March 12, 2025 • 45 mins
In this episode of Don’t Feed the Fear, host Dr. Whitehouse sits down with Lisa Rutter, the founder of NNMG Food Allergic Families (originally No Nuts Moms Group), one of the largest online support communities for food-allergic families.
Together, they explore the power of connection in navigating the challenges of food allergy parenting. Lisa shares the inspiration behind creating the group, the emotional and practical struggles families face, and how peer support can reduce isolation, anxiety, and trauma responses. They discuss the role of online communities in advocating for safer schools, inclusive social experiences, and emotional resilience for both parents and children.
NNMG Food Allergic Families - Home
Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Connection Team | FAACT
Special thanks to Kyle Dine for permission to use his song The Doghouse for the podcast theme!
www.kyledine.com
Find Dr. Whitehouse:
-thefoodallergypsychologist.com
-Instagram: @thefoodallergypsychologist
-Facebook: Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, Food Allergy Anxiety Psychologist
-welcome@dramandawhitehouse.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:01):
Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we
dive into the complex world offood allergy anxiety.
I'm your host, Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse, food allergyanxiety psychologist and food
allergy mom.
Whether you're dealing withallergies yourself or supporting
someone who is, join us for anempathetic and informative
journey toward food allergy calmand confidence..
(00:22):
This season on Don't Feed TheFear.
We are talking about how tostrengthen and expand our
support systems.
Our last episode was with alongtime board member of my
local group here in Buffalo, NewYork, and today we're taking a
different perspective with LisaRudder, the founder of NNMG Food
Allergic Families, which wasoriginally no nuts.
Moms group.
(00:43):
When Lisa's son was diagnosedwith life-threatening food
allergies to peanuts and treenuts, she did all she could to
learn and educate herself andeveryone around her, and She
searched for a local foodallergy group but didn't find
anything, so she started her owngroup for food allergic families
looking to meet and connect andhave play dates.
The word about no nuts Momsgroup quickly spread requests
for local groups in the UnitedStates and Canada came rolling
(01:06):
in, and that eventually led to ahuge online Facebook group and
forum
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (01:12):
Lisa, thank you so much for sitting
down to chat with me today aboutno nuts moms group.
It's been a part of my life andit sounds like a huge part of
your life since you started it.
Yes.
Thank you so
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (01:23):
much for having me.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (01:24):
Do you want to start just by telling us
how it all came about?
Was it a plan?
Was it an accident?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (01:29):
so in 2007, when my son was born, he was my
first born.
and he had a lot of reactions.
the first 3 years and thedoctors would just dismiss it
and say it's nothing.
I didn't know anything aboutfood allergies.
My husband didn't know anythingabout food allergies.
I'm sure there were people inthe family that had food
allergies, but it just wasn't onour radar.
(01:51):
So there were a lot of timeswhen his eyes would swell up
probably from us eating peanutbutter and nuts because we ate a
lot of it.
And I would hold him downthinking he had a bug in his
eye, you know, pouring water inhis eye.
I know.
God bless him.
There were times when they werelike, just give him Benadryl and
put him to bed, which, you know,I now know I would never do
(02:12):
that, but I was a new mom.
I had no idea what I was doing.
he finally got diagnosed, Ibelieve, 2010 or 2011, but I
ended up starting.
No Nuts Moms group originally,and then we changed it to NMG
Fetalergic Families to be moreinclusive.
(02:32):
but when I first started thegroup, I was just looking for
moms and other kids that couldrelate because I was just so
lost.
So I started the group and I hadone member in Michigan and I was
like really excited and that'swhere it all started.
But it was just a way for us tomeet other people.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (02:52):
what platform was it on when you
started then, 2011 you said?
So it was meetup.
com.
Okay.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (02:59):
And unfortunately I had to pay for
that.
I didn't make other people payfor it, but I had to pay for it
to run a group.
so I was like, I really don'tlike, you know, to have to pay
for this.
And I would like it to be freeto everyone.
I don't want to charge people.
So then someone suggested,Facebook and I was like, okay
(03:19):
Facebook wasn't huge then, but Iwas on it and it just took.
Goff like wildfire.
I mean like so many people somany members then people asking
me from other states We want agroup like this in our state and
then you know, it wasn'tintentional I was just starting
a group for me and my son toconnect with other people I felt
(03:43):
alone and I just wanted supportand I couldn't find that all I
could find were adult supportgroups But I couldn't find like
the play groups and other momswhere I could take my kid So it
was really nice to have that.
so that was my intention, butthen it just grew into so much
more.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (04:04):
Well, obviously so many people were
needing the same thing the waythat it exploded.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (04:07):
Yeah.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (04:08):
I didn't realize it was, it was your hope
initially to have in personmeetups, or were you just
looking for people to talk towho understood what do you think
you needed the most at thatmoment?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (04:18):
So really what my intention was, was a
play group.
So that was really theintention.
When I started it, so we wouldmeet up around Michigan, we
would go to the zoo, we wouldmeet up at play places, because
I felt so alone when I would goto other play dates with other
(04:38):
moms around here that didn'thave kids with food allergies,
and it was just so awkward.
I mean, I would leave there alot in tears and just, it was
just horrible.
So once I finally Found, startedthis group and then, connected
with other moms that had kids.
It just, it felt so nice to beable to go to these playdates.
(04:59):
And then it turned intoawareness and, other groups all
over.
So my focus started to changefrom not just a playgroup for me
and my son.
It started to get into advocacy.
And stock epinephrine in schoolsand venues, stock epinephrine.
So it, it definitely took, tookme in a different direction than
(05:23):
I didn't plan, but I became verypassionate about it.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (05:27):
obviously then you had accidentally built
this huge platform and audience,but what pushed it into the
advocacy piece?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (05:34):
I started getting involved with the local
support group here called Faces,and that was just for adults.
So I would go to their meetings,and then we kind of partnered.
they would send people my way, Iwould send people their way.
They're not in existenceanymore, so we started having
support group meetings too, soit went away from playgroups.
(05:57):
I mean, you can still do theplaygroups, but we also have the
support piece of it as well.
But I think that's really whatstarted it when I joined FACES,
because then I started beingpart of the advocacy part.
And then I started, working withFAIR, and then eventually I
started working with FACT.
(06:17):
And it just kind of took off.
Making connections with peoplearound the world and it was like
family and we just bonded andthe more I read, the more I
learned, the more I wanted toeducate people around me.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (06:32):
Yeah.
It seems like a naturalprogression I could say I feel
similarly in my work fromremembering being that
struggling mom to knowingnothing and struggling for some
more information and thenlooking back to those and it was
in your group like I I found youmust have been right when you
switched over to Facebook and Iremember thinking.
These moms know so much morethan these doctors that I'm
(06:53):
going to who are also, you know,were dismissing me and, and it
was so reassuring that theneventually when I'm like, okay,
I think I know some things now,it just felt so natural.
Is that kind of how it was toyou?
Like, I remember how that usedto feel.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (07:07):
Yeah, it was and you know for me to be taking
my son to the doctor and they'retelling me, you know He's fine.
Nothing's wrong And then wefinally we were in Illinois at
the time and then we moved backto Michigan for my husband's job
And then we went to a newpediatrician And just listen to
everything I was telling themand they were like, Oh my gosh,
(07:30):
you need to get him tested.
You need to get him to anallergist immediately.
But it was just like I wasseeing like one of the most
respected doctors in Illinois.
People had like sent me to himand he was just dismissing
everything and just telling me,you know, keep him away from
peanuts and nuts.
But he never like made it likeyou need to go to an allergist.
(07:53):
You might need an EpiPen.
So it was always dismissed.
So it was, it was a shock to mewhen everything started to
unfold.
And then I just started justeducating myself because I
wasn't getting it from thedoctor.
So I just kind of had to take iton myself.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (08:12):
What were the early days of the group?
Like was it a lot of other momsfeeling the same way you were?
Was everyone doing phases of thejourney?
Okay.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (08:21):
Yeah, definitely.
I feel like a lot of us, it wasa bunch of moms with little kids
that wanted to do play dates andthat's how it started.
And then I ended up doing Easterevents that were food free and
Halloween events that were foodfree.
And we did some Christmas eventsthat were food free.
so it was very rewarding.
(08:42):
You know, I wasn't.
Actually getting paid, it waslike, it felt so good to like,
be able to do that for people.
And to see like, the smiles ontheir faces, and even as my son
got older, You know, I stillcontinued to do it.
now he's gonna be 18 in Novemberand I don't do the events
(09:04):
anymore.
I encourage people in the groupto do them.
Cause it really is so rewardingonce you start doing it.
But it's just right now.
I don't have the time for itwith the three kids.
His life has went in a differentdirection and, the focus is just
a little different now.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (09:24):
Right.
Well, I'm curious, do you workoutside of the home in addition
to all of the work that you putinto NNMG?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (09:31):
Just part time I work for the schools
here.
Um, yeah, just with a temporarystaffing company.
You know, whenever I'm liketaking jobs.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (09:42):
I don't like that word, just.
That's one of the things I workwith my clients.
I'm like, don't say just, that'sa lot.
it must be so time consuming.
Not just because there's the,there's the main group, but then
now there are also.
So, you know, each state has abroken off like a subgroup,
right?
And what's your involvement?
Is that all independent or doyou oversee everything?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (10:01):
I try to let them do their own thing, each
group, and just, like, help.
I am an admin in all the groupsbecause I help set it up.
And then occasionally we willhave a group leader disappear.
That does not happen a lot, butoccasionally we do.
So I make sure I do stay in thegroups just for those reasons.
(10:22):
People can reach out and contactus and be like, Hey, what's
going on with this group?
but really I'm hands off withtheir groups.
