February 1, 2025 • 34 mins
Dr. Whitehouse explores therapy as a helpful resource for those navigating the emotional and psychological challenges of living with food allergies. She offers practical guidance on how to know if you can benefit from therapy, how to find and choose a therapist who understands food allergies, and how to determine whether a therapist is the right fit for your needs. Whether you're a parent seeking support for a child or an adult managing your own food allergy anxiety, this episode will help you decide if therapy could be a valuable tool in your journey.
Tune in for expert insights on prioritizing your mental health while navigating food allergies.
3 Action Steps:
1. Ask your allergist, local allergy support group, or insurance company for a list of potential therapists. Get your free printable list of questions to ask a potential therapist here: https://www.thefoodallergypsychologist.com/digital-resources/freebiechoosingatherapist
2. If you already have a therapist you like, be open and honest with them about what might help you better
3. Check out my Allergy Empowerment 6-week online group for adults with food allergies and parents of kids with food allergies here: https://www.thefoodallergypsychologist.com/online-courses/foodallergyanxietygroup
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Some reasons to consider therapy:
1. Persistent fear/worry
2. Difficulty managing emotions
3. Avoiding social situations/isolating yourself
4. Struggles with communication/self-advocacy
5. Strong sense of guilt/blame
6. Physical anxiety symptoms
7. Unnecessary/repetitive label checking/washing/verifying food safety
8. Sleep difficulties
9. Replaying traumatic events
10. Your thoughts or feelings about food allergies negatively impact your life in a way that you’d like to change
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Types of therapists/licenses
1. Master’s-Level Clinicians:
Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC, LPCC, LMHC, LCPC)
Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW, LICSW, LMSW, LSCSW)
Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT, LCMFT)
2. Doctoral-Level Clinicians
Psychologists (PhD, PsyD)
3. Medical Professionals Who Prescribe Medication
Psychiatrists (MD, DO)
Psychiatric Nurse Practitioners (PMHNP-BC, APRN)
Special thanks to Kyle Dine for permission to use his song The Doghouse for the podcast theme!
www.kyledine.com
Find Dr. Whitehouse:
-thefoodallergypsychologist.com
-Instagram: @thefoodallergypsychologist
-Facebook: Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, Food Allergy Anxiety Psychologist
-welcome@dramandawhitehouse.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:00):
Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we
dive into the complex world offood allergy anxiety.
I'm your host, Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse, food allergyanxiety psychologist and food
allergy mom.
Whether you're dealing withallergies yourself or supporting
someone who is, join us for anempathetic and informative
journey toward food allergy calmand confidence..
dr--amanda-whitehouse_1 (00:22):
Welcome back to Don't Feed the Fear.
I hope you're having a safe andhealthy start to your new year
and got some much needed restover the holidays, just like me.
I took some time to think aboutthe podcast so far and to
appreciate the support so manyof you have given me while I
took on this One one of myfavorite moments was a day that
I sat down to look through allof the locations that you're
(00:44):
listening in from, and I wasshocked to see that you are
tuning in from every U S state.
Except so far, Alaska andHawaii, dozens of different
countries and every continentexcept Africa.
So my official goal for 2025 isto log some listeners in those
places.
Please share.
If you happen to know someoneliving in Alaska or Hawaii or
(01:05):
anywhere on the continent ofAfrica, who might want to give
the show a listen.
To be talking about our supportsystems.
I'm going to help you thinkthrough how to consciously build
a support team around you tohelp you feel less alone while
walking this path.
Food allergies can be soisolating.
(01:27):
Sometimes I work on raisingawareness and fighting back
against that.
This season though, I'm going totalk about how sometimes we
isolate ourselves unnecessarilyand why we do so.
Maybe we think other peoplewon't understand or will be
annoyed with us.
Maybe we are conflict avoidantor have a strong need for
control and just want to doeverything ourselves and not ask
(01:47):
for help.
Maybe we have asked for help andhave been hurt or let down by
the people we reached out to, oreven by the experts and
providers who we were supposedto be able to put our trust and
safety in.
I want to help you think abouthow you can break down these
barriers and find the people whowant to help you and have
valuable support that they'rewilling to share with you.
(02:07):
I want to help you seek andnurture a community around
yourself.
Each episode this season, we'lltalk about one important role or
relationship that you mightneed, or you might want to
nurture, or you might want toconsider adding to your team.
We'll start here in our firstepisode with me, your friendly
food allergy therapist.
(02:28):
I'm going to share a little bitmore about my perspective on
this work.
Transcribed how to know if itmight be time for you to find a
therapist who can help youmanage your personal challenges
more effectively, how to findsomeone, and then how to
determine if they're a good fitfor you.
I'll start with a littleexercise that I like to call my
imaginary circle.
(02:49):
This is a little strategy that Ihave used since shortly after I
became a mother, where Iimagined the absolutely perfect
circle of People who love andsupport me, surrounding me, and
who would comprise that group ofpeople if I could choose
absolutely anyone I wanted.
I'm lucky that many of those areactually people from my real
(03:10):
life.
Some are people I'll never meet.
Some of these people havechanged throughout the years and
some will remain on my listforever.
And when I'm in a dark spot andreally needing help, I can close
my eyes and feel them around meas a cohesive unit, a team,
supporting me with their wordsand their actions, whether from
my own memory or things I'veread or seen.
(03:31):
When I'm struggling withsomething in particular, I can
imagine which one of thosepeople in that moment is the one
that I would reach out to and ifit's someone that I can't
actually reach out to, I canenvision and imagine what that
person would say, what I'veheard them or read or, or seen
them do or say about that topicthat might be helpful to me.
(03:52):
So some of the people on my listwho are real people are friends
that I've been lucky to havesince as young as elementary
school.
None of them have children withfood allergies.
Or food allergies themselves,but they let me show up messy
and stressed and they listen andthey're always there for me.
Some of the people on the listare loved ones who have died,
whose voices and support andlove I can still hear and feel
(04:13):
when I quiet my mind.
And also eternally on my listare my favorite authors, Barbara
Kingsolver and Brene Brown, whoin very different ways remind me
of my humanity each time I readtheir words.
Think for a bit about who'salready in your circle, who you
would add to it if you could.
And who you might actually beable to add to it in real life.
(04:35):
This is like that game, who youwould invite to dinner, but
instead of stimulatingconversations or mysteries and
burning questions that you wouldlove to hear the answers to
anyone you choose is someone whocan help you to foster your own
strength and resilience andwellness.
You can choose as many people asyou like and no matter what
combination of people you pick,they'll get along and they'll
(04:55):
focus on helping you.
So for each episode of thiswinter season, as we discuss
different roles to fill in yourlife, consider your imaginary
circle.
Who is it missing?
If you could have your dreamdoctor, the most amazing friend,
the best neighbor to live nextdoor and call in a pinch, who
would it be?
At first, don't restrictyourself with being logical or
(05:18):
realistic.
Just see where your mind wandersto and who you would choose.
It'll usually show up somethingin the form of, Gosh, it would
be so nice if I could callblank.
Or if there was someone whoblank.
And whoever that is will giveyou a clue of what you're
needing in real life, what'sreally important to you, and
maybe help you down the path offinding a person who can
(05:39):
actually meet that need.
Managing food allergies createsa scarcity mindset, or a way of
thinking that leads us tobelieve that we have to take
what we can get, whatever's outthere.
Our choices are limited.
We have to make the most of whatwe've got.
Unfortunately, this is sometimestrue.
But it isn't always true.
So if we approach everything inthis way, we're likely to miss
(06:00):
an opportunity or something thatmight be a better fit or
something that we never thoughtwe could have that's actually
available to us or that we cancreate ourselves.
