DLUTI 199 - Long Furbies and Hispanic Colonel Sanders ft. Aliens - Don't Look Under the Internet

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
a fellow racist.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Don't look under the really tall podcast a different
way, yeah.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (00:42):
Yeah, yeah, hello.
Welcome to.
Don't Look Under the ReallyTall Podcast.
Hey everybody, fuck you.
Welcome to Ashlogs, part 5.

Speaker 5 (00:56):
And I'm leaving.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Welcome to Don't Look Under the Internet, an internet
comedy horror podcast starringyours truly, doug, matt, jason
and Mike.

Speaker 5 (01:03):
Hello everybody, you're not welcome here.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Okay, comedy horror podcast starring yours truly
doug, matt, jason and mike helloeverybody, you're not welcome
here.

Speaker 5 (01:27):
Okay, I guess this with each other for a hot minute
, so we're getting it all out ofthe way.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
One has an episode of our night, so it's a it's bound
to just be more unhinged thisis episode two.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
one of us hasn't slept in two days and we all
haven't seen each other in likethree weeks, so it was bound to
get a little freaky at one pointof the night.

Speaker 5 (01:50):
I don't have pants on .

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Nice Too heavy yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
So let's kind of jump into it.
I don't have any shout outs orhousekeeping because I mean,
this is the second episode ofthe night, so let's kind of jump
into it.
Last time we went over someyoutube channels.
This time around we're lookingat some weird reddit posts that
we all found, found a good likefive.
I want to say one, two, three,four.
Yeah, I found a five of themthat I wanted to bring up and

(02:16):
discuss.
Um, something I found out.
I don't know if you got.
Boys had the same problem as me, doug, I think you did, uh,
because we talked about it.
But boys had the same problemas me, doug, I think you did,
because we talked about it.
But it's getting harder to findthose discussion post ones like
the like your.
I'm finding post-it notes allover my house.
I don't know where they camefrom.

(02:38):
Yeah, or ones like that.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I'm having a difficult time finding ones like
that, but I did find some weirdshit and they've all been
talked about today.

Speaker 3 (02:45):
That's that, but I did find some weird ones, and
they've all been talked abouttoday.
That's fair.
I didn't find some weird shit,though, so we'll get into it.
But um, who wants to start?

Speaker 5 (02:52):
oh, I don't, because I have one that has like a
little bit of a story to it andit branches off in a couple
directions I'll start okay no,go for it I was going to start
in the opposite direction andjust do one of my really quick
ones.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
That, I think, is just one of the funniest things
I found on Reddit while justhaving a hard time finding a
topic.
Hell yeah, so this is from nineyears ago.
Super simple thread.
It's an Ask Reddit, which a lotof my shit is actually going to
come from tonight, and theprompt was by a man named pre-op

(03:32):
, pre-op trans centaur.
Okay, but you can have his post.
Their post was about you canhave sex with one real person
from all of human history who isyour ultimate lay.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
I love this one.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
And the top comment is from someone that goes by
Phil8248.
And they said I'd like to havesex one more time with my wife,
who passed away from cancer nineyears ago.
My body yearns for hers.
The ultimate downside tofinding the one is she may die
young and leave you wanting.
The top comments on this wasjust I also choose this guy's

(04:16):
dead wife.
I've seen this before.
Oh my god, I fucking love this.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
I think I saw this when this was posted, you just
pulled this one out of the backof my mind, holy shit.

Speaker 5 (04:32):
I think I remember running into this across running
too.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
I came across this like two weeks ago and I'm glad
it came up again.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
The comments on this are actually like fucking gold,
like someone just goes holyfucking shit, my dude.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
My favorite thing about that comment is the guy
that says holy fucking shit, mydude.
This whole thread's from nineyears ago.
He posted the comment nineyears ago and then next to it it
says edited seven years ago sothis guy came back to it two
years later two years later thisneeds something else.

Speaker 5 (05:03):
Hold on.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
I also choose this guy's dead wife.

Speaker 5 (05:08):
I think.
Here's what I think.
Are you talking about, thatbeing the edited comment, that I
also choose this guy's deadwife?

Speaker 4 (05:15):
No, it's the one under it.

Speaker 5 (05:19):
Okay, so I took it as the I also choose this guy's
dead wife.
I thought the original was Ichoose this guy's dead wife, and
then two years later he's likewell, no, somebody else already
picked it.
I have to put the word also inhere, so everyone knows that
it's been picked twice.
Yeah, what the fuck my guy.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
I also choose this guy's dead wife.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
Yeah, I was uh again.
I was having a hard timefinding stuff on reddit, for
whatever reason, and I cameacross this post and I was like
I fucking love this post.
This guy just said, uh, whatwas the other one?
He said my necro my necro.
Oh good lord, that's my myicebreaker for this episode.

(06:02):
You know what?
I'm glad you went first.
Same.
Oh good lord, alright, that'smy icebreaker for this episode,
for everyone.
You know what?

Speaker 5 (06:06):
I'm glad you went first.
Same that shit was.
Yeah, I remember running acrossthat, Fucking hilarious.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
I'll start off with one from three years ago from
User from the High Strangenesssub, which a couple of mine are
going to come from there.
It's from User678 990655.
Guard welcomes invisible guestsat 3am.
Finitio, which a couple of mineare going to come from there.
It's from user 678-990-655.
Guard welcomes invisible guestsat 3 am.
Financio Sanctorium.

Speaker 5 (06:32):
Building Argentina 2022.
These are your.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
I think these might be some of your favorite videos
I have come across so fuckingmany of these videos.

Speaker 5 (06:37):
Dude, you just go to Slapped Ham's YouTube channel.
There's fucking millions ofthem.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Slapped Ham.

Speaker 5 (06:42):
okay, yeah, just check out S there's fucking
millions of them.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
Slapped ham, okay yeah, check out.
Slapped ham, oh yeah.
But yeah, it's literally like asecurity guard.
It's it's footage from afucking like office or a
building or something.
There's a security guard, hejust fucking hi to a person and
opens up the little like tethergate and like walks them over
and like has like a full blownconversation with the person,
grabs a wheelchair and like it'slike they sit in it and they go

(07:09):
like wheel them away andeverything.
It's freaking, freaky.
And I love these type of videosbecause I can't tell if they're
fake or not, because they theymove.
The guy moves and acts and likehe's actually talking to a
person.
That's very, very hard to fake.
Like the motions you do whenyou're talking to a person right
in front of you, compared tobeing like, oh, act like you're
talking to a person.
That's hard to do.
It's not hard to edit someoneout of it.

Speaker 4 (07:25):
What if the guy is yeah, has some sort of psychosis
or something like himself.
Like what if he's just like noton his like his drugs today and
he's fucking?

Speaker 2 (07:39):
this guy's not even a security guard.
It says uh, uh.

Speaker 5 (07:42):
Oh shit, first comment it says uh, something,
sanatorium building.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
This guy may be oh yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
So it's a patient, maybe even.
But one of the comments sayswhat's really interesting is
when he brings out thewheelchair for the quote unquote
person to sit in, the chairactually jolts like someone sits
down at it with him barelytouching it.
Hmm, hmm, fascinating.
But there's a lot of thesevideos out there.
I've seen a bunch of these.
I think we talked about one onan episode a while ago.

Speaker 5 (08:06):
Yeah well, you've also talked about the time that
you ran into your ghost in themovie theater.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Well, yeah, the police cop.
He's walking a thin blue linebetween the veil, you know like,
that's just how it is.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Guys, it's spooky season time.
We're real close to fuckingOctober.

Speaker 5 (08:21):
We're halfway to October, I feel it creeping.

Speaker 4 (08:25):
You know what my next theory is.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
You know what my next theory is watching this video.
He's sitting at the desk andthe door opens by itself right,
as if somebody's walking in.
And I think he's just doing itfor entertainment, because this
is what he does every time.
Somebody walks in, right andhe's like, oh, somebody's
walking in, he's like somebody'swalking in.
He's like, oh, never mind,there's nobody there, but just
as a goof, he just goes throughthe motions anyway because he
thought it would be fuckingbored yeah doing a little god

(08:51):
being a little gaffer.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Yeah, maybe he was like oh, this is how I get
famous, this is how I do it.
I can hate the front page ofreddit, okay, um, yeah, I just I
, I liked that one.
I thought it was a littlefascinating.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
Epic ep yeah it's pretty good.

Speaker 5 (09:06):
I like those ones, those are fun.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
I got a shorty, I got a lot of shorties.
I'm a shorty.
What you got for me, I got alot of shorties and a lot of
shotties.
So stop me, if you have, ifwe've talked about this one
before, because we're getting tothe point where we've talked
about, so many subreddits that Ihave no idea what the fuck
we've talked about anymore, butmine is long, furby's.

Speaker 5 (09:31):
I have a long Furby in the other room.
I think I talked about this inconjunction with the Furby organ
.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
This, so this is a subreddit dedicated to.
Furby's, that are just reallylong, yeah, and that's why.

Speaker 4 (09:44):
And where did you get a long Furby?
Yeah, why do you have a longFurby?
I'll be back.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
Okay.
I need Doug to explain to me ifthis is a thing.

Speaker 5 (09:52):
He's about to show us that it is yeah, I guess,
here's just a Furby.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
That is Tina from Bob's Burgers.

Speaker 5 (09:59):
A Furby that is Tina.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
This is a Subway sandwich, furby what the fuck.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
He does have a long Furby.
Oh my god, it's huge.
What is it?
What the fuck Doug Is this athing?

Speaker 4 (10:15):
It's long Furby.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Why.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
Is this a?

Speaker 2 (10:17):
thing.
Where'd you get that?

Speaker 3 (10:20):
Why do you own that?
It's got baby heads all over it, I know.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
So I have to explain.
It's not mine, it's Lissa's.
I got it for her.
On Etsy, somebody does a blindbox.
It's got bells on it.
It's called a cursed.
It was like a blind box longFurby, but it was like there was
like different themes and Ipicked cursed, so I got her this

(10:49):
it's so fucked up, jesus christ, okay, well, apparently this is
the whole.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Thing so somebody in the discord fucking says I know
somebody that makes those.
She puts plastic splines inthem what?
Apparently?
This is the whole thing that Iwasn't even aware of until
earlier when I found thissubreddit.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
They're putting effort into making them.
It seems like I wonder ifthey're the Furbies with the
electronics in them, like theystill move their face and their
eyes and everything.

Speaker 5 (11:15):
Jesus Christ, I just glanced over at the fucking
stream.
That is horrifying, holy shit.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
Doug, does the Furby do anything?

Speaker 5 (11:26):
No, it gives you nightmares.
Yes, it does so many things.

Speaker 6 (11:30):
I mean it's cursed.
It does other world weirdthings.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
Are long Furbies.
Apparently they have fetus.
Friday.

Speaker 5 (11:40):
Oh, there you go.
That's good.
If you like that, you shouldcheck out the guy that made a
Homemade Furby organ or Furbypiano and it works.
It sounds.
This is the musical instrumentof hell, like 100%.
There is no other instrumentthat can be substituted.
It's super fucked.
But, yeah, everybody wants tofuck with them.

