August 19, 2025 • 46 mins
In this heartfelt and honest conversation, I sit down with Lyndsie Iiams, a fellow homeschooling food allergy mom and social media creator, to talk about how our journeys led us to educate our children at home. Neither of us ever expected to homeschool, but food allergies reshaped how we viewed our children’s safety, learning environment, and emotional well-being.
We discuss the myths about homeschooling, the challenges, the unexpected joys we’ve discovered, and why our decisions were not driven solely by fear. We share our deep respect for teachers and the incredible work they do, while acknowledging that for our families, this path has been a better fit for our families.
Whether you’re a food allergy parent curious about homeschooling, a professional supporting these families, or simply someone interested in alternative education, this episode offers perspective, encouragement, and practical considerations for making informed choices.
Special thanks to Kyle Dine for permission to use his song The Doghouse for the podcast theme!
www.kyledine.com
Find Dr. Whitehouse:
-thefoodallergypsychologist.com
-Instagram: @thefoodallergypsychologist
-Facebook: Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, Food Allergy Anxiety Psychologist
-welcome@dramandawhitehouse.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:01):
Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we
dive into the complex world offood allergy anxiety.
I'm your host, Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse, food allergyanxiety psychologist and food
allergy mom.
Whether you're dealing withallergies yourself or supporting
someone who is, join us for anempathetic and informative
journey toward food allergy calmand confidence..
(00:21):
For many food allergy parents,navigating school systems can
feel like a balancing act,managing safety, trust, and our
children's needs while wantingthem to thrive socially and
academically.
Today I'm joined by LyndsieIiams.
A fellow homeschooling foodallergy mom, and a food allergy
advocate who's sharing about herfamily's journey and all of the
interconnected parts,homeschooling, managing food
(00:44):
allergies, healthy living andcooking, living on a budget, and
even a little bit of adorablefashion thrown in there.
We talk about how both of ourpaths to homeschooling our
families began.
the misconceptions, thesurprising freedoms, the right
and wrong reasons to do it, theways Homeschooling has allowed
us to create a learningenvironment that works for our
families and our kids, andappreciating the privilege of
(01:07):
having choices.
We are not here to convince youto homeschool.
We are not recruiting for thehomeschooling squad, but we did
wanna have an open conversationabout this because we know that
there are people out there whoare curious about it just like
we once were.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (01:21):
Lyndsie, thank you so much for being here
on the show.
I am so excited to connect withyou.
We have so much in common andI'm excited to talk to you about
it.
Yes, thanks so much for havingme.
Of course.
I'm so glad we connected and youwere so open and willing to just
get to know each other and, andtalk about this thing that I
feel like is not all thatuncommon, but for some reason I
just don't think we hear a lotabout it out there.,
(01:43):
Specifically within the foodallergy community, do you hear
people talking a lot abouthomeschooling?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (01:48):
Um, not so much like on social
media.
Uh, publicly.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but I am in a few likeallergy mom groups where I see
more homeschool moms.
Yeah.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (02:03):
Yeah.
And I was thinking almost it'sthe opposite in the allergy
community.
I don't see a lot of talk aboutit, but in the homeschool
communities, I know a lot of thepeople are talking about their
food allergies there.
So it's kind of like, where dothey overlap in that Venn
diagram?
Right.
So you are on social mediasharing about your homeschooling
journey, How did you end updeciding to create this account
(02:24):
to share about it?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (02:26):
Well, so we found out my kiddo had
food allergies when he was sixmonths old and um, I just knew
that I couldn't go back to workand I didn't really want to put
him in a school setting, and Ijust felt so alone.
Food allergies, and I wanted thewhole world to know that he has
(02:49):
food allergies.
If anybody ever spotted my kidout somewhere, I want them to
know that he's the GTO with foodallergies.
Not to like separate him, butlike to keep him safe.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (02:59):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (03:00):
And so it just felt natural in a way
for me to just talk about it andto spread awareness.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (03:08):
You have two kids?
I do.
Okay.
Your younger son?
Does he not have any foodallergies?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (03:13):
He does not.
Um, it wasn't always that way.
When he was about nine monthsold, he did react to garlic
powder, like full-blown facehives and all over his neck.
Um, and so we got him tested andhe did positive through blood
work to garlic.
Okay.
(03:33):
And then when we did that bloodwork, we had him tested for like
a full panel and then he cameback allergic to peanuts.
So I was very afraid that he'dbe allergic to peanuts.
Um, but then when he hit about,uh, it was one and a half or
two, we did a food challengewith him, um, for peanut butter,
and he passed and theneventually we did garlic years
(03:55):
later and he passed that aswell.
So.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (03:57):
That's good.
Garlic seems like it'd be veryhard to avoid.
I'm, I come from an Italianfamily, so maybe I'm biased, but
it's in almost everything.
Right?
And it's not a Top 9.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiek (04:07):
Right.
Isn't everything.
And actually, you know, so ourallergist was like, avoid garlic
at all costs.
But I was giving him sausage.
Just cut it up real small.
And then I looked up theingredients one day and I was
thinking, you know, I don't seegarlic in this.
I'm gonna email the company andthey said, yes, we do in fact co
(04:30):
our.
Our sausage with garlic.
So I had been giving it to himall the time, but it was cooked.
I gave our allergist that andthey said, okay, well we should
move forward with like, givinghim a food challenge.
Or you know, just keep on givingthat to him.
That's what we did.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (04:49):
How soon did you decide then that you
were gonna homeschool When didyou make the decision?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (04:54):
Oh, I, I remember mother-in-law
saying to me when it comes timeto put him in school, and it was
like immediate, right when shesaid that, it was like, I don't
think I can put him in school.
I can't, put him in a class fullof 25 to 30 kids where you have
one, maybe two teachers tosafely.
(05:15):
Educate him with all the classparties that you have and all
the projects that you know, havefood that are involved.
I, it was just immediate aftershe said that, and it was, he
was probably two, I would think,but it was always in the back of
my mind, like I, I didn't wantto drop him off at a daycare.
(05:37):
I didn't.
I wanna put'em in school.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm from South Carolinaoriginally, and there it was, I
got so much crap.
I got so much feedback and itwas, it was not comfortable, um,
because homeschooling is notprominent there.
(05:59):
And so I immediately became thisparent that was.
You know, the helicopter parentand, you know, I was not doing
the traditional thing of sendinghim to school.
But then, uh, my husband got ajob offer, which would
ultimately put us in Oklahoma.
And when we were consideringthat, I looked at the Oklahoma
(06:23):
laws, homeschool laws, and theywere free.
Compared to what it is in SouthCarolina, there's a lot of rules
and regulations.
And it was kind of like, I thinkthis is meant to be, I think
we're meant to be in Oklahomaand we moved out here when he
was five.
Um, and that would be here thatwe actually started
(06:45):
homeschooling.
And it was amazing because theneighborhood that we moved into,
I mean probably a third of usare homeschooled
Dr. Amanda Whitehous (06:56):
homeschool families.
Oh.
Did you know that?
Is that how you chose your home?
No.
No.
Oh my goodness.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (07:04):
No,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (07:05):
that's wonderful.
I'm, I'm a little jealous as I'mhearing you talk because it was,
it's, I'm in New York and wehave a highly regulated
homeschool law situation goingon up here.
So I just finished this week.
My educational plans are due tothe school district and I was
going through, I've got threekids spread out across all the
ages, so I'm going through thechecklist of hours in which
subjects for each one, um, andit's totally worth it.
(07:27):
I don't mind doing it.
Um, sure.
How free is it there?
How much do you have to reportand, and share with your school
district that you're doing Zero.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsi (07:37):
Nothing.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (07:38):
Nothing.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (07:38):
Oh my goodness.
I know but I keep records infolders of everything.
Mm-hmm.
Because I feel like not maybeone day it won't always be like
that.
And I like to, you know, I'm onethat protects everything at all
costs, so,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (07:55):
yeah.
But yeah.
Yeah, it's good and it's good Ithink, just to track your own
progress and know what you'vecovered and things like that
probably too.
Right?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (08:03):
Yes..
I don't like to hold ontoeverything in life, like I'm
very minimalist, but when itcomes to their schoolwork and
their records, a thousandpercent, even their medical
records, I've got medicalbinders.
You just never know.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (08:16):
Well, as allergy moms, we're kind of
primed to do that anyway, right?
I'm thinking of my binders andfolders of all the years and
years of blood work and youknow, putting them in excel.
Documents to compare them overtime and all that stuff Yes.
It's a good skill to have ifyou're gonna homeschool your
kids Right.
I just keep thinking about howyou moved into this neighborhood
with all of these homeschoolers,because I had such an opposite
(08:38):
experience.
I went a school psychologist bytraining, I had no intention to
homeschool either.
We moved into this districtthat's like one of the best
school districts.
And of course this.
School taxes are outrageous andI set up this whole experience
to have a wonderful, amazingschool future ahead for my kids.
And now we're not utilizing manyof it.
Yes.
(08:58):
there are some homeschoolers inour neighborhood.
Um, I think people have thismisconception that as
homeschoolers we are isolated.
And of course, you know, oh no,are kids getting socialized?
That stereotypical question thatwe get, and here you are with a
third of your community.
All right there togetherhomeschooling.
Tell me what it's like for you,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (09:17):
Well, that part of it is amazing, but
I did get a lot of.
Kickback in the very beginningof, you know, so your kids
getting socialized, but being inthis community, like we have a
pond next door and a playground,a couple houses down, and, um,
it, it's just so funny becauselike this morning, you know,
(09:39):
with all intentions of waking upand doing our schoolwork.
I kind of go with their flow,right?
I don't wanna push them.
I, if they're not willing to sitdown in our classroom, then I'm
not gonna get anywhere withthem.
They wanted to go fishing.
My kid, my boys love fishing.
And so they went to the pond andthen lo and behold, 15 minutes
(10:01):
later, the kids down the streetcome over and now school's
already started and where weare, um, like public school and
so.
You know, at nine 30 in themorning, they're fishing with
other kids in the neighborhood.
We just had a slow morning Atthat point.
I had breakfast and got somequiet time to myself, and I
walked out on the front porch,my cup of coffee in hand, and I
(10:23):
just looked over at them andthat's just so.
Gratifying for me.
I mean, they are socializing andthey're outside, they're in
nature and they're doing whatthey love.
And I let them spend an hour outthere and they came inside and I
sat down with my youngest and hemay have smelled like fish, but.
