May 7, 2025 • 29 mins
What happens when life defies all your expectations and forces you to navigate one impossible challenge after another? Karen Dittman knows this reality all too well.
Karen's extraordinary parenting journey spans over 25 years, bookended by infertility struggles and a shocking pregnancy at age 46. In between, she's navigated what she calls "the five A's" with her children: adoption, anxiety, ADHD, autism, and addiction. Perhaps most heartbreaking was the period when her daughter disappeared into addiction, leaving behind a three-year-old child and Karen wondering if she was alive or dead.
With remarkable vulnerability, Karen shares the painful lessons she learned during these dark days. "I was going to help her, fix her, fight this battle," she recalls thinking about her daughter's addiction, "but that was my mistake. It wasn't ever my battle to fight." This profound realization – that we cannot fight others' battles for them – serves as a beacon for anyone loving someone through addiction or mental health challenges.
Karen's story isn't just about surviving difficulty but finding ways to thrive through it. She offers practical wisdom for those in similar situations: find your community of people who truly understand without judgment, and make time for spiritual renewal daily, even if it's just "seven minutes with Jesus." These practices sustained her when hope seemed impossible.
The beauty of Karen's testimony lies in its resolution – her daughter has now been sober for nearly two years, is working, has her own place, and is rebuilding her relationship with her child. It's living proof that even our most desperate situations can transform.
Karen and her husband Michael have channeled their experiences into their book "Thriving in Grace: Unleashing Wellness from a Biblical Perspective," written during the very trials they were enduring. Visit karenadittman.com to connect with Karen and discover more about finding peace amid your own chaos.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello everyone, thank you again for joining me on
another episode of the Dorserosshow.
Today we have a special guestwith us.
Her name is Karen Dittman andher journey as a mom.
Karen has supported her kidsthrough the five big A's
Adoption, anxiety, adhd, autismand addiction.
(00:26):
More than 25 years of parentinghas been bookended by
infertility on one side andconceiving a surprise bio-child
in her mid-40s.
She has also been raising oneof her grandchildren.
(00:47):
You might say she has seen itall and not so survived.
To tell this story, karen haslearned to thrive, not just in
spite of it all, but because ofit all.
Karen and her husband Michaelhave co-authored Thriving, angry
, unrelenting Wellness from aBiblical Perspective and the
(01:12):
Fruit of Gratitude.
Together they hope to live longenough to experience having an
empty nest.
Karen brings hope for you tofind you can thrive and be at
peace in the midst of your ownchaotic life.
Karen, thank you so much forcoming on the show today.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Thank you so much for having me today.
Dorsey, Definitely.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'd like to open up with an icebreaker question.
Today's icebreaker question iswhat's a fun fact about you that
most people don't know?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Hmm, a fun fact about me that most people don't know.
I was on a swim team when I wasa kid and like really young.
I learned when I was probablyfive years old to swim the
length of the pool and so I didswim team from when I was like
(02:11):
five to about seven years old.
Not too many people know thatabout me, Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
What has had the most profound impact in your life?
Impact in your life.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Oh goodness.
Well, I mean meeting Jesus andhaving Jesus in my life, of
course, is huge, but I would saythat a really profound impact
in my life was I got involvedwith a ministry called Women at
the Cross and a friend of mineinvited me to attend a weekend
(02:47):
going on 11, 12 years ago now,and that weekend just like you
can point to a before and afterof who I was and how I showed up
in life with that Women at theCross weekend, that was a
profound turning point for me.
With that Women at the Crossweekend, that was a profound
turning point for me.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Did you grow up in a church and, you know, did you
meet Jesus later in life.
What was that experience?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
like.
I grew up in a church-goingfamily.
It was just what we did.
My parents had grown up goingto church all their lives and
they got married and so we wentto church every Sunday.
But it was just what we did.
So we were part of the CatholicChurch at the time, and in the
(03:33):
1970s the charismatic movementswept through the Catholic
Church and my mom also, at thesame time, had a co-worker who
came to Christ and shared withher about salvation, about Jesus
, about having Him in her lifepersonally, and so she trusted
(03:56):
in Jesus as her Savior at thatpoint.
And then she started telling—Iwas the oldest in our family,
oldest of three kids—and so shestarted telling our family you
need to invite Jesus into yourheart.
And it's so funny because atthat point I felt, you know, my
perspective was what I call thecosmic scales If my good deeds
(04:17):
outweigh my bad deeds, then Godwill be happy and I'll get into
heaven at the end of my life.
And so when she started talkingabout invite Jesus into your
life, my reaction was why do Ineed to do that other thing?
But then I saw God changed her.
He gave her a new capacity forlove that she didn't have before
(04:39):
, and I was 10, 11 years old atthe time, and so it was so
powerful and so real.
I watched her and after about amonth I went oh this is a real
thing.
I went, I want in.
And so I trusted Jesus.