(12:04):
What do you got?
J J-Bones?
I have something much lesshilarious, j-dog.
Much less hilarious it is.
Honestly mine was a weird seriesof events on Reddit for me, so
it's one story, but I found itacross three separate Reddit

(12:25):
posts that were unrelated.
Hmm, so the first one, thefirst one I had, is was it was
just a simple post and I thinkit was from I don't have it
saved, I think it was from justlike the like the New South
Wales in Australia, like thecommunity subreddit or something
.
Like the new south wales inaustralia, like the community

(12:45):
subreddit or something, and itbasically warned people that hey
, there's this guy in a, in avan or a car or something like
that that is sitting out inplaces at night and he's, he's
got.
He takes his like, he takes thetire off and he takes his
jacket and he waits there for acar to come by, flags him down
and says like hey, my jack's notworking.
Like I need help, like can youhelp me?
As soon as they get out of thecar, the guy fucking kills him.

(13:07):
Oh, so it was, it was a serialkiller.
That was that they did not, itcouldn't identify, yet they
could, they hadn't caught.
It was at large um, and I wasreading through this and I was
basically reading through someof like australia's serial
killers.
So I read this story.
I'm like, okay, that's notreally a like australia has a
serial killer, is not really areddit story that I'd want to

(13:28):
bring to this this type ofepisode.
So I keep, I'm keeping looking,I'm continuing to look and then
I find another post not in newsouth wales, this is just on r
slash, ask reddit.
And this is what it says.
It says kind of creepy at thetime but scary afterwards.
Long time ago, driving fromboral to barima in new south

(13:51):
wales state in australia, mywife and I were flagged down by
a guy asking to borrow a carjack, because his van which he
said was his sister's uh-oh, andyes, it was white had a flat
before.
Jack didn't work.
Guy was creepy and we just said, nah, mate, mate, and took off.
A little while later we saw thephoto of the serial killer,
ivan Milat, who had been caughtby them.

(14:12):
Pretty sure it was that guy andthe van was an exact match or
an aura.
So now I get a fuckingfirsthand account from these
random redditors on a completelyseparate subreddit that just
say that we actually hadinteractions with this fucking
Australian serial killer.
Now it's around this littlestory out the very.

(14:39):
The last post was more of.
It's an article and it's.
I had to go to the waybackmachine to find this because a
lot of places the actual text isno longer there.
Um, it's back from like 2011, Ithink, and it is titled ivan
milat on hunger strike overplaystation.
Okay, um, so apparently he wasso angry, like, so he got, he

(15:03):
got caught, heuted, he got putin prison.
Much later, he refused food, hewould not eat and apparently he
dropped 25 kilograms.
I don't know what that is inpounds.
25 kilos is like.
I can't do that math.
Yeah, do the math for me.
What's 25 kilos in pounds?

(15:24):
55 pounds, cool, 55 fuckingpounds.
That is a lot.
That's too much.
All because he just wanted aPlayStation, playstation 1.
Oh, I get it.
Then I know you get it.
He was 66 years old and hisweight dropped from 85 kilos to
60 kilos before he gave up hishunger strike the warden.

(15:50):
Literally he had an interviewand apparently he couldn't stop
laughing about this, basicallysaying, like, yeah, there's not
a single inmate in this prisonthat has anything like a game
console.
I want to play Tony Hawk ProSkater anything like a game
console.
Like, I want to play Tony Hawkpro skater.
Um, apparently in previously in2009,.

(16:10):
Uh, milat cut off a finger andmailed it to the high court of
Australia.
Um, and in that he, yeah, he'sapparently cutting off fingers
was was a thing for him, and hecut off his finger, like at the
beginning of this, like I want aplaystation.
Cut one finger off, mailed itto the high court of australia,

(16:32):
and then he stopped becauseapparently that's when he
realized that he needs his handsto use the playstation.
So he's like, hmm, time to goto toes.
What else can I do here?
Um, and yeah, it's.
That's honestly that, liketowards the end of the story, I
just thought the coincidence offinding fucking three separate

(16:53):
related stories about this one.
Ivan man on this about firstfinding, just like a random post
about a serial killer that justturned to be up to be like man.
This is not that interesting.
They're finding a real redditorwho had a real encounter with
this serial killer at night inAustralia to then kind of
looking into this man's psyche.
Who will cut his fingers offfor PlayStation?

Speaker 3 (17:14):
I don't get to play Spyro the fucking dragon, spyro
the dragon, I will chop off mythumb and I will eat it, and
then eat it.
Yes.

Speaker 5 (17:26):
Like this potato chip .
Yeah, interesting is that was Iliterally I fuck it.
I was high as piss as I wasfalling down this rabbit hole
and I was just absolutely fullwhat ivan's up to.
I was like, how the fuck, howare all these posts finding me?
I think at one point I wasconvinced that, like he knew, I
was searching for him, right he?

Speaker 3 (17:42):
he went on a hunger strike until he could get all
your cell phone data.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
Until he could be a member of Deluty.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
That's a shitty hunger strike.
Did he have a serial killername?

Speaker 5 (17:52):
Like the carjack killer or something If he did?

Speaker 4 (17:56):
I don't think Ivan the van man.

Speaker 5 (17:58):
Ivan the van man.

Speaker 4 (18:01):
Ivan van man.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
Ivan, no, no, you human that van Ivan van Ivan.
No, no, you human, that vanIvan yeah, ivan van van.
Ivan van van Doug, you gotanother one for us.

Speaker 4 (18:20):
I do okay, so I have two from the same post.
Actually, do you want weird andmore discussional, or do you
want just gross and silly?
Gross and silly.
You want more silly, I wantdiscussional.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
I want discussional.

Speaker 4 (18:43):
I mean we're going to get to all of them.

Speaker 5 (18:45):
Discussional.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
Discussional.

Speaker 5 (18:47):
Let's do a discussion .
Okay, all right.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
So this one is from another Ask Reddit and this is a
question from someone namedOhGoshWhereToBegin and they said
throwaway time what's yoursecret?
That could literally ruin yourlife if it came out.
And they said throwaway timewhat's your secret?
That could literally ruin yourlife if it came out?
And they said I decided to postthis partially because I'm
interested in reaction to thisBlah, blah, blah.

(19:13):
They're just trying to getpeople to you know, tell their
darkest, deepest secrets.
So this one is from a throwawayaccount and it said two and a
half.
So this is actually.
This is from 13 throwawayaccount, and it said two and a
half.
So this is actually.
This is from 13 years ago.
But it said two and a halfyears ago I was in dire
financial straits so I sold myhome to keep my struggling
business afloat.

(19:33):
I neglected to tell the ownersthat they have an 800 square
foot bunker on the property thatI built about seven years ago,
the bunker that I've called homesince I sold it.
The entrance to it is wellhidden, but I still come and go
very, uh, very late in the day.
I'm a single man who keeps tohimself and I'm now in a
situation where I could movesomewhere else, but I love this

(19:56):
hidden paradise so much.
So basically, this man is livingon his old property in a bunker
that the new property ownersdon't even know about.
Um, and I mean, the commentsare pretty pretty much like show
us the bunker.
We want to see the bunker.
But unfortunately the fuckingperson who posted it did not

(20:16):
respond to anyone.
Um, but yeah, I just thought.
I thought that was kind offucking crazy.

Speaker 5 (20:22):
I was like damn that is like when people find their
ways into other people's atticsand like when everyone goes to
bed.
They come out at night and Iknow that happens because Kelly
has a family member and somebodyelse that she knows.
It happened to both of themwhere somebody was living in
their attic.
This is like the fucking.
This is like the doomsdayversion of that.
So I want to sell my land, butI'm still going to live on my

(20:45):
land, Is there?

Speaker 3 (20:46):
any evidence that this is real, because I can be
like, yeah, I'm living onsomeone else's house right now.
I don't have to prove it if noone's asking for proof.

Speaker 4 (20:56):
I don't think they wanted to post about it.
Okay.
So one person said can you posta pic of the bunker?
I just want to see what itlooks like on the inside.
And someone goes nice, try newhomeowners.

Speaker 5 (21:13):
I wonder if there's a homeowner out there that just
has like a.
They can't prove it, but theyhave a sneaking suspicion that
someone's living under theirbackyard yeah, there's.

Speaker 4 (21:22):
There's like I'm not even kidding there's thousands
of comments under this one postand it's everybody saying kind
of the same shit.
Like people are being like, uh,this is fucking awesome, like
imagine if, like, uh, the end ofthe world happens and you just
pop up one day and you're likehey, guys, you can come in here

(21:42):
get inside.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Who the fuck are you, the old homeowner?

Speaker 4 (21:47):
uh, one of the posts or one of the comments is from
someone and they just go this isso fucking creepy and they got
just super fucking downvoted.
And then, uh, someone was likeI love how you get downvoted
while a guy living underneath afamily's house in secret is
being praised.

Speaker 5 (22:07):
As long as he's not putting cameras in their house
and shit, they're notinteracting.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
Yeah, and also also also technically, depending on
where you live, you don't ownthe land underneath you, don't?
So he might not be breaking anylaws if we're being technical,
technically.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Yeah, I guess now I'm having an internal battle with
myself.
If I found out that a personwas living underneath my house
in a bunker, but like theyweren't coming up and creeping
on me or listening to me oranything would I really care?

Speaker 5 (22:37):
Oh, I'd drill a tube right Like and I'd put like a
Like a, like a male like a male.
Like I cut out just for my assand I would constantly fart in
through that hole just all thefucking time but, what if it's a
fart, this is a cool dude, it'sa chill guy that smells like
farts.

Speaker 4 (22:55):
I would just be like, hey, now if nuclear war breaks
out, just let me into the bunker.
That's all I ask.
Just let me.

Speaker 5 (23:03):
I'll drop four cans of food down the hole every day
and monthly.
I will give you a can of beans,your monthly bean right, beans
and wieners every single daysomeone else said he wrote this
on their Wi-Fi he totally didtoo.

(23:23):
Oh my god, that's funny someonesearches his ip, they're like
hey, that's my ip, yeah waitwhat the login is coming from
inside the house.

Speaker 3 (23:35):
Um, that's interesting, to say the least.

Speaker 4 (23:38):
Um yeah, it was pretty, pretty silly.
I thought it was interesting.
For sure I have.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
I'm going to do these two back to back because
they're pretty short.
So this one is from r slashdamn, that's interesting from
Flavius Marcesius or somethinglike that.
I don't know how to say it, butthere you go.
Tesla collision avoidance.
Detecting invisible man atcemetery.
Have you guys seen these?
Videos.
I know.

Speaker 5 (24:07):
Dude, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
I know I just went down a ghost hole, but yeah,
it's this dude parked at acemetery and he's showing his
Tesla and it's showing a personlike the figure walking up.
Let me.

