July 23, 2025 • 23 mins
In this special birthday episode of Don’t Feed the Fear, I’m pausing to reflect on a whirlwind year, both personally and professionally. I answer some of the questions I get most often, including what inspired the name of the podcast, what I’ve learned through a year of growth, grief, and gratitude, and how nervous system work continues to shape everything from allergy management to parenting to healing.
As we continue to discuss the choices that we do have in managing allergies well, I share how I use the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) with my own family and clients to help regulate the nervous system after chronic stress and trauma, and an invitation to join me for a group experience this fall. Plus, I open up about what’s next for the show, and why even the good things in life require rest, recalibration, and intentional nervous system care.
Thank you to all the amazing guests who joined me this year to get the podcast off to such a great start! I loved meeting each of you, learned so much from you, and look forward to staying in touch!
You can follow me on Instagram @thefoodallergypsychologist
For info about my upcoming groups or any other aspect of my work, check out my website www.thefoodallergypsychologist.com
and contact me/sign up for my email list here:
Connect — Amanda Whitehouse Phd
Special thanks to Kyle Dine for permission to use his song The Doghouse for the podcast theme!
www.kyledine.com
Find Dr. Whitehouse:
-thefoodallergypsychologist.com
-Instagram: @thefoodallergypsychologist
-Facebook: Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, Food Allergy Anxiety Psychologist
-welcome@dramandawhitehouse.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:01):
Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we
dive into the complex world offood allergy anxiety.
I'm your host, Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse, food allergyanxiety psychologist and food
allergy mom.
Whether you're dealing withallergies yourself or supporting
someone who is, join us for anempathetic and informative
journey toward food allergy calmand confidence..
amanda-whitehouse--phd- (00:23):
Welcome back to Don't Feed the Fear for
a very special episode.
It's our birthday, um, actuallymore than one birthday this
summer.
We have been celebrating myoldest son's birthday, which is
my one who has food allergies,his dad's birthday, my birthday,
and the month of July alsomarks one year since I launched
the Don't Feed The Fear Podcast.
(00:43):
So I wanted to record anepisode to say thank you so much
to everybody who has beenhelping me along the way.
I knew that there were morepeople out there that I could
reach through my privatepractice who were managing food
allergy anxiety and needed somesupport.
I'm so surprised at how eagerso many of you were to listen at
(01:03):
how generous people within thefood allergy community were to
share their time with me asguests.
And their expertise and theirstories.
So thank you to everyone whohas been helping the podcast
grow faster and farther than Iever imagined it would.
It's so cool.
My kids have been watching withme, how each episode, we have
listeners now in every state andon every continent, and it just
(01:25):
blows me away.
I love getting your messages,your emails, hearing your
stories, hearing your questions,and knowing that my little
corner of the food allergy worldis resonating with so many of
you.
The most common question I'vegotten about the show is why I
named it Don't Feed the Fear.
I use that phrase so much in mywork, and with myself and my
(01:49):
family that it was justautomatic for me to choose it as
the name of my podcast.
To me, "don't feed the fear" isa reminder that fear and
anxiety are normal, especiallywhen you or your child is
navigating life with foodallergies.
It's a given.
Fear is a survival response andit's a sign that our bodies'
protective mechanisms areoperating as they should be when
(02:11):
they show up in response tosomething that has caused harm
in the past or is potentiallydangerous.
So while fear is unavoidable,what we do with it is a choice,
and that's what we're talkingabout this summer, is the
choices that we do have, eventhough we didn't choose this
life managing allergies.
So in my work as a psychologistand in my own life, I've seen
(02:35):
how easy it is, especially forfood allergy parents to pour
enormous amounts of time,energy, and mental effort into
our fear.
We feed it, we track it, wetend to it.
We over prepare and overthink,and it's almost as if we cling
to it like it's protecting us.
It's this illusion that wehave, that the fear itself is
(02:57):
keeping us safe.
But what actually happens isthat the more we feed the fear,
the bigger and the louder itgets, and the more afraid we
become.
We believe we're only safe if weremain afraid, and we make
ourselves more afraid in theprocess, so the name Don't Feed
the Fear isn't about ignoringthe fear or pretending
(03:20):
everything is fine or eventrying to push it away.
It's a reminder to beintentional about what we are
feeding.
Is it fear or is it somethingelse?
Because when we stop feedingthe fear and start nurturing and
growing other things like ourconfidence, the information we
have at hand, our knowledgebase, our clarity, our courage,
(03:43):
the community that we'rebuilding around ourselves, the
boundaries that we need thatactually keep us safe,
connections with others, theability to self-regulate, which
if you've been listening, youknow, for me, comes down to that
nervous system piece.
If we nurture all of that andgrow those things, we don't just
(04:04):
feel less anxious, we feel morepowerful, more prepared, safer.
We feel more like ourselves.
So this podcast is about givingyou the tools, the science, the
resources, the information, thevalidation, and the support to
help you stop feeding the fearand choose what you'd like to
(04:25):
feed.
