February 12, 2025 • 36 mins
What if accountability isn't the punishment we've all been led to believe it is? Join us as we chat with Robert Hunt, affectionately known as the "accountability guy" and co-author of "Nobody Cares Until You Do." Robert breaks down common misconceptions, revealing how accountability can actually be a source of empowerment, freedom, and hope. Through his entertaining personal stories, including his quirky talent of playing a spoon on his teeth, Robert shares how taking ownership of our choices allows us to live with intention and avoid the pitfall of victimhood.
In our conversation, we tackle the societal epidemic of neglecting personal accountability. Robert offers a candid look at how everyday excuses, like blaming traffic for tardiness, reflect a widespread victim mentality. By distinguishing between responsibility and true accountability, we delve into the importance of self-reflection on one's purpose and talents. We explore how accountability extends beyond oneself, holding a spiritual significance for those who believe they have a higher calling. This insightful discussion encourages listeners to strive for excellence in their unique roles and to fulfill the responsibilities that come with their talents.
Moving beyond theory, we explore practical steps for embracing accountability and taking action. Robert shares poignant anecdotes of overcoming personal struggles, advocating for drastic measures to eliminate negative influences and embrace change. From personal financial recovery stories to the necessity of self-accountability, he paints accountability as a courageous journey, demanding commitment and the willingness to face discomfort. Encouragement, vulnerability, and community support are highlighted as essential tools in this transformative climb, promising not just personal growth but a deeper, more fulfilling life journey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello everyone.
Hello everyone, thanks againfor joining me on another
episode of the Dorsey Ross Show.
Today we have a special guestwith us.
His name is Robert Hunt.
He is described as theaccountability guy and the
co-author of the book NobodyCares Until you do.
(00:22):
He is a business owner in theDallas-Fort Worth, texas area
and helps leaders remove thethings that keep them from being
their best in the Dallas-FortWorth since 2013, and he brings
(00:45):
that experience and wisdom tohis people to reach their goals.
Robert has been married 25years to his beautiful wife,
kathy, and has two grown adultchildren, also living in Texas.
He is passionate about hisfaith, his purpose as a family
(01:08):
and his quest to help people betheir best.
Robert, thank you so much forcoming on the show today.
Thank you for having meAbsolutely.
When I just saw your email andwhatnot about who you are and
(01:36):
what you do and I was like thisis an interesting guy and topic
that I would like to discuss,because I don't think that we
discuss being accountable to oneanother enough what
accountability is and what doesthat, what does that look like?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
yeah, yeah it is.
It is a misunderstood word, Ithink most of the time we think
of accountability, we think ofyou're in trouble and that's
something you did wrong and I'mgoing to hold you accountable
for it.
It has this punitive tone thatI have found in my own life.
That is not accurate, becausethey're actually the real way we
should talk about.
Accountability is freedom andpower and hope.
(02:09):
And if you really think aboutit, if everything in your life
happens to you, you're justscrewed.
You're just a victim in lifefor everything.
But if, if whatever happens toyou as part of the journey that
directs your next step and youproactively make plans in light
of the journey you're on, youown it.
You own it.
Now, we all know that at the endof the day, god decides
(02:30):
everything that happens in ourlives one way or another.
But if we look at the fact thatwe're driving and we're going
somewhere and we are decidingwhat that looks like, we have
power.
But if you just wait forsomething else to happen to you
and then complain about it, thenyou're just a victim, and I've
lived that way for a long timeas a young man, certainly even
(02:53):
as an adult, raising my kids andthe challenges I went through,
it is easy to just become, inthe knee-jerk reaction mindset,
a whiner.
But God didn't put us here andredeem us and create a plan for
our life for us to sit andcomplain about it the whole time
.
There is something to be done,but we need to be the one who
drive it and not sitting aroundand just responding to it, and
(03:13):
that's the difference between alife that is full of
accountability.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
You know, as my audience knows, I like to open
up my questions with anicebreaker question, and today's
icebreaker question is what'ssomething interesting about you
that most people don't know?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
You know I have such a twisted mind.
I think of all these things inmy free time.
You know, like all theridiculous things that I do,
like I play the spoon on myteeth.
You know I have a.
When I was in high school at atalent show, I there are all
these people doing real talentsand I went out with a plastic
spoon and played it on my teethand it sounds like something you
know, actually musical, umthings that people don't know.
(03:58):
I've been on four televisionshows.
I grew up in SouthernCalifornia and, uh, in Southern
California you can just get on aTV show just walking down the
street.
Someone will say you want to beon a TV show.
I'm like, yeah, sure, and mybeautiful wife was on a couple
different TV shows too, so we'vebeen as a family.
We've probably been on seventelevision shows together as a
family.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Oh wow, Can you name a few of those?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, yeah, when I was really young I was on Family
Feud with Richard Dawson as thehost at the time with my family
.
And then, when I got married tomy first wife, I was on
Newlywed Game.
We came in fourth place, whichis known as last.
That was, I guess, aforeshadowing of the future of
(04:40):
my marriage.
And then we were also on a showcalled Every Second Counts,
which flashed in the pan.
Maybe it was on for a month orso.
It was horrible.
And then later on in life I wason a home remodeling show
called Weekend Warriors, whereyou remodel your home and they
film it.
So we've had our chance to besemi-famous.
(05:01):
Okay, didn't do anything for mylife.
My life's the same.
You know.
It started one way.
It's going to probably end thesame way anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
How do we live a life of real accountability?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, it's not hard, it's intentional but it's not
hard.
And everything in life is achallenge in one way or another.
You know, life is 10% of whathappens to you and 90% of how
you respond to it, and if youwant to have the life that you
really want, you need to beintentional about it, because
(05:38):
otherwise you become a victimand you look at your life from
the lens of a victim.
And so to be intentional, youhave to be able to, first of all
, identify what you want, andwhen you don't have a purpose or
a vision for your life,anything works fine.
But you only know what youdon't want.
You know people can tell youwhat I don't want.
I don't want to be without ajob.
(05:58):
I don't want to have you know,this difficult marriage.
I don't want to have bad kids.
You, this difficult marriage, Idon't want to have bad kids.
Pick your topic.
We know what we don't want.
But to take the time and createthe vision of what you do want,
that takes thoughtfulness, thattakes intentionality.
But once you've done that andyou actually can visualize what
you want your life to be like,then you have a plan to go do
something against it, and wewrite about this in our book
(06:22):
that we fall into four trapsthat we're not really aware of
most of the time, that hold usback from being accountable when
you look at your life and yousay here's what I want my life
to be and here's where I am, andthen you say, well, why am I
here?
I want to be there.
The four things that we tend todo that keep us as a victim is
we blame, we make excuses, wesay we can't, or we wait and
(06:44):
hope.
And I did all those things andI still do them sometimes, and
that's why I have to alwayskeenly be aware of what I'm
doing and how I'm responding.
But it's easy to blame.
We can blame everything ourparents, our bosses, god, the
economy, the government.
Or we can make excuses well, Inever had this, no one told me
and all these things.
They just hold us back.
(07:05):
We can also say I can't, I can'tdo that, that's outside my
comfort zone, which is justanother word for fear.
Or we can just wait and hope itgets better.
Maybe I'll just make minimumpayments on my credit cards for
the next six years and see ifthings work out okay and they
don't, they get worse.
Or maybe I won't go see acounselor because I don't want
to have awkward conversationswith my spouse.
So maybe it'll get better onits own.
(07:26):
It won't, it gets worse.
And so those four things holdus back as victims.
But if at some point in yourlife you realize, look, nobody
cares, nobody cares if you'rebroke, fat, miserable in your
marriage, don't like your job,nobody cares.
We got our own junk to worryabout.
We cannot just spend our timetrying to worry about your junk.
(07:47):
But if you care enough to dosomething about it, then there's
the opportunity to pursue thelife you really want.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
What are the steps to being accountable?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, the first thing you have to do is really take
stock of where you are, and weput an assessment in the book.
It's called our satisfactionassessment, we came up with that
term, and the whole idea isthat, where you are and we put
an assessment in the book.
It's called our satisfactionassessment, we came up with that
term, and the whole idea isthat where you're satisfied,
you'll have more energy in life.
