The One Where Batman Doesn't Give Head

Ever wondered if Batman's a giver or a taker in the bedroom? We're not holding back in this hilariously unfiltered episode of the Don't Make It Weird Podcast! We kick things off with some lively banter, including updates on Dina's toddler, Zebra, and his new molars. Producer Sean chimes in with his signature wit, and Dina shares her recent success in book marketing by offering her book for free. The episode is rounded out with a beloved game segment, another hysterical Dina story, and an eagerly anticipated reading of "Space Raptor Butt Invasion" in our Cringey Copulation segment.

As if that wasn't enough, we dive headfirst into some humorous superhero speculation, debating the intimate lives of Batman, Superman, Wolverine, and Tony Stark. Get ready for a teaser about a juicy Kardashian-Jenner conspiracy theory that we can't wait to unravel. We also explore generational differences in interpreting punctuation and showcase our Accountabili-Buddy segment, where Dina updates us on her memoir progress. Big news: we'll be at Shock-O-Con in Havre de Grace, Maryland! Join us from August 23rd to 25th for signings, photos, and drinks.

The chaos continues with a word association game that spirals into nostalgic references and hilarious misunderstandings. We share an indie author's unexpected success story through a Kindle giveaway, offering key insights for aspiring writers. And don't miss our recount of a wild altercation at an Italian appliance center—a hammer fight you'll have to hear to believe. This episode is a rollercoaster of humor, storytelling, and valuable tips for writers and listeners alike. Don't miss it!

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Dina's website: https://dinasaurusd.com

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Producer Sean on Twitter: http://twitter.com/shaceholdu

Music Credit:
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's the Don't Make.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
It Weird Podcast with your hosts Daniel and
Dinosaurus.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Hello there and welcome to the Don't Make it
Weird Podcast.
We are your writing storycomedy.
God damn it.
We're off to a great start.
Second episode of third seasonalready fucking it all up.
Welcome to the Don't Make itWeird podcast.
We are your writingstorytelling comedy podcast for
everyone.
It doesn't just have to be thewriting community.
We love you guys.
All Whoever is into us, we wantto love you.

(00:34):
We just want to make sweetaudio love to you.
Maybe a little visual.
No, visual love is weird.
Is that weird if we say visuallove?

Speaker 4 (00:42):
Eye babies.
That weird, if we say visuallove.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
I babies, I babies, I babies and I traps.
That's what we're here for.
Um and guys.
I am joined as always by theshocking silencer who
systematically slams suckerssymmetrically dina saurus, hi
dina, I'm trying to bring thatheat today, so what mundane
thing are you?
Doing right now oh, yep, you'refolding laundry.

(01:04):
That's that's what we're doingright now.
Yeah, 100, she's, she's, uh,she's focused, she's focused,
she's locked in.
Her hair is on point, dina, howare you doing?

Speaker 4 (01:14):
I'm doing okay.
I'm doing okay.
I had something funny to say.
I do this every time, don't I?

Speaker 3 (01:23):
it's just like my girlfriend in high school that
was in canada.
You wouldn't know her.
She's a model, though oh my godokay, I'm doing good.
Thanks for asking having a goodweek yeah, uh, any any big
milestone moments for uh zebra.
Uh, did he?
Did he destroy anything?

Speaker 4 (01:42):
uh, yeah, he's got all four molars now.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
That's fun how the fuck has he already got molars?
What are you doing to him?

Speaker 4 (01:50):
he's got all.
All four came in at once.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
We were at the dentist don't molars take a like
like one of the last things tocome in yeah, um daniel doesn't
have his, yeah, his like firstcleaning.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
And um, I was like, yeah, I think he has like
another, uh, two teeth coming in, because he usually gets them
in twos.
And the dentist like opened hismouth and he was like, oh cool,
all four molars, that's nice.
I was like thanks that's whyI'm miserable that's right.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Yeah, yeah, you're in hell right now.
Yeah, that's, that's absolutehell.
But you know who isn't in hell,guys?
Guys, we have a third member ofthe team and he is the only
adult in the room and let metell you something A little bit
of Sean's thigh A cold beer on aFriday night, a Space Raptor's
butt that's tight and don't makeit weird on Producer Sean,
everyone.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Hey, buddy, how are you?
I like how tight that one was.
It was tight, it was a tighttight.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
You know, I feel like it ended right when it should.
Yeah, I really consideredadding another verse.
It got really graphic, it got alittle weird.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Even by my standards, I think it was perfect, right
there.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
It was just the right level of of objectification for
you.
Is that it was just the rightlevel of objectification for you
is that?
Is that the uh?

Speaker 1 (03:06):
I just feel like, quit, while you're ahead, you
know, don't, don't take it toofar.
And then be that guy who'sstill a pro wrestler when he's
80 years old and he's not overanymore and people just feel bad
for him you know, what I meanwow, that's a hot take right
there.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Holy shit, if the rocks army listened to us right
now, we would be getting fuckingburied.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
I don't even, does he still wrestle?

Speaker 1 (03:32):
yeah, he does.
He was he main eventedWrestlemania like a couple weeks
ago oh my bad, yeah, he's stilllike uh against his fucking
nephew or his cousin RomanReigns, they're, they're, uh,
related somehow yeah, I mean,they're all basically a little
related.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
But you know what, man, I'm excited.
I'm excited to get the Roll Tide.
I'm excited to get family backtogether.
I'm excited for another episode.
We're being consistent, we'rerecording like we're good adults
and, guys, today we're going tobe talking a little bit about
putting your book up for free if, uh, you know, to start

(04:09):
generating some interest insales.
Dina's had a pretty amazing runlately.
We're going to kind of discussthat.
Uh, guys, we're also going toget into a very popular game
segment, bringing back the og.
We got another incredible dinastory and, uh, you know, we're
going to give the folks whatthey want, which is a second
reading from Sean and cringycopulation this week.
Um, because we, we got phonecalls and people have been just

(04:33):
off the hook needing part two ofspace.
We're at their butt.
Yeah, sean, can you confirmthat?
We've just been, uh, inundatedand calls.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
So we play some games every week here, some drinking
games.
We play Buffalo, which means wehave to drink with our offhand.
We're all right-handed here inthe room, so we all drink with
our left hand.
If we're caught drinking withour right hand, we have to
finish our drink.
Also, we have a series ofbuzzwords.
If you hear that buzzer, thatmeans someone said one of those
buzzwords and it's time to takea drink.

(05:11):
And guys, this week we decidedto try a new weird beverage that
I discovered at the grocerystore.
It is arizona brand hard teaand dina, and I understood the
uh assignment and someone elseput almost no effort into it,
like five percent effort.
It is hard tea, some kind ofalcoholic tea, not the thing
that he was told to get.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
So I also got spiced root beer.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, so he's going to be taking a shot of spiced
root beer.
Spiced root beer vodka.
I can't say that spiced rootbeer, but root beer vodka.
There we go that was perfect,change nothing.
Spiced root beer vodka rightnow?
Yep, yep, as penance.
Yeah, there you go, buddy, takeit to the head, bitch.
Shut up, bitch.

(05:51):
Oh, it's under my nose.
The big fucking cans.
I got the mix set, which is thesmall, like seltzer size cans.
She got the big fucking the bigfuckers that you know.
The regular Arizona iced teacomes in.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
So these are almost as big as my kid's head.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
That's.
That's saying a lot.
So for the record the other isthat peach.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
Yeah, which one should I try first?

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Damn, we don't even have the same flavors.
I have kiwi strawberry, I havefruit punch and I have
watermelon and I have mango.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
So for the audio, only listeners.
Normally I lie to you guys, butI'm not lying this time.
Dina's showing off her cansright now on, don't make it
weird.
They're big fucking cans,they're fucking huge cans.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
Mine are much smaller comparison um, you're gonna
drink both of them, so itdoesn't really matter which one
you try first um, I have tofinish them if I start um, I
mean with great cans I've neverseen you not finish a drink I
planned on giving this to timbecause I hate tea well, I mean

(06:56):
trade them after you try it.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
Then I mean dina, a different drink you powered
through mom water, despitehating it, with a burning fiery
passion.
That's true.

Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah, but Tim loves tea, so I was going to be nice
and then go get wine.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
I was going to be nice and then I'm going to go
get wine.
No, that tracks.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
I opened, I cracked the kiwi strawberry Cheers.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Hey, chills, chills, chills.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Wow, this tastes just like the.
It's like the juice.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
I don't even taste the alcohol in mine, and that's
freaking me out.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
I got like the Arizona, like juice flavors, and
you have the iced tea ones yeah, yours sounded better if you're
gonna do Arizona, it has to bethe iced tea, bro.
This is the one that I foundand it's the one I sent you guys
a picture of.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
So no one understood the assignment.
It's not just me.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
No, Dina gets points.
She actually got Arizona hard,which was the assignment.
She got Arizona hard.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
So would you say that her cans are hard right now?

Speaker 1 (08:03):
Not anymore.
So, Daniel, I think we havetime for a quick shower If you
want to rinse off?

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Yeah, let's, let's, guys.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
You're in the shower.
I'm going to.
I'm going to call.
This is a good time to like goto the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
This is the time for you at home, too.
This is a good time to go get anew drink.
Go to the bathroom, just let itbe.
You don't need to pause it,just let it play.
Hold on a second.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
I had something.
I've been so distracted by theiced tea.
Hold on, let me remember realfast.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Now you're just posturing for more time.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
No, I do need more time, sean Sean.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
I don't know I, when I say this why do I have to
sound so dumb?

Speaker 3 (08:45):
Holy fuck, what was it?

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Listen, man.
I just my impression is basedon you.
I'm not making it up.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
Hold on.
I need a moment of silence toremember where my brain was at.
Oh God, this is embarrassing.
I haven't even taken mouthdrugs yet.
Um oh, I got it All right, I'mready, but I also need.
Dina back for this.
So let's just sit in silenceand awkwardly look at each other

(09:14):
.
Can we do that?
Sean and now an impromptudramatic reenactment.
Oh hi.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Dina, oh Hi, just in time.
There she goes, she's got her-.
I just wanted to fluff Daniel alittle bit, get him excited and
then take it away.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
That's fair, all right.
So, guys, you know, dim thelights, light the bag, light a
couple-, spread the light.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
That's totally not affecting the audio at all, by
the way.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
Sean, that's just your mic again.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Sorry.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
I said that was just your mic again.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Oh, that was my mic again.
You see, that whole saga thathappened With my mic isn't going
to be in the episode.
So you throwing back to that isnot helpful.
It's not helpful.
No one understands the joke.

Speaker 6 (10:04):
Who's going to be in the episode, so you throwing
back to.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
That is not helpful.
It's not helpful, no oneunderstands the joke.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Who's gonna watch this?

Speaker 2 (10:10):
we do get a lot of just cut this out too.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
You're just making more work for me and you think
it's funny?
It's not?
Funny you know what I fuckinglove when I go through an
episode and all I have to do isthrow our fucking graphic on at
the beginning and put thecredits at the end, and it's
happened like one time ever andit was the greatest thing of all
time.

Speaker 4 (10:32):
Can you please leave this?
This is why Sean is so done.
This show will die before me,me.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
yes, I will kill it with fire that's fair.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
All right, I'm ready.

Speaker 4 (10:49):
I'm ready, let's hop in the shower yeah, yeah, okay
okay, I forgot what I was gonnasay, but I'll remind you guys
later and it'll just be out ofnowhere.
Okay, good all right.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
So, guys, let's uh as god intended let's light some
candles, let's turn the showerup and have absolutely no h play
in this shower because, guys,it's time for shower.
Thoughts, okay, um.
So, guys, I was thinking aboutthe other day because it seemed
like this whole like comic bookcontroversy about how, like I
guess, in the um harley quinn tvshow, they had to cut a scene

(11:26):
where, like batman was givingoral to um catwoman, um, because
the people yeah, yeah, they cutit completely, um, because
apparently like dc is like nah,man, batman don't do that, he
don't, he don't go down on girls, and I just started thinking
about how weird that is.

(11:46):
Like there have been sex scenesin marvel and like superhero
movies.
Like like heroes definitely getafter a little bit.
But like what about the otherstuff?
Like can you think about howweird it is to like think about
superman getting a blowy?
Or or like batman just likefuriously jerking off in the bat
cave, like think about theflash doing that oh my god, he

(12:10):
finished before you even thoughtabout doing it.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
Um, for me, I think it's obvious that batman doesn't
do that.
He strikes me as uh gray typelike who has a weird sex
basement, like he's abillionaire and he's weird and
broody.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
He probably keeps the cowl on.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
You know what I mean.
Superman definitely does.
I bet Superman's a giver, not ataker, because he's too afraid
he'd put a hole in the back of aman's head with his super sperm
, Doesn't he have super breaththough?
He does have breath.
I mean he could, I mean hecontrols it though.
He controls it, though hedoesn't just breathe that way.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
What if he just like through, like just?

Speaker 3 (12:54):
like yeah, he sneezes while going down A shot, a hole
through your vagina.
That's why Listen, I think.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
Superman.
The only thing Superman does ishe gives head because he's too
afraid he's going to blast likea shotgun through any woman that
he's sticking to.

Speaker 6 (13:11):
He's a good man.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
He doesn't kill people.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Yeah, so you know Moonlight's as a reporter.
So like you know he's got ahumble upbringing, like he's
definitely not one of those likeI'm too good to give head.
You know like he's a humble guy.

Speaker 4 (13:24):
Oh yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
Yeah, and like all right, like what?
What?
What do you think about?
Like Wolverine, Like we gotadamantium and like imagine that
Nevermind.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
Um, I feel like Wolverine Wolverine, as, as a
short King, he has to make upfor it with good head game.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah you know what that makes sense?
I don't think Wolverine wouldoh, you think he'd be a selfish
lover.
I mean, he's been around forlike a couple hundred years.
Like he's gotta have picked upsome tricks here and there.
I mean we know what Hulk doeshe smashes.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
Hulk smashes?

Speaker 3 (14:02):
yeah, he doesn't that's all Hulk's doing, man um
but all right all right, I gotone more for you.
What do you think?
That Tony Stark jerks himselfoff or has his robot army do it
for him?

Speaker 1 (14:17):
I think, I think he jerks himself off while looking
at himself in the mirror.
Like he's like one hand againstthe mirror and just hunched
over the bathroom sink.
You know like why is he in thebathroom sink, man?
Because it's easy to clean up.
If you shoot in the sink, dude,what?

Speaker 3 (14:41):
the fuck I have.
You know what I'm with you.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yep, I don't want to know, but that's he wants to
windex come off of his full-sizemirror in his wardrobe I just
assumed that he has mirrors allover his house like you know,
he's gonna make pepper pots dothat.

Speaker 3 (14:55):
That's too far you can't ask pepper bots.

Speaker 4 (14:59):
Clean up that uh I just wanted to do my laundry.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
When you say that, it just reminds me of when in
Friends, when Monica's talkingto Chandler on the phone and
she's like I told her I wasgoing to go do laundry and he's
like ooh, laundry Is that my newnickname.

Speaker 4 (15:17):
That's beautiful, oh my God yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
That is true.
So, guys, that's that, you know.
You can hop out of the showernow.
I hope everyone rinsed off anduh is definitely windexing their
bathroom mirrors, but don't gotoo far.
I need you guys to dim thelights.
Towel off, Towel off, Dim thelights.
Put on some nice mood music.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
She can't fold her laundry in the dark, you guys
leave the mood music.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
You know.
Get the mood music right.
Leave your suspension ofdisbelief at the door and it's
time for tiktok conspiracy,what's it called?
Yeah, uh, hey, uh, sean youwant to talk about the vodka.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
Want to talk about the vodka again.
You want to talk about thevodka again.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
We're doing great right now.
It's time for Dinosaurus'TikTok Conspiracy.
Corner, dina, what do you gotfor us?