(10:49):
We knocked out language arts,you know,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (10:51):
It sounds so picturesque.
First of all, you know, I thinka lot of people are reminiscent
for these childhoods that a lotof us had when we were younger.
That don't happen anymore'causekids are so busy and
overscheduled.
And I think we disregard thewisdom that kids have.
Like if your kids woke up andit's beautiful outside and they
just know what they need toregulate and be ready for school
and it's not diving right in.
(11:12):
I bet he was so much moreproductive and attentive after
doing that for a little bit.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (11:17):
Yes.
Yes.
They love basketball too, soit's like.
After we get done language arts,if you wanna go down the street
and play basketball for 30minutes and then come back and
let's tackle another subject,that's what we can do.
You're right, it's verypicturesque and I'm so grateful
for it.
But please don't get me wrong,not every day, right?
(11:40):
Not every day is easy.
And there are so many strugglesand there are questions of can I
do this?
Am I.
You know, qualified to be doingthis.
Should I be doing this?
Would they be further along if,they were in a classroom
setting?
But I'm just trusting theprocess.
I believe that, parents can bethe perfect teachers.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (12:03):
100% of I even more so appreciate teachers
now because I have three athome.
I can't imagine having aclassroom full of kids.
Absolutely no shade whatsoeverto teachers or or public
schools.
Or private schools, but at homeIt's so individualized in terms
of what they need to mastersomething.
So if reading at school is a 45minute class, but my son only
(12:26):
needed.
15 minutes to grasp the concept,but then later in the day, math
was harder for him and he neededmore time with that.
I think when you say, are theygonna be behind?
Or am I qualified to do this?
I think as long as we're inconnection with the kids and
what they need, we can customizeit so much to what they're
actually needing, it's comparingapples to oranges, it's just so
different that we meet theirneeds in a different way when
(12:47):
it's so personalized.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (12:50):
A thousand percent.
I love to see how their brainswork, but what I need to equip
their brains to work, right?
So individualized learning.
I have one kid that's learns waydifferent, than the other.
So., And also I give it teachersbecause like you said, you have
(13:15):
three and I have two, and
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (13:18):
it's
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (13:18):
hard.
What's the hardest part for you?
Oh, that is a great question.
Um, I think the hardest part forme is just continuing to tell
myself that I'm enough and thatwe, we are doing enough.
(13:39):
Um, because I'll always wonder,I think I'll always wonder if,
if they will eventually thriveoff of what I've given them at
home.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (13:52):
What do you do when that thought or that
emotion pops up?
How do you manage it or how doyou work yourself through it?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (13:59):
I picture them at school where
they've never been and.
I think about them being thereversus in the safety of our
home.
And I don't just say that, withjust food allergies.
I think about every, I thinkabout a lot of things.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (14:17):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (14:18):
Um, and so I just, I work through
that, that way.
I talk to my husband, I pray,and I ultimately just give them
the best that I can and hopethat God kind of fills in the
gaps.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (14:33):
We can go with the flow in terms of what's
coming up to us and finding agap and, and then adjusting the
sails accordingly.
That's one of the things that I,when I fall into that spot, I
remind myself it's necessary,again, when you're educating a
large group of kids, moving themthrough to make sure that
someone doesn't fall through thecracks.
But if there are things that weacknowledge, whether it's
(14:54):
academic or any other area thatthey need, we can have the
freedom and the flexibility totake care of it when we realize
it's a need.
Right.
Right.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (15:05):
Yes,
Dr. Amanda Whitehou (15:06):
absolutely.
So what's the easiest part orthe best part?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (15:11):
Just the, uh, fluidity of
homeschooling and.
Like watching them think andbeing there for every moment and
knowing like I have brought themin this far.
Um, the, it's very rewarding inthat part, um, knowing that they
(15:36):
are learning under our roof andI am keeping them as safe as I
can.
Um.
There's a lot of great parts,just a couple days ago, we were
playing a math game and it waslike a level that was a grade
level above than what myyoungest is at.
(15:57):
And so my oldest already knewlike all questions, right?
I mean, it hit everything likefractions and addition,
subtraction, multiplication,and.
When my youngest grabbed a cardand it was fractions, and I knew
that he hadn't done fractionsyet, it's like, oh, I know that
he's not gonna know this, right,because we haven't touched that.
(16:20):
So in fact, he did know, like heknows half like, sure.
It was like, what is this halfof something?
But it was labeled as a fractionquestion.
So I.
I knew that it wasn't, thatwe've touched base with, but he
also, he knows when something'son sale and 50% off, he knows
how to do that math.
(16:41):
So anyway, it's just knowinglike where he is like it, it's
knowing, I don't know.
I think about parents who dosend their kids off to school
and it's like, how much do youknow of what your kid has
learned already?
Does it make sense?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (16:59):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (17:00):
I know every book that he's read,
you know, like every game thathe's played.
It's just knowing all thosethings is so satisfying and
gratifying to me.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (17:10):
There's something to be said for having
teacher after teacher and, andmultiple adults in your kids'
life that are a positiveinfluence.
Yes.
But there's also, for us,something to be said.
Of us holding that wholerepository of information and
remember back in first, youknow, when you were nine and we
went to this museum and we canconnect some of the dots that
can't be connected by teacherswho haven't been there all the
(17:31):
way through, I find.
Yes.
Well said.
You made me think of one of myfavorite parts, which I just
thought was the coolest, mostrewarding experience was to be
the one.
To see my kids reading unfold,to see them unlock that and the
way that the world opens up tothem once they can start to read
and parents get to experiencethat with their kids too.
(17:53):
But there just was a differentlevel of that one.
I was the one giving that tothem in a way.
I don't know if, have you had amoment like that where it's
like, this is the coolest thingI could give you?
Yeah, for sure.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsie (18:05):
Reading is a struggle for one of my
kiddos.
Um, so I wish I could have thatsame thing with reading, but
definitely in different areasI've had that
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:15):
it's so interesting how two kids in the
same house or my case, threekids all in the same house, and
one thing can be.
Come so easily for one, and forthe other one, for it to be so
different and for them to eachhave their own strengths that I
think we get to emphasize, it'sall about you and what you need
at every step of the way.
Yes.
Yeah.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (18:34):
Were you homeschooled?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:36):
I wasn't,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (18:37):
were
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:37):
you?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (18:38):
No.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:38):
No, I
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsie (18:39):
wasn't.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:39):
I kinda wish I was.
I do too.
I, to be fair, I love school.
I, I was in a small town.
I had great teachers.
I'm still in touch with many ofthem.
I had a great education and Ihave nothing against it, but I,
yes, I wish that I could havebeen because.
I would've just eaten it up,like being able to dive into
subjects and to, to share themwith my parents in a way that,
(19:02):
you know, when I was so excitedabout something new that I was
learning.
How about you?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (19:07):
No, I was not homeschooled.
Um, and but wasn't from a smalltown like you were.
That sounds dreamy though.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (19:15):
It was, it was very like old fashioned,
good old, good old fashionedchildhood that I had.
Your educational experiencewasn't great.
No,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (19:25):
it wasn't.
I didn't learn a lot in school.
We weren't pushed, you know, andit was like all about memorizing
things just to take that test.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (19:36):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (19:38):
And so I am redoing my education
with my kids, and I've said thismultiple times.
I will probably go to collegewith them too.
We were part of a co-op for fiveyears that was so fantastic.
They did public speaking and Ilooked at them from the time
(19:59):
that they were four and five.
You know, getting up in front oftheir class and doing these
presentations, I'm like, man,this is amazing.
And what it's equipping themfor.
They've come so far, they'vecome so far.
I Wish that I was just pushedmore and I was always, I think,
(20:21):
um, seen as a smart kid inschool and I was, don't get me
wrong, like I knew, um, I knewhow to study and to get ready
for the test, but I didn'tnecessarily care about my
academics.
I was in all the clubs.
Um.
But I, I would've loved to dothis learning alongside my
(20:44):
parents.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (20:45):
Well, and it, for me, it's really exciting
now to get to do it.
Like you, you know, you saidyou're, you're redoing your
education.
And for me that's really funbecause I'm discovering now.
History is so fascinating, Ilove learning, again, the stuff
that wasn't my strongestinterest when I was younger.
And I think it sets a goodexample of the fact that we can,
(21:05):
right?
I think the values aroundeducation have changed because
we all have a computer in ourpocket, so if you don't know the
date of something, you can lookit up.
If you can't remember how todivide that fraction, you can
look it up.
But if you know how to learn,and even more importantly, if
you like learning, like if youfind it interesting when you
don't know something to seek outthe answer, I think that's more
important than any specificinformation that they retain.
(21:28):
Absolutely.
I totally agree.
You mentioned your co-op, Idon't know if a lot of people
out there who don't homeschoolknow that we have these groups.
It sounds like maybe you're notin it anymore, but let's talk
about our co-ops a little bit.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (21:41):
Yeah.
This is gonna blow your mind.
I think when we moved here, itwas just so perfect.
Not only the community that wemoved into, but the co-op that
we joined.
I had.
Talked to the director andtalked about our food allergies,
and that was ultimately thereason why I started Ling.
(22:02):
She moved me to a co-op wherethere were already kiddos that
had food allergies and most ofthose co-ops, it was like, bring
your own lunch to co-op kind ofdeal.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (22:13):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (22:14):
This specific co-op had a community
lunch that just left out theallergens.
And I think at the time that wejoined there was like a peanut
allergy, a gluten allergy, andthen we were coming in with milk
and egg, or there already was amilk and egg allergy.
So.
(22:35):
I became the lunch lady for theco-op.
I prepared lunch for like 40kids that were gluten free,
peanut free, milk free and eggfree.
So I would assign each family tobring something and yeah, it was
great.
We did that for five years and Iloved that because one of my
(23:00):
fears was like even in a co-op.
You know, kids like eat snackslike Cheetos or something, and
then not wipe their hands andthen Everybody's sharing, and
now you have this Cheeto residueon those crayons.
And so, although like somethingtopical like.
(23:21):
My son does get hives.
Um, if he touches his allergen,it wouldn't necessarily harm him
unless he put his fingers in hismouth, but at that age, a
younger age.
I mean, that could happen,right?
So anyway, just having thecommunity that I can control,
um, you know, we did have snacktime and I had, I created a list
(23:44):
of snacks that everybody couldbring that was free.