Where you're not satisfied,it's the opportunity to do
something about it.
So the first thing you do isyou take stock of where you're
at, and so you take thesatisfaction assessment and you
(08:19):
rank and rate where things arein your personal and
professional life.
You score them on a scale ofone to 10.
And then you look at that andyou go, okay, well, I'm not
happy with this or this or this.
This one's not so bad, I'll getto it someday, but this one I
don't like.
And once you've declared thatand you've been really, really
honest, then you can figure outa plan to do something about it
(08:39):
and you can be aware of thetimes where you fall into a trap
as a victim where you'd say,well, I can't do anything about
that.
Yes, you can, yes, you can.
For example, let's say you havea job, you really want to pursue
a career doing something.
You want to be a youth minister, you want to be someone who
works at a national park, I mean, whatever you think, something
that doesn't make money.
Youth minister there you go,someone who doesn't make a lot
(09:02):
of money, and so then you decide, okay, I want to do that.
And then you look at your lifeand you go well, how can I
afford to be a youth pastor?
Well, you can't.
It doesn't pay very much inmost cases.
So what do you got to do to bea youth pastor?
You just don't say, well, Ican't, I can't afford it.
No, you say, okay, I got tochange my lifestyle.
And then the argument I can'tcomes up again.
Well, you can't live like that.
(09:22):
Yes, you can.
Look, I know what it's like tohave no money.
I mean no money.
I've been there a few times inmy life where I had no money and
God has been faithful and healways provides in one way or
another.
But we get by.
But you can live on very, verycheap if you want to.
But it's, we don't want to.
So it's, it's.
If you change the word I can'tto, I won't.
(09:47):
And then you look at yourselflike why am I being that way?
Look, if you want to live alife that lets you chase your
passion and purpose, but itdoesn't pay, well, figure out a
way to live cheap.
When we started our journey, weoutlined this in the book.
In 2019, we owed $90,000 indebt, and that did not include
the house or cars, and it was astress point for us.
We argued about it.
(10:07):
It caused stress in our lives,we were angry at God, we were
angry at the world and wedecided at that point we need to
take ownership and change ourlives.
So we did.
We sold our house and wefinally closed escrow in March
of 2020.
When COVID shut down the world,we moved into this little
rental home that we live intoday and it's wonderful and
small and lovely and clean andwe take good care of it and
(10:30):
we're thankful.
But we took all that money fromthe sale of our house and we
paid off all of our debt andstarted over.
So don't say you can't.
You could say you won't or Idon't want to, but if you want
the life you really want andthere's something that's coming
between it are you willing tochange, and that's the steps of
accountability.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
How does accountability play in the role
of people with faith?
We talk about havingaccountability with another man.
If you're a man or a woman,another woman how does faith
play in that role?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I don't know how it is in other religions, but I
think we may be the only one.
Well, I don't know.
So I just I will stop there.
I know that we will beaccountable to God, but there's
no one else in the world thatwe're accountable to, and I know
that's a phrase that seems odd,but in our book we tell you,
you tell you, nobody can holdanyone else accountable.
I cannot be accountable to you,but I can be accountable to
(11:31):
myself and the things that Isaid I was going to do.
You can's the point.
You know you're not holding meaccountable.
It doesn't work that way.
But if I want to be trulyaccountable, I open up the
opportunity for the life that Ireally want.
And those of us who followJesus, we're told very clearly
(11:53):
you will be accountable for thelife you live, period, good or
bad.
You are truly going to beaccountable to God, and that's
not a threat, that's just sayingso.
Since you're accountable, whynot live a life of intentional
living that gets you the resultsyou want?
My results that I want are tolive a life that shows God how
thankful I am that he chose meto be a part of his family and
(12:15):
he redeemed me for all eternity.
As crappy as this world mightbe from time to time, it's
nothing compared to an eternityspent with God, and so I look at
that as okay.
So what do I do with the thinghe gave me?
How am I accountable to him?
Since I am accountable to him,what would that look like?
And that means that I honor himin my marriage, I honor him as
(12:35):
I raise my kids, I honor him atmy work and the things that I do
to serve my community, becauseI am accountable to him, and I
think that's the difference.
So, when it comes to beingaccountable to a man or a woman,
there really isn't any power inthat.
I know we have accountabilitygroups, but I've been in many of
them and people lie.
You know, oh, how's thingsgoing?
(12:56):
It's going great, going great.
And then six months laterthey're finally for divorce and
you're like hey, I thoughtthings were going great, I just
didn't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
No-transcript why are people not accountable?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I don't think they really realize they're not being
accountable.
You know, if I said I had aroom full of people and I said
who's accountable in here,everybody would raise their hand
.
And if I asked, well, who playsa victim role?
Nobody would raise their hand.
But in reality, you play thevictim role all the time.
When you're late for work, whatdo you say oh, traffic was
horrible.
Isn't traffic horrible everyday?
(13:45):
Is that like a brand new thing?
Oh my gosh, all of a suddenthere's traffic outside.
There's traffic all the time.
And if you run out of time youdon't get something done, you
blame well, I got really busy.
You make excuses.
We do it all the time.
These are things that are justplaying us as a victim, and so I
just don't think people havebecome aware of the life that
you've started to live, becauseit's so pervasive everywhere in
(14:07):
the world that when thingsaren't going the way you want it
to go, you just blame, makeexcuses, say you can't, or wait
and hope.
And if you've got a bunch ofdebt, what do you do?
You make minimum payments andyou wait and hope things get
better.
Maybe I'll get a big fat bonusat work this year and that'll be
used to pay off all the debtand you get a big fat bonus at
work.
What do you do?
You go on a vacation.
Well, I can make minimumpayments.
Still, we have just become thismindset of I'm just kicking the
(14:30):
can down the road.
Our whole government owestrillions of dollars.
They're not accountable,they're modeling it.
We, as parents, say we're goingto do something and we don't.
We're not accountable.
Our kids are watching.
They see us not be accountable.
This is the world we live in.
There is an absolute void ofaccountability.
Now don't mistake the word forresponsible, for accountable.
If you go to work today, you'vebeen responsible.
(14:52):
You showed up at work, good job.
But if you sit there the wholetime and look at your Facebook
page or you're rude andimpatient with the coworkers or
the customers that come in, ifyou don't do a thorough job and
you don't care and you seesomething's wrong, you don't
care.
It's not your problem.
That's not being accountable.
They hired you to be an assetthat brings value to their
business and if you just existin the chair at that space,
(15:14):
that's responsible.
You just showed up.
Accountable is you own it.
You own the best of yourability as you serve God through
that job that you have.
So I just don't think peopleare aware of the lack of
accountability, and I thinkthat's what's keeping us from
being accountable.
That's why I wrote the book.
I mean, you think this wouldnot you require a book, you can
just say go be accountable.
People don't know what thatlooks like.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
You mentioned before about, you know, being that
we're all, you know, all of uswho are Christians will
eventually be accountable to God.
And then you know, the questionI should ask you is so why are
people not accountable?
So who are we, you know,besides God?
(15:58):
And for those who are notChristians, who may listen to
this later, who should they beaccountable to?
I mean, do they, like Imentioned earlier about the
accountability group oraccountability people?
You know you said that thatdoesn't always work out because
people lie or people may nottell the truth.
(16:18):
So who are they beingaccountable to?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yourself.
You need to figure out whatyour life is all about.
I really teeter on a lot ofawkwardness as I share this with
people because I don't want itto be like a.
I grew up in the seventieswhere there was this whole
movement of just name it.
Claim it and you know, if youfeel good, do it.
And and it was this whole thingabout you know you, you can be
(16:43):
good just just with inside ofyou.
And I'm saying that all thesethings based on the fact that
you as a human are here on earthand you've got a small amount
of time in the scope of historyand eternity to do something
here, and whatever you do willprobably never be remembered.
Even the biggest names famousmost people.
(17:05):
At some point those things willbecome nothing.
You know Pharaoh did a prettygood job building some buildings
, but you know that's other thanthat guy.
There's going to be a lot ofpeople who won't be remembered.
So what do you do with your life?
And I think the opportunity isfor us to be accountable to the
reason that we exist.
That's the core of it is.
I'm going to be here for 60, 80, 90 years, I don't know but in
(17:27):
the span of that.