Speaker 5 (24:24):
Okay, let's go back.
It is not showing a person, itis showing the animation on the
console that the sensors in thecar are actually something that
they think is a person yes, in acemetery coincidence, oh, but
it's moving around it's likewalking around

Speaker 4 (24:40):
yeah, it's walking around.
You think it's having okay.
So the people listening.
When you're looking at thevideo you can see the Tesla
screen, but when they look upover the screen they're showing
a cemetery plot.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Empty-ass cemetery.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
And it's just a lot of flowers.
There's a lot of flowers whichmakes me have to assume that
it's sensing flowers and notknowing, and the movement of
them which makes me have toassume that it's sensing flowers
and not knowing and like themovement of them because of the
wind.
Either that or it's just likepicking up different ones all
the time.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
These cameras are very sophisticated.
They know the differencebetween, like stop signs and
people.

Speaker 5 (25:16):
I don't think flowers are throwing off.

Speaker 4 (25:17):
Stop signs don't move .
And Zach Bagans in here.
He knows the tech, he does.
Are they using a Kinect?
He knows the tech he does.
Are they using a connect?

Speaker 3 (25:26):
just tape to the side .
I don't know, dude, like thesethings are super sophisticated
like they can recognize a car isa car, not a person, I mean
it's very brightly lit.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
So like I have some experience in this, because this
is basically my senior projectin college was to like detect
shit with our cameras like this,and it would have to be very,
very wrong to think theseflowers are a person like you'd
have to, you'd have to fuck uptraining the model to make it

(25:58):
well then, so how does itdetermine a person to like, uh,
like, let's say like a tombstone, for example, like, how does it
differentiate that?

Speaker 4 (26:06):
like?
What's the?
Yeah, you, essentially thescience behind that.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
You essentially just feed it a bunch of images and
videos of what you want and then, it groups things together.
So like, if you want it to beable to detect people, you show
it a bunch of images of peopleand then a bunch of images of
other things that aren't people,and then you go through and be
like this is a person, this is aperson, this is not a person.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
You train it like a toddler.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Basically.
Yeah, it's a neural netprocessor a learning computer.
It's basically like thecomputer's a toddler and you're
holding up.
What color is this?
Green?
It's basically that, butcomputer.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
Hmm, so what do you think?
If you're, if you're?

Speaker 2 (26:51):
if you're four year old, if you hold up a picture of
one of these flowers.
You're a four year old andyou're like what is this?
And they're like person You'regonna be like.
You're a fucking idiot.
You're hopeless they andthey're like so what a ghost is.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
So, Matt, you have, you have the most reference
point here.
What do you think could begoing on Like?
Do you think this could be amalfunction with it?
Do you think what, what, whatcould be possibly happening?

Speaker 2 (27:15):
The most likely thing , I think that's going on here,
aside from like I suppose it'spossible that it is
malfunctioning and picking upthose flowers, but what I think
is more likely is that maybethere's like something over the
sensor, like a bug or something,yeah, that you can't see in
this video that it's actuallypicking up instead Gotcha.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
I wonder too if it's.
I mean, this might be lookingtoo much into it, it.
But another part of me wondersif this is faked, like he's just
got like a thumb drive pluggedin or something that has like a
custom made video because if youlook at the map there, he's
also moving.
Oh yeah, it does show him goingone mile per hour.

Speaker 5 (27:58):
He is moving.

Speaker 3 (28:01):
Yeah, actually, yeah.
The video shows him going onemile per hour it starts at zero,
but he let.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
Oh yeah, he moves, he moves a little yeah you see him
move, you see him moving itcould also be never mind not
necessarily that the camera'spicking something up, but the
more it's a malfunction with thedisplay itself and it's showing
this yeah, when it shouldn't beshowing like it.
It's like like the person thingwhen it's not supposed to.

Speaker 3 (28:26):
Gotcha.
I don't know man Coincidence,it's happening in a cemetery,
probably.
I just think it's neat.

Speaker 5 (28:36):
I wonder if, like the breakdown, like the, the
release of the chemicals fromlike human bodies as they
decompose, I wonder if thosereleased into the soil, and
therefore technically the air,would have anything to do with
that.
I don't know, that's a fuckinglong shot.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
I'm saying Tesla is putting dead body juice sensors
in there.

Speaker 5 (28:55):
No, I'm wondering if the cameras can pick up
something that we can't see withour eyes, and it has something
to do with the decomposition of,like organic matter.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
It can see ghosts?
I don't think so, but I'm not.
I'm not the long shot, I'm justspitballing here, okay.
I've never heard of that before, but yeah, I also know nothing
on this subject.

Speaker 5 (29:17):
It's from Venus.

Speaker 3 (29:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (29:18):
Get Elon on the phone Elon Elon.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
Why are you in the cemetery?
Are you done destroying ourdemocracy, Elon?

Speaker 5 (29:26):
Oh yeah, no, he's from the American Party now.
Oh, that's right, you're right,but we're not.

Speaker 3 (29:30):
Don't look into the politics, he just gave $250
million to Trump and was like Ilove this guy, only to turn
around and be like I can'tbelieve what he's doing.
Oh my God.

Speaker 5 (29:49):
Yes, because you have another, I do have another.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Sorry, I was still looking at the Tesla video.
I think it might be picking upthe flowers, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
Anyway, it's not that important.
Matt's like.
I take it on that.
I love that we never thediscussion.

Speaker 5 (30:02):
We had a discussion about it, but no clear.
Yeah, no clear at all.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
I was even like I'm an expert on this.
I have something I have no idea.
I don't have a fucking clue.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
I do like the idea that you just went down a rabbit
hole as the leading expert hereat the loony it could be X Y Z
problem, as the leading expertwho has, and you went the
leading expert who has, and youwent.
I don't know you went down forlike five minutes like well, you
gotta fuck up pretty bad andthis is how they're tested, this
is how they're trained.
And then seven minutes lateryou're like could be the flower,
yeah because, like, it'spopping up over where the

(30:38):
flowers are like.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
Doug was saying, maybe they just fucked it up
real bad.
I mean, that's a distinctpossibility.
It is Tesla, after all.

Speaker 4 (30:46):
Yeah, that's fair.

Speaker 5 (30:48):
Their cyber trucks suck balls.
They're so terrible.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Do we want to play real or fake with some stories
or do we just want to do anotherweird subreddit?
Dealer's choice.
Let's do a real or fakey.

Speaker 4 (31:01):
Let's do a real fake, real big faking.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
So I found a thread that's just called what is your
most disturbing, scary stories.
It's real old, from 11 yearsago, and I just picked out a few
stories that I liked, so I'llread the first one Woke up.
Clock says 3.34 am.
I'm 17 and I'm in my bedroom.
It's pitch black, but I hearsome rattling downstairs.

(31:26):
Terrified, I quietly tiptoe tomy parents' room.
Weird, it's empty.
Where are my parents at 3.34 am?
Go upstairs to my brother's room.
He's usually awake all night,but while the light is on, no
one is in the room.
So I guess, whatever thosenoises are downstairs, it must
be them.
Why no one is in the room?
So I guess whatever thosenoises are downstairs, it must
be them.
Why are they awake?

(31:47):
Maybe someone died?
I go downstairs.
In the middle of my living roomis what looks like two men
stealing our TV.
No one else is in sight.
I run upstairs as quietly aspossible, shut and lock my door.
Suddenly there's a banging onthe door.
I wake up.
It was a dream and the reliefwashes over me.
I look over at the clock Weirdcoincidence, it's 3.34 am.

(32:07):
I'm shaking but decide to godownstairs to prove to myself
that everyone and everything isfine.
I go downstairs.
The two men are in my kitchenscreaming at my parents and
brother.
I run upstairs to my bedroomand lock the door.
Ten seconds later I hearbanging.
I wake up.
It's 3.34 am.
This time I had actually wokenup and I didn't manage to fall

(32:31):
back asleep for another 36 hours.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
Hmm, you know I'm gonna say real, I've had that
happen where I wake up from adream.
I also have had this.
Yeah, I've had it happen whereI wake up from a dream in a
dream.
That's happened once or twicebefore, but at the same time
Like dream wake up and then youwake up again.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
Then you grab a brush and put on a little makeup.

Speaker 5 (32:52):
Yeah, hide the scars to fade away the cheek.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
But the connecting thing here is that it's 3.34am
every time.
So it's 3.34am in the firstdream, then it's 334 in the
second dream I've had recurringdreams, that's plausible that's
plausible.

Speaker 5 (33:04):
Yeah, then he wakes up for real and it's 334 am well
, it's like the what's like ifyou're having a dream and it
sets up this whole thing in yourhead to where like you're
planting a bunch of likedynamite in a mine and like
you're about to like blow it upand you're like you're wearing a
cowboy hat and like it's.
It's like fucking wild Westtimes and as soon as you push

(33:25):
the plunger down, lightningoutside for real Wakes you up.
How did your brain know thatthe lightning was about to
happen?
What this is the same type ofthing you don't know, it's 334 I
.
I get what you're saying, jasonI.

Speaker 4 (33:41):
I've had that happen where I've woken up to some sort
of noise in my dream.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
I hear what you say, jason I'm listening, doug, I
promise it's those frozen margsbro I, I I

Speaker 4 (33:52):
hear, I hear, I hear what you're saying, bro.
Um, no, I I get what you'resaying, though.
Like no, I get what you'resaying, though Like I've woken
up from a dream where, like anoise has woken me up, but it's
for sure a noise I heard, likeIRL.

Speaker 3 (34:06):
Yeah, I don't think it's too out of the realm of
possibility, depending howshitty your sleep schedule is or
how like to a T you are Like.
For example, I like I set myalarm for like like eight 15
every morning, but I regularlywake up at about seven o'clock
every single morning.
I, I and my alarm doesn't wakeme up.
Nothing wakes me up.
I'm just awake because my bodywants to wake me up at that time

(34:28):
.
So if you're, if you go to bedwith the idea of like great,
can't wait to be up at fuckingseven o'clock in the morning, if
that happens to you regularly,that could seep into your dreams
where it's like okay,something's happening at 7
o'clock.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
You know, yeah, this guy just wakes up at 3.34
regularly.
Might be a thing, Maybe.
Either.
P.
So something that's happened tome is my new house is right
next to some railroad tracks andusually it doesn't bother me,
but usually a train comesthrough at like 3-ish in the
morning and now, because itusually wakes me up it doesn't
always, but now, since itusually wakes me up if I'm

(35:02):
sleeping somewhere else, even ifI'm not sleeping in my house, I
wake up at 3 o'clock, yep,because you know.

Speaker 5 (35:09):
Yeah, it's because you've reset your fucking
circadian rhythm.

Speaker 3 (35:12):
Yeah, your Gregorian calendar.

Speaker 5 (35:15):
You know your Gregory calendar, your Gregory calendar
?