(04:59):
My dad also trusted Jesus aboutthe same time as I did my
younger brother and sister.
They both accepted the Lordalso, but for them it was kind
of like growing up in aChristian family in a different
way than I did.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
What is your favorite Bible verse or quote and why
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I could answer that either way, and what comes to my
mind is actually a favoritemovie quote that I feel like
defines my life.
In the movie Evan Almighty it'sthe one where Evan is a senator
and it kind of parallels Noahand his ark and God tells him to
build an ark and he looks atGod and says but God, building
(05:47):
an ark doesn't fit in my plans.
And God just laughs Just yourplans, your plans.
And that I feel like likereflects my life, because there
have been so many times I'vebeen going through life.
I made my plans, I set what Iwanted to do and God goes your
plans?
(06:07):
Huh, all right, so this is howwe're really going to do it.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Now we can talk more in the next question and get
more into your story.
But what's the most significantchallenge you've faced and how
do you overcome it?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
family.
But I've really been through alot of challenges as a mom.
Our older two kids, as youmentioned earlier, are adopted
and our older daughter, as shegot older, really wrestled with
her identity and also had gotteninto when she was a young teen,
so had gotten into when she wasa young teen, into some very
(07:02):
well, honestly, abusiverelationships with young men,
and so she began from a prettyyoung age numbing her emotions.
She didn't want to feel whatshe was feeling, so she started
using marijuana and alcohol andthen, as she got older and into
high school, it was harder drugsand so by the time she was in
(07:26):
her very late teens, she alsoshe had a baby when she was 17.
And then by the time she was20-ish, she had been in a really
difficult relationship abusiverelationship, honestly and her
boyfriend had broken her noseand then we didn't know that he
(07:48):
was responsible for the brokennose.
There was a whole story aroundthat and she needed surgery to
repair it and as she wasrecovering and she was in a lot
of pain, he said, oh, I've gotsomething I can give you for
that pain.
She didn't know he had givenher fentanyl, so she became
addicted to one of the worstdrugs imaginable these days and
(08:13):
I didn't know this.
So all of this time I washelping care for her daughter
and then one day she asked me ifmy husband and I could just
watch her daughter who was justover three at the time if we
could watch her daughterovernight while she went out
(08:34):
with some friends.
And so we said yes, and so sheleft.
And then she didn't come back,and every few days, and then it
started stretching out to everyfew weeks, she would text and
say oh, I'm okay, I'll be comingback.
But then she didn't come backand it was a couple of months
(08:55):
before she returned, and duringthat time we had to file for
guardianship of ourgranddaughter and the hardest
thing about that for me was justthe anxiety of you know, she
just left and said she was goingto go spend the night in a
hotel.
I didn't know what was going on, I didn't know the backstory, I
didn't know about the addictionand the boyfriend and that she
(09:19):
was following him.
So I started making up all ofthese stories in my own head.
There was so much anxiety I wasdealing with.
I imagined that you know, shemust have been trafficked.
And how could we help andrescue her out of that.
And then I was like, oh, youknow, she was able to reach out
to me and send me messages.
(09:40):
So I was like, okay, so itcan't be all that, it can't be
as bad as that.
But maybe, you know, she's beenforced into some situation
where she's with people who aremaking drugs in a lab and you
know she's in a meth lab andshe's being forced and she's
being held against her will andshe still can't get out.
And then eventually there was along period where I just didn't
(10:01):
hear from her at all and Ithought she's dead.
She's dead and somebody's youknow, we live in Colorado near
the mountains I thoughtsomebody's probably dumped her
body in the mountains and we'llnever know.
And by God's grace that wasn'twhat had happened.
And she, despite everything shewent through, she managed to
survive it all.
(10:22):
But for me it was so hard as amom.
And then, when she did comehome and told us what was going
on and asked for help with theaddiction, we helped her get
into a recovery program.
But then there's a very typicalrecovery and relapse cycle, or
rehab and relapse cycle, thatshe fell into.
(10:42):
And so for me I was just likeI'm going to help her, I'm going
to fix her, I'm going to helpher fight this battle, and that
was my mistake, because itwasn't ever my battle to fight,
it was always her battle tofight and I could never do
anything about it until she wasready to fight that battle on
her own.
(11:03):
So that was a really, reallyhard, hard season for me, and,
of course, it was all 2020, 2021, the whole COVID pandemic and
life was already stressful andout of the ordinary to begin
with.
So I think that answered yourquestion about one of the
hardest seasons I've beenthrough.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, I can imagine.
Did you, you know, file anypolice reports?
Did you alert the authorities?
What was that background?
Did you alert the authorities?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
What was that background?
We did get in touch with thepolice at one point and they
were like I think they kind ofhad a clue that I didn't of what
must have been going on.
They were like well, so youkind of have an idea of what
city she's in, Okay, so we'lljust notify the police there.
If she has any encounter withthe police there, then they'll
let her know to get in touchwith you.