I have to deliver what I wascreated for.
I'm here for a purpose, dorsey.
You're here for a purpose andyou should rock that purpose.
Whatever that is, you have alane that you're in.
Be awesome at it, but youshould be accountable to all the
things that you are given.
(17:49):
I go back to the parable of thetalents.
That's in the Bible.
Each of us has been given atalent, a certain amount a five,
a three, a one.
There's some different level ofwhat you've been given in the
journey you have.
And whatever you have, youshould be awesome at it because
it was given to you and it was.
The giver of that is giving itto you to steward, to take care
(18:10):
of, and someday he's going tocome back for that investment
that's you and he wants to see agood return.
Now, you don't have to believeall this stuff.
I do, but you don't have tobelieve all this.
But those of us who followJesus, this is what we're told
that the master has given theservants this investment and he
wants a good return, and it willcome to pass that he will come
(18:32):
back for his investment to seewhat you did with it.
So you being accountable to youand who God created you to be
for your purpose in life is allthat matters.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
You mentioned about the talent there.
I'm not sure if it's a talentas much as it is a, you know,
maybe a fruit of the spirit, butI like to encourage people and
I like to inspire people and Iremember telling a friend of
mine, you know, last week orwhatever it was, that I want to
(19:02):
do that more.
You know, I feel like I didn'tlose it or I didn't, you know,
but maybe I put it to the sideand I want to do that again.
I want to encourage people.
I see somebody doing a greatjob.
We come down I want to say, hey, that you're doing a great job,
keep it up.
You know they grab with.
You know, with they grab with.
You know, with the shaming onSunday to the youth that spoke
(19:27):
on Friday night.
You know that type ofencouragement that I want to
give to people, even to myco-workers at my job, who you
know may not like being there,you know, for that day, or who
are frustrated Okay, you knowwhat, regardless of what you're
going through today for that dayor who are frustrated, okay,
(19:48):
regardless of what you're goingthrough today, you're doing a
great job.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
And Dorsey, nobody wants to be an encourager on
their own.
That comes from God.
You know, these things that wedo, that are nice the lack of a
better word I would say honoringto God, those things that we
desire to do, they're not of us,those are from the spirit of
God, because, left to ourselves,I don't give a rip about other
people.
They want to be a baby about it.
Go home, go find another job,get out of my face.
(20:13):
But if you really have a desireto be encouraged, that comes
from God.
So, again, he has given youthat skill, that talent, and you
go use it to the best of yourability to bring glory and honor
to his name.
And each of us has some role,something that we do, that we
can either do it okay or we cando it with awesomeness.
(20:34):
And again, since you're goingto be accountable to God for it,
I vote for doing it withexcellence and doing the best of
your ability.
Otherwise you waste thatopportunity.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
How do we own being accountable for our own mistakes
?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah, you know, no one knows what you really do.
You know, a lot of the stuff wedo in life is kind of secret.
Heck, half the junk thatderails me from my walk with the
Lord is in my brain and noone's ever going to know that.
And so, really, what it comesdown to is vulnerability.
Excuse me, if you want trueaccountability, you need to be a
(21:15):
vulnerable, becausevulnerability allows us to get
help to be the best version ofourselves.
If I don't tell you what mygoal is, there's no way for you
to know if I'm doing a good jobof it or not, to encourage me,
as you're really good at doing,or to challenge me if I'm
getting derailed.
So a lot of times people don'tlet other people into their
(21:35):
lives.
They're the people who watchchurch at home.
They're the people who sit inthe very back row and the whole
church is wide open, and theydon't talk to people.
They come in, they get out andthey leave.
I don't want people in mybusiness.
I don't want people to knowwhat I'm doing, because I don't
want people to tell me I'm notdoing the right thing, and so we
just kind of avoid people.
But if you really want to bethe best version of yourself.
You got to tell somebody.
You got to walk with otherpeople.
(21:57):
We have a life group at mychurch so we hang out with other
people a few times a monthoutside of the church situation,
so we can know each other andgo.
You and your wife seem to bearguing a lot lately what's
going on, not to bust theirchops, but to care for them and
encourage them.
And so I think if you want toreally be the best version of
yourself, you're going to haveto be vulnerable, you're going
(22:17):
to have to share with somebodyelse.
I recommend, at the very least,you write it down.
That's why we created thesatisfaction assessment.
Go online, go tonobodycaresbookcom and you can
take the assessment for free.
And we don't charge you.
We don't ask for yourinformation, we just give it to
you for free because we wantpeople to be able to start the
journey on their own.
And then you write it down.
(22:37):
If you're really truly honest,how much do you value your
relationship with God?
How is your marriage today incomparison to what you thought
it was going to be the day yougot married?
What about your kids?
Is your relationship with yourkids the thing you thought it
would be when they were firstborn, or your finances or your
career.
Just write it down and score ithonestly.
That's the first step.
(22:57):
Now you've declared it to theworld.
Look, piece of paper I saidthis and now it's out there.
It exists.
And now, if you really want tohave vulnerability and
accountability, share it withsomeone.
Say, look, here's my life, thisis where I'm satisfied or not
satisfied, it's totally up toyou.
You can say whatever you want,but if you show somebody now,
(23:20):
it's not only spoken to theworld and everyone, it's out in
existence.
But now you've shared it withsomeone, now you're being really
vulnerable and now they cansupport you, encourage you.
Hey, I have that same problem.
Why don't we walk this together?
It's what the body of Christ isall about.
Right, we're supposed to comealong with each other and
support each other in thejourney.
I think that's what allows usto have real accountability.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Why do you think we blame, why do you think we make
excuses and blame others or Godfor our own mistake and failure?
Why do you think we do?
Because we don't want to takeaccountability.
That's so true, man.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
I mean, these are like simple things, but the
reality is, ever since you werea little kid, you blamed someone
, you knocked something over.
He did it, you know, or youmake excuses.
I didn't know that, I didn'tknow.
I wasn't supposed to put thecat in the dryer.
You, you know.
Whatever things you do as a kid,it's from the very beginning.
No one has to teach us how tobe bad, but we don't want to get
(24:21):
punished, so we figure out away to avoid accountability.
We've been raised on this andso I think it's just.
It is different to really trulythink about life with the eyes
of accountability.
It changes everything I do.
Again, it's not negative, it'snot like, oh, I don't need this
extra stress in my life, no, no,no.
(24:42):
This is freedom and power andjoy, because everything else you
stay a victim.
But when you look at somethingthrough the eyes of
accountability, you're taking it.
We say if you takeaccountability for everything in
your life, you now have thepower to change anything in your
life, and I'm saying anything.
There's nothing you can't do,especially those of us who are
(25:03):
walking with Jesus.
He says I can do all thingsthrough Christ, who gives me
strength, and so, whatever thingyou think you got, that's too
big, it's not.
It just needs for you to stepup and own it and begin the
journey, and you might beworking on it till the day you
die, but it's still yours.
You're not going to live a lifeas a victim.
You're going to constantly bein this journey of whatever you
(25:26):
got.
When I was young, it was gettingthrough school.
When I was older, it wasfinding a girl.
When I was older than that, itwas being married.
Then it was starting my career.
Then it was losing my job.
I mean, there's alwayssomething.
Wait till I get a house, thenI'll be happy.
Oh my gosh, I have a house NowI have to take care of it.
Everything is gonna.
There's always something outthere, beyond your reach, that
will make you happy.
If you have this that's a lieyou could be happy today.
(25:50):
Happiness is fleeting.
You can have joy today becauseyou look at your life and say I
am loved by the God of theuniverse.
He created me exactly the wayhe wanted me to be and there's a
purpose for my life that isunique to me.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Now get going, amen.
Men seem to have a harder timebeing accountable to one another
.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Why do you think that is?
Yeah, I don't think men likebeing generally vulnerable.
You know, I mean maybe it'sstereotypical on my side, but
the women in my life, like mybeautiful wife Kathy, she's just
genuine and real and tender andshe'll meet some random dude
somewhere and just start sharingher heart.
She's just real.
(26:35):
But if I meet some random dudesomewhere and just start sharing
her heart, she's just real.