Speaker 3 (35:20):
I don't know.
I like to think it's realBecause there's 8 billion people
in the world.
Odds are that shit has happenedat least one time to one person
.
You know what I mean.
It's not out of the realm ofpossibility.
It's not like he woke up at3.34 in real life to people
robbingbing him.
You know what I mean and thatactually happened.

(35:40):
He just woke up and it was acoincidental time.
I feel like that's bound tohappen eventually.
Yeah, the amount of times we Imean you're asleep for eight
hours a night, you know, onaverage you get you dream
throughout the night and you getdifferent dreams all the time.
Your entire life you'redreaming.

Speaker 5 (35:56):
Odds are it's going to happen once, you know, once
in your entire life to somebodyyeah, and on top of to add to
that, I've um, I read a lotabout like the brain, the mind
and like how it works the holyspirit.
Yeah, you know the three, thetrifecta um the triforce um but
and one thing that I've beenreading is a lot of neurologists

(36:17):
and uh researchers have beenfinding that your brain actually
operates in more dimensionsthan like we exist in.
Stop.

Speaker 3 (36:25):
Don't we were.
This is from that spiritualshit, don't you?
But that's nice dimension inyour brain, don't you dare.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
We can't go down this rabbit hole or this episode
will never end.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
Okay, but tell me, and I'm curious.

Speaker 5 (36:38):
No, thank you.
No, tell me, you can't do thisto me.
Yes, I can.
You can't do this.
Get out of my house, go fuckmyself, go fuck yourself.

Speaker 3 (36:46):
Wait, what do?

Speaker 5 (36:46):
you mean by dimension , though that's the thing.
There's no actual definition toit.
However, there are things thathappen in our brains that we
can't explain, like how manypeople have literally described
um in near-death situations, inlike an operating suite.
They'll describe things on topof cabinets of the or like, oh,

(37:08):
like they're when the fuck, wereyou up there yeah?
you weren't up there.
So how would you know?
A top-down view?
And it's simply because you hadan out-of-body experience
doctor's Spornstache up there.
Do I believe?
Do I believe shit like that?
No, because there's no evidencearound it.
However, there's a lot ofcoincidence when it comes to the
stories that are told Aboutthat kind of stuff.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
There's a lot of weird stories like that.
I've been listening to apodcast lately Called we're
Fucking Derailing oh yeah,wildly.
A lot of people probably listento, called Radio Rental.
It's Dwight from the Office,what's his fucking name.
He hosts this podcast whenother people come on and tell
their stories, but a lot of themare like that and they're
eerily similar Weird.

Speaker 5 (37:50):
Anyway, it's the coincidence of it all.
It reminds me of the Mandelaeffect.
How there's this mass fuckingdelusion about stuff.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
Or how, when everyone like dies and they come back, I
saw a white light in all myloved ones.

Speaker 5 (38:02):
Yeah, well, I mean, my theory on that is, you see
that because your brain hasnever experienced death before,
so it literally just rewindsthrough all of its experiences
rapidly to try to find somethingsimilar.
Is that what DMT is?

Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, yeah, anyway.
God molecule we need to move onRight, we do.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
I'm saying real, what are you boys saying?

Speaker 2 (38:24):
I'll say real, that's fun.

Speaker 5 (38:25):
I'll say real Hot, damn Plausible.
Fuck you Doug.
Jason do you have any otherones?
That was it, my serial killer,one was it.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
My lone depressing one.
It's good though, I like thatone it was just a fucking
coincidence.
Like you said, it was on threedifferent areas too the Holy
Triangle, the Triforce, theFather, the Van, the Carjack,
the Carjack.

Speaker 6 (38:50):
At the PlayStation.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
Doug, do you have any other ones?
Yeah, where are we at on time.

Speaker 4 (38:57):
Doug, do you have any other ones?
Yeah, where are we at on time?

Speaker 3 (39:03):
I don't have like for this specific but total
recording in two hours oh, okay,we got that, because I have one
that's going to be.

Speaker 4 (39:11):
I have one that I think we'll probably talk a lot
about, but I'm going to justthrow another silly one in here.
So this was another one I foundon that that throw away time,
what's a secret that couldliterally ruin your life?
So this was another one from 13years ago, as most of these are
, I guess.
So it says the person has nowdeleted their account, but it

(39:34):
says my cousin died when we wereboth 17.
There was a reception at hishouse and just after the funeral
I went into his room and Istole all the money that was in
there and I took some othervaluables that his parents
wouldn't realize were gone.
No one knows that I did thatand they just assumed he didn't
have any money in his room, onlysome loose change.
I don't regret it, but I willnever admit I did this.

(39:56):
Also my cum box.

Speaker 5 (40:02):
Also my cum box and so of course.
Is there a?

Speaker 4 (40:06):
definition for that In true fashion, everyone and
when I say everyone, I mean likehundreds of people are like.
You have to elaborate on thecum box, please, like you can't
just say and my, my cum box, andnot tell us more about it.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
What does that mean?

Speaker 4 (40:24):
and my so they said well, it is exactly what it
sounds like.
It's a shoe box, or at leastonce was, and whenever I
masturbate I come into it.
I've had it for two or threeyears now and I think that it's.
I think so it has a fair amountof cum.
It smells atrocious and I triedto burn it once.

(40:44):
When I lit it on fire, it wastoo damp due to the cum that it
simply settled and didn't manageto light up.
Turns out, burning cum alsosmells awful, so I had to spray
it with deodorant body sprayjust to get the old smell of
burnt cum away, oh God.

Speaker 2 (40:59):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 5 (41:00):
Burnt cum and axe I cannot think of a worse candle.

Speaker 4 (41:08):
There's two updates to this comment.
All right, it says, becausepeople were asking.
And then there's a post to apicture and that picture doesn't
work anymore a Yankee candlethere, it is hell.
A lot of people are asking mewhy.
Well, I'm apparently a ratherdisturbed individual, but it

(41:29):
just kind of happened.
I bought new shoes and neededsomeplace to come, so I used it
just escalated from there and Ikept using it, each time telling
myself I would throw it out.
So never have that problem, sohe never, never threw it away.
After two or three years theystill have it.

(41:50):
Um, and then they said editthree fuck this really exploded.
20 plus thousand views of mycum box.
I did not expect this.
And then edit four I often getPM'd about updates or current
statuses of the box, andgenerally generally a few a week
, so I might as well update thispost, if anyone even gets
linked here anymore currentstatus I have.

(42:11):
I've created life.
Mold has begun to grow in thebox and has taken over a fair
amount.
The smell is a bit worse,mainly due to a damper apartment
I live in, so it does not dryas fast, hence the reason why
the mold has begun.
They then link a picture thatyou can actually click on.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
No, we're going there .
We're going there.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
I will never be rid of my need for it.
I hate and love this box, justas I hate and love myself.
And then the comments justexplode.
There is just a lot.
There's just a lot of pictures.
Oh, they opened it okay.
Yeah, um I'm looking at it too,and it's uh there's a lot

(42:54):
happens here and the thecomments are great, but the
story itself is just why I couldnot yellow fill.

Speaker 5 (43:02):
Why are you asking questions?

Speaker 2 (43:04):
I think that's where you try to burn it, and that's
the burnt paper, right oh yeah,he's.

Speaker 4 (43:09):
At one point it says there's like, there's like
drenched paper stuck to it.

Speaker 5 (43:14):
So turns out I might throw up.
Yeah, that's pretty gross.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
When you, when you actually told, told us that this
is what you were reading, I hadthought I had seen this one
before, but I think I may havebeen confusing this one with
come drawer, which is another.

Speaker 4 (43:28):
Oh, yes Are you talking about the piss drawer?

Speaker 2 (43:31):
No, I think that maybe I'm conflating all this in
my head.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
I I'm conflating all this in my head.
I know the piss drawer.
I'm pretty sure it's a postabout a guy whose mom found his
piss drawer.
Yeah, he pees in his drawer atnight.

Speaker 5 (43:46):
That's right, he didn't want to get up to go to
the bathroom.
He just fucking opens hisbottom drawer and pisses in it.
My buddy.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
I found it.
I found cum drawer.
It's not as popular as cum box,so cum drawer it's not as
popular as cum box, so cumdrawer is what I'm thinking of.
It's a post on RWTF 13 yearsago by a user named Nero
N-E-R-O-X-E-L-A.
It just says found this in myroommate's drawer and it's a

(44:15):
picture of I'll put it in theDiscord.
I'm not going to put thepicture in a picture of.
I'll put it in the discord.
I'm not going to put thepicture in the discord, but I'll
put a link in the discord sorryeverybody um remember to mail
your eyes to youtube well, itshows the picture anyway, fuck
it why?
is it black?
It's definitely.

(44:35):
His roommate's been coming inthe drawer, but the top comment
is come drawer, light it on fire.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
That's not even like an enclosed drawer.
That's just like he opens thatthing and just fires directly
into it while he's sitting athis desk.

Speaker 5 (44:49):
You might just leave it open.
What the hell is that?

Speaker 2 (44:52):
It looks like he's just been sitting at his desk,
just spooting right into it Justgo to the toilet.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
It almost looks bloody.

Speaker 5 (45:01):
He has to leave his room for that.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
There's blood there, or just come on yourself and
then do the waddle of shame tothe bathroom and just wipe it
all off Like a real man.
Just pull your boxes up, fuckit, man.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
Like a real man.
Like a real man.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
Air dry, dry, you know.
That's all I have to say aboutthe cum box.
I don't really know if a cumzone a cum box.
I don't know if there's muchmore to say here.

Speaker 5 (45:37):
We haven't been around each other in a hot
minute because this is fuckingoff the rails.
Doug, I don't know if there'smuch more to say.
We have been around each otherin a hot minute because this is
fucking off the rail.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
Doug, I don't want to say you should have kept that
one for last, but I saw you hadanother one that said oh don't,
please don't think that that waslike the worst thing our eyes
will see today, because it mightget worse.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
I don't know, that's the worst one I had, for sure,
okay.

Speaker 5 (45:57):
I have no more.
I just know who you are as anindividual.

Speaker 4 (46:00):
Doug, I don't want to I don't know, how do you top
cum box?
Three-year-old cum box, I don'tknow.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
Well, here's the thing you can't, and I'm up next
.
If there were a person to dothat, it'd be you, doug.

Speaker 4 (46:19):
Yeah, or something you have to box your cum.
Yeah, right here, just watch,fucking whatever that movie is
with fucking Willem Dafoe.
Oh, antichrist, yeah, yeah,watch.

Speaker 5 (46:24):
Antichrist.

Speaker 4 (46:25):
Watch him ejaculate cum or blood there you go, oh
God.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
So my next one comes from rslashmystery, from a user.
This was 11 days ago, a usernamed Malahoffalter
Malahoffalter, and they said in2005, residents of Cape
Elizabeth, maine, were disturbedby a man who quietly entered
homes just to watch people sleep.
He never stole anything orcaused harm, but his strange

(46:50):
behavior left people scared.
The intruder was never caughtand his identity remains a
mystery.
There is a link to a an articleon them that I'm going to read
a little bit of here, so thearticle is from the Lord Reports
.
He looks like a Pez dispenser.
Yeah, they got an artistrendition.
He looks like he does.