I want them to do their ownthing and run it.
and then the forum we have somuch help there.
So it's nice.
To have that help.
And it's just for moms that werein the group that I connected
with.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (10:44):
That also probably wanted to contribute
and maybe take some of the loadoff of your shoulders.
It must have been so timeconsuming.
Yeah,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (10:51):
they really enjoy it.
And I don't want anyone to likepolice the group, you know, that
I never want that.
That's why I'm always likereminding members, report.
If you see something you don'tlike, or you don't agree with,
you can report it.
And then we will, as admins, wehave a separate group.
Where we can go and discuss thepost and what we should do, how
(11:14):
we should handle it, so it'snice.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (11:17):
Is that a problem a lot?
Do things get heated, or whatkinds of things do you have to
navigate?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (11:21):
Um, I would say, the big thing was OIT back
in the day.
That used to be a huge, hugething.
People just bickering, goingback and forth with their
different, their strongopinions.
We're food allergy moms, foodallergy parents, and we have
strong opinions.
And a lot of fear, right?
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Which makes
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (11:41):
it more heated, yeah.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (11:43):
Yeah, and what I've learned a lot is, um,
it may not work for you.
One thing may work for thisfamily, but it doesn't
necessarily work for the otherfamilies.
You have to do what's right foryou.
So, yes, we do have that, andsome people are very strong
about their opinion, and this isthe way it needs to be done.
(12:03):
But, um, you, as an admin, youdo have to, I kind of have to
remove myself sometimes from myown personal opinions and
beliefs.
And I feel that's why the groupis successful, because I do try
to stay neutral.
As best as I can.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (12:21):
Right.
And I think we all need that.
We need, we're looking forideas.
We want to know what's out therethat we don't know about or what
other people have tried thatthat isn't on our radar.
But at the same time, we, wedon't want to be told what to do
or dismissed or this is the onlypath because I feel like we're
getting that outside of thatcommunity a lot.
Right.
So we, we need ideas in asupportive and open way.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (12:43):
And then when another, Yeah, absolutely.
Another thing we have is newmoms or new dads that will come
to the group.
And then you have people like meor you, I mean, we're veterans
now.
but they don't know they're lostand they're coming to us for
help.
So sometimes I have to remindeverybody we're a support group.
(13:03):
We're not here to judge anybody.
We're here to help them andguide them.
And.
and so I think that we need todo the best that
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (13:11):
we can to support them.
Yeah, because unfortunately, I'msure you've seen a lot of other
people with experiences likeyours where people are not
getting good information orthey're getting misinformation
or being dismissed.
And I'm curious your take onthat, or if it's shifted,
because I hear a lot of it,unfortunately.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (13:26):
Yeah, well, the misinformation.
I do feel like it's gotten a lotbetter since my son was little,
but I just, I try to telleverybody, you know, do your
best.
We can give people, articles andliterature to look at, but
really it's up to them what theydecide to do.
I mean, and we're not medicalexperts.
We're not doctors.
(13:47):
Ultimately they need to consult.
with their allergist.
a big thing I like to drive homeis some people will go to just a
pediatrician.
I'm not like saying anything'swrong, but I mean, you really
should be seeing an allergistfor allergies.
so that's a big thing that I'veseen in the group.
So we try, but you know, wecan't tell them what to do, but
(14:11):
we just suggest, hey, you needto reach out to a board
certified allergist.
You're just not going to get thesame treatment.
Care.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (14:18):
Right, the same level of
specialization.
Yeah, I don't mean to dwell onthe challenging stuff, and I
know I'm seeing so muchpositivity in the group.
Tell us what you love.
what's really inspiring or greatwhen you see it unfolding there?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (14:33):
I love seeing people when they're like, Oh my
gosh, I love this group.
You guys are so great.
I've learned so much.
Things like that.
It's amazing to hear and see, Iwould say there's more positives
than negatives, for sure, in thegroup, but yeah, just reading
like people that, have had lifesaving, experiences, like their
(14:57):
kid had anaphylaxis, and thenthey'll say, I knew because of
this group to use epinephrineright away.
I didn't hesitate I love readingthings like that, knowing that
we actually helped someone
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (15:13):
And made a difference in, in a really
important situation.
There were times when I wasnewer and younger, where I would
have to not read as much, Iwould, I would dive in and I
would want to know everythingand then I would sometimes get
overwhelmed and soak in everyoneelse's worries of this happened
to them.
Could it happen to us too?
So I would come in and out of,how much I would participate and
(15:35):
then and intake off and on.
Do you find other people havingthat experience or am I just
overly anxious?
Oh, yeah,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (15:41):
no, no, no, it can get It's so overwhelming.
I actually have to turn mynotifications off for like all
the groups because it's just it,it gets so overwhelming.
So you definitely have to likepick and choose what works for
you.
It may not work for everyone.
I also have, I keep track of thereported food allergy deaths.
(16:06):
And a lot of people will say tome, how do you do that?
How do you read that stuff?
But I do think it's veryimportant and that might not
work for everybody.
But I do feel like it does helpme.
And I think keeping a record,obviously, is good, because they
don't have, like, an officialrecord out there.
(16:27):
I know it can be hard to read,but I, there are a lot of
instances where I am like, Okay,check yourself, you're getting
comfortable.
And then you read these tragicstories.
And I think they're helpful tolearn from
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (16:42):
very triggering for people, yet a
really good learning experienceto, I would imagine that's a
tough time in the groups whensomething like that comes out in
the news, as far as people'sreactions, getting tough to
manage in a community like that.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (16:57):
Yeah.
And some people, they don'twant, they don't want to read
that.
And I get that.
And I understand.
So that's why you kind of haveto.
You have to decide what you wantto read and what you don't want
to read because it can be verytriggering and very hard.
Um, I wouldn't say I'm numb toit at all because it's
heartbreaking every time, butit's a mindset I don't know.
(17:21):
I feel like I have to share itwhen I read things like that
because maybe it'll helpsomeone.
Maybe it'll save a life.
So I know it's hard though forpeople to To read, but
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (17:33):
it is.
Yeah.
And I'm not criticizing you forsharing.
I hope it doesn't come acrossthat way.
No, no, no.
I see.
Sometimes I see thoseconversations kind of spiral
into they should, like you said,they should have done.
Oh, I T.
They should, and it's obviouslythere's these grieving families,
but like you said, so many ofthose parents have stepped into
these advocacy roles and alsosaved so many kids by sharing
(17:56):
what they learned or what no oneever told them or that they
didn't know, based on theirexperiences, which is just the
most touching thing,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (18:03):
A lot of those families that have
experienced the tragedy and thenthey come into the food allergy
community and become part of uswhen they weren't before.
And it's amazing that they dothat because they're helping so
many families.
Dr. Amanda Whitehou (18:20):
Absolutely.
we take it a lot more seriouslywhen it's coming from someone
like that, too.
I think so.
Definitely.
Yeah.
your son is getting older.
Do you want to talk about justyour As an allergy mom, not as
an allergy advocate, but what'sit been like for you over time,
things changing?
You said there's moreinformation now, but what else
have you noticed?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (18:41):
So when he was younger, it was definitely a
lot harder with the food allergyaspect with parties at school.
And then once he got into middleschool, it started to get a
little easier.
And then high school, I feellike it's been really nice.
he's been really good with thisfood allergies.
He just recently started dating,so that was like a whole new
(19:02):
layer.
And people that don't handlefood allergies, when I would
bring it up to them, they'd belike, oh my gosh, that's right.
You have to worry about thisthing.
I mean, could you imagine beinga 17 year old boy, and you have
to say to a girl that you like,you know, have you eaten this?
So I have had to have thoseuncomfortable conversations with
(19:24):
him.
but it has to be done.
And then as he is going to be asenior next year, I get worried
because I still have control,but he's going to be going off
to college.
And, you know, it's a wholeother thing that I have never
experienced.
And I think.
(19:46):
He'll be good because he's veryknowledgeable about his food
allergies, but he is still, Imean, he's still a kid.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (19:52):
What do you imagine life is going to be
like as he becomes, you know, anadult, like college is obviously
that transition phase into it.
Do you foresee your life feelingdifferent?
Are you feeling different?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (20:05):
Yeah, I feel like I'm going to be a nervous
wreck all the time.
Perpetually?
Can you see like a light beyondor not right now?
I don't know.
Like, I feel like we're in likesuch a good place right now.
But as soon as he goes tocollege, I'm going to like have
sleepless nights.
as much as I know he'sresponsible, he's got a good
(20:29):
head on his shoulder, but youadd, drinking into that and all
that stuff that comes withcollege.
And I'm going to be a nervouswreck.
I'm going to be honest.
I'm going to be a nervous wreck.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (20:41):
Well, at least you know where to turn if
you need to talk to people aboutit.
Right.
For sure.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (20:46):
Yeah, that's going to be a whole nother
journey that we are going to be.
Going on and I'm not sure I'mrunning for it.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (20:55):
Well, that's one of the tough and
really unique things aboutmanaging food allergies is each
phase brings such differentchallenges than the one before
so you feel like you know Likeyou you're in a good spot right
now, and then the next thingcoming up changes everything.
It seems like
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (21:09):
Yes.
Yes.
Right now.
I feel like he is focused onplaying soccer He's great in
academics, he's like reallyfocused and all that, and
there's not a lot of worry thatI have to have, there's not
like, there's not many thingswith food,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (21:28):
how about, teenage years and dating.
Has it gone okay so far?
Is he dating or is he just notdiving in yet?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (21:36):
Well, he had, he did date once.
it was a little nerve wracking,but, that was like one of the
first things I said to him.
Does she know that you have apeanut and a tree nut allergy?
And he's like, I think she does.
I'm like, um, she needs to knownow.