And I have to admit thatstarting the show entailed some
fear for me as a working mom whois already way overstretched.
And on top of that, it seemslike every time our family
experiences a big step in ourfood allergy freedom, or I get
brave enough to take a big stepout of my mom world and my
comfort zone and do somethingthat's a little more focused on
(04:47):
my own work or myself.
I seem to get thrown a curveball, so.
One of the first ones was aftermy son had just completed his
OIT treatment.
He was in maintenance.
That was such a commitment thatI managed most of, and I
finally felt ready to take thebig step of traveling solo for
(05:07):
this professional conferencethat I really wanted to attend,
and I thought, now's the time.
He's ready.
We can do this.
And unfortunately while I wasaway at that conference, he had
a middle of the night mysteryreaction at home.
I woke up to a 3:00 AM phonecall as the ambulance was
arriving at my house and theneighbor was coming over to stay
(05:29):
with the other kids so myhusband could go to the
emergency room, I was up allnight on speaker with the ER
staff helping to figure out theproblem and solve the mystery,
and to help my son feel calmerand more secure.
And of course, the rest of myconference was a bust because I
was so stressed and just sleepdeprived.
(05:50):
But he made it through it okay.
And then last year things hadcalmed down.
I thought I could take on thispodcast finally, which I had
been wanting to do for a longtime.
I announced the show, Irecorded the first episode, and
just before I published thatvery first episode, he had
another one of those nighttimemystery reactions.
(06:12):
So both times he was okay.
We did eventually get to thebottom of what was going on,
which I might share a little bitmore about at some point down
the road on the podcast.
So things were feeling betteragain, we solved the mystery.
Then last month, I took off toChicago for the Center for Food
Allergy and Asthma Research,summit in Chicago.
(06:34):
No reactions this time, thankgoodness, but.
While I was gone, our house mayor may not have been struck by
lightning.
It might have been a powersurge.
Nobody knows for sure,apparently, and everyone is
okay.
Some very expensive electronicswere destroyed.
My sons lost their video gameprogress that had been saved on
(06:56):
one of the video game consoles,which of course was tragic for
them.
But everyone is safe andhealthy, so I am not
complaining.
I did my trip.
Everything worked out okay andinstead of taking it as a bad
omen and a sign that I shouldnot go anywhere and have a life
of my own, I'm choosing veryactively to take away some
(07:17):
important reminders from this.
Number one is the obvious thatI can't control everything.
There's no way to avoid being alittle anxious when I leave my
kids.
And there's also no way tocontrol everything, stop or
anticipate or prevent everythingbad that could ever happen.
And so this is a reminder thatliterally the last thing that I
would think would happen while Iwas gone, would happen.
(07:39):
There's nothing that I can doabout it.
But number two is (07:40):
my family can be okay without me.
Even when that happens, theyfunction just fine.
I don't have to do everythingand they'll still be okay.
So as much as I feel likeeverything falls on my shoulders
and I have to carry it all.
And I know a lot of otherparents managing allergies feel
this way, like they're the onethat everything falls onto.
(08:01):
These were good reminders thateveryone can handle their
allergies.
They know how to respond evenin the emergencies, even in the
completely unexpected eventswithout me.
And last, this has been reminderafter reminder for me that the
good things and the hard thingsare never going to exist
separately from each other.
They will always coexist andboth of them will make demands
(08:25):
of our nervous systems.
That push pull of stress andgrowth is how we expand our
capacity.
And that isn't something to beavoided.
It's something to be acceptedas the nature of life.
So I always fall into this wayof thinking where, where I'm
tricking myself, into thinking,oh, we're in the clear now.
(08:45):
Things should be good.
We should, we should be calmfor a while, as if I have
achieved some plateau within mylife where I can stave off any
surprises or emergencies.
It's never gonna happen.
So I am working on beingthankful for it all.
I'm also working this summer onputting the time in to allow for
that growth and that expansionfrom everything that has been
(09:06):
going on to integrate that andto fill back up my reserves from
t he energy that it has taken.
So I've been refocusing ontaking really good care of my
nervous system, using all thetools that I know to keep myself
healthy and keep up with thenew demands and new
responsibilities of my newprojects and all the other
(09:27):
surprises that pop up along theway.
And I want to invite you to dothat with me.
So again, we're talking aboutoptions and choices.
We don't always have control,but we do have a choice about
how we respond and the skillsand the coping skills that we
use.
I'll be sharing more of that onInstagram You can follow me
there@thefoodallergypsychologist.
(09:48):
Maybe I'll even get around togetting on TikTok, even though
I'm a little bit avoidant ofsocial media.
And I'll continue to beteaching those things on the
show, but many of you havereached out to me and my very
full therapy practice doesn'thave room for everybody.
So I've created another groupthat I'm gonna be opening in the
(10:10):
fall where we'll have a groupexperience.
It's for food allergicindividuals, it's for food
allergy parents, where we as agroup will walk
through. understanding how foodallergy life trains and sets up
the nervous system to stay inhigh alert and how we can change
that and we'll create this safegroup and community among which
we can do that.
