DLUTI 197 - Prehistoric Emergence

This week we take a look at another example of everyone's favorite unfiction medium.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:17):
don't look under the internet I'll take a shot to
that all right, hell yeah okayyeah yeah, we're cool cheers,
doug, hello everyone.

Speaker 4 (00:34):
this is your daily dose of deludy hi, everybody.
Hi, we're here, we're we're.
We're here, we're vibing kindof we're in.
We're here, we're vibing kindof we're in a deluty mood.
Hi, this is Don't Look Underthe Internet.
Internet comedy horror podcastfeaturing the likes of yours
truly.
That's Doug.

(00:54):
Hi, that's Matt.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
I am alive.

Speaker 4 (00:59):
This fella to my right is Jason, hello, and I'm
on Jason's left and I'm Mike Fornow, yeah, and we're here and
we're doing a podcast.
We're doing a big podcast.
We're all feeling super goodabout this, mike especially
knows what he's doing right now.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
Cannot tell you.
This man knows exactly wherethe sentence is going, what the
point is and what's coming rightafter.

Speaker 4 (01:26):
Yeah.
So I'm going to start this offwith a bit of a very simple,
very straight to the pointlittle clap above your head.
Got an easy one for us.
We only have one name to give ashout out to.
So we're going to play thetimed we're going to play the
game of old days.
We're going to play the fat,the time the we're going to play
.
We're going to play the game ofold days.

(01:47):
Name to play come time, Doug,that's what he said.
We're going to play the game of.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Oh, he's like we're going to play fat and then just
stop talking and I was like what, we're going to play the game
of name.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
Is it good, is it bad ?
You tell me so definitely aname.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
That's the one thing you know.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
We're going to give a shout out to Major Bear yeah.
I'm yep, considering it's PrideMonth, major Bear, I'm cool
with it.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah, do you know Major Laser and what if there's
a Major Laser Bear you?

Speaker 1 (02:20):
mean Diplo and friends.

Speaker 4 (02:23):
Diplo and friends and his bear posse.
Diplo and Friends sounds likeone of those like child cartoons
like Baby Looney Tunes orsomething you just get, Diplo
and Friends.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah, but it's just like a bunch of babies playing
EDM.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yeah, I heard a baby cop has actually got a cameo in
some of that.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Baby cops, a baby cop stripper.
Now he's not doing so hot afterthat, he's a baby.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
YMCA.
He's making more money now thanwhen he was on the force.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
The baby.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
YMCA.
They are the young men, theyare the young men.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
They are the young men, god damn it Doug.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Look at me, I'm the young men now.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Well, we're clearly talking about something to do
with police officers or the YMCAtoday.
Right, we're talking aboutpeople.
None of those things.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
There's no bird scooter that can get us out of
this.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
Oh no, I got my ways.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
You got our four by4 bird scooter you can pull us out
with, I just need someall-wheel drive my guy.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
An all-wheel drive electric scooter.
A bird toe at this point.
That concludes housekeeping.
Major Bear, good name, I thinkwe can all agree after that,
love that.
Yeah, it's pretty solid.
It's funny because we may notbe talking about a major bear,

(03:52):
but we are talking about a majorother type of animal, wow.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Let's rewind that a little bit.
Let's do that again.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
Let's put any amount of effort into that.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
Yeah, try it one more time.
You know, you guys neverstopped to ask if I should.
You only asked if I could segueus into our topic.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
I thought you were going to say you guys never ask
if I'm major, okay.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
Holy Lord, y'all didn't ask if I should.

Speaker 4 (04:34):
Oh, I see the segue now Segue us into our topic and
our topic today Dino.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
DNA.

Speaker 4 (04:39):
We're talking about something prehistoric.
It's a dinosaur Talking aboutthem coming out of a hole.
We'll get to that.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Hell yeah.

Speaker 4 (04:46):
Not Mel's bowl, though that's a different topic.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
That's what she said.

Speaker 4 (04:50):
It's one of our smut books that we have in the box.
It's next to the milking farm.
We're talking about prehistoricemergence.
Hell yeah, or P for short, or P.
I saw that.
I saw that.
I saw that on your doc.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
I'm like hey.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Jason.
Well, if you're European, itmight be P yeah Um so a little
bit of a backstory to this.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
So we're talking about prehistoric emergence,
which is a YouTube analog horrorthat I found that has a very
surprisingly large amount ofviews on it and I figured new
Jurassic World movies coming outsoon.
Why not try to get in?

Speaker 3 (05:37):
with the algorithm, take advantage.

Speaker 4 (05:39):
Yeah, see if this might not spark a couple extra
views or something.
We'll see, who knows.
So, matt, whenever you uploadthis to YouTube, make sure in
the title it's just Dino Dino,dino, dino.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
Dino, Dino.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Jurassic.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
World Dinosaur.
Dinosaur Call it PrehistoricDinosaur.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
No, name it like Jurassic World Dominion or
whatever it's called.

Speaker 4 (06:01):
NADP like RIP DVD, RIP X Dominion or whatever it's
called yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
I was about to say Like, like, like, like, like,
like like, like, like, like,like, like, like, like, like,
like, like, like, like, likelike, like, like, like, like,
like, like.

Speaker 4 (06:19):
They'll think it's the movie We'll hack our way
into a fucking sponsor deal.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
I'm tempted.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Hey, it's not illegal right Probably.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
I'm just going to take the poster and just put
Doug's face over here.
It's transformative, fuck you.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
This is parody now.

Speaker 4 (06:43):
Nowhere did it say this is an actual thing.
So again, a little bit of ananalog horror.
It's very short.
Um, we're gonna cover seasonone.
I think you, jason and Doug.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
I did watch the 22 minute video.
That is the first episode ofseason one.
Yeah, you are correct, and youcan actually if you look here
you'll see exactly where Idecided it was bedtime ready
there.
Oh, I wonder what happened here.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
You can actually, if you look here, you'll see
exactly where I decided it wasbedtime Ready there.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
Oh, I wonder what happened here.

Speaker 4 (07:11):
It's just the same letter over and over again, so
you watched the season two ofepisode one.
Yeah, and you got season two,video two, nice.
So, yeah, yeah, we got a lot totalk about.
Yeah, we're going to dive intoit.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
So, jason, you're going to start us off with video
one, just in general.
So start us off with this.
This boy, you did say this isanalog horror.
Right, technically it is okay,because you definitely would not
get that at all from the firstfive seconds.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
So the first thing we see is the emergency alert
system like this before, damn it, I'm already I'm gonna be a
good boy today.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
I'm going I thought it was like a nature documentary
, I don't know it's matt.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
I am going to walk you right up to the line and see
if you step over.
That's my goal today.
Um so again, never seen thisbefore in any analog horrors.
We get the emergency broadcastsystem or the eas emergency
alert system, and this is whatthis says is don't go in the
water.
The two-minute playback of thispart of the video amounts to

(08:12):
about don't go in the water.
You're not allowed to go in thewater.
The water's bad for reasons.
Fish fuck it yeah fish fuck.
You don't want to swim in fishfuck, and that's just what we
think for you.
However, do you want tovisually describe fish fuck, and
that's just what we think foryou.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
However, do you want to visually describe the first
five seconds of this?
Just really give a real good,thorough description.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Just go right into it .
All right, you're going to getthis really long, just klaxon,
just horn, over and over againgoing, and you're going to hit
the emergency broadcast systemin like a red banner with young
letters.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
It's so blue there's so much blue and there's, and
you're going to hit theemergency broadcast system in
like a red banner with a youngletter.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
There's so much blue and there's a ticker, yeah,
there's a big ticker that goesacross the bottom telling you,
and it's all in an AI voicesaying do not go in the water.
Stay away from the water.
Any activities, such as boating, swimming, are prohibited.
Do not go in the water, do notgo in the water Do?

Speaker 2 (09:04):
not go in the water.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Do not go in the water.
Do not go in the water.
We're like, okay, that's-.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
New vocal stem unlocked.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
Apparently, the reason that we are not allowed
to go near the water or be inthe water or do activities in
the water like swimming isbecause there is a apparently
previously thought to be extinctspecies are now roaming the
ocean.
There's out there and now like,yeah, there's probably a
colacanth or two down thereright.
A what Colacanth?