Speaker 4 (16:11):
Okay, so we all know who the Kardashian and Jenners
are right.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah, can you elaborate?

Speaker 4 (16:17):
I mean, I've never watched them.
We know that they exist.
Are you talking?

Speaker 1 (16:22):
about the famous attorney Robert Kardashian.

Speaker 4 (16:26):
Is he an attorney?

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Robert Kardashian, the father he defended OJ
Simpson.
That's what he did.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
No what?
Oh, no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 5 (16:37):
What no?

Speaker 1 (16:37):
no no Original baby, robert Kardashian.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
Original baby daddy Because Caitlyn was not.
Yeah, caitlyn did not have Kim,sorry.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
That was OJ's lawyer.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
Yeah, that's what made them famous.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
But that was the no Kim's sex tape made them famous.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
No, they were.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
They were names.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
They were names beforehand, but that's why the
sex tape then actually had legs,because the name behind it.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
Bruce Jenner, who that's the dead name of Caitlyn
Jenner was an Olympian.

Speaker 6 (17:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
And that's why he was famous.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
Yeah, so do you think that Batman's like jerked off
to the Kardashian sex tape?

Speaker 4 (17:22):
So, okay, the Kardashians.
So we know who they are?
Apparently did not, but um,they keep their brother rob,
uh-huh.
They make sure that he staysfat and doesn't lose weight,
because they need him for theirinjections.
They need his fat for theirinjections.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
They use his fat for their booty and for their lips
and stuff.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
Couldn't they just easily pay someone to do that or
buy the best fat available?

Speaker 3 (17:58):
Why would we use the Kardashian?

Speaker 4 (18:01):
fat, is it like?

Speaker 1 (18:02):
a DNA thing.

Speaker 4 (18:04):
They want to keep it in the family yeah, and they
don't want to like risk anythinggoing wrong.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
If it's their jeans, maybe, I don't know, couldn't
they just get fat for a monthlike just pig out and then get
the lipo themselves?

Speaker 1 (18:17):
no bro, no, oh no they can never do that, you're
right no like horrificallytraumatizing liposuction is to
your body.

Speaker 3 (18:20):
Like they wouldn't just really do that and I don't
think any can never do that.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
You're right you know like horrifically traumatizing
liposuction is to your body,Like they wouldn't just
regularly do that and I don'tthink any surgeon would do that.
I think that if they're keepingtheir brother fat, it's to make
themselves just look good,period.
Like if they're seen around thechubby bro.
It makes them look good bycomparison.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
But they're like never seen around him.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
Yeah, he used to be on the show a lot and then once
he started getting fat and likelosing his hair, he backed out
of the show, basicallycompletely.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
So Daniel doesn't know who the Kardashians are,
but he watches Keeping Up withthe Kardashians.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
My wife really, really liked reality show Shout
out Below Deck, the only qualityreality show that's ever
existed.
The only reality TV I watch iscooking competitions and.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
Survivor Dina that's ever existed um.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
the only reality I watch is cooking competitions um
and survivor dina okay, youcan't hold on you just had you
were up on your high horsetalking about I don't watch
reality shows, bitch.
You were watching the originalI don't watch reality shows.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
I said, the only reality shows I watch are
cooking, competitions andsurvivor.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
That's.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
There was a dot dot dot at the end because I
remembered that I also watchedsurvivor.
It sounded like you were comingoff.

Speaker 4 (19:33):
Gen X things dot dot dot means.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
I've heard that.
Well, Gen X means it's like apause, like a slight pause, but
I've heard that Gen Z thinksit's like insulting to use
ellipses the weirdest one to meis that you can't have an
exclamation mark next to a wordbecause it's too aggressive.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
There needs to be a space so it's not as aggressive.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
I can't it's still also talked about ellipses on
the show, so we can skip thatpart too okay, that's fair um my
bad she's got her wine.
Let's go, let's go.

Speaker 3 (20:10):
Let's go, let's go.
All right, guys, it's time fora segment that we in no way
stole from any other show A veryoriginal, completely unique
show.
Don't look up, we have Issues.
Don't check out Anthony andStevie Wildcard or their comic
Deathless, or Play it Again orany of those things.
Just trust us that this isoriginal and we definitely

(20:33):
didn't steal it from some of themost creative, handsome and
intelligent people that we know.
This is the AccountabilityBuddy segment, where we kind of
check in with each other andcheck out Dina's socks, um, as
well as writing uh, dina, howare your socks?
And writing going no socktesticles in this house.

Speaker 4 (20:51):
No sock testicles.
Um.
Writing is going great.
I'm almost a 40,000 words on mymemoir and I'm really liking it
.

Speaker 6 (21:01):
It's very therapeutic to write.
Oh you're 40,000.

Speaker 4 (21:05):
Your memoir.
Memoirs.
I really hate talking about ittoo, because it really does feel
pretentious, but also like I amat a point where I'm very
excited about writing it and Ihaven't been excited about a
project in a long time.

Speaker 3 (21:18):
You grew up in a fucking cult, bro, like you
lived a kind of weird life.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
You know we're moving on to fruit punch like you live
the kind of weird life you know.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
We're moving on to fruit punch.
Yeah, it's already on the fruitpunch.
Um, um, how's your writinggoing, daniel?

Speaker 3 (21:29):
uh, it is actually going okay.
I finally cracked open my devedits.
Um, I'm starting to get startedon that and I actually finally
have an idea for book three.
Um, because I learned about aridiculous cryptid based in
alabama and I don't know if Iwant to base my whole book about
it.
But roll tide, roll tide.
Um, have you guys heard ofhugging Molly?

(21:50):
Yeah, no that sounds like a likea irish punk band so apparently
in alabama and and uh, my, myeditor, ashley hutchison,
confirms that this is a thinghug and molly is like a spectral
spirit that runs up to you,hugs you and then shouts really

(22:11):
loudly in your ear and then runsaway and I feel like like this
is yeah, look up hugging Molly.
I don't believe that Pleaseread about hugging Molly.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
The legend of Molly, hugging Molly.
So it's, there's, there's anapostrophe there.
It's hugging Molly, hugging.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
Molly, can you give us a little rundown?
You want to read it out realquick.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
The legend of hugging Molly.
Generations of Abbevillechildren have listened wide-eyed
to their parents tell the storyof Hug and Molly.
They have hurried home onnights lit only by the moon's
glow, certain they saw somethingin the shadows, afraid she
would be around the next corner.
The versions of who Hug andMolly actually was vary, but one
frequent description depictsher as a giant of a woman, maybe

(22:53):
seven feet tall oh shit and asbig around as a bale of cotton.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
Some say, that's thick.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
She thick with two C's boy.
Some say her ghost still walksthe streets of Abbeville late.
I don't know if it's Abbevilleor Abbeville.
I like Abbeville Late in thenight, sweeping her black skirt
as she goes, If she happens uponyou she as she goes.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
If she happens upon you, she chases you down, gives
you a huge hug and screams inyour ear, and that's it, Like
she's not trying to murder you.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
She's not trying to do anything.
She just wants better than oneof Daniel's hugs.
Listen, I got the yips man,that's the type of horror that I
can get down with.

Speaker 4 (23:28):
Speaking of horror.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
Speaking of horror.
And not a hor derv sean, Ithink that whore, speaking of
whores, whores, whore dervs, uhsean, I believe we have kind of
a giant fucking announcement andI feel like this should come
from you, buddy, for me okay.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Uh, well, we have booked a booth in the haunted
library at Shaco con in Havre deGrace, maryland, this August.
We will all be there in personfor the first time ever.
Um, in the, uh, the hauntedlibrary lounge, cafe and book
nook at Shaco con too.
Um, basically, it's for authorsand publishers to have a

(24:10):
location for all of theirsignings, readings, features.
Um next to the vending hall forthis horror convention, shako
con, which we're very excited totake dina to.
Um, she loves horror.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
There's a bar nearby so we checked that box and um if
you show up, please buy me adrink, but don't spike it, we're
getting we're getting dinasuper drunk.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Um come hang out with us.
I have a child.
Get signed copies, personalizedsigned copies of our books.
Get free stickers.
There'll be other friends ofthe show that you'll recognize
from previous guest segments.
Like who we're not going to say.

