February 26, 2025 • 33 mins
What if overcoming addiction was more about healing emotional wounds than breaking habits? Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Timothy Reigle, the founder of Into the Wilderness Ministries, as we uncover his transformative journey from a youth entangled in rebellion and addiction to becoming a beacon of hope and recovery. Timothy shares deeply personal insights into how his struggles with pornography and sex addiction affected his life and marriage, and the pivotal role that faith and community support played in his healing process.
Throughout our discussion, Timothy sheds light on the pervasive issue of pornography addiction in today's hyper-sexualized culture, highlighting its damaging effects on relationships and emotional well-being. He passionately calls for Christian men to seek both spiritual and professional support, urging open dialogue within church settings. Discover how building supportive networks and embracing the healing power of Christ can help break the cycle of addiction and lead to lasting transformation.
We also explore the challenges of masculinity within the church, addressing the need for strong, godly male leadership and the impact of feeling disconnected from spiritual teachings. Timothy's story emphasizes the importance of community and accountability, encouraging men to reclaim their roles as leaders within their families and faith communities. With practical guidance and a message of hope, this episode reminds us that we are not alone in our battles and that healing and transformation are within reach.
Timothy Reigle's website
https://intothewildernessblog.com/coaching/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, thank you again for joining me on
another episode of the DorsiRose Show.
Today we have a special guestwith us.
His name is Timothy Regal.
He is the founder of Into theWilderness Ministries.
He is the author of the bookMen challenge to renew your
(00:25):
faith, restore your masculinityand re-energize your family and
living porn-free 10 steps torecovery, redemption and renewal
.
As a coach, author andpodcaster, he has used his own
(00:45):
experience in defeatingaddiction to help hundreds of
men to overcome their addictionto porn and sex, save their
marriages and become better,stronger, godly Men.
He's also a licensed funeraldirector, a chaplain, worship
(01:07):
leader and, most importantly, ahusband and father.
He has years of experience inpublic speaking, giving
presentations and appearing onpodcasts.
He also hosts his own podcast,the Into the Waterness Podcast,
with Timothy Riegel.
Tim, thank you so much forcoming on the show today.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Absolutely.
Thanks for having me Definitely.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Well, I usually like to open up with an icebreaker
question.
Sure, Today's icebreakerquestion is would you rather
have a rewind button or a pausebutton for your life?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Wow, that's a tough one.
That's a tough one, I would say, probably a pause button.
Reason being is that my kidsare teenagers now and I'd love
to pause a little bit.
You know I don't want to rewind.
I have no regrets in my lifeand God has brought me through
things, and so I wouldn't rewindand change anything.
But sometimes I would like toslow it down and enjoy the
(02:14):
moment a little bit longer.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Right, yeah, I can see that.
What's something interestingabout you that most people don't
know?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Hmm, that most people don't know.
Hmm, that most people don'tknow.
Well, the most interestingthing about me that most people
think about is that I'm a.
I'm a fuel director, I'm amortician, but that's kind of my
day job.
But a lot of people know thatabout me.
I guess the thing that a lot ofpeople I guess online don't
know about me is I'm an absolutehistory nerd that's obsessed
(02:46):
with Abraham Lincoln.
So I actually have a bust ofLincoln over my shoulder here.
But I'm real big into Lincolnhistory and Civil War history
and, of course, being inPennsylvania like we are,
there's a whole lot of that.
So out in Gettysburg and things.
So that's kind of my hobby andthings that I do.
A lot is American history typeof stuff and especially Lincoln
and Civil War stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Right, what's the last book you read that really
inspired you?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Hmm, I'm trying to think what I'm, what I've been
reading through right now.
I haven't been read.
I normally am a big reader butI haven't been reading too much
because I've been working on myon my new book.
But what I have been readingthrough it's not it's it's.
It's a little bit different,but I'm reading through a
version of the Bible by.
(03:35):
It's a Put together version ofthe Bible in chronological order
, by John MacArthur is called APerfect Life, and so what he did
was take the four gospels andput them into a single narrative
, and so I've been readingthrough that in my daily
scripture reading and it's justbrought an entirely new
(03:56):
perspective on the life of Jesusversus.
You know, you're used to seeingMatthew's account, mark's,
luke's, john's, and to see themall as one single narrative has
been very eye-opening to me forthe life of Christ.
So I am looking to get backinto reading a little bit more.
Like I said, with the lastcouple of months finishing up
the book and stuff, I haven'thad as much time to read as I
(04:16):
would normally do.
But I've been reading throughthat and that's been really
inspiring to me, seeing the lifeof Christ as a single gospel
narrative.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, that sounds interesting.
I'll have to look into that.
Can you, besides what I alreadyread on your bio, can you give
us a little bit more aboutyourself and what you've been
through in your life?
Sure, sure.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
So I grew up in a Christian home, I was raised in
a church home, my father was apastor actually but I got into
as a teenager.
I struggled a little bit, I wasa little bit of a rebellious
guy and kind of just needed tofind my own way, and that took
me down some dark paths.
I got addicted to a porn as ateenager, like a lot of young
(05:02):
men did, and still do,unfortunately and that escalated
as I got older and it got a lotworse and became more frequent
and became more serious.
It jumped into, you know, backthen it was webcams and chat
rooms and stuff like that.
I got married fairly young,thought that would solve
(05:23):
everything and of course itdidn't.
In fact it got worse.
My porn addiction got worse andeventually it made the jump
into physical things where I wasunfaithful to my wife and had a
number of different things.
And you know, I did all the,all the things you're supposed
to do, right.
I knew what I was doing waswrong, but I couldn't stop.
You know, I talked to my pastor, I did counseling, I read all
(05:48):
the books, I did all the Biblestudies.
I did all these things thatyou're quote unquote supposed to
do and none of it helped.