(47:13):
Kind of look like he does.

Speaker 5 (47:17):
He's got the yeah, like you, just grab it and yank
his head backwards and a bunchof sugar shit will come out of
his neck.
Fucking, suck it up.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
My guy's bricked up in the weird way.

Speaker 5 (47:30):
This is the cum box guy.
This is the limited edition cumbox Pestis.

Speaker 3 (47:36):
Yeah.
So in 2005, something strangehappened in the peaceful town of
Cape Elizabeth, Maine.
Families who have always feltsafe in their homes suddenly
found themselves waking intofear.
A man who came to be known asthe Cape Intruder was breaking
into homes not to steal or harm,but simply to watch people
sleep.
His silent visits left thecommunity shaken.
To this day, his identityremains a mystery.
The first reports came inAugust 2005.

(47:59):
Residents told police that theyhad woken up to find a man
standing in their bedrooms.
He didn't say a word, he didn'ttake anything and once noticed
he fled without a trace.
Why is the table so wet?

Speaker 5 (48:13):
This is the cum table .

Speaker 3 (48:14):
This is the cum table .
The cape intruder chose homeswhere the doors or windows were
left unlocked.
He never broke anything to getinside.
The detail made some residentsquestion their own habits.
Pretty scary, said one victim,describing the chilling moment
they realized a stranger hadbeen watching them sleep.
What made the situation evenmore confusing was that nothing
was ever stolen.
The man never touched anyone ormade threats.

(48:35):
His actions were limited tostanding in bedrooms, watching,
then disappearing.
This behavior deeply disturbedthe town.
According to the Mirror, whichis another news site, the
intrusions lasted until February2006, so it went for a good
long while.
Each visit followed a similarpattern no forced entry, no
damage, just silent, eeriepresence in the night.

(48:57):
No forced entry, no damage,just silent, eerie presence in
the night.
That mystery, what he wantedand why he did it was what
unsettled people the most.
It goes on for a little bitmore, but basically they call
him the Halifax Sleep Watcher.
This was in Halifax.

Speaker 5 (49:16):
Yeah, but like One of-workers is from Halifax, I
think she lived there aroundthat time I wonder if she knows
about this.
It's just a fucking creepy dude.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
That straight up he just.
I feel like that's worse thanstealing stuff from someone's
house just going in there tojust voyeur.

Speaker 5 (49:33):
It's like what the fuck do a little pez stare yeah
he's just going there to loiterlike.

Speaker 3 (49:36):
It's like what the fuck Do a little Pez stare, he's
just going there to loiterRight.
I don't like that.
That's worse than if you cameand stole my TV.
I would rather that, becausethen I'd be like, oh, they had a
motive.
I don't know this fucker'smotive.

Speaker 5 (49:51):
I'd rather catch you beating off in my room, because
at least I know there's afucking reason you're there.
How hard was he?
He was a little softer thannormal giving the.

Speaker 4 (50:05):
Have you seen this man?

Speaker 5 (50:07):
yes, are you having strange dreams?
Is it the 2.0?
Mike is broken, the glasses areabout to come off, for sure is
it just me saying it and movingon very nonchalantly?

Speaker 4 (50:23):
oh yeah, 100%.

Speaker 5 (50:26):
He's like I don't know how you just said that and
didn't fucking talk about it.
Holy shit, we might have totake a break just to let Mike.
Holy shit, we might have totake a break just to let Mike
finish laughing.

Speaker 3 (50:46):
Wait.
Like you Are you okay, oh myGod, it's like you said it, like
you were being interviewed fromthe news.
He was a little softer thannormal.

Speaker 5 (51:04):
Usually this time of day he's real fucking hard.
But today he is Oof.
Like you were there.

Speaker 3 (51:14):
He was a little softer than normal.
We got a.

Speaker 5 (51:16):
Doug with an eyewitness report.
It's softer than normal, not ashard as it usually is.
Oh my god, holy fuck, jesusFuck.

Speaker 3 (51:32):
That's all I got for that one.
That was the whole thing.
That was the whole thing.
Just a pervert that goes intopeople's houses and watches them
sleep.
Just a quick.
B&e yeah, just a quickie alittle softer.
Jesus Christ Matt, what do yougot for us?

Speaker 2 (51:52):
Christ almighty.
I got more subreddits.
I got more stories.

Speaker 3 (51:58):
I can keep going, bro .
I can keep going all fucking Igot more subreddits, I got more
stories.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
I can keep going, bro .
I can keep going all fuckingday.

Speaker 3 (52:06):
All right, it's every day, bro, with this Disney
channel flow.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Disney channel flow All right, so which one do I
want to pick?
All right, I want to mention asubreddit real quick, but we
can't show it, so I'm not goingto spend a lot of time on it and
we may have brought it upbefore Our Cospenis, top two
Cospenis, c-o-s-p-e-n-i-sCospenis, and it is just a

(52:33):
subreddit of men postingpictures of their penises
dressed in the outfits it's likecosplay but penis.

Speaker 5 (52:40):
But can I bandwagon on that with another one just in
same vein sure r slash dicklips.
It's just people givingblowjobs, but the penis is
completely photoshopped outexcept for the tip of it to make
it look like they have massivelips.

Speaker 4 (52:55):
I think we've talked about this before, that that is
a very funny.
I think we've talked about thisbefore.
That is very funny.

Speaker 5 (52:59):
I think I have.
But yes, look it up, it's funny.
Anyway, sorry, go ahead, Matt.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
No, you're fine One I will show is called Are Far
People Hate.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
Real quick.
Do you think Space Dicks isstill?

Speaker 5 (53:13):
around.
I hope Space Clop is not.

Speaker 4 (53:17):
I don't believe Space Clop is.
I don't believe Space Clop isavailable anymore.

Speaker 2 (53:23):
This community is banned.
This subreddit was banned dueto being unmonitored Banned
three years ago.

Speaker 5 (53:28):
Damn it, that's.
It was three years ago, that'sit.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
There's been some more questionable stuff that's
hung around for longer.

Speaker 4 (53:34):
That's fair.
Oh, we're not wrong, it'sfarpeoplehate farpeoplehate.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
Yes, f-a-r people hate.
So this is a parody of asubreddit that no longer exists
called fatpeoplehate, which wasa subreddit where people would
post pictures and stories aboutfat people and then talk about
how much they hate fat peoplefor being lazy or whatever.
There's a new subreddit relatedto that called, I think, fat
people stories.

(54:01):
Um, but anyway, far people hateis a joke, is like a parody of
fat people hate and it's justpictures of people at a distance
.
Like it's, it's like, uh, solike here's a.
Here's a good example.
This is a really distantpicture of a person on a cliff.
It like, so like here's a goodexample.
This is a really distantpicture of a person on a cliff.

(54:21):
Like is this the?

Speaker 5 (54:23):
Grand Canyon?
I don't fucking know.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
Yeah, but they're real far away and then, yeah,
they'll include something Likethis.
One is just titled Disgusting,that's it, that's it.
I love these subreddits here'sone, a picture of Faramir and it
says Faramir, I'd prefer.
Closamir, yeah, you get theidea.

(54:50):
It's just people at a distanceand then just like derogatory
things about them yeah, justfuck you for being far away,
fuck you, they ruin everything.

Speaker 3 (54:57):
Derogatory things about them.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
Yeah, just fuck you for being far away, fuck you,
they ruin everything.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
That's pretty great, I love that.

Speaker 5 (55:03):
That's fucking great.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
I don't think any suburb will ever top the nerve
of people.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
The second of all time is a picture from the moon
looking back at.
Earth and it just says thenerve of people.

Speaker 3 (55:21):
For me, unfortunately .
I don't think anything willever top Doug's.
Was it caveman tech support?

Speaker 5 (55:27):
Oh, that was pretty bad, that was so good.
Found spider in cave.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
What do Mud butt?
Mud butt water.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
Mud buttt water Engineer, engineer, anyway.

Speaker 5 (55:47):
That was funny.
Another one that just popped inmy head that I follow Is real
bees Fake top hats.
It's just pictures Of bees realbees With not real top hats.
It's just pictures of bees realbees real bees with not real
top hats on.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
I follow some strange ones too.
I don't remember any off thetop, but I feet, yeah.
I look back and I'm like, yeah,I definitely this is from me
from 2012 or some shit mapswithout.
Tanzania that's one of myfavorites um Doug, what do you
got well?

Speaker 4 (56:20):
I was thinking about it and I think I think this one
would be better for like a bonusor something.
I don't know how long we'vebeen on it, but this one, this
one is.
I was kind of reading throughit again and I was like I don't
know how much I want to talkabout this one or not.
It's it's.
It's fine, uh, but I guess it's.
It's a.
It's talking about like whathappens if you win the lottery.

(56:41):
Like a ton of money, um, so Ithink it'd be better discussion
for like a bonus episode.

Speaker 5 (56:47):
That's what I've decided well, if that was not a
fucking advertisement for agoddamn patreon, I don't know
what it is, yeah right right, sodo you have no other ones?

Speaker 3 (56:56):
then?

Speaker 4 (56:58):
Yeah, that'd be it.
That's it.
I'll see you later.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
Okay, Bye Doug.
I have two more then that wecan cover.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
I got more stories.

Speaker 3 (57:08):
Hell yeah, I'll do this one first, because it's a
quickie, I'll just knock bothmine out.

Speaker 5 (57:12):
Are we just marathoning and just keep
pulling shit out of the hat?
I'm okay with that.
I've had all these ready to go.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
If you want to find them, fuck it.
This one is from rslashufos,from user inadreamstay it is
called.
An orb was found in Columbia.
This was supposedly the sameorb that was posted here a week
or two ago.
It landed on the ground.
Orb that was posted here a weekor two ago and landed on the
ground and someone was able topick it up.

(57:40):
The orb stays cold, but waterevaporates off it when poured on
it.
It stays cold when heated to400 degrees Celsius.
Now there is some subtext here.
It says and this orb, by theway, I don't know if you have it
on screen or not, matt, butthis orb it the way.
I don't know if you have it onscreen or not, matt, but this
orb is just an orb.
It's got some weird imagery onthe top.

(58:02):
It's kind of like a star.
It looks like.
It kind of looks like this isgoing to be very niche, but from
Avatar, legend of Korra, whenthey had the two big spirits
that fight each other.
They're like the good one andthe bad one.

Speaker 5 (58:13):
Oh yeah yeah, yeah, it kind of looks like that you
know, yeah, who are ponderingthe orb.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
Who are pondering the orb.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
They said there's a link to a YouTube channel, but
we'll get to that in a second.
So an orb was found in Colombia.
It was the same orb.
From those videos of the flyingorb In Colombia from a week or
two ago, they finally have onein civilian hands.
In the video a guy says he doesnot want it to fall into the
wrong hands because of theatrocities that it could commit
if it were able to be reverseengineered.