(09:36):
Yeah, it's a big fish that hashorrendous teeth, but it's been
alive since the three-star camps.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Real big fish.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
Probably.
Oh shit, did we cover that onReally Tall Podcast.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
No.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
We got another episode, fuck, yes.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
So, like there are definitely versions of
prehistoric creatures that arealive today, like lobsters or
mollusks or those fuckingtrilobites, or man, or man or
man I mean man and dinosaurwe're not allowed at the same
time, no, but but a man can.
Cockroaches, yes, dragonfliestechnically I'm going off topic.
Basically, what this isclaiming is that don't go in the

(10:18):
water because these fuckingmassive killer things are now in
the ocean.
We don't know why.
Where they came from, they saymaybe they came from this big
blue hole that appeared in theocean, which apparently could be
an entrance to a region wheremany other extinct creatures
exist.
It goes over.
This is all the EAS again, andit switches over from this to

(10:42):
kind of give you a little bitmore information about the
different types of creaturesthat they've actually seen come
out of this big blue hole.
The blue hole the first one isyou know, I will never forget
this name.
The first name that we comeacross is the Mosasaurus, and if
you want to hear what it'sactually pronounced, as in the

(11:03):
video, it's the Mosasaurus,mosasaurus, mosasaurus, and you
will hear this a lot.
I almost soundbited it and putit on the soundboard.
Didn't know.
I all of you would.
But you are welcome.
This is the Mosasaurus.
The Mosasaurus is described asa nightmarish marine predator.
It swims up to 30 miles an hour.
It's about 50 fucking feet longand apparently prefers the

(11:26):
Atlantic to the Pacific or anyof the other oceans.
I was going to go through themand then I realized I don't
think I know all of them.
I'm in Ferris, that's fine.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
There are oceans.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
There are.
There's several, and one of thethings that you do need to know
about the Mosasaurus is thatit's defining characteristic is
that when it's looking for preyor trying to find something to
eat, it pokes his head abovewater to look around.
I feel like we could have justfigured that out ourselves, but,
lucky us, we have astep-by-step walkthrough on how

(11:57):
to deal with the mosasaurus.
It's like I said, it's 50 feetlong, like that's a fucking huge
, and it is it's.
It basically just eats anythingthat swims, anything loves, uh,
people.
It's known to find boats andcapsize them and just eat
everybody inside since theemergence of this mosasaurus

(12:18):
from the big blue hole in thebottom of the ocean you think
we'd notice you?

Speaker 4 (12:22):
well, they did hole.
They did like before thingscame out of it.
I don't think a hole just intothin air and things were just
like hey unless you're lookingat it wouldn't it suck just like
a fuck load of water down intoit, I mean that was what I
thought the next question wasgoing to be.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
So apparently this big blue hole is actually on the
other side of it.
Is there's actually more waterthan I mean?

Speaker 2 (12:44):
I guess that makes sense if sea creatures the other
side of it is there's actuallymore water than I mean I guess I
make sense of sea creatures arecoming out of it.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
There's water in it it's 100 however reverse hollow
earth but apparently thepressure of the pressure of the
water on the other side of thishole is being pushed into this
side of the hole so there's more, there's more pressure inside,
so it's like ejecting thesethings it's either pressurized
or there's more water.
Right, it's, yes.
So it's either pressurized orthere's actually more water

(13:09):
through this hole, which youknow doesn't make a whole lot of
fucking sense, considering it'sstill in the earth at the
bottom of the ocean.
There's a hole in the bucket inthe bottom of the ocean
whatever that whole song, a frogand a log and a bog in the
bottom of it.
Yeah, exactly so these, thisblue hole popped up and
apparently several of them havepopped up where these different

(13:32):
prehistoric creatures have beenemerging and just wreaking havoc
on our modern world.
So that's the Mosasaurus.
That's a big one.
The next one they go over issomething called this.
My favorite, one, best name isthe dunkle osteus.
I do like donkey, theDunkleosteus Dunkle.
This thing was known as thefirst apex predator to have ever

(13:52):
existed.

Speaker 4 (13:55):
The historic ocean runs on Duncan.
I was about to say you can nowcatch this fish doing video game
commentary and let's plays.
You can find them on YouTubeVideo Game Donkey.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
It's very cool, this fish doing video game commentary
and let's plays.
You can find them on YouTubeVideo game donkey.
Video game donkey First ApexPredator, and the defining
feature of this thing isactually it's kind of small.
It's 13 feet long.
However, its head, face andback are almost completely
armored, which they go on to say.
The only way that you can getthrough this armor is with

(14:24):
harpoons or high velocity rounds, which, yeah, that tracks.
Again, this thing's about 13feet long.
What about torpedoes and shit,though?
I think anything.
Can we nuke the fish?
Anything harpoon, high velocityrounds, or more devastating
than those things, I think.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
I just wanted to clear things up.
I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Want to go harpoon some donks bro.

Speaker 4 (14:51):
Who harpoon in their dunk right now.

Speaker 3 (14:57):
It sounds so sexual.
It's not even funny but holy.
Sounds like a lot of things tobe fair.
Sounds like I don't know whatit is, I won't be doing that
poon in some dunks this weekend.
There it is poon in the dunks,damn alright.

(15:19):
So this thing is labeled as,like the god damn it, spooning
some dunks.
I cannot get that, that phrase,out of my head.
Um, okay, I'm gonna try to getto this next part.
As I said, it's 13 feet long.

(15:39):
Um, it's got armor all over itshead, face and and body.
However it's, the bite force iswhat's really really terrifying
here.
A crocodile has the bite forceof about 3,200 PSI.
This thing 13 feet long, sotechnically shorter.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
He's broken.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
So broken.
That's it.
This is more proof that it'snot.
It's not whoever goes last,yeah yeah, yeah his glasses are
off tears are coming out he'slegit

Speaker 2 (16:20):
broken oh my god, at least we're making Naomi's job
easy Very.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yeah, so this thing bites almost, is almost twice
out of a crocodile at 6,000 PSI,which is a fuckload.
This video, this portion of thevideo, ends with, it's like an
advice section.
It says advice for if you everdo encounter one of these things

(16:47):
, they swim incredibly fast, youwill not see it coming.
So if you come into anencounter with one, in order to
survive, use avoidance, useavoidance.
That's what it says.
It wasn't very effective.
Aka Try to no longer be in thatsituation anymore.
That's how I took that, likeyeah, what?

Speaker 4 (17:11):
Here's what you do.
Step one Don't do it, don't bethere, don't have done that I'm
trying to make it sound soscientific, use avoidance.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
Use avoidance, just try not being somewhere where
that might be an issue.
Have you tried that stupid.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
Try avoidance, just try it.
Just try it.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Have you tried it?

Speaker 3 (17:38):
And if that doesn't work, try not avoiding it.
Maybe that'll work.
That's the Dunkleosteus, thearmored fish, the last thing
that they go over as one of themajor appearances of creatures
is Sorry.

Speaker 4 (17:52):
I just imagined a bunch of scientists in a
laboratory with a clipboard.
They're just like damn it.
Running right into it didn'twork.
What else can we do?
Try using avoidance.
Avoidance, of course, right,don't run into it.
Never thought of that.
Huh, that's subject one, justdon't my.

(18:13):
God it worked, it worked.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
We found out the ultimate answer to how not to
die to this thing.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
You just don't you don't you just be stubborn.
The very last creature that iscoming from these blue holes
that we're going to go over inthis video is the megalodon.
A lot of people probably knowwhat this is.
Um, it's basically just a giantfucking shark, and this was one
of the biggest marine based umpredators.

(18:40):
Uh, to ever roam the ocean, Iguess.
To ever roam the ocean, I guessto ever pred.
And this thing's emergence fromthe blue hole apparently causes
major marine population decline.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
Predators emerging from the blue hole.