And it's usually a very niceexperience because the
(10:33):
validation and the support thatwe can offer one another while
we're learning new informationand trying to incorporate it.
At the conclusion of that group,there will be an option to
continue on together with thegroup, with one of my absolute
favorite tools that I usepersonally and professionally to
support nervous system healingand growth.
And it's called the Safe andSound Protocol, or the SSP.
(10:54):
So the SSP is a research-backedsound therapy that stimulates
the vagus nerve to improveemotional regulation, to
decrease anxiety and stresssymptoms.
It has truly helped to shiftthe baseline in our household
and with many of my clients, andthe truth is that I sought this
(11:15):
out for myself when I washaving some health issues, and I
discovered it.
I wanted to try it, and Icouldn't find a practitioner, so
I just completed thecertification program and
purchased the program for myselfto use at home.
Then I used it with my familybefore I ever even incorporated
it into my therapy practice.
That's how excited I was to getstarted with it once I found
(11:36):
out about it.
The safe and sound protocol is anon-invasive.
Evidence-based therapeuticintervention.
It was developed by StevenPorges, who you might have heard
of.
He created polyvagal theory,and at its core, the SSP is
designed to help to regulate thenervous system by gently
(11:56):
stimulating the vagus nerve withsound and the vagus nerve plays
a huge role in how we processour sense of safety and
connection and threat.
The vagus nerve is the longestcranial nerve in the body
connecting the brain.
Down into the abdomen to allthe major organs like the heart,
the lungs, the digestivesystem.
So it plays the key role inregulating the nervous system,
(12:19):
particularly turning on and offthe body's shift between stress
and calm states.
It's the line of communicationbetween the information that's
coming into the body, throughthe senses, which is how it
interprets whether there is athreat, and then sending the
message to the body systems thatrespond depending on whether or
(12:40):
not it interprets that we aresafe or we're in danger.
So it is what receives a signalthrough what we see, what we
hear, what we feel around us.
And then if it perceivesdanger, it triggers your rapid
heartbeat, your shallowbreathing, your tense muscles,
heightened alertness, uh, thethat surge of adrenaline and
cortisol, which is preparing usto respond to an emergency
(13:04):
situation.
What the SSP actually looks likein practice is very simple.
It just involves listening toespecially filtered music that
has been engineered to stimulateand tone the vagus nerve and
calm the body's stress response.
You listen using over the earheadphones for short periods of
time.
It's very gradual.
You do a little bit each day,spread out over time with the
(13:28):
support of a trained providerwho understands the nervous
system The sound waves of themusic have been acoustically
altered in a way that challengesthe middle ear muscles and
directly stimulates the vagusnerve.
So this process helps to resetand regulate the autonomic
nervous system, moving it out offight, flight, or freeze, and
into a more socially engaged,receptive, calm, and connected
(13:52):
state.
Why does this matter, especiallyin the context of food allergy
life?
Because when our nervoussystems are.
Constantly perceiving a threat,which if food is dangerous to
you, that's almost all the time.
The nervous systems can startto believe that they need to be
in survival mode all the time.
(14:12):
This can happen after traumaticreaction years of hyper
vigilance, chronic stress.
And it makes it reallydifficult to access the part of
our brain that feels safe enoughto problem solve, to rest, to
connect with others, to bepresent in our experiences, or
for some people even to eat andto feel that those things are
safe to do.
So the SSP helps to soften thatconstant internal alarm,
(14:36):
desensitize the trigger, andhelp it to shift on and off more
appropriately.
It's not a cure all, and it'snot a magic wand, but it does
create a foundation of.
Physiological safety in thebody, which then allows us to
access everything else a littlebit easier.
We have a moment of pause toutilize the coping skills or the
(14:58):
language skills or theself-control that we possess,
but can't access when the bodyis responding instantaneously.
So if you are interested inworking more closely with
me, those are the opportunitiesto do so.
The small group will bebeginning this September of
2025.
And if you're listening farafter that date, check my
(15:19):
website because I will repeatthis at some time in the future.
That group will includeeducation, creating community
and support, practicing skills,and then the option to
transition into the group SSPexperience to train the nervous
system and to desensitize thatchronic fight or flight
response.
(15:40):
If you wanna learn more abouteither one, check out the link
in the show notes or go to theservices link on my website, the
food allergy psychologist.com.
If either one of those soundslike a good fit for you, I would
love to support you.
And moving forward with theshow, I'm looking forward to
continuing to supporting you tooand providing resources for
(16:01):
you.
I've been thinking a lot aboutwhat the year ahead might look
like and what would be fittingto share what not to share, a
lot of the questions I get areabout personal experiences or
about my work experiences, andso I've been just very carefully
considering how to balance whatI share with personal stories,
with professional insight in away that feels appropriate and
(16:23):
comfortable.
You will be hearing more soonabout our allergy journey in my
home, including my son'sexperiences with.
