Dopey 540: ChrisMiss in July - Remembering Chris with Colin and Ted

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This week on Dopey! It's ChrisMiss Time Again - and we remember Chris and think about what we've lost in our latest ChrisMiss episode. We are joined by Ted and Colin—two of Chris’s closest friends—for a long, emotional, laugh filled but ultimately tragic journey through grief, memory, relapse, recovery and death. They recount wild and deeply human stories of Chris: his powerful magnetism,  his “whatevs” persona, and the time he hugged a drunk driver who had just killed someone. Then, we go deep into Chris’s relapse, the shame that may have surrounded it, and the fear of losing connection.

From Mountainside to Katz’s Deli, from a poetry slam to the drunk tank, from legacy to myth to bionic legs traded for heroin—this episode is everything that made Chris unforgettable. PLUS: a classic Dopey voicemail from Tim in Philly involving coke, Cookie, and crackhouse head, and a replay of Episode 71 with Chris. It all ends with the classic version of “Bad Card” and a full-circle Dave and Chris musical outro. Stay strong Dopey Nation, and fucking toodles for Chris.

Opening:
Dave recalls Dave Marshall, the first Dopey community member to die. Dave, Chris, and Dave Marshall once recorded a now-lost episode that ended in a bizarre fight—possibly because Chris was trying to impress Marshall.

Talking Grief:
Dave asks Colin and Ted how they grieve Chris. Colin mentions laughing at dumb things and feeling like Chris is still there. Ted recalls vivid dreams where Chris walks him through his relationship with his wife, like a ghostly Scrooge-style guide. The dream was so powerful he woke up crying.

Dreams of Chris:
Dave shares that Chris is always dead in his dreams, and that he recently had one with both Chris and his mother (also deceased). Chris always knows he’s gone in the dream—making them painful but powerful.

Trend of Death:
The conversation shifts to the changing trends of death in recovery: less overdoses, more suicides, including people they knew.

Settlers of Catan:
Chris’s obsession with the Settlers board game—cheating newbies, logging fake wins on a wooden log, and playing alone while stacking stats. The actual Settlers Log might be lost.

Connection & Community:
Colin reflects on connection as the heart of Dopey and recovery. Chris embodied that connection for many.

Why Did Chris Relapse?
They dive into theories around Chris’s relapse:

He was doing well—finished his master’s, in a stable relationship, BTN job picking up.

Dave wonders if Chris thought the promises of recovery would be better high.

Colin and Ted say Chris might’ve feared losing relationships if he admitted he was using.

Shame and stigma—not about being an addict, but about breaking the recovery identity—were likely massive.

Chris’s Persona:
“Whatevs” was Chris’s favorite line, but everyone agrees—he actually cared a lot. He just didn’t want people to know.

Origin Story:
Chris and Dave met at Mountainside, where Chris became Dave’s “Eskimo”, showing him that 12-step worked.
Chris used to visit Katz’s Deli to impress Dave and his girlfriends.
They texted or talked every single day from 2015 to the day Chris died.

The Fatal Crash Story:
Ted and Chris are en route to a poetry slam when they stumble on a deadly car crash—they are first on scene.

Ted goes into shock.

Chris takes action—calls 911, finds a guy with smashed legs, then chases the drunk driver into the woods.

The driver is blackout drunk, crying, and doesn't know what happened.

Chris hugs the man, tells him he killed someone, and holds him as he cries.

Later, Chris keeps in touch with the man, who is sentenced to 30 years in prison. It was his seventh DUI.

Synchronicity:
A year later, Chris relapsed. Ted and Colin had to call the cops on him.
The same officer from the crash scene showed up to arrest Chris and put him in the drunk tank.

Chris’s Duality:
Dave sums it up: “We’re the same people who kill people. We’re the same people who help people. And we can turn up totally wasted again at the drop of a dime.”

Reco