I have found that this isabsolutely true about seeing a
therapist for food allergyanxiety and trauma.
It doesn't have to be limited towhat you might do.
I'm be like, or what you'dexpect in a therapist's office.
(06:22):
A lot of people assume therearen't people out there who can
help them because nobodyunderstands, and I understand
that that's rooted in genuineexperiences of having many
people not understand.
Unfortunately, many people thatI've worked with have actually
had bad experiences withtherapists.
with a therapist who usingtraditional therapy methods that
aren't quite the right fit forthis type of a problem, have
(06:43):
tried to challenge or talkpeople out of worries that are
actually a genuine safetyconcern and not a thinking error
or a cognitive pattern thatneeds to be changed.
but overall, I have found thatmost people's expectations of
therapy in general are way off.
They think that you share allyour problems with the therapist
who gives you some great adviceand it helps you solve your
(07:04):
problems.
Research shows that the biggestfactor in the power of therapy
to help you heal is thetherapeutic relationship you
develop with your therapist.
Your trust and safety in thespace you create together.
So what really is most importantis actually for you to have
someone you feel comfortablewith and who creates a sense of
safety around discussing yourdifficult stuff.
(07:27):
The rest can be learned by atherapist who truly listens and
is catering their approach toyou and your needs.
It's not all or nothing in termsof your food allergies, the idea
of therapy, and whether or not atherapist can help you.
So what I mean by this is peoplecoming into my office with
stress and anxiety around theirfood allergies usually address
(07:47):
it one of two ways.
They think the only problem istheir food allergies, Or they
don't think that their foodallergies are a problem, it's
just the other things that theyneed to work on.
In both cases, what's usuallytrue is that the bad experience
and anxiety from the foodallergies are part of a bigger
problem.
They might be the root of abigger problem, having created
(08:08):
anxiety and nervous systemdysregulation, and then that
creates a pattern of unhelpfulcoping skill patterns that the
person has developed.
So how do you know if it's timeto give it a try and seek out
some help from a therapist?
If you are living in persistentfear about having an allergic
reaction, if you constantlyworry about your safety, or your
(08:31):
child's safety, or your child isconstantly worried about their
own safety, even in situationsthat are generally low risk,
therapy can help you reduce thatanxiety.
If you're having difficultymanaging your emotions related
to food allergies, if feelingsof fear, guilt, frustration
about food allergies feeloverwhelming or uncontrollable,
(08:53):
then therapy can give you toolsto process and regulate your
emotions.
If you are avoiding socialsituations and isolating
yourself, if you don't go togatherings, restaurants, or
other events due only to fear ofexposure to allergens, therapy
can help build confidence andcoping skills.
(09:17):
If you're struggling withschool, or caregiver
communication, struggling withcommunication with your employer
about what your needs are.
If advocating for yourself orfor your child's food allergies
in any way in any environmentcauses significant stress or
conflict for you, then you canwork with a therapist to learn
more effective ways tocommunicate and set boundaries
(09:39):
and practice those in a safesetting so that you can beef up
that skill.
If you are a food allergyparent, And you feel an
overwhelming sense of guilt orblame yourself for the child's
food allergies then therapy canhelp you process these feelings
to learn some self compassionand to shift to a healthier
(10:01):
mindset.
If you experience physicalsymptoms of anxiety, like
stomach aches, headaches, aracing heart when you're
thinking about food allergies,or the chance that you might be
having a reaction, panicattacks, breathing difficulties,
if you live in that confusingspace all the time of, is this
(10:22):
anxiety or an allergic reaction,then your nervous system is
probably imbalanced anddysregulated, and therapy can
help you to retrain your nervoussystem to not be so reactive.
If you find yourself repeatedlychecking labels, sanitizing,
washing your hands, if you aremore than necessary questioning
(10:47):
others about, Food safety if youfind that it's problematic for
you in your life, then therapycan help you find a balance
between caution and Calm.
If you have trouble fallingasleep, if you are up late at
night worrying about foodallergies, if you're having
nightmares about reactions oryou wake up due to worry and you
(11:08):
can't fall asleep, you lay thereawake during the night, therapy
can give you tools for managingnighttime anxiety.
If you find yourself replayingtraumatic events.
Past allergic reactions replayin your mind and lead to
flashbacks or heightened stress.
If a similar situation to a pastexperience triggers a memory or
(11:32):
visual of the experience ortriggers a physiological
response in your body, even ifyou're not thinking about it or
seeing it in your mind, thentherapy can help you release
that trauma from the body andprocess what happened to you.
And just in general, in any way,if you find that If your food
allergies are impacting thequality of your life in a way
that you do not want them to be,you have the right to find help
(11:54):
and support.
If it's interfering with yourability to enjoy life, to
connect with others, to takecare of yourself, to participate
in things that you'd like to beinvolved with, to do things that
you want to experience, therapyis a really great safe place to
find and create a path that isright for you, that balances
what you need to create safetyin your life.
(12:14):
with what you want to achieveand accomplish and experience in
your life.
Seeking therapy for your foodallergy, anxiety, or trauma is a
proactive step towards managingyour fears, improving your well
being, fostering a safer andmore confident approach to life
with food allergies.
It isn't a question of whetheryou need a therapist, but a
question of whether you couldbenefit from one.
(12:35):
Would it be helpful for you?
Would it potentially?
Make your life better.
Even if you can manage alone,you might be able to be more at
ease, more engaged, moreavailable to the people and in
the relationships in your lifeare more present with the people
you love.
If you had some support fromsomeone who knows how to help
people achieve that.
(12:55):
So if you think you couldbenefit from working with a
therapist,, I want toacknowledge to you that reaching
out for therapy is a really bigstep.
It is not easy for us to ask forhelp, especially when anxiety
makes you second guess yourselfand where we live in a society
that kind of challenges andquestions us at every turn about
(13:15):
our allergies and if we reallyneed this and if that's really a
risk and are we overreacting andin a society that isn't always
the most positive about peopleseeking help, we applaud
resilience and independence andachievement.
And even though there's moretalk about mental health and
wellness these days, there stillcan often be a cloud of judgment
(13:40):
or shame or guilt about needingtherapy about, do I have a
mental illness about taking thetime and the money away from all
of our other obligations to seekout therapy.
So a lot of people who are inthis boat talk themselves out of
it.
They sit around wondering thingslike, Do I really need it?
Is my anxiety that bad?
(14:00):
Will the therapist evenunderstand what I'm going
through?
Or will they just question itlike everybody else does?
So if you're listening to metalk about this and you're
having those doubts, please knowthat they're normal.
Especially if you have allergiesor if you're managing a child's
allergies and you're alreadyused to just taking care of
everything else on your own.
But therapy isn't just for whenthings are unbearable, it is
(14:22):
also for learning new skills,processing past experience,
creating more ease in your life,and being healthier.
Many people, even if they decideto reach out, then they get
overwhelmed with knowing whereto start or how do I look for a
therapist.
My first suggestion is to askyour allergist if they know any
local therapists who specializein working with people with food
allergies.
(14:42):
If there are, your allergist isprobably already familiar with
them and their work might beable to tell you a little bit
about them and how to reachthem.
And that's a great prescreeningprocess for you.
Similarly, if you have a localfood allergy group, we have one
here in Buffalo.
We have a Facebook group.
It's super easy to reach out tothe people in the group and ask
(15:02):
Who people have worked with, whodo they see?
For most people, a personalrecommendation is really first
and foremost.
But if you can't get one,probably the next important
factor is finding someone whocan accept your health insurance
to cover your sessions.
So the next step would be tocall your insurance company's
customer service line or loginto your online portal for your
(15:22):
health insurance program and doa provider search.