(12:01):
That was about it.
So we couldn't really file amissing persons report, even
though I was just like we haveto find her, we have to bring
her home, we have to rescue her.
But again, that wasn't what.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
God wanted and that wasn't what she needed at that
time.
You mentioned about the fiveA's that you deal with.
Can you tell us about the fiveA's that your kids have?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
faced.
Yeah, yeah.
So I mentioned that my oldesttwo are adopted and so we've had
to walk with them through theirlives, some hard questions
about identity and who they areand their story of adoption, and
then anxiety.
My older daughter anxiety waspart of her story and one of the
(12:53):
things that she felt like sheneeded to numb and one of the
things that she felt like sheneeded to numb Also just even in
the beginning of the COVIDpandemic her anxiety kind of
went through the roof with allof the what-ifs and all of the
stories of what was going on inthe outside world was really
triggered a lot of anxiety forher.
Also, my younger daughter in mystory that I had a baby in my
(13:16):
mid-40s, so she is dealing withsignificant anxiety and a lot
that she and her generation havebeen through in the last 10
years has been really hard.
My older son was diagnosed withADHD when he was 19.
And it was a if I only knewthen what I knew now kind of
(13:39):
moment for me, because I didn'trealize a lot of his difficult
behaviors when he was a childwere related to ADHD and I
thought this is just, you know,a kid who's got a lot of energy
or he just has a lot of angerand didn't know what to do with
(14:00):
it.
So I was sad when I realized hehad ADHD, grateful at that time
he could get some help andsupport, but also wished that I
had known when he was youngerthat we could have supported him
maybe a little bit differentlyand had different expectations.
And then our granddaughter, whowe've been raising, has been
(14:22):
diagnosed with autism.
So we've dealt with a wholerange, all of these
neurodivergent issues andstruggles, and they're still
very live and very real rightnow too.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
What advice would you give to someone that is dealing
with similarities like yours?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah, A couple of things.
To somebody who's dealing witha lot of family stress and a lot
of the things that I've beendealing with, I would say one
you are not alone and there areother people who are going
through it.
So it's so important to findsupport and find your community,
(15:11):
find your people who understand.
There are a lot of people youcan talk to and they'll be, and
they don't understand it.
They're like oh, okay, it'll beokay, you're going to be okay.
But the people who are reallyin it, who have got children,
who are dealing withneurological issues, they
understand.
And so I would say find thepeople who get it and who
(15:34):
understand you and who arewilling to support you and just
even listen to you, withoutdismissing, without judging your
response or your kids.
Just listen and accept thatthis is where you are.
So the first thing I would sayis find support.
The second thing I would say isfind ways to take care of your
(15:54):
own heart, even if it is assimple as taking five, seven
minutes.
Hide in your bedroom and justbe quiet and be still and find
the presence of Jesus with you.
I've been really kind ofpreaching this thing a little
(16:18):
bit lately to just I'm callingit seven minutes with Jesus, and
it doesn't matter if you arepraying, if you are crying, if
you are just quiet and doingnothing and saying nothing, or
if you are reading your Bible orjust like.
I'm just sitting here andfeeling him holding me in his
(16:40):
arms.
That seven minutes a day can bereally, really restorative to
our souls and to our minds,because our brains will just
keep spinning.
So that would be the two thingsthat I would recommend.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Has your church helped you at all with either?
You know what you went throughwith your daughter and now you
know having to.
You know having to deal to takecare of your granddaughter and
also what you've been throughwith your other children.
Has the church helped you withthat at?
Speaker 2 (17:19):
all.
So the answer is kind of no andyes, the church we were part of
when our older kids weregrowing up, as they got older,
there was a very strongexpectation of a certain level
of behavior, a certain type ofbehavior from kids.
So youth group leaders actuallypushed our daughter away
(17:42):
because she was offending theother kids in the youth group
with some of her behaviors andso they kind of pushed her away
and the kids were offended.
The youth group leaders didn'tknow what to do but they're like
no, we can't have this kind ofbehavior here.
And then, as she was older, inher late teens and early 20s and
(18:06):
the more active addiction, wejust weren't in a church
situation.
And again, I'm not sure if wewere even going to church at the
time because 2020, 2021.
So actually I was part of aBible study at that time and I
found that and it was an onlineBible study, so we were meeting
(18:29):
on Zoom, but there were some ofthe women in that Bible study
who were incredibly supportiveto me and so that was helpful.
Where we are now, we're part ofa very small house church and
everybody is super supportiveand loving and we're like a big,
(18:49):
extended family.
So when we show up with ourdaughter and our granddaughter,
everybody's like I love you, hi,you're here, and they just love
our kids as much as we do, andit's such a beautiful situation
for us.
So we're getting a ton ofsupport from our church right
now, had some support when wewere going through the roughest
(19:12):
season with my daughter, I hadsome support.