And that continued on for 10,15 years to where I got caught a
few times, but I always kind ofwent back to it and my wife and
I actually separated for almosta year at one point, but we
were able to get back together.
So this continued, you know, onand off for many years I could
(06:11):
never finally completelyovercome it ago and kind of
everything came cumberling downlike I was exposed.
You know all you know, kind ofI got caught and exposed and
everybody knew all my deep,darkest secrets and it was that
time that I got serious help.
(06:32):
There was a man who spoke intomy life and helped me understand
why I was addicted to porn andsex.
It wasn't just that I was this,you know.
It wasn't just that I was thisfilthy pervert that couldn't
control himself.
He helped me understand why,and so he helped me understand
that there was something in mylife that I had learned to use
(06:53):
this as an escape from.
So there was wounds, there wasinsecurities, fears, there was
traumas, and he helped me digdeep and understand that and
that made a difference for meunderstanding why.
It wasn't that I wasn't tryingor I wasn't trying hard enough
(07:14):
or I didn't have the righthabits in place, or anything
like that.
I didn't understand why, and soit was something that I had to
heal from within.
It was a heart issue.
It wasn't a bad habit, it was aheart tissue, and so that
helped me to find freedom in mylife, and at that point,
honestly, I kind of thought youknow, that was it?
Like, hey, you know, I solvedthis problem, I can move on with
my life.
(07:34):
Well, god had different ideas,as he often does, and he laid
the mission on my heart that Ineeded to turn around and help
others through the same darknessthat he had brought me through.
So I started mentoring someyoung men, reaching out to them,
I started being active onlineand writing and posting and
doing all those things, and Godkept opening doors for me, which
(07:57):
eventually led to my first book, which was just a hey, this is
where you start, because a lotof guys have no idea where to
even start when they'restruggling with these type of
things, and so I startedcoaching, and I've been doing
that about five years now.
It's one of those things where,like I said, when we open the
door a little bit, god kicks itwide open, right and has just
(08:18):
given me more and moreopportunities to help and serve
men.
And now, with the newest bookthat I partnered up with my good
friend and brother, jerry Adams, on Men of Grit into the
Wilderness, this has a lot to dowith the man as a whole.
The porn addiction thing haskind of been my niche here for a
while and we're kind of workingon the whole man and what does
it mean to be a biblical man ofGod.
(08:38):
So that book is designed tofocus on all these aspects of
our life, our faith, our family.
And that book is designed tofocus on all these aspects of
our life, our faith, our family,our fitness, our fellowship
with other men, our leadershipand our strength as men, and
designed to build strong, godlyChristian men.
So it's been a heck of ajourney, man.
I mean the Lord has brought methrough a lot and praise him for
(09:00):
that.
And you know most marriageswouldn't have survived what mine
did and you know things couldhave gone wayward in a lot of
different ways, but God isfaithful and brought us through
it and through his grace andforgiveness I'm sitting here
talking to you now.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Amen.
Why do you think so many menare addicted to porn or get
addicted to porn?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Sure, I think it's a number of different things.
I don't think there's one issuewe can really point to
(10:01):
no-transcript.
You had to wait for the dial upinternet and even before then,
you know, I remember when, whenI was a kid, you know I never
went in there, but I remember asa kid there was a video rental
store and there was that creepyroom in the back with the you
know sign on the door that saidadults only or whatever you know
(10:22):
, and so there was.
It was harder to access backthen, and before then it was
magazines and things, so theaccess is so much easier.
Now.
We're in such a hyper-sexualizedculture and I also think that
men aren't learning properly howto deal with things in their
life and which is why they'returning to porn as an escape.
So, like I talked about in myown testimony, like we don't
(10:46):
know, I use porn as a copingmechanism.
Like I said, I wasn't just thisfilthy pervert that couldn't
control himself.
It became my escape, the void Iwas trying to fill.
There was fears I was avoiding,there was things I was trying
to run away from, and so I thinka lot of men, when they're
(11:06):
teenagers now, because this isso readily available.
They're learning to use this tomask pain in their life and so,
without properly ways to dealwith that, they're running more
and more to porn and it'sgetting worse, and then they're
getting addicted, and then it'sjust a vicious cycle that
continues on and on until theylearn how to break it and heal
it from the inside out.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, what damage does porn do?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
There's obvious things and there's not so
obvious things.
The most obvious thing at leastfor a lot of the guys I work
with and things is the damage itdoes to your marriage.
Right, there's betrayal,there's heartache, there's
things that are it's devastatingto many marriages.
My marriage was lucky tosurvive Well, I shouldn't say
(11:52):
lucky, it was God that helped mymarriage survive.
But a lot of marriages don'tsurvive these type of things and
so we know the damage that itdoes to that.
But it's so much deeper thanthat and obviously it's a sinful
thing.
It's lust.
We know that as Christians.
But it's so much more than that.
It's not just that we're abunch of prudish Christians who
don't want to allow anybody tohave any fun.
(12:14):
Right, that's not why we're outhere telling people that porn
is bad and they need to get help.
It damages your relationships.
It damages us individuallybecause, like I said, we're
using it as an escape.
We're using it to run away fromthings and we're not dealing
with those things.
So it's having emotionalproblems.
You know, it's kind of likethat.
(12:36):
Remember when we watchedcartoons as a kid and you watch,
I don't know, looney Tunes orwhatever, and they talked to
that mirage in the desert andyou know Wile E Coyote or
whatever is dying of thirst andhe sees this.
You know desert oasis that'sgoing to quench his thirst, and
he gets there and there'snothing there.
Oasis that's going to quenchhis thirst, and he gets there
and there's nothing there.
That's kind of what it's likewith porn addiction, like it
(12:57):
promises all this escape.
It promises this fantasy, thisfulfillment, this validation.
It promises all these thingsand so we use it to run away, to
escape from things and to copeand to deal with stress and
anxiety.
But when we get there, there'snothing there.