So, I mean, we had to haveconversations that was totally
(21:57):
new for me.
it's scary when they venture offand do new things, but he needs
to learn to like be very vocaland not embarrassed.
That's my big thing.
He has to be able to show andcommunicate.
especially like with.
He's in college, and if he doeshave a reaction, last thing I
want him to do just from readingstories, I don't want him going
(22:19):
off into the bathroom or intohis car by himself because he's
embarrassed.
He needs to be vocal.
He needs to tell people what'sgoing on, right?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (22:30):
That is a theme that I see a lot and a lot
of Sometimes I'll say toparents, it's natural for kids
to not want to draw attention,but the best example we can set
is to not be afraid to drawattention ourselves, right?
Like, and make sure they getused to just, we're going to let
people know, and I'm notsuggesting that you haven't been
doing that, but it's hardbecause it is natural in those
teenage years to just,everything has potentially
(22:51):
humiliating, even thoughobviously it's not, you can't
help that you have foodallergies.
It's hard to see.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (22:58):
Yeah, yes, for sure.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (23:00):
Does he want to go and move far away and
have the dorm experience?
Or have you even gotten that faryet?
Do you not know?
Yeah, I think
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (23:07):
so, but I'm hoping it's just like an hour
away.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (23:11):
Close enough, yeah.
Yes, yes, but I do think it'sprobably going to go away.
You made me think of somethingthat I have noticed and I'm
curious if you did too.
My son is younger than yours.
I'm a little behind you.
But all those awkwardconversations that we have to
have with them, the kissing, butit goes back from there.
I really think I like to focuson the positives, like, right.
(23:32):
And what good things doallergies bring about?
And I really think we have adifferent type of relationship
and connection than a lot of theother parents I know with
teenage boys.
Like you agree.
You're nodding.
I'll stop talking and let yousee how you see it.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (23:46):
I feel like we're very open with each other
and I feel very thankful aboutthat.
I feel like we do talk a lotmore about things probably than
I did when I was a teenager withmy parents.
So yeah, it has its pros andcons.
And he, I mean, he's fine withhaving food allergies.
He's like, I'm fine with it, butof course the mom and me, We
(24:09):
worry constantly.
But yeah, he seems like it's nobig deal.
If I can't eat peanuts and nuts,who cares?
I don't like him anyway.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (24:20):
That's awesome.
I'm glad he's doing so well.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (24:23):
Yes.
No, he is.
He's doing great.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (24:25):
Good.
So in the group or with him,over time, do you think that
there are things shifting?
Is there a direction that, yousee?
Allergy, either advocacy or justawareness and those kinds of
topics moving in.
Or is, are we still, are we thesame as we were in 2011?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (24:47):
I feel like, I do see more, more open talk
about allergy treatments.
I do feel like when it firststarted out, it was very hard
because everybody's like, like Itold you, it's.
Your way or the highway, youcan't, nobody wants to see like
different sides of it.
like if you want to do IT,great, that is great for you.
(25:08):
If you don't want to, that'sgreat too.
Or you want to do this, or youwant to do that.
Whatever works for you and yourfamily.
I, I am seeing a shift in thattalk.
And it's like, running a group,I do feel better that, I can
share certain things abouttreatments and not have people,
go bonkers over us postingthings, because I do think it's
(25:32):
important.
So, lots of new treatments,evolving and conversations, so I
do see that growing and changingquite a bit from when it first
started.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (25:42):
I'm curious if you see this, with
those new parents that we'vetalked about.
you know, when our boys wereyoung, there was no like, if you
start OIT now, it's so much morelikely to be effective.
But I was thinking, all of thestress of then, and then these
newer parents have on top ofthat, the stress of this message
of like, you have to do it now,it's now or never if you don't
do it when they're young, whichI'm not, listeners, I'm not
(26:03):
saying that that's true, but I'mwondering if you see that
emotional experience for them ontop of what you and I were
dealing with at that point intime.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (26:10):
I could imagine that that's what happens
when they go into the allergistoffice.
They're getting hit with, wegot, These treatments X, Y, and
Z and yeah, that's a lot andlike for my son when it all
started coming out He's like I'mnot interested So I'm not gonna
force him to do something thathe doesn't want to that's why
(26:31):
it's it's just different Butyeah, I couldn't imagine new
parents right now They have alot more to deal with but I
guess it could be good There'spros and cons to it.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (26:44):
Right.
There's options.
There are more options.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (26:47):
have options now.
Yeah.
Which is nice.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (26:50):
Do you have advice that you would give
new parents who are starting outlooking back on that phase of
things?
What are the most importantthings you want them to know?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (27:01):
The best thing I could say is just learn
as much as you can.
I do feel like knowledge is soimportant and I think that is
something that I did and I'm sothankful that I did that just I
just dove right in and I justlearned as much as I could about
food allergies and just look tosupport and resources do
(27:26):
whatever you can.
I feel like that is the bestthing you can do is just learn
as much as you can.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (27:33):
What about food Older phases, the
adjustment and moving through.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (27:38):
Things get better.
Things do get better.
It might seem scary, but thingsdo get better.
And, of course, there's alwaysgoing to be challenges, but I
think if you educate yourfamily, you educate your child,
and you let them know thatthey're supported and loved, I
(28:01):
think they're going to be okay,and you're going to be okay.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (28:06):
Good to hear over and over again.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (28:09):
Yeah.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (28:10):
Yeah, I'm curious if you're interested in
sharing what the impact on youhas been emotionally and with
your, mental health and wellbeing and outlook on managing
your son's safety, and in therole that you play with the
group.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (28:25):
Um, right now at this stage, I feel really
good in the beginning.
It was really, really hard.
I found that I had to pick andchoose my battles when I was
advocating to, especially in myson's school, for example, like
I would try to help otherfamilies in that school.
But then I started to get thename, the food allergy, you
(28:49):
know, there she is, you know, Soyeah, it's been challenging.
I feel great now.
I feel like people understandand they're very caring and
compassionate towards me and myfamily.
But in the beginning it was verychallenging, very hard
emotionally, very isolating.
And, always in protecting mode.
(29:10):
You want your kid to be includedin everything and people don't
understand that.
But right now, as of today, Ifeel like pretty good.
We have a great circle offriends and family seem to
understand.
But in the beginning, it was, itwas very, very, very
challenging.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (29:28):
Will you say more about how you developed
that?
I mean, that's what I'm focusingon this season, is we need to
round out who we have, right?
Don't, don't get all yoursupport from NNMG, even though
it's a great place to go, buthow did you develop that more
fully and, and supportivelyaround you?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (29:43):
I feel like I was constantly posting on my
Facebook page articles.
And information.
I mean, I would have peoplereach out to me from high school
that don't have kids with foodallergies and they'd be like, we
have learned so much from you.
and I feel like family too.
It was sometimes uncomfortablewith family members, but I
(30:06):
really feel like, the group andmyself have really educated
them.
And it's.
It's brought on a support fromnot just NMMG, and then my,
friends, they seem to alwayswant to know, and they're very
interested and compassionateabout what other kids are going
through with food allergies, so,I would say just trying to
(30:28):
educate as best as you can.
I know some people don't wantthat information, but I would
just keep cranking it out on myFacebook page.
People would read it, and Iwould just try to educate as
best as I can without, like,offending people.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (30:46):
Right, just information, just factual
information.
Yeah,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (30:49):
just information.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (30:50):
I didn't do as much of that I would share
with family, but I didn't do asmuch personally as far as
sharing information.
Because it's hard to let go ofit when people are upset or take
offense or feel like I'm pushingsomething.
But I imagine that's a part ofit, right?
You have to just put it outthere and accept how people
respond?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (31:09):
Yeah, and we've had, I've had close
friends that have had childrenwith food allergies, too, that
aren't in my group.
And, um, some of the stuff thatthey do with their kids, I'm
like, ugh.
And, you know, in the beginning,I wanted to try to, like, This
is how it should be.
And this is, you need to do thisand you need to do that.
(31:33):
But it was not being receivedthe way that I wanted it to be
received.
So I had to step back andrealize.
You can say it, but, you know,once you give that information,
they will do with it as theywant to, but you can't force it
upon them.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (31:54):
I, I don't want to offend anyone.
And I know you don't either.
I don't think those are thepeople who are probably
listening to this conversationeither.
Right.
But I would say though, I thinkthat goes hand in hand with
their experience and theirindividual level of, of what's
going on with their allergies,because obviously if they were
having severe reactions and bigproblems, that wouldn't
continue.
So the families I've seen whohave that approach, it kind of
(32:16):
is working because they'refloating along and not.
So maybe that is best for them,that they're not having this
unnecessary level of anxiety iftheir child's, you know,
threshold of reactivity is notas sensitive as my kiddos, you
know?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (32:30):
Yeah.
And then, but then it's meinside thinking, but I don't
want that to ever happen tothem, you know?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (32:36):
So it's
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (32:36):
so
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (32:36):
hard.
It is hard.
I want to protect everyone.
I can tell you feel the sameway, but I've had, Like in
personal situations where.
I go home and I'm just sick tomy stomach when you have the
knowledge that you feelresponsible, right?
There's a level ofresponsibility that you feel.
Yeah,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (32:52):
for sure.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (32:53):
Yeah.
Talk about, if you would, what'sit like having friends with food
allergies?
what's different about thefriendships when their kids
don't have food allergies?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (33:04):
Uh, well It's a lot different, but so, the
people that I am friends with,with food allergies, I feel like
when we were, when the kids wereyounger, it was just such a
great bonding experience.
We always had stuff to talkabout.
I can totally relate toeverything they were saying.
(33:27):
And then people with not foodallergies, they would talk about
classroom parties and food and,for example, and I'd be like,
Gosh, bite your tongue, biteyour tongue.