But if I meet some random dudesomewhere, I'm trying to impress
him, I want to look like I gotmy life together and so maybe
that's that macho thing whereyou don't want to be vulnerable,
you don't want to be real.
But I think it holds us backfrom having the opportunity of
community in the journey, sinceno one's going to hold me
(26:56):
accountable.
I don't need someone to do myjob for me, but I do need
someone to walk with me andencourage me and challenge me.
But if they don't know what I'mstruggling with, how do they
support me?
And I've also been in theseaccountability groups where guys
get together every week andtalk about all the mistakes they
made oh, I looked at porn lastweek.
Oh, yeah, I yelled at my wifeagain.
And then, month after month,they come back.
It's rinse and repeat.
They're just telling the samestories of failure.
(27:18):
Stop being a victim.
If you're looking at porn onyour computer.
Take your computer, bash it toa million pieces.
What does the Bible say?
If your hand makes you stumble,cut it out.
If your eye makes you stumble,gouge it out.
Is Jesus like some weirdo?
He's saying just be that, bethat extreme, cut out things
that make you stumble.
So if you've got a problem withyour computer, get rid of your
computer.
Oh, I need a job.
(27:38):
Don't give me that.
Don't tell me I can't.
Tell me you won't.
You're saying I won't.
That is a victim mindset whenyou say I can't.
Oh, I need a computer for work.
Get another job.
If what you're doing isdestroying your life, own it.
Fix whatever you got to do,because at some point it's going
to own you.
(27:58):
And you'd say well, I can'ttake another job because I'll
lose my income.
Dude, well, when you get firedfor doing something you
shouldn't be doing, then you'llhave to go work at Walmart
anyway.
So why not go work at Walmartnow and adjust your lifestyle
proactively and take thereceipts when people leave and
mark them with a pen, and thenyou're not looking at porn
(28:21):
anymore.
I think we have just become socomfortable with staying in the
victim role, and if we as mendon't man up and lead the way
that God has called us to lead,we are throwing away the
responsibility and opportunitythat God gave us, and we're
accountable for that.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Like you said, first we need to be accountable to God
and then we need to beaccountable to ourselves, but it
can work in situations where wecan be accountable to other
people.
We just need to know that.
Hey, they may not always betelling us the truth.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I think the only danger with that, dorsey, is
that we take the pressure andput it on them.
Right, dorsey?
You're my accountabilitypartner, so I'm going to call
you.
You call me every week.
You check in on me.
I need you to be myaccountability.
I'm now putting the weight onyou to do something for me, and
so what it does is it kind oftakes the pressure off of me to
step up my game.
I'm not saying there's anythingwrong with having a buddy who's
(29:17):
an accountability partner.
I'm just saying all you'regoing to do with them is be
vulnerable about the work thatyou're going to do towards
chasing the life that you reallywant.
They do nothing for you.
Well, that's not fair.
They can absolutely pray foryou, they can absolutely call
you and check in, but it'stotally on you to be vulnerable
and real and honest about this.
(29:38):
Otherwise it doesn't work.
So I just feel like sometimeswe put this burden on the
accountability partner tosomehow babysit us or save us
from doing something wrong.
It is not their job to do that.
They can walk with you in thejourney, but they are not your
savior you in the journey, butthey are not your savior.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah, I can definitely see that and see
where you're coming from withthat.
How do we start livingvictoriously and stop playing
the victim brain game?
So when?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
you decide that the pain of where you are is worse
than the pain of where you'regoing to go, you will change,
and that's how we were in 2019.
We were sick of the stress ofdebt and, as much as we loved
our house it was beautiful, bighome, movie theater upstairs,
beautiful furniture forentertaining.
It was wonderful we couldn'tafford it and the pain of where
(30:30):
we were was so miserable that wefinally decided to change.
So when you get to a point inyour life where you say, look, I
don't like living like this,I'm going to own this, then you
begin the journey towardsaccountability.
We describe it as like climbinga mountain that's what the
whole book is structured likeand the first base of the
mountain is all those excusesthat keep us as victims.
(30:52):
But then you get to that placewhere you say, wait, nobody
cares until I do, and so I'mgoing to now take this journey
that I want to be on, that I'vescored in my assessments and I'm
going to look at it and I'mgoing to say, okay, here's the
reality of where I'm at and whenI'm going to start the journey
of accountability.
The first step to that istaking stock of where you're at.
Acknowledge the reality.
(31:12):
The second one is to embracethe suck we stalk of where
you're at.
Acknowledge the reality.
The second one is to embracethe suck.
We call it that on purposebecause it's going to suck,
because going through some ofthese hard things sucks when you
change.
Like selling my house sucked.
I hated that.
I didn't like selling my house.
I loved it.
Having to tell people that wewere $90,000 in debt and we're
trying to start over sucked butI had to own it and I'd rather
(31:34):
have my journey suck goingtowards where I'm going than to
stay as a victim and have itsuck Because as a victim it's
going to stay there forever.
But when I go through thejourney of accountability it's
on its way out.
So acknowledge reality, embracethe suck and then find a
solution.
We knew our house had equity butwe still had to sell it.
We still had to go through thatjourney.
(31:55):
We had to find a real estateagent.
We had to move out a lot of ourfurniture into a temporary
storage place to make our houselook sellable.
We had to go through tons ofstuff we'd accumulated over the
years that there was nowhere toput them in our new home.
This new home is one third ofthe size of our old home.
We couldn't take most of ourfurniture.
(32:15):
It wouldn't fit here.
We had to sell all of it forpennies on the dollar.
So you go through the process,you sell it, you sell your house
, you make the changes you'regoing to do and then you just
make it happen.
You work through the pieces andyou own it till it's done.
And that's what you do.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
You mentioned the Earth New Times.
Now Can you tell us a littlebit more about your book and
where people can get your book?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Yeah, our book is available at all the bookstores
you can think of, like Barnesand Nobles and Walmart and
Target and all that good stuff,and it's available on Amazon.
We prefer you buy it from us atnobodycaresbookcom.
And the reason we want you tobuy it from us besides we make a
few more bucks at it is thereality that you then become
(33:01):
part of our community.
We want to hear about you.
We want you to take theassessment online.
We want you to share yourresults with us, take a
screenshot or send us the PDFand say here's my results,
here's the journey I'm on.
Tell us your story, we'll prayfor you.
Results here's the journey I'mon.
Tell us your story, we'll prayfor you.
We want to encourage you.
We'll send you emails.
We'll keep in our distributionlist.
So we want to talk.
We want to build a community ofpeople who are sharing the
(33:21):
results of living a life ofaccountability.
So we prefer you buy it from usthat way.
As far as your podcast, Icreated a special link that if
you can go to nobodycarespodcom,then you can put in the code
word DORSEY and then, if you putin the code word, I will mail
(33:41):
you a copy of my book for freefor the first two people who
fill out that contact form, andI wanted to do that because I
wanted you to be able to connectwith some of your listeners and
reward those loyal fans whostayed to the end of your
podcast and give them a chance.
If you really want the book andyou're really going to read it
and you're really going to applyit to your life, I will send
you an autographed copy of ourbook and encourage you in your
(34:03):
journey.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much forthat.
And one last question I like toask my guests is can you give
us one last encouragement for mylisteners?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
The thing that has been on my heart lately is don't
be lazy.
I don't think we think ofourselves as lazy.
Remember responsible is doingsomething, but accountable is
doing what is required, what isthe thing you should be doing,
and so don't be lazy.
Lazy means you know you shoulddo something, but you don't do
it.
The Bible says a sluggardcraves for much and accomplishes
(34:41):
nothing.
And I think in my own life, oneof the reasons why I don't have
everything the way I want it isbecause I'm lazy.
I know I should floss.
I don't want to floss, I'mtired.
Forget it.
That's lazy.
I know I should eat threeservings of vegetables a day.
Ah, I know I should eat threeservings of vegetables a day.
Ah, that's too much work.
I'll have a taco.
That's lazy.
I know I should be saving thismuch each month, yeah, but I'd
(35:02):
rather go to the beach and dothat.
That's lazy.
There's so many things that wedo that we're just lazy about it
, and the lazy man gets nothing.
The lazy person ends up withwhatever they get, and I don't
want to get whatever I get.