You know king solomon scriptureecclesiastes.
He called it hevel in.
Ecclesiastes was the hebrewword he used.
It's it's grasping after thewind or a mist or a vapor.
(13:18):
We think something's there andthen we go to grab it and it's
gone.
There's nothing there and we'releft worse off than we were
before.
So it damages us on theemotional level.
Instead of providing relief, itactually causes more shame,
more anxiety, more stress, moredepression.
You're seeing a lot of physicalside effects now too.
One of the major things we'reseeing with a lot of younger men
(13:41):
is erectile dysfunction fromporn use.
Porn-induced erectiledysfunction, it's called.
And so men who should be at theheight of their virility are
(14:03):
having performance issuesbecause they're watching so much
porn that they've desensitizedtheir brain that they can't even
achieve or maintain erection.
Had the commercials with thesilver fox, the older couple and
them.
Well, now the ED commercialsthat you see during NFL games.
There was NFL on today, I'msure there was all kinds of
commercials for it on there.
It's marketed to younger men,it's marketed to guys like me in
their 30s, and so it has thosephysical aspects to it.
(14:29):
It really affects the whole ofthe person.
It affects you physically, itaffects you emotionally, it
affects your relationshipsrelationally.
Obviously it's a sin issue, soit's a spiritual issue.
It really does haveconsequences in all areas of
your life.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Obviously, for the Christian man, like you said,
it's a sin issue that we need toturn to and ask God for.
For the Christian man, like youjust said, it's a sin issue
that we need to, you know, turnto and ask God for forgiveness
for, and help us to break thatcycle and break that habit.
But where else can men, youknow, who else can men turn to
to get that help?
(15:05):
Because we see and this isalmost like a two-part question
if we see in the church theydon't talk about and I mean, if
they do, it's a very briefoverview of it.
They don't talk about sex thatoften.
They don't talk aboutmasturbation.
They don't talk aboutpornography addiction.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, it's not just something that you can just pray
harder for, right, yes, youshould pray about it, right, and
not that God can't do that,that God does amazing things
sometimes.
But there's work that needs tobe done and it's something that
too many men are suffering alonewith.
I think the most importantthing men need to do is get help
, and get help from someone whohas experience with this type of
(15:52):
thing.
Like we said, a lot of churchesaren't talking about it enough.
It's starting to get better,but it's still a taboo subject,
right, it's not being talkedabout from the pulpit, it's not
really being talked about muchin men's studies and a lot of
churches just treat it as a well, yeah, you're just a filthy
sinner and it kind of just beatsyou overhead.
With the Bible, which we shouldcondemn sin where we see sin,
(16:14):
and it should help our brothersif we see them falling into sin,
but we also need to help themand give them a path to
redemption, and there isn't alot of that.
There's a lot of shame attachedto it.
Men are afraid to come forwardbecause of the taboo nature of
it.
So men need opportunities towhere they can gather with other
men and get the help that theyneed and where someplace that
(16:37):
they can be vulnerable.
So many men are trying to justfight this battle alone and not
let anyone else know about itand not get any help, because
they're ashamed of their actionsand don't want to reach out for
help.
Because of that and I did thatfor 15 years I was just like all
right, well, I'll overcome thismyself, I don't need to talk to
(16:57):
anybody else about it, I don'tneed help, I can just pull up my
bootstraps and get through this.
Well, that doesn't work.
It didn't work for me and itdoesn't work for anybody else
either.
So getting help is the mostimportant thing, and getting
help from someone whounderstands the nuances and
intricacies that are involvedwith this type of addiction.
It's different from an alcoholaddiction or a drug addiction or
(17:20):
any other type of thing.
There's different emotionsinvolved, there's different
urges and things that areinvolved with it.
So reach out to someone if yourpastor has experience with that
and can help men with that.
You know, a pastor or that'sreally my entire ministry is
coaching men, because that'skind of the mission that God
laid on my heart, because therewas a need for that.
(17:41):
There was a need for somebodythe men to turn to to get the
help that they need, andbreaking free from that.
And there wasn't opportunitiesfor that elsewhere, and so God
kind of laid that my mission onthe heart to be a coach and a
counselor for these guys andhelp them break free from.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Yeah, you just said.
You mentioned that you help menand whatnot.
How do you help men?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Well, it's really a three.
There's kind of a three prongedapproach that I use.
I talked about it a little bit.
The first thing is help, like Ijust got done, saying you need
help, you need accountability isprobably the most important
thing, and that's one of thethings that I do is all my guys
that I work with, I'm theirone-on-one accountability part,
and that's what differs in whatI do from traditional counseling
(18:32):
or therapy.
I check in with my guys everyday.
They're texting me or I'mtexting them or calling them
every single day and making surethey're doing all right.
Just that accountability.
Also, my teaching, my guidance,encouragement, support.
I'm there to help these guys.
I'm not there to what's thesaying diagnose, treat, cure,
prevent these guys.
I'm not there to what's the thesaying diagnosed, treat, cure,
prevent any disease.
(18:52):
I'm not there.
I'm not a doctor, I'm not apsychiatrist, I'm not a you know
, I'm just a guy that Godbrought through this darkness
and put it on my heart to helpother men through it.
So I know where they've been,I've been there, I've
experienced it, I understand itand so, being that
accountability for that, beingthat help, that support, I'll
(19:16):
give them a kick in the rearevery once in a while if they
need it too right, and so thathelp is so important.
Second is habits.
You know I was kind of sayingearlier it's more than just bad
habits, but we need to have goodhabits and get rid of bad
habits with it.
We need to set boundaries andset up guardrails to protect
ourselves.
If there's things we need toremove from our life that are
leading us and making usvulnerable to sinning, we need
to remove those from our life orminimize them as much as
(19:38):
possible.
I'm big on journaling, I'm bigon routines, I'm big on being
able to work through thosethings and put those habits and
things in place to giveourselves the best chance of
overcoming these things.