High sensitivity, multipletreatments, and um, getting to a
point where we are inmaintenance for all of those
things now and in a much betterspot.
I've got a whole season ofepisodes that will be coming
with experts about the differenttreatment options available,
(16:45):
from the medical lens.
And along with that, I will beproviding support with you
through our story and myprofessional perspective about
how to juggle the mental healthside of that, considering
options.
Choosing an option if it'sright for you, and then how to
navigate that.
And I'm also working on a veryexciting project that will be
going along with that and shouldbe ready soon if you want
(17:07):
deeper support with navigatingthat topic.
So if you don't wanna miss anyof those things, make sure you
subscribe to the show, whereveryou listen to it, so you'll hear
all about it.
You can also subscribe to myemail list.
Through my website, the foodallergy psychologist.com.
And in addition to sharing moreabout our personal journey, I've
(17:29):
given a lot more considerationto what stories to share and how
to share work experiences in away that feels not just ethical,
but considerate and respectfulof all of my current and past
clients.
There's one thing with thisthat I wanna be very clear
about.
Whenever I share stories frommy work, know that I would
(17:49):
never, ever share a detail thatcould identify a specific
client.
The ethics of my field, saythat I have to do that, but do
say that it's okay to share.
As long as the client isn'tidentifiable.
To me, that's not going farenough.
I would never want a client tolisten to my show and know that
I was talking about themspecifically, even if nobody
else would ever know it.
(18:10):
So I will only ever shareclient experiences if they are
things that multiple people haveshared with me, have
experienced, have felt, havesaid during sessions.
So if you're a client listeningand you think I'm talking about
you, please know it's probablyabout you and at least a handful
of other people, if not dozensof other people who have felt
similarly.
I take confidentiality very,very seriously.
(18:34):
But I also think about thatrelational impact of me having a
practice.
But being here on the show, Iwould never want a current or a
former client to hear somethingand know it was them, even if no
one else knew.
I would never want to harm ourtrust or make anybody
uncomfortable who has put theirtrust in me as their provider.
As much as I am aprofessional and have that
(18:57):
perspective to share here, Iwant you as listeners to know
that first and foremost, I'm amom and I am one who is in the
trenches with you.
I don't have magic fixes and Icertainly don't always get it
right with myself or with my ownkids, and I struggle sometimes
too, but I really do believe inthis work.
I think it's so important todevote our time and energy to as
(19:18):
much as it is to our medicaltreatments and our physical
safety.
And so I'm trying to live thatalongside of you as I talk about
it here on the show.
I'm really grateful to do thatwith you together.
You're giving me the motivationto stay focused on it and even
to learn more, the way that Ihave with all of the great
interviews that I've been doingand researching my guests and,
(19:40):
and learning about the thingsthat they're offering.
So this has been so worthwhilefor me too, and I've grown so
much more in the past year thanI anticipated doing.
As we wrap up this birthdayepisode, here is what I am
asking of you for your actionsteps.
1. If you would like to send abirthday gift my way or a
birthday gift the way of theshow, please leave a rating or a
(20:02):
review.
A review for Don't feed thefear wherever you listen to it
and2. Share the show with somebody
who might benefit from it,whether it's.
Someone individually that youknow personally if you're part
of a group, if you have your ownaudience that you think would
benefit from it.
Any form of sharing orreviewing the show would mean so
much to me to help me grow andreach more people who might
(20:25):
benefit from listening.
3. The last one is to pleasejust stay in touch, message me,
email me your thoughts, yourreactions, your questions.
I am planning to start doingsome q and a episodes based on
the comments and questions thatare coming in, and for some
shorter things, hopefully somemore Instagram posts and time
here.
So the more that I hear fromyou, the better idea I'll have
(20:46):
of the topics that more peoplewould really like for me to talk
more about.
And I intend to be here foranother year, continuing to
share the reminders, theexamples, the information, and
all the great people that I'mmeeting to help you heal and
manage your own stress andanxiety through the episodes and
my posts.
And if it's right for you, I'dlove to connect with you and my
(21:07):
food allergy small groupexperience too, and or the safe
and sound.
Protocol group, the SSP, youcan find information about all
the things that I do on mywebsite, the food allergy
psychologist.com.
You can contact me throughthere and you could reserve your
spot for any of those groups ifyou wanted.
I am really looking forward toconnecting more closely with
(21:28):
those of you who are resonatingwith this piece of what I've
been sharing on the show in thatformat.
Whatever way you're connectingwith me, whether you're
listening quietly and notresponding at all, which a lot
of you are doing, and if you areparticipating or interacting, I
appreciate all of that.
Whatever level of connection isright for you, I'm glad that
I've been able to find a way toprovide that.
(21:49):
So I hope that whatever you'rereceiving from me is a reminder
that you are not alone.
You're not doing anythingwrong.
Your feelings are valid givenall the experiences that you
have had, and those of us hereunderstand that you don't have
to just accept the stress andthe anxiety and the trauma.
There are things that you cando to help.
(22:10):
I will keep trying to sharethem with you as much as I can.