Speaker 4 (24:49):
It's a secret.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
You can't say the name.
Fine, yeah, come meet us, takephotos with us, hang out.
We'll be there all weekend it'saugust 22nd through the 25th at
um the star center in havre degrace, maryland.
Um.
I don't know if tickets areavailable yet by the time this
airs probably probably.
Uh, yeah, we're super, superexcited about it and for the
first time ever, we will berecording an episode of don't

(25:13):
make it weird all three of us inthe same room.
So we're super pumped.
I'm sitting on sean's lap come,say hi to us yeah, man I'm
getting a drunk.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
So listen, this all came together last minute.
Uh, best friend of the show,ransom babo uh are putting this
con on.
It's a huge con.
Thousands of people are comingthrough and this has kind of
become our, uh, our rallying cryright now for the indie, uh
writing community.
So I don't know if you're inthe area, if you live in the
northeast or maybe got a lot offrequent frequent flyer miles,
come visit us, come hang outwith us.
Even though I got the hug yipsI, I will attempt to give you a

(25:46):
poor hug.

Speaker 4 (25:47):
Okay, with consent you know, I think I would
actually actually pass out ifthomas anthony lay came oh my
god in england, but okay, nohe's somewhere in australia,
somewhere in europe?

Speaker 3 (26:02):
fanny, if you're seeing this, please come visit
me.
I need a fan, I need someone Ineed you in my life.

Speaker 5 (26:07):
That's the one fan my one I.

Speaker 3 (26:10):
I think levi counts as well, so I've got two, two
fans levi is levi tolerates youbecause of me it's because of me
in this world everything gooddaniel experiences is because of
her.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
You're welcome hey, no yeah.
So my accountability thing is I, I'm like balls deep in
planning that and we're monthsout, by the way, as of this
recording, we're two monthsprior to the event and, um,
we're gonna be together in twomonths.
I'm getting booth graphicscustomized, I'm getting business

(26:51):
cards printed out, I'm gettinga little spinny wheel.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
So you guys can spin the wheel and make us do funny
shit like it's gonna be fun oh,I'm so.
I didn't even know about that.
That's fucking.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, I haven't told them any of this yet.
So, um, yeah, come, come hangout with us.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
Um, it'll be fun yeah , no, I I can't wait.
Uh, we've been talking aboutthis for years.
I'm talking about doing ameetup for years and it just so
happened.
This all worked out and, fromthe people I've talked to that
are also planning on comingthere.
Man, it's going to be anabsolute party for the entire
indie writing community.
So, if you're able, I'd love tofucking go out and hang out
with you guys.
You can buy me a drink, I'llbuy you a drink.

(27:28):
We'll all make eye babies.
Yeah, probably buy Dina a drink.
That's fair.
It's going to be fuckingawesome.
So that is us being accountable, but just know that you're all
cordially invited.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
Link is in the description for the convention
below yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (27:47):
What sound is that Voicemail?

Speaker 1 (27:48):
Voicemail.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
Let's hope that I set this up properly.

Speaker 5 (28:03):
That's the voice.
Is that Bob?
Is that Bob?

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Is this what he's jerking off to right?

Speaker 5 (28:12):
now it is Batman jerking off to right now.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Yeah, they are gonna meet you on a dark white night.
I didn't plan this guys.

Speaker 3 (28:22):
I swear to God, I didn't plan this.

Speaker 5 (28:24):
Flying through the sky and you're watching all the
people in their wonderful waysand you're going like, hey, good
job, that's the Don't make itweird podcast.
And I just want to say thatyou're all like the best people.

(28:47):
And when I'm riding around in aand I'm listening to your show
and I'm peeing up the Joker andit's to freeze.
I'm listening to your show andI'm peeing up the Joker and it's
a freeze, I'm like, yeah,that's the severity of all the
potato.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(29:10):
I hate gnomes.
Don't tell Daniel that, but Ifucking killed a gnome the other
day.
I broke my one rule, that wasto kill a gnome, because I knew
the gnome would come back.
God bless.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
God bless Batman.

Speaker 5 (29:27):
There's only one thing I can't kill Gnome.
Gnome, no what.
And Jar Jar?

Speaker 3 (29:33):
Binks.
He said he killed a gnome.
Okay, he did.
Okay, I misunderstood.

Speaker 1 (29:41):
I see him and he said Jar Jar Binks, that bastard I
see you Like.

Speaker 5 (29:43):
I see you, producer.
Sean, I'm watching.
I'm mainly listening because Ican't watch because of the crime
fighting, but you're in my back.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
Yeah, I get it, just not giving head to Catwoman yeah
.

Speaker 5 (30:01):
I bought Apple, he bought Apple.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Bruce Wayne bought Apple.
That's not him.
Different people yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:13):
That makes sense.
Rich people have friends.
Yeah, I get it incredible.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
I can't believe that that just happened.
Okay, so what the fuck?
First of all, I just want toapologize to batman for what I
said earlier about how he'sprobably a depraved christian
gray type who has a weird sexdungeon.
I didn't know.
You listened to the show and Ifeel really bad about it,
although I feel like yourmessage and the tone of it just
kind of yeah sean.
Can we my theory?

Speaker 3 (30:46):
can we?
Can we roll our first apologyof the new season sean, can we?

Speaker 1 (30:49):
I feel like we did that last week already, but okay
yeah, hey batman I just wantyou to

Speaker 3 (30:56):
know.
Yeah, we don't think you're adepraved sex dungeon lunatic.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
We're sorry, unless it's what you're into, yeah, no
shame but we're sorry, we don'tkink shame here, unless it's
feet or horses, fucking hellsorry.

Speaker 3 (31:15):
We're sorry, batman please don't kill us in the
night but also consider givingCatwoman a little something you
know like she deserves it.
Return the favor.
Return the favor that's allwe're saying.
Hey, uh, dina, huh uh.
Would you say that you're atease?

Speaker 4 (31:38):
Take out the pickle.
Shout out, Shannon.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
Sing Pickle be praised.
Why don't you give the audiencea little taste of the Batmobile
, a little you know?

Speaker 6 (31:50):
Oh no.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
I can feel you in my ear.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
I can't unhear that sound.
Sean, that's a good one.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
Picture it as Jar Jar Binks just eating something.

Speaker 4 (32:07):
Ew.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
Too far, we went too far.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
Give him the Jar Jar tongue.
Dina.
Tell the folks what we have instore.

Speaker 4 (32:18):
Today we're going to talk about the fist fight at
work.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
Oh, that's the one.
I'm excited for that one.
I'm looking forward to it, sean, it's time to bring back a game
.
I think we're going to playthis for the first time ever, so
maybe it's not really bringingit back.
What are we playing?

Speaker 1 (32:38):
We're going play daniel's favorite game.
No, I'm kidding, it's dina'sfavorite game, the word
association game.
Uh, basically, I'm gonna say aword, daniel's gonna respond to
the word, dina's gonna respondto daniel's word and we're just
gonna go back and forth until itinevitably breaks down and
turns into shit and I do a greatjob at this game.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
I've never misunderstood how this game
works for three years.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
It's fine no, no, not at all um directly into the
fourth year I would love to likesit in and see a psychologist
analyze you, dude Good luck, allright.
How has he lived this long Are?

Speaker 6 (33:21):
you guys ready to associate words?
I'm always ready, actually, youknow, what.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
I'm going to start with Daniel in the first one,
and then the next one I'll startwith Dina.
That way can we flip back andforth.