I know a person in that classwith an allergy and you're
talking about having X, Y, andZ.
(33:48):
It's just different.
It's not on their radar, butit's like constantly on my radar
with my friends, whether theyhave food allergies or not, so
that's, it's a lot different inthat aspect.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (34:01):
Yeah, I think for me, the way I would
describe what you're sharing,it's like we have this lens that
gets put on and before we do, wedidn't realize how everyone
everywhere is obsessed with foodand talks about food and food is
just so central and part ofeverything.
And it's just normal foreverybody, but obviously it
becomes so different for us.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (34:21):
Oh, yes, people would say, Oh, my child's
childhood is going to get ruinedif they can't have that cookie
to decorate for the holidayparty.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (34:31):
They won't feel special on their
birthday.
I'm so glad we're
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (34:34):
not there anymore.
But yeah, yes.
That's tough.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (34:39):
Do you think you've seen a change in
that over the years in terms ofpeople outside of the allergy
community, maybe understandingit better or having any shift in
attitudes toward us?
I do feel
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (34:52):
like there was a time, when the CD see
first released guidelines forschools, I did see a big shift,
in parties and stuff, and I dostill think it's better now,
Valentine's Day and things likethat, but now that I have, a
daughter, she's in elementaryand fourth grade, no food
(35:12):
allergies, It's, it's differentfor me to sit back and see how
much food is at the parties.
It's just not on their radarlike it was with me.
So, sometimes I'm like, I feellike this is slipping back.
But I do think it has improvedquite a bit.
(35:33):
since my son was in school, Ifeel like people are more
compassionate towards it.
But I do still have food at theparties all the time.
Do
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (35:44):
you think that slipping back is just not
having you or a parent like youin there advocating and kind of
pushing?
Yeah, maybe that's
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (35:50):
what it is.
Yeah, maybe that's what it is.
Um, I'm not pushing andadvocating for it.
And I was always the party momwhen my.
And I was like, we can't dothis.
We can't have that.
so and so can't have this.
I would be advocating for otherpeople, not just my son, when
they were in the class with him.
(36:10):
And now I purposely try to, takea step back in that area.
when.
My daughter doesn't have anyfood allergies, but yeah, it can
be hard sometimes when I hear,Oh, well, that person has an
allergy, but yet there's stillall this food.
And of course my heart is like,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (36:29):
Oh, Yeah, you think almost it would be,
Oh, it's going to be so lessstressful going through with
this kiddo without the foodallergies, but it's a different
way.
Right.
In terms of, you can't unknowwhat you know, and what you, you
know, I was trained to noticenow.
Yes, yes, for sure.
what direction do you see the,the forum and the groups going
(36:50):
in?
social media is changing a lotand, I think the nature of kind
of groups like that areshifting.
Do you, have you thought aboutthat or is it?
Something you see changing.
You know,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (37:00):
sometimes I sit and think, how long will I
be able to do, do this?
And I did stop doing thecommunity events, so that's been
like a huge weight off myshoulders.
I generally enjoy posting newsand food allergy information on
(37:20):
the The community Facebook page,not the forum but the community
Facebook page.
I don't seem like ever stoppingdoing that.
I feel like that's reallyimportant.
the forum, I feel like it's sopopular.
I don't see that going anywhere.
Now the local groups, I'm notsure how long the local groups
(37:41):
will last.
I mean, we still have over ahundred, but it really depends
on the group leader.
and what they want to make ofeach group, but I don't see it
going away anytime soon.
Honestly, I feel like everybodyreally needs it still.
And it's just, it's alwaysconstantly active, always
active.
So I don't really see it goinganywhere anytime soon.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (38:04):
Good.
I hope not.
I mean, so many of us, it'slike, it's our first lifeline.
It's, I mean, I know because itwas for me, I remember, um,
someone in the group, you know,when I posted and I was new
saying.
You know, welcome to the clubthat you never wanted to be a
part of, and even though it wasawful and I didn't want to be a
part of the club, I was like,okay, but thank you for, putting
your arm around my shoulders,and it's, for so many of us,
(38:25):
it's just the first, place wefeel understood and seen in this
experience.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (38:31):
Yes, it's awesome and Facebook has been
great as far as, being able toreach a ton of people.
Dr. Amanda Whitehou (38:38):
Definitely.
You mentioned how much you enjoysharing the information and the
news.
I'm curious if you have favoriteresources where you like to look
for information that peoplemight also want to follow or
subscribe to.
Where do you go?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (38:52):
So, Allergic Living Magazine is my favorite.
And then FACT, AnaphylaxisConnection Team.
Allergic Girl, Allergy Travels.
I love the Nut Free Walk.
She has like.
Tons of great resources.
I love Red Sneakers for Oakley,Elijah's Hope.
(39:17):
I mean, there's so, there's somany.
Oh my gosh, I feel bad.
I know I'm missing a lot.
But if you go on our website, Ihave like a list of like
resources
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (39:27):
Perfect.
I'll make sure I, I share thelink to it in the notes from the
show.
and you mentioned FACT andyou're involved with them.
Do you want to say a little bitabout that?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (39:36):
Yes, so I am, in charge of support group
development, and I don't, do asmuch as I did in the beginning,
but if someone wants to start asupport group in their
community, I am also there tohelp, as well as, to support
them.
And then, for example, ifsomeone reached out to me for an
(39:58):
NMG group in their area, I canask them if they want to become
a fact recognized support group.
And then I would add them toFACT and get them started.
And that would be for anygroups, wherever.
Whoever wants to start a group,I would help them become a fact
recognized support group.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (40:16):
Perfect.
I think there is a nice balance,that, that huge resource and
wealth of information in the biggroups and the forum and what
you share, on the communitypage, but then also having that
local connection both bringsomething different to the table
in terms of what we're needing.
Yeah, yes, definitely., whathopes do you have for the future
(40:37):
of the allergy community and theallergy world?
Are there things that you see onthe horizon or are there
directions you see things goingthat you think are going to be
big for us?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (40:47):
I feel like there's so many big things out
there right now going on.
I know U of M was doing a greatstudy that hasn't been put in
trials yet, but that lookedfascinating.
I forget exactly the details,but it looked so cool.
And then there's so many otherexciting treatments out there.
(41:08):
I mean, you hear abouttoothpaste, desensitizing the
neffy now, I haven't gotten myson the neffy yet, but I'm, I
have a script for it.
I'm getting ready to fill that.
obviously I would love a curefor food allergies.
I would like it to be easier.
the OIT thing, it's not for us,like I said.
but something a little easierfor families where you don't
(41:30):
have to ingest daily.
Something, that you're allergicto.
so I, I am very hopeful.
I feel like there's a lot ofthings out there on the horizon.
So I'm just, I'm very hopeful itcontinues.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (41:44):
I think it will.
I feel like we're building, notwe, I can't take credit for it,
but there is momentum buildingin terms of, of ideas and
solutions and, you know,thinking back to, like you said,
when, when OIT was socontroversial in the group, now
there's like 15 things and asyou said, it's not as
controversial, but our mindshave had to be open because
there's all these new ideas andsome of them available now.
(42:06):
Yes.
Yes.
We talked a little bit about thestrength of our relationships
and the communication with thekids.
But is there anything else thatyou can remind us is a positive
or an added bonus of foodallergies?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (42:21):
Um, compassion.
I feel like it has made me morecompassionate towards Other
people cause you don't know whatpeople are going through.
And I, I do feel like it hasmade my entire family more
compassionate to other people,not just people with food
allergies, but just people goingthrough all kinds of struggles
(42:44):
in their lives.
So I do feel like that's beenthe blessing.
I just feel like it's made memore of a compassionate person
to others.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (42:52):
I agree.
I see that too.
Tell everybody if they happen tobe listening and yet not a part
of NNMG, tell us how to find thegroup.
Okay.
So, if you
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (43:03):
are looking for a support group in your
area, you can find us on FACT'swebsite, the Food Allergy and
Anaphylaxis Connection Team.
They have, find support group,and we're also on FAIR's website
as well.
And then you can also justsimply Google our name, NNMG
Food Allergic Families.
(43:23):
It'll pop up.
Our website, It's real easy tofind if you Google and then we
have all the local groups onthere and Facebook, too.
You can also enter it inFacebook and it'll pop up.
It's a very popular group.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:39):
It's a big crew.
Um, I'll be sure to put thelinks in there, too, to make it
easy for people to find it.
And I want to thank you because,like I said, it really was truly
the, the beginning of a lifelinefor me when I felt like I was
drowning and lost.
So it means a lot to me to beable to meet you and, and ask
you all this stuff.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (43:58):
Thank you.
Here are your three action stepsthat you can take after
listening today.
Number one, if you're notalready a member search for NNMG
Food Allergic Families, you willfind their website You'll find
the group easily on Facebook andon Instagram, so you can choose
one or all formats that work foryou if you don't already belong
(44:19):
to the group.
Number two.
After listening to Lisa and Ichat about moving through the
stages of allergy management,take a moment to reflect on the
stage that you're in right now.
If this is new to you and you'restill adjusting, if you've
already been through a fewrounds of ups and downs, reflect
on what you've learned.
What's harder or easier rightnow relative to other phases of
(44:42):
the journey?
And give yourself a little bitof credit for all that you're
navigating and have navigated inthe past.
Number three, you can take thatperspective and mindset and use
it to connect with someone.
Today I was able to thank theperson who created a lifeline
for me when I was the mother ofa newly diagnosed child and I
(45:02):
was scared and I felt reallyalone, and that was a great
feeling for me.
So in whatever way you're ableto think of who helped you and
maybe take a moment to thankthem for being there for you
when you needed them the most.