Speaker 3 (19:02):
Is this hard yet, matt?
Is this difficult?
Yeah, so this thing eats up to2500 pounds of food a day, which
means the majority ofecosystems around the world.
If any more than one of thesethings gets loose in the ocean,
it will not take long for thisthing to decimate those.
Um, and they talk about howthis is actually going to

(19:24):
interact, or how it's going toaffect, uh, human food source,
which means we can't really goin the ocean anymore for these
things.
They're eating all the fish, sowe're losing all our fish and
we might, because of it, um, thevery last, the very last thing
we hear in this video, um is,for now, the ocean is no longer

(19:44):
in our control.
Oh shit Was it ever.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
Huh, was it ever?
It's the ocean.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
We've never done that , no, it literally has never
been in our control.
So yes, business as usual.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
If he'd say we own the ocean, if you ask.
Trump he'd be like it's ourocean, the best ocean we have
full control over it.
We're going to put a dome overthe ocean.

Speaker 3 (20:08):
It's blue.
That's one of the colors on theflag.
We're going to nuke the ocean.
We're going to nuke the oceanand all the fish living in it.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
I mean, we did that.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
We're putting tariffs on the mackerels.

Speaker 4 (20:24):
Oh my gosh, we're circumcising All the porpoises.
So that's your.
That's how it ends.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
Yeah, that literally Just says, for now, the ocean is
no longer In our control.
And Fuck.
That is the end Of the firstvideo.
Damn you, poseidon.
Yeah, fuck Poseidon.

Speaker 4 (20:40):
Well, yeah, I think he fucked that guy.
Yeah, there's.
There's more of this, so um ohyeah, there's definitely more of
this so oh, you thought we werefinished um there's.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
The next video is called prehistoric emergence
serpents of wrath, and really itfollows kind of the same
structure as Jason's video.
But what we're finding out thistime is that there's more
prehistoric animals and they'recoming out of holes on the land
this time Not just in the ocean.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
Are they blue or are they brown?

Speaker 2 (21:19):
They're every color in between.
Yeah, some of them are orange,so they're coming Are any of
them Mel's.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
Mel-colored.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
No, they're Mel Jr's.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
Mel's Jr holes, mel's .

Speaker 2 (21:35):
Jr no.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
Can't we talk about Jr holes on this?

Speaker 2 (21:42):
They are the predators, though right am I
right?
Yeah, anyway, there's a wholething here, the asian news, the
asian news network informs usall about these holes on land.
so, um, we we talk about holesthat are in lots of different
places, and first up isaustralia, and of course there's
crazy shit happening inaustralia with animals all the

(22:04):
time.
So I'm not sure if these cameout of the hole or not, but
apparently they got big-assKomodo dragons down there called
Megalanias, megalanias, yeah,megamalanias, megalanias.
So they're hiding in the woodsand they're jumping out and
eating people, and so in thisvideo we get a nice little

(22:26):
demonstration of a like acartoon cutout of like a fucking
bathroom sign man against agreen background.
And you got your little mega,mega Melania there.
And this hiker wanders into theforest and everything gets all
glitchy and then bam, it jumpsout and kills him and he bleeds
all over the place.
And it does the analog horrorthing where, for some reason, in

(22:49):
the middle of a news broadcast,it glitches, even though
there's absolutely nothingparanormal at play here.
It glitches and there'ssomething you're not supposed to
see.
oh no, anyway, these mega, megamilanias are also just wandering
around in downtown Sydney, sowe see that it's like the size

(23:10):
of a fucking car.
Anyway, they fucking eat people.
So now to America, and Americahas woolly mammoths.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
We found out a few factoids about woolly mammoths.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
We are conveniently told in this news broadcast that
is telling us not toids aboutwoolly mammoths.
We are conveniently told inthis news broadcast that is
telling us not to hunt thesewoolly mammoths, that woolly
mammoth tusks are worth up toand exceeding $10,000.

Speaker 3 (23:35):
But don't hunt them.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
But don't hunt them.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
And also we haven't done that while they were alive
at all.
There's definitely not cavepaintings showing humans hunting
woolly mammoths, yeah, butdon't risk provoking a woolly
mammoth.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
Stay away from them as much as possible, unless you
were to find one at a zoo, andthat's exactly what Toronto has
done.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
It's taken a woolly mammoth and they put it in a zoo
.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
So we got zoo mammoth .
Now you can visit the newexhibition on 9-14 of 2024 and
we're giving the Toronto Zoowebsite where you can go buy
tickets and go see the woollymammoth.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
Oompie, oompie.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
Oompie, yeah, oompie, the woolly mammoth, but now
more on the ocean.
So back in the ocean things,while this.
This is happening on land,meanwhile.
Meanwhile we've got killer spermwhales named Livyatons, which I
thought when I first watchedthis I was like stupid, that's

(24:33):
Leviathan.
And then I looked it up and Iwas like no, that's actually how
this is pronounced.
It's Livyaton, which isbasically a gigantic sperm whale
with razor sharp teeth.
It's apparently hunting theMegalodon.
So like I guess like theMegalodon and the Libyatons are
like in this crazy circle wherethey're just like eating each
other, sneaking up on each other, controlling each other's
populations.

(24:54):
So that's what's happeningthere.
Back on land, this time we gotColumbia and India.
So Columbia and India, theyjust got big ass snakes.
They got snakes.
The snakes are wandering around, they're sucking people down in
their weird fucking dislocatedjaw gullets, they're wrapping
themselves around giganticstatues, and that's what's going

(25:17):
on in Columbia and India.
And to deal with all thiscraziness, we learned that
there's a new organizationcalled the GPAC.
The GPAC is called GlobalPrehistoric Affairs Commission,
which Global Prehistoric AffairsCommission sounds more like a
like an HOA type deal to me, butfor like people like the
prehistoric era.

(25:38):
But what they're, what they'reapparently doing, is trying to
figure out how to control thesethings.
The conclusion that they cometo is a bunch of countries are
going to start throwing bombsdown these holes, and so we get
this little diagram of a holeand then, like old school style
TNT where it looks like they'rejust Acme TNT throwing them down

(26:02):
in the hole and detonating them, and that's the solution to
this, we sent the bravestcommando, wile E Coyote, down
into the hole.
Destabilize the crust of theearth is our solution to this?

Speaker 3 (26:13):
is what it seems like to me that's a bad plan.
That's a really bad plan.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
The last area that we talk about is Billings Montana,
so a big old hole has opened upin the middle of billings
montana.
We get a picture of this holein billings montana, um which
maybe this isn't the montana I'mfamiliar with, but this hole in
billings montana is surroundedby tropical foliage, it's like

(26:39):
it's like a picture of therainforest and then there's a
hole, there's just nothing yeah,um montana if you don't know,
is in it's in the northwesternunited states
temperate north yeah where it'svery dry and there are not a lot
of trees and it's mostlymountains, mostly mountains but

(27:02):
this hole opened up and now abunch of palm trees are growing
around it, and while these palmtrees are growing around it,
there's a weird, really weird,strange sound coming out of it,
and it's theorized that thiscrazy sound is whatever is
driving all these animals out.
So the the video is like oh no,there's something even bigger

(27:22):
underground and it's chasing thethings that are eating us and
they're running away from it,and then they're eating us.
It's going to be really bad.

Speaker 4 (27:31):
Oh no, don't come up here.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Oh no, I don't want you to.
Oh no, no please.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
No, I'm just a boy.
It's also my birthday, no, no.
And that's that.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
Wow, that's that video.

Speaker 4 (27:44):
Fascinating stuff from Matt we got sea things, and
now Tropical Montana.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
Tropical Montana, thanks honey.
Tropicana, montana's sisterTropicana.

Speaker 4 (27:57):
Tropical.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
Montana, there's Tropical Montana.

Speaker 4 (28:01):
It's her cousin that couldn't make it.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
Well, she started the Tropicana brand.
Yeah, and that's just the word.
Smashed together, it's a wholefamily Conspiracy.

Speaker 4 (28:09):
Yeah, and they say Billy Ray Cyrus Doesn't pick
favorites Anyway.
So I got video three here.
It's called the Tyrant LizardKing, so you might Be able to
piece together what the fuckmine's all about here.
But crazy thing here Even morefishing boats.
Can you believe it have beencapsized?
What was that from themotosaurus?

Speaker 3 (28:31):
Mosasaurus.

Speaker 4 (28:31):
Mosasaurus yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
Motosaurus Hello moto , the mosasaurus.

Speaker 4 (28:36):
You know before, when they're like hey, no one go out
fishing.
Yeah, people didn't listenbecause boats flipped, weird,
we're back in Montana.
Or, as we like to call it,tropicana, tropicana.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
Trapanta.