(58:44):
So he sent it to Jamie Maussan,the investigative journalist.
And if you click on the YouTubelink, this takes you to a
Spanish site.
So I'm going.
This takes you to a.
It's a Spanish site, so I'mgoing off context clues here.
But it's technology, not human.
Yeah, mouse on television,technologia, no humana.

(59:08):
But if you look at more of it,this screams Like Spanish Coast
to coast.

Speaker 5 (59:17):
Wow, this is literally coast to coast with
fucking.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
Yeah, AM coast to coast with metal water, but it's
pretty space coast, coast tocoast, it's got a budget Like
it's got 1.14 millionsubscribers and the budget for
this looks pretty good.

Speaker 5 (59:31):
All of the conspiracies apparently exist in
the US, according to that intro.

Speaker 3 (59:35):
Yeah, but here's a quick video of the orb they were
talking about that was flyingaround last week.
But they go on further.
This is our guy.
By the way, he looks like aHispanic Colonel.

Speaker 5 (59:45):
Sanders.

Speaker 3 (59:45):
That's amazing.
I don't think this is.
I don't think this is.
I don't think this is real,unfortunately, for two reasons.
One, he's double lapel mic'd up.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
My guy's double caked .
He's standing on a spacestation.
To begin with, he's standing inspace.

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
This is some like Mexican ancient aliens shit
right here.
He's even got the fucking hands.
And the reason I don't thinkthis is real Is because A the
videos and the imagery they haveof this orb.
First and foremost, they'relike oh yeah, people try blow
torching it.
It's very obviously just somelike metal ball that someone
made.
And then they're like oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:00:29):
Or a balloon with fucking metallic finish.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
And then they're like oh yeah, it's like a food
container.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Yeah, right.
Like it would seal together inthe middle.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
Yeah, and they're like the comment before, where
it's like, oh, even putting itunder 400 degrees Celsius, it
stays cool.
Okay, it's just an image of aguy taking a blowtorch to it.
It's like aluminum.
It's like aluminum, realquickly.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
It 100% looks like aluminum yeah.
It looks like a cookie tinthat's rounded.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
Yeah, yeah.
And then they have.
My favorite part is they havevideo footage of these, quote
unquote like scientists in theselike hazmat ass looking suits,
like working on this thing andit's the most like high def
camera quality shit.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
It looks like B footage like B roll footage.
Colonel Sanders is watching itprojected on the wall.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
And they have like graphics that go on it.
This is like recording inprogress and things also.

Speaker 5 (01:01:19):
If this were, an actual test on something that
they were trying to like.
They didn't know what the fuckit was.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
They would not be having any holes in their suits
yeah, not only that, but prettysure that the, the tools are
using to investigate, it is asoldering iron.

Speaker 5 (01:01:37):
It's a soldering iron on top of it looks like a
fucking AM radio unit.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
That's probably just the power supply for the welder.
But if you look at, this bit issupposed to show the
temperature.
I'm pretty sure of the solderand it doesn't do anything.
It just stays.
It doesn't really move too muchand they're just.
He's just touching away at itand then there he is just
looking at it on like aprojection and he this is the

(01:02:03):
most insane shit I've ever seen.
He's just rubbing it.

Speaker 5 (01:02:12):
Now it's my turn to rub it.
This is no.

Speaker 3 (01:02:14):
I'm powdering the orb , let me poke it.
What happens?
If I and even in the commentspeople are like I don't, I'm
calling bullshit, uh, they'renot even saying like these
videos look obviously fake.
One person in the comments islike the water isn't evaporating
, it's just running off, plentyof droplets hanging on.
The mere mention of jamiemaussan says bullshit to me

(01:02:35):
immediately.
Yep, yep, yep.
And then, uh, yeah, there'sjust comments Like that galore,
where it's like people are likeyeah, I don't know about this
here, buddy um.

Speaker 5 (01:02:48):
It's like that, fucking the Peru Aliens, yeah,
which is Just the same guythat's.
That's why I think that rang abell for me that name Jamie
Maussan.
That might have been the sameguy.

Speaker 3 (01:02:58):
I don't know, I'm not , I don't care enough to check
tape, but that might have beenthe same dude.
But yeah, it's not.
Even the people in here believethat this is real.
People are like, yeah, thislooks fake as fuck.

Speaker 5 (01:03:08):
Right.
Why the fuck would that be real?

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
Also.
Why Also it says that they letcivilians handle it?
If it's some giant orb with allthis power, why are you just
letting people touch it Whoeverwants to?
Just come on over.

Speaker 5 (01:03:21):
Ponder my orb.
Do whatever the fuck you want.

Speaker 3 (01:03:25):
Governments generally aren't like that, but I found
this super fascinating.
Not much for the post itself,more or less for the weird
YouTube video he touches it Atthe end, he has it.
Oh, and a Culver'sadvertisement.
So get yourself some, some,some butter burgers.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
Yeah, this is doesn't even look like he knows what's
going on.

Speaker 5 (01:03:47):
No, he has no fucking idea.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
I like how they're like.
Oh yeah, this must be a UFO.

Speaker 5 (01:03:51):
It's got the holes where you put like the screws in
on the side, you know the sideyou know, and if like, yeah, I
don't, if you just were, I'mconvinced that if we actually
found something that was alien,it in this like a drone, or like
a surveillance probe, or someshit like that I don't think we
would understand an iota of it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
He's just banging on it, but they're like describing
it there's, there's.

Speaker 5 (01:04:15):
We got vent holes here.
How do you what?

Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
are you talking about ?
I like the concept more thanwhat this became.
If there was just like ohlegend has of an orb that stays
cold and you can burn it and itstays cool to the touch, that's
kind of fun.
If there's just like one photoof it out in the world and it's
like, oh, is this real or not?
Cool.
But then you have this Wackshow job, the wack show job uh,
the whack show job the whackshow job.

(01:04:40):
This whack job show uh have thisthing whack off a guy yeah,
it's just like that kind oftakes the realism out of it.
I, I could tell this is fakenow because of that.
Well, that's part of it.
With those production alone,yeah, screams.
That's that's what I'm saying,especially with the scientists
poking around on it Anytime.

Speaker 5 (01:04:58):
If you have to fluff anything up, such as that where
you have to add effects anddramatizations to it.
If you are presentinginformation that is fucking
groundbreaking, you should nothave to fluff it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
Like this person says here.
Thank you for great integrityto the person who recorded this
fear and found it the mostimportant to release it to
public.
Many countries would paymillions of dollars for it.
Thank you, jamie Moussan, forgreat integrity to continue your
work for public knowledge.
Many would have never beeninvolved in this information,
would never see the daylight.

Speaker 5 (01:05:31):
Yeah, hi, jamie, that's Jamie.
Right, that's 100% Jamie.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
Moussan writing no, no, it's WysyMan1.

Speaker 3 (01:05:39):
Actually it's funny that you say that, because
here's that same comment.
Someone was like the waterisn't evaporating, it's just
running off.
Probably have droplets hangingon there.
The mention of Jamie Moussansays bullshit to me immediately.
Then OP comments and they'relike there's visible stream of
steam coming off it when theypour the water on it steam
coming off it when they pour thewater on it.
Jamie was a reporter for 60Minutes, mexico in 1990.
Jamie was honored with theGlobal 500 Award by the United

(01:06:02):
Nations Environment Program forhis environmental reporting.
He's an investigativejournalist.
Just because the Wrightbrothers failed to fly a plane
multiple times does notdiscredit their success in
finally flying a plane.
Similarly, he may have foundleads that led nowhere before,
but this is something it doesnot discredit success.
And the next comment is hi,jamie yeah, that's.

Speaker 5 (01:06:25):
It's real easy to and that's the OP yep, so like.

Speaker 3 (01:06:29):
I have, I have one last.

Speaker 5 (01:06:33):
I have to pee, so bad .
Go for it, man.
Go for it, oh you motherfuckers, get you motherfuckers.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
Oh, get the piss drawer.

Speaker 3 (01:06:40):
Oh yeah, piss drawer Doug.

Speaker 5 (01:06:42):
This is the perfect time.
Just fucking dedicate a drawer.
Alright, I will Keep talking.

Speaker 4 (01:06:47):
I'm gonna go find a drawer in Mike's room and I'll
do the same.
There you go.
Well, I guess I'm gonna go findmy piss box, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:00):
I guess go whiz, everyone, we'll fucking wait, no
, you can just go.
No, okay, bye.
Okay, I'll go.
Okay, bye, matt improv hour.
How are you?
Did you watch your Denny's?
Denny's videos.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
I watched the only Denny's Denny's video that was
found.
We're still missing a Denny'sDenny's video.
That was found.
We're still missing a Denny'sDenny's video oh word.
Yeah, I played it on stream, soeverybody who was watching the
twitch got to see Denny'sDenny's in all it's glory aw man
, I missed it.
I mean, fuck it, we're notdoing anything right now.
You just want to watch thewhole two and a half minutes
again.
Let's watch Denny's Denny'sbaby.
We're doing Denny's Denny'sround two for anybody who

(01:07:38):
fucking missed it Bro.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
Also, I like the idea of making this hat a giveaway
item.
What do you think?

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
Sure, I really don't care.
Hell yeah brother.
Hell yeah brother.
I really really don't care.

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
We'll sign it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:51):
Alright, you got the stream up.
We're fucking Denny's Den.
Alright, it's Denny's Denny'stime again.
Boys and girls.

Speaker 6 (01:08:08):
Let's go.
Hi, I'm Denny Hamlin andwelcome to Denny's Denny's
Austin.
Come on, man, get it together.
Interns.
I'm Denny Hamlin.
I drive in the Fast Car SpringCup circuit.
Been doing it for 10 years andgreat successful career.

(01:08:31):
We've won 24 races.
We have 19 pole positions.
I'm also wicked good at darts.
Guys, I think I can make itfrom here.
I still got it.
Denny's is just an Americantradition.
I was born next to a Denny's.
There was a Denny's next to theracetrack.
When I was growing up Familybreakfast, junior prom I

(01:08:53):
couldn't get Denny's out of myhead.
I was doodling Denny's.
I was building model Denny'srestaurants.
I hatched a plan to bring aDenny's everywhere.
I go with it.
I call it Denny's, denny's Den.
Denny's everywhere I go with it.
I call it Denny's, denny's,denny Hamlin, denny's Restaurant
, denny's Denny's, denny'sDenny's.

(01:09:13):
I took the initial designs tomy team.
We did as much R&D as possibleTrack tested, track approved.
We even brought in a couplespecialists to help with this.
We've been watching Denny'sshit now Uh-huh.
Welcome back in a couplespecialists to help with this
kind of thing.
We've been watching Denny'sshit.
Now.
The bacon wheels started waytoo powerful, turns out.
Pancakes are a lot more airythan everything.

(01:09:34):
The menu is probably myfavorite part of this project
the grand slamming the moon'sover my handlers.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
We had some tough decisions to make, but you learn
from your failures.