So once again to Lisa Rudder,thank you for creating that for
me and for helping so many otherfamilies who've been in our
shoes.
(45:23):
the content of this podcast isfor informational and
educational purposes only, andis not a substitute for
professional medical or mentalhealth advice, diagnosis, or
treatment.
If you have any questions aboutyour own medical experience or
mental health needs, pleaseconsult a professional.
I'm Dr.
Amanda White house.
Thanks for joining me.
And until we chat again,remember don't feed the fear.
Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we
dive into the complex world offood allergy anxiety.
I'm your host, Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse, food allergyanxiety psychologist and food
allergy mom.
Whether you're dealing withallergies yourself or supporting
someone who is, join us for anempathetic and informative
journey toward food allergy calmand confidence..
(00:22):
This season on Don't Feed TheFear.
We are talking about how tostrengthen and expand our
support systems.
Our last episode was with alongtime board member of my
local group here in Buffalo, NewYork, and today we're taking a
different perspective with LisaRudder, the founder of NNMG Food
Allergic Families, which wasoriginally no nuts.
Moms group.
(00:43):
When Lisa's son was diagnosedwith life-threatening food
allergies to peanuts and treenuts, she did all she could to
learn and educate herself andeveryone around her, and She
searched for a local foodallergy group but didn't find
anything, so she started her owngroup for food allergic families
looking to meet and connect andhave play dates.
The word about no nuts Momsgroup quickly spread requests
for local groups in the UnitedStates and Canada came rolling
(01:06):
in, and that eventually led to ahuge online Facebook group and
forum
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (01:12):
Lisa, thank you so much for sitting
down to chat with me today aboutno nuts moms group.
It's been a part of my life andit sounds like a huge part of
your life since you started it.
Yes.
Thank you so
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (01:23):
much for having me.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (01:24):
Do you want to start just by telling us
how it all came about?
Was it a plan?
Was it an accident?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (01:29):
so in 2007, when my son was born, he was my
first born.
and he had a lot of reactions.
the first 3 years and thedoctors would just dismiss it
and say it's nothing.
I didn't know anything aboutfood allergies.
My husband didn't know anythingabout food allergies.
I'm sure there were people inthe family that had food
allergies, but it just wasn't onour radar.
(01:51):
So there were a lot of timeswhen his eyes would swell up
probably from us eating peanutbutter and nuts because we ate a
lot of it.
And I would hold him downthinking he had a bug in his
eye, you know, pouring water inhis eye.
I know.
God bless him.
There were times when they werelike, just give him Benadryl and
put him to bed, which, you know,I now know I would never do
(02:12):
that, but I was a new mom.
I had no idea what I was doing.
he finally got diagnosed, Ibelieve, 2010 or 2011, but I
ended up starting.
No Nuts Moms group originally,and then we changed it to NMG
Fetalergic Families to be moreinclusive.
(02:32):
but when I first started thegroup, I was just looking for
moms and other kids that couldrelate because I was just so
lost.
So I started the group and I hadone member in Michigan and I was
like really excited and that'swhere it all started.
But it was just a way for us tomeet other people.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (02:52):
what platform was it on when you
started then, 2011 you said?
So it was meetup.
com.
Okay.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (02:59):
And unfortunately I had to pay for
that.
I didn't make other people payfor it, but I had to pay for it
to run a group.
so I was like, I really don'tlike, you know, to have to pay
for this.
And I would like it to be freeto everyone.
I don't want to charge people.
So then someone suggested,Facebook and I was like, okay
(03:19):
Facebook wasn't huge then, but Iwas on it and it just took.
Goff like wildfire.
I mean like so many people somany members then people asking
me from other states We want agroup like this in our state and
then you know, it wasn'tintentional I was just starting
a group for me and my son toconnect with other people I felt
(03:43):
alone and I just wanted supportand I couldn't find that all I
could find were adult supportgroups But I couldn't find like
the play groups and other momswhere I could take my kid So it
was really nice to have that.
so that was my intention, butthen it just grew into so much
more.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (04:04):
Well, obviously so many people were
needing the same thing the waythat it exploded.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (04:07):
Yeah.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (04:08):
I didn't realize it was, it was your hope
initially to have in personmeetups, or were you just
looking for people to talk towho understood what do you think
you needed the most at thatmoment?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (04:18):
So really what my intention was, was a
play group.
So that was really theintention.
When I started it, so we wouldmeet up around Michigan, we
would go to the zoo, we wouldmeet up at play places, because
I felt so alone when I would goto other play dates with other
(04:38):
moms around here that didn'thave kids with food allergies,
and it was just so awkward.
I mean, I would leave there alot in tears and just, it was
just horrible.
So once I finally Found, startedthis group and then, connected
with other moms that had kids.
It just, it felt so nice to beable to go to these playdates.
(04:59):
And then it turned intoawareness and, other groups all
over.
So my focus started to changefrom not just a playgroup for me
and my son.
It started to get into advocacy.
And stock epinephrine in schoolsand venues, stock epinephrine.
So it, it definitely took, tookme in a different direction than
(05:23):
I didn't plan, but I became verypassionate about it.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (05:27):
obviously then you had accidentally built
this huge platform and audience,but what pushed it into the
advocacy piece?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (05:34):
I started getting involved with the local
support group here called Faces,and that was just for adults.
So I would go to their meetings,and then we kind of partnered.
they would send people my way, Iwould send people their way.
They're not in existenceanymore, so we started having
support group meetings too, soit went away from playgroups.
(05:57):
I mean, you can still do theplaygroups, but we also have the
support piece of it as well.
But I think that's really whatstarted it when I joined FACES,
because then I started beingpart of the advocacy part.
And then I started, working withFAIR, and then eventually I
started working with FACT.
(06:17):
And it just kind of took off.
Making connections with peoplearound the world and it was like
family and we just bonded andthe more I read, the more I
learned, the more I wanted toeducate people around me.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (06:32):
Yeah.
It seems like a naturalprogression I could say I feel
similarly in my work fromremembering being that
struggling mom to knowingnothing and struggling for some
more information and thenlooking back to those and it was
in your group like I I found youmust have been right when you
switched over to Facebook and Iremember thinking.
These moms know so much morethan these doctors that I'm
(06:53):
going to who are also, you know,were dismissing me and, and it
was so reassuring that theneventually when I'm like, okay,
I think I know some things now,it just felt so natural.
Is that kind of how it was toyou?
Like, I remember how that usedto feel.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (07:07):
Yeah, it was and you know for me to be taking
my son to the doctor and they'retelling me, you know He's fine.
Nothing's wrong And then wefinally we were in Illinois at
the time and then we moved backto Michigan for my husband's job
And then we went to a newpediatrician And just listen to
everything I was telling themand they were like, Oh my gosh,
(07:30):
you need to get him tested.
You need to get him to anallergist immediately.
But it was just like I wasseeing like one of the most
respected doctors in Illinois.
People had like sent me to himand he was just dismissing
everything and just telling me,you know, keep him away from
peanuts and nuts.
But he never like made it likeyou need to go to an allergist.
(07:53):
You might need an EpiPen.
So it was always dismissed.
So it was, it was a shock to mewhen everything started to
unfold.
And then I just started justeducating myself because I
wasn't getting it from thedoctor.
So I just kind of had to take iton myself.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (08:12):
What were the early days of the group?
Like was it a lot of other momsfeeling the same way you were?
Was everyone doing phases of thejourney?
Okay.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (08:21):
Yeah, definitely.
I feel like a lot of us, it wasa bunch of moms with little kids
that wanted to do play dates andthat's how it started.
And then I ended up doing Easterevents that were food free and
Halloween events that were foodfree.
And we did some Christmas eventsthat were food free.
so it was very rewarding.
(08:42):
You know, I wasn't.
Actually getting paid, it waslike, it felt so good to like,
be able to do that for people.
And to see like, the smiles ontheir faces, and even as my son
got older, You know, I stillcontinued to do it.
now he's gonna be 18 in Novemberand I don't do the events
(09:04):
anymore.
I encourage people in the groupto do them.
Cause it really is so rewardingonce you start doing it.
But it's just right now.
I don't have the time for itwith the three kids.
His life has went in a differentdirection and, the focus is just
a little different now.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (09:24):
Right.
Well, I'm curious, do you workoutside of the home in addition
to all of the work that you putinto NNMG?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (09:31):
Just part time I work for the schools
here.
Um, yeah, just with a temporarystaffing company.
You know, whenever I'm liketaking jobs.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (09:42):
I don't like that word, just.
That's one of the things I workwith my clients.
I'm like, don't say just, that'sa lot.
it must be so time consuming.
Not just because there's the,there's the main group, but then
now there are also.
So, you know, each state has abroken off like a subgroup,
right?
And what's your involvement?
Is that all independent or doyou oversee everything?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (10:01):
I try to let them do their own thing, each
group, and just, like, help.
I am an admin in all the groupsbecause I help set it up.
And then occasionally we willhave a group leader disappear.
That does not happen a lot, butoccasionally we do.
So I make sure I do stay in thegroups just for those reasons.
(10:22):
People can reach out and contactus and be like, Hey, what's
going on with this group?
but really I'm hands off withtheir groups.
I want them to do their ownthing and run it.
and then the forum we have somuch help there.
So it's nice.
To have that help.
And it's just for moms that werein the group that I connected
with.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (10:44):
That also probably wanted to contribute
and maybe take some of the loadoff of your shoulders.
It must have been so timeconsuming.
Yeah,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (10:51):
they really enjoy it.
And I don't want anyone to likepolice the group, you know, that
I never want that.
That's why I'm always likereminding members, report.
If you see something you don'tlike, or you don't agree with,
you can report it.
And then we will, as admins, wehave a separate group.