Speaker 4 (28:50):
Trapanta, trapanta.
Something big has emerged outof here and we don't really like
it.
And oh, we're about to find outwhat it is the guy's like.
My god, it's a just glitchesout, you know, because yeah,
important part broadcast got cutoff.
Instead let's hear a little bitfrom g-pack.

(29:11):
I think they have something tosay to us.
Turns out they have an update.
They were bombing those holesto stop things from coming out,
but they gave up on that idea.
Turns out Too much shit becoming out of the hole.
Couldn't do it anymore.
Not enough bombs.
Off to Texas.

(29:32):
We go the Lone Star State,yeehaw In Texas.
They're pretty fucked Causethey got fucking Quetzalcoatlus
or whatever that thing's name.
It's been sighted.
He's big, he's a bird.
You gotta look out for thatQuetzalcoatlus.
It's a big leather bird.
This motherfucker is 16 feettall, 500 pounds, which I guess,

(29:55):
because they have hollow bones,is why they're so light.
I expected something.
16 feet I mean a fucking hippois like 5,000 pounds.
So I expected this thing to bea little bit bigger, but again.

Speaker 3 (30:06):
That's mostly muscle.

Speaker 4 (30:07):
Yeah, and this is a bird Hollow bones, hollow bones.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
Nothing else, he's still a big boy Texas.

Speaker 4 (30:13):
y'all gotta look out, because this thing is
apparently migrating.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
It's going all over the place.

Speaker 4 (30:20):
They recommend, if you see a Quetzalcoatlus, to
seek shelter in very tightplaces, because Use avoidance.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
Use avoidance.

Speaker 4 (30:31):
If you see a Quetzalcoatlus, just don't.
Just don't and you'll be okay.
So they say to seek shelter intight places like under a
vehicle or in an alleyway.
Because if there's one thing a16 foot bird can't do is it
can't get into an alleyway.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
Definitely not like a fucking, like being a fish in a
barrel at that point.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
One get in the car.
But two, I like how thedemonstration is showing, like a
man running down a road andthere's a car that's clearly in
the road and he just crawlsunder it, like I'm assuming this
car that's just in the middleof the road is not occupied
because of it.
I don't know, they run him over.

(31:14):
Yeah, I mean, I guess that's asolution.
That's a solution.

Speaker 4 (31:18):
My favorite part is it shows it's like get under a
vehicle.
And then it shows him gettingunder a vehicle and the bird
just like it shows, the bird Popup by the car and just like,
like it's Screaming at him, likehow dare you?
The one place I can't get to.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
Under a car I've been foiled.
This skinny little beakdefinitely can't get underneath
that.

Speaker 4 (31:40):
We also learn about I can't get underneath, that we
also learned about.
I can't fit under this FordF-150.
No, that's lifted.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
Hide under a Hummer or bigger Texas is not where you
want to be hiding under thecars.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
No, maybe Seattle, but not Texas.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
Or Italy.

Speaker 4 (31:57):
Yeah, we also learned about a 12 old boy Named Isaac
Ramson, who was Just taken awayby one of these.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
He should have avoided better.

Speaker 4 (32:09):
They've been telling us he should have Don'ted, he
should have no don't.
So he is Presumed dead becauseit just took him away.
And yeah sorry, mrs Ramson,your son got got, he didn't, he
didn't, he didn't, he didn't,didn't, and now he's paying for

(32:32):
it.
Now he did.
He didn't, don't are then hedidn't, didn't, now he did, damn
.
We also find out that thisthing is absolutely Fucking up
our livestock.
There is even a mention of afarmer in Texas when these
Quetzalcoatls keep taking theirsheep, and the farmer had this

(32:52):
brilliant idea.
He's like hey, that 16 footbird that weighs 500 pounds, I'm
gonna have my dog bark at it.
And guess what it took thefucking dog.
Is anyone surprised that heshould have had his dog, don't?
Yeah, I don't know what's goingon in this man's mind.
He sees a 16-foot bird eatinghis sheep and he's like get it,

(33:16):
dog To be fair if there's onething that dogs are bad at it's
donting.
All right To be fair.
If there's one thing that dogsare bad at, it's donting, anyway
.
So we're going to cut back tothe Toronto Zoo here.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
This is the moment in the video where I was watching
this.
This video is 13 minutes long.
I didn't hear a goddamn thing.
That happened for the rest ofthis video, because I was
laughing so hard.

Speaker 4 (33:39):
Some bad news everyone.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Oopie.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
We can't even get faster for the name Oopie died
of tuberculosis, oopie got.

Speaker 4 (33:56):
TB Oopie got TB bro, but don't worry, oopie had a son
.
Oopie got TB bro, but don'tworry, oopie had a son, oopie Jr
.
Don't worry, oh, don't worryhuh Can regular elephants even
get tuberculosis.
Oopie Jr is very sad.
Oopie Jr is very sad, but don'tworry, we're going to put him

(34:20):
on display in like a week, soit's cool.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
The video's got Oopie Jr's last moments with his
father, which he's also like.
It's like Oopie Jr's lastmoments with his father and it
looks like he's likebreastfeeding.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:35):
Yeah, what are you doing, jesus Christ?

Speaker 4 (34:39):
Wrong trunk, oopie, wrong trunk.
Oompi Just doing a little suck.
He just Oompi tied up TB.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
Oh my god, you guys are going to be so happy Later.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
Did you look up if elephants can get tuberculosis?

Speaker 3 (34:56):
No, I have not done that.
I'll do that now, but there issome vindication coming.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
This just in the mammoth has AIDS.
The mammoth got maids.
I don't know what to do aboutit.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
Oompy Jr cures AIDS.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
It just caught me, so off guard.

Speaker 4 (35:12):
Beloved Oompy dies of tuberculosis.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
Berkleyosis.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
I love that you're saying tuberculosis.
Yeah, elephants can get TBCaused by mycobacterium MTB or M
bovis.
Thanks Obama.
Diseased ground in both captiveand wild elephants Wow.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
Apparently it can be transmitted Dang.
Anyway, we learned somethingtoday.
I'm so sorry.
Sorry, we learned something.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
We're whipping back to Australia now.
We just had to get that smallupdate about Oompy's death, so
we're whipping back over toAustralia.
There's so much shit here.
You got Megalania MegalaniaUpdate on this bitch.
It's eating all the kangaroosand that's awful.
Why?

Speaker 3 (35:57):
Because kangaroos are important, but why this is
actually a legit question.
Do kangaroos are important, butwhy this is actually a legit
question?
Do kangaroos actuallycontribute to the human?

Speaker 2 (36:06):
ecosystem.
You ever see that guy who boxesa kangaroo for fucking with his
dog?

Speaker 4 (36:11):
Yeah, he just walks up to it and just All I've seen
is people just punchingkangaroos in the face because
they're dicks.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
According to this, they're so strong.

Speaker 4 (36:21):
It's bad because kangaroos are important for the
ecosystem because they eat thefoliage and then they poop, and
their poop is good for the soil.
I got news for you Kangaroosare the cows of Australia.
That is fact, though like 100%you can get kangaroos.
Let me see if there's cows inAustralia.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Then we'll see how useless kangaroos are.
Are there people out there?

Speaker 2 (36:38):
just grabbing kangaroo tits and squeezing milk
.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
But so these kangaroos?
They're not doing so good.
Yeah, there's so many cows inAustralia, turns out.
Gpac will pay you, rememberbefore where they're like hey,
these mammoths are worth 10grand, but don't hunt them.
Right, gpac will pay you twogrand to hunt these medallionias
, but don't hunt them.
But don't do it.

(37:04):
Remember, use don't.
Yeah, use don't.
They don't want you to, becausethere's something else out
there that might get you.
If you try to hunt Megalonia,like, you'll get bored with
trying to eat those and that isThylacolio, which is a panther
sized.
I'm not going to lie.
This is disappointing, notanymore.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Yeah, RFK Jr has other plans.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
I'm a little disappointed with this because
he's like there's somethingworse out there in Australia and
it's a cat, it's just a panther.
I'm over here expecting like afucking 40-foot lizard.
It's just, it's a cat.
It's small.
It's like the size of a panther.
It's actually relatively smallall things considered.
Oh sorry, it's got the biteforce of a lion.
It's got two front incisorsthat it uses.