And then the last thing isheart.
This is like I said earlier,this is a heart issue.
So I work with men to dig deepinto the emotions and look back
(20:02):
through their life and be likeokay, there's a reason you're
going to porn here.
There's something that you'rerunning away from or trying to
escape, or maybe the opposite,something you're trying to find,
a void you're trying to filland we have to fix that from the
inside out.
You know, something I say allthe time is porn addiction isn't
(20:23):
something that you have to quit.
It's not a bad habit that youhave to quit.
Porn addiction is a wound thatyou have to heal.
You heal this addiction, youdon't quit it.
And so I work with men, notjust on trying to avoid urges or
avoid.
Try to give them the strengthto say no to something when they
(20:44):
have the urge to do it.
I work with them so that theyheal from the inside out, so
that they don't have that urgeto escape.
So those three things takentogether the health, the habits
and the heart, you know, andunderstanding the why, and
healing that addiction ratherthan just trying to try harder
that makes all the difference inthe world.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
That's how I found freedom and that's how I've
helped you know all the men overthe years that I've helped find
freedom, defeat it in theirlives.
For those of us that may havefriends and may be, like you
said, accountability partnerswith them and may deal, they may
have a porn addiction, whatadvice would you give to us to
help them?
Like you said, give them a kickin the butt sometime when they
(21:30):
need it.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Right, right, yeah, it's truth and love, right, like
scripture says.
You know we need to give themtruth, yeah, and we need to if
they don't recognize whatthey're doing is wrong and you
know that it's happening.
You know we have aresponsibility as fellow
believers to help our brothersout.
You know, like I said, youdon't beat them over the head or
shame them unnecessarily, butyou come alongside and be like
(21:52):
hey, brother, I know you'restruggling, I'm here for you,
support him, encourage him.
He knows it's wrong deep downinside of his heart.
Even if a man is defiant, heknows it's wrong deep down in
his heart.
He does.
And so men need to be availableto help other men.
And that's a big problem, notjust in a church but in society
as a whole, is that men aren'tbuilding brotherhood and
(22:13):
connection with other men and sothey don't have men that they
can go to to be thataccountability and that support
for them.
So if it's not maybe a strugglefor you, but I guarantee it's
probably a struggle for peoplein your life.
I mean, the numbers and thestatistics are that bad that you
know somebody you know probablyis struggling with it, right?
(22:36):
If you're not, and so be thatif you're struggling with it,
find help from somebody and ifyou aren't, be available to them
, support them, encourage them.
You know we want we don't justwant to condemn people and just
beat them over the head withtheir sin.
We want to give them a path torepentance and recovery and
redemption.
Right, that's, that's Christ'sexample for us.
(22:56):
Yes, he called out sin, but healso said hey, I forgive you.
You know, here's the path.
Follow me.
You know, pick up your crossand follow me and I'll show you
the way to righteousness.
And that's what we need to dois emulate Christ.
In that We'd be like, yes,brother, you're sinning, but let
me help you to defeat that.
And that's something that Ithink is lacking is that support
(23:16):
and encouragement for menversus just kind of condemning
them.
We need that truth and lovewhere there is no love if there
isn't truth.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Right, and I think a lot of men too.
You know they don't want to beopen with other men.
You know, regardless of whatthe situation is, they don't
want to be open with other menabout what know.
As Proverbs 27, 17 says, ironsharpens.
Iron and men need to cometogether to help each other
become better, stronger, godlymen, and that's something that
that's so needed in the world,is so needed in the church too,
and so we need to create thoseopportunities for fellowship and
brotherhood and connection.
(24:03):
You know men need other men.
You know men who are flyingalone are vulnerable, and so
they need brothers beside themin the battle.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
The next question that I see on your website I
found interesting why has thechurch become feminized?
Speaker 2 (24:56):
And it's a lot of a vicious cycle here.
So there aren't men in thechurch, women go to church two
to one ratio.
We've allowed societal changeto infiltrate the church and
allowed that kind of weaknessand that things that are not
biblical to infiltrate thechurch, and so there aren't
(25:18):
things there for men and becauseof that men aren't going, and
because men aren't going therearen't things for men, and it's
just this vicious cycle.
And so we need men to step upand be that strength and be
those leaders in the church.
You know, men are called toleadership.
Men are the head of theirhouseholds, like Christ is the
head of the church, and there'sa lot of men that aren't
stepping up and being the stronggodly leaders that they need to
(25:38):
be, and so in turn you see theweakness overtake the church and
a lot of the Westernevangelical church.
We see this kind of femininitycome in and feminization of the
church.
To where there's no strongleadership, it's all based on
emotions.
There's no adherence to thetruth of's no strong leadership,
it's all based on emotions.
There's no adherence to thetruth of the word of God, it's
(26:02):
all very kind of surface level,very shallow teaching.
Like you said, we aren't there,aren't teaching the deep truths
of scripture.
You aren't talking about a pornaddiction or sex or these hard
issues.
We're talking about feel goodstuff.
Sermons are much more like aTED talk or like a
(26:22):
self-improvement seminaroftentimes than they are
preaching the word of God, andso, because of that, men can't
connect with that.
Because men want truth, theywant substance, they want to
lead, and so it's created thiskind of vicious cycle, and so
men aren't in the church, menaren't getting what they need,
so they're falling prey tothings like porn addiction and
(26:42):
men aren't leading the church,so the church is falling prey to
other things that strong menwould protect the church from.
And so it's just this viciouscycle.
And what we need is strong,godly men to be bold, be
confident, be courageous andstep up and start being warriors
for God's kingdom, instead ofsitting off to the side,
comfortable and complacent.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Yeah.
How has your faith played arole in your recovery?
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Well, it played a huge role and it wasn't just
like I said earlier.
