Don't Quote Me ... It's Probably Nothing
A conspiracy theory podcast for the highly curious and slightly high. Ever find yourself spiraling down a rabbit hole at 2 a.m., questioning pigeons, the calendar, or why your microwave feels off? Same. Don’t Quote Me... It’s Probably Nothing is a solo deep-dive into the internet’s weirdest theories, half-baked history, and the kind of “wait, but what if?” moments that make you side-eye reality. Sometimes there’s a guest. Most of the time, it’s just me, some weed, and way too many tabs open ... in my brain and on my computer. I’m not a journalist. I’m not an expert. I just have Wi-Fi, weed, and more questions than answers. Is it true? Who knows. Don’t quote me… It’s probably nothing.
Episodes
Episode 13 – The Unlucky Episode
Some say 13 is just a number. Others say it’s cursed. In this week’s special “unlucky episode,” we lean all the way in.
From Loki crashing a dinner in Valhalla, to presidents daring fate in the 13 Club, to haunted diamonds, demonic wine cabinets, and James Dean’s doomed Porsche, this episode is a sampler platter of all things cursed and chaotic.
We’ll also dig into creepy conspiracies lik...
Episode 12 – Vatican Secrets: Lost Gospels, Hidden Vaults & Papal Mysteries
What is the Vatican hiding? Is it just dusty paperwork and centuries of church memos … or are there secret gospels, forbidden treasures, and enough scandal to make The Da Vinci Code look like a children’s book?
In this episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, I dive headfirst into the conspiracies and mysteries of the Vatican. We’ll...
Episode 11 – Royal Family Conspiracies: Diana, Reptilians & Scandals in the Crown
From Princess Diana’s mysterious death (or escape?), to Prince Andrew’s Pizza Express alibi, to theories that Queen Elizabeth was secretly a shape-shifting reptilian — the British monarchy has been fueling conspiracies for centuries.
In this episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, I dive headfirst into the chaos:
- Diana’s d...
Episode 10: The Grateful Dead: Psychedelics, Spies, and Strange Theories
What if the Grateful Dead weren’t just a band? What if the tie-dye, the endless jams, and the devoted Deadhead culture were all tangled up with CIA experiments, LSD-fueled “Acid Tests,” and secret deals with the Hells Angels?
In this episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, Kelli peels back the psychedelic curtain on one of the most belove...
Episode 9: Quantum Immortality & Near-Death Glitches
What if you never actually die? What if, in every near-death moment, your consciousness just… slides into another timeline where you survive?
In this episode, we’re diving into the mind-bending theory of quantum immortality — exploring how the “many worlds” interpretation of physics might explain those wild near-death experiences and reality glitches people swear ...
Get ready to step behind the curtain of the happiest place on earth and dive into some of the wildest Disney conspiracy theories out there! From rumors of Walt Disney being cryogenically frozen (spoiler alert: he wasn't) to hidden adult jokes sneaking into your favorite childhood classics, and even whispers about secret illuminati symbols scattered throughout the parks ... this episode covers it all.
I love Disney...
Episode 7: Mysteries in the Mountains - Tales of Appalachian Lore
Step into the misty mountains and winding hollers of Appalachia, where legends come alive and the line between myth and reality blurs. In this episode, we dive deep into the rich tapestry of Appalachian folklore, from the eerie winged Mothman and mysterious banshees to haunted cabins and mountain spirits that have whispered through generations.
Discover ...
Step back into the wild, weird world of the 1980s.
Satanic Panic: when fear, hysteria, and rumors of secret satanic cults rocked America's daycares and living rooms. From daycare drama to media madness, this episode dives deep into one of the most bizarre moral panics in recent history. Want to know how panic spread faster than a bad perm?
Tune in to episode 6!
Dive into the wild, mysterious, and sometimes spooky world of Hollywood conspiracies. In this episode, we explore the enduring rumors that Michael Jackson might still be alive, uncover the secret society hand signs and symbolism flashing across Tinseltown, and delve into the eerie tales of cursed films where tragedy and mystery haunt the sets.
Join me as I unpack the legends, separate fact from fiction, and add a litt...
Project Blue Beam — The Ultimate Government Light Show?
What if the sky isn’t just the sky? In this episode, I dive deep into Project Blue Beam — the conspiracy theory that claims the government plans to fake an alien invasion or divine event using advanced holograms and mind control technology.
Join me as I unpack the origins of the theory, the four wild steps of the alleged plan, the real (and imagined) tech behind it...
Episode 3: The Gateway Tapes — Brain Hacking, Astral Travel, and CIA Secrets
Ever wonder what happens when 1980s government tech meets cosmic consciousness? In this episode, we dive deep into the Gateway Experience — a CIA-backed brainwave training program using mysterious cassette tapes designed to unlock altered states of mind, out-of-body experiences, and maybe even time travel.
Join me as we explore the fascinating ...
🎮 Episode 2 – Simulation Theory
What if your life isn’t real? What if that time you put your phone in the fridge was less “oops” and more… code glitch? In this episode, we dive deep into Simulation Theory — the idea that reality might just be one giant cosmic video game. We’re talking matrix-level weirdness, brain-melting philosophy, alien Twitch streamers, and why pigeons might not be trustworthy.
✨ Glitched out?...
What if it's not 2025 ... but actually 1728? In this chaotic kickoff episode, I dive into the Phantom Time Hypothesis. The theory that nearly 300 years of history were totally made up by a bored emperor, a mathy pope, and some extremely sketchy scrolls. We're talking fake calendars, ghost emperors and Charlemagne slander.
Spoiler: It's probably nothing.
Or is it?
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