Of those allergens, it workedout really great.
What type of location did youmeet in?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (23:55):
It was at a church.
Okay.
All right.
Ours wasn't quite as extensiveas yours.
The co-op that we're with nowused to meet at a church in a,
in, you know, a school space inthe church.
Um.
They also are, it's a peanut andtree nut-free co-op.
And then there are a lot offamilies with other allergens
too.
Um, but we, they just, we justdon't do meals together.
Now, when we first joined, oh mygosh.
(24:17):
So, okay.
So I had kind of a nightmareexperience when I first joined.
It wasn't the the co-op's fault,but it was just the perfect
storm of like, life not going myway at that moment.
Yeah, so I had a 4-year-old, a,a toddler just over one, and
then a, well, he was almost two,and then a baby just under one.
They were really close togetherand showed up at this co-op
(24:39):
trying to, you know, join in andget myself outta the house with
this kid that I just decided tohomeschool.
Thinking all's gonna be well,right?
It's a peanut tree nut freeco-op, but of course, the.
The lunch room where we ate wasused by other people So like the
very first day there was peanutbutter smeared under the table
and my son got into that.
And then we were in a musicclass and my toddler ran away
(25:01):
and my, I didn't have anythingto hold my baby in.
So like some strangers holdingmy baby while I chased my
toddler down.
Then we go out for recess.
There's walnuts.
All over the playground.
Oh my, my son starts gettinghives.
I scoop up all three kids andrun to the bathroom.
I leave my phone on theplayground.
One of the, the mom who washolding my baby earlier in the
day that I didn't even know,chased me down with my phone.
And then Lindsay, we get homeand we happen to have
(25:24):
contractors cleaning our, um,like our air ducts in the house
that day.
I'm just like, ready to comehome and collapse and cry.
Right.
And I put my, the youngest downon the floor who's not walking
yet, but, and he just crawlsacross.
The the floor and startsscreaming and I pick him up and
he has these little spirals ofmetal in his hands and his knees
because apparently where theydrilled into the metal ducts,
(25:47):
they scattered these shards.
All through the house one of theworst days of my life.
But this co-op that I love andis amazing, the first day that I
went there is like just anightmare of all of these awful
things happening.
Kudos
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (26:02):
to you for facing that and
returning back.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (26:06):
Thank you.
We, we finished that semesterand we took a break and then,
because just with the littleones and him being so young, you
know, I, I don't know if I canaccept the kudos fully because I
did like.
Shy away for a little bit.
Um, but now, so we don't have acentral location, but we, we
have field trips.
We do some online stuff.
We have clubs.
We, you know, meet at differentpeople's houses and get together
(26:27):
all the time.
But even more so though it's soflexible, like people can just
create the same way you'reco-oped, just create what works
for them and for the familieswho are involved.
It's, again, it's not just theacademics that are so
individualized.
The whole experience can becustomized to the families
involved.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsi (26:43):
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah.
do y'all have, are y'all insports at all or do you have
like sports teams
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (26:49):
My youngest is the only one who
likes sports and he does somecommunity sports, the first and
second didn't really care aboutit.
How about you?
Because you said your kids playbasketball too?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (26:57):
Yes, They both play basketball, one
plays baseball, and my husbandcoaches both teams, just simply
because my kiddos have askedthem to do that.
Um, and fortunately he'sflexible enough to do it.
Um, but we are just like theYMCA, sports club, in like our,
our city youth group here.
(27:17):
Mm-hmm.
But yeah.
Um.
Of course we, we don't play withthe schools.
We're still at, you know, likelittle league type stuff.
It's working for us right now.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (27:29):
That's great.
Apparently the homeschool laws,which are different from state
to state, say that the, theschools can allow homeschoolers
to participate.
Right.
But they don't have to, so mostof them choose not to.
Um, but, but you think it istough just in terms of.
Other kids getting that muchmore experience that, and you
know, it's great if your kid canplay on a school team and it's
(27:51):
free.
And I have to pay for everymusic lesson and sports event
but, you know, any, anythingthat my kids wanna do that they
might be getting as an amazingresource at school comes out of
our pockets, which is a toughpart of it.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (28:03):
You nailed it.
Yep.
A thousand percent.
It gets so expensive.
Yeah.
And I'm constantly like on mysocial media, like I'm saying,
on a budget or on a budget, likewe do this, but on a budget
because I wanna nail home thatit's not easy and like you are
making huge sacrifices.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (28:23):
I think people don't realize we still
pay our school taxes.
I've had people ask me that somany times, like, oh, if you
don't send your kids, you don'thave to pay.
Right.
I'm like, oh, we still do, andthen there's the income thing
too.
So I don't know if you wereworking before you had kids or
thought you would have been, ormaybe you still are, how do you
navigate that part of things?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (28:40):
Um, so.
I was working in banking when Ihad my oldest, and I did not go
back after having him, uh,because I wanted, if anything, I
wanted to just work part-time.
I did get 12 weeks maternityleave or, um, yeah, uh, I tried
to go back as a newbornphotographer at the hospital
(29:02):
that didn't work out.
Um, I just could not stand to beaway from him.
Of course, I'm breastfeeding andpumping and all the things.
Um.
My husband said, okay, just stayhome.
Let's do this.
And for about two years I wasjust at home, nothing for
income.
(29:22):
But then I felt like I neededincome.
I did vinyl for a long time.
Um, and then I started workingfor Pampered Chef.
I mean, not careers, right?
Just things to make a littlebit.
Of money at home.
Um, and then two and a halfyears ago, I started, um, Amazon
(29:44):
influencing and then like UGCcreation, making videos for
brands.
And that's treated me reallywell.
My kids can be involved.
Um, I'm a huge thrifter and myoldest loves to thrift with me
and I resell.
So do I have a career?
(30:04):
No, but I do help make in incomefor the
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (30:08):
family.
Yeah.
And you don't have to answerthis if it feels too personal,
but does that work for you?
Because I think some people feellike that's fine and some people
feel like they're a person whoreally needs a career.
There's no wrong or right.
But I'm just curious how itfeels for you.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (30:23):
Sure.
I am totally happy with it.
And content and satisfied.
Um.
I, I didn't have, I, I don'thave a college education.
I didn't put a lot of money intoschool and so I just kind of
feel like this is my calling isthem first.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (30:46):
I think in a way, we all Find ourselves
in this position of what my kidsneed from me is what I'm
supposed to be doing, whether itinvolves a career or not.
Obviously I have tried tomaintain my career and make it
work for my family, which I'm sothankful is, is part of why we
can homeschool.
Um, because I can, you know,kind of be flexible.
But I think all of us just wantto do what's best for our kids
(31:07):
and what, what we ended upneeding to be as moms that we
didn't know was gonna be askedof us.
Right.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiek (31:13):
That's right.
Absolutely.
I mean, I, I love looking atother communities, like kids
with diabetes and just otherthings.
Um, we kind of align in the sameways.
It's like, I, I just follow somany other moms on social media
who are doing everything theycan to benefit their kids.
You make it work.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (31:33):
Yeah, you just find a way.
Yeah, I find that there are alot of people, it's almost like
this taboo thing.
Tell me if people say this toyou, but they're like, I kind of
wanna homeschool too, but Idon't think we could make it
work.
And they don't talk about it.
I don't think much to people intheir lives.
And I just want people to knowthat even if on the surface it
seems which sometimes it isoverwhelming.
Yes.
Sometimes it's, it's amazing andoverwhelming.
(31:56):
Um.
But there are ways to make itwork and to be flexible with it
that I don't think people knoware possibilities.
And I just would encouragepeople to look into it if they
want to, but think they can't.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (32:06):
Yes, totally.
And yes, I have had mom say thatto me a lot, and I just wanna
scream and yell and say, if I amdoing it, anybody can do it.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (32:18):
Right.
Right.
We make it work just likeeverything else.
I never thought I could raise achild with severe food allergies
and, you know, to the level ofextreme reactions my kid used to
have and figure out all of that.
And, and I figured it out and wewould've figured it out if we
ended up sending him to schoolas well.
Um, but just like that, you justlearn as you go and you figure
(32:39):
it out.
Right.
Right.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (32:42):
I, you touched on a, a point there.
Um, so when my husband and Imet, he could tell you that I
was not a good cooker.
I mean, I messed up blue boxmacaroni and cheese.
And we, we laugh at that now athow far I've come because now
I've got my, my binder and myrecipes and I teach our kiddos
(33:06):
to cook.
And that's school too.
Right?
And, uh.
We have fun with it.
And him, Scott and I, my husbandand I, we used to eat out all
the time when it was just himand I.
And even when our son was just ababy, we would eat out a lot, as
I think a lot of families do.
Or maybe, maybe they don't, Idon't know.
But we don't, now we cookeverything.
(33:27):
Mm-hmm.
And when we vacation, wevacation where there's places
where there's a kitchen where Ican still cook.
So.
Yeah, I, it's not even just thehomeschool thing, um, but it's
like, who knew that I could whipup a dish like that?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (33:43):
Right.
And then the, the way you'redescribing it explains what I
think.
At least it has become, for usthe whole, it's all one big
picture of what kind of lifewe're creating for our kids that
we didn't set out to, to do.
I wasn't homeschooled.
I, I, like I said, I'm a schoolpsychologist.
I fully intended to send my kidsto school and work in a school
and have the summers off withthem.
Um, but it's all part of this.
(34:07):
A picture of the way our life isunfolding and people feel like,
oh, you can't go to a restauranton vacation.
And I'm like, I saved$1,500 onmy vacation because we didn't
eat out three meals a day.
And you know, no judgment towhat you eat, but we actually
like eating this way that wefind is healthier for us.
And all of these, they're allconnected, right?
It's not, it is littledecisions.
(34:29):
It really is.
My goodness.
Let's talk just a little bitmore about.
The impact that you think it hason the actual food allergy
management for you or for yourkiddo?
How do you find homeschooling tofit into that piece of the
puzzle?
Well,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (34:42):
it's really easy for them to go fix
themselves lunch, and I knowit's in the kitchen and it's
literally one less thing for meto think about.
I mean, which is so helpfulbecause even when.
We're out at a field trip,right?
(35:03):
I'm always worried about thesafety of our kiddos.
So let's say, say we're fishing,you know, all the kids are
fishing.
And even though my kids know howto fish and they're comfortable
with hooking a worm and a hook,you know, I'm still, my thoughts
are still on their safety.