I want to get what I want, andwhat I want is a solid marriage,
kids who love Jesus, friendsthat are there for me when I
(35:23):
need them, great relationshipsin the business community and,
most of all, a Lord who ispleased with the life that I've
lived.
So don't be lazy.
Up your game, get it done.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Amen.
Well, thank you, Robert, forcoming on the show again today.
We greatly appreciate havingyou.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
It's been nice to talk with you, Dorsey.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Well, guys and girls, thank you so much for coming on
and listening again today.
I hope you are encouraged andinspired by what Robert had to
say and please go and check outhis website and his book.
I hope you buy and pick it up.
And please like and share thispodcast and go and check out my
(36:09):
website and my podcast and,until next time, have a great
day.
Bye-bye.
Hello everyone.
Hello everyone, thanks againfor joining me on another
episode of the Dorsey Ross Show.
Today we have a special guestwith us.
His name is Robert Hunt.
He is described as theaccountability guy and the
co-author of the book NobodyCares Until you do.
(00:22):
He is a business owner in theDallas-Fort Worth, texas area
and helps leaders remove thethings that keep them from being
their best in the Dallas-FortWorth since 2013, and he brings
(00:45):
that experience and wisdom tohis people to reach their goals.
Robert has been married 25years to his beautiful wife,
kathy, and has two grown adultchildren, also living in Texas.
He is passionate about hisfaith, his purpose as a family
(01:08):
and his quest to help people betheir best.
Robert, thank you so much forcoming on the show today.
Thank you for having meAbsolutely.
When I just saw your email andwhatnot about who you are and
(01:36):
what you do and I was like thisis an interesting guy and topic
that I would like to discuss,because I don't think that we
discuss being accountable to oneanother enough what
accountability is and what doesthat, what does that look like?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
yeah, yeah it is.
It is a misunderstood word, Ithink most of the time we think
of accountability, we think ofyou're in trouble and that's
something you did wrong and I'mgoing to hold you accountable
for it.
It has this punitive tone thatI have found in my own life.
That is not accurate, becausethey're actually the real way we
should talk about.
Accountability is freedom andpower and hope.
(02:09):
And if you really think aboutit, if everything in your life
happens to you, you're justscrewed.
You're just a victim in lifefor everything.
But if, if whatever happens toyou as part of the journey that
directs your next step and youproactively make plans in light
of the journey you're on, youown it.
You own it.
Now, we all know that at the endof the day, god decides
(02:30):
everything that happens in ourlives one way or another.
But if we look at the fact thatwe're driving and we're going
somewhere and we are decidingwhat that looks like, we have
power.
But if you just wait forsomething else to happen to you
and then complain about it, thenyou're just a victim, and I've
lived that way for a long timeas a young man, certainly even
(02:53):
as an adult, raising my kids andthe challenges I went through,
it is easy to just become, inthe knee-jerk reaction mindset,
a whiner.
But God didn't put us here andredeem us and create a plan for
our life for us to sit andcomplain about it the whole time
.
There is something to be done,but we need to be the one who
drive it and not sitting aroundand just responding to it, and
(03:13):
that's the difference between alife that is full of
accountability.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
You know, as my audience knows, I like to open
up my questions with anicebreaker question, and today's
icebreaker question is what'ssomething interesting about you
that most people don't know?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
You know I have such a twisted mind.
I think of all these things inmy free time.
You know, like all theridiculous things that I do,
like I play the spoon on myteeth.
You know I have a.
When I was in high school at atalent show, I there are all
these people doing real talentsand I went out with a plastic
spoon and played it on my teethand it sounds like something you
know, actually musical, umthings that people don't know.
(03:58):
I've been on four televisionshows.
I grew up in SouthernCalifornia and, uh, in Southern
California you can just get on aTV show just walking down the
street.
Someone will say you want to beon a TV show.
I'm like, yeah, sure, and mybeautiful wife was on a couple
different TV shows too, so we'vebeen as a family.
We've probably been on seventelevision shows together as a
family.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Oh wow, Can you name a few of those?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, yeah, when I was really young I was on Family
Feud with Richard Dawson as thehost at the time with my family
.
And then, when I got married tomy first wife, I was on
Newlywed Game.
We came in fourth place, whichis known as last.
That was, I guess, aforeshadowing of the future of
(04:40):
my marriage.
And then we were also on a showcalled Every Second Counts,
which flashed in the pan.
Maybe it was on for a month orso.
It was horrible.
And then later on in life I wason a home remodeling show
called Weekend Warriors, whereyou remodel your home and they
film it.
So we've had our chance to besemi-famous.
(05:01):
Okay, didn't do anything for mylife.
My life's the same.
You know.
It started one way.
It's going to probably end thesame way anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
How do we live a life of real accountability?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, it's not hard, it's intentional but it's not
hard.
And everything in life is achallenge in one way or another.
You know, life is 10% of whathappens to you and 90% of how
you respond to it, and if youwant to have the life that you
really want, you need to beintentional about it, because
(05:38):
otherwise you become a victimand you look at your life from
the lens of a victim.
And so to be intentional, youhave to be able to, first of all
, identify what you want, andwhen you don't have a purpose or
a vision for your life,anything works fine.
But you only know what youdon't want.
You know people can tell youwhat I don't want.
I don't want to be without ajob.
(05:58):
I don't want to have you know,this difficult marriage.
I don't want to have bad kids.
You, this difficult marriage, Idon't want to have bad kids.
Pick your topic.
We know what we don't want.
But to take the time and createthe vision of what you do want,
that takes thoughtfulness, thattakes intentionality.
But once you've done that andyou actually can visualize what
you want your life to be like,then you have a plan to go do
something against it, and wewrite about this in our book
(06:22):
that we fall into four trapsthat we're not really aware of
most of the time, that hold usback from being accountable when
you look at your life and yousay here's what I want my life
to be and here's where I am, andthen you say, well, why am I
here?
I want to be there.
The four things that we tend todo that keep us as a victim is
we blame, we make excuses, wesay we can't, or we wait and
(06:44):
hope.
And I did all those things andI still do them sometimes, and
that's why I have to alwayskeenly be aware of what I'm
doing and how I'm responding.
But it's easy to blame.
We can blame everything ourparents, our bosses, god, the
economy, the government.
Or we can make excuses well, Inever had this, no one told me
and all these things.
They just hold us back.
(07:05):
We can also say I can't, I can'tdo that, that's outside my
comfort zone, which is justanother word for fear.
Or we can just wait and hope itgets better.
Maybe I'll just make minimumpayments on my credit cards for
the next six years and see ifthings work out okay and they
don't, they get worse.
Or maybe I won't go see acounselor because I don't want
to have awkward conversationswith my spouse.
So maybe it'll get better onits own.
(07:26):
It won't, it gets worse.
And so those four things holdus back as victims.
But if at some point in yourlife you realize, look, nobody
cares, nobody cares if you'rebroke, fat, miserable in your
marriage, don't like your job,nobody cares.
We got our own junk to worryabout.
We cannot just spend our timetrying to worry about your junk.
(07:47):
But if you care enough to dosomething about it, then there's
the opportunity to pursue thelife you really want.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
What are the steps to being accountable?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, the first thing you have to do is really take
stock of where you are, and weput an assessment in the book.
It's called our satisfactionassessment, we came up with that
term, and the whole idea isthat, where you are and we put
an assessment in the book.
It's called our satisfactionassessment, we came up with that
term, and the whole idea isthat where you're satisfied,
you'll have more energy in life.
Where you're not satisfied,it's the opportunity to do
something about it.
So the first thing you do isyou take stock of where you're
at, and so you take thesatisfaction assessment and you
(08:19):
rank and rate where things arein your personal and
professional life.
You score them on a scale ofone to 10.
And then you look at that andyou go, okay, well, I'm not
happy with this or this or this.
This one's not so bad, I'll getto it someday, but this one I
don't like.
And once you've declared thatand you've been really, really
honest, then you can figure outa plan to do something about it
(08:39):
and you can be aware of thetimes where you fall into a trap
as a victim where you'd say,well, I can't do anything about
that.
Yes, you can, yes, you can.
For example, let's say you havea job, you really want to pursue
a career doing something.
