.
Now, do I know everything aboutthem?
No, but I'm genuinely takinginterest in this other person
(16:25):
because maybe that moment Idon't need their help in a very
serious way, right, but I don'tknow how this person maybe could
impact my life later on.
And by now, early on in thisrelationship, I'm getting the
attention of the individual.
By taking interest in them intotheir story, first of all, I'm
gaining knowledge of thisindividual and, secondly, I'm
(16:47):
gaining their respect.
Trust equals transaction.
If you've been with me in thisdon't fear grit journey now for
the past several years, youheard me say that a lot Trust
equals transaction, not theother way around.
That is so true.
I'm trying to give you a greatexample of this, and that's how
it works.
Is you want people to give youtheir attention, you're gonna
(17:07):
have to get them to trust you,and you can get them to trust
you very, very quickly bytelling your mind I'm interested
in this person, whatever it isthey're doing.
I see value and I see that asimportant, and I'm going to
communicate that both in how I'mphysically responding and
audibly responding in such a waywhere they understand.
I think it's important,regardless of how big or small
(17:30):
it is, because oftentimes whatpeople do is they will see a
person and want their attentionfor them.
Because I need you to buysomething for me or I need you
to pick this up and take it overhere, right, I need you to
perform a task for me.
That's all they can see.
Is what you can do for me,right?
But what I'm suggesting investin the individual so that they
(17:53):
trust you.
There's a relationship there.
Invest into learning about them,where your intent is not
getting at first, but giving ofyour attention first, which is
the very thing that you'rerequiring of them.
You do that first.
Trust me, you're gonna havetheir attention for a whole lot
longer, even than what you need,because you're gonna get it in
that moment and the momentsthereafter, because they're
(18:16):
gonna become loyal to you,they're gonna trust you and this
way, when you do come to themwith the important ask, they're
gonna be the first ones to bevery quick, to be there for you.
So that's, I think, thegreatest secret is that I can
reveal to you guys and it mightnot be a secret at all, but it's
definitely not something thateveryone's willing to put a lot
of time and effort into, becausemost people are about me, me,
(18:37):
me, me, me, me, right.
So, but what I am suggesting inthis?
In every single moment, takeinterest in other people's lives
.
Ask them questions about them,even if it doesn't benefit you
on the front end, but also trainyour mind to genuinely be
interested in that person.
Genuinely be interested in thatperson.
(18:59):
This is something that I havepracticed myself for a very,
very long time and you know what?
It doesn't matter if it'ssomeone has an interest in a
sport that it's maybe not myfavorite sport.
I'm gonna be genuinelyinterested in what they have to
say and in their passion for it.
I'm gonna find something inthis individual's story that I'm
gonna latch onto and just be sopassionate about this.
(19:20):
You know, and I've had peopleactually share this with me when
I'm talking with them, they'relike there's no way that you are
this passion into what I'msaying and I'd be like I 100%,
in fact.
And then I ask more questionsto learn a little bit more,
because I've trained my mind tobe interested in others.
That's how I navigate life, andit doesn't matter if it's a
(19:40):
person at the grocery storechecking me out, a family member
, a client.
I will be so into whatever itis that person is into and
interested into the story, andmaking sure that they are the
centerpiece and the hero of thatmoment, because I wanna earn
their respect to the point wherenow I've got your attention
because I've earned it.
Once I earn their attentionversus stealing their attention,
(20:05):
they are loyal and they will beable to be influenced now about
what I have got to say.
It's gonna be so much easier.
This is why you see a lot ofother people who are maybe able
to climb the corporate ladder alot faster, get the girl a lot,
you know, faster than the otherperson.
Or maybe they're in sales andthey're able to just kill it
(20:26):
with sales and then rewardedwith upper management stuff
because they understand thisphilosophy, they've made these
personal connections with otherpeople and invested their time
into doing this.
Remember time, talent, treasurethese are the three big Ts in
life that we need to understand.
We need to understand thatthere's three valuable things
(20:47):
there's time there's value there.
There's talent there's valuethere.
And there's treasure there'svalue there as well.
It's not just treasure, it'snot just money.
Where there's value.
We've gotta understand three Ts.
Guys, I could talk about thissubject for such a long time,
but this was on my heart.
You know, I've really recentlybeen sort of sharing this with
other people as well.
I'm like you know, I wannashare this with all of you guys.
(21:08):
I love this community.
I'm like I wanna gift this toyou guys.
So I'm curious if you guys havehad similar situations where
you've developed a certaintechnique in order to be able to
get people's attention.
I'd love for you to share itwith me, just like I've been
sharing stuff with you guys aswell.
Find me anywhere you can find,don't fear Grette, whether it be
podcast or online social, likeyou know, instagram or YouTube.
(21:29):
Find us, subscribe, share itwith other people.
Grow the community, guys,because the tide rises for all
ships.
Remember, don't fear theprocess and don't fear Grette,
take care.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.