Speaker 3 (33:29):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
Okay, Daniel, the first word is serendipity.
Balls.

Speaker 4 (33:39):
Letterman Jacket Riverdale.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
Hamburgers.

Speaker 5 (33:49):
Bob.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
What I need to go on a mind map here, Dina.
How, oh god there's.

Speaker 4 (33:59):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (34:02):
he doesn't understand how you got bob from hamburgers
, so let's let's give him that'sgoing to journey really quick.

Speaker 4 (34:07):
There's no mind map, it's just bob's burgers.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Yeah, dumb ass that's like the stupid the quickest
association.
What Bob.
So here's the thing Daniel, tothis day, still thinks that
we're building a story by addingwords to a sentence.
That's not how this game works.
You're associating words withother words.
He's thought Letterman jacket,because that's the next word in

(34:32):
the sentence.
No, you're just associatingwords with other words.

Speaker 4 (34:36):
Oh, I meant Letterman , the person.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
David Letterman what.

Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, I don't know.
Right, but Letterman jacket isa thing so like in his head he
was building it, okay, but if Ihear, yeah, he wasn't like the
but if I hear Letterman, thething I associate with the
Letterman is a jacket.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
That's not what you did there.
That's not what you did there.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
How did you get to David Letterman?
I don't know.
I just said the first thingthat came into my head.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
That's why she likes this game, because it's often
just random shit.

Speaker 4 (35:07):
I don't have to filter anything.
Yeah, I'm with you, all right.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
All right, exactly Okay.

Speaker 3 (35:10):
I lost that round.
Okay, that round.
Okay, dina.
The next word is cacophonypills, drugs, meth, pipe, uh

(35:32):
horse, oh shit.
Yeah, that's a loss for you.
You're making us drink, that's,that's.
I'm sorry that brings us one toone.
I'm doing great this time.

Speaker 4 (35:38):
I was thinking of.
I was thinking of New Girl,where he wanted to smoke a pipe
and he was like it smells like Iwant to buy a blank.
Yes, yes, I love that episode.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
His office smells like rich mahogany and leather.
And about seeing a man, about ablank.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I'mwith you on it.
Tina, you're way smarter than Iam.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Yeah, sorry, go on.
I need to save some of thesewords for weird definitions,
because that was a fun game, bythe way, and we're bringing it
back for sure, the one with theFliberty Jibbits.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
Oh, my God fuck the Fliberty Jibbits gibbets.
Oh my god fuck the flibbertigibbets.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
That was some bullshit um daniel your word is
quintessential jar jar binksanakin jedi um light dark stars.

Speaker 4 (36:36):
Um light Dark Stars.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
Fuck, all right, we're calling it there.
You guys are actually volleyingpretty well right now, which is
unusual.
This is weird.
It's honestly unsettling.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
It's because we're like, we're ready to be in
person.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
Yeah, this is what happened is increasing our
chemistry right now.
Um, dina, dina, I'm gonna hugyou in front of your husband and
it's gonna change your life,god damn.
Oh, my god, sorry, sorry, tim'sa real cuck, I guess.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
No, Tim is not gonna be at all intimidated by that
hug.

Speaker 2 (37:23):
He's gonna be like oh , is this like someone you
barely know from work.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
Is this a workplace?

Speaker 3 (37:29):
acquaintance.

Speaker 6 (37:31):
Okay, sorry.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
Your word is Zephyr.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
Hills.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
Water, oh shark.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
Baby shark, dad, mom Hospital.

Speaker 4 (37:54):
Sexy.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
Gown Sexy, gown Easy access Butt.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Okay, I'm calling that one.
That took a weird spiral outand it was only going to get
worse.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
That was my brain overloaded with too many things
to say about the butt at thatpoint.

Speaker 4 (38:19):
That's the best part of the game.

Speaker 3 (38:22):
Sean, I'm going to kick this one old school real
quick just because, even thoughit doesn't count anymore, I
suggest you do your lady in thebutt.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
I tried it once.

Speaker 4 (38:32):
Oh, the water boy.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
No, it's the ladies man.
Also a Saturday Night Livesketch, but finish it.
I tried it once in college.
I did not enjoy it.
I think that's the quote.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
It's been probably 20 years since I've seen that
movie.
Tim Meadows.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
Shout out.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
I love that you still get our references from 20
years ago.
Buddy, sorry, we got time forone more yeah, we're gonna do
one more word each all right,let's do it.
Let's do it.
Daniel, okay, your final word,daniel is melancholy in the
infinite sadness it's one word.

Speaker 4 (39:15):
He's trying to make a sentence that's the in the
infinite sadness.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
It's one word he's trying to make a sentence.
That's the title of a smashingpumpkins album that's what I
associated.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
I don't know what you want from me so his associated
word is infinite yes, there wego infinite, sorry, continue
dread not rope there we goInfinite, sorry, continue Dread
Knot.
Rope Dorian.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
Gray.

Speaker 3 (39:46):
Red.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
Panty.
How dare you drop the panty toDina?

Speaker 3 (39:53):
Tap out.
That's a win for the good guys.
I haven't saved that one for agood moment.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
Oh my god, okay, dina , let's do one more.
Let's redeem ourselves here.
Okay, Dina, your final word islabyrinth.

Speaker 4 (40:17):
Horse.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
Shower Can't filter it.
Can't filter it, man, yeahshower.

Speaker 4 (40:28):
Oh loofah.

Speaker 3 (40:31):
Soapy.

Speaker 4 (40:33):
Prison.

Speaker 3 (40:36):
Fuck you, tina.
Sorry, we are not condoningDaniel, anything with the soap
everybody.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
This has been word.
Association game.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
So I won that.
I won that game, right, Sean,is that?
Is that what we're?

Speaker 1 (40:53):
saying no, I award Dina 27,000 points.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
Yeah, she beat me pretty handily.
I got a couple rounds this time, which, after three years, is
better than I've been doing,because it's usually a clean
sweep.
All right, guys, dina, time toput on our serious author hat,
because we're gonna have alittle bit of a discussion,
because dina's been having avery exciting time.

(41:17):
Um, we're gonna be talkingabout different ways to market
your book, uh, especially whenit comes to pricing and price
point.
Uh, dina, give us a littlebackstory before we get into
this discussion.
Um, tell us about what's goingon the sale that you've seen and
the results that you've seen sofar, and then we're going to
talk about it yeah, so um,actually becca, um previous

(41:38):
guest of the show, um, had herbook put on one of the stuff
your kindle days.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
Sorry, um, um, and she got like a crazy amount of
downloads for the stuff yourkindle day.
I I feel like she said like shehad like 40 000 or something,
but I don't remember so I couldbe misquoting um, and she got me
into this.
Uh, the stuff your kindle daygroup on facebook and um, we

(42:09):
today as of this recording.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
Sorry, one second, just to be clear.
This group is specifically, Ibelieve, about romance authors.
Is that right?

Speaker 4 (42:16):
Yeah, this group is specifically the one for romance
authors, and she got me intothe group and today, as of this
recording right now is theStuffier e-reader day for
romance authors, and it's beenkiller.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
And so what have you seen so far with your results?
Because when you went in to dothis and you joined this group,
I I think you kind of temperedyour expectations a little bit,
am I right?

Speaker 4 (42:40):
yeah.
So I kind of figured my bookwould kind of get ignored.
Um, just because I don't thinkthat my specific book and I'm
not saying this like as anegative thing for myself I
think that my book is very nicheand I didn't expect a wide net
or to attract very big of anaudience.

(43:01):
I'm wondering how many peopleare going to be disappointed
when they leave reviews.
Oh, stop, no, no, no, I don'tmean that like in a negative way
.
Like my book for what it is isa good book.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yeah, but I think that people come into romance
expecting something differentthan what I deliver um, I mean
because yours has a lot of heart, it has a lot of emotion, it's
more than just the, the romance.
There's a lot of I don't writesmut or anything so yeah, I mean
listen a little hot there,especially when they start
projecting images into eachother's minds, but we'll save
that for the book.
Um, but what results have youseen so far?