There are usually options youcan select, like in person or
telehealth, what theirspecialties are, what ages.
populations they work with,whether they're accepting new
clients and specifics aboutthem, like their degree or their
type of license that they have.
So this is another point where alot of people get really
confused and overwhelmed.
(15:44):
I don't want to lose you here.
So, there are so many differenttypes of therapy degrees and
licenses here in the U.
S.
and I don't even know and can'tcomment about those in other
countries.
But I'm going to try my best tohelp you make sense of all those
letters after people's names andnarrow down what might be the
best fit for you and what you'relooking for.
Each specific credentialrepresents a different type of
(16:04):
training, education, andapproach to therapy.
So I'm going to break it downfor you and talk about what each
of these professionals can bringto the therapy room.
The first broader category aremaster's level clinicians.
So anyone who is.
licensed as some type of atherapist or a counselor will
(16:25):
have at least a master's degreebeyond their undergraduate
degree in counseling, socialwork, or marriage and family
therapy.
There are a handful of differentlicensed professional
counselors.
The letters that follow theirnames could be LPC, LPCC, LMHC,
or LCPC.
(16:46):
All of those people will have amaster's degree in a field
related to counseling.
Their training focus is ongeneral mental health
counseling, general therapytechniques, and sometimes
specific specialties like traumaor anxiety or family systems.
generally speaking, they willfocus on practical tools and
coping skills to help you withwhatever the concern is.
(17:08):
A lot of times, licensedprofessional counselors will
focus on, more of a short termor solution focused therapy to
address a problem that's athand.
The next category within themaster's level practitioners are
licensed clinical socialworkers, LCSW.
Sometimes it's LICSW, LMSW,LSCSW, These providers all have
(17:32):
a master's in social work, sotheir training focus is on
mental health therapy with astrong emphasis on systems,
social justice, advocacy, theirtraining focus is Is more on
mental health therapy often witha strong emphasis on systems,
social justice advocacy, thestrengths of working with a
(17:53):
licensed clinical social workeris that they are able more
likely to be trained in therapytechniques and also social and
environmental factors that areaffecting mental health, kind of
a bigger picture, zoom out kindof perspective.
They will often have moreexperience and training and
crisis intervention and intrauma informed approaches.
(18:14):
Next is a marriage and familytherapist, which might have the
title LMFT or LCMFT.
These are people who have amaster's in marriage and family
therapy.
So of course, their trainingfocuses in relationships.
family systems, communicationpatterns.
You can also find them inprivate practices, family
therapy clinics, sometimesschools, and often in community
(18:35):
mental health.
And of course, they specializein how relationships impact
mental health and in workingwith couples, families, or
individuals who are exploringrelationship dynamics.
So these providers might oftenfocus more on attachment, on
conflict resolution, and oncommunication skills.
The next category of educationis a doctoral level clinician.
(18:59):
So some people go beyond amaster's degree to earn a
doctorate in psychology.
That's what my degree is.
We receive additional years oftraining and assessment
diagnosis and research.
There's various different typesof psychologists, clinical,
counseling psychologists, but iftheir title is psychologist and
they have a Ph.
D.
after their name, that meansthat they earned, a doctorate in
(19:20):
a program that required them towrite a dissertation, which is
when you write basically a bookand you do your own research.
Research project, you pick atopic and you deep dive into it
and generate your own researchon that topic.
You might also see side or PSYDafter a psychologist name.
(19:40):
They're also doctoral level.
The same length of training interms of their education.
It's not always the case, butoften the side programs don't
require someone to write adissertation.
Doctoral level.
Psychologists have more trainingand experience and diagnosing
mental health conditions morecomprehensively.
They might also be able to offermore testing.
(20:02):
And certain types of testingthat other providers can't give.
Doctoral level clinicians cansometimes be a better fit for
more complex diagnoses, for moresignificant problems, or complex
comorbid disorders.
And in some cases, they're abetter fit for deeper
therapeutic work.
So those are the psychologistswho people often confuse with
(20:25):
the term psychiatrist.
Psychiatrists are medicalprofessionals who can also
provide therapy or prescribedmedication.
So, If you are seeing a doctorwho prescribes medication, they
are likely a psychiatrist withan MD, a medical doctor, or a
DO, a doctor of osteopathy aftertheir name.
(20:46):
Their training focuses in thediagnosis and treatment of
health conditions with aconcentration in
psychopharmacology or themedications that treat mental
health conditions.
Some provide therapy, but mostare focused on medication
management.
Other people who might also bedoing that are psychiatric nurse
practitioners or NPs and theyhave an advanced practice
(21:10):
nursing degree with aspecialization in psychiatry and
in medication management.
So again, they often focus onprescribing medication.
I always recommend that ifyou're interested in medication
that you do that in combinationwith ongoing therapy with a
therapist who can do deeper workwith you as well.
So what type of therapist isright for you?
(21:30):
Sometimes you can narrow downwhat you're looking for in your
search so you don't getoverwhelmed with all those
titles.
Ultimately, remember,credentials are important, but
the most important thing is theconnection that you feel with
your therapist.
No matter what their degree is,a therapist should make you feel
heard, respected, and safe.
So once you have an idea whattype of providers you're going
to include in your search, youcan start narrowing down that
(21:52):
list you got from your healthinsurance, and you can find a
therapist that would be rightfor you.
When you're looking, it'simportant to find someone who
understands that anxiety isn'tjust about your thoughts.
It's very deeply connected toyour body and your nervous
system, as I emphasizeconstantly here on the podcast.
Food allergy anxiety isdifferent from other types of
(22:12):
anxiety, because oftentimes whenpeople are anxious about
something, it is an imagined, oran exaggerated or a very, very
unlikely fear or a worst casescenario.
When we're dealing with foodallergy anxiety, number one, the
danger is real.
Your brain and your body aren'toverreacting, they're trying to
keep you alive, and the stepsthat you need to take and be
(22:34):
careful of are things that youactually have to do to stay
safe.
And when allergies are involved,the nervous system has been
impacted in a way that someother people haven't And the
constant stress of scanning forallergies, your nervous system
is much more likely to be stuckin a state of hypervigilance and
need more than just copingskills and thinking pattern
(22:56):
shifts in order to help youreduce the anxiety.
So because of all this, it'sreally helpful to look for a
therapist who specializes inanxiety disorders so they
understand how anxiety works atthe physiological level and how
to address that.
A therapist who specializes intrauma or PTSD, because even if
you don't think of yourexperiences as trauma, food
(23:17):
allergy related events can betraumatic and the nervous system
experiences them that way.
Particularly helpful is atherapist who specializes in
somatic or nervous system basedapproaches, like those I talk
about here on the show.
If providers are telling youthat they offer things like
polyvagal approaches.
Polyvagal theory is how weunderstand the role of the vagus
(23:40):
nerve and how it regulates thenervous system and triggers and
regulates the anxiety response.
EMDR, many people have heard of.
That's eye movementdesensitization and
reprocessing.
This is something that can helpreprocess traumatic memories.
I'm not saying that it's foreveryone, and everyone with food
allergy anxiety should use EMDR,but it can be a good tool, and
(24:01):
it's an indication that theprovider understands more than
the average person about howyour nervous system works.
Somatic experiencing, which arestrategies to help release
stored fear, tension, and traumafrom the body physically.
And mindfulness basedapproaches, which help you tune
into your body and emotions in asafe way.
They connect you more closely toyour body and the signs and the
(24:24):
responses is giving you.
So you've got your list, you'vekind of considered those
different fields and what you'relooking for and which type of
practitioner and license will bethe right fit for you.
Now you can start finding theirwebsites and looking for this
type of terminology in theirdescriptions of the type of work
that they do.
(24:45):
Hopefully some people might bejumping out at you that you
think would be a good fit.