And then kids bring out snacksand like I'm talking to a mom.
(35:23):
But I know that the kiddo thatmy.
My kiddo is sitting next to, iseating a pack of Cheetos.
My mind is still on, you know,managing that activity so when I
can put them in our home.
And the safety of our home withmanaging what I, I know what
(35:44):
they're eating.
It's just one last thing for meto think about.
I mean, and they, they'reprofessionals.
They get in the kitchen.
I'm not even kidding.
They whip up a sandwich.
And it's just an, it's so nicethat I no longer have to fix
those lunches for them.
And sometimes I do, you know, ifI am, maybe if I'm making a
salad and they want a salad too,I'll make them that salad.
(36:06):
Or if we're out of a dressing,like a salad dressing, you know,
I'm, I make a lot of our saladdressings from scratch, then
I'll, I'll make that dressingfor them real quick.
You know, it's just.
It's just really nice.
It's, yeah.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (36:19):
And such a good skill for your kids to
have.
I mean, I find the same withmine obviously, especially if
you have food allergies, cookingis a great skill and when
they're home and able to do it,you know, any kid can learn to
cook, but when they're off atschool and then they have
activities afterward and thenhomework, there's not
necessarily a time in the day toteach them to do it the way your
kids can just, you know, wanderin and, and make something.
(36:39):
So I love that they.
Just happen to learn that andhave the space to learn it in a
natural way.
Part of what you said that'sreally important too, the way
that you feel when you're outand there might be an allergen
in proximity or on surfaces, youknow.
The kids that I work with arethinking about those things when
they're in school, so not all ofthem.
And obviously everyone's levelof reactivity is different, and
it's different with akindergartner whose hands are in
(37:01):
their mouth than it is with a10th grader.
But.
People will say like, well,there's allergens in the world.
You can't protect them from themall the time.
Yeah.
Trust me, we know that, right?
Yes, we understand, but can I,can I remove that worry?
Is this a child who wouldbenefit from that worry being
removed so that they can learntheir best?
Not necessary for everybody, butI think for many kids that is
(37:22):
really beneficial in theiracademics.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (37:25):
I completely agree.
Completely agree.
My oldest, he's always been oneto not be like touchy with other
kids.
And you know when you getyounger kids, like they touch a
lot.
Oh yeah.
They're in their space andbecause he is homeschooled, I
think He's not a touchy kid andbecause also his food allergies,
(37:47):
so maybe it's just nothomeschool.
Maybe it's his food allergensand he doesn't know where your
hands have been, which, trust meas a mom, I'm a, I'm totally
okay with that.
I've always been okay with that.
But like at our co-op, there waslike a hand holding activity,
you know, years ago and like hejust did not, he was not feeling
it and he kind of shut down and.
(38:07):
Even though that was his safespace, it was just like, he
didn't want to touch.
Mm-hmm.
And so I had to tell him, Hey,look, it's okay.
Speak up.
Use your voice.
You, you're not comfortable withthat.
And so knowing that's how he wasin a safe space, you know, put
that in a a, a school setting,he, I believe he would've broken
(38:30):
down and not spoken up, youknow?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (38:32):
Right.
Right.
It's difficult for kids to dothat for a lot of reasons, and I
think just, I think you knowthis, but just to let you off
the hook, I don't think he's nottouchy feely because of you
being homeschoolers.
I mean I see.
I'm sure you do too.
The whole range of it, you know,from, from kids, and I think you
know that.
We do a lot of that in terms oflike, oh no, is this, at least I
do.
Is this because we homeschoolhim?
(38:53):
Is he struggling with this or isthis this way?
And I think our kids are prettymuch, we know as moms, oh yeah.
That he was that way since hewas two.
Right?
So a lot of this stuff that wewant to worry about, I think is
our kids are who they are, andwe can expand upon that.
We can celebrate it, we canteach them things that are more
challenging for them, but Idon't think we have to blame
(39:15):
ourselves for.
You know, any of their traits orcharacteristics on
homeschooling, yes.
They're gonna, for the mostpart, become, who they are
inside.
Yes, totally.
As we wrap up, what do you wantpeople to know or understand
about homeschooling, foodallergies?
The overlap of the two that wedidn't get to?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (39:35):
I read something that you posted
the other day and it said it wasalong the lines of.
Be careful, not fearful.
And man, that has reallyresonated with me and I have
said it to Waylon my son acouple of times now.
Um, so I'm gonna use, you know,take a, a piece of your puzzle
(40:00):
and say that because if you areconsidering homeschooling, but
you're letting fear take overand talk you out of it.
I would just say be careful andnot fearful because, um, it's
doable and it gets there and itgets easier and you, you learn,
you know, the years stack up oneach other and you learn from
(40:24):
the last year what didn't work.
And you can always modifythings.
Um, if you're, if you'reconsidering it, but you think
that you can't do it, pleaseknow that you are capable.
And it may turn out to be the,the best thing that's ever
happened.
Absolutely.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (40:42):
And if it's not, you can change gears,
right?
You can always send them back ifyou wanna send them back to
school.
And I think one of the things,I'm glad that that line
resonated.
I think it's a really, just areally short, quick way to
shift, right?
To remind ourselves, and I wannasay the same neither you or I
are here.
Trying to convince people thatthey should homeschool their
kids.
Like we're not recruiting.
(41:02):
Right?
Yeah.
We're just trying to talk aboutwhat something that we love.
But I also, you know, I'vetalked to a lot of families in
my therapy practice who, whowant to homeschool out of fear
and I.
Don't encourage them to do that.
Mm-hmm.
So, you know, just as you'resaying, don't be afraid of
homeschooling, but don't alsouse homeschooling as a way to
run away from all of the, thethings that do cause you fear,
(41:23):
because you know, that's not theplace to do it from.
We want to be careful aboutchoosing the homeschool and not
fearful, and we, we want to, dothe same with the allergy
management.
We don't wanna just run in fear.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (41:36):
You nailed this.
You nailed this.
I've gotta say this reallyquick.
And thank you for saying thatbecause when, after I had my
second and I was postpartum anddealing with all the emotions
and then, having my half yearold and then a newborn, and then
cooking all the things, justjuggling all the things.
(41:56):
I did go to therapist because Iwas having like all kinds of
depression and stuff.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (42:02):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (42:02):
And she asked me.
The same question, um, that mymother-in-law had asked me at
one point, like, what are yougonna do when it comes to
school?
Right?
And I had mentionedhomeschooling.
And so we dove into that and shesaid, I need to tell you
something.
And I said, what is that?
She said, I, it's great that youwanna homeschool, but if you
(42:25):
choose to do that, don't letfood allergies be the reason
that you homeschool.
Find it within your heart.
To to be a reason, um, becauseyou may resent things later.
Dr. Amanda Whitehou (42:41):
Absolutely.
Choose it because it's what'sright for you.
Yes.
And I think the benefit for meof food allergies is I never
would've considered it.
I never would've even thought ofit as a possibility and
discovered that it was such agood fit for us, if not.
You agree,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiek (42:57):
right?
Yes.
And I have been asked if it's,if it wasn't for food allergies,
would you homeschool?
Have you ever been asked that?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:03):
Yeah, I have.
And I a hundred percent.
I never would've even thought ofit.
You.
No.
No.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (43:10):
Man, I'm so glad.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:12):
Me too.
Oh my gosh.
And my kids are so glad.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (43:15):
I'm so glad.
Just because it works like it's,it's a
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:19):
fit for
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (43:19):
us.
That's
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:20):
why I say that.
Well, good.
Well, I'm happy for both of usand I'm so glad that I connected
with you.
I know a lot of the peoplelistening are going to want to
follow you if they're notalready.
Every time I see what you share,it just makes me smile.
Um, so please tell people wherethey can find you.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (43:33):
Sure.
So I am Lyndsie K.
L-Y-N-D-S-I-E-K-A-Y onInstagram, um, on TikTok.
I'm food allergy mama, M-O-M-M-Atwo.
I try to keep these things allthe same everywhere.
It's not easy.
Yeah.
(43:53):
Um, and then I just created aFacebook, um, it's called the
Lyndsie K Edit and I like to beon all the things, so
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (44:03):
there you go.
I'll put all of that in the shownotes for people who wanna find
you and, I'm so glad that we gotto connect and that you came
here to chat with us about it.
Thank you so much.
Yes, thank you, Amanda.
I
Lyndsie Iiams (@lynd (44:13):
appreciate you
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (44:13):
inviting me
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (44:14):
and having me.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (44:15):
It was fun.
Bye.
the message that Lyndsie and Iwanna leave you with today is
that there's no one right way toeducate a child.
So if homeschooling has been onyour mind for years, this is the
first time you've considered it.
We hope that we've given you alittle insight into our lives
and what it's like and why we'vechosen it.
If homeschooling is not workingfor you or your child, whether
(44:37):
it's due to food allergies orany other reason, we just want
you to know that it's anotheroption that is possible, so if
you're curious.
Here are three action steps youcan take to learn more.
You can follow Lyndsie on all ofher socials that she just shared
with you on Instagram atLyndsie, K-L-Y-N-D-S-I-E-K-A-Y,
(44:59):
on TikTok at Food Allergy Mamatwo, and Mama is M-O-M-M-A.
And on Facebook at the atLyndsie Kay edit.
I'll also put all of those linksin the show notes for you.
Number two.
You can follow my social media.
I don't always remind everybodyhere on the podcast that I am
trying to start sharing a littlebit more on Instagram and
(45:21):
Facebook at the food allergypsychologist.
And if people are curious, I canshare more about homeschooling,
both from my perspective as aparent and through my
professional lens as someonetrained as a school psychologist
and now homeschooling her ownchildren outside of the public
school system.
Number three, where LindsayLives School is already back in
(45:42):
session here where I live.
Kids are just gearing up to goback after Labor Day.
Wherever you are in thatprocess, consider this a
reminder to just pause and thinkthrough how school is going for
your child, what they or you areexcited about for the upcoming
school year.
What maybe didn't work well lastyear, what they're dreading.
(46:03):
What the challenges are andthink outside of the box in
terms of considering solutionsto those whatever they may be.
Our journeys might all lookdifferent, but we all share the
same goal, which is helping tokeep our kids safe, help'them
feel safe and supported in a waythat allows them to do their
best learning.