(37:48):
It's got canine teeth and ituses these to slice through you
and whatnot.
So it's cool, but I don't thinkit could take down this fucking
like 20-foot.
The kangaroos too.
I feel like a kangaroo couldprobably take this fucking cat.
I've seen kangaroos.
Those things are fucking units.
I feel like a kangaroo couldtake this.

(38:08):
I feel like a herd of kangaroos, because they do travel in
herds.
I feel like kangaroos couldtake that lizard thing too, just
because it's bigger.
Don't mean shit.
I don't know man, cats, cats aredangerous cats.
Like grab you and then theylike use their hind claws, like
rip your guts out and shit.
Yeah, but a herd of kangaroo, Ifeel like it'd take out.
They have punch and kick.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
Exactly everything else we're talking about has
razor sharp, something punch andkick, but it's a strong.
You're punching dinosaurs thisis a cat, not a dinosaur you're
punching.
I want you to tell me howpunching a saber tooth tiger
goes versus like.

Speaker 4 (38:43):
It'll go bad for me because I'm not a kangaroo.
I'm not a kangaroo, so it'sgoing to go bad, but a kangaroo,
I think a kangaroo can breakits fucking neck.
If a dolphin can ejaculate andbreak your neck a kangaroo can
kick a cat and break its neck.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
You're not wrong there, but they're not using
their penis to fight.

Speaker 4 (39:04):
I think so.
Anyway, I have to end it.
I think so.
Yeah, this Thylacoleo is thispanther thing.
It's fucking up the ecosystemas well, and it's hunting people
too.
So watch out.
So don't hunt those two grandlizards Because of cat, because
of cat, tldr, kangaroos introuble.
So now we find out that thebrachiosaurus is back.
That's pretty cool.

(39:25):
You just gotta be careful,because they will trample you on
accident.
There's not a lot going on here.
They're just like hey, thesethings are back.
They're pretty cool animals,but they will step on you
because you're an ant to them,so just stay at least 1,500 feet
away.
Also, turns out these guys areeating all the trees in the

(39:46):
Rocky Mountains, all of them,all the fucking trees.
They're even like oh yeah,there's this whole nationwide
project to get the trees backinto the Rocky Mountains and
make sure that all these treesthat are going, endangered from
lumber and things like that,we're bringing them back.
And now the brachiosauruses arejust eating them all.

(40:07):
They're like what do we do?
We can't hunt them because it'sjust eating trees, but if we
don't, they're going to eat allthe trees.

Speaker 3 (40:14):
What do we do?
There's an opportunity here torecreate that opening sequence
from the Flintstones, where theyput that giant rack of
brachiosaurus ribs on their car.
That sounds wonderful.
Why aren't we doing that?
We?

Speaker 1 (40:24):
should do that.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
I have a lot of questions about things we're not
doing in response to what'shappening.

Speaker 4 (40:29):
Why aren't we barbecuing these things?
We barbecue alligator.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
They were showing those brachiosauruses or
whatever walking around andthey're like, yeah, they're
eating all the fucking trees andit's just another collection of
palm trees everywhere.

Speaker 4 (40:43):
Just, you know, the native palm tree that grows in
colorado of the adirondackmountains adirondack palm trees
um, so we're back in montana,turns out, 313 people in montana
have been mauled to death.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
But but by what, by what?
Oh, I see the source of theconfusion.
I'm sorry.
Earlier this was BillingsMontana, this is Biling's
Montana.

Speaker 4 (41:11):
Biling's Montana, I also like how it's a picture of
downtown Manhattan like thefucking Empire State Building.
That's Montana.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
Yeah, that's the Montana one.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
Yeah, okay, the money right right more and more as we
go through this, you you showthat you have not been in
montana yeah, I'm sorry, it'skind of embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
I'm sorry I was.
I was unfamiliar with your gamethe big apple of montana.

Speaker 4 (41:37):
God damn it, um the big fapple.
So 313 people were killed InBailings Montana, the downtown
area, by what?
The T-Rex my best T-Rex Scream?
19 T-Rexes are tearing throughthe downtown area.
That's too many.
That is a lot of T-Rexes.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
That's an alarming amount of T-Rexes.
It's probably way too heavy.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
I have a T-Rexes.
That is an alarming amount ofT-Rexes.
It's probably way too heavy.

Speaker 4 (42:03):
I have a T-Rex that's been hunted and axed, these
fools.
Yeah, so the GPAC has sent SWATteams and whatnot as backup, at
least military backup.
But when they did the T-Rexesvanished dog Without a trace.
I don't know how you letsomething that big vanish
without a trace.

Speaker 3 (42:21):
But they did.
It's usually in the thin air.

Speaker 4 (42:24):
Yeah, and then we get a smash cut to some weird like
Aztec-ian, like dragon Statuehead thing.
It's got reverse audio and theaudio just says Judgment is upon
us, judgment is upon us.
And then it goes back to thevideo and the video now states
that if you find a T-Rex, you dothe tried and true method of

(42:46):
shouldn't, of donting.
You don't it, you don't.
The video says that shooting aT-Rex isn't going to help you in
defense because it's got a tinybrain and it's hard to hit that
tiny brain.
So you might as well just noteven try to aim for it.
Instead just shoot around thet-rex because it'll scare it
away.
Now I'm not trying to say Iknow anything about a t-rex, but

(43:08):
I'm pretty damn confident thatlike a modern, like hunting
rifle probably fuck up a t-rexan anti-tank cannon maybe see
that I don't think a t-rex isthat thick?

Speaker 3 (43:18):
This is my question.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
This goes on to talk about how people are buying guns
and shit.
Where's the military?
Why is GPAC here?
We tried throwing bombs downthe fucking halls, but why has
there not A T-Rex?
Can't be an F-16.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
No, we have solutions .
Tom Cruise just Danger zoneplane as he's just dropping
bombs.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
We have solutions.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
Tom Cruise, just dangerous zone plane, as he's
just dropping bombs on fuckingbailings.
We can send the military in todeal with some protesters in LA.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Surely we can respond a little better to some
dinosaurs that are fucking someshit up.

Speaker 4 (43:55):
Coming out of the hole.
Speaking of that, though, itdoes mention that, because of
all these dinosaurs, there'sbeen a drastic uptick in firearm
sales.
It's like it's like, on average, like an 85 percent increase in
firearms sales, and they'relike manufacturers just can't
fucking keep up.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
I assure you that the two places in.
America, that you're not goingto run out of guns are Montana
and Texas.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
Yep, yeah, that's like yeah.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
Number one and number two You're good, I'd buy a gun.
If this happened.
I'd be like, yeah, I'mstrapping up, yeah, that makes
sense.
Actually, you'd be a fuckingmoron to not.
I'd be bringing like a baseballbat with me everywhere.
See, no, what is that?

Speaker 3 (44:35):
going to, so I have both, just in case, like for
people and for dinos.

Speaker 4 (44:39):
Yeah, okay, this is my people gun it's a bat.

Speaker 3 (44:43):
It's a bat, it's a manual reload close distance gun
, also called a bat.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Anything's a projectile, if you throw it hard
enough.

Speaker 4 (44:56):
Swing it around.
This is my gun that shoots bats, anyway.
So yeah, don't shoot the t-rexbecause you can't do anything to
it.
Buy a gun anyway.
I guess also there's one t-rexthat has gotten very popular
amongst the people because ofthe way it looks.
It vanished along with the rest, but that it just looked very

(45:18):
different from the rest, andthey nicknamed it Deba Deba,
which is Latin for Deba, mm-hmm.
Okay, and that's the video.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
Soundtrack by Satanic Lo-Fi Music.

Speaker 3 (45:37):
Oh yeah, oh my.

Speaker 4 (45:40):
God Doug what you got oh boy.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
What do I got?
So video four is called theFirst Apex Predators, and it
starts off with a video of BlueHole 1066.
As you see this hole, hole, youstart to see what looks like

(46:03):
maybe a giant tentacle comingout of it.
Maybe it's a giant penis,possibly maybe a squid, I am
unsure until it fully comes outof the hole and you see that it
is for sure a giant squid and itis in fact not a penis, but
well.