So then you start calling, yousee who's taking new clients,
and you hopefully make anappointment with someone.
Once you make an appointment,and now here you are sitting in
someone's office, you'll, wantto look for whether they
understand anxiety and thenervous system.
(25:05):
A good therapist for this typeof problem won't just tell you
to challenge your thoughts orthink positively or respond with
optimistic responses when youtalk about how difficult things
are for you.
Cognitive work, which addressesyour thinking, is valuable, but
it's not enough when yournervous system is stuck in
survival mode.
So listen for things like, dothey talk about anxiety as
(25:27):
something that lives in thebody, not just the mind?
Do they address the physicalresponses in your body, not just
ask about your thoughts?
Do they acknowledge how yourpast experiences, like your
allergic reactions, shapecurrent fear responses?
And do they offer tools toregulate your nervous system?
Are they experienced in teachingand leading you in breath work
(25:48):
and grounding and body basedtechniques?
If the therapist minimizes theseverity of your anxiety, If
they question the stepsnecessary to manage your
allergies safely, if theysuggest that you are
overreacting in direct or evenin polite and gentle terms,
that's a red flag.
Especially as you're building arelationship, your new therapist
(26:08):
should be invested in making youfeel heard and validated,
developing trust with you,making you feel safe.
Gathering all the informationthat they need to support you
and understanding where you'reat so that they can help you
address your anxiety.
And finally, recognizing thatyou know more than they do about
your allergies.
Even if it's someone who has alot of experience, whether it's
(26:31):
professionally or personally,they should acknowledge and
recognize that you are theexpert on what you have
experienced and what's true foryour body.
do they listen to you andvalidate your experience?
Therapy isn't just aboutstrategies, it's about feeling
heard and understood andconnecting with the person that
you're in the room with.
So pay attention right from thebeginning to whether they listen
(26:53):
to you without interrupting orrushing to offer you advice.
Do they seem curious and open?
Do they ask questions to clarifyand reflect it back to you to
confirm that they understood youcorrectly?
Or do they just make assumptionsabout your experience?
Ultimately, you should leavefeeling heard, not dismissed.
Pay attention to how you feel inthe room or on the screen with
(27:15):
this person.
Your body's response reallymatters.
Do your best during these earlysessions, during the session and
then after the session to checkin with yourself and notice.
Do I feel even slightly more atease when I'm with this person
or after I speak with them?
Do I feel safe enough to shareopenly with them when I'm
talking to them?
(27:36):
Do I notice myself shutting downor feeling more anxious than
when I started?
It's really normal to feelvulnerable when you go to
therapy, but you should neverfeel judged, dismissed,
pressured.
So you can briefly scan yourbody from the top to the bottom
for indicators of eitherdiscomfort and guardedness or
openness and ease.
Do you have tension in your headand your neck?
(27:57):
Is your jaw clenched?
Are your eyes kind of squintedand overly focused?
What's your posture like?
Are you leaning in?
Are you open?
Or are you pulling away andclosed off?
What's your heart rate like?
Does it pick up or does itsettle in?
Same with your breathing.
Do you feel discomfort in yourstomach or do you feel relaxed?
Is your energy fidgety or is itcalm?
(28:20):
Do you feel exhausted after asession or do you feel energized
and motivated?
Pay close attention to thosethings.
Your body will give you theclues.
Even if you feel indecisive inyour mind, but remember that
therapy brings up discomfortbecause we're talking about our
most Uncomfortable and scarythings.
So that's not always a badthing.
(28:41):
Growth can often feeluncomfortable.
It's tough to tell thedifference between the
discomfort of doing hardemotional work and the
vulnerability of opening up to anew therapist and a new person,
and the feeling that thetherapist isn't right for you.
So, some things that you can askyourself to help you distinguish
are number one, is thediscomfort because I'm talking
about something vulnerable.
(29:02):
If it's the words that you'resaying that are making you feel
vulnerable, if it's rememberingand explaining the things that
have happened to you, then thatmight be the normal part of
therapy and vulnerability oftalking about hard things, but a
good therapist will patientlyhelp you work through it.
They will also recognize thosesymptoms, even if you're not
able to express it, and theywill work around it and
(29:22):
acknowledge that in the pace ofthe conversation.
Or is your gut telling me thatthis person isn't a good fit?
If you feel dismissed andmisunderstood, like you're not
truly being listened to, if theyseem judgmental, they don't
respect your lived experience.
if the feeling of resistance inyou feels like it's directed at
the person that you'reinteracting with and not just
(29:44):
the general idea of therapy orthe room that you're going to
sit in or sitting down to thecomputer for your appointment,
if it feels more specific aboutthe person.
You don't have to continue.
Sometimes people hesitate toswitch therapists because they
feel guilty.
They don't want to start over,but therapy is an investment in
your wellbeing.
So if someone isn't the rightfit for you, it's okay to keep
(30:05):
looking, keep asking questionsand keep working until you find
the right person for yoursupport system.
Ultimately finding the righttherapist is a process that can
be difficult.
It's okay if it takes time, youdon't have to commit to the
first therapist you meet and youdon't have to walk away just
because it feels uncomfortableat first.
At the end of the day, the goalof therapy isn't just to fix
(30:26):
your anxiety, it's to help youfeel and be safer in your body
and in your life.
It's about learning how to livewith your food allergies, or
your child's food allergies, ina way that doesn't take over
your world.
So with the right therapist, youdon't have to do that alone.
So that's a lot of informationI've thrown at you today, but I
hope it's helpful in navigatingwhat can be a really difficult
(30:46):
process.
I know a lot of people have thisidea, I could find a therapist,
but they just don't exist.
Don't know where to start and sothey don't put it on the list or
they don't get it done.
I hope this is enough to helpyou navigate that if you think
it's something that's right foryou.
So the three things that you cando to take action on what I've
shared with you today.
Number one, if you don't have atherapist and you think you
(31:08):
could benefit from working withone, just ask your allergist,
ask your local allergy supportgroup, or get a list of
providers from your insurancecompany.
And then you can start browsingtheir websites or call and have
a chat with them.
Chances are you feel like it'llbe stressful, but you'll
actually have the oppositeexperience and feel relief and
excitement at the possibility ofcreating a space that's just for
(31:29):
your own thoughts, feelings,worries, and stressors.
If you'd like some supportremembering and incorporating
what I shared with you todayinto your search, Thank you Go
to my website or click the linkin the show notes.
I've created a free printablelist of questions that you can
ask potential new therapists tohelp find the right therapist
for you.
(31:50):
Number two, if you already havea therapist that you're working
with that you really like, andyou think your relationship
could be even better if theyunderstood some of what we talk
about here on Don't Feed theFear, I encourage you to have an
open conversation with them.
Clients are often afraid to behonest with us about what isn't
working or what they want to dodifferently, or what could help
them better.
Good therapists will be open tothat feedback.
(32:12):
And we want to know, because wewant to do the best work with
you.
And the better we understandyour needs, the better we can do
that.
So please share your thoughts,share articles or resources you
love with your therapist.
I do offer consultationservices.
So if you have a greattherapist, The relationship is
right for you, but you do feellike they could use some more
(32:33):
skills and understandingspecific to the food allergy
piece.
Then I'm available to talk withyou And your therapist about
some of the nuances of therapyfor food, allergy, anxiety, that
can help you get the most out ofyour time and your money that
you're investing with yourtherapist.
And number three, if theapproaches that I talk about
here in my podcast resonate withyou, and you want me on your
(32:55):
team, you can consider joiningme for my upcoming small group
for food allergy, adults, andparents.
This is a six week course.
It will touch on the mostimportant things that I want you
to know for managing foodallergy, stress, and anxiety in
a healthier way.