Where we can go and discuss thepost and what we should do, how
(11:14):
we should handle it, so it'snice.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (11:17):
Is that a problem a lot?
Do things get heated, or whatkinds of things do you have to
navigate?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (11:21):
Um, I would say, the big thing was OIT back
in the day.
That used to be a huge, hugething.
People just bickering, goingback and forth with their
different, their strongopinions.
We're food allergy moms, foodallergy parents, and we have
strong opinions.
And a lot of fear, right?
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Which makes
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (11:41):
it more heated, yeah.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (11:43):
Yeah, and what I've learned a lot is, um,
it may not work for you.
One thing may work for thisfamily, but it doesn't
necessarily work for the otherfamilies.
You have to do what's right foryou.
So, yes, we do have that, andsome people are very strong
about their opinion, and this isthe way it needs to be done.
(12:03):
But, um, you, as an admin, youdo have to, I kind of have to
remove myself sometimes from myown personal opinions and
beliefs.
And I feel that's why the groupis successful, because I do try
to stay neutral.
As best as I can.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (12:21):
Right.
And I think we all need that.
We need, we're looking forideas.
We want to know what's out therethat we don't know about or what
other people have tried thatthat isn't on our radar.
But at the same time, we, wedon't want to be told what to do
or dismissed or this is the onlypath because I feel like we're
getting that outside of thatcommunity a lot.
Right.
So we, we need ideas in asupportive and open way.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (12:43):
And then when another, Yeah, absolutely.
Another thing we have is newmoms or new dads that will come
to the group.
And then you have people like meor you, I mean, we're veterans
now.
but they don't know they're lostand they're coming to us for
help.
So sometimes I have to remindeverybody we're a support group.
(13:03):
We're not here to judge anybody.
We're here to help them andguide them.
And.
and so I think that we need todo the best that
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (13:11):
we can to support them.
Yeah, because unfortunately, I'msure you've seen a lot of other
people with experiences likeyours where people are not
getting good information orthey're getting misinformation
or being dismissed.
And I'm curious your take onthat, or if it's shifted,
because I hear a lot of it,unfortunately.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (13:26):
Yeah, well, the misinformation.
I do feel like it's gotten a lotbetter since my son was little,
but I just, I try to telleverybody, you know, do your
best.
We can give people, articles andliterature to look at, but
really it's up to them what theydecide to do.
I mean, and we're not medicalexperts.
We're not doctors.
(13:47):
Ultimately they need to consult.
with their allergist.
a big thing I like to drive homeis some people will go to just a
pediatrician.
I'm not like saying anything'swrong, but I mean, you really
should be seeing an allergistfor allergies.
so that's a big thing that I'veseen in the group.
So we try, but you know, wecan't tell them what to do, but
(14:11):
we just suggest, hey, you needto reach out to a board
certified allergist.
You're just not going to get thesame treatment.
Care.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (14:18):
Right, the same level of
specialization.
Yeah, I don't mean to dwell onthe challenging stuff, and I
know I'm seeing so muchpositivity in the group.
Tell us what you love.
what's really inspiring or greatwhen you see it unfolding there?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (14:33):
I love seeing people when they're like, Oh my
gosh, I love this group.
You guys are so great.
I've learned so much.
Things like that.
It's amazing to hear and see, Iwould say there's more positives
than negatives, for sure, in thegroup, but yeah, just reading
like people that, have had lifesaving, experiences, like their
(14:57):
kid had anaphylaxis, and thenthey'll say, I knew because of
this group to use epinephrineright away.
I didn't hesitate I love readingthings like that, knowing that
we actually helped someone
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (15:13):
And made a difference in, in a really
important situation.
There were times when I wasnewer and younger, where I would
have to not read as much, Iwould, I would dive in and I
would want to know everythingand then I would sometimes get
overwhelmed and soak in everyoneelse's worries of this happened
to them.
Could it happen to us too?
So I would come in and out of,how much I would participate and
(15:35):
then and intake off and on.
Do you find other people havingthat experience or am I just
overly anxious?
Oh, yeah,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (15:41):
no, no, no, it can get It's so overwhelming.
I actually have to turn mynotifications off for like all
the groups because it's just it,it gets so overwhelming.
So you definitely have to likepick and choose what works for
you.
It may not work for everyone.
I also have, I keep track of thereported food allergy deaths.
(16:06):
And a lot of people will say tome, how do you do that?
How do you read that stuff?
But I do think it's veryimportant and that might not
work for everybody.
But I do feel like it does helpme.
And I think keeping a record,obviously, is good, because they
don't have, like, an officialrecord out there.
(16:27):
I know it can be hard to read,but I, there are a lot of
instances where I am like, Okay,check yourself, you're getting
comfortable.
And then you read these tragicstories.
And I think they're helpful tolearn from
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (16:42):
very triggering for people, yet a
really good learning experienceto, I would imagine that's a
tough time in the groups whensomething like that comes out in
the news, as far as people'sreactions, getting tough to
manage in a community like that.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (16:57):
Yeah.
And some people, they don'twant, they don't want to read
that.
And I get that.
And I understand.
So that's why you kind of haveto.
You have to decide what you wantto read and what you don't want
to read because it can be verytriggering and very hard.
Um, I wouldn't say I'm numb toit at all because it's
heartbreaking every time, butit's a mindset I don't know.
(17:21):
I feel like I have to share itwhen I read things like that
because maybe it'll helpsomeone.
Maybe it'll save a life.
So I know it's hard though forpeople to To read, but
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (17:33):
it is.
Yeah.
And I'm not criticizing you forsharing.
I hope it doesn't come acrossthat way.
No, no, no.
I see.
Sometimes I see thoseconversations kind of spiral
into they should, like you said,they should have done.
Oh, I T.
They should, and it's obviouslythere's these grieving families,
but like you said, so many ofthose parents have stepped into
these advocacy roles and alsosaved so many kids by sharing
(17:56):
what they learned or what no oneever told them or that they
didn't know, based on theirexperiences, which is just the
most touching thing,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (18:03):
A lot of those families that have
experienced the tragedy and thenthey come into the food allergy
community and become part of uswhen they weren't before.
And it's amazing that they dothat because they're helping so
many families.
Dr. Amanda Whitehou (18:20):
Absolutely.
we take it a lot more seriouslywhen it's coming from someone
like that, too.
I think so.
Definitely.
Yeah.
your son is getting older.
Do you want to talk about justyour As an allergy mom, not as
an allergy advocate, but what'sit been like for you over time,
things changing?
You said there's moreinformation now, but what else
have you noticed?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (18:41):
So when he was younger, it was definitely a
lot harder with the food allergyaspect with parties at school.
And then once he got into middleschool, it started to get a
little easier.
And then high school, I feellike it's been really nice.
he's been really good with thisfood allergies.
He just recently started dating,so that was like a whole new
(19:02):
layer.
And people that don't handlefood allergies, when I would
bring it up to them, they'd belike, oh my gosh, that's right.
You have to worry about thisthing.
I mean, could you imagine beinga 17 year old boy, and you have
to say to a girl that you like,you know, have you eaten this?
So I have had to have thoseuncomfortable conversations with
(19:24):
him.
but it has to be done.
And then as he is going to be asenior next year, I get worried
because I still have control,but he's going to be going off
to college.
And, you know, it's a wholeother thing that I have never
experienced.
And I think.
(19:46):
He'll be good because he's veryknowledgeable about his food
allergies, but he is still, Imean, he's still a kid.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (19:52):
What do you imagine life is going to be
like as he becomes, you know, anadult, like college is obviously
that transition phase into it.
Do you foresee your life feelingdifferent?
Are you feeling different?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (20:05):
Yeah, I feel like I'm going to be a nervous
wreck all the time.
Perpetually?
Can you see like a light beyondor not right now?
I don't know.
Like, I feel like we're in likesuch a good place right now.
But as soon as he goes tocollege, I'm going to like have
sleepless nights.
as much as I know he'sresponsible, he's got a good
(20:29):
head on his shoulder, but youadd, drinking into that and all
that stuff that comes withcollege.
And I'm going to be a nervouswreck.
I'm going to be honest.
I'm going to be a nervous wreck.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (20:41):
Well, at least you know where to turn if
you need to talk to people aboutit.
Right.
For sure.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (20:46):
Yeah, that's going to be a whole nother
journey that we are going to be.
Going on and I'm not sure I'mrunning for it.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (20:55):
Well, that's one of the tough and
really unique things aboutmanaging food allergies is each
phase brings such differentchallenges than the one before
so you feel like you know Likeyou you're in a good spot right
now, and then the next thingcoming up changes everything.
It seems like
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (21:09):
Yes.
Yes.
Right now.
I feel like he is focused onplaying soccer He's great in
academics, he's like reallyfocused and all that, and
there's not a lot of worry thatI have to have, there's not
like, there's not many thingswith food,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (21:28):
how about, teenage years and dating.
Has it gone okay so far?
Is he dating or is he just notdiving in yet?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (21:36):
Well, he had, he did date once.
it was a little nerve wracking,but, that was like one of the
first things I said to him.
Does she know that you have apeanut and a tree nut allergy?
And he's like, I think she does.
I'm like, um, she needs to knownow.
So, I mean, we had to haveconversations that was totally
(21:57):
new for me.
it's scary when they venture offand do new things, but he needs
to learn to like be very vocaland not embarrassed.
That's my big thing.
He has to be able to show andcommunicate.
especially like with.
He's in college, and if he doeshave a reaction, last thing I
want him to do just from readingstories, I don't want him going
(22:19):
off into the bathroom or intohis car by himself because he's
embarrassed.
He needs to be vocal.