So again, thank you truly forspending time with me for the
past year.
Thank you to all the amazingguests who took so much time to
join me and were patient with meas I was learning how to do
these things.
I'll be tagging all of you inmy posts this week, and thank
you to all of you for listening.
I'll see you next time, and nowyou know in depth a little bit
(22:32):
more.
What I mean when I say to you,don't feed the fear
Speaker (22:41):
the content of this podcast is for informational and
educational purposes only, andis not a substitute for
professional medical or mentalhealth advice, diagnosis, or
treatment.
If you have any questions aboutyour own medical experience or
mental health needs, pleaseconsult a professional.
I'm Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse.
Thanks for joining me.
And until we chat again,remember don't feed the fear.
Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we
dive into the complex world offood allergy anxiety.
I'm your host, Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse, food allergyanxiety psychologist and food
allergy mom.
Whether you're dealing withallergies yourself or supporting
someone who is, join us for anempathetic and informative
journey toward food allergy calmand confidence..
amanda-whitehouse--phd- (00:23):
Welcome back to Don't Feed the Fear for
a very special episode.
It's our birthday, um, actuallymore than one birthday this
summer.
We have been celebrating myoldest son's birthday, which is
my one who has food allergies,his dad's birthday, my birthday,
and the month of July alsomarks one year since I launched
the Don't Feed The Fear Podcast.
(00:43):
So I wanted to record anepisode to say thank you so much
to everybody who has beenhelping me along the way.
I knew that there were morepeople out there that I could
reach through my privatepractice who were managing food
allergy anxiety and needed somesupport.
I'm so surprised at how eagerso many of you were to listen at
(01:03):
how generous people within thefood allergy community were to
share their time with me asguests.
And their expertise and theirstories.
So thank you to everyone whohas been helping the podcast
grow faster and farther than Iever imagined it would.
It's so cool.
My kids have been watching withme, how each episode, we have
listeners now in every state andon every continent, and it just
(01:25):
blows me away.
I love getting your messages,your emails, hearing your
stories, hearing your questions,and knowing that my little
corner of the food allergy worldis resonating with so many of
you.
The most common question I'vegotten about the show is why I
named it Don't Feed the Fear.
I use that phrase so much in mywork, and with myself and my
(01:49):
family that it was justautomatic for me to choose it as
the name of my podcast.
To me, "don't feed the fear" isa reminder that fear and
anxiety are normal, especiallywhen you or your child is
navigating life with foodallergies.
It's a given.
Fear is a survival response andit's a sign that our bodies'
protective mechanisms areoperating as they should be when
(02:11):
they show up in response tosomething that has caused harm
in the past or is potentiallydangerous.
So while fear is unavoidable,what we do with it is a choice,
and that's what we're talkingabout this summer, is the
choices that we do have, eventhough we didn't choose this
life managing allergies.
So in my work as a psychologistand in my own life, I've seen
(02:35):
how easy it is, especially forfood allergy parents to pour
enormous amounts of time,energy, and mental effort into
our fear.
We feed it, we track it, wetend to it.
We over prepare and overthink,and it's almost as if we cling
to it like it's protecting us.
It's this illusion that wehave, that the fear itself is
(02:57):
keeping us safe.
But what actually happens isthat the more we feed the fear,
the bigger and the louder itgets, and the more afraid we
become.
We believe we're only safe if weremain afraid, and we make
ourselves more afraid in theprocess, so the name Don't Feed
the Fear isn't about ignoringthe fear or pretending
(03:20):
everything is fine or eventrying to push it away.
It's a reminder to beintentional about what we are
feeding.
Is it fear or is it somethingelse?
Because when we stop feedingthe fear and start nurturing and
growing other things like ourconfidence, the information we
have at hand, our knowledgebase, our clarity, our courage,
(03:43):
the community that we'rebuilding around ourselves, the
boundaries that we need thatactually keep us safe,
connections with others, theability to self-regulate, which
if you've been listening, youknow, for me, comes down to that
nervous system piece.
If we nurture all of that andgrow those things, we don't just
(04:04):
feel less anxious, we feel morepowerful, more prepared, safer.
We feel more like ourselves.
So this podcast is about givingyou the tools, the science, the
resources, the information, thevalidation, and the support to
help you stop feeding the fearand choose what you'd like to
(04:25):
feed.
And I have to admit thatstarting the show entailed some
fear for me as a working mom whois already way overstretched.
And on top of that, it seemslike every time our family
experiences a big step in ourfood allergy freedom, or I get
brave enough to take a big stepout of my mom world and my
comfort zone and do somethingthat's a little more focused on
(04:47):
my own work or myself.
I seem to get thrown a curveball, so.
One of the first ones was aftermy son had just completed his
OIT treatment.
He was in maintenance.
That was such a commitment thatI managed most of, and I
finally felt ready to take thebig step of traveling solo for
(05:07):
this professional conferencethat I really wanted to attend,
and I thought, now's the time.
He's ready.
We can do this.