I will teach you the basics thatI take my clients through about
learning about your nervoussystem, how to achieve better
regulation.
(33:15):
What's the specific effect ofallergies on that and how it
perpetuates itself, how to stopthe cycle to better understand
how the trauma of your allergyexperiences live in your body
and learning ways to release it.
So you can also find the link tothis online course in the show
notes or by going to my website,thefoodallergypsychologist.
(33:36):
com And under resources, youwill find allergy empowerment
group.
You'll find more details aboutthe group there, and I would
love it.
If you'd reach out to me withany other questions you might
have about the group or workingwith me in any way, shape, or
form, if reaching out fortherapy seems like the right
choice for you, I really hopeall of the details in this
(33:57):
episode will help to make iteasier for you to find someone.
Thanks so much for listening.
the content of this podcast isfor informational and
educational purposes only, andis not a substitute for
professional medical or mentalhealth advice, diagnosis, or
treatment.
If you have any questions aboutyour own medical experience or
mental health needs, pleaseconsult a professional.
(34:18):
I'm Dr.
Amanda White house.
Thanks for joining me.
And until we chat again,remember don't feed the fear.
Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we
dive into the complex world offood allergy anxiety.
I'm your host, Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse, food allergyanxiety psychologist and food
allergy mom.
Whether you're dealing withallergies yourself or supporting
someone who is, join us for anempathetic and informative
journey toward food allergy calmand confidence..
dr--amanda-whitehouse_1 (00:22):
Welcome back to Don't Feed the Fear.
I hope you're having a safe andhealthy start to your new year
and got some much needed restover the holidays, just like me.
I took some time to think aboutthe podcast so far and to
appreciate the support so manyof you have given me while I
took on this One one of myfavorite moments was a day that
I sat down to look through allof the locations that you're
(00:44):
listening in from, and I wasshocked to see that you are
tuning in from every U S state.
Except so far, Alaska andHawaii, dozens of different
countries and every continentexcept Africa.
So my official goal for 2025 isto log some listeners in those
places.
Please share.
If you happen to know someoneliving in Alaska or Hawaii or
(01:05):
anywhere on the continent ofAfrica, who might want to give
the show a listen.
To be talking about our supportsystems.
I'm going to help you thinkthrough how to consciously build
a support team around you tohelp you feel less alone while
walking this path.
Food allergies can be soisolating.
(01:27):
Sometimes I work on raisingawareness and fighting back
against that.
This season though, I'm going totalk about how sometimes we
isolate ourselves unnecessarilyand why we do so.
Maybe we think other peoplewon't understand or will be
annoyed with us.
Maybe we are conflict avoidantor have a strong need for
control and just want to doeverything ourselves and not ask
(01:47):
for help.
Maybe we have asked for help andhave been hurt or let down by
the people we reached out to, oreven by the experts and
providers who we were supposedto be able to put our trust and
safety in.
I want to help you think abouthow you can break down these
barriers and find the people whowant to help you and have
valuable support that they'rewilling to share with you.
(02:07):
I want to help you seek andnurture a community around
yourself.
Each episode this season, we'lltalk about one important role or
relationship that you mightneed, or you might want to
nurture, or you might want toconsider adding to your team.
We'll start here in our firstepisode with me, your friendly
food allergy therapist.
(02:28):
I'm going to share a little bitmore about my perspective on
this work.
Transcribed how to know if itmight be time for you to find a
therapist who can help youmanage your personal challenges
more effectively, how to findsomeone, and then how to
determine if they're a good fitfor you.
I'll start with a littleexercise that I like to call my
imaginary circle.
(02:49):
This is a little strategy that Ihave used since shortly after I
became a mother, where Iimagined the absolutely perfect
circle of People who love andsupport me, surrounding me, and
who would comprise that group ofpeople if I could choose
absolutely anyone I wanted.
I'm lucky that many of those areactually people from my real
(03:10):
life.
Some are people I'll never meet.
Some of these people havechanged throughout the years and
some will remain on my listforever.
And when I'm in a dark spot andreally needing help, I can close
my eyes and feel them around meas a cohesive unit, a team,
supporting me with their wordsand their actions, whether from
my own memory or things I'veread or seen.
(03:31):
When I'm struggling withsomething in particular, I can
imagine which one of thosepeople in that moment is the one
that I would reach out to and ifit's someone that I can't
actually reach out to, I canenvision and imagine what that
person would say, what I'veheard them or read or, or seen
them do or say about that topicthat might be helpful to me.
(03:52):
So some of the people on my listwho are real people are friends
that I've been lucky to havesince as young as elementary
school.
None of them have children withfood allergies.
Or food allergies themselves,but they let me show up messy
and stressed and they listen andthey're always there for me.
Some of the people on the listare loved ones who have died,
whose voices and support andlove I can still hear and feel
(04:13):
when I quiet my mind.
And also eternally on my listare my favorite authors, Barbara
Kingsolver and Brene Brown, whoin very different ways remind me
of my humanity each time I readtheir words.
Think for a bit about who'salready in your circle, who you
would add to it if you could.
And who you might actually beable to add to it in real life.
(04:35):
This is like that game, who youwould invite to dinner, but
instead of stimulatingconversations or mysteries and
burning questions that you wouldlove to hear the answers to
anyone you choose is someone whocan help you to foster your own
strength and resilience andwellness.
You can choose as many people asyou like and no matter what
combination of people you pick,they'll get along and they'll
(04:55):
focus on helping you.
So for each episode of thiswinter season, as we discuss
different roles to fill in yourlife, consider your imaginary
circle.
Who is it missing?
If you could have your dreamdoctor, the most amazing friend,
the best neighbor to live nextdoor and call in a pinch, who
would it be?
At first, don't restrictyourself with being logical or
(05:18):
realistic.
Just see where your mind wandersto and who you would choose.
It'll usually show up somethingin the form of, Gosh, it would
be so nice if I could callblank.
Or if there was someone whoblank.
And whoever that is will giveyou a clue of what you're
needing in real life, what'sreally important to you, and
maybe help you down the path offinding a person who can
(05:39):
actually meet that need.
Managing food allergies createsa scarcity mindset, or a way of
thinking that leads us tobelieve that we have to take
what we can get, whatever's outthere.
Our choices are limited.
We have to make the most of whatwe've got.
Unfortunately, this is sometimestrue.
But it isn't always true.
So if we approach everything inthis way, we're likely to miss
(06:00):
an opportunity or something thatmight be a better fit or
something that we never thoughtwe could have that's actually
available to us or that we cancreate ourselves.
I have found that this isabsolutely true about seeing a
therapist for food allergyanxiety and trauma.
It doesn't have to be limited towhat you might do.
I'm be like, or what you'dexpect in a therapist's office.
(06:22):
A lot of people assume therearen't people out there who can
help them because nobodyunderstands, and I understand
that that's rooted in genuineexperiences of having many
people not understand.
Unfortunately, many people thatI've worked with have actually
had bad experiences withtherapists.
with a therapist who usingtraditional therapy methods that
aren't quite the right fit forthis type of a problem, have
(06:43):
tried to challenge or talkpeople out of worries that are
actually a genuine safetyconcern and not a thinking error
or a cognitive pattern thatneeds to be changed.
but overall, I have found thatmost people's expectations of
therapy in general are way off.
They think that you share allyour problems with the therapist
who gives you some great adviceand it helps you solve your
(07:04):
problems.
Research shows that the biggestfactor in the power of therapy
to help you heal is thetherapeutic relationship you
develop with your therapist.
Your trust and safety in thespace you create together.
So what really is most importantis actually for you to have
someone you feel comfortablewith and who creates a sense of
safety around discussing yourdifficult stuff.