It wasn't just that I prayedfor God to take it away, even
though I did, but it wasessential in that.
And the apostle Paul had athorn in his flesh and we don't
know exactly what that was, buthe prayed for God to take it
away and three times God said noand he said my power is made
(27:31):
perfect in your weakness.
When you are weak, I am strong,and that's what God did in my
life too.
This was a weakness of mine andhe turned it into a strength.
He helped me through it and nowis helping me, giving me the
mission to help other men.
But in my own life, it was hislove and forgiveness that helped
me through it.
(27:53):
For myself, I felt too broken.
You know that I was damagedgoods, that I was beyond
forgiveness, beyond repair.
That I'm just.
This is just who I am.
I'm destined for whatever youknow, punishment.
I'm due that I'm too far gone,I'm not worthy of Christ's
forgiveness.
But that's not true.
(28:14):
We are, you know, we all havefallen, sinned and fallen short
of the glory of God.
We're all deserving of death,but Christ died for all of us,
even the guys who are filledwith shame and regret and are
addicted to terrible things andhave committed horrible sins
against our God, against ourfamilies, against our wives.
He washes us white as snow andmakes us whole again, and it was
(28:39):
that knowledge that gave me thehope to overcome this, based on
my own strength.
I could have never done it butbecause I had that forgiveness
and I had that hope and I hadGod as my refuge in my strength.
Psalm 46 says I had the courageand the perseverance to
overcome it that I would nothave had on my own.
(29:00):
And so Christ forgave me andput me on this path of pursuing
righteousness and helping othersto fight the same battles I did
.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Amen.
What do you think about groupslike Celebrate Recovery?
Do you think that they help menand women with porn addiction?
Speaker 2 (29:24):
I think groups like that are helpful.
I certainly do.
I haven't dealt specificallywith Celebrate Recovery in
regards to porn addiction.
I've never gone through any oftheir programs or anything.
Certainly they're helpful and Iknow they've been a huge help
for a lot of people with drugand alcohol addiction.
I've had friends that have gonethrough CR for substance abuse,
(29:44):
addiction and things like that.
Those groups are always helpful.
I mean, anytime you get a groupof people together and can be
there and support each other andkeep each other accountable and
give each other tools in orderto do it, it's a good thing.
With the porn addictionspecifically, though, I do think
there's an element that ishelpful of also having that
one-on-one, and that's why I dowhat I do.
(30:05):
I don't do any sort of groupcoaching or I don't work with
women or couples or marriagecounseling or anything like that
.
I just work one-on-one with men, and so I think there's a level
of that that you that you needto go deeper.
You know if you're, if you'reas helpful as those groups are,
if you're in a group with 15, 20other people, you're only going
to go so deep right and intoyour own things that you need to
(30:27):
deal with.
It's certainly helpful,certainly beneficial.
I don't want to discourageanyone from from going to those
things that they do, but beingable to have that one-on-one
guidance, that one-on-onebrother in the battle with you,
is huge.
And having that in my lifehelped in my recovery and now I
(30:47):
see the difference in the guysthat I work with of having that
one-on-one guidance andencouragement and support to
break free is huge.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
As I get rid of the end here.
I always like to ask my guestsone last question.
Can you give my audience and mylisteners one last
encouragement?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
My encouragement would be that you're not alone.
You're not alone.
If you're listening to this andit's kind of resonated with you
maybe you're struggling withthis, or you know someone's
struggling with it or you havein the past just know that
you're not alone.
There is hope.
You're never too broken.
You're never beyond Christ'sforgiveness.
You're not too far damaged thatChrist can make you whole again
(31:36):
and wash you white as snow.
And the most important thingyou need to do is trust in him,
have faith in him and then reachout for help.
You know there are men like meout there.
There are resources out there.
Get help and stop trying tofight this battle alone and have
hope and you could find afreedom, like I did.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Amen, Well, thank you .
Thank you so much for coming on.
It's always greatly appreciatehaving you.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Absolutely Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Thanks.
And where can people reach outto you and connect with you if
they wanted to?
You know talk to you or youknow connect with you.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yeah, you can visit my website.
It's just my name,timothyregalcom.
Or you can follow me on socialmedia, mostly on Twitter and
Instagram, or my name, my screenname on there is just my name,
timothy Regal.
Message me on there, shoot mean email, contact me through my
website.
I'd be glad to reach out andhelp you.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
All right.
Well, guys and girls, thank youso much for coming on and
listening again.
We greatly appreciate havingyou.
I'll have Tim's contact on theshow notes and please like and
review the show and, you know,check out my website as well,
which is also in the show notes.
(32:54):
And until next time, bye-bye,bye-bye.
Hello everyone, thank you again for joining me on
another episode of the DorsiRose Show.
Today we have a special guestwith us.
His name is Timothy Regal.
He is the founder of Into theWilderness Ministries.
He is the author of the bookMen challenge to renew your
(00:25):
faith, restore your masculinityand re-energize your family and
living porn-free 10 steps torecovery, redemption and renewal
.
As a coach, author andpodcaster, he has used his own
(00:45):
experience in defeatingaddiction to help hundreds of
men to overcome their addictionto porn and sex, save their
marriages and become better,stronger, godly Men.
He's also a licensed funeraldirector, a chaplain, worship
(01:07):
leader and, most importantly, ahusband and father.
He has years of experience inpublic speaking, giving
presentations and appearing onpodcasts.
He also hosts his own podcast,the Into the Waterness Podcast,
with Timothy Riegel.
Tim, thank you so much forcoming on the show today.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Absolutely.
Thanks for having me Definitely.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Well, I usually like to open up with an icebreaker
question.
Sure, Today's icebreakerquestion is would you rather
have a rewind button or a pausebutton for your life?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Wow, that's a tough one.
That's a tough one, I would say, probably a pause button.
Reason being is that my kidsare teenagers now and I'd love
to pause a little bit.