And unfortunately while I wasaway at that conference, he had
a middle of the night mysteryreaction at home.
I woke up to a 3:00 AM phonecall as the ambulance was
arriving at my house and theneighbor was coming over to stay
(05:29):
with the other kids so myhusband could go to the
emergency room, I was up allnight on speaker with the ER
staff helping to figure out theproblem and solve the mystery,
and to help my son feel calmerand more secure.
And of course, the rest of myconference was a bust because I
was so stressed and just sleepdeprived.
(05:50):
But he made it through it okay.
And then last year things hadcalmed down.
I thought I could take on thispodcast finally, which I had
been wanting to do for a longtime.
I announced the show, Irecorded the first episode, and
just before I published thatvery first episode, he had
another one of those nighttimemystery reactions.
(06:12):
So both times he was okay.
We did eventually get to thebottom of what was going on,
which I might share a little bitmore about at some point down
the road on the podcast.
So things were feeling betteragain, we solved the mystery.
Then last month, I took off toChicago for the Center for Food
Allergy and Asthma Research,summit in Chicago.
(06:34):
No reactions this time, thankgoodness, but.
While I was gone, our house mayor may not have been struck by
lightning.
It might have been a powersurge.
Nobody knows for sure,apparently, and everyone is
okay.
Some very expensive electronicswere destroyed.
My sons lost their video gameprogress that had been saved on
(06:56):
one of the video game consoles,which of course was tragic for
them.
But everyone is safe andhealthy, so I am not
complaining.
I did my trip.
Everything worked out okay andinstead of taking it as a bad
omen and a sign that I shouldnot go anywhere and have a life
of my own, I'm choosing veryactively to take away some
(07:17):
important reminders from this.
Number one is the obvious thatI can't control everything.
There's no way to avoid being alittle anxious when I leave my
kids.
And there's also no way tocontrol everything, stop or
anticipate or prevent everythingbad that could ever happen.
And so this is a reminder thatliterally the last thing that I
would think would happen while Iwas gone, would happen.
(07:39):
There's nothing that I can doabout it.
But number two is (07:40):
my family can be okay without me.
Even when that happens, theyfunction just fine.
I don't have to do everythingand they'll still be okay.
So as much as I feel likeeverything falls on my shoulders
and I have to carry it all.
And I know a lot of otherparents managing allergies feel
this way, like they're the onethat everything falls onto.
(08:01):
These were good reminders thateveryone can handle their
allergies.
They know how to respond evenin the emergencies, even in the
completely unexpected eventswithout me.
And last, this has been reminderafter reminder for me that the
good things and the hard thingsare never going to exist
separately from each other.
They will always coexist andboth of them will make demands
(08:25):
of our nervous systems.
That push pull of stress andgrowth is how we expand our
capacity.
And that isn't something to beavoided.
It's something to be acceptedas the nature of life.
So I always fall into this wayof thinking where, where I'm
tricking myself, into thinking,oh, we're in the clear now.
(08:45):
Things should be good.
We should, we should be calmfor a while, as if I have
achieved some plateau within mylife where I can stave off any
surprises or emergencies.
It's never gonna happen.
So I am working on beingthankful for it all.
I'm also working this summer onputting the time in to allow for
that growth and that expansionfrom everything that has been
(09:06):
going on to integrate that andto fill back up my reserves from
t he energy that it has taken.
So I've been refocusing ontaking really good care of my
nervous system, using all thetools that I know to keep myself
healthy and keep up with thenew demands and new
responsibilities of my newprojects and all the other
(09:27):
surprises that pop up along theway.
And I want to invite you to dothat with me.
So again, we're talking aboutoptions and choices.
We don't always have control,but we do have a choice about
how we respond and the skillsand the coping skills that we
use.
I'll be sharing more of that onInstagram You can follow me
there@thefoodallergypsychologist.
(09:48):
Maybe I'll even get around togetting on TikTok, even though
I'm a little bit avoidant ofsocial media.
And I'll continue to beteaching those things on the
show, but many of you havereached out to me and my very
full therapy practice doesn'thave room for everybody.
So I've created another groupthat I'm gonna be opening in the
(10:10):
fall where we'll have a groupexperience.
It's for food allergicindividuals, it's for food
allergy parents, where we as agroup will walk
through. understanding how foodallergy life trains and sets up
the nervous system to stay inhigh alert and how we can change
that and we'll create this safegroup and community among which
we can do that.
And it's usually a very niceexperience because the
(10:33):
validation and the support thatwe can offer one another while
we're learning new informationand trying to incorporate it.
At the conclusion of that group,there will be an option to
continue on together with thegroup, with one of my absolute
favorite tools that I usepersonally and professionally to
support nervous system healingand growth.
And it's called the Safe andSound Protocol, or the SSP.
(10:54):
So the SSP is a research-backedsound therapy that stimulates
the vagus nerve to improveemotional regulation, to
decrease anxiety and stresssymptoms.
It has truly helped to shiftthe baseline in our household
and with many of my clients, andthe truth is that I sought this
(11:15):
out for myself when I washaving some health issues, and I
discovered it.