I'm not sure that my husbandhad any support at that time,
though.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
It sounds like when you had your biological child in
your mid-40s.
It sounds like that was asurprise and maybe a little
shock as well.
What was that?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
like oh my goodness, that was a huge shock.
I had no idea that I waspregnant because I thought that
in my life not expecting to getpregnant, thinking other changes
are happening in my body.
But our family had been onvacation and we came home and I
just wasn't feeling great.
And my husband one day said doyou think maybe you should take
(19:55):
a pregnancy test?
I was like no, no, I just needto get back on my normal styles
of eating.
I've been eating ice cream allthe time.
I just need to kind of get backto more healthy stuff.
He's like are you sure?
I was like okay, fine, just toset your mind at ease, I'll go
ahead and take this test.
Why don't you run down to thedrugstore and get one?
And so, of course, it came backpositive.
(20:17):
I was just like in such shock,how could I be pregnant now, at
46?
But here I am.
After you know, we had a very,very clear infertility diagnosis
20 plus years earlier.
So, like I said, god has asense of humor and I thought I
had the rest of you know, myfamily life figured out.
(20:39):
But he had a different plan.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
My mom was 41 when she found out that she was
pregnant with me and you knowthe same thing.
You know like you're sayingthere.
You know she was probablythinking a similar situation oh,
it's a tumor, it's this, it'sthat, you know, yeah.
And she went to the doctor andthe doctor said well, it's not a
(21:02):
tumor, but you are expecting.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
There's something going on in there Exactly.
It's a good thing.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
If you could start a rumor about yourself, what?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
would it be If I could start a rumor about myself
?
That is a great question.
That is a great question.
I would almost want to giveeverybody a laugh by starting a
rumor that I was having anotherbaby.
People were already shockedenough.
(21:37):
It was right before our 25thanniversary and we announced we
were having a baby.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
How do you cope and this can go back to your story
as well how do you cope with theuncertainties of life?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
That is something that God has taught me, and I
talk about this idea of justspending seven minutes with
Jesus when life is uncertain.
I just have to trust that andI've learned this that God has
got it, he's in control, he'sgot a plan and I don't see the
(22:16):
end, but I know that he'sworking it out and he's doing
something good, and I always I'mat a point in my life now where
I can look back and say, okay,we've been through the hard
stuff and we've seen God comethrough, and again we're in
another hard season because myFather is looking out for me,
(22:37):
and then I just really am makinga point of spending time just
knowing that Jesus is with me,very intentionally, being in His
presence every day.
Amen, how's your daughter doingnow?
(23:00):
She's doing really well.
Her story took some interestingturns, but she was able to
really reconnect with God, hadsome people who were able to
assure her you're not too fargone.
Jesus loves you.
He never let go of you.
God still loves you, and so shereturned to her faith.
(23:26):
She has been sober for well overa year and a half.
It'll be two years come May.
So she's been sober for it'llbe two years in May.
She has a job.
She is working, actually as amanager at a gas station.
So she's working, she has herown place.
She is re-engaging with herdaughter.
(23:46):
Her daughter doesn't live withher because right now, with
going to school and all of that,that's just within our
neighborhood and our world.
But they're spending timetogether, they're re-engaging,
they are enjoying each other'scompany and it's just amazing to
see how God has turned thingsaround.
(24:08):
There was a time when Icouldn't even pray because I
couldn't bear to hold on to hope, but plenty of other people
were praying for her and prayingfor us and God has answered
those prayers.
It is a beautiful thing and Godhas answered those prayers.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
It is a beautiful thing.
What one question you with.
I asked you and how you haveanswered that question, Hmm, Hmm
.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I suppose I might.
I don't know.
I suppose I might like to talka tiny bit about the book that I
just put out in November, ifthat's okay, because it's called
Thriving in Grace UnleashingWellness from a Biblical
Perspective, and it is a bookthat I started.
My husband and I actuallystarted working on Together in
(24:58):
2020.
And it took me three and a halfyears to write the book.
As I was writing it, we weregoing through all of these
really, really hard things inour lives, and I learned that,
(25:21):
as I'm writing something that Iwant others to understand, god's
going to call me to live it too.
So, as I encourage other peopleto rely on God's grace to
overcome the impossible in mylife and their lives, god showed
me he was able to do the samething in my life in my life,
(25:46):
amen.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
As we get ready to end here, can you give my
listeners a word of knowledge,or word of wisdom and
encouragement to those who arelistening and maybe you know
there's a parent out there thatyou know dealing with the same
thing that you dealt with, oreven maybe someone that's
struggling with their addictionthat's hearing your story.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I would just leave your listeners with the reality
and the truth that even whenlife is hard, even when it feels
utterly impossible, that doesnot mean that God has given up
on you.
It does not mean he doesn'tlove you, because he does love
(26:29):
you desperately and more thananything.
He longs for you to just fallinto His arms and let Him show
you His love.
