Bonus Holiday Boundary-Setting Meditation: Finding Your "Yes" and Your "No"

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This 11-minute guided reflection helps food allergic/celiac individuals and food allergy parents pause, reset, and listen to their own internal “yes” and “no” signals during the busy holiday season. Using gentle, polyvagal-informed cues and somatic reflection, you’ll explore what feels nourishing versus uncomfortable and create an internal guide for identifying boundaries to honor this holiday season and all year long. This practice supports nervous system regulation, reduces stress, and helps you navigate holiday expectations with clarity, compassion, and confidence. 

Special thanks to Kyle Dine for permission to use his song The Doghouse for the podcast theme!
www.kyledine.com

Find Dr. Whitehouse:
-thefoodallergypsychologist.com
-Instagram: @thefoodallergypsychologist
-Facebook: Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, Food Allergy Anxiety Psychologist
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Episode Transcript

amanda-whitehouse--phd_1_12 (00:02):
For many food allergy parents, the
holiday season brings even moredecisions, more expectations,
and more pressure,, Thismeditation is a gentle pause.
It's not about fixing anythingor pushing through.
Instead, it will help you tuneinto your own internal signals,
your sense of yes and no in thebody, so that you can notice
what feels nourishing, whatfeels overwhelming, and make

(00:25):
decisions with more clarity andself-awareness.
You don't need to analyze orjustify anything here in this
space.
Just listen kindly to yourselfand let your nervous system
guide the way.

(00:52):
Find a comfortable position andlet your body begin to arrive in
this moment.
Take a slow breath in throughyour nose And exhale through
your mouth As your breathsettles gently offer yourself

(01:15):
permission to pause.
For these next 10 minutes, I'mallowed to step outside of the
hustle of the holiday season andlisten to myself.
Let your shoulders soften.
Let your jaw release.
And observe your breath as itfinds a natural rhythm.

(01:42):
If it's comfortable, you canclose your eyes, and if it's
not, you could soften your gaze.
Bring your attention inward withcuriosity, noticing sensations
without analyzing them, withoutinterpreting them.
Simply sensing, imagine yourawareness as a warm light inside

(02:13):
your body.
Steady, gentle.
Grounding, let this light movethrough the torso, down the
arms, into the hands, down thelegs, and into the feet as this

(02:45):
inner light settles.
You might notice small cues ofsteadiness, a softening a
dropping down, a quietness, oreven just a sense of being here.

(03:08):
Try to label it or notice itwithout letting your thoughts
get carried away about it.
This is your internal landscape.
This is where we'll explore whatfeels nourishing and what feels
safe, and what feels like toomuch or something that's not
right for you or your child.

(03:32):
Bring to mind something smallabout the holidays that feels
genuinely good to you.
A memory or a tradition.
Something simple.
It might be a quiet morningmoment.
A particular tradition, warmlights, a song, a familiar food

(03:59):
you trust, a person who feelssafe, don't force anything.
Just let one nourishing momentrise to the surface and imagine
it as vividly as you can.
Now, notice what shifts insideas you hold this gentle"yes."

(04:26):
maybe your inhale feels easier,maybe your shoulders lower.
Maybe your chest opens orsoftens.
Maybe a smile creeps onto yourface.

(04:48):
The cue might be very subtle, aslight spaciousness, a sense of
warmth, or simply a reductionof, or the absence of tension.
This is how your body says yes,not excitement.
Not perfection, just a genuinesense of alignment or openness.

(05:14):
Let your body feel this for afew breaths.
Inhale into the yes, exhale, andlet it settle.
You don't need to describe it.

(05:35):
Just let it anchor in yoursystem as a reference point.
Now bring to mind a holidayexperience, memory, or tradition
that has been heavy for you innavigating your food allergy
life.
It could be something thatdrains you, overwhelms you, or

(05:56):
feels misaligned.
You don't need to dive deep.
Something will probably come tothe surface right away.
hold it at arm's length in yourimagination.
Not inside you, but near you,like an object that you're
observing.
Notice how your body responds.

(06:19):
Do you feel a pulling away, aclosing, a sense of pressure,
bracing, tension or hesitation?
A desire to withdraw, to createspace, whatever arises is your,

(06:40):
"no."Your body's way of saying.
This is too much or this needs aboundary.
Let the breath support you here.
Inhale, gently exhale, andimagine creating just an inch
more space between you and thatsituation.

(07:08):
Feel the clarity in this,"no."not guilt, not conflict, just
information.
A wise signal from your innerlandscape.

(07:28):
Bring your awareness back toyour yes for a moment.
Bring that visualization andthat sensation back into your
mind.
You feel the openness, the ease,and the alignment as you picture
that scenario.

(07:53):
And then again, recall the, no,the heaviness, the protective
sensation, or the pulling away.
Move back and forth gently inyour mind.
Yes.
And it's physical presence inyour body and no, and its

(08:21):
physical cues.
This contrast is your compass.
Your nervous system is showingyou what nourishes you and makes
you feel safe, and what depletesyou or makes you feel unsafe.

(08:42):
You can trust these signals.
You can use them to buildboundaries that are appropriate
for you, and you can shape yourholiday season with them.
Last, let's choose one boundaryyou'd like to honor this holiday
season.

(09:03):
It could be something you'vealready decided, or something
that you've been strugglingabout how to approach it.
It might be declining aninvitation, shortening the time
you attend something.
Bringing your own food, choosingone tradition, releasing
another, or creating more spacein your schedule.

(09:31):
Let this boundary form clearlyin your mind and not through
force defensivenessjustification, but through the
gentle guidance of your internalyes and no.
Imagine yourself honoring thisboundary.

(09:52):
Feel the shift inside, thesteadiness, the relief, the
clarity, the self-Trust, thegroundedness before you
participate in that event orcommunicate that boundary if
it's something that you'restressed about.

(10:14):
Bring this to mind again andspeak or decide or attend from
that place of groundednessrather than from a place of fear
or resentment.
Let this sensation of steadinessbecome your anchor.
Bring your attention back toyour breath.

(10:35):
Now, slow.
Inhale, soft exhale.
You've listened deeply toyourself.
You've consulted the wisdom ofyour own nervous system, your
yes, your no.
Your needs carry this claritywith you into the rest of the

(10:59):
season.
You are allowed to choose whatnourishes you.
You are allowed to keep yourselfand your loved ones safe.
You are allowed to protect yourown energy.
And you are allowed to listeninward and set boundaries
without apology orjustification.

(11:19):
Take one final deep breath inand let it go.
When you're ready, gently openyour eyes and return to your
surroundings.