(43:34):
So what, what?
So when you, you join thisgroup and it's the stuff, your
kindle day and you set yourprice to zero dollars, giving
this book away, right yeah.

Speaker 4 (43:43):
So you set your price to zero dollars.
You price match all of yourother retailers, so everywhere
your ebook is free for the day.
I did a little bit longer, Idid like a couple days before,
and then tomorrow I'm gonna umturn it off so that it's back to
like regular price, um, but uh,it's the one day that you
advertise.
You don't advertise outside ofthis day.

(44:04):
Everybody sends out their umnews, what isber email
newsletter, your newsletters,and so it's like mass reach.
So the idea is that so manypeople are talking about this
one site to get the list fromthat.
Now you have so many peopleflocking to it and everybody
gets like way more reach.

(44:26):
So like you get that person'snewsletter reach and that
person's social media reach andyou can like collect a whole
bunch more people.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
Basically, and what numbers have you seen so far as
of today, this part of therecording?

Speaker 4 (44:39):
So, as of right now, I have 8,836 downloads.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
Holy shnikes, you are almost at the 10K mark.
Oh my God yeah, you are almostat the 10K mark.
Oh my God yeah.

Speaker 4 (44:51):
So last I checked I was number 113 in the Kindle
store overall, you almost brokethe top 100?
.
Yeah, for free books Still.
And then I made it to numbertwo for teen paranormal
romantasy and four and six formy other categories, for like

(45:11):
wholesome romance or somethinglike that and the idea is basic.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
Sorry, I was gonna say for perspective um, up to
this point, through normal sales.
We're not just talking aboutsales, but like in general, do
you want to like ballpark?
What your downloads were beforethis?

Speaker 4 (45:26):
so prior to this, like from the life of my book,
prior to this, like from thelife of my book to the two or
three days ago, I had only soldlike 230 something copies of
Nothing Special overall, likeover every platform, and now
I've got the 8000 plus downloads.
So that's, and like the thingis you have to kind of temper it

(45:47):
a little bit though, becausenot everybody's going to read
that.
Some of these people are justgrabbing the free book because
it's free, yeah.
So you've got a small percentageof that that are going to read
it.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
And then an even smaller percentage that will
leave a review.
Yeah, I was going to say.
And authors are notorious forhaving just giant TBRs, yeah,
yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:05):
So like I'm not expecting a ton of reviews, I
would expect a handful.
Um, I, I was gauging probablylike five percent.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
yeah, maybe a little lower, but I mean, even so, even
that's so crazy yeah,considering how hard it is get
reviews and how hard it is toget just any type of traction, I
mean that's the hardest thingwhen you're on the indie or
small publisher scale is isfinding the reach is just
getting it out there.
You know, we've talked a lotabout how hard it is to because
there's so much marketsaturation and especially in the

(46:37):
community there's a badreputation because a lot of
people don't do the same qualitycontrol as other groups.
So just getting reach is one ofthe hardest things.
And if you get out of 8,000downloads, if you get even
another 20 reviews, I meanthat's massive for you, right?

Speaker 4 (46:54):
Yeah, so I had only had 51 reviews on Goodreads so
far, 28 reviews on Amazon.
And another thing that I amkind of like I did it
specifically for this because Iknew I was going to have like a
wider net for today.
So we did what's called areader magnet in the back of

(47:15):
nothing special.
So we put in um the firstchapter or something special in
the back of the first book sothat people will then be
prompted something too specialto something too special, um, so
that people will be prompted topre-order the second book.
So I think that that's a bigreason why people would do this

(47:35):
specifically If you have aseries, give the first one away
for free, get people attachedand addicted to it, and then
they pre-order.
So I think I'm going to do thisagain when I have book three
coming out, and I'll give bookone away for free again, and
then they'll be able to buy booktwo and then preorder book
three.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
And one of the things I've actually seen otherwise
and I have no idea about themarket on it, but like every so
often this is on like the audiobook side of things is that I
will see that like there will begiveaways of, you know, a book
somewhere in the middle of aseries, so like, let's say, in
an, an eight book series, maybethey'll give away book three, or
it'll be like two dollars or adollar and and it's almost like
a genius logic where you're like, okay, book three is really

(48:18):
cheap and the series soundsintriguing, so maybe I'll pick
up one and two, because Ialready got three set up, you
know yeah, I have seen that andI get why people do it.

Speaker 4 (48:29):
I can't get out of my own way for those, though,
because, like I'm a cheap assand I don't want to buy book one
and two and three just becausefour was free, Like so I get
stuck in my own rut therebecause I'm very cheap.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
And that's fair.
I mean, and that's what I'msaying.
You know, everyone's justtrying to kind of figure out the
marketing side of things, andit is a tough one.

Speaker 4 (48:56):
But so, just to be clear, this is something that
happens once a year, right likeI know that a lot of people do
sales twice a year.
Okay, so twice a year thing,yeah, but in this particular
instance, this group is doingsomething new this year, so I
won't be able to participate inthe next um, the next one that's
coming up at the end of theyear.
So they limited it to athousand, this time for the
first half of the year, yeah,and then everybody can
participate.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
Next one and that's amazing and and I've heard that
maybe not through this specificgroup, but they do this for
other genres as well.

Speaker 4 (49:19):
Right, yeah, yeah.
So there's like a ton of thesegroups out there.
You just got to find like thebig one with the most uh, reach
and um there's.
This group is, I think, one ofthe main original ones yeah but
I don't know for sure, andthey're starting out like
subgroups, so that'll besomething that I'll look into

(49:40):
for friends yeah, and so maybewe'll post this.

Speaker 3 (49:44):
well, maybe we'll do an update on a future episode of
don't make it weird and kind ofgive you some updates for other
genres, um, that might be doingdeals like this, because maybe,
just as a consumer, you want toget in on this.
Or you know we have a lot ofauthors here that are part of
the community and you know,finding the one that's right for
you is a great thing, causelisten, man, there's so many
good books in this indie writingcommunity.
If you followed our podcast,you know that there is just

(50:05):
hidden gems left and right, soyou know, hopefully, that this
type of thing we see dividends.
So I think that's somethingwe'll definitely be checking
back with as the year goes on tosee what this did for your book
, kind of on a long-term thing.

Speaker 4 (50:17):
Does that sound good to you?
Yeah, I think that that's agood idea.
I'm going to monitor it to seeif it kicks up my reviews.
It for sure got me on thealgorithm.
And so the Amazon real quick.
The Amazon algorithm is likeyou have to have 25 reviews to
be recommended for like you readthis, so this is a similar
thing and then you have to have50 reviews to just be pushed out

(50:40):
to like main ads.
So I'm anxious to see if it'llgive me an uptick in reviews so
that it will continue to driveme on the algorithm.
I know right now I am driven onthe algorithm because I made it
to the top 100 in severaldifferent categories, so I'm
hoping to keep getting pushedand then tomorrow people
actually continue to buy.
So we'll see.

Speaker 3 (51:00):
I love it, I can't wait to keep that one going and
to just check back in and seehow it goes, and then for
nothing else.
The final thought I would haveis that, as you kind of look for
agenting you know gettingagented in the future uh, you
can take that screenshot and sayhey, listen, look at my book,
it looks awesome yeah so looksgood on the resume, so to speak.
so, guys, we're gonna take offthose serious author hats and

(51:21):
get back to what the people arereally here for, which is
salacious dina stories, because,you see, we're all about
storytelling here, and everyweek we aim to share an
entertaining tale.
So, without further ado, it'sStorytime with Dinosaurus.

Speaker 4 (51:40):
Man, I'm so mad at y'all for picking this stupid
fucking story.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
Oh no, dina, what have you done?
Did you Ken's dick us again?
Did you Ken's dick us again,fucking not.