And no matter how things workout, whether they work out
beautifully, like my story seemsto have, or if they don't work
(26:51):
out with a bow and a happyending, god still loves you and
that is the most important thingyou can ever hold on to.
Amen.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Well, Karen, thank you so much for coming on the
show today.
We greatly appreciate havingyou.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Thank you, dorsey, I so appreciate the opportunity to
chat with you today.
Thanks, Definitely.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Well, guys and girls, thank you so much for coming on
the show and listening, andwhere can we get your book?
And, you know, do you have awebsite that people can check
out?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Find all my resources and links directly to my books
is my website, karenadittmancom.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And so you can get in touch with me that way.
Thank you so much and, guys andgirls, until next time, please
go and like Karen's informationand go and check out my website
and my past and future episodeson there as well, and please
like and share this episode.
God bless, bye-bye.
Hello everyone, thank you again for joining me on
another episode of the Dorserosshow.
Today we have a special guestwith us.
Her name is Karen Dittman andher journey as a mom.
Karen has supported her kidsthrough the five big A's
Adoption, anxiety, adhd, autismand addiction.
(00:26):
More than 25 years of parentinghas been bookended by
infertility on one side andconceiving a surprise bio-child
in her mid-40s.
She has also been raising oneof her grandchildren.
(00:47):
You might say she has seen itall and not so survived.
To tell this story, karen haslearned to thrive, not just in
spite of it all, but because ofit all.
Karen and her husband Michaelhave co-authored Thriving, angry
, unrelenting Wellness from aBiblical Perspective and the
(01:12):
Fruit of Gratitude.
Together they hope to live longenough to experience having an
empty nest.
Karen brings hope for you tofind you can thrive and be at
peace in the midst of your ownchaotic life.
Karen, thank you so much forcoming on the show today.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Thank you so much for having me today.
Dorsey, Definitely.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'd like to open up with an icebreaker question.
Today's icebreaker question iswhat's a fun fact about you that
most people don't know?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Hmm, a fun fact about me that most people don't know.
I was on a swim team when I wasa kid and like really young.
I learned when I was probablyfive years old to swim the
length of the pool and so I didswim team from when I was like
(02:11):
five to about seven years old.
Not too many people know thatabout me, Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
What has had the most profound impact in your life?
Impact in your life.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Oh goodness.
Well, I mean meeting Jesus andhaving Jesus in my life, of
course, is huge, but I would saythat a really profound impact
in my life was I got involvedwith a ministry called Women at
the Cross and a friend of mineinvited me to attend a weekend
(02:47):
going on 11, 12 years ago now,and that weekend just like you
can point to a before and afterof who I was and how I showed up
in life with that Women at theCross weekend, that was a
profound turning point for me.
With that Women at the Crossweekend, that was a profound
turning point for me.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Did you grow up in a church and, you know, did you
meet Jesus later in life.
What was that experience?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
like.
I grew up in a church-goingfamily.
It was just what we did.
My parents had grown up goingto church all their lives and
they got married and so we wentto church every Sunday.
But it was just what we did.
So we were part of the CatholicChurch at the time, and in the
(03:33):
1970s the charismatic movementswept through the Catholic
Church and my mom also, at thesame time, had a co-worker who
came to Christ and shared withher about salvation, about Jesus
, about having Him in her lifepersonally, and so she trusted
(03:56):
in Jesus as her Savior at thatpoint.
And then she started telling—Iwas the oldest in our family,
oldest of three kids—and so shestarted telling our family you
need to invite Jesus into yourheart.
And it's so funny because atthat point I felt, you know, my
perspective was what I call thecosmic scales If my good deeds
(04:17):
outweigh my bad deeds, then Godwill be happy and I'll get into
heaven at the end of my life.
And so when she started talkingabout invite Jesus into your
life, my reaction was why do Ineed to do that other thing?
But then I saw God changed her.
He gave her a new capacity forlove that she didn't have before
(04:39):
, and I was 10, 11 years old atthe time, and so it was so
powerful and so real.
I watched her and after about amonth I went oh this is a real
thing.
I went, I want in.
And so I trusted Jesus.
(04:59):
My dad also trusted Jesus aboutthe same time as I did my
younger brother and sister.
They both accepted the Lordalso, but for them it was kind
of like growing up in aChristian family in a different
way than I did.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
What is your favorite Bible verse or quote and why
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I could answer that either way, and what comes to my
mind is actually a favoritemovie quote that I feel like
defines my life.
In the movie Evan Almighty it'sthe one where Evan is a senator
and it kind of parallels Noahand his ark and God tells him to
build an ark and he looks atGod and says but God, building
(05:47):
an ark doesn't fit in my plans.
And God just laughs Just yourplans, your plans.
And that I feel like likereflects my life, because there
have been so many times I'vebeen going through life.
I made my plans, I set what Iwanted to do and God goes your
plans?
(06:07):
Huh, all right, so this is howwe're really going to do it.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Now we can talk more in the next question and get
more into your story.