If you enjoyed thisconversation, please share it
with a friend If you're enjoyingthe show, leave a rating or a
(46:25):
review., So that the show cangrow and we can continue
learning from each other.
Thanks for listening.
the content of this podcast isfor informational and
educational purposes only, andis not a substitute for
professional medical or mentalhealth advice, diagnosis, or
treatment.
If you have any questions aboutyour own medical experience or
mental health needs, pleaseconsult a professional.
(46:46):
I'm Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse.
Thanks for joining me.
And until we chat again,remember don't feed the fear.
Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we
dive into the complex world offood allergy anxiety.
I'm your host, Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse, food allergyanxiety psychologist and food
allergy mom.
Whether you're dealing withallergies yourself or supporting
someone who is, join us for anempathetic and informative
journey toward food allergy calmand confidence..
(00:21):
For many food allergy parents,navigating school systems can
feel like a balancing act,managing safety, trust, and our
children's needs while wantingthem to thrive socially and
academically.
Today I'm joined by LyndsieIiams.
A fellow homeschooling foodallergy mom, and a food allergy
advocate who's sharing about herfamily's journey and all of the
interconnected parts,homeschooling, managing food
(00:44):
allergies, healthy living andcooking, living on a budget, and
even a little bit of adorablefashion thrown in there.
We talk about how both of ourpaths to homeschooling our
families began.
the misconceptions, thesurprising freedoms, the right
and wrong reasons to do it, theways Homeschooling has allowed
us to create a learningenvironment that works for our
families and our kids, andappreciating the privilege of
(01:07):
having choices.
We are not here to convince youto homeschool.
We are not recruiting for thehomeschooling squad, but we did
wanna have an open conversationabout this because we know that
there are people out there whoare curious about it just like
we once were.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (01:21):
Lyndsie, thank you so much for being here
on the show.
I am so excited to connect withyou.
We have so much in common andI'm excited to talk to you about
it.
Yes, thanks so much for havingme.
Of course.
I'm so glad we connected and youwere so open and willing to just
get to know each other and, andtalk about this thing that I
feel like is not all thatuncommon, but for some reason I
just don't think we hear a lotabout it out there.,
(01:43):
Specifically within the foodallergy community, do you hear
people talking a lot abouthomeschooling?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (01:48):
Um, not so much like on social
media.
Uh, publicly.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but I am in a few likeallergy mom groups where I see
more homeschool moms.
Yeah.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (02:03):
Yeah.
And I was thinking almost it'sthe opposite in the allergy
community.
I don't see a lot of talk aboutit, but in the homeschool
communities, I know a lot of thepeople are talking about their
food allergies there.
So it's kind of like, where dothey overlap in that Venn
diagram?
Right.
So you are on social mediasharing about your homeschooling
journey, How did you end updeciding to create this account
(02:24):
to share about it?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (02:26):
Well, so we found out my kiddo had
food allergies when he was sixmonths old and um, I just knew
that I couldn't go back to workand I didn't really want to put
him in a school setting, and Ijust felt so alone.
Food allergies, and I wanted thewhole world to know that he has
(02:49):
food allergies.
If anybody ever spotted my kidout somewhere, I want them to
know that he's the GTO with foodallergies.
Not to like separate him, butlike to keep him safe.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (02:59):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (03:00):
And so it just felt natural in a way
for me to just talk about it andto spread awareness.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (03:08):
You have two kids?
I do.
Okay.
Your younger son?
Does he not have any foodallergies?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (03:13):
He does not.
Um, it wasn't always that way.
When he was about nine monthsold, he did react to garlic
powder, like full-blown facehives and all over his neck.
Um, and so we got him tested andhe did positive through blood
work to garlic.
Okay.
(03:33):
And then when we did that bloodwork, we had him tested for like
a full panel and then he cameback allergic to peanuts.
So I was very afraid that he'dbe allergic to peanuts.
Um, but then when he hit about,uh, it was one and a half or
two, we did a food challengewith him, um, for peanut butter,
and he passed and theneventually we did garlic years
(03:55):
later and he passed that aswell.
So.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (03:57):
That's good.
Garlic seems like it'd be veryhard to avoid.
I'm, I come from an Italianfamily, so maybe I'm biased, but
it's in almost everything.
Right?
And it's not a Top 9.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiek (04:07):
Right.
Isn't everything.
And actually, you know, so ourallergist was like, avoid garlic
at all costs.
But I was giving him sausage.
Just cut it up real small.
And then I looked up theingredients one day and I was
thinking, you know, I don't seegarlic in this.
I'm gonna email the company andthey said, yes, we do in fact co
(04:30):
our.
Our sausage with garlic.
So I had been giving it to himall the time, but it was cooked.
I gave our allergist that andthey said, okay, well we should
move forward with like, givinghim a food challenge.
Or you know, just keep on givingthat to him.
That's what we did.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (04:49):
How soon did you decide then that you
were gonna homeschool When didyou make the decision?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (04:54):
Oh, I, I remember mother-in-law
saying to me when it comes timeto put him in school, and it was
like immediate, right when shesaid that, it was like, I don't
think I can put him in school.
I can't, put him in a class fullof 25 to 30 kids where you have
one, maybe two teachers tosafely.
(05:15):
Educate him with all the classparties that you have and all
the projects that you know, havefood that are involved.
I, it was just immediate aftershe said that, and it was, he
was probably two, I would think,but it was always in the back of
my mind, like I, I didn't wantto drop him off at a daycare.
(05:37):
I didn't.
I wanna put'em in school.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm from South Carolinaoriginally, and there it was, I
got so much crap.
I got so much feedback and itwas, it was not comfortable, um,
because homeschooling is notprominent there.
(05:59):
And so I immediately became thisparent that was.
You know, the helicopter parentand, you know, I was not doing
the traditional thing of sendinghim to school.
But then, uh, my husband got ajob offer, which would
ultimately put us in Oklahoma.
And when we were consideringthat, I looked at the Oklahoma
(06:23):
laws, homeschool laws, and theywere free.
Compared to what it is in SouthCarolina, there's a lot of rules
and regulations.
And it was kind of like, I thinkthis is meant to be, I think
we're meant to be in Oklahomaand we moved out here when he
was five.
Um, and that would be here thatwe actually started
(06:45):
homeschooling.
And it was amazing because theneighborhood that we moved into,
I mean probably a third of usare homeschooled
Dr. Amanda Whitehous (06:56):
homeschool families.
Oh.
Did you know that?
Is that how you chose your home?
No.
No.
Oh my goodness.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (07:04):
No,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (07:05):
that's wonderful.
I'm, I'm a little jealous as I'mhearing you talk because it was,
it's, I'm in New York and wehave a highly regulated
homeschool law situation goingon up here.
So I just finished this week.
My educational plans are due tothe school district and I was
going through, I've got threekids spread out across all the
ages, so I'm going through thechecklist of hours in which
subjects for each one, um, andit's totally worth it.
(07:27):
I don't mind doing it.
Um, sure.
How free is it there?
How much do you have to reportand, and share with your school
district that you're doing Zero.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsi (07:37):
Nothing.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (07:38):
Nothing.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (07:38):
Oh my goodness.
I know but I keep records infolders of everything.
Mm-hmm.
Because I feel like not maybeone day it won't always be like
that.
And I like to, you know, I'm onethat protects everything at all
costs, so,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (07:55):
yeah.
But yeah.
Yeah, it's good and it's good Ithink, just to track your own
progress and know what you'vecovered and things like that
probably too.
Right?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (08:03):
Yes..
I don't like to hold ontoeverything in life, like I'm
very minimalist, but when itcomes to their schoolwork and
their records, a thousandpercent, even their medical
records, I've got medicalbinders.
You just never know.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (08:16):
Well, as allergy moms, we're kind of
primed to do that anyway, right?
I'm thinking of my binders andfolders of all the years and
years of blood work and youknow, putting them in excel.
Documents to compare them overtime and all that stuff Yes.
It's a good skill to have ifyou're gonna homeschool your
kids Right.
I just keep thinking about howyou moved into this neighborhood
with all of these homeschoolers,because I had such an opposite
(08:38):
experience.
I went a school psychologist bytraining, I had no intention to
homeschool either.
We moved into this districtthat's like one of the best
school districts.
And of course this.
School taxes are outrageous andI set up this whole experience
to have a wonderful, amazingschool future ahead for my kids.
And now we're not utilizing manyof it.
Yes.
(08:58):
there are some homeschoolers inour neighborhood.
Um, I think people have thismisconception that as
homeschoolers we are isolated.
And of course, you know, oh no,are kids getting socialized?
That stereotypical question thatwe get, and here you are with a
third of your community.
All right there togetherhomeschooling.
Tell me what it's like for you,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (09:17):
Well, that part of it is amazing, but
I did get a lot of.
Kickback in the very beginningof, you know, so your kids
getting socialized, but being inthis community, like we have a
pond next door and a playground,a couple houses down, and, um,
it, it's just so funny becauselike this morning, you know,
(09:39):
with all intentions of waking upand doing our schoolwork.
I kind of go with their flow,right?
I don't wanna push them.
I, if they're not willing to sitdown in our classroom, then I'm
not gonna get anywhere withthem.
They wanted to go fishing.
My kid, my boys love fishing.
And so they went to the pond andthen lo and behold, 15 minutes
(10:01):
later, the kids down the streetcome over and now school's
already started and where weare, um, like public school and
so.
You know, at nine 30 in themorning, they're fishing with
other kids in the neighborhood.
We just had a slow morning Atthat point.
I had breakfast and got somequiet time to myself, and I
walked out on the front porch,my cup of coffee in hand, and I
(10:23):
just looked over at them andthat's just so.
Gratifying for me.
I mean, they are socializing andthey're outside, they're in
nature and they're doing whatthey love.
And I let them spend an hour outthere and they came inside and I
sat down with my youngest and hemay have smelled like fish, but.
(10:49):
We knocked out language arts,you know,
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (10:51):
It sounds so picturesque.
First of all, you know, I thinka lot of people are reminiscent
for these childhoods that a lotof us had when we were younger.
That don't happen anymore'causekids are so busy and
overscheduled.
And I think we disregard thewisdom that kids have.
Like if your kids woke up andit's beautiful outside and they
just know what they need toregulate and be ready for school
and it's not diving right in.
(11:12):
I bet he was so much moreproductive and attentive after
doing that for a little bit.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (11:17):
Yes.
Yes.
They love basketball too, soit's like.