You know I don't want to rewind.
I have no regrets in my lifeand God has brought me through
things, and so I wouldn't rewindand change anything.
But sometimes I would like toslow it down and enjoy the
(02:14):
moment a little bit longer.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Right, yeah, I can see that.
What's something interestingabout you that most people don't
know?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Hmm, that most people don't know.
Hmm, that most people don'tknow.
Well, the most interestingthing about me that most people
think about is that I'm a.
I'm a fuel director, I'm amortician, but that's kind of my
day job.
But a lot of people know thatabout me.
I guess the thing that a lot ofpeople I guess online don't
know about me is I'm an absolutehistory nerd that's obsessed
(02:46):
with Abraham Lincoln.
So I actually have a bust ofLincoln over my shoulder here.
But I'm real big into Lincolnhistory and Civil War history
and, of course, being inPennsylvania like we are,
there's a whole lot of that.
So out in Gettysburg and things.
So that's kind of my hobby andthings that I do.
A lot is American history typeof stuff and especially Lincoln
and Civil War stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Right, what's the last book you read that really
inspired you?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Hmm, I'm trying to think what I'm, what I've been
reading through right now.
I haven't been read.
I normally am a big reader butI haven't been reading too much
because I've been working on myon my new book.
But what I have been readingthrough it's not it's it's.
It's a little bit different,but I'm reading through a
version of the Bible by.
(03:35):
It's a Put together version ofthe Bible in chronological order
, by John MacArthur is called APerfect Life, and so what he did
was take the four gospels andput them into a single narrative
, and so I've been readingthrough that in my daily
scripture reading and it's justbrought an entirely new
(03:56):
perspective on the life of Jesusversus.
You know, you're used to seeingMatthew's account, mark's,
luke's, john's, and to see themall as one single narrative has
been very eye-opening to me forthe life of Christ.
So I am looking to get backinto reading a little bit more.
Like I said, with the lastcouple of months finishing up
the book and stuff, I haven'thad as much time to read as I
(04:16):
would normally do.
But I've been reading throughthat and that's been really
inspiring to me, seeing the lifeof Christ as a single gospel
narrative.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, that sounds interesting.
I'll have to look into that.
Can you, besides what I alreadyread on your bio, can you give
us a little bit more aboutyourself and what you've been
through in your life?
Sure, sure.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
So I grew up in a Christian home, I was raised in
a church home, my father was apastor actually but I got into
as a teenager.
I struggled a little bit, I wasa little bit of a rebellious
guy and kind of just needed tofind my own way, and that took
me down some dark paths.
I got addicted to a porn as ateenager, like a lot of young
(05:02):
men did, and still do,unfortunately and that escalated
as I got older and it got a lotworse and became more frequent
and became more serious.
It jumped into, you know, backthen it was webcams and chat
rooms and stuff like that.
I got married fairly young,thought that would solve
(05:23):
everything and of course itdidn't.
In fact it got worse.
My porn addiction got worse andeventually it made the jump
into physical things where I wasunfaithful to my wife and had a
number of different things.
And you know, I did all the,all the things you're supposed
to do, right.
I knew what I was doing waswrong, but I couldn't stop.
You know, I talked to my pastor, I did counseling, I read all
(05:48):
the books, I did all the Biblestudies.
I did all these things thatyou're quote unquote supposed to
do and none of it helped.
And that continued on for 10,15 years to where I got caught a
few times, but I always kind ofwent back to it and my wife and
I actually separated for almosta year at one point, but we
were able to get back together.
So this continued, you know, onand off for many years I could
(06:11):
never finally completelyovercome it ago and kind of
everything came cumberling downlike I was exposed.
You know all you know, kind ofI got caught and exposed and
everybody knew all my deep,darkest secrets and it was that
time that I got serious help.
(06:32):
There was a man who spoke intomy life and helped me understand
why I was addicted to porn andsex.
It wasn't just that I was this,you know.
It wasn't just that I was thisfilthy pervert that couldn't
control himself.
He helped me understand why,and so he helped me understand
that there was something in mylife that I had learned to use
(06:53):
this as an escape from.
So there was wounds, there wasinsecurities, fears, there was
traumas, and he helped me digdeep and understand that and
that made a difference for meunderstanding why.
It wasn't that I wasn't tryingor I wasn't trying hard enough
(07:14):
or I didn't have the righthabits in place, or anything
like that.
I didn't understand why, and soit was something that I had to
heal from within.
It was a heart issue.
It wasn't a bad habit, it was aheart tissue, and so that
helped me to find freedom in mylife, and at that point,
honestly, I kind of thought youknow, that was it?
Like, hey, you know, I solvedthis problem, I can move on with
my life.
(07:34):
Well, god had different ideas,as he often does, and he laid
the mission on my heart that Ineeded to turn around and help
others through the same darknessthat he had brought me through.
So I started mentoring someyoung men, reaching out to them,
I started being active onlineand writing and posting and
doing all those things, and Godkept opening doors for me, which
(07:57):
eventually led to my first book, which was just a hey, this is
where you start, because a lotof guys have no idea where to
even start when they'restruggling with these type of
things, and so I startedcoaching, and I've been doing
that about five years now.
It's one of those things where,like I said, when we open the
door a little bit, god kicks itwide open, right and has just
(08:18):
given me more and moreopportunities to help and serve
men.
And now, with the newest bookthat I partnered up with my good
friend and brother, jerry Adams, on Men of Grit into the
Wilderness, this has a lot to dowith the man as a whole.
The porn addiction thing haskind of been my niche here for a
while and we're kind of workingon the whole man and what does
it mean to be a biblical man ofGod.
(08:38):
So that book is designed tofocus on all these aspects of
our life, our faith, our family.
And that book is designed tofocus on all these aspects of
our life, our faith, our family,our fitness, our fellowship
with other men, our leadershipand our strength as men, and
designed to build strong, godlyChristian men.