But what's the most significantchallenge you've faced and how
do you overcome it?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
family.
But I've really been through alot of challenges as a mom.
Our older two kids, as youmentioned earlier, are adopted
and our older daughter, as shegot older, really wrestled with
her identity and also had gotteninto when she was a young teen,
so had gotten into when she wasa young teen, into some very
(07:02):
well, honestly, abusiverelationships with young men,
and so she began from a prettyyoung age numbing her emotions.
She didn't want to feel whatshe was feeling, so she started
using marijuana and alcohol andthen, as she got older and into
high school, it was harder drugsand so by the time she was in
(07:26):
her very late teens, she alsoshe had a baby when she was 17.
And then by the time she was20-ish, she had been in a really
difficult relationship abusiverelationship, honestly and her
boyfriend had broken her noseand then we didn't know that he
(07:48):
was responsible for the brokennose.
There was a whole story aroundthat and she needed surgery to
repair it and as she wasrecovering and she was in a lot
of pain, he said, oh, I've gotsomething I can give you for
that pain.
She didn't know he had givenher fentanyl, so she became
addicted to one of the worstdrugs imaginable these days and
(08:13):
I didn't know this.
So all of this time I washelping care for her daughter
and then one day she asked me ifmy husband and I could just
watch her daughter who was justover three at the time if we
could watch her daughterovernight while she went out
(08:34):
with some friends.
And so we said yes, and so sheleft.
And then she didn't come back,and every few days, and then it
started stretching out to everyfew weeks, she would text and
say oh, I'm okay, I'll be comingback.
But then she didn't come backand it was a couple of months
(08:55):
before she returned, and duringthat time we had to file for
guardianship of ourgranddaughter and the hardest
thing about that for me was justthe anxiety of you know, she
just left and said she was goingto go spend the night in a
hotel.
I didn't know what was going on, I didn't know the backstory, I
didn't know about the addictionand the boyfriend and that she
(09:19):
was following him.
So I started making up all ofthese stories in my own head.
There was so much anxiety I wasdealing with.
I imagined that you know, shemust have been trafficked.
And how could we help andrescue her out of that.
And then I was like, oh, youknow, she was able to reach out
to me and send me messages.
(09:40):
So I was like, okay, so itcan't be all that, it can't be
as bad as that.
But maybe, you know, she's beenforced into some situation
where she's with people who aremaking drugs in a lab and you
know she's in a meth lab andshe's being forced and she's
being held against her will andshe still can't get out.
And then eventually there was along period where I just didn't
(10:01):
hear from her at all and Ithought she's dead.
She's dead and somebody's youknow, we live in Colorado near
the mountains I thoughtsomebody's probably dumped her
body in the mountains and we'llnever know.
And by God's grace that wasn'twhat had happened.
And she, despite everything shewent through, she managed to
survive it all.
(10:22):
But for me it was so hard as amom.
And then, when she did comehome and told us what was going
on and asked for help with theaddiction, we helped her get
into a recovery program.
But then there's a very typicalrecovery and relapse cycle, or
rehab and relapse cycle, thatshe fell into.
(10:42):
And so for me I was just likeI'm going to help her, I'm going
to fix her, I'm going to helpher fight this battle, and that
was my mistake, because itwasn't ever my battle to fight,
it was always her battle tofight and I could never do
anything about it until she wasready to fight that battle on
her own.
(11:03):
So that was a really, reallyhard, hard season for me, and,
of course, it was all 2020, 2021, the whole COVID pandemic and
life was already stressful andout of the ordinary to begin
with.
So I think that answered yourquestion about one of the
hardest seasons I've beenthrough.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, I can imagine.
Did you, you know, file anypolice reports?
Did you alert the authorities?
What was that background?
Did you alert the authorities?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
What was that background?
We did get in touch with thepolice at one point and they
were like I think they kind ofhad a clue that I didn't of what
must have been going on.
They were like well, so youkind of have an idea of what
city she's in, Okay, so we'lljust notify the police there.
If she has any encounter withthe police there, then they'll
let her know to get in touchwith you.
(12:01):
That was about it.
So we couldn't really file amissing persons report, even
though I was just like we haveto find her, we have to bring
her home, we have to rescue her.
But again, that wasn't what.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
God wanted and that wasn't what she needed at that
time.
You mentioned about the fiveA's that you deal with.
Can you tell us about the fiveA's that your kids have?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
faced.
Yeah, yeah.
So I mentioned that my oldesttwo are adopted and so we've had
to walk with them through theirlives, some hard questions
about identity and who they areand their story of adoption, and
then anxiety.
My older daughter anxiety waspart of her story and one of the
(12:53):
things that she felt like sheneeded to numb and one of the
things that she felt like sheneeded to numb Also just even in
the beginning of the COVIDpandemic her anxiety kind of
went through the roof with allof the what-ifs and all of the
stories of what was going on inthe outside world was really
triggered a lot of anxiety forher.