I wanted to try it, and Icouldn't find a practitioner, so
I just completed thecertification program and
purchased the program for myselfto use at home.
Then I used it with my familybefore I ever even incorporated
it into my therapy practice.
That's how excited I was to getstarted with it once I found
(11:36):
out about it.
The safe and sound protocol is anon-invasive.
Evidence-based therapeuticintervention.
It was developed by StevenPorges, who you might have heard
of.
He created polyvagal theory,and at its core, the SSP is
designed to help to regulate thenervous system by gently
(11:56):
stimulating the vagus nerve withsound and the vagus nerve plays
a huge role in how we processour sense of safety and
connection and threat.
The vagus nerve is the longestcranial nerve in the body
connecting the brain.
Down into the abdomen to allthe major organs like the heart,
the lungs, the digestivesystem.
So it plays the key role inregulating the nervous system,
(12:19):
particularly turning on and offthe body's shift between stress
and calm states.
It's the line of communicationbetween the information that's
coming into the body, throughthe senses, which is how it
interprets whether there is athreat, and then sending the
message to the body systems thatrespond depending on whether or
(12:40):
not it interprets that we aresafe or we're in danger.
So it is what receives a signalthrough what we see, what we
hear, what we feel around us.
And then if it perceivesdanger, it triggers your rapid
heartbeat, your shallowbreathing, your tense muscles,
heightened alertness, uh, thethat surge of adrenaline and
cortisol, which is preparing usto respond to an emergency
(13:04):
situation.
What the SSP actually looks likein practice is very simple.
It just involves listening toespecially filtered music that
has been engineered to stimulateand tone the vagus nerve and
calm the body's stress response.
You listen using over the earheadphones for short periods of
time.
It's very gradual.
You do a little bit each day,spread out over time with the
(13:28):
support of a trained providerwho understands the nervous
system The sound waves of themusic have been acoustically
altered in a way that challengesthe middle ear muscles and
directly stimulates the vagusnerve.
So this process helps to resetand regulate the autonomic
nervous system, moving it out offight, flight, or freeze, and
into a more socially engaged,receptive, calm, and connected
(13:52):
state.
Why does this matter, especiallyin the context of food allergy
life?
Because when our nervoussystems are.
Constantly perceiving a threat,which if food is dangerous to
you, that's almost all the time.
The nervous systems can startto believe that they need to be
in survival mode all the time.
(14:12):
This can happen after traumaticreaction years of hyper
vigilance, chronic stress.
And it makes it reallydifficult to access the part of
our brain that feels safe enoughto problem solve, to rest, to
connect with others, to bepresent in our experiences, or
for some people even to eat andto feel that those things are
safe to do.
So the SSP helps to soften thatconstant internal alarm,
(14:36):
desensitize the trigger, andhelp it to shift on and off more
appropriately.
It's not a cure all, and it'snot a magic wand, but it does
create a foundation of.
Physiological safety in thebody, which then allows us to
access everything else a littlebit easier.
We have a moment of pause toutilize the coping skills or the
(14:58):
language skills or theself-control that we possess,
but can't access when the bodyis responding instantaneously.
So if you are interested inworking more closely with
me, those are the opportunitiesto do so.
The small group will bebeginning this September of
2025.
And if you're listening farafter that date, check my
(15:19):
website because I will repeatthis at some time in the future.
That group will includeeducation, creating community
and support, practicing skills,and then the option to
transition into the group SSPexperience to train the nervous
system and to desensitize thatchronic fight or flight
response.
(15:40):
If you wanna learn more abouteither one, check out the link
in the show notes or go to theservices link on my website, the
food allergy psychologist.com.
If either one of those soundslike a good fit for you, I would
love to support you.
And moving forward with theshow, I'm looking forward to
continuing to supporting you tooand providing resources for
(16:01):
you.
I've been thinking a lot aboutwhat the year ahead might look
like and what would be fittingto share what not to share, a
lot of the questions I get areabout personal experiences or
about my work experiences, andso I've been just very carefully
considering how to balance whatI share with personal stories,
with professional insight in away that feels appropriate and
(16:23):
comfortable.
You will be hearing more soonabout our allergy journey in my
home, including my son'sexperiences with.
High sensitivity, multipletreatments, and um, getting to a
point where we are inmaintenance for all of those
things now and in a much betterspot.
I've got a whole season ofepisodes that will be coming
with experts about the differenttreatment options available,
(16:45):
from the medical lens.
And along with that, I will beproviding support with you
through our story and myprofessional perspective about
how to juggle the mental healthside of that, considering
options.
Choosing an option if it'sright for you, and then how to
navigate that.
And I'm also working on a veryexciting project that will be
going along with that and shouldbe ready soon if you want
(17:07):
deeper support with navigatingthat topic.
So if you don't wanna miss anyof those things, make sure you
subscribe to the show, whereveryou listen to it, so you'll hear
all about it.
You can also subscribe to myemail list.