Speaker 3 (01:09:48):
You will fly.
That's not right.

Speaker 6 (01:09:50):
Everything had to be perfect for this war.
The serfs had to flow atexactly 11 PSI.
That milkshake suit.
It had to be 33 degrees.

Speaker 2 (01:09:59):
No cola, no fun, the milkshake suit bro.

Speaker 6 (01:10:01):
But all that hard work was definitely worth it,
because today we round turn four.
Let's do the flag.
It's the greatest day of mylife.
It's great to see my crewcelebrate like that.
They really deserve it.

(01:10:22):
Did get a little emotionalthough.
Denny's.
Denny's surpassed my wildestdreams, dreams.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
Why does he say dreams twice?

Speaker 3 (01:10:34):
It's the best part Dreams.

Speaker 6 (01:10:40):
Denny Hamlin.
Keep an eye on my Denny'sDenny's.

Speaker 3 (01:10:44):
I don't want to second guess your investigative
skills here.
Did you never think to put intoyoutube nascar demi hamlin
commercial, because that's thetitle of this video no, no, I.

Speaker 2 (01:10:57):
I was looking for denny's, denny's bro also.
It's not really a commercial,it was a youtube video that was
uploaded to you know, what fuckyou, man?
Why are you such a hater?

Speaker 5 (01:11:08):
I was wondering when you were just gonna get to that.
Why am I explaining myself?

Speaker 3 (01:11:12):
fuck off now that everyone's back from their big
ol pissy break, big piss break.
Yeah, all of us pissin wowiezowie.
We're back in action.
So why the fuck is it green allof a sudden?
What?
Why is it working?
My of a sudden what?
My next sub so my next one, isfrom r slash weird by Chris

(01:11:33):
Boudreau, called weird marksshowing up on floor.
Help, and he comments Moved in.
There are only Moved in, andthere were only two A few years
later and they were multiplying,multiplying, no idea.
They don't wipe off.
Some are darker, they seem tobe forming.
There are more forming on theother side of the room as well.

(01:11:54):
Seems stupid, right Like this.
Doesn't look like there's muchgoing on.
So you check the comments.
First comment oh my god, I havethe same things.
Just always assume that they'refrom the previous owner doing
weird shit because he is knownfor doing weird shit.
Never really thought to keeptrack of them to see if there's
more appearing and what thesethings are.
They kind of look like Legos.
It's like little rubber stamps.
It's like a stamp, like someonestamped a Lego onto your floor,

(01:12:16):
like maybe a wood bracketunderneath the big ass fucking
picture.
But then if you keep going inthe comments, even more, there's
other people that are like I'vegot them too, but I can only
see them under a black.

Speaker 2 (01:12:26):
It looks like somebody always wondered,
somebody branded the floor witha lego and it's not like they're
on the individual planks.
It's like on the floor becauseit goes from plank to plank yeah
.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
another person, uh, secret pets is like I got them
too, but I can only see themunder black lights.
What seems to be going on.
This prompted people to be likehey, op, uh, get a black light,
see a blacklight, see ifthere's any more.
He commented.
He's like, oh yeah, I got ablacklight.
I couldn't find any more ofthem, but it's very interesting.
And people started sleuthing.
There's a point where someoneeven commented they're like yeah

(01:12:58):
, I have these, they're from.
They're like I have them allover my floor.
Yeah, so the same mark there.
They say I have them all overmy floor.
They're from the rubber feet onmy treadmill and massage chair.
It's like the rubber startsdecomposing and leaving a
residue.
If anyone has tips on how toremove them, I'd be grateful.
They don't scrub off.
Op says these are the exactsame, but no furniture has been

(01:13:20):
there since I moved.
More posts.
There's more posts of peoplebeing like yeah, this looks like
it's probably from workoutequipment or something.
There's even posts of peoplePosting Like do it to it 42.
They're like there isdefinitely a pattern here.
It's four sets of marks.
They quote unquote Feet orwhatever is causing.
These marks are at a 90 Degreeangle, however far apart, but

(01:13:42):
it's a consistent spacing forPairs.
Has anyone been working out inthe Area?
Maybe an exercise step?
What?
Yeah, so people are like ohyeah, if you look, it's like
this one, like they're turningthe machine or they're moving
the machine or something.
Op is like there hasn't beenanything there, so I don't know
what it could be.
There's another person that'slike yeah, these look like this

(01:14:04):
track is from this one, thesetwo steps are from this track,
and people are like yeah, theseare definitely looking like
rubber feet.
A little rubber feet.
Yeah, someone even posted apicture.
These very much look like theserubber feet.
Polyurethane rubber can beaffected by a process known as
hydrosis, where the polyurethanebreaks down and is more prone

(01:14:28):
to happen in warm and humidclimates.
I guess what is happening Isthat an object was previously
Placed on the floor and leachedsome chemical Into the
polyurethane base Varnish.
After the object Was removed,the leached chemical now is the
opportunity To oxidize in theair and sunlight, and Even OP is
like that was my best guess,but it doesn't.
Someone said it almost lookslike hardware, maybe underneath

(01:14:54):
the floor, heating up andburning in.
That sounds like a stretch, butI'm stumped.
And OP's like that's my bestguess, but nothing smells like
it's burnt.
There's no burn smell ornothing like that.
If it was hardware, it's insuch a strange configuration I'm
almost afraid to tear it up andlook.
So everyone's giving OP theseideas on what it could be, but

(01:15:15):
he keeps denying them.
Someone else says drywallstilts.
They probably put the flooringdown using stilts for drywalling
or painting, then finish thefloor without sanding again, op
said.
But to show up randomly and todifferent degrees would be a
contender, however.
So everyone's giving them ideas, but OP's like no, I'm telling
you.
Nothing's been in this spot,but shit keeps popping up.

(01:15:37):
What do you guys think is goingon here?
Someone posted a Legomanbecause it's his feet.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
I agree with the theory here that so like residue
from the feet stuck to thefloor and got gooey over time
and then, like it was, initiallyinvisible, but then, over time,
it started collecting dirt andshit.

Speaker 5 (01:16:05):
Which is why you can see it under blacklight and it
got browner and browner.

Speaker 2 (01:16:07):
Yeah, it would seem like the chemical or adhesive or
melty rubber or whatever mayshow up under blacklight, but it
may be a little bit sticky andthen as stuff like dirty stuff
moves over it, it startscollecting dirt, moves over it.
It starts collecting dirt.
Because I've actually had thishappen to a floor where I had

(01:16:29):
put duct tape down on a floor tohold a wire in place and then I
peeled the tape up and when Ipeeled it up it didn't look like
there was anything there, butover time as I walked over it
and stuff, it started collectingdirt and then where the tape
was became pretty visible.
I bet that's the same sort ofthing that's happening.

Speaker 5 (01:16:50):
Yeah, that was my guess and honestly I I'm kind of
on board with the uh fuckingdrywall stilts because like
those do have rubber bottoms.
I don't know what kind ofrubber bottoms, but if there
were that many in an area you'donly need like between two and
six for a wall, and so if that'slike a shorter wall, I could
understand, and if that's acorner, that would explain the
90 degree rotations for two ofthem at the bottom.

Speaker 3 (01:17:13):
I think it's so.
The reason I brought it up wasbecause I, when I first found
this, I was very fascinated withthe fact that, like he posted
this and was like what is this?
And you had like four people inthe comments.
They're like I got those two,what the fuck?
Was like what is this?
And you had like four people inthe comments and they were like
I got those two, what the fuck?
But then you do realize I thinkit is just from like some, it
is just residue from like atreadmill or workout equipment,
because someone even postedthey're like the marks start to

(01:17:34):
look like the shape of treadmillrubber pads they posted a
picture of treadmill rubber padslike yeah, they posted a
picture of the rubber pads froma treadmill.
It's literally, literally themost identical thing.

Speaker 5 (01:17:45):
We started with aliens, yeah, and then we went
to gnomes.

Speaker 3 (01:17:48):
Yeah, but the swamp gas, I forgot where it was.
But someone in the comments waslike yeah, dude, this is just
from an old treadmill.
I do this exact same thing.
It's for moving your treadmillback and forth.
The reason it's a 90 degreeangle is because a lot of
treadmills.
You can lift up the back,swivel it to place it against
the wall or something, so youget that movement.

Speaker 4 (01:18:06):
So I think my cat fucking stepped on my my mute
button because I've been talkingand I'm like what the fuck?

Speaker 5 (01:18:12):
No one is oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:18:14):
You haven't said a word in like 10 minutes.
I was, like man Doug's, reallyover it.

Speaker 4 (01:18:17):
So I was trying to say I have a treadmill out in my
other room and it leaves likealmost those exact marks and I
could literally go and take apicture of them right now and
send it to you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:18:29):
son of a bitch okay, hold on, it's an interactive
episode for Doug, I'm wonderingif, like a bow, flex or like one
of those infomercial typethings.

Speaker 5 (01:18:39):
Yeah, a nordic track yeah, one of those like
infomercially.

Speaker 2 (01:18:42):
Exercise equipment things has that, because a lot
of those are meant to like foldup and like move around, so like
if it has like feet that youlike lay out and then you like
put it up or whatever I couldsee it making.

Speaker 3 (01:18:53):
I'm thinking so too, yeah this started off as a fun
mystery, but as you read thecomments, it's just yeah,
there's, this is workoutequipment.

Speaker 5 (01:19:01):
I do love that.
Everyone went fucking wildlylike left field first.

Speaker 3 (01:19:06):
I just really enjoy the concept of like the like.
The moment you see this and youscroll down someone's just like
I got these two.
What the fuck yeah that'spretty that.
Immediately I was just like oh,we got some juicy shit.
But if you go down to the nextcompany, it's like yeah, it's
from a treadmill.

Speaker 4 (01:19:20):
It's like Lots of Americans are fat.
The feet on my treadmill aredifferent, but I find these all
over where I keep my treadmill.
This isn't a good picturebecause we clean regularly, but
this is what's left right nowit's in the Discord, the Patreon
on the chat.
Again, we clean regularly, soit's just a single one.

Speaker 2 (01:19:45):
Same vibe though.

Speaker 5 (01:19:46):
And the other one had it on tile too.

Speaker 3 (01:19:49):
All right, yeah, the other one, yeah, yeah, it had on
tile and hardwood Hardwood.
Fake wood.
Yeah, mystery solved.
Yep, it was gnomes, we knew it.
It was gnomes.
Speaking of gnomes, there's aYouTube channel.
We did the YouTube last time,but it's.
I can see the gnomes, orwhatever, and it's about gnomes
causing a ruckus.
When are we?

Speaker 5 (01:20:07):
doing John Titor.

Speaker 3 (01:20:09):
So, matt, you said, you have another one right.

Speaker 2 (01:20:10):
Yeah, I also want to talk about that person.
That person in the comments onSpotify asked us to talk about
because I think that would befun, but we don't have time, oh
yeah, roy Joy or whatever, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:20:22):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:20:24):
Definitely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, allright.
Yeah, I got a story to send usoff with Y'all ready for this.