Speaker 3 (46:20):
I don't care anymore.
Doesn't a squid just have 9penises?
I'm pretty and it is in factnot a penis, but well, I don't
care anymore.
Doesn't a squid just have 9penises?

Speaker 1 (46:24):
I'm pretty sure it is 48 penises without looking
anything up.

Speaker 4 (46:29):
I think you're right without checking, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
So I wrote my notes as if I was going to be very
curious as to how this was goingto play out.
So I said giant squids, I'mpretty sure are still around,
and not something new at all,but what the fuck do I know,
right?
So, um, after you see all thesesquids come out of this hole,
they address the cyber attack,they call, or they called it

(46:54):
with the uh, prehistoric animalslearned how to hack.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
I'm jack jacked in Now, I'm interested.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
It's a bunch of like those little dinosaurs that are
like really annoying in JurassicPark the first movie oh yeah,
all right.
So anyways, they address thecyber attack.
They're like, yes, fuckingprank bro, fucking prank dudes,
and we just have to take them attheir word for it.
So, to answer your guys',question from the last video,

(47:25):
they now are saying that themilitary has been deployed
globally.
Please bear with us run amokdinosaur.
Um.
So I know we just talked abouta lot of stuff, giant squids,
military being deployed, butfuck all that shit.
We're moving on to a completelydifferent topic apex.
Predators are fuckingators arefucking resurfacing.
Alright.

Speaker 3 (47:41):
The Dungalastus no.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
No Wrong, it's actually the Anomalocaris and it
looks like a funky littleshrimp guy.
He's a little shrimp, he's anApex Predator.
He's one of the first ApexPredators.
Hey, hey, size doesn't matter,he's an apex predator.

Speaker 4 (48:01):
He's one of the first apex predators.
Hey, hey, size doesn't matter,yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
So we find out that this little scrimp Is back in
action, right.
And then we learn that they'reshipworms and they're destroying
boats and docks Because theyburrow into the wood and they're
like, damn it, all our shit'sfalling apart.
But don't worry, these shrimpyboys, they be eating the worms
and helping out.

(48:27):
So we're like, all right, coolshit.
Now we learn.
Now we learn, all right, thatthe order of I'm gonna butcher
this name the ordovician Krakenhas also emerged.
So I called it a giant squidearlier.
I was wrong.
All right, I admit, when I'mwrong, it's a Kraken, all right,

(48:49):
these dick bags will beattacking humans and they be
hiding in shallow seas Likethere's some sort of fucking
rock or something, and then theyjust they, they'll attack you.
They're kind of assholes.
Um is what we learn, um.
But but guess what?
We're on team kraken guys, andyou want, you want to know why

(49:11):
because they be eating greencrabs, bro.
They eat the green crabs, guys.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
Oh we're team.

Speaker 3 (49:20):
Kraken now.

Speaker 4 (49:22):
But Team Kraken.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Yeah, just based on that.
Based on that, we're on TeamKraken, so these things kind of
suck now, though, so they aren'tvery Apex anymore.
All right, both Shrimp Guy andKraken, they were Apex, no
longer Apex, now they're A-Sucks, am I?
right, they lost their apexityso because they suck so much ass

(49:47):
, we now eat the fuck out ofthem and apparently they're now
considered a thai delicacy.
And the video gets a littleweird.
And then we see the words humangreed flash on the screen and
then they're like alright, guys,like we got, like I know
they're really tasty and shitand they kind of suck and they
don't really do much.
So let's just like chill out,let's be cool for a minute,

(50:10):
let's not eat all of them.
And then we're told to pray forthese two guys because they
just be getting straight ate thefuck out of and yeah, and then
at the very end of the videothere's the weirdest looking
fish thing that I've ever seenin my life, which I think was
just above the screen.
Yeah, it's like I don't evenknow, but that's it.

(50:33):
That's all this video is andthat's the end of season two or
one, sorry.

Speaker 3 (50:38):
Hot damn.
So let me get this straight.
Season one ends by revealing tous that some of the big, bad
prehistoric creatures that comeout of the blue hole are shitty
they just suck, they're just bad.
That is the gist of this, ofthis video.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
Yep, we just eat them okay season one ends on shrimp.
Shrimp are edible, okay holyfuck.
I like how season one ends,with us still kind of on top.
We're like you're an apexpredator.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
We got more food now yeah, we'll fucking eat you dude
.
All the food that you guys areeating, I guess, are being
replaced by you, fucking uselessfuckers you ate my tuna.

Speaker 4 (51:28):
Now you're my tuna leveling out a bit right the
ecosystem.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
And then they're like well, there's this other big
ass guy that's eating the guythat's kind of ruining the
ecosystem, and we're eating thatso like.
And now there's two newdelicacies in the ocean that
we're eating a lot of, eventhough they're like hey, don't
go in the fucking ocean, youknow, you don't actually.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
We're actually, we're just better off honestly like
this is a.
This is great.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
We love this they're giant krakens like y'all can eat
for days.

Speaker 4 (51:58):
Oh yeah, absolutely that's the end of season one.
Now season two has two videos,and the last one actually came
out like two days ago orsomething Five days ago.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
Five days ago Pretty fresh.
Hell, yeah, I can.
We're not there yet.

Speaker 4 (52:17):
Yeah, so we can start it a little bit and go from
there.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
If you want, I can go over the Beast of the Earth,
vidya.

Speaker 4 (52:23):
Go for it, make sure you say the part, the very last
thing I said TLDR.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Yeah, can you just like sum it up?

Speaker 3 (52:30):
Oh, 100%.
So this is.
It's a 22 minute video and Iliterally I only have like 10
bullet points, 11 if you includewhere I very clearly fell
asleep on my keyboard.
It's called Beast of the Earth.
It's about 22, 23 minutes longand it's all about something
named Eden Squad and you get itthrough the eyes of one of the
individuals that is making theirway through a snow-covered

(52:51):
forest and they're followingsomething or someone at night.
They're talking with somebodyon the radio and they hear they
give them instructions sayinglike whatever they're following
could be dangerous.
And they give them instructionssaying whatever they're
following could be dangerous.
All of a sudden you hear a roarslash, scream or something, and
you hear orders given over theradio to meet at the rendezvous
point and then a big red-eyeddinosaur eats the remaining one

(53:16):
member of the Eden Squadassuming that it also ate the
rest of Eden Squad Then cutsover to AZUN News and says that
GPAC or the Global PrehistoricAffairs Commission.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Ah, you thought it was going to be different.
It's not.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
Funded a dinosaur response unit to deal with the
land dinos, and more people arebeing trained to fight dinos
every day.
They'll keep you safe, someonepromises.

Speaker 4 (53:43):
Someone.
Yes, they'll keep you safe myneighbors.

Speaker 3 (53:49):
This is actually where we bring back up the Dubba
.
The T-Rex named the Dubba iswreaking havoc.
It's appeared to evolve overtime based on every experience.
It has it like, adapts andevolves to whatever it needs.
Got a knife, but then it'skilled by g-pack, so there's no.
Can't really study it too much.
This one's got gun arms.

(54:10):
What happened?

Speaker 1 (54:12):
he evolved a gun where his eyes are what the?

Speaker 3 (54:15):
fuck.
It.
Then revisits theQuetzalcoatlus, which is a,
again, a large pterodactyl.
It's way, way, way bigger thana regular one and despite nearly
killing 20,000 of these things,the population still exceeds
about 530,000.
Are we eating them?
I don't know.

(54:35):
It didn't say.

Speaker 4 (54:36):
Probably should KFC KFQ Tucky Fried.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
Quetzalcoatl.
After they say this about the$530,000, we get a cut.
And it's not a cut, but someonebasically like hauses the news
report over to someone else bysaying now we're going over to
Corbin Brenner, over to you,corbin, in Buffalo, new York,
and literally this guy goes.
I need to sit in this momentfor a second.

Speaker 4 (55:01):
He literally goes and now to purr happily in Pawnee
Indiana now to Ollie, thehorrific slaughter of our
species how's it going, ollie?