Also, my younger daughter in mystory that I had a baby in my
(13:16):
mid-40s, so she is dealing withsignificant anxiety and a lot
that she and her generation havebeen through in the last 10
years has been really hard.
My older son was diagnosed withADHD when he was 19.
And it was a if I only knewthen what I knew now kind of
(13:39):
moment for me, because I didn'trealize a lot of his difficult
behaviors when he was a childwere related to ADHD and I
thought this is just, you know,a kid who's got a lot of energy
or he just has a lot of angerand didn't know what to do with
(14:00):
it.
So I was sad when I realized hehad ADHD, grateful at that time
he could get some help andsupport, but also wished that I
had known when he was youngerthat we could have supported him
maybe a little bit differentlyand had different expectations.
And then our granddaughter, whowe've been raising, has been
(14:22):
diagnosed with autism.
So we've dealt with a wholerange, all of these
neurodivergent issues andstruggles, and they're still
very live and very real rightnow too.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
What advice would you give to someone that is dealing
with similarities like yours?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah, A couple of things.
To somebody who's dealing witha lot of family stress and a lot
of the things that I've beendealing with, I would say one
you are not alone and there areother people who are going
through it.
So it's so important to findsupport and find your community,
(15:11):
find your people who understand.
There are a lot of people youcan talk to and they'll be, and
they don't understand it.
They're like oh, okay, it'll beokay, you're going to be okay.
But the people who are reallyin it, who have got children,
who are dealing withneurological issues, they
understand.
And so I would say find thepeople who get it and who
(15:34):
understand you and who arewilling to support you and just
even listen to you, withoutdismissing, without judging your
response or your kids.
Just listen and accept thatthis is where you are.
So the first thing I would sayis find support.
The second thing I would say isfind ways to take care of your
(15:54):
own heart, even if it is assimple as taking five, seven
minutes.
Hide in your bedroom and justbe quiet and be still and find
the presence of Jesus with you.
I've been really kind ofpreaching this thing a little
(16:18):
bit lately to just I'm callingit seven minutes with Jesus, and
it doesn't matter if you arepraying, if you are crying, if
you are just quiet and doingnothing and saying nothing, or
if you are reading your Bible orjust like.
I'm just sitting here andfeeling him holding me in his
(16:40):
arms.
That seven minutes a day can bereally, really restorative to
our souls and to our minds,because our brains will just
keep spinning.
So that would be the two thingsthat I would recommend.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Has your church helped you at all with either?
You know what you went throughwith your daughter and now you
know having to.
You know having to deal to takecare of your granddaughter and
also what you've been throughwith your other children.
Has the church helped you withthat at?
Speaker 2 (17:19):
all.
So the answer is kind of no andyes, the church we were part of
when our older kids weregrowing up, as they got older,
there was a very strongexpectation of a certain level
of behavior, a certain type ofbehavior from kids.
So youth group leaders actuallypushed our daughter away
(17:42):
because she was offending theother kids in the youth group
with some of her behaviors andso they kind of pushed her away
and the kids were offended.
The youth group leaders didn'tknow what to do but they're like
no, we can't have this kind ofbehavior here.
And then, as she was older, inher late teens and early 20s and
(18:06):
the more active addiction, wejust weren't in a church
situation.
And again, I'm not sure if wewere even going to church at the
time because 2020, 2021.
So actually I was part of aBible study at that time and I
found that and it was an onlineBible study, so we were meeting
(18:29):
on Zoom, but there were some ofthe women in that Bible study
who were incredibly supportiveto me and so that was helpful.
Where we are now, we're part ofa very small house church and
everybody is super supportiveand loving and we're like a big,
(18:49):
extended family.
So when we show up with ourdaughter and our granddaughter,
everybody's like I love you, hi,you're here, and they just love
our kids as much as we do, andit's such a beautiful situation
for us.
So we're getting a ton ofsupport from our church right
now, had some support when wewere going through the roughest
(19:12):
season with my daughter, I hadsome support.
I'm not sure that my husbandhad any support at that time,
though.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
It sounds like when you had your biological child in
your mid-40s.
It sounds like that was asurprise and maybe a little
shock as well.
What was that?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
like oh my goodness, that was a huge shock.
I had no idea that I waspregnant because I thought that
in my life not expecting to getpregnant, thinking other changes
are happening in my body.
But our family had been onvacation and we came home and I
just wasn't feeling great.
And my husband one day said doyou think maybe you should take
(19:55):
a pregnancy test?
I was like no, no, I just needto get back on my normal styles
of eating.
I've been eating ice cream allthe time.
I just need to kind of get backto more healthy stuff.
He's like are you sure?
I was like okay, fine, just toset your mind at ease, I'll go
ahead and take this test.
Why don't you run down to thedrugstore and get one?
And so, of course, it came backpositive.