So it's been a heck of ajourney, man.
I mean the Lord has brought methrough a lot and praise him for
(09:00):
that.
And you know most marriageswouldn't have survived what mine
did and you know things couldhave gone wayward in a lot of
different ways, but God isfaithful and brought us through
it and through his grace andforgiveness I'm sitting here
talking to you now.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Amen.
Why do you think so many menare addicted to porn or get
addicted to porn?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Sure, I think it's a number of different things.
I don't think there's one issuewe can really point to
(10:01):
no-transcript.
You had to wait for the dial upinternet and even before then,
you know, I remember when, whenI was a kid, you know I never
went in there, but I remember asa kid there was a video rental
store and there was that creepyroom in the back with the you
know sign on the door that saidadults only or whatever you know
(10:22):
, and so there was.
It was harder to access backthen, and before then it was
magazines and things, so theaccess is so much easier.
Now.
We're in such a hyper-sexualizedculture and I also think that
men aren't learning properly howto deal with things in their
life and which is why they'returning to porn as an escape.
So, like I talked about in myown testimony, like we don't
(10:46):
know, I use porn as a copingmechanism.
Like I said, I wasn't just thisfilthy pervert that couldn't
control himself.
It became my escape, the void Iwas trying to fill.
There was fears I was avoiding,there was things I was trying
to run away from, and so I thinka lot of men, when they're
(11:06):
teenagers now, because this isso readily available.
They're learning to use this tomask pain in their life and so,
without properly ways to dealwith that, they're running more
and more to porn and it'sgetting worse, and then they're
getting addicted, and then it'sjust a vicious cycle that
continues on and on until theylearn how to break it and heal
it from the inside out.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, what damage does porn do?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
There's obvious things and there's not so
obvious things.
The most obvious thing at leastfor a lot of the guys I work
with and things is the damage itdoes to your marriage.
Right, there's betrayal,there's heartache, there's
things that are it's devastatingto many marriages.
My marriage was lucky tosurvive Well, I shouldn't say
(11:52):
lucky, it was God that helped mymarriage survive.
But a lot of marriages don'tsurvive these type of things and
so we know the damage that itdoes to that.
But it's so much deeper thanthat and obviously it's a sinful
thing.
It's lust.
We know that as Christians.
But it's so much more than that.
It's not just that we're abunch of prudish Christians who
don't want to allow anybody tohave any fun.
(12:14):
Right, that's not why we're outhere telling people that porn
is bad and they need to get help.
It damages your relationships.
It damages us individuallybecause, like I said, we're
using it as an escape.
We're using it to run away fromthings and we're not dealing
with those things.
So it's having emotionalproblems.
You know, it's kind of likethat.
(12:36):
Remember when we watchedcartoons as a kid and you watch,
I don't know, looney Tunes orwhatever, and they talked to
that mirage in the desert andyou know Wile E Coyote or
whatever is dying of thirst andhe sees this.
You know desert oasis that'sgoing to quench his thirst, and
he gets there and there'snothing there.
Oasis that's going to quenchhis thirst, and he gets there
and there's nothing there.
That's kind of what it's likewith porn addiction, like it
(12:57):
promises all this escape.
It promises this fantasy, thisfulfillment, this validation.
It promises all these thingsand so we use it to run away, to
escape from things and to copeand to deal with stress and
anxiety.
But when we get there, there'snothing there.
You know king solomon scriptureecclesiastes.
He called it hevel in.
Ecclesiastes was the hebrewword he used.
It's it's grasping after thewind or a mist or a vapor.
(13:18):
We think something's there andthen we go to grab it and it's
gone.
There's nothing there and we'releft worse off than we were
before.
So it damages us on theemotional level.
Instead of providing relief, itactually causes more shame,
more anxiety, more stress, moredepression.
You're seeing a lot of physicalside effects now too.
One of the major things we'reseeing with a lot of younger men
(13:41):
is erectile dysfunction fromporn use.
Porn-induced erectiledysfunction, it's called.
And so men who should be at theheight of their virility are
(14:03):
having performance issuesbecause they're watching so much
porn that they've desensitizedtheir brain that they can't even
achieve or maintain erection.
Had the commercials with thesilver fox, the older couple and
them.
Well, now the ED commercialsthat you see during NFL games.
There was NFL on today, I'msure there was all kinds of
commercials for it on there.
It's marketed to younger men,it's marketed to guys like me in
their 30s, and so it has thosephysical aspects to it.
(14:29):
It really affects the whole ofthe person.
It affects you physically, itaffects you emotionally, it
affects your relationshipsrelationally.
Obviously it's a sin issue, soit's a spiritual issue.
It really does haveconsequences in all areas of
your life.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Obviously, for the Christian man, like you said,
it's a sin issue that we need toturn to and ask God for.
For the Christian man, like youjust said, it's a sin issue
that we need to, you know, turnto and ask God for forgiveness
for, and help us to break thatcycle and break that habit.
But where else can men, youknow, who else can men turn to
to get that help?
(15:05):
Because we see and this isalmost like a two-part question
if we see in the church theydon't talk about and I mean, if
they do, it's a very briefoverview of it.
They don't talk about sex thatoften.
They don't talk aboutmasturbation.
They don't talk aboutpornography addiction.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, it's not just something that you can just pray
harder for, right, yes, youshould pray about it, right, and
not that God can't do that,that God does amazing things
sometimes.
But there's work that needs tobe done and it's something that
too many men are suffering alonewith.
I think the most importantthing men need to do is get help
, and get help from someone whohas experience with this type of
(15:52):
thing.
Like we said, a lot of churchesaren't talking about it enough.
It's starting to get better,but it's still a taboo subject,
right, it's not being talkedabout from the pulpit, it's not
really being talked about muchin men's studies and a lot of
churches just treat it as a well, yeah, you're just a filthy
sinner and it kind of just beatsyou overhead.