(07:27):
The rest can be learned by atherapist who truly listens and
is catering their approach toyou and your needs.
It's not all or nothing in termsof your food allergies, the idea
of therapy, and whether or not atherapist can help you.
So what I mean by this is peoplecoming into my office with
stress and anxiety around theirfood allergies usually address
(07:47):
it one of two ways.
They think the only problem istheir food allergies, Or they
don't think that their foodallergies are a problem, it's
just the other things that theyneed to work on.
In both cases, what's usuallytrue is that the bad experience
and anxiety from the foodallergies are part of a bigger
problem.
They might be the root of abigger problem, having created
(08:08):
anxiety and nervous systemdysregulation, and then that
creates a pattern of unhelpfulcoping skill patterns that the
person has developed.
So how do you know if it's timeto give it a try and seek out
some help from a therapist?
If you are living in persistentfear about having an allergic
reaction, if you constantlyworry about your safety, or your
(08:31):
child's safety, or your child isconstantly worried about their
own safety, even in situationsthat are generally low risk,
therapy can help you reduce thatanxiety.
If you're having difficultymanaging your emotions related
to food allergies, if feelingsof fear, guilt, frustration
about food allergies feeloverwhelming or uncontrollable,
(08:53):
then therapy can give you toolsto process and regulate your
emotions.
If you are avoiding socialsituations and isolating
yourself, if you don't go togatherings, restaurants, or
other events due only to fear ofexposure to allergens, therapy
can help build confidence andcoping skills.
(09:17):
If you're struggling withschool, or caregiver
communication, struggling withcommunication with your employer
about what your needs are.
If advocating for yourself orfor your child's food allergies
in any way in any environmentcauses significant stress or
conflict for you, then you canwork with a therapist to learn
more effective ways tocommunicate and set boundaries
(09:39):
and practice those in a safesetting so that you can beef up
that skill.
If you are a food allergyparent, And you feel an
overwhelming sense of guilt orblame yourself for the child's
food allergies then therapy canhelp you process these feelings
to learn some self compassionand to shift to a healthier
(10:01):
mindset.
If you experience physicalsymptoms of anxiety, like
stomach aches, headaches, aracing heart when you're
thinking about food allergies,or the chance that you might be
having a reaction, panicattacks, breathing difficulties,
if you live in that confusingspace all the time of, is this
(10:22):
anxiety or an allergic reaction,then your nervous system is
probably imbalanced anddysregulated, and therapy can
help you to retrain your nervoussystem to not be so reactive.
If you find yourself repeatedlychecking labels, sanitizing,
washing your hands, if you aremore than necessary questioning
(10:47):
others about, Food safety if youfind that it's problematic for
you in your life, then therapycan help you find a balance
between caution and Calm.
If you have trouble fallingasleep, if you are up late at
night worrying about foodallergies, if you're having
nightmares about reactions oryou wake up due to worry and you
(11:08):
can't fall asleep, you lay thereawake during the night, therapy
can give you tools for managingnighttime anxiety.
If you find yourself replayingtraumatic events.
Past allergic reactions replayin your mind and lead to
flashbacks or heightened stress.
If a similar situation to a pastexperience triggers a memory or
(11:32):
visual of the experience ortriggers a physiological
response in your body, even ifyou're not thinking about it or
seeing it in your mind, thentherapy can help you release
that trauma from the body andprocess what happened to you.
And just in general, in any way,if you find that If your food
allergies are impacting thequality of your life in a way
that you do not want them to be,you have the right to find help
(11:54):
and support.
If it's interfering with yourability to enjoy life, to
connect with others, to takecare of yourself, to participate
in things that you'd like to beinvolved with, to do things that
you want to experience, therapyis a really great safe place to
find and create a path that isright for you, that balances
what you need to create safetyin your life.
(12:14):
with what you want to achieveand accomplish and experience in
your life.
Seeking therapy for your foodallergy, anxiety, or trauma is a
proactive step towards managingyour fears, improving your well
being, fostering a safer andmore confident approach to life
with food allergies.
It isn't a question of whetheryou need a therapist, but a
question of whether you couldbenefit from one.
(12:35):
Would it be helpful for you?
Would it potentially?
Make your life better.
Even if you can manage alone,you might be able to be more at
ease, more engaged, moreavailable to the people and in
the relationships in your lifeare more present with the people
you love.
If you had some support fromsomeone who knows how to help
people achieve that.
(12:55):
So if you think you couldbenefit from working with a
therapist,, I want toacknowledge to you that reaching
out for therapy is a really bigstep.
It is not easy for us to ask forhelp, especially when anxiety
makes you second guess yourselfand where we live in a society
that kind of challenges andquestions us at every turn about
(13:15):
our allergies and if we reallyneed this and if that's really a
risk and are we overreacting andin a society that isn't always
the most positive about peopleseeking help, we applaud
resilience and independence andachievement.
And even though there's moretalk about mental health and
wellness these days, there stillcan often be a cloud of judgment
(13:40):
or shame or guilt about needingtherapy about, do I have a
mental illness about taking thetime and the money away from all
of our other obligations to seekout therapy.
So a lot of people who are inthis boat talk themselves out of
it.
They sit around wondering thingslike, Do I really need it?
Is my anxiety that bad?
(14:00):
Will the therapist evenunderstand what I'm going
through?
Or will they just question itlike everybody else does?
So if you're listening to metalk about this and you're
having those doubts, please knowthat they're normal.
Especially if you have allergiesor if you're managing a child's
allergies and you're alreadyused to just taking care of
everything else on your own.
But therapy isn't just for whenthings are unbearable, it is
(14:22):
also for learning new skills,processing past experience,
creating more ease in your life,and being healthier.
Many people, even if they decideto reach out, then they get
overwhelmed with knowing whereto start or how do I look for a
therapist.
My first suggestion is to askyour allergist if they know any
local therapists who specializein working with people with food
allergies.
(14:42):
If there are, your allergist isprobably already familiar with
them and their work might beable to tell you a little bit
about them and how to reachthem.
And that's a great prescreeningprocess for you.
Similarly, if you have a localfood allergy group, we have one
here in Buffalo.
We have a Facebook group.
It's super easy to reach out tothe people in the group and ask
(15:02):
Who people have worked with, whodo they see?
For most people, a personalrecommendation is really first
and foremost.
But if you can't get one,probably the next important
factor is finding someone whocan accept your health insurance
to cover your sessions.
So the next step would be tocall your insurance company's
customer service line or loginto your online portal for your
(15:22):
health insurance program and doa provider search.
There are usually options youcan select, like in person or
telehealth, what theirspecialties are, what ages.
populations they work with,whether they're accepting new
clients and specifics aboutthem, like their degree or their
type of license that they have.
So this is another point where alot of people get really
confused and overwhelmed.
(15:44):
I don't want to lose you here.
So, there are so many differenttypes of therapy degrees and
licenses here in the U.
S.
and I don't even know and can'tcomment about those in other
countries.
But I'm going to try my best tohelp you make sense of all those
letters after people's names andnarrow down what might be the
best fit for you and what you'relooking for.
Each specific credentialrepresents a different type of
(16:04):
training, education, andapproach to therapy.
So I'm going to break it downfor you and talk about what each
of these professionals can bringto the therapy room.
The first broader category aremaster's level clinicians.
So anyone who is.
licensed as some type of atherapist or a counselor will
(16:25):
have at least a master's degreebeyond their undergraduate
degree in counseling, socialwork, or marriage and family
therapy.
There are a handful of differentlicensed professional
counselors.
The letters that follow theirnames could be LPC, LPCC, LMHC,
or LCPC.
(16:46):
All of those people will have amaster's degree in a field
related to counseling.