(20:17):
I was just like in such shock,how could I be pregnant now, at
46?
But here I am.
After you know, we had a very,very clear infertility diagnosis
20 plus years earlier.
So, like I said, god has asense of humor and I thought I
had the rest of you know, myfamily life figured out.
(20:39):
But he had a different plan.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
My mom was 41 when she found out that she was
pregnant with me and you knowthe same thing.
You know like you're sayingthere.
You know she was probablythinking a similar situation oh,
it's a tumor, it's this, it'sthat, you know, yeah.
And she went to the doctor andthe doctor said well, it's not a
(21:02):
tumor, but you are expecting.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
There's something going on in there Exactly.
It's a good thing.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
If you could start a rumor about yourself, what?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
would it be If I could start a rumor about myself
?
That is a great question.
That is a great question.
I would almost want to giveeverybody a laugh by starting a
rumor that I was having anotherbaby.
People were already shockedenough.
(21:37):
It was right before our 25thanniversary and we announced we
were having a baby.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
How do you cope and this can go back to your story
as well how do you cope with theuncertainties of life?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
That is something that God has taught me, and I
talk about this idea of justspending seven minutes with
Jesus when life is uncertain.
I just have to trust that andI've learned this that God has
got it, he's in control, he'sgot a plan and I don't see the
(22:16):
end, but I know that he'sworking it out and he's doing
something good, and I always I'mat a point in my life now where
I can look back and say, okay,we've been through the hard
stuff and we've seen God comethrough, and again we're in
another hard season because myFather is looking out for me,
(22:37):
and then I just really am makinga point of spending time just
knowing that Jesus is with me,very intentionally, being in His
presence every day.
Amen, how's your daughter doingnow?
(23:00):
She's doing really well.
Her story took some interestingturns, but she was able to
really reconnect with God, hadsome people who were able to
assure her you're not too fargone.
Jesus loves you.
He never let go of you.
God still loves you, and so shereturned to her faith.
(23:26):
She has been sober for well overa year and a half.
It'll be two years come May.
So she's been sober for it'llbe two years in May.
She has a job.
She is working, actually as amanager at a gas station.
So she's working, she has herown place.
She is re-engaging with herdaughter.
(23:46):
Her daughter doesn't live withher because right now, with
going to school and all of that,that's just within our
neighborhood and our world.
But they're spending timetogether, they're re-engaging,
they are enjoying each other'scompany and it's just amazing to
see how God has turned thingsaround.
(24:08):
There was a time when Icouldn't even pray because I
couldn't bear to hold on to hope, but plenty of other people
were praying for her and prayingfor us and God has answered
those prayers.
It is a beautiful thing and Godhas answered those prayers.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
It is a beautiful thing.
What one question you with.
I asked you and how you haveanswered that question, Hmm, Hmm
.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I suppose I might.
I don't know.
I suppose I might like to talka tiny bit about the book that I
just put out in November, ifthat's okay, because it's called
Thriving in Grace UnleashingWellness from a Biblical
Perspective, and it is a bookthat I started.
My husband and I actuallystarted working on Together in
(24:58):
2020.
And it took me three and a halfyears to write the book.
As I was writing it, we weregoing through all of these
really, really hard things inour lives, and I learned that,
(25:21):
as I'm writing something that Iwant others to understand, god's
going to call me to live it too.
So, as I encourage other peopleto rely on God's grace to
overcome the impossible in mylife and their lives, god showed
me he was able to do the samething in my life in my life,
(25:46):
amen.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
As we get ready to end here, can you give my
listeners a word of knowledge,or word of wisdom and
encouragement to those who arelistening and maybe you know
there's a parent out there thatyou know dealing with the same
thing that you dealt with, oreven maybe someone that's
struggling with their addictionthat's hearing your story.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I would just leave your listeners with the reality
and the truth that even whenlife is hard, even when it feels
utterly impossible, that doesnot mean that God has given up
on you.
It does not mean he doesn'tlove you, because he does love
(26:29):
you desperately and more thananything.
He longs for you to just fallinto His arms and let Him show
you His love.
And no matter how things workout, whether they work out
beautifully, like my story seemsto have, or if they don't work
(26:51):
out with a bow and a happyending, god still loves you and
that is the most important thingyou can ever hold on to.
Amen.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Well, Karen, thank you so much for coming on the
show today.
We greatly appreciate havingyou.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Thank you, dorsey, I so appreciate the opportunity to
chat with you today.
Thanks, Definitely.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Well, guys and girls, thank you so much for coming on
the show and listening, andwhere can we get your book?
And, you know, do you have awebsite that people can check
out?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Find all my resources and links directly to my books
is my website, karenadittmancom.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And so you can get in touch with me that way.
Thank you so much and, guys andgirls, until next time, please
go and like Karen's informationand go and check out my website
and my past and future episodeson there as well, and please
like and share this episode.
God bless, bye-bye.
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