After we get done language arts,if you wanna go down the street
and play basketball for 30minutes and then come back and
let's tackle another subject,that's what we can do.
You're right, it's verypicturesque and I'm so grateful
for it.
But please don't get me wrong,not every day, right?
(11:40):
Not every day is easy.
And there are so many strugglesand there are questions of can I
do this?
Am I.
You know, qualified to be doingthis.
Should I be doing this?
Would they be further along if,they were in a classroom
setting?
But I'm just trusting theprocess.
I believe that, parents can bethe perfect teachers.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (12:03):
100% of I even more so appreciate teachers
now because I have three athome.
I can't imagine having aclassroom full of kids.
Absolutely no shade whatsoeverto teachers or or public
schools.
Or private schools, but at homeIt's so individualized in terms
of what they need to mastersomething.
So if reading at school is a 45minute class, but my son only
(12:26):
needed.
15 minutes to grasp the concept,but then later in the day, math
was harder for him and he neededmore time with that.
I think when you say, are theygonna be behind?
Or am I qualified to do this?
I think as long as we're inconnection with the kids and
what they need, we can customizeit so much to what they're
actually needing, it's comparingapples to oranges, it's just so
different that we meet theirneeds in a different way when
(12:47):
it's so personalized.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (12:50):
A thousand percent.
I love to see how their brainswork, but what I need to equip
their brains to work, right?
So individualized learning.
I have one kid that's learns waydifferent, than the other.
So., And also I give it teachersbecause like you said, you have
(13:15):
three and I have two, and
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (13:18):
it's
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (13:18):
hard.
What's the hardest part for you?
Oh, that is a great question.
Um, I think the hardest part forme is just continuing to tell
myself that I'm enough and thatwe, we are doing enough.
(13:39):
Um, because I'll always wonder,I think I'll always wonder if,
if they will eventually thriveoff of what I've given them at
home.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (13:52):
What do you do when that thought or that
emotion pops up?
How do you manage it or how doyou work yourself through it?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (13:59):
I picture them at school where
they've never been and.
I think about them being thereversus in the safety of our
home.
And I don't just say that, withjust food allergies.
I think about every, I thinkabout a lot of things.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (14:17):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (14:18):
Um, and so I just, I work through
that, that way.
I talk to my husband, I pray,and I ultimately just give them
the best that I can and hopethat God kind of fills in the
gaps.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (14:33):
We can go with the flow in terms of what's
coming up to us and finding agap and, and then adjusting the
sails accordingly.
That's one of the things that I,when I fall into that spot, I
remind myself it's necessary,again, when you're educating a
large group of kids, moving themthrough to make sure that
someone doesn't fall through thecracks.
But if there are things that weacknowledge, whether it's
(14:54):
academic or any other area thatthey need, we can have the
freedom and the flexibility totake care of it when we realize
it's a need.
Right.
Right.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (15:05):
Yes,
Dr. Amanda Whitehou (15:06):
absolutely.
So what's the easiest part orthe best part?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (15:11):
Just the, uh, fluidity of
homeschooling and.
Like watching them think andbeing there for every moment and
knowing like I have brought themin this far.
Um, the, it's very rewarding inthat part, um, knowing that they
(15:36):
are learning under our roof andI am keeping them as safe as I
can.
Um.
There's a lot of great parts,just a couple days ago, we were
playing a math game and it waslike a level that was a grade
level above than what myyoungest is at.
(15:57):
And so my oldest already knewlike all questions, right?
I mean, it hit everything likefractions and addition,
subtraction, multiplication,and.
When my youngest grabbed a cardand it was fractions, and I knew
that he hadn't done fractionsyet, it's like, oh, I know that
he's not gonna know this, right,because we haven't touched that.
(16:20):
So in fact, he did know, like heknows half like, sure.
It was like, what is this halfof something?
But it was labeled as a fractionquestion.
So I.
I knew that it wasn't, thatwe've touched base with, but he
also, he knows when something'son sale and 50% off, he knows
how to do that math.
(16:41):
So anyway, it's just knowinglike where he is like it, it's
knowing, I don't know.
I think about parents who dosend their kids off to school
and it's like, how much do youknow of what your kid has
learned already?
Does it make sense?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (16:59):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (17:00):
I know every book that he's read,
you know, like every game thathe's played.
It's just knowing all thosethings is so satisfying and
gratifying to me.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (17:10):
There's something to be said for having
teacher after teacher and, andmultiple adults in your kids'
life that are a positiveinfluence.
Yes.
But there's also, for us,something to be said.
Of us holding that wholerepository of information and
remember back in first, youknow, when you were nine and we
went to this museum and we canconnect some of the dots that
can't be connected by teacherswho haven't been there all the
(17:31):
way through, I find.
Yes.
Well said.
You made me think of one of myfavorite parts, which I just
thought was the coolest, mostrewarding experience was to be
the one.
To see my kids reading unfold,to see them unlock that and the
way that the world opens up tothem once they can start to read
and parents get to experiencethat with their kids too.
(17:53):
But there just was a differentlevel of that one.
I was the one giving that tothem in a way.
I don't know if, have you had amoment like that where it's
like, this is the coolest thingI could give you?
Yeah, for sure.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsie (18:05):
Reading is a struggle for one of my
kiddos.
Um, so I wish I could have thatsame thing with reading, but
definitely in different areasI've had that
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:15):
it's so interesting how two kids in the
same house or my case, threekids all in the same house, and
one thing can be.
Come so easily for one, and forthe other one, for it to be so
different and for them to eachhave their own strengths that I
think we get to emphasize, it'sall about you and what you need
at every step of the way.
Yes.
Yeah.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (18:34):
Were you homeschooled?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:36):
I wasn't,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (18:37):
were
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:37):
you?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (18:38):
No.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:38):
No, I
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsie (18:39):
wasn't.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (18:39):
I kinda wish I was.
I do too.
I, to be fair, I love school.
I, I was in a small town.
I had great teachers.
I'm still in touch with many ofthem.
I had a great education and Ihave nothing against it, but I,
yes, I wish that I could havebeen because.
I would've just eaten it up,like being able to dive into
subjects and to, to share themwith my parents in a way that,
(19:02):
you know, when I was so excitedabout something new that I was
learning.
How about you?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (19:07):
No, I was not homeschooled.
Um, and but wasn't from a smalltown like you were.
That sounds dreamy though.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (19:15):
It was, it was very like old fashioned,
good old, good old fashionedchildhood that I had.
Your educational experiencewasn't great.
No,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (19:25):
it wasn't.
I didn't learn a lot in school.
We weren't pushed, you know, andit was like all about memorizing
things just to take that test.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (19:36):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (19:38):
And so I am redoing my education
with my kids, and I've said thismultiple times.
I will probably go to collegewith them too.
We were part of a co-op for fiveyears that was so fantastic.
They did public speaking and Ilooked at them from the time
(19:59):
that they were four and five.
You know, getting up in front oftheir class and doing these
presentations, I'm like, man,this is amazing.
And what it's equipping themfor.
They've come so far, they'vecome so far.
I Wish that I was just pushedmore and I was always, I think,
(20:21):
um, seen as a smart kid inschool and I was, don't get me
wrong, like I knew, um, I knewhow to study and to get ready
for the test, but I didn'tnecessarily care about my
academics.
I was in all the clubs.
Um.
But I, I would've loved to dothis learning alongside my
(20:44):
parents.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (20:45):
Well, and it, for me, it's really exciting
now to get to do it.
Like you, you know, you saidyou're, you're redoing your
education.
And for me that's really funbecause I'm discovering now.
History is so fascinating, Ilove learning, again, the stuff
that wasn't my strongestinterest when I was younger.
And I think it sets a goodexample of the fact that we can,
(21:05):
right?
I think the values aroundeducation have changed because
we all have a computer in ourpocket, so if you don't know the
date of something, you can lookit up.
If you can't remember how todivide that fraction, you can
look it up.
But if you know how to learn,and even more importantly, if
you like learning, like if youfind it interesting when you
don't know something to seek outthe answer, I think that's more
important than any specificinformation that they retain.
(21:28):
Absolutely.
I totally agree.
You mentioned your co-op, Idon't know if a lot of people
out there who don't homeschoolknow that we have these groups.
It sounds like maybe you're notin it anymore, but let's talk
about our co-ops a little bit.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (21:41):
Yeah.
This is gonna blow your mind.
I think when we moved here, itwas just so perfect.
Not only the community that wemoved into, but the co-op that
we joined.
I had.
Talked to the director andtalked about our food allergies,
and that was ultimately thereason why I started Ling.
(22:02):
She moved me to a co-op wherethere were already kiddos that
had food allergies and most ofthose co-ops, it was like, bring
your own lunch to co-op kind ofdeal.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (22:13):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (22:14):
This specific co-op had a community
lunch that just left out theallergens.
And I think at the time that wejoined there was like a peanut
allergy, a gluten allergy, andthen we were coming in with milk
and egg, or there already was amilk and egg allergy.
So.
(22:35):
I became the lunch lady for theco-op.
I prepared lunch for like 40kids that were gluten free,
peanut free, milk free and eggfree.
So I would assign each family tobring something and yeah, it was
great.
We did that for five years and Iloved that because one of my
(23:00):
fears was like even in a co-op.
You know, kids like eat snackslike Cheetos or something, and
then not wipe their hands andthen Everybody's sharing, and
now you have this Cheeto residueon those crayons.
And so, although like somethingtopical like.
(23:21):
My son does get hives.
Um, if he touches his allergen,it wouldn't necessarily harm him
unless he put his fingers in hismouth, but at that age, a
younger age.
I mean, that could happen,right?
So anyway, just having thecommunity that I can control,
um, you know, we did have snacktime and I had, I created a list
(23:44):
of snacks that everybody couldbring that was free.
Of those allergens, it workedout really great.
What type of location did youmeet in?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (23:55):
It was at a church.
Okay.
All right.
Ours wasn't quite as extensiveas yours.
The co-op that we're with nowused to meet at a church in a,
in, you know, a school space inthe church.
Um.
They also are, it's a peanut andtree nut-free co-op.
And then there are a lot offamilies with other allergens
too.
Um, but we, they just, we justdon't do meals together.
Now, when we first joined, oh mygosh.
(24:17):
So, okay.
So I had kind of a nightmareexperience when I first joined.