Their training focus is ongeneral mental health
counseling, general therapytechniques, and sometimes
specific specialties like traumaor anxiety or family systems.
generally speaking, they willfocus on practical tools and
coping skills to help you withwhatever the concern is.
(17:08):
A lot of times, licensedprofessional counselors will
focus on, more of a short termor solution focused therapy to
address a problem that's athand.
The next category within themaster's level practitioners are
licensed clinical socialworkers, LCSW.
Sometimes it's LICSW, LMSW,LSCSW, These providers all have
(17:32):
a master's in social work, sotheir training focus is on
mental health therapy with astrong emphasis on systems,
social justice, advocacy, theirtraining focus is Is more on
mental health therapy often witha strong emphasis on systems,
social justice advocacy, thestrengths of working with a
(17:53):
licensed clinical social workeris that they are able more
likely to be trained in therapytechniques and also social and
environmental factors that areaffecting mental health, kind of
a bigger picture, zoom out kindof perspective.
They will often have moreexperience and training and
crisis intervention and intrauma informed approaches.
(18:14):
Next is a marriage and familytherapist, which might have the
title LMFT or LCMFT.
These are people who have amaster's in marriage and family
therapy.
So of course, their trainingfocuses in relationships.
family systems, communicationpatterns.
You can also find them inprivate practices, family
therapy clinics, sometimesschools, and often in community
(18:35):
mental health.
And of course, they specializein how relationships impact
mental health and in workingwith couples, families, or
individuals who are exploringrelationship dynamics.
So these providers might oftenfocus more on attachment, on
conflict resolution, and oncommunication skills.
The next category of educationis a doctoral level clinician.
(18:59):
So some people go beyond amaster's degree to earn a
doctorate in psychology.
That's what my degree is.
We receive additional years oftraining and assessment
diagnosis and research.
There's various different typesof psychologists, clinical,
counseling psychologists, but iftheir title is psychologist and
they have a Ph.
D.
after their name, that meansthat they earned, a doctorate in
(19:20):
a program that required them towrite a dissertation, which is
when you write basically a bookand you do your own research.
Research project, you pick atopic and you deep dive into it
and generate your own researchon that topic.
You might also see side or PSYDafter a psychologist name.
(19:40):
They're also doctoral level.
The same length of training interms of their education.
It's not always the case, butoften the side programs don't
require someone to write adissertation.
Doctoral level.
Psychologists have more trainingand experience and diagnosing
mental health conditions morecomprehensively.
They might also be able to offermore testing.
(20:02):
And certain types of testingthat other providers can't give.
Doctoral level clinicians cansometimes be a better fit for
more complex diagnoses, for moresignificant problems, or complex
comorbid disorders.
And in some cases, they're abetter fit for deeper
therapeutic work.
So those are the psychologistswho people often confuse with
(20:25):
the term psychiatrist.
Psychiatrists are medicalprofessionals who can also
provide therapy or prescribedmedication.
So, If you are seeing a doctorwho prescribes medication, they
are likely a psychiatrist withan MD, a medical doctor, or a
DO, a doctor of osteopathy aftertheir name.
(20:46):
Their training focuses in thediagnosis and treatment of
health conditions with aconcentration in
psychopharmacology or themedications that treat mental
health conditions.
Some provide therapy, but mostare focused on medication
management.
Other people who might also bedoing that are psychiatric nurse
practitioners or NPs and theyhave an advanced practice
(21:10):
nursing degree with aspecialization in psychiatry and
in medication management.
So again, they often focus onprescribing medication.
I always recommend that ifyou're interested in medication
that you do that in combinationwith ongoing therapy with a
therapist who can do deeper workwith you as well.
So what type of therapist isright for you?
(21:30):
Sometimes you can narrow downwhat you're looking for in your
search so you don't getoverwhelmed with all those
titles.
Ultimately, remember,credentials are important, but
the most important thing is theconnection that you feel with
your therapist.
No matter what their degree is,a therapist should make you feel
heard, respected, and safe.
So once you have an idea whattype of providers you're going
to include in your search, youcan start narrowing down that
(21:52):
list you got from your healthinsurance, and you can find a
therapist that would be rightfor you.
When you're looking, it'simportant to find someone who
understands that anxiety isn'tjust about your thoughts.
It's very deeply connected toyour body and your nervous
system, as I emphasizeconstantly here on the podcast.
Food allergy anxiety isdifferent from other types of
(22:12):
anxiety, because oftentimes whenpeople are anxious about
something, it is an imagined, oran exaggerated or a very, very
unlikely fear or a worst casescenario.
When we're dealing with foodallergy anxiety, number one, the
danger is real.
Your brain and your body aren'toverreacting, they're trying to
keep you alive, and the stepsthat you need to take and be
(22:34):
careful of are things that youactually have to do to stay
safe.
And when allergies are involved,the nervous system has been
impacted in a way that someother people haven't And the
constant stress of scanning forallergies, your nervous system
is much more likely to be stuckin a state of hypervigilance and
need more than just copingskills and thinking pattern
(22:56):
shifts in order to help youreduce the anxiety.
So because of all this, it'sreally helpful to look for a
therapist who specializes inanxiety disorders so they
understand how anxiety works atthe physiological level and how
to address that.
A therapist who specializes intrauma or PTSD, because even if
you don't think of yourexperiences as trauma, food
(23:17):
allergy related events can betraumatic and the nervous system
experiences them that way.
Particularly helpful is atherapist who specializes in
somatic or nervous system basedapproaches, like those I talk
about here on the show.
If providers are telling youthat they offer things like
polyvagal approaches.
Polyvagal theory is how weunderstand the role of the vagus
(23:40):
nerve and how it regulates thenervous system and triggers and
regulates the anxiety response.
EMDR, many people have heard of.
That's eye movementdesensitization and
reprocessing.
This is something that can helpreprocess traumatic memories.
I'm not saying that it's foreveryone, and everyone with food
allergy anxiety should use EMDR,but it can be a good tool, and
(24:01):
it's an indication that theprovider understands more than
the average person about howyour nervous system works.
Somatic experiencing, which arestrategies to help release
stored fear, tension, and traumafrom the body physically.
And mindfulness basedapproaches, which help you tune
into your body and emotions in asafe way.
They connect you more closely toyour body and the signs and the
(24:24):
responses is giving you.
So you've got your list, you'vekind of considered those
different fields and what you'relooking for and which type of
practitioner and license will bethe right fit for you.
Now you can start finding theirwebsites and looking for this
type of terminology in theirdescriptions of the type of work
that they do.
(24:45):
Hopefully some people might bejumping out at you that you
think would be a good fit.
So then you start calling, yousee who's taking new clients,
and you hopefully make anappointment with someone.
Once you make an appointment,and now here you are sitting in
someone's office, you'll, wantto look for whether they
understand anxiety and thenervous system.
(25:05):
A good therapist for this typeof problem won't just tell you
to challenge your thoughts orthink positively or respond with
optimistic responses when youtalk about how difficult things
are for you.
Cognitive work, which addressesyour thinking, is valuable, but
it's not enough when yournervous system is stuck in
survival mode.
So listen for things like, dothey talk about anxiety as
(25:27):
something that lives in thebody, not just the mind?
Do they address the physicalresponses in your body, not just
ask about your thoughts?
Do they acknowledge how yourpast experiences, like your
allergic reactions, shapecurrent fear responses?
And do they offer tools toregulate your nervous system?
Are they experienced in teachingand leading you in breath work
(25:48):
and grounding and body basedtechniques?
If the therapist minimizes theseverity of your anxiety, If
they question the stepsnecessary to manage your
allergies safely, if theysuggest that you are
overreacting in direct or evenin polite and gentle terms,
that's a red flag.