He needs to tell people what'sgoing on, right?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (22:30):
That is a theme that I see a lot and a lot
of Sometimes I'll say toparents, it's natural for kids
to not want to draw attention,but the best example we can set
is to not be afraid to drawattention ourselves, right?
Like, and make sure they getused to just, we're going to let
people know, and I'm notsuggesting that you haven't been
doing that, but it's hardbecause it is natural in those
teenage years to just,everything has potentially
(22:51):
humiliating, even thoughobviously it's not, you can't
help that you have foodallergies.
It's hard to see.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (22:58):
Yeah, yes, for sure.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (23:00):
Does he want to go and move far away and
have the dorm experience?
Or have you even gotten that faryet?
Do you not know?
Yeah, I think
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (23:07):
so, but I'm hoping it's just like an hour
away.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (23:11):
Close enough, yeah.
Yes, yes, but I do think it'sprobably going to go away.
You made me think of somethingthat I have noticed and I'm
curious if you did too.
My son is younger than yours.
I'm a little behind you.
But all those awkwardconversations that we have to
have with them, the kissing, butit goes back from there.
I really think I like to focuson the positives, like, right.
(23:32):
And what good things doallergies bring about?
And I really think we have adifferent type of relationship
and connection than a lot of theother parents I know with
teenage boys.
Like you agree.
You're nodding.
I'll stop talking and let yousee how you see it.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (23:46):
I feel like we're very open with each other
and I feel very thankful aboutthat.
I feel like we do talk a lotmore about things probably than
I did when I was a teenager withmy parents.
So yeah, it has its pros andcons.
And he, I mean, he's fine withhaving food allergies.
He's like, I'm fine with it, butof course the mom and me, We
(24:09):
worry constantly.
But yeah, he seems like it's nobig deal.
If I can't eat peanuts and nuts,who cares?
I don't like him anyway.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (24:20):
That's awesome.
I'm glad he's doing so well.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (24:23):
Yes.
No, he is.
He's doing great.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (24:25):
Good.
So in the group or with him,over time, do you think that
there are things shifting?
Is there a direction that, yousee?
Allergy, either advocacy or justawareness and those kinds of
topics moving in.
Or is, are we still, are we thesame as we were in 2011?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (24:47):
I feel like, I do see more, more open talk
about allergy treatments.
I do feel like when it firststarted out, it was very hard
because everybody's like, like Itold you, it's.
Your way or the highway, youcan't, nobody wants to see like
different sides of it.
like if you want to do IT,great, that is great for you.
(25:08):
If you don't want to, that'sgreat too.
Or you want to do this, or youwant to do that.
Whatever works for you and yourfamily.
I, I am seeing a shift in thattalk.
And it's like, running a group,I do feel better that, I can
share certain things abouttreatments and not have people,
go bonkers over us postingthings, because I do think it's
(25:32):
important.
So, lots of new treatments,evolving and conversations, so I
do see that growing and changingquite a bit from when it first
started.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (25:42):
I'm curious if you see this, with
those new parents that we'vetalked about.
you know, when our boys wereyoung, there was no like, if you
start OIT now, it's so much morelikely to be effective.
But I was thinking, all of thestress of then, and then these
newer parents have on top ofthat, the stress of this message
of like, you have to do it now,it's now or never if you don't
do it when they're young, whichI'm not, listeners, I'm not
(26:03):
saying that that's true, but I'mwondering if you see that
emotional experience for them ontop of what you and I were
dealing with at that point intime.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (26:10):
I could imagine that that's what happens
when they go into the allergistoffice.
They're getting hit with, wegot, These treatments X, Y, and
Z and yeah, that's a lot andlike for my son when it all
started coming out He's like I'mnot interested So I'm not gonna
force him to do something thathe doesn't want to that's why
(26:31):
it's it's just different Butyeah, I couldn't imagine new
parents right now They have alot more to deal with but I
guess it could be good There'spros and cons to it.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (26:44):
Right.
There's options.
There are more options.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (26:47):
have options now.
Yeah.
Which is nice.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (26:50):
Do you have advice that you would give
new parents who are starting outlooking back on that phase of
things?
What are the most importantthings you want them to know?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (27:01):
The best thing I could say is just learn
as much as you can.
I do feel like knowledge is soimportant and I think that is
something that I did and I'm sothankful that I did that just I
just dove right in and I justlearned as much as I could about
food allergies and just look tosupport and resources do
(27:26):
whatever you can.
I feel like that is the bestthing you can do is just learn
as much as you can.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (27:33):
What about food Older phases, the
adjustment and moving through.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (27:38):
Things get better.
Things do get better.
It might seem scary, but thingsdo get better.
And, of course, there's alwaysgoing to be challenges, but I
think if you educate yourfamily, you educate your child,
and you let them know thatthey're supported and loved, I
(28:01):
think they're going to be okay,and you're going to be okay.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (28:06):
Good to hear over and over again.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (28:09):
Yeah.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (28:10):
Yeah, I'm curious if you're interested in
sharing what the impact on youhas been emotionally and with
your, mental health and wellbeing and outlook on managing
your son's safety, and in therole that you play with the
group.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (28:25):
Um, right now at this stage, I feel really
good in the beginning.
It was really, really hard.
I found that I had to pick andchoose my battles when I was
advocating to, especially in myson's school, for example, like
I would try to help otherfamilies in that school.
But then I started to get thename, the food allergy, you
(28:49):
know, there she is, you know, Soyeah, it's been challenging.
I feel great now.
I feel like people understandand they're very caring and
compassionate towards me and myfamily.
But in the beginning it was verychallenging, very hard
emotionally, very isolating.
And, always in protecting mode.
(29:10):
You want your kid to be includedin everything and people don't
understand that.
But right now, as of today, Ifeel like pretty good.
We have a great circle offriends and family seem to
understand.
But in the beginning, it was, itwas very, very, very
challenging.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (29:28):
Will you say more about how you developed
that?
I mean, that's what I'm focusingon this season, is we need to
round out who we have, right?
Don't, don't get all yoursupport from NNMG, even though
it's a great place to go, buthow did you develop that more
fully and, and supportivelyaround you?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (29:43):
I feel like I was constantly posting on my
Facebook page articles.
And information.
I mean, I would have peoplereach out to me from high school
that don't have kids with foodallergies and they'd be like, we
have learned so much from you.
and I feel like family too.
It was sometimes uncomfortablewith family members, but I
(30:06):
really feel like, the group andmyself have really educated
them.
And it's.
It's brought on a support fromnot just NMMG, and then my,
friends, they seem to alwayswant to know, and they're very
interested and compassionateabout what other kids are going
through with food allergies, so,I would say just trying to
(30:28):
educate as best as you can.
I know some people don't wantthat information, but I would
just keep cranking it out on myFacebook page.
People would read it, and Iwould just try to educate as
best as I can without, like,offending people.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (30:46):
Right, just information, just factual
information.
Yeah,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (30:49):
just information.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (30:50):
I didn't do as much of that I would share
with family, but I didn't do asmuch personally as far as
sharing information.
Because it's hard to let go ofit when people are upset or take
offense or feel like I'm pushingsomething.
But I imagine that's a part ofit, right?
You have to just put it outthere and accept how people
respond?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (31:09):
Yeah, and we've had, I've had close
friends that have had childrenwith food allergies, too, that
aren't in my group.
And, um, some of the stuff thatthey do with their kids, I'm
like, ugh.
And, you know, in the beginning,I wanted to try to, like, This
is how it should be.
And this is, you need to do thisand you need to do that.
(31:33):
But it was not being receivedthe way that I wanted it to be
received.
So I had to step back andrealize.
You can say it, but, you know,once you give that information,
they will do with it as theywant to, but you can't force it
upon them.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (31:54):
I, I don't want to offend anyone.
And I know you don't either.
I don't think those are thepeople who are probably
listening to this conversationeither.
Right.
But I would say though, I thinkthat goes hand in hand with
their experience and theirindividual level of, of what's
going on with their allergies,because obviously if they were
having severe reactions and bigproblems, that wouldn't
continue.
So the families I've seen whohave that approach, it kind of
(32:16):
is working because they'refloating along and not.
So maybe that is best for them,that they're not having this
unnecessary level of anxiety iftheir child's, you know,
threshold of reactivity is notas sensitive as my kiddos, you
know?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (32:30):
Yeah.
And then, but then it's meinside thinking, but I don't
want that to ever happen tothem, you know?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (32:36):
So it's
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (32:36):
so
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (32:36):
hard.
It is hard.
I want to protect everyone.
I can tell you feel the sameway, but I've had, Like in
personal situations where.
I go home and I'm just sick tomy stomach when you have the
knowledge that you feelresponsible, right?
There's a level ofresponsibility that you feel.
Yeah,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (32:52):
for sure.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (32:53):
Yeah.
Talk about, if you would, what'sit like having friends with food
allergies?
what's different about thefriendships when their kids
don't have food allergies?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (33:04):
Uh, well It's a lot different, but so, the
people that I am friends with,with food allergies, I feel like
when we were, when the kids wereyounger, it was just such a
great bonding experience.
We always had stuff to talkabout.
I can totally relate toeverything they were saying.
(33:27):
And then people with not foodallergies, they would talk about
classroom parties and food and,for example, and I'd be like,
Gosh, bite your tongue, biteyour tongue.
I know a person in that classwith an allergy and you're
talking about having X, Y, andZ.
(33:48):
It's just different.
It's not on their radar, butit's like constantly on my radar
with my friends, whether theyhave food allergies or not, so
that's, it's a lot different inthat aspect.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (34:01):
Yeah, I think for me, the way I would
describe what you're sharing,it's like we have this lens that
gets put on and before we do, wedidn't realize how everyone
everywhere is obsessed with foodand talks about food and food is
just so central and part ofeverything.