Speaker 4 (51:50):
Ken's dick?
I don't know so um, a whileback I was like I think I was 20
, 21, I don't know.
I worked at an appliance center.
It was a small little shop,family run.
My mom worked there and, um,she got me a job part-time
because I was like in betweensemesters at school and all

(52:15):
families have their drama.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
But you know, italian families for sure have their
drama A lot of hand gesturing inthose Italian family dramas.
A lot of hand gesturing, a lotof hand gesturing.

Speaker 4 (52:25):
So there had been a lot of tension between I don't
remember their relationships.
This is such a small shortperiod of time in my life.
I think it was between twobrothers.
It might have been father andson.
No, no, no, Because he was anin-law and I don't know.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Anyway, it's two men, they were related.
Two homies Might be dating andrelated.
Roll tide Roll tide.

Speaker 4 (52:52):
They had had problems with this particular guy.
Give me a name.

Speaker 3 (52:57):
That would be Fuck.
That's a great one.
Good job.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
That's a great one, sean they had had problems with
Raphael for a while and he'sjust an angry dude.
Yeah, he's an angry Italiandude.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
Not a party guy.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
So he got pissed off.
He got pissed off because hedidn't want to go to some job or
something stupid, and he calledthe owner, the dad or brother,
I don't remember.
The dad will call him.
What was his name?
Daniel?

Speaker 3 (53:32):
That'd be Michelangelo.

Speaker 4 (53:34):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (53:35):
Michelangelo.
Okay, so he called Michelangeloand he was yelling at him over
the phone.
And the woman that my mom and Iwere friends with in the office
, she was married into thefamily, she told us she was like
oh great they're gonna get intoan argument again Like here we
go, raphael is such a problem.
And a little while later,raphael storms into this little

(53:59):
tiny appliance center and hestarts screaming for
Michelangelo to get his ass outhere.
Right now he hates this so much, yeah, he'd eat this so much.
And he, michelangelo, comes outof the back warehouse in the
repair shop and he's like whatthe fuck do you want?

(54:19):
Like coming in hot with thatspicy Italian attitude?
it's a spicy meatball spicymeatball and, um, raphael grabs
a hammer from the desk that wasour friend's desk.
I'm sitting in, like I'm likedivided by like a half wall at

(54:39):
my desk, and then like there'sthe two, my mom and then our
friend yeah, and they're in theopen and he grabs a hammer from
a desk and he starts chargingtowards Michelangelo, swinging,
and my mom starts shouting.
She's like hysterical.
She's like oh my God, stop it.

(54:59):
I'm like the friend is evenworse.
She's like dramatic Italian aswell.
I'm like, oh my God, stopfighting.
And I'm like I didn't see whathappened.
I was sitting at my desk typingand I look up and I just see
these guys like wrestling andthis one dude like just trying
to bash him in the head with ahammer.
He misses every fucking time.
How do you miss?

(55:20):
a head with a hammer from closerange.
To be fair, one guy was reallytall and one guy was really
short and like it just like theanatomy wasn't working out.
So they just wound up tacklingeach other and he was like just
trying to get the hammer and itwas like too dodgy.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
Too dodgy with the hammer, got it yeah.

Speaker 4 (55:35):
Yeah, so our friend goes.
Oh my God, somebody call 911.
And I stood up from my desk andI said nah, fuck that.
And I charged them both andlike they had separated at one,
point why Gina?
Because charge them both andlike they had separated at one
point, because you're trying tolike swing the hammer, because I
get involved in everybody'sshit.
That's why.
Why would you charge in?

(55:56):
I like because I could, I don'tknow, it was instinct it's
America.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
Freedom.
I don't do fight or flight.
Like I fight, I don't flight sothere's just one F in your
repertoire yeah, it's just fightor fight so.

Speaker 4 (56:11):
I step in in the middle of them and I'm like
knock it the fuck off right now.
And he like grabs and he likehas the hammer and he's like
going in for a swing.
And then like I'm there and I'mlike shut the fuck down right
fucking now.
And I don't think I had evercursed in front of my mom before
at this point.
So immediately the room wentquiet.
This is the first time you'vecursed on our show.

Speaker 3 (56:33):
So yeah, it was a lot of curse yeah for sure.

Speaker 4 (56:36):
Like everybody pauses and like I'm just standing
there with my phone because Iwas going to call 911.
And then everybody's quiet, andthen I just hear like sobbing
from the two women in thebackground and then the guys,
and then like I guess I hadpressed 9-1-1 already but I
didn't like realize that I didand you just hear 9-1-1.
What's your emergency?

(56:56):
but there's a bunch of fuckingitalians rafael runs because he
doesn't want to get arrestedagain.
Wait, that one was rafael right, the guy that, yeah, he doesn't
want to get arrested again.
Yeah, he doesn't want to getarrested again.
Yeah, he doesn't want to getarrested again, so he runs and
he books it, and then we justsit there and wait for the cops.

Speaker 6 (57:16):
I can't go back to jail.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
Can't do it.
I ain't going back coppers yeahthat was beautiful.
It's not even really a fistfight, it's a hammer fight.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
We weren't Ken's dicks, yeah, like that was, that
was an interesting story yeah Ithought that there was going to
be no fight at all and uh,obviously there was.
There was something else youwanted to tell today, and you
know that's the nature of thesechoose your adventure situations
we believe in freedom we giveour audience the ability to
choose their own adventure yeahwhich is what we're going to do

(57:49):
right now?

Speaker 3 (57:50):
yeah and uh.
So, dina, what, what, what canthe folks uh try to decide
between next week bud?

Speaker 4 (57:56):
not my memoir, that's for sure.
That's what I had just openedum, so next time you can choose
um fourth of july gone wronguh-huh the carjacker marca or
fistfight at a Funeral.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
All right, I think the obvious of the most boring
sounding title is an obvious one.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
But, sean, take us through your thoughts here, bud.
Well, I feel like this poll isgoing to go live right around
4th of July.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
Yeah, and seasonal, you know, tis the season type of
situation.
I feel like that's going to bethe leader.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
And it's also the most boring sounding one.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
So like that also means it's probably a banger for
me personally Um, definitelynot voting for another fistfight
story back to back.
So, um, I'd probably vote for4th of July gone wrong.
I fistfight story back to back,so, um, I'd probably vote for
fourth of july gone wrong.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
I mean, I want to see someone's hand get blown off,
or something by a fuckingfirecracker, and and and that's
a great call I mean carjacking.
Probably not as fun, um, butyeah and oh is this the one
where you car jack?

Speaker 1 (59:02):
yeah, I assume dina is the one who stole the car in
that story so also a good.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
A good.
You know it's a banger, it's abanger.
But uh, you know what?
Speaking of banging, last weekon don't make it weird we did a
cringy copulation from a hugoaward nominated book by the
legendary chuck tingle and we'vejust been getting just phone
calls like crazy, really chucktingle yeah, it definitely was

(59:31):
chuck tingle yeah she turns offher earbuds during this segment,
you guys I mean, you guys havebeen writing in so many letters
to sean.
I mean it's been crazy thefeedback we've gotten about this
story.
It was so overwhelming that wedecided to do part two for you,
with Sean reading, and he'sgoing to do it in Val Venus

(59:59):
voice for you guys.
Sean, check those DMS.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
But am I just going right into it?
Yeah, we're just doing this.

Speaker 4 (01:00:09):
That's what she said.
Oh, right into it.
Yeah, we're just doing this,that's what she said.

Speaker 6 (01:00:19):
Fuck me harder, I scream.
Use that tight ass with yourbig raptor, dick Kick slams me
as hard as he can onto his rod,the muscles in his scaled arms
rippling with every movement.
You've been a very badastronaut, orion tells me, his

(01:00:40):
raptor, face pressed hardagainst mine as we pumped
together in sweaty unison.
So you're gonna take myJurassic load up your asshole
and you're gonna like it.
Yes, sir, I tell him 10 out of10.

Speaker 3 (01:01:01):
No notes Dina thoughts.