Speaker 3 (01:20:32):
Yeah, I'm ready for this.

Speaker 6 (01:20:33):
All right.

Speaker 2 (01:20:35):
It's from the same thread 11 years ago on Reddit,
what's the creepiest shit yougot?
And this person says I lived ina bizarre little house as a
child.
It was incredibly tall and thin, like an attached house, except
freestanding, with three floors, a basement and an attic.

(01:20:55):
It was full of quirks, such astwo fully functional fireplaces,
a shower stall in the center ofthe basement, a backyard so
small that you could not takefive paces without hitting the
fence and an old that you couldnot take five paces without
hitting the fence and anold-timey rope-pulled dumbwaiter
that led from the kitchen to mybedroom.
I loved that weird little place, but unfortunately it was

(01:21:16):
incredibly old and half of itscharm was the fact that it
seemed to have been designed byan inarticulate conclave of
lunatics, and eventually therepair costs exceeded what my
parents were willing to sinkinto it and we had to move.
Preparing for the move was achore.
I packed most of my stuffmyself and I had taken to
throwing stuff down thedumbwaiter and shoveling all of

(01:21:37):
my clothes so thickly in mycloset that they became a single
solid brick of fabric.
While clearing that closet out,in fact, I came across a
feature I hadn't noticed beforean attic entrance in the roof.
Being an adventurous kid, Iopened her up, stood on the
clothes brick and began my firstand last exploration into the
topmost part of our weird littlehouse.

(01:21:58):
The first thing I noticed wasthat it wasn't as dark as it
should have been.
The place was strung with oldred Christmas lights which still
burned, with leftoverincandescence, and a dozen
little cracks and holes peepeddown into all the bedrooms below
.
The second thing I noticed wasthat the place was set up for
habitation.
The insulation was plasticedaway and there was an old gurney

(01:22:20):
pulled with sleeping bags andsheets and a rusted mint green
refrigerator which still workedwhen I tested it.
The third thing was the bonesthere were a lot of bones.
Oh, the bones.
I always forget about the bones.
I was a kid at the time with alimited understanding of anatomy
, but there were bones of alltypes heaped into a series of

(01:22:42):
piles around the center of theattic, Small and large, clean
and white from every and anyimaginable sort of creature,
haphazardly stacked in a halfdozen clumps.
Two of them were blackened asif someone had tried to burn
them, and the walls nearestthose blackened piles were
screwed in dark bone charmessages.

(01:23:02):
Mostly they were just smears,but the word sorry appeared more
than once.
That room had been sitting overmy head for eight years while I
slept.
Hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:23:15):
Is this another real or fake situation?
Sure.

Speaker 2 (01:23:21):
It can be.

Speaker 3 (01:23:23):
It's spooky, sure it is spooky, I just don't really
know how to feel about that.
Alright, I like how Matt's justlike come on, give me more,
give me something.

Speaker 5 (01:23:39):
I just, I don't know, maybe I'm a fucking weirdo.
That doesn't really sound too.
I don't know.
Bones in the'm a fucking weirdo.

Speaker 2 (01:23:45):
That doesn't really sound too abnormal to me.
I don't know Bones Christmaslights that are still on.
Bones Christmas lights that arestill on.

Speaker 3 (01:23:53):
That sounds normal to you.

Speaker 5 (01:23:55):
That also sounds like something I would have done as
a child.

Speaker 3 (01:24:00):
Your life must have been interesting growing up.

Speaker 2 (01:24:02):
But who did it?
Who strung up the boons?

Speaker 5 (01:24:09):
I don't know, did they talk about anybody else
who's in the house?
Their parents?

Speaker 2 (01:24:13):
It's just them.

Speaker 5 (01:24:15):
It was just their parents.
It's them and their parents.

Speaker 2 (01:24:20):
Alright, it's fake, that's fine, I'm gonna go fake.
That's fine.
Whatever man, I don'tunderstand.
Whatever man, all right, I gotanother one, but fuck it.

Speaker 3 (01:24:31):
Whatever, no, you don't.
One more.
One more, one more.

Speaker 5 (01:24:36):
I hope you didn't think there was a slight against
you, because that was just usnot understanding.
No, it's just a story.
It's also hard to read becauseit's got a lot of big words in
it and I'm stupid.

Speaker 4 (01:24:49):
I'd be scared if I could read.
Yeah, that's also true.

Speaker 2 (01:24:50):
I haven't gotten a lot of sleep.
Did you see where Travis Kelseywas like?
Hosting Saturday Night Live wasreally hard Because, or not,
travis?

Speaker 3 (01:24:58):
Yeah it was Travis Kelsey.

Speaker 4 (01:25:01):
Was it.

Speaker 2 (01:25:02):
Yeah, it was Travis.
Sorry, no, not Jason Travis,but yeah, he was.
Like the hardest part ofListening Saturday Night Live
Was I can't fucking read the thenotes.

Speaker 3 (01:25:13):
Our education system.
Let us down.

Speaker 2 (01:25:15):
But the thing is, this man's been to college, yeah
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:25:21):
It's hard to read.

Speaker 2 (01:25:22):
Anyway, Another story from the same thread.
I had awesome parents who letme sleep in the living room on
weekend nights when I was veryyoung, because my sister was a
light sleeper and I could stayup until dawn.
But of course I always ended upsleeping on the couch because
Nick at night made me tired.

Speaker 4 (01:25:41):
So one night.

Speaker 2 (01:25:42):
I wake up to the prickly, feeling like an
instinct, just bolted into asitting position and stared out
the front window.
We lived in rural Georgia, soyou can imagine the magnitude of
trees In perfect light castfrom the moon.
I see a silhouette of someonein this fucking tree.
The family dog dashes to thewindow and is snarling into the
glass, terrified.
I run into my parents' room andtry to explain to my parents

(01:26:05):
that there's a strange personoutside.
Dad grabs something defensiveand darts outside with the dogs
to beat the wax off the hothead.
I tremble in mama's arms untildad comes home and says he saw
no one.
And to go to bed I decided tosleep in my regular bedroom.
I fill in my sister as to whathas happened.
Dad is making regular rounds inthe house with a cup of coffee.

(01:26:25):
We're all still and I finallythink I can sleep.
Nope, I noticed the man outsideof my window.
From what I can see in themoonlight.
He gives me a shush signal,shush signal, a shush signal and
runs away.
Just turns around and runs awayin a straight line.
I swear I couldn't stop cryingfor what felt like hours.

Speaker 5 (01:26:47):
Definitely just their uncle, what the fuck?
Yeah, it's that Pest Dispenserguy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:56):
Yeah, you know, that's not too weird.
That's not weird.
That's something that I woulddo if I was a kid.

Speaker 5 (01:27:02):
I mean, I've read real stories about that, yeah no
, I did that to you as a child.
Yeah, um no.

Speaker 4 (01:27:10):
I talked about when they said that prickly feeling.

Speaker 5 (01:27:13):
Yeah, what the what?
I got stuck there for a minute.

Speaker 2 (01:27:16):
When you get, a boner yeah, while you're watching it
first Wait where did you saythis was Wait?

Speaker 4 (01:27:21):
where did you say this was Georgia?

Speaker 2 (01:27:25):
Yeah, yeah, it's their uncle.
Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 3 (01:27:31):
Yeah, that's creepy.
I like that, especially becauseyou don't get a good
description of what the thing inthe tree is.

Speaker 5 (01:27:39):
It sounds like somebody who had a very
traumatic experience and who hadparents that didn't believe
them.

Speaker 2 (01:27:45):
I'll be honest as I read both these stories, I was
like you know what?
These really aren't that great.

Speaker 4 (01:27:52):
You were in a different place at the time you
were on the first time.

Speaker 2 (01:27:55):
I was like these aren't bad.
But now reading them again, I'mlike you know.
I didn't really.
I could have come to the tablewith something better on this
one, but hey you know, what youwin some and you lose some, and
sometimes it's just middle ofthe road.

Speaker 5 (01:28:11):
Well, you're just trying to cluster a target.
The more shots you take, themore chances you have to hit.

Speaker 2 (01:28:16):
I'm really tired, I'm really tired.
Well what better?

Speaker 3 (01:28:21):
place to end it there than we're all sleepy peepees
now.
We're old.
Now we gotta do a bonus afterthis you guys have to do a bonus
kill me the dog and I could doit if you want to go, if you too
.

Speaker 2 (01:28:35):
Yeah, it's fine.
What's another night withoutsleep?

Speaker 3 (01:28:40):
well everyone.
I would like to say thank youfor chiming in on this weird
dive into random reddit stuffthat we found Weird, weird.
I want to go ahead and say goto r slash dad and give him
plenty of kiss emojis and gofrom there.
I also want to say go todeluitycom patreoncom slash

(01:29:05):
deluitypod.
Go to linktreecom slashdilutypod.
If you go to our website,you'll find other links to all
our shit.
Gmail is dilutypod at gmailcom.
Send us emails and be like hey,this is what this is like,
things of that manner.
Go to our Discord Give us money.
Go to our YouTube Buy our merch.

(01:29:25):
Butt.
Licker us money.
Um, go to youtube.
Buy our merch.
Prices are butt liquor.
Our prices have never beenlower liquor.

Speaker 5 (01:29:34):
Um, that's all I got, jason well, like I said last
time, uh, clams stay paranoid,um I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:29:43):
Yes but I'd say smack your clam directly in the lips
or some shit like that.

Speaker 4 (01:29:47):
Stay stupid slap your lips with your clam, or
something.

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
Matt, what do you have?
Don't let your dreams be dreamsdreams, dreams dreams.

Speaker 3 (01:30:01):
Douglas, what do you got um?
I want everyone to go.

Speaker 4 (01:30:05):
I want everyone to go out and buy a new pair of.
I want everyone to go.
I want everyone to go out andbuy a new pair of shoes.

Speaker 3 (01:30:11):
I'm sure I still go.

Speaker 4 (01:30:13):
No, I want everyone to go buy a new pair of shoes,
and when you put those shoes onat the end of your long day, I
want you to go rub one out andmake sure that it goes into the
box for the next two to fiveyears of your life.
Just do it.

Speaker 5 (01:30:30):
I love the man's rationale for that was I bought
new shoes and I needed a hardstop record yourself doing it
yes but schedule each one though.

Speaker 2 (01:30:45):
But schedule the uploads for, like, the next 30
years, and then die 30 yearsworth of jizz, and then die, you
keep jizzing in your death inthe afternoon.

Speaker 3 (01:31:01):
Well, everyone, have a nice day.
Don't come too hard bye.

Speaker 1 (01:31:12):
Have a nice day.
Don't come too hard.
Try to after this.
Bye.

Speaker 2 (01:31:24):
Don't look under the internet.

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DLUTI 199 - Long Furbies and Hispanic Colonel Sanders ft. Aliens

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}DLUTI 199 - Long Furbies and Hispanic Colonel Sanders ft. Aliens