And it's just normal foreverybody, but obviously it
becomes so different for us.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (34:21):
Oh, yes, people would say, Oh, my child's
childhood is going to get ruinedif they can't have that cookie
to decorate for the holidayparty.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (34:31):
They won't feel special on their
birthday.
I'm so glad we're
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (34:34):
not there anymore.
But yeah, yes.
That's tough.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (34:39):
Do you think you've seen a change in
that over the years in terms ofpeople outside of the allergy
community, maybe understandingit better or having any shift in
attitudes toward us?
I do feel
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (34:52):
like there was a time, when the CD see
first released guidelines forschools, I did see a big shift,
in parties and stuff, and I dostill think it's better now,
Valentine's Day and things likethat, but now that I have, a
daughter, she's in elementaryand fourth grade, no food
(35:12):
allergies, It's, it's differentfor me to sit back and see how
much food is at the parties.
It's just not on their radarlike it was with me.
So, sometimes I'm like, I feellike this is slipping back.
But I do think it has improvedquite a bit.
(35:33):
since my son was in school, Ifeel like people are more
compassionate towards it.
But I do still have food at theparties all the time.
Do
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (35:44):
you think that slipping back is just not
having you or a parent like youin there advocating and kind of
pushing?
Yeah, maybe that's
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (35:50):
what it is.
Yeah, maybe that's what it is.
Um, I'm not pushing andadvocating for it.
And I was always the party momwhen my.
And I was like, we can't dothis.
We can't have that.
so and so can't have this.
I would be advocating for otherpeople, not just my son, when
they were in the class with him.
(36:10):
And now I purposely try to, takea step back in that area.
when.
My daughter doesn't have anyfood allergies, but yeah, it can
be hard sometimes when I hear,Oh, well, that person has an
allergy, but yet there's stillall this food.
And of course my heart is like,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (36:29):
Oh, Yeah, you think almost it would be,
Oh, it's going to be so lessstressful going through with
this kiddo without the foodallergies, but it's a different
way.
Right.
In terms of, you can't unknowwhat you know, and what you, you
know, I was trained to noticenow.
Yes, yes, for sure.
what direction do you see the,the forum and the groups going
(36:50):
in?
social media is changing a lotand, I think the nature of kind
of groups like that areshifting.
Do you, have you thought aboutthat or is it?
Something you see changing.
You know,
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (37:00):
sometimes I sit and think, how long will I
be able to do, do this?
And I did stop doing thecommunity events, so that's been
like a huge weight off myshoulders.
I generally enjoy posting newsand food allergy information on
(37:20):
the The community Facebook page,not the forum but the community
Facebook page.
I don't seem like ever stoppingdoing that.
I feel like that's reallyimportant.
the forum, I feel like it's sopopular.
I don't see that going anywhere.
Now the local groups, I'm notsure how long the local groups
(37:41):
will last.
I mean, we still have over ahundred, but it really depends
on the group leader.
and what they want to make ofeach group, but I don't see it
going away anytime soon.
Honestly, I feel like everybodyreally needs it still.
And it's just, it's alwaysconstantly active, always
active.
So I don't really see it goinganywhere anytime soon.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (38:04):
Good.
I hope not.
I mean, so many of us, it'slike, it's our first lifeline.
It's, I mean, I know because itwas for me, I remember, um,
someone in the group, you know,when I posted and I was new
saying.
You know, welcome to the clubthat you never wanted to be a
part of, and even though it wasawful and I didn't want to be a
part of the club, I was like,okay, but thank you for, putting
your arm around my shoulders,and it's, for so many of us,
(38:25):
it's just the first, place wefeel understood and seen in this
experience.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (38:31):
Yes, it's awesome and Facebook has been
great as far as, being able toreach a ton of people.
Dr. Amanda Whitehou (38:38):
Definitely.
You mentioned how much you enjoysharing the information and the
news.
I'm curious if you have favoriteresources where you like to look
for information that peoplemight also want to follow or
subscribe to.
Where do you go?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (38:52):
So, Allergic Living Magazine is my favorite.
And then FACT, AnaphylaxisConnection Team.
Allergic Girl, Allergy Travels.
I love the Nut Free Walk.
She has like.
Tons of great resources.
I love Red Sneakers for Oakley,Elijah's Hope.
(39:17):
I mean, there's so, there's somany.
Oh my gosh, I feel bad.
I know I'm missing a lot.
But if you go on our website, Ihave like a list of like
resources
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (39:27):
Perfect.
I'll make sure I, I share thelink to it in the notes from the
show.
and you mentioned FACT andyou're involved with them.
Do you want to say a little bitabout that?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (39:36):
Yes, so I am, in charge of support group
development, and I don't, do asmuch as I did in the beginning,
but if someone wants to start asupport group in their
community, I am also there tohelp, as well as, to support
them.
And then, for example, ifsomeone reached out to me for an
(39:58):
NMG group in their area, I canask them if they want to become
a fact recognized support group.
And then I would add them toFACT and get them started.
And that would be for anygroups, wherever.
Whoever wants to start a group,I would help them become a fact
recognized support group.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (40:16):
Perfect.
I think there is a nice balance,that, that huge resource and
wealth of information in the biggroups and the forum and what
you share, on the communitypage, but then also having that
local connection both bringsomething different to the table
in terms of what we're needing.
Yeah, yes, definitely., whathopes do you have for the future
(40:37):
of the allergy community and theallergy world?
Are there things that you see onthe horizon or are there
directions you see things goingthat you think are going to be
big for us?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (40:47):
I feel like there's so many big things out
there right now going on.
I know U of M was doing a greatstudy that hasn't been put in
trials yet, but that lookedfascinating.
I forget exactly the details,but it looked so cool.
And then there's so many otherexciting treatments out there.
(41:08):
I mean, you hear abouttoothpaste, desensitizing the
neffy now, I haven't gotten myson the neffy yet, but I'm, I
have a script for it.
I'm getting ready to fill that.
obviously I would love a curefor food allergies.
I would like it to be easier.
the OIT thing, it's not for us,like I said.
but something a little easierfor families where you don't
(41:30):
have to ingest daily.
Something, that you're allergicto.
so I, I am very hopeful.
I feel like there's a lot ofthings out there on the horizon.
So I'm just, I'm very hopeful itcontinues.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (41:44):
I think it will.
I feel like we're building, notwe, I can't take credit for it,
but there is momentum buildingin terms of, of ideas and
solutions and, you know,thinking back to, like you said,
when, when OIT was socontroversial in the group, now
there's like 15 things and asyou said, it's not as
controversial, but our mindshave had to be open because
there's all these new ideas andsome of them available now.
(42:06):
Yes.
Yes.
We talked a little bit about thestrength of our relationships
and the communication with thekids.
But is there anything else thatyou can remind us is a positive
or an added bonus of foodallergies?
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (42:21):
Um, compassion.
I feel like it has made me morecompassionate towards Other
people cause you don't know whatpeople are going through.
And I, I do feel like it hasmade my entire family more
compassionate to other people,not just people with food
allergies, but just people goingthrough all kinds of struggles
(42:44):
in their lives.
So I do feel like that's beenthe blessing.
I just feel like it's made memore of a compassionate person
to others.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (42:52):
I agree.
I see that too.
Tell everybody if they happen tobe listening and yet not a part
of NNMG, tell us how to find thegroup.
Okay.
So, if you
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (43:03):
are looking for a support group in your
area, you can find us on FACT'swebsite, the Food Allergy and
Anaphylaxis Connection Team.
They have, find support group,and we're also on FAIR's website
as well.
And then you can also justsimply Google our name, NNMG
Food Allergic Families.
(43:23):
It'll pop up.
Our website, It's real easy tofind if you Google and then we
have all the local groups onthere and Facebook, too.
You can also enter it inFacebook and it'll pop up.
It's a very popular group.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:39):
It's a big crew.
Um, I'll be sure to put thelinks in there, too, to make it
easy for people to find it.
And I want to thank you because,like I said, it really was truly
the, the beginning of a lifelinefor me when I felt like I was
drowning and lost.
So it means a lot to me to beable to meet you and, and ask
you all this stuff.
Lisa Rutter, NNMG (43:58):
Thank you.
Here are your three action stepsthat you can take after
listening today.
Number one, if you're notalready a member search for NNMG
Food Allergic Families, you willfind their website You'll find
the group easily on Facebook andon Instagram, so you can choose
one or all formats that work foryou if you don't already belong
(44:19):
to the group.
Number two.
After listening to Lisa and Ichat about moving through the
stages of allergy management,take a moment to reflect on the
stage that you're in right now.
If this is new to you and you'restill adjusting, if you've
already been through a fewrounds of ups and downs, reflect
on what you've learned.
What's harder or easier rightnow relative to other phases of
(44:42):
the journey?
And give yourself a little bitof credit for all that you're
navigating and have navigated inthe past.
Number three, you can take thatperspective and mindset and use
it to connect with someone.
Today I was able to thank theperson who created a lifeline
for me when I was the mother ofa newly diagnosed child and I
(45:02):
was scared and I felt reallyalone, and that was a great
feeling for me.
So in whatever way you're ableto think of who helped you and
maybe take a moment to thankthem for being there for you
when you needed them the most.
So once again to Lisa Rudder,thank you for creating that for
me and for helping so many otherfamilies who've been in our
shoes.
(45:23):
the content of this podcast isfor informational and
educational purposes only, andis not a substitute for
professional medical or mentalhealth advice, diagnosis, or
treatment.
If you have any questions aboutyour own medical experience or
mental health needs, pleaseconsult a professional.
I'm Dr.
Amanda White house.
Thanks for joining me.
And until we chat again,remember don't feed the fear.
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