It wasn't the the co-op's fault,but it was just the perfect
storm of like, life not going myway at that moment.
Yeah, so I had a 4-year-old, a,a toddler just over one, and
then a, well, he was almost two,and then a baby just under one.
They were really close togetherand showed up at this co-op
(24:39):
trying to, you know, join in andget myself outta the house with
this kid that I just decided tohomeschool.
Thinking all's gonna be well,right?
It's a peanut tree nut freeco-op, but of course, the.
The lunch room where we ate wasused by other people So like the
very first day there was peanutbutter smeared under the table
and my son got into that.
And then we were in a musicclass and my toddler ran away
(25:01):
and my, I didn't have anythingto hold my baby in.
So like some strangers holdingmy baby while I chased my
toddler down.
Then we go out for recess.
There's walnuts.
All over the playground.
Oh my, my son starts gettinghives.
I scoop up all three kids andrun to the bathroom.
I leave my phone on theplayground.
One of the, the mom who washolding my baby earlier in the
day that I didn't even know,chased me down with my phone.
And then Lindsay, we get homeand we happen to have
(25:24):
contractors cleaning our, um,like our air ducts in the house
that day.
I'm just like, ready to comehome and collapse and cry.
Right.
And I put my, the youngest downon the floor who's not walking
yet, but, and he just crawlsacross.
The the floor and startsscreaming and I pick him up and
he has these little spirals ofmetal in his hands and his knees
because apparently where theydrilled into the metal ducts,
(25:47):
they scattered these shards.
All through the house one of theworst days of my life.
But this co-op that I love andis amazing, the first day that I
went there is like just anightmare of all of these awful
things happening.
Kudos
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (26:02):
to you for facing that and
returning back.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (26:06):
Thank you.
We, we finished that semesterand we took a break and then,
because just with the littleones and him being so young, you
know, I, I don't know if I canaccept the kudos fully because I
did like.
Shy away for a little bit.
Um, but now, so we don't have acentral location, but we, we
have field trips.
We do some online stuff.
We have clubs.
We, you know, meet at differentpeople's houses and get together
(26:27):
all the time.
But even more so though it's soflexible, like people can just
create the same way you'reco-oped, just create what works
for them and for the familieswho are involved.
It's, again, it's not just theacademics that are so
individualized.
The whole experience can becustomized to the families
involved.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsi (26:43):
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah.
do y'all have, are y'all insports at all or do you have
like sports teams
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (26:49):
My youngest is the only one who
likes sports and he does somecommunity sports, the first and
second didn't really care aboutit.
How about you?
Because you said your kids playbasketball too?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (26:57):
Yes, They both play basketball, one
plays baseball, and my husbandcoaches both teams, just simply
because my kiddos have askedthem to do that.
Um, and fortunately he'sflexible enough to do it.
Um, but we are just like theYMCA, sports club, in like our,
our city youth group here.
(27:17):
Mm-hmm.
But yeah.
Um.
Of course we, we don't play withthe schools.
We're still at, you know, likelittle league type stuff.
It's working for us right now.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (27:29):
That's great.
Apparently the homeschool laws,which are different from state
to state, say that the, theschools can allow homeschoolers
to participate.
Right.
But they don't have to, so mostof them choose not to.
Um, but, but you think it istough just in terms of.
Other kids getting that muchmore experience that, and you
know, it's great if your kid canplay on a school team and it's
(27:51):
free.
And I have to pay for everymusic lesson and sports event
but, you know, any, anythingthat my kids wanna do that they
might be getting as an amazingresource at school comes out of
our pockets, which is a toughpart of it.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (28:03):
You nailed it.
Yep.
A thousand percent.
It gets so expensive.
Yeah.
And I'm constantly like on mysocial media, like I'm saying,
on a budget or on a budget, likewe do this, but on a budget
because I wanna nail home thatit's not easy and like you are
making huge sacrifices.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (28:23):
I think people don't realize we still
pay our school taxes.
I've had people ask me that somany times, like, oh, if you
don't send your kids, you don'thave to pay.
Right.
I'm like, oh, we still do, andthen there's the income thing
too.
So I don't know if you wereworking before you had kids or
thought you would have been, ormaybe you still are, how do you
navigate that part of things?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (28:40):
Um, so.
I was working in banking when Ihad my oldest, and I did not go
back after having him, uh,because I wanted, if anything, I
wanted to just work part-time.
I did get 12 weeks maternityleave or, um, yeah, uh, I tried
to go back as a newbornphotographer at the hospital
(29:02):
that didn't work out.
Um, I just could not stand to beaway from him.
Of course, I'm breastfeeding andpumping and all the things.
Um.
My husband said, okay, just stayhome.
Let's do this.
And for about two years I wasjust at home, nothing for
income.
(29:22):
But then I felt like I neededincome.
I did vinyl for a long time.
Um, and then I started workingfor Pampered Chef.
I mean, not careers, right?
Just things to make a littlebit.
Of money at home.
Um, and then two and a halfyears ago, I started, um, Amazon
(29:44):
influencing and then like UGCcreation, making videos for
brands.
And that's treated me reallywell.
My kids can be involved.
Um, I'm a huge thrifter and myoldest loves to thrift with me
and I resell.
So do I have a career?
(30:04):
No, but I do help make in incomefor the
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (30:08):
family.
Yeah.
And you don't have to answerthis if it feels too personal,
but does that work for you?
Because I think some people feellike that's fine and some people
feel like they're a person whoreally needs a career.
There's no wrong or right.
But I'm just curious how itfeels for you.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (30:23):
Sure.
I am totally happy with it.
And content and satisfied.
Um.
I, I didn't have, I, I don'thave a college education.
I didn't put a lot of money intoschool and so I just kind of
feel like this is my calling isthem first.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (30:46):
I think in a way, we all Find ourselves
in this position of what my kidsneed from me is what I'm
supposed to be doing, whether itinvolves a career or not.
Obviously I have tried tomaintain my career and make it
work for my family, which I'm sothankful is, is part of why we
can homeschool.
Um, because I can, you know,kind of be flexible.
But I think all of us just wantto do what's best for our kids
(31:07):
and what, what we ended upneeding to be as moms that we
didn't know was gonna be askedof us.
Right.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiek (31:13):
That's right.
Absolutely.
I mean, I, I love looking atother communities, like kids
with diabetes and just otherthings.
Um, we kind of align in the sameways.
It's like, I, I just follow somany other moms on social media
who are doing everything theycan to benefit their kids.
You make it work.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (31:33):
Yeah, you just find a way.
Yeah, I find that there are alot of people, it's almost like
this taboo thing.
Tell me if people say this toyou, but they're like, I kind of
wanna homeschool too, but Idon't think we could make it
work.
And they don't talk about it.
I don't think much to people intheir lives.
And I just want people to knowthat even if on the surface it
seems which sometimes it isoverwhelming.
Yes.
Sometimes it's, it's amazing andoverwhelming.
(31:56):
Um.
But there are ways to make itwork and to be flexible with it
that I don't think people knoware possibilities.
And I just would encouragepeople to look into it if they
want to, but think they can't.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (32:06):
Yes, totally.
And yes, I have had mom say thatto me a lot, and I just wanna
scream and yell and say, if I amdoing it, anybody can do it.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (32:18):
Right.
Right.
We make it work just likeeverything else.
I never thought I could raise achild with severe food allergies
and, you know, to the level ofextreme reactions my kid used to
have and figure out all of that.
And, and I figured it out and wewould've figured it out if we
ended up sending him to schoolas well.
Um, but just like that, you justlearn as you go and you figure
(32:39):
it out.
Right.
Right.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (32:42):
I, you touched on a, a point there.
Um, so when my husband and Imet, he could tell you that I
was not a good cooker.
I mean, I messed up blue boxmacaroni and cheese.
And we, we laugh at that now athow far I've come because now
I've got my, my binder and myrecipes and I teach our kiddos
(33:06):
to cook.
And that's school too.
Right?
And, uh.
We have fun with it.
And him, Scott and I, my husbandand I, we used to eat out all
the time when it was just himand I.
And even when our son was just ababy, we would eat out a lot, as
I think a lot of families do.
Or maybe, maybe they don't, Idon't know.
But we don't, now we cookeverything.
(33:27):
Mm-hmm.
And when we vacation, wevacation where there's places
where there's a kitchen where Ican still cook.
So.
Yeah, I, it's not even just thehomeschool thing, um, but it's
like, who knew that I could whipup a dish like that?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (33:43):
Right.
And then the, the way you'redescribing it explains what I
think.
At least it has become, for usthe whole, it's all one big
picture of what kind of lifewe're creating for our kids that
we didn't set out to, to do.
I wasn't homeschooled.
I, I, like I said, I'm a schoolpsychologist.
I fully intended to send my kidsto school and work in a school
and have the summers off withthem.
Um, but it's all part of this.
(34:07):
A picture of the way our life isunfolding and people feel like,
oh, you can't go to a restauranton vacation.
And I'm like, I saved$1,500 onmy vacation because we didn't
eat out three meals a day.
And you know, no judgment towhat you eat, but we actually
like eating this way that wefind is healthier for us.
And all of these, they're allconnected, right?
It's not, it is littledecisions.
(34:29):
It really is.
My goodness.
Let's talk just a little bitmore about.
The impact that you think it hason the actual food allergy
management for you or for yourkiddo?
How do you find homeschooling tofit into that piece of the
puzzle?
Well,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (34:42):
it's really easy for them to go fix
themselves lunch, and I knowit's in the kitchen and it's
literally one less thing for meto think about.
I mean, which is so helpfulbecause even when.
We're out at a field trip,right?
(35:03):
I'm always worried about thesafety of our kiddos.
So let's say, say we're fishing,you know, all the kids are
fishing.
And even though my kids know howto fish and they're comfortable
with hooking a worm and a hook,you know, I'm still, my thoughts
are still on their safety.
And then kids bring out snacksand like I'm talking to a mom.
(35:23):
But I know that the kiddo thatmy.
My kiddo is sitting next to, iseating a pack of Cheetos.
My mind is still on, you know,managing that activity so when I
can put them in our home.
And the safety of our home withmanaging what I, I know what
(35:44):
they're eating.
It's just one last thing for meto think about.
I mean, and they, they'reprofessionals.
They get in the kitchen.
I'm not even kidding.
They whip up a sandwich.
And it's just an, it's so nicethat I no longer have to fix
those lunches for them.