Speaker 3 (55:17):
who randomly cuts to a person, hoping they have
something to say and like notknowing what you got for us,
corbin nothing.
And then all of a sudden hegoes, wait a minute, and then we
hear this horrible screamingand it just cuts.
After this is done, we get areport screaming and it just
cuts.

Speaker 4 (55:34):
After this is done, we get a report saying that
Oopie Jr has escaped the zoo.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
Oh, thank God he didn't die of TB and has taken
back everything I've ever saidabout analog horror.
If that was just like Oopie Jrdied of TB and then it just
moved on.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
I take back.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Everything I've ever said.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
Bring closure to that .
No, oompi Jr escapes andapparently Makes all the
zookeepers that were working atthat Zoo very, very ill With
something they don't know.
What, though?
Tb?
It's like super TB, I think, orLou Gehrig's other disease, I
don't know.

Speaker 4 (56:08):
Or Oompi Jr Jr Is there After they talk?

Speaker 3 (56:10):
or Oompi Jr Jr.
After they talk about Oompi Jrfor a little bit and talk about
how his maybe possibly super TBhas killed a bunch of people,
they start talking about Franceand they go France, you've been
invaded by Meganeura, which is agiant dragonfly that ate all of
your frog spiders anddragonflies, allowing pests to
run wild, devastating your cropsand people.

(56:32):
To deal with this, gpac is usingpesticides that may cause
significant harm to anybody whocomes into contact with them,
and they're using them en masse.
So great Good.
Thank you so much for that.
We see another.
There's another cut.
We see this lady who is tryingto apparently try to get her cat
back inside and she calls toLola over and over and over

(56:53):
again, and a fucking saber toothtiger walks to the door.
There's a bunch of screamingand horrendous noises.
Um, after this, we learn allabout the smile Don, which is
this giant cat saber tooth catand it hunts specifically
Brazilians.
After we learn this, and welearn it's fucking racist as

(57:16):
shit, but all the Brazilians aredisappearing because these cats
are eating them all.
Why?
Sorry, sorry.
And then the very last thing wehear from this
22-fucking-minute behemoth of avideo.
We get a big pep talk that goeson for five minutes and it says
the same thing over and over indifferent words, and all it
says is we will adapt and staysafe.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Dog this gate that's keeping this T-Rex in is not
doing shit.

Speaker 4 (57:39):
Unless, you're Brazilian.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
And can a T-Rex jump?

Speaker 2 (57:46):
I hope not Take that shit over.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
He could literally just fling himself over just uh,
but yeah, that's.

Speaker 3 (57:55):
That's the end of my video.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
I got nothing else to say about that all right well
it was a very chaotic video Ihave video too, and it's very
short.
I can sum it up in less than aminute probably.
Uh, this is called dire andit's the video from five days
ago.
So we get a point of view ofsomeone calling their mom on the
phone while they're driving.

(58:16):
The mom's kind of freaking out.
They're like fucking, ben ismissing, jason, I need you to go
find him.
And Jason's like fuck ma, likethat's 30 minutes away, you
bitch.

Speaker 3 (58:27):
Fuck ma.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
And then she's like, come on.
And he's like, all right, comeon, he better be dead or hurt if
I'm going to go look for him.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
Ma, this dinosaur Of all times.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
Yeah, so he calls Ben and he's like doesn't pick up
what are you going to say?

Speaker 3 (58:48):
I was going to say there's a magical leo pluridon
outside.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
I can't call him now, oh, absolutely um, so yeah, he
calls ben doesn't pick up hisphone.
Why would he?
He's fucking missing.
Um, we cut to a different viewof jason in the park and it
looks like he's like calling outfor ben, he's like walking this
path, and then you see or youhear him call you weren't
allowed near a park, not the oneat your house now yeah, he's

(59:13):
not.
Um, he calls ben and you canhear his phone ringing like he's
walking over like a bridge, andyou can hear his phone ringing
down by this riverbank and ofcourse he treks over to the
riverbank and what do we fuckingfind?
We find Ben's arm, just his arm.
And then he starts crying likea little bitch ass and starts

(59:33):
yelling.
He knows there's his arm right.
Clearly it's his arm, causeit's right next to his phone.

Speaker 2 (59:38):
So well, yeah, that's .

Speaker 1 (59:40):
But so, yeah, he's like his arm is there and he's
just like yelling Ben's name forlike another minute and I'm
like, bro, just stop um.
And then you hear a loud howllike this is like some, like
werewolf howl, ben.
Then jason starts clappingcheeks away from the area I'm
talking just like booking it andthen he runs right into what I

(01:00:02):
can only assume is a dire wolfuh, based on the title of the
video.
And then you just hear thisthing fucking eating Jason's
whole ass out, like you justhear something uh, uh.
Yet somehow, after gettingeaten the fuck out, this man is
still filming and it's like, bro, you're like dead, like you're

(01:00:25):
dying.
Why, like put the video cameradown, brother?
The gray's got nothing, that'sall it is.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
I need you to stop talking about eating Jason out.
I really it's not a something Iwant to succumb to.

Speaker 4 (01:00:40):
It's a furry's dream a big ol' wolf eating.

Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
Jason, I ate my butt, oh no oh yeah, that's all that
video is, so it looks like itfeels like, potentially, they're
moving away from the like newsanalog version of this story and
their season two is going tobecome a found footage on
fiction, whatever you want tocall it.

(01:01:05):
Yep, um, I hope they continuethat route, even though, clearly
, we really really like thisstory.

Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
I don't know why you're saying it like you're
being sarcastic there's nosarcasm in that review time
alright, yeah, let's review it.

Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
What do we think, boys?

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
It's not the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 3 (01:01:36):
Yeah, the worst thing I've ever seen in my life
brought the direct downfall tothe nation of Yugoslavia.
Communism, no glass ass, ohwhat, oh by God, we have to
cover that Cool.
That's my next weird thing Ifound on Reddit.
We have to cover that Cool.
That's my next weird thing Ifound on Reddit.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
Let's just talk about that now instead.

Speaker 4 (01:01:57):
Yeah, I, here's the thing.
It's not that this is bad, butI also don't understand how it
has so many views.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
Like it just doesn't feel like it was thought out.
The concept is fun.

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
Yeah, the season two stuff is a lot better than the
season one stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
Yes, the most recent video is not terrible.

Speaker 2 (01:02:19):
If it had just been that, I'd have been like I want
to see what happened.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
I think you're right, though, matt.
I think if they would have donethat in the first season a
little bit more, where, insteadof it feeling like a nature
documentary, they had a littlebit of people coming in contact
with these things, like with thewoman and the saber-toothed
tiger or whatever, that shit I'mall about.
You know what I'm saying?
Give me that.
Let me see that shit give methat.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
Let me see that shit.
Yeah, like the first two videos, the second one especially, it
just seems like they were tryingto figure out what they could
do with ai, because it's on allthe videos in the second video
video, or ai.
The third one is more like 3dstuff yeah, a lot of them.

Speaker 4 (01:03:02):
Like nature documentaries yeah, they take a
lot of the.
They credit, uh where they getall the footage from in every
description.
A lot of it's from like old umwalking with dinosaurs and uh,
like apple tv has their newwalking with dinosaurs show,
they took a bunch of footagefrom there I think they got a
lot of flack for using ai in thesecond one.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
So they were like all right, we're gonna cut this
down a little bit in the thirdone, and so they went a
different direction yeah, well,at Well, at least they listened
For the best, I mean, if that'sthe case.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
And now that you say that each like progressive
episode or progressive videodoes seem like it changes and
tweaks, just like a little bit.

Speaker 4 (01:03:38):
I'm glad that it's short.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
I don't mean that the best thing about this is it
doesn't take much.

Speaker 4 (01:03:46):
No, not to sound like an ass, but it doesn't take
much.
Not to sound like an ass, but Ihate an analog horror where
it's like 75 videos of nothing.
This gets right to it.
It's like four episodes, bam,season one's done On to the next
fucking thing.
I'm here for that.
Give me a short, littleconfined story.
It's tight, it's a tight.
Four videos, it's all I need.
I think concept fun.

(01:04:09):
I think it went about it in aweird way yeah, the concept's
fine, I mean it's just.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
It's one of those things right where it's like
somebody who probably hasn'tmade a lot of stuff starts
working on stuff and thenfiguring out what they can do
and that's, it's just that'sawesome yeah, I actually hope it
gets better from here, becauseI mean a dinosaur, arg, or uh
analog horror, I guess is prettyneat in theory.