Speaker 4 (01:01:06):
Jurassic load was clever.
Oh no, my ring light fell Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
That's fair.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Oh no.

Speaker 3 (01:01:14):
Dimming the lights.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
You know, yeah, the jurassic load I thought was a uh
inspired piece of literary uhjurassic, load up your asshole,
up your jurass hole would havebeen a better move there, I
think up your ass, up yourcretaceous.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
I like it.
Yeah, you know what we're gonnawrite to chuck.
Sean, can you get chuck tingleon the phone please?
Yeah, let me just do that realquick.
Thanks, buddy.
Uh, chuck, you'll, you'll,you'll.
You'll.
Just convey the message to him,sean, I trust you yeah, I will
add it to the list love you forinfinity there we go.
You're doing so good, dina.
Dina, I love your halo.

(01:01:58):
You're looking so good rightnow.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
This is just.
Did you break the tripod foryour light?
Is that why you're holding it?

Speaker 4 (01:02:07):
no, I'll have to.
I'll send you a picture of whatmy setup looked like there's no
way I'm going to get that back.

Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
It's good you got the afraid of the dark thing going
right now, she told me she's gota fucking radiator or some type
of heater or cooler.

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
She uses a swamp cooler in her office.

Speaker 3 (01:02:22):
There's no way you need a heater in Florida.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
I don't know.
It's not a stable setup.

Speaker 4 (01:02:34):
You can post this in the episode if you want to.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Okay, yeah, yeah we'll leave it in there.
But you know what, guys, if youwant to be part of these
episodes, if you want to justget in on this freaking madness
is beauty you want, leave us avoicemail.
Uh, you know, we already talkedto batman and, uh, maybe we
need to talk to some moresuperheroes.
So if you know some superheroes, have us call.
Have them call in at three,four, seven, sixty nine.
Weird, that's three four, seven, six, nine, nine.

Speaker 1 (01:02:57):
Three four, seven three and be patient, because
our friend levi has left us awealth of voicemails that we
will never get through.

Speaker 3 (01:03:06):
So you, know, so each week, week will be maybe Levi
or someone else.
It could be anyone.

Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
We could alternate.
We could probably alternate.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Yeah, just or just have them run at the same time.
Sean, I'm concerned.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
Just doing two voicemails.
Dina is losing her mind rightnow.

Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
For our audio only listeners.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
That sip of hard tea.
Really fucked with her.
Yeah, it's fucking embarrassingright now.

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
Dina, it's fucking embarrassing.

Speaker 4 (01:03:34):
Just buy me a drink in person and see what really
happens.
I don't know.
Just buy me a drink, marilyn.

Speaker 5 (01:03:42):
I'm poor, help me, I'm poor.

Speaker 4 (01:03:44):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:03:46):
This is not cheap.

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
You guys Buy us drinks, it's the only way we can
afford to go on this trip.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
Give us coupons for the Carl's Jr.

Speaker 4 (01:03:56):
No, I did break it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Oh, you did break it Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
Okay, that's our cue, dina, where can the folks find
you?

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
You can find me on Twitter at DinosaurusD.
That's D like D D.

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
Or you can find me on threads at dinosaurusdmiw,
dinosaurusdmiw Big D, rightthere as well.

Speaker 3 (01:04:21):
Yeah, you can find me on Twitter at danqwritesthing.
That's danqwritesthing singular.
It's donkalicious and I thinkI'm on threads at like Daniel
Quigley.
Author.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
I think that's.
Yeah, it's something reallylike that.
They should have really limitedthe number of letters so you
can only write somethingsingular yeah, that that should
have been the move right there.

Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
I'll have to consider changing that, um, but uh sean
where can the folks find you bud?

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
Tina is now our guardian angel.
Yeah, I got you Hela Hela.
You can find me on xcom AtChase Holdu.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
And what you having for dinner tonight, bud.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
Oh I Well, on Sunday, which was Father's Day, this
will be a month from now.
Last Sunday was Father's Day,thank you.
I made some beautiful prime NewYork strip steaks and there was
one left.

Speaker 4 (01:05:16):
You had to cook on Father's Day I like to cook.
Tina, you're going to get toeat his food.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
Listen.
I got to cook $40 steaks.
They were fucking great.
There was one left over and Idecided to make killer steak
sandwiches tonight that areactually in the oven staying
warm right now.

Speaker 4 (01:05:35):
So so wait, before we go, I have to explain my
reference because I just needyou guys to hate this as much as
I do.
So there's this couple ontiktok that, um, they're
everybody hates the husband like, and they're convinced that
they hate each other oh, youguys know them yeah yeah.
So, um, for Father's Day theylike put out a podcast episode

(01:05:55):
or whatever and they were likewe're not celebrating Father's
Day because it's too close toMatt's birthday.
And last year Abby was pregnanton Father's like eight or nine
months pregnant on Father's Dayit happened to fall on Matt's
birthday and he was reallydisappointed because he had to
grill on Father's Day, which wasalso his birthday.
So they're postponing Father'sDay celebration for three months

(01:06:19):
so that he gets both days.
Because that's what they hadplanned.
And she was pregnant and didn'twant to cook, and they had just
gotten back from their babymoonthat same day and had family
over that same day.
So she was like, yeah, grillhamburgers.
Everybody's coming over, we'recelebrating, and he got mad

(01:06:40):
about it.
So they're postponing thecelebration for three months.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
See, I assumed that he would have just made her do
it, whether she was pregnant ornot.

Speaker 5 (01:06:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:06:47):
Honestly same.

Speaker 1 (01:06:52):
If we've been in the cult, this would have never
happened.

Speaker 4 (01:06:55):
Yeah, the clips that I've seen, I'm like, oh yeah,
that's bad.
So yeah, that's what I wasreferencing about that's big
yikes.

Speaker 3 (01:06:59):
But no, sean gets off in the tina.

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
You get to eat sean's food I'm so excited I'm gonna
have all the onions too I'mgonna I'm gonna ask you all what
you want to eat ahead of timeand curate a menu okay oh, we
get custom menus.

Speaker 6 (01:07:13):
Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 (01:07:14):
He does this.
He did this for my wife.
He fucking hand battered.
What was it?

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
shrimp yeah, she wanted fried shrimp.
I was barbecuing.
Okay, daniel wanted ribs andbeans and cornbread or something
.
If I remember correct, yeah,something like that yeah, and
then I was like is thereanything else?
And then he's like miriam wantsfried shrimp and I'm like, well
, that's not barbecued, uh, butI'll do it.

(01:07:39):
So I I barbecued shrimp and Ifried shrimp, and I made the
ribs and I made the beans.
Yeah, it was, uh, it was apretty epic yeah, I'm so excited
about this.

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
I, I can't wait, uh can not wait.
So, guys, uh, hopefully we'llsee you guys at shocker con.
Check out nothing special,download it if you haven't
downloaded, even though salewill be long gone by the time
you guys see this episode, butyou guys should still check it
out because, uh, somethingspecial is coming out and you
want to be prepped for it, man,uh.
So, guys, that's it, we are outof here.
J is coming out and you want tobe prepped for it, man.

(01:08:12):
So, guys, that's it, we are outof here.
Jazzy.

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
Don't make it weird With Daniel Quigley, dinosaurus
and Sean Holden, produced andedited by me.
Sean Holden Theme song byAmaria, incidental music and
sound effects provided by VoiceMod, as well as the YouTube
Audio Library.
You can rate and review thisshow on Spotify, apple Podcasts,
goodpods and wherever else youdownload your podcasts.

(01:08:43):
Got a question for Daniel orDina?
Call the Don't Make it Weirdhotline at 347-69-WEIRD.
That's 347-699-3473.
And leave us a message.
It could be featured on afuture episode and if you
haven't already, pleasesubscribe to Don't Make it Weird
on YouTube for the videopresentation or on your favorite

(01:09:03):
podcast app for the audio onlyversion of the show.
Thank you so much and we loveyou.