Especially as you're building arelationship, your new therapist
(26:08):
should be invested in making youfeel heard and validated,
developing trust with you,making you feel safe.
Gathering all the informationthat they need to support you
and understanding where you'reat so that they can help you
address your anxiety.
And finally, recognizing thatyou know more than they do about
your allergies.
Even if it's someone who has alot of experience, whether it's
(26:31):
professionally or personally,they should acknowledge and
recognize that you are theexpert on what you have
experienced and what's true foryour body.
do they listen to you andvalidate your experience?
Therapy isn't just aboutstrategies, it's about feeling
heard and understood andconnecting with the person that
you're in the room with.
So pay attention right from thebeginning to whether they listen
(26:53):
to you without interrupting orrushing to offer you advice.
Do they seem curious and open?
Do they ask questions to clarifyand reflect it back to you to
confirm that they understood youcorrectly?
Or do they just make assumptionsabout your experience?
Ultimately, you should leavefeeling heard, not dismissed.
Pay attention to how you feel inthe room or on the screen with
(27:15):
this person.
Your body's response reallymatters.
Do your best during these earlysessions, during the session and
then after the session to checkin with yourself and notice.
Do I feel even slightly more atease when I'm with this person
or after I speak with them?
Do I feel safe enough to shareopenly with them when I'm
talking to them?
(27:36):
Do I notice myself shutting downor feeling more anxious than
when I started?
It's really normal to feelvulnerable when you go to
therapy, but you should neverfeel judged, dismissed,
pressured.
So you can briefly scan yourbody from the top to the bottom
for indicators of eitherdiscomfort and guardedness or
openness and ease.
Do you have tension in your headand your neck?
(27:57):
Is your jaw clenched?
Are your eyes kind of squintedand overly focused?
What's your posture like?
Are you leaning in?
Are you open?
Or are you pulling away andclosed off?
What's your heart rate like?
Does it pick up or does itsettle in?
Same with your breathing.
Do you feel discomfort in yourstomach or do you feel relaxed?
Is your energy fidgety or is itcalm?
(28:20):
Do you feel exhausted after asession or do you feel energized
and motivated?
Pay close attention to thosethings.
Your body will give you theclues.
Even if you feel indecisive inyour mind, but remember that
therapy brings up discomfortbecause we're talking about our
most Uncomfortable and scarythings.
So that's not always a badthing.
(28:41):
Growth can often feeluncomfortable.
It's tough to tell thedifference between the
discomfort of doing hardemotional work and the
vulnerability of opening up to anew therapist and a new person,
and the feeling that thetherapist isn't right for you.
So, some things that you can askyourself to help you distinguish
are number one, is thediscomfort because I'm talking
about something vulnerable.
(29:02):
If it's the words that you'resaying that are making you feel
vulnerable, if it's rememberingand explaining the things that
have happened to you, then thatmight be the normal part of
therapy and vulnerability oftalking about hard things, but a
good therapist will patientlyhelp you work through it.
They will also recognize thosesymptoms, even if you're not
able to express it, and theywill work around it and
(29:22):
acknowledge that in the pace ofthe conversation.
Or is your gut telling me thatthis person isn't a good fit?
If you feel dismissed andmisunderstood, like you're not
truly being listened to, if theyseem judgmental, they don't
respect your lived experience.
if the feeling of resistance inyou feels like it's directed at
the person that you'reinteracting with and not just
(29:44):
the general idea of therapy orthe room that you're going to
sit in or sitting down to thecomputer for your appointment,
if it feels more specific aboutthe person.
You don't have to continue.
Sometimes people hesitate toswitch therapists because they
feel guilty.
They don't want to start over,but therapy is an investment in
your wellbeing.
So if someone isn't the rightfit for you, it's okay to keep
(30:05):
looking, keep asking questionsand keep working until you find
the right person for yoursupport system.
Ultimately finding the righttherapist is a process that can
be difficult.
It's okay if it takes time, youdon't have to commit to the
first therapist you meet and youdon't have to walk away just
because it feels uncomfortableat first.
At the end of the day, the goalof therapy isn't just to fix
(30:26):
your anxiety, it's to help youfeel and be safer in your body
and in your life.
It's about learning how to livewith your food allergies, or
your child's food allergies, ina way that doesn't take over
your world.
So with the right therapist, youdon't have to do that alone.
So that's a lot of informationI've thrown at you today, but I
hope it's helpful in navigatingwhat can be a really difficult
(30:46):
process.
I know a lot of people have thisidea, I could find a therapist,
but they just don't exist.
Don't know where to start and sothey don't put it on the list or
they don't get it done.
I hope this is enough to helpyou navigate that if you think
it's something that's right foryou.
So the three things that you cando to take action on what I've
shared with you today.
Number one, if you don't have atherapist and you think you
(31:08):
could benefit from working withone, just ask your allergist,
ask your local allergy supportgroup, or get a list of
providers from your insurancecompany.
And then you can start browsingtheir websites or call and have
a chat with them.
Chances are you feel like it'llbe stressful, but you'll
actually have the oppositeexperience and feel relief and
excitement at the possibility ofcreating a space that's just for
(31:29):
your own thoughts, feelings,worries, and stressors.
If you'd like some supportremembering and incorporating
what I shared with you todayinto your search, Thank you Go
to my website or click the linkin the show notes.
I've created a free printablelist of questions that you can
ask potential new therapists tohelp find the right therapist
for you.
(31:50):
Number two, if you already havea therapist that you're working
with that you really like, andyou think your relationship
could be even better if theyunderstood some of what we talk
about here on Don't Feed theFear, I encourage you to have an
open conversation with them.
Clients are often afraid to behonest with us about what isn't
working or what they want to dodifferently, or what could help
them better.
Good therapists will be open tothat feedback.
(32:12):
And we want to know, because wewant to do the best work with
you.
And the better we understandyour needs, the better we can do
that.
So please share your thoughts,share articles or resources you
love with your therapist.
I do offer consultationservices.
So if you have a greattherapist, The relationship is
right for you, but you do feellike they could use some more
(32:33):
skills and understandingspecific to the food allergy
piece.
Then I'm available to talk withyou And your therapist about
some of the nuances of therapyfor food, allergy, anxiety, that
can help you get the most out ofyour time and your money that
you're investing with yourtherapist.
And number three, if theapproaches that I talk about
here in my podcast resonate withyou, and you want me on your
(32:55):
team, you can consider joiningme for my upcoming small group
for food allergy, adults, andparents.
This is a six week course.
It will touch on the mostimportant things that I want you
to know for managing foodallergy, stress, and anxiety in
a healthier way.
I will teach you the basics thatI take my clients through about
learning about your nervoussystem, how to achieve better
regulation.
(33:15):
What's the specific effect ofallergies on that and how it
perpetuates itself, how to stopthe cycle to better understand
how the trauma of your allergyexperiences live in your body
and learning ways to release it.
So you can also find the link tothis online course in the show
notes or by going to my website,thefoodallergypsychologist.
(33:36):
com And under resources, youwill find allergy empowerment
group.
You'll find more details aboutthe group there, and I would
love it.
If you'd reach out to me withany other questions you might
have about the group or workingwith me in any way, shape, or
form, if reaching out fortherapy seems like the right
choice for you, I really hopeall of the details in this
(33:57):
episode will help to make iteasier for you to find someone.
Thanks so much for listening.
the content of this podcast isfor informational and
educational purposes only, andis not a substitute for
professional medical or mentalhealth advice, diagnosis, or
treatment.
If you have any questions aboutyour own medical experience or
mental health needs, pleaseconsult a professional.
(34:18):
I'm Dr.
Amanda White house.
Thanks for joining me.
And until we chat again,remember don't feed the fear.
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