You want to be a youth minister, you want to be someone who
works at a national park, I mean, whatever you think, something
that doesn't make money.
Youth minister there you go,someone who doesn't make a lot
(09:02):
of money, and so then you decide, okay, I want to do that.
And then you look at your lifeand you go well, how can I
afford to be a youth pastor?
Well, you can't.
It doesn't pay very much inmost cases.
So what do you got to do to bea youth pastor?
You just don't say, well, Ican't, I can't afford it.
No, you say, okay, I got tochange my lifestyle.
And then the argument I can'tcomes up again.
Well, you can't live like that.
(09:22):
Yes, you can.
Look, I know what it's like tohave no money.
I mean no money.
I've been there a few times inmy life where I had no money and
God has been faithful and healways provides in one way or
another.
But we get by.
But you can live on very, verycheap if you want to.
But it's, we don't want to.
So it's, it's.
If you change the word I can'tto, I won't.
(09:47):
And then you look at yourselflike why am I being that way?
Look, if you want to live alife that lets you chase your
passion and purpose, but itdoesn't pay, well, figure out a
way to live cheap.
When we started our journey, weoutlined this in the book.
In 2019, we owed $90,000 indebt, and that did not include
the house or cars, and it was astress point for us.
We argued about it.
(10:07):
It caused stress in our lives,we were angry at God, we were
angry at the world and wedecided at that point we need to
take ownership and change ourlives.
So we did.
We sold our house and wefinally closed escrow in March
of 2020.
When COVID shut down the world,we moved into this little
rental home that we live intoday and it's wonderful and
small and lovely and clean andwe take good care of it and
(10:30):
we're thankful.
But we took all that money fromthe sale of our house and we
paid off all of our debt andstarted over.
So don't say you can't.
You could say you won't or Idon't want to, but if you want
the life you really want andthere's something that's coming
between it are you willing tochange, and that's the steps of
accountability.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
How does accountability play in the role
of people with faith?
We talk about havingaccountability with another man.
If you're a man or a woman,another woman how does faith
play in that role?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I don't know how it is in other religions, but I
think we may be the only one.
Well, I don't know.
So I just I will stop there.
I know that we will beaccountable to God, but there's
no one else in the world thatwe're accountable to, and I know
that's a phrase that seems odd,but in our book we tell you,
you tell you, nobody can holdanyone else accountable.
I cannot be accountable to you,but I can be accountable to
(11:31):
myself and the things that Isaid I was going to do.
You can's the point.
You know you're not holding meaccountable.
It doesn't work that way.
But if I want to be trulyaccountable, I open up the
opportunity for the life that Ireally want.
And those of us who followJesus, we're told very clearly
(11:53):
you will be accountable for thelife you live, period, good or
bad.
You are truly going to beaccountable to God, and that's
not a threat, that's just sayingso.
Since you're accountable, whynot live a life of intentional
living that gets you the resultsyou want?
My results that I want are tolive a life that shows God how
thankful I am that he chose meto be a part of his family and
(12:15):
he redeemed me for all eternity.
As crappy as this world mightbe from time to time, it's
nothing compared to an eternityspent with God, and so I look at
that as okay.
So what do I do with the thinghe gave me?
How am I accountable to him?
Since I am accountable to him,what would that look like?
And that means that I honor himin my marriage, I honor him as
(12:35):
I raise my kids, I honor him atmy work and the things that I do
to serve my community, becauseI am accountable to him, and I
think that's the difference.
So, when it comes to beingaccountable to a man or a woman,
there really isn't any power inthat.
I know we have accountabilitygroups, but I've been in many of
them and people lie.
You know, oh, how's thingsgoing?
(12:56):
It's going great, going great.
And then six months laterthey're finally for divorce and
you're like hey, I thoughtthings were going great, I just
didn't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
No-transcript why are people not accountable?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I don't think they really realize they're not being
accountable.
You know, if I said I had aroom full of people and I said
who's accountable in here,everybody would raise their hand
.
And if I asked, well, who playsa victim role?
Nobody would raise their hand.
But in reality, you play thevictim role all the time.
When you're late for work, whatdo you say oh, traffic was
horrible.
Isn't traffic horrible everyday?
(13:45):
Is that like a brand new thing?
Oh my gosh, all of a suddenthere's traffic outside.
There's traffic all the time.
And if you run out of time youdon't get something done, you
blame well, I got really busy.
You make excuses.
We do it all the time.
These are things that are justplaying us as a victim, and so I
just don't think people havebecome aware of the life that
you've started to live, becauseit's so pervasive everywhere in
(14:07):
the world that when thingsaren't going the way you want it
to go, you just blame, makeexcuses, say you can't, or wait
and hope.
And if you've got a bunch ofdebt, what do you do?
You make minimum payments andyou wait and hope things get
better.
Maybe I'll get a big fat bonusat work this year and that'll be
used to pay off all the debtand you get a big fat bonus at
work.
What do you do?
You go on a vacation.
Well, I can make minimumpayments.
Still, we have just become thismindset of I'm just kicking the
(14:30):
can down the road.
Our whole government owestrillions of dollars.
They're not accountable,they're modeling it.
We, as parents, say we're goingto do something and we don't.
We're not accountable.
Our kids are watching.
They see us not be accountable.
This is the world we live in.
There is an absolute void ofaccountability.
Now don't mistake the word forresponsible, for accountable.
If you go to work today, you'vebeen responsible.
(14:52):
You showed up at work, good job.
But if you sit there the wholetime and look at your Facebook
page or you're rude andimpatient with the coworkers or
the customers that come in, ifyou don't do a thorough job and
you don't care and you seesomething's wrong, you don't
care.
It's not your problem.
That's not being accountable.
They hired you to be an assetthat brings value to their
business and if you just existin the chair at that space,
(15:14):
that's responsible.
You just showed up.
Accountable is you own it.
You own the best of yourability as you serve God through
that job that you have.
So I just don't think peopleare aware of the lack of
accountability, and I thinkthat's what's keeping us from
being accountable.
That's why I wrote the book.
I mean, you think this wouldnot you require a book, you can
just say go be accountable.
People don't know what thatlooks like.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
You mentioned before about, you know, being that
we're all, you know, all of uswho are Christians will
eventually be accountable to God.
And then you know, the questionI should ask you is so why are
people not accountable?
So who are we, you know,besides God?
(15:58):
And for those who are notChristians, who may listen to
this later, who should they beaccountable to?
I mean, do they, like Imentioned earlier about the
accountability group oraccountability people?
You know you said that thatdoesn't always work out because
people lie or people may nottell the truth.
(16:18):
So who are they beingaccountable to?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yourself.
You need to figure out whatyour life is all about.
I really teeter on a lot ofawkwardness as I share this with
people because I don't want itto be like a.
I grew up in the seventieswhere there was this whole
movement of just name it.
Claim it and you know, if youfeel good, do it.
And and it was this whole thingabout you know you, you can be
(16:43):
good just just with inside ofyou.
And I'm saying that all thesethings based on the fact that
you as a human are here on earthand you've got a small amount
of time in the scope of historyand eternity to do something
here, and whatever you do willprobably never be remembered.
Even the biggest names famousmost people.
(17:05):
At some point those things willbecome nothing.
You know Pharaoh did a prettygood job building some buildings
, but you know that's other thanthat guy.
There's going to be a lot ofpeople who won't be remembered.
So what do you do with your life?
And I think the opportunity isfor us to be accountable to the
reason that we exist.
That's the core of it is.
I'm going to be here for 60, 80, 90 years, I don't know but in
(17:27):
the span of that.
I have to deliver what I wascreated for.
I'm here for a purpose, dorsey.
You're here for a purpose andyou should rock that purpose.
Whatever that is, you have alane that you're in.
Be awesome at it, but youshould be accountable to all the
things that you are given.
(17:49):
I go back to the parable of thetalents.
That's in the Bible.
Each of us has been given atalent, a certain amount a five,
a three, a one.
There's some different level ofwhat you've been given in the
journey you have.
And whatever you have, youshould be awesome at it because
it was given to you and it was.
The giver of that is giving itto you to steward, to take care
(18:10):
of, and someday he's going tocome back for that investment
that's you and he wants to see agood return.
Now, you don't have to believeall this stuff.