And sometimes I do, you know, ifI am, maybe if I'm making a
salad and they want a salad too,I'll make them that salad.
(36:06):
Or if we're out of a dressing,like a salad dressing, you know,
I'm, I make a lot of our saladdressings from scratch, then
I'll, I'll make that dressingfor them real quick.
You know, it's just.
It's just really nice.
It's, yeah.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (36:19):
And such a good skill for your kids to
have.
I mean, I find the same withmine obviously, especially if
you have food allergies, cookingis a great skill and when
they're home and able to do it,you know, any kid can learn to
cook, but when they're off atschool and then they have
activities afterward and thenhomework, there's not
necessarily a time in the day toteach them to do it the way your
kids can just, you know, wanderin and, and make something.
(36:39):
So I love that they.
Just happen to learn that andhave the space to learn it in a
natural way.
Part of what you said that'sreally important too, the way
that you feel when you're outand there might be an allergen
in proximity or on surfaces, youknow.
The kids that I work with arethinking about those things when
they're in school, so not all ofthem.
And obviously everyone's levelof reactivity is different, and
it's different with akindergartner whose hands are in
(37:01):
their mouth than it is with a10th grader.
But.
People will say like, well,there's allergens in the world.
You can't protect them from themall the time.
Yeah.
Trust me, we know that, right?
Yes, we understand, but can I,can I remove that worry?
Is this a child who wouldbenefit from that worry being
removed so that they can learntheir best?
Not necessary for everybody, butI think for many kids that is
(37:22):
really beneficial in theiracademics.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (37:25):
I completely agree.
Completely agree.
My oldest, he's always been oneto not be like touchy with other
kids.
And you know when you getyounger kids, like they touch a
lot.
Oh yeah.
They're in their space andbecause he is homeschooled, I
think He's not a touchy kid andbecause also his food allergies,
(37:47):
so maybe it's just nothomeschool.
Maybe it's his food allergensand he doesn't know where your
hands have been, which, trust meas a mom, I'm a, I'm totally
okay with that.
I've always been okay with that.
But like at our co-op, there waslike a hand holding activity,
you know, years ago and like hejust did not, he was not feeling
it and he kind of shut down and.
(38:07):
Even though that was his safespace, it was just like, he
didn't want to touch.
Mm-hmm.
And so I had to tell him, Hey,look, it's okay.
Speak up.
Use your voice.
You, you're not comfortable withthat.
And so knowing that's how he wasin a safe space, you know, put
that in a a, a school setting,he, I believe he would've broken
(38:30):
down and not spoken up, youknow?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (38:32):
Right.
Right.
It's difficult for kids to dothat for a lot of reasons, and I
think just, I think you knowthis, but just to let you off
the hook, I don't think he's nottouchy feely because of you
being homeschoolers.
I mean I see.
I'm sure you do too.
The whole range of it, you know,from, from kids, and I think you
know that.
We do a lot of that in terms oflike, oh no, is this, at least I
do.
Is this because we homeschoolhim?
(38:53):
Is he struggling with this or isthis this way?
And I think our kids are prettymuch, we know as moms, oh yeah.
That he was that way since hewas two.
Right?
So a lot of this stuff that wewant to worry about, I think is
our kids are who they are, andwe can expand upon that.
We can celebrate it, we canteach them things that are more
challenging for them, but Idon't think we have to blame
(39:15):
ourselves for.
You know, any of their traits orcharacteristics on
homeschooling, yes.
They're gonna, for the mostpart, become, who they are
inside.
Yes, totally.
As we wrap up, what do you wantpeople to know or understand
about homeschooling, foodallergies?
The overlap of the two that wedidn't get to?
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (39:35):
I read something that you posted
the other day and it said it wasalong the lines of.
Be careful, not fearful.
And man, that has reallyresonated with me and I have
said it to Waylon my son acouple of times now.
Um, so I'm gonna use, you know,take a, a piece of your puzzle
(40:00):
and say that because if you areconsidering homeschooling, but
you're letting fear take overand talk you out of it.
I would just say be careful andnot fearful because, um, it's
doable and it gets there and itgets easier and you, you learn,
you know, the years stack up oneach other and you learn from
(40:24):
the last year what didn't work.
And you can always modifythings.
Um, if you're, if you'reconsidering it, but you think
that you can't do it, pleaseknow that you are capable.
And it may turn out to be the,the best thing that's ever
happened.
Absolutely.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (40:42):
And if it's not, you can change gears,
right?
You can always send them back ifyou wanna send them back to
school.
And I think one of the things,I'm glad that that line
resonated.
I think it's a really, just areally short, quick way to
shift, right?
To remind ourselves, and I wannasay the same neither you or I
are here.
Trying to convince people thatthey should homeschool their
kids.
Like we're not recruiting.
(41:02):
Right?
Yeah.
We're just trying to talk aboutwhat something that we love.
But I also, you know, I'vetalked to a lot of families in
my therapy practice who, whowant to homeschool out of fear
and I.
Don't encourage them to do that.
Mm-hmm.
So, you know, just as you'resaying, don't be afraid of
homeschooling, but don't alsouse homeschooling as a way to
run away from all of the, thethings that do cause you fear,
(41:23):
because you know, that's not theplace to do it from.
We want to be careful aboutchoosing the homeschool and not
fearful, and we, we want to, dothe same with the allergy
management.
We don't wanna just run in fear.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (41:36):
You nailed this.
You nailed this.
I've gotta say this reallyquick.
And thank you for saying thatbecause when, after I had my
second and I was postpartum anddealing with all the emotions
and then, having my half yearold and then a newborn, and then
cooking all the things, justjuggling all the things.
(41:56):
I did go to therapist because Iwas having like all kinds of
depression and stuff.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (42:02):
Mm-hmm.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (42:02):
And she asked me.
The same question, um, that mymother-in-law had asked me at
one point, like, what are yougonna do when it comes to
school?
Right?
And I had mentionedhomeschooling.
And so we dove into that and shesaid, I need to tell you
something.
And I said, what is that?
She said, I, it's great that youwanna homeschool, but if you
(42:25):
choose to do that, don't letfood allergies be the reason
that you homeschool.
Find it within your heart.
To to be a reason, um, becauseyou may resent things later.
Dr. Amanda Whitehou (42:41):
Absolutely.
Choose it because it's what'sright for you.
Yes.
And I think the benefit for meof food allergies is I never
would've considered it.
I never would've even thought ofit as a possibility and
discovered that it was such agood fit for us, if not.
You agree,
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiek (42:57):
right?
Yes.
And I have been asked if it's,if it wasn't for food allergies,
would you homeschool?
Have you ever been asked that?
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:03):
Yeah, I have.
And I a hundred percent.
I never would've even thought ofit.
You.
No.
No.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay (43:10):
Man, I'm so glad.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:12):
Me too.
Oh my gosh.
And my kids are so glad.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (43:15):
I'm so glad.
Just because it works like it's,it's a
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:19):
fit for
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (43:19):
us.
That's
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (43:20):
why I say that.
Well, good.
Well, I'm happy for both of usand I'm so glad that I connected
with you.
I know a lot of the peoplelistening are going to want to
follow you if they're notalready.
Every time I see what you share,it just makes me smile.
Um, so please tell people wherethey can find you.
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsieka (43:33):
Sure.
So I am Lyndsie K.
L-Y-N-D-S-I-E-K-A-Y onInstagram, um, on TikTok.
I'm food allergy mama, M-O-M-M-Atwo.
I try to keep these things allthe same everywhere.
It's not easy.
Yeah.
(43:53):
Um, and then I just created aFacebook, um, it's called the
Lyndsie K Edit and I like to beon all the things, so
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (44:03):
there you go.
I'll put all of that in the shownotes for people who wanna find
you and, I'm so glad that we gotto connect and that you came
here to chat with us about it.
Thank you so much.
Yes, thank you, Amanda.
I
Lyndsie Iiams (@lynd (44:13):
appreciate you
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (44:13):
inviting me
Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay) (44:14):
and having me.
Dr. Amanda Whitehouse (44:15):
It was fun.
Bye.
the message that Lyndsie and Iwanna leave you with today is
that there's no one right way toeducate a child.
So if homeschooling has been onyour mind for years, this is the
first time you've considered it.
We hope that we've given you alittle insight into our lives
and what it's like and why we'vechosen it.
If homeschooling is not workingfor you or your child, whether
(44:37):
it's due to food allergies orany other reason, we just want
you to know that it's anotheroption that is possible, so if
you're curious.
Here are three action steps youcan take to learn more.
You can follow Lyndsie on all ofher socials that she just shared
with you on Instagram atLyndsie, K-L-Y-N-D-S-I-E-K-A-Y,
(44:59):
on TikTok at Food Allergy Mamatwo, and Mama is M-O-M-M-A.
And on Facebook at the atLyndsie Kay edit.
I'll also put all of those linksin the show notes for you.
Number two.
You can follow my social media.
I don't always remind everybodyhere on the podcast that I am
trying to start sharing a littlebit more on Instagram and
(45:21):
Facebook at the food allergypsychologist.
And if people are curious, I canshare more about homeschooling,
both from my perspective as aparent and through my
professional lens as someonetrained as a school psychologist
and now homeschooling her ownchildren outside of the public
school system.
Number three, where LindsayLives School is already back in
(45:42):
session here where I live.
Kids are just gearing up to goback after Labor Day.
Wherever you are in thatprocess, consider this a
reminder to just pause and thinkthrough how school is going for
your child, what they or you areexcited about for the upcoming
school year.
What maybe didn't work well lastyear, what they're dreading.
(46:03):
What the challenges are andthink outside of the box in
terms of considering solutionsto those whatever they may be.
Our journeys might all lookdifferent, but we all share the
same goal, which is helping tokeep our kids safe, help'them
feel safe and supported in a waythat allows them to do their
best learning.
If you enjoyed thisconversation, please share it
with a friend If you're enjoyingthe show, leave a rating or a
(46:25):
review., So that the show cangrow and we can continue
learning from each other.
Thanks for listening.
the content of this podcast isfor informational and
educational purposes only, andis not a substitute for
professional medical or mentalhealth advice, diagnosis, or
treatment.
If you have any questions aboutyour own medical experience or
mental health needs, pleaseconsult a professional.
(46:46):
I'm Dr.
Amanda Whitehouse.
Thanks for joining me.
And until we chat again,remember don't feed the fear.
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