(01:04:34):
Yeah, the truth there is areally good analog horror.
Tropes are just so heavy in thefirst few episodes.

Speaker 3 (01:04:40):
Oh, god the eas, I like.
I saw that fucking frame and Igo god people.

Speaker 2 (01:04:47):
I understand that you , like everybody, wants to make
a thing because they're inspiredby another thing, but how many
of these do we need?

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
If you're a snowman and you're listening to us right
now, I challenge you to make agood analog horror and not use
any single newscast type oftrope.
Don't give me one.
I don't want to see what theweather is and fucking butt fuck
man I'd be happy with like 50,50, like 50% something else.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
Give me even less.
Give me like 25.
I'll take 25%, like I'll.
I'll take a.
Give me a 60, 40.

Speaker 4 (01:05:30):
Yeah, yeah, I'll take 25% Like.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
I'll.
I'll take a, give me a 60, 40.

Speaker 4 (01:05:33):
Yeah, yeah, I, uh, I'm with you, it's, it's just.
This is definitely seems likeit's probably just some guys
like first attempt at something.
At least that's the vibe I got,which is good for you, cause I
can't make shit, so good on you.
But it's just very weird that itit's just very weird how
popular it is.
Like each one of these has like200, almost 200,000 views each,
and it's like this right not tosound mean, but we've covered a

(01:05:57):
lot of shit prior to this thatlike it's really interesting how
things things get found likeyeah some people obviously just
get lucky, like fucking, what'sit that we just covered that I
can't remember the name of now?

Speaker 1 (01:06:12):
me neither.

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
Oh, the one we really like Midwest Angelica there are
videos in that series that havefewer views than some of these
videos, and that's like criminalyeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
I agree.
So do we think this is real orfake?

Speaker 4 (01:06:32):
it's real, okay, it's very real yeah, maybe I doubt
we'll come back to this, butwe'll see how it goes.
Maybe you'll see a part two oneof these days yeah, maybe it's
gone somewhere.

Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
Super cool, like I said, the last two videos, the
most recent video especially iscooler.
It's the pleat.
Okay, I, I will plead for this.
I'll excuse the the newsbroadcast.
I gotta get one real goodcomplaining you know me I can't,
I can't not be an asshole aboutthis.
I can excuse the news broadcastformat.
Please stop making newsbroadcast formats or like found

(01:07:14):
footage formats, whereeverything goes glitchy and then
it shows you something you'renot supposed to see for no
reason.
If you're gonna use that as amechanic, have a reason don't
just be like.
We made this news broadcast.
Oops, we accidentally animatedthis graphic death and also put
it in the final cut like what?

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
and then glitched it out a little bit.
Do you not have any QA?

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
yeah, stop doing that .
It's just a pet peeve at thispoint, and if it does, happen.

Speaker 3 (01:07:45):
Come up with the reason.
Be like hey, like we fucking,we finished this, we finalized,
we rendered it.
None of this shit was here.
Like what the fuck right?
If there's like an in universereason, if it does happen, come
up with a reason.
Be like hey, we finished this,we finalized, we rendered it,
none of this shit was here.
What?

Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
the fuck happened, right?
If there's an in-universereason for it, that's fine.

Speaker 3 (01:07:54):
Yeah, don't do it just because Build your world
you have to make sure your worldhas the ability to answer
questions of anyone who'swatching or interacting with it
at all.

Speaker 4 (01:08:02):
You could could very easily be like oh, you know that
, like you see the glitches inthe next episode, they're like
oh the uh, the local protestgroup that is protesting, uh uh,
like us hunting the dinosaurs,or whatever, has hijacked the
broadcast system,hurdy-durdy-durn or if you're

(01:08:22):
like showing something on livenews and something bad happens
and you're like, oh shit, cutthe cameras like that hang in
there, baby.

Speaker 2 (01:08:30):
That's a trope in found footage movies and that's
fine, I think.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
Not everything needs a glitch.

Speaker 3 (01:08:37):
You don't need the.
You can say out loud thatsomeone didn't like what was
happening.
So they shut the camera off.
That's fine.

Speaker 4 (01:08:47):
The concept is weird.
These holes just open up andyou know dinosaurs are coming
out.
That's cool.
But like they're adding inthese glitches and like this
reverse audio and things thatare like alluding that, it's
like this weird supernaturalthing, but they don't ever
there's yeah, I make aprediction.

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
Yeah, there's like.
There's like a.
Yeah, well it is.
There's like a we send a thingat the end of it too, and it's
like yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 3 (01:09:18):
So in in universe, I'm pretty sure G pack caused
this to happen and now, in orderto control it, they are
assuming responsibility andthat'll come out in either
season three or four, if theycould get their kind of thing.
That's kind of what I where Ithink this is going.
Yeah Well, it's set up nicelyfor that, but we'll see.

Speaker 4 (01:09:31):
We've talked about it for an hour and ten minutes.
I would like to say find us onall our social medias.
We're DeloodyPod everywhere.
Or don't look under theinternet.
Go to our YouTube page.
That'd be cool too.
Just don't look under theinternet.
You should do it.
Send us an email DeloodyPod atg dot com.

(01:09:51):
That's about all I got, and Imust say If you come across a
dinosaur, suck a stick, don't,don't.

Speaker 3 (01:09:54):
Just don't, just no, you're right, we had a whole
episode about this.
Yeah, how do I?

Speaker 4 (01:09:58):
do the, do the don't do the don't do the big old,
don't don't Matt, what do yougot?

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
I don't know.
Make, make things, don't worryabout what people say.
Our opinions don't matter,don't let it bother you.

Speaker 4 (01:10:17):
Yeah, we're a bunch of bums on the internet.
I just hate it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
It's not personal at this point at all.
It's just all the same.
But we will judge you based ona little.
I appreciate that people areout there making content and
putting it on the internet forlike, no Like, not monetizing it
really.
Like this person monetizes this.
There is a merch shop for this,but it's like I do appreciate

(01:10:41):
that.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
There's like free content you can just go see on
the internet and like they havea whole Discord Azon Studios or
whatever, and they actually dohave a couple other projects or
a project that they did beforethis I didn't really deep dive
into it or anything.
So it seems like they have afairly small community that I

(01:11:03):
don't want to say small, but Idon't know the size of their
community, but they have acommunity that they're a part of
and people seem to like that'scool man.

Speaker 4 (01:11:14):
I'm glad that people like things 's yeah, yeah, doug,
do you have something?

Speaker 1 (01:11:16):
to say people, if you see dinosaur and your first
thought is is this a time whereI should slap my peen against
this thing?

Speaker 3 (01:11:27):
don't.
I like how you said no and thenshook your head up and down
like don't, don't, don'tactually our video listeners and
our audio listeners are gonnaget two different messages there
can I just go?

Speaker 2 (01:11:42):
subliminal messaging can I just go back and redo mine
real quick?
Yeah, own some dunks, that'sall I got.

Speaker 3 (01:11:50):
Doing some fucking dunks.

Speaker 2 (01:11:53):
I'm just going to edit it, so it's like that's
what I said.

Speaker 4 (01:11:55):
The first time.
Who's out pooning their dunks?
People, you guys going to theDunkapoon convention.

Speaker 3 (01:12:03):
What do you got for us, jason?
Stay paranoid.
One of us might say the wordsDunkapoon near you in the future
, and nobody should be preparedfor that.
We're going to put that on ashirt.

Speaker 2 (01:12:14):
Dunkapoon sounds like a place you send a postcard
from it really does.

Speaker 1 (01:12:18):
Greetings from.

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
Dunkapoon.

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
Pretty sick vocal stems this episode guys.

Speaker 2 (01:12:24):
I appreciate 50 miles outside.

Speaker 4 (01:12:26):
Billings.
Remember everybody stay spooky,stay stupid, stay fucking
stupid.
Most important, remembereverybody stay spooky, stay
stupid, stay fucking stupid.
Most important.

Speaker 3 (01:12:33):
Bye everybody, we love you kind of.

Speaker 2 (01:12:54):
Don't look under the internet.