I do, but you don't have tobelieve all this.
But those of us who followJesus, this is what we're told
that the master has given theservants this investment and he
wants a good return, and it willcome to pass that he will come
(18:32):
back for his investment to seewhat you did with it.
So you being accountable to youand who God created you to be
for your purpose in life is allthat matters.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
You mentioned about the talent there.
I'm not sure if it's a talentas much as it is a, you know,
maybe a fruit of the spirit, butI like to encourage people and
I like to inspire people and Iremember telling a friend of
mine, you know, last week orwhatever it was, that I want to
(19:02):
do that more.
You know, I feel like I didn'tlose it or I didn't, you know,
but maybe I put it to the sideand I want to do that again.
I want to encourage people.
I see somebody doing a greatjob.
We come down I want to say, hey, that you're doing a great job,
keep it up.
You know they grab with.
You know, with they grab with.
You know, with the shaming onSunday to the youth that spoke
(19:27):
on Friday night.
You know that type ofencouragement that I want to
give to people, even to myco-workers at my job, who you
know may not like being there,you know, for that day, or who
are frustrated Okay, you knowwhat, regardless of what you're
going through today for that dayor who are frustrated, okay,
(19:48):
regardless of what you're goingthrough today, you're doing a
great job.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
And Dorsey, nobody wants to be an encourager on
their own.
That comes from God.
You know, these things that wedo, that are nice the lack of a
better word I would say honoringto God, those things that we
desire to do, they're not of us,those are from the spirit of
God, because, left to ourselves,I don't give a rip about other
people.
They want to be a baby about it.
Go home, go find another job,get out of my face.
(20:13):
But if you really have a desireto be encouraged, that comes
from God.
So, again, he has given youthat skill, that talent, and you
go use it to the best of yourability to bring glory and honor
to his name.
And each of us has some role,something that we do, that we
can either do it okay or we cando it with awesomeness.
(20:34):
And again, since you're goingto be accountable to God for it,
I vote for doing it withexcellence and doing the best of
your ability.
Otherwise you waste thatopportunity.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
How do we own being accountable for our own mistakes
?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah, you know, no one knows what you really do.
You know, a lot of the stuff wedo in life is kind of secret.
Heck, half the junk thatderails me from my walk with the
Lord is in my brain and noone's ever going to know that.
And so, really, what it comesdown to is vulnerability.
Excuse me, if you want trueaccountability, you need to be a
(21:15):
vulnerable, becausevulnerability allows us to get
help to be the best version ofourselves.
If I don't tell you what mygoal is, there's no way for you
to know if I'm doing a good jobof it or not, to encourage me,
as you're really good at doing,or to challenge me if I'm
getting derailed.
So a lot of times people don'tlet other people into their
(21:35):
lives.
They're the people who watchchurch at home.
They're the people who sit inthe very back row and the whole
church is wide open, and theydon't talk to people.
They come in, they get out andthey leave.
I don't want people in mybusiness.
I don't want people to knowwhat I'm doing, because I don't
want people to tell me I'm notdoing the right thing, and so we
just kind of avoid people.
But if you really want to bethe best version of yourself.
You got to tell somebody.
You got to walk with otherpeople.
(21:57):
We have a life group at mychurch so we hang out with other
people a few times a monthoutside of the church situation,
so we can know each other andgo.
You and your wife seem to bearguing a lot lately what's
going on, not to bust theirchops, but to care for them and
encourage them.
And so I think if you want toreally be the best version of
yourself, you're going to haveto be vulnerable, you're going
(22:17):
to have to share with somebodyelse.
I recommend, at the very least,you write it down.
That's why we created thesatisfaction assessment.
Go online, go tonobodycaresbookcom and you can
take the assessment for free.
And we don't charge you.
We don't ask for yourinformation, we just give it to
you for free because we wantpeople to be able to start the
journey on their own.
And then you write it down.
(22:37):
If you're really truly honest,how much do you value your
relationship with God?
How is your marriage today incomparison to what you thought
it was going to be the day yougot married?
What about your kids?
Is your relationship with yourkids the thing you thought it
would be when they were firstborn, or your finances or your
career.
Just write it down and score ithonestly.
That's the first step.
(22:57):
Now you've declared it to theworld.
Look, piece of paper I saidthis and now it's out there.
It exists.
And now, if you really want tohave vulnerability and
accountability, share it withsomeone.
Say, look, here's my life, thisis where I'm satisfied or not
satisfied, it's totally up toyou.
You can say whatever you want,but if you show somebody now,
(23:20):
it's not only spoken to theworld and everyone, it's out in
existence.
But now you've shared it withsomeone, now you're being really
vulnerable and now they cansupport you, encourage you.
Hey, I have that same problem.
Why don't we walk this together?
It's what the body of Christ isall about.
Right, we're supposed to comealong with each other and
support each other in thejourney.
I think that's what allows usto have real accountability.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Why do you think we blame, why do you think we make
excuses and blame others or Godfor our own mistake and failure?
Why do you think we do?
Because we don't want to takeaccountability.
That's so true, man.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
I mean, these are like simple things, but the
reality is, ever since you werea little kid, you blamed someone
, you knocked something over.
He did it, you know, or youmake excuses.
I didn't know that, I didn'tknow.
I wasn't supposed to put thecat in the dryer.
You, you know.
Whatever things you do as a kid,it's from the very beginning.
No one has to teach us how tobe bad, but we don't want to get
(24:21):
punished, so we figure out away to avoid accountability.
We've been raised on this andso I think it's just.
It is different to really trulythink about life with the eyes
of accountability.
It changes everything I do.
Again, it's not negative, it'snot like, oh, I don't need this
extra stress in my life, no, no,no.
(24:42):
This is freedom and power andjoy, because everything else you
stay a victim.
But when you look at somethingthrough the eyes of
accountability, you're taking it.
We say if you takeaccountability for everything in
your life, you now have thepower to change anything in your
life, and I'm saying anything.
There's nothing you can't do,especially those of us who are
(25:03):
walking with Jesus.
He says I can do all thingsthrough Christ, who gives me
strength, and so, whatever thingyou think you got, that's too
big, it's not.
It just needs for you to stepup and own it and begin the
journey, and you might beworking on it till the day you
die, but it's still yours.
You're not going to live a lifeas a victim.
You're going to constantly bein this journey of whatever you
(25:26):
got.
When I was young, it was gettingthrough school.
When I was older, it wasfinding a girl.
When I was older than that, itwas being married.
Then it was starting my career.
Then it was losing my job.
I mean, there's alwayssomething.
Wait till I get a house, thenI'll be happy.
Oh my gosh, I have a house NowI have to take care of it.
Everything is gonna.
There's always something outthere, beyond your reach, that
will make you happy.
If you have this that's a lieyou could be happy today.
(25:50):
Happiness is fleeting.
You can have joy today becauseyou look at your life and say I
am loved by the God of theuniverse.
He created me exactly the wayhe wanted me to be and there's a
purpose for my life that isunique to me.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Now get going, amen.
Men seem to have a harder timebeing accountable to one another
.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Why do you think that is?
Yeah, I don't think men likebeing generally vulnerable.
You know, I mean maybe it'sstereotypical on my side, but
the women in my life, like mybeautiful wife Kathy, she's just
genuine and real and tender andshe'll meet some random dude
somewhere and just start sharingher heart.
She's just real.
(26:35):
But if I meet some random dudesomewhere and just start sharing
her heart, she's just real.
But if I meet some random dudesomewhere, I'm trying to impress
him, I want to look like I gotmy life together and so maybe
that's that macho thing whereyou don't want to be vulnerable,
you don't want to be real.
But I think it holds us backfrom having the opportunity of
community in the journey, sinceno one's going to hold me
(26:56):
accountable.
I don't need someone to do myjob for me, but I do need
someone to walk with me andencourage me and challenge me.
But if they don't know what I'mstruggling with, how do they
support me?
And I've also been in theseaccountability groups where guys
get together every week andtalk about all the mistakes they
made oh, I looked at porn lastweek.
Oh, yeah, I yelled at my wifeagain.
And then, month after month,they come back.
It's rinse and repeat.
They're just telling the samestories of failure.
(27:18):
Stop being a victim.