Through my website, the foodallergy psychologist.com.
And in addition to sharing moreabout our personal journey, I've
(17:29):
given a lot more considerationto what stories to share and how
to share work experiences in away that feels not just ethical,
but considerate and respectfulof all of my current and past
clients.
There's one thing with thisthat I wanna be very clear
about.
Whenever I share stories frommy work, know that I would
(17:49):
never, ever share a detail thatcould identify a specific
client.
The ethics of my field, saythat I have to do that, but do
say that it's okay to share.
As long as the client isn'tidentifiable.
To me, that's not going farenough.
I would never want a client tolisten to my show and know that
I was talking about themspecifically, even if nobody
else would ever know it.
(18:10):
So I will only ever shareclient experiences if they are
things that multiple people haveshared with me, have
experienced, have felt, havesaid during sessions.
So if you're a client listeningand you think I'm talking about
you, please know it's probablyabout you and at least a handful
of other people, if not dozensof other people who have felt
similarly.
I take confidentiality very,very seriously.
(18:34):
But I also think about thatrelational impact of me having a
practice.
But being here on the show, Iwould never want a current or a
former client to hear somethingand know it was them, even if no
one else knew.
I would never want to harm ourtrust or make anybody
uncomfortable who has put theirtrust in me as their provider.
As much as I am aprofessional and have that
(18:57):
perspective to share here, Iwant you as listeners to know
that first and foremost, I'm amom and I am one who is in the
trenches with you.
I don't have magic fixes and Icertainly don't always get it
right with myself or with my ownkids, and I struggle sometimes
too, but I really do believe inthis work.
I think it's so important todevote our time and energy to as
(19:18):
much as it is to our medicaltreatments and our physical
safety.
And so I'm trying to live thatalongside of you as I talk about
it here on the show.
I'm really grateful to do thatwith you together.
You're giving me the motivationto stay focused on it and even
to learn more, the way that Ihave with all of the great
interviews that I've been doingand researching my guests and,
(19:40):
and learning about the thingsthat they're offering.
So this has been so worthwhilefor me too, and I've grown so
much more in the past year thanI anticipated doing.
As we wrap up this birthdayepisode, here is what I am
asking of you for your actionsteps.
1. If you would like to send abirthday gift my way or a
birthday gift the way of theshow, please leave a rating or a
(20:02):
review.
A review for Don't feed thefear wherever you listen to it
and2. Share the show with somebody
who might benefit from it,whether it's.
Someone individually that youknow personally if you're part
of a group, if you have your ownaudience that you think would
benefit from it.
Any form of sharing orreviewing the show would mean so
much to me to help me grow andreach more people who might
(20:25):
benefit from listening.
3. The last one is to pleasejust stay in touch, message me,
email me your thoughts, yourreactions, your questions.
I am planning to start doingsome q and a episodes based on
the comments and questions thatare coming in, and for some
shorter things, hopefully somemore Instagram posts and time
here.
So the more that I hear fromyou, the better idea I'll have
(20:46):
of the topics that more peoplewould really like for me to talk
more about.
And I intend to be here foranother year, continuing to
share the reminders, theexamples, the information, and
all the great people that I'mmeeting to help you heal and
manage your own stress andanxiety through the episodes and
my posts.
And if it's right for you, I'dlove to connect with you and my
(21:07):
food allergy small groupexperience too, and or the safe
and sound.
Protocol group, the SSP, youcan find information about all
the things that I do on mywebsite, the food allergy
psychologist.com.
You can contact me throughthere and you could reserve your
spot for any of those groups ifyou wanted.
I am really looking forward toconnecting more closely with
(21:28):
those of you who are resonatingwith this piece of what I've
been sharing on the show in thatformat.
Whatever way you're connectingwith me, whether you're
listening quietly and notresponding at all, which a lot
of you are doing, and if you areparticipating or interacting, I
appreciate all of that.
Whatever level of connection isright for you, I'm glad that
I've been able to find a way toprovide that.
(21:49):
So I hope that whatever you'rereceiving from me is a reminder
that you are not alone.
You're not doing anythingwrong.
Your feelings are valid givenall the experiences that you
have had, and those of us hereunderstand that you don't have
to just accept the stress andthe anxiety and the trauma.
There are things that you cando to help.
(22:10):
I will keep trying to sharethem with you as much as I can.
So again, thank you truly forspending time with me for the
past year.
Thank you to all the amazingguests who took so much time to
join me and were patient with meas I was learning how to do
these things.
I'll be tagging all of you inmy posts this week, and thank
you to all of you for listening.
I'll see you next time, and nowyou know in depth a little bit
(22:32):
more.
What I mean when I say to you,don't feed the fear
Speaker (22:41):
the content of this podcast is for informational and
educational purposes only, andis not a substitute for
professional medical or mentalhealth advice, diagnosis, or
treatment.
If you have any questions aboutyour own medical experience or
mental health needs, pleaseconsult a professional.
I'm Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse.
Thanks for joining me.
And until we chat again,remember don't feed the fear.
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