If you're looking at porn onyour computer.
Take your computer, bash it toa million pieces.
What does the Bible say?
If your hand makes you stumble,cut it out.
If your eye makes you stumble,gouge it out.
Is Jesus like some weirdo?
He's saying just be that, bethat extreme, cut out things
that make you stumble.
So if you've got a problem withyour computer, get rid of your
computer.
Oh, I need a job.
(27:38):
Don't give me that.
Don't tell me I can't.
Tell me you won't.
You're saying I won't.
That is a victim mindset whenyou say I can't.
Oh, I need a computer for work.
Get another job.
If what you're doing isdestroying your life, own it.
Fix whatever you got to do,because at some point it's going
to own you.
(27:58):
And you'd say well, I can'ttake another job because I'll
lose my income.
Dude, well, when you get firedfor doing something you
shouldn't be doing, then you'llhave to go work at Walmart
anyway.
So why not go work at Walmartnow and adjust your lifestyle
proactively and take thereceipts when people leave and
mark them with a pen, and thenyou're not looking at porn
(28:21):
anymore.
I think we have just become socomfortable with staying in the
victim role, and if we as mendon't man up and lead the way
that God has called us to lead,we are throwing away the
responsibility and opportunitythat God gave us, and we're
accountable for that.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Like you said, first we need to be accountable to God
and then we need to beaccountable to ourselves, but it
can work in situations where wecan be accountable to other
people.
We just need to know that.
Hey, they may not always betelling us the truth.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I think the only danger with that, dorsey, is
that we take the pressure andput it on them.
Right, dorsey?
You're my accountabilitypartner, so I'm going to call
you.
You call me every week.
You check in on me.
I need you to be myaccountability.
I'm now putting the weight onyou to do something for me, and
so what it does is it kind oftakes the pressure off of me to
step up my game.
I'm not saying there's anythingwrong with having a buddy who's
(29:17):
an accountability partner.
I'm just saying all you'regoing to do with them is be
vulnerable about the work thatyou're going to do towards
chasing the life that you reallywant.
They do nothing for you.
Well, that's not fair.
They can absolutely pray foryou, they can absolutely call
you and check in, but it'stotally on you to be vulnerable
and real and honest about this.
(29:38):
Otherwise it doesn't work.
So I just feel like sometimeswe put this burden on the
accountability partner tosomehow babysit us or save us
from doing something wrong.
It is not their job to do that.
They can walk with you in thejourney, but they are not your
savior you in the journey, butthey are not your savior.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah, I can definitely see that and see
where you're coming from withthat.
How do we start livingvictoriously and stop playing
the victim brain game?
So when?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
you decide that the pain of where you are is worse
than the pain of where you'regoing to go, you will change,
and that's how we were in 2019.
We were sick of the stress ofdebt and, as much as we loved
our house it was beautiful, bighome, movie theater upstairs,
beautiful furniture forentertaining.
It was wonderful we couldn'tafford it and the pain of where
(30:30):
we were was so miserable that wefinally decided to change.
So when you get to a point inyour life where you say, look, I
don't like living like this,I'm going to own this, then you
begin the journey towardsaccountability.
We describe it as like climbinga mountain that's what the
whole book is structured likeand the first base of the
mountain is all those excusesthat keep us as victims.
(30:52):
But then you get to that placewhere you say, wait, nobody
cares until I do, and so I'mgoing to now take this journey
that I want to be on, that I'vescored in my assessments and I'm
going to look at it and I'mgoing to say, okay, here's the
reality of where I'm at and whenI'm going to start the journey
of accountability.
The first step to that istaking stock of where you're at.
Acknowledge the reality.
(31:12):
The second one is to embracethe suck we stalk of where
you're at.
Acknowledge the reality.
The second one is to embracethe suck.
We call it that on purposebecause it's going to suck,
because going through some ofthese hard things sucks when you
change.
Like selling my house sucked.
I hated that.
I didn't like selling my house.
I loved it.
Having to tell people that wewere $90,000 in debt and we're
trying to start over sucked butI had to own it and I'd rather
(31:34):
have my journey suck goingtowards where I'm going than to
stay as a victim and have itsuck Because as a victim it's
going to stay there forever.
But when I go through thejourney of accountability it's
on its way out.
So acknowledge reality, embracethe suck and then find a
solution.
We knew our house had equity butwe still had to sell it.
We still had to go through thatjourney.
(31:55):
We had to find a real estateagent.
We had to move out a lot of ourfurniture into a temporary
storage place to make our houselook sellable.
We had to go through tons ofstuff we'd accumulated over the
years that there was nowhere toput them in our new home.
This new home is one third ofthe size of our old home.
We couldn't take most of ourfurniture.
(32:15):
It wouldn't fit here.
We had to sell all of it forpennies on the dollar.
So you go through the process,you sell it, you sell your house
, you make the changes you'regoing to do and then you just
make it happen.
You work through the pieces andyou own it till it's done.
And that's what you do.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
You mentioned the Earth New Times.
Now Can you tell us a littlebit more about your book and
where people can get your book?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Yeah, our book is available at all the bookstores
you can think of, like Barnesand Nobles and Walmart and
Target and all that good stuff,and it's available on Amazon.
We prefer you buy it from us atnobodycaresbookcom.
And the reason we want you tobuy it from us besides we make a
few more bucks at it is thereality that you then become
(33:01):
part of our community.
We want to hear about you.
We want you to take theassessment online.
We want you to share yourresults with us, take a
screenshot or send us the PDFand say here's my results,
here's the journey I'm on.
Tell us your story, we'll prayfor you.
Results here's the journey I'mon.
Tell us your story, we'll prayfor you.
We want to encourage you.
We'll send you emails.
We'll keep in our distributionlist.
So we want to talk.
We want to build a community ofpeople who are sharing the
(33:21):
results of living a life ofaccountability.
So we prefer you buy it from usthat way.
As far as your podcast, Icreated a special link that if
you can go to nobodycarespodcom,then you can put in the code
word DORSEY and then, if you putin the code word, I will mail
(33:41):
you a copy of my book for freefor the first two people who
fill out that contact form, andI wanted to do that because I
wanted you to be able to connectwith some of your listeners and
reward those loyal fans whostayed to the end of your
podcast and give them a chance.
If you really want the book andyou're really going to read it
and you're really going to applyit to your life, I will send
you an autographed copy of ourbook and encourage you in your
(34:03):
journey.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much forthat.
And one last question I like toask my guests is can you give
us one last encouragement for mylisteners?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
The thing that has been on my heart lately is don't
be lazy.
I don't think we think ofourselves as lazy.
Remember responsible is doingsomething, but accountable is
doing what is required, what isthe thing you should be doing,
and so don't be lazy.
Lazy means you know you shoulddo something, but you don't do
it.
The Bible says a sluggardcraves for much and accomplishes
(34:41):
nothing.
And I think in my own life, oneof the reasons why I don't have
everything the way I want it isbecause I'm lazy.
I know I should floss.
I don't want to floss, I'mtired.
Forget it.
That's lazy.
I know I should eat threeservings of vegetables a day.
Ah, I know I should eat threeservings of vegetables a day.
Ah, that's too much work.
I'll have a taco.
That's lazy.
I know I should be saving thismuch each month, yeah, but I'd
(35:02):
rather go to the beach and dothat.
That's lazy.
There's so many things that wedo that we're just lazy about it
, and the lazy man gets nothing.
The lazy person ends up withwhatever they get, and I don't
want to get whatever I get.
I want to get what I want, andwhat I want is a solid marriage,
kids who love Jesus, friendsthat are there for me when I
(35:23):
need them, great relationshipsin the business community and,
most of all, a Lord who ispleased with the life that I've
lived.
So don't be lazy.
Up your game, get it done.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Amen.
Well, thank you, Robert, forcoming on the show again today.
We greatly appreciate havingyou.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
It's been nice to talk with you, Dorsey.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Well, guys and girls, thank you so much for coming on
and listening again today.
I hope you are encouraged andinspired by what Robert had to
say and please go and check outhis website and his book.
I hope you buy and pick it up.
And please like and share thispodcast and go and check out my
(36:09):
website and my podcast and,until next time, have a great
day.
Bye-bye.
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