With the Bible, which we shouldcondemn sin where we see sin,
(16:14):
and it should help our brothersif we see them falling into sin,
but we also need to help themand give them a path to
redemption, and there isn't alot of that.
There's a lot of shame attachedto it.
Men are afraid to come forwardbecause of the taboo nature of
it.
So men need opportunities towhere they can gather with other
men and get the help that theyneed and where someplace that
(16:37):
they can be vulnerable.
So many men are trying to justfight this battle alone and not
let anyone else know about itand not get any help, because
they're ashamed of their actionsand don't want to reach out for
help.
Because of that and I did thatfor 15 years I was just like all
right, well, I'll overcome thismyself, I don't need to talk to
(16:57):
anybody else about it, I don'tneed help, I can just pull up my
bootstraps and get through this.
Well, that doesn't work.
It didn't work for me and itdoesn't work for anybody else
either.
So getting help is the mostimportant thing, and getting
help from someone whounderstands the nuances and
intricacies that are involvedwith this type of addiction.
It's different from an alcoholaddiction or a drug addiction or
(17:20):
any other type of thing.
There's different emotionsinvolved, there's different
urges and things that areinvolved with it.
So reach out to someone if yourpastor has experience with that
and can help men with that.
You know, a pastor or that'sreally my entire ministry is
coaching men, because that'skind of the mission that God
laid on my heart, because therewas a need for that.
(17:41):
There was a need for somebodythe men to turn to to get the
help that they need, andbreaking free from that.
And there wasn't opportunitiesfor that elsewhere, and so God
kind of laid that my mission onthe heart to be a coach and a
counselor for these guys andhelp them break free from.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Yeah, you just said.
You mentioned that you help menand whatnot.
How do you help men?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Well, it's really a three.
There's kind of a three prongedapproach that I use.
I talked about it a little bit.
The first thing is help, like Ijust got done, saying you need
help, you need accountability isprobably the most important
thing, and that's one of thethings that I do is all my guys
that I work with, I'm theirone-on-one accountability part,
and that's what differs in whatI do from traditional counseling
(18:32):
or therapy.
I check in with my guys everyday.
They're texting me or I'mtexting them or calling them
every single day and making surethey're doing all right.
Just that accountability.
Also, my teaching, my guidance,encouragement, support.
I'm there to help these guys.
I'm not there to what's thesaying diagnose, treat, cure,
prevent these guys.
I'm not there to what's the thesaying diagnosed, treat, cure,
prevent any disease.
(18:52):
I'm not there.
I'm not a doctor, I'm not apsychiatrist, I'm not a you know
, I'm just a guy that Godbrought through this darkness
and put it on my heart to helpother men through it.
So I know where they've been,I've been there, I've
experienced it, I understand itand so, being that
accountability for that, beingthat help, that support, I'll
(19:16):
give them a kick in the rearevery once in a while if they
need it too right, and so thathelp is so important.
Second is habits.
You know I was kind of sayingearlier it's more than just bad
habits, but we need to have goodhabits and get rid of bad
habits with it.
We need to set boundaries andset up guardrails to protect
ourselves.
If there's things we need toremove from our life that are
leading us and making usvulnerable to sinning, we need
to remove those from our life orminimize them as much as
(19:38):
possible.
I'm big on journaling, I'm bigon routines, I'm big on being
able to work through thosethings and put those habits and
things in place to giveourselves the best chance of
overcoming these things.
And then the last thing isheart.
This is like I said earlier,this is a heart issue.
So I work with men to dig deepinto the emotions and look back
(20:02):
through their life and be likeokay, there's a reason you're
going to porn here.
There's something that you'rerunning away from or trying to
escape, or maybe the opposite,something you're trying to find,
a void you're trying to filland we have to fix that from the
inside out.
You know, something I say allthe time is porn addiction isn't
(20:23):
something that you have to quit.
It's not a bad habit that youhave to quit.
Porn addiction is a wound thatyou have to heal.
You heal this addiction, youdon't quit it.
And so I work with men, notjust on trying to avoid urges or
avoid.
Try to give them the strengthto say no to something when they
(20:44):
have the urge to do it.
I work with them so that theyheal from the inside out, so
that they don't have that urgeto escape.
So those three things takentogether the health, the habits
and the heart, you know, andunderstanding the why, and
healing that addiction ratherthan just trying to try harder
that makes all the difference inthe world.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
That's how I found freedom and that's how I've
helped you know all the men overthe years that I've helped find
freedom, defeat it in theirlives.
For those of us that may havefriends and may be, like you
said, accountability partnerswith them and may deal, they may
have a porn addiction, whatadvice would you give to us to
help them?
Like you said, give them a kickin the butt sometime when they
(21:30):
need it.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Right, right, yeah, it's truth and love, right, like
scripture says.
You know we need to give themtruth, yeah, and we need to if
they don't recognize whatthey're doing is wrong and you
know that it's happening.
You know we have aresponsibility as fellow
believers to help our brothersout.
You know, like I said, youdon't beat them over the head or
shame them unnecessarily, butyou come alongside and be like
(21:52):
hey, brother, I know you'restruggling, I'm here for you,
support him, encourage him.
He knows it's wrong deep downinside of his heart.
Even if a man is defiant, heknows it's wrong deep down in
his heart.
He does.
And so men need to be availableto help other men.
And that's a big problem, notjust in a church but in society
as a whole, is that men aren'tbuilding brotherhood and
(22:13):
connection with other men and sothey don't have men that they
can go to to be thataccountability and that support
for them.
So if it's not maybe a strugglefor you, but I guarantee it's
probably a struggle for peoplein your life.
I mean, the numbers and thestatistics are that bad that you
know somebody you know probablyis struggling with it, right?
(22:36):
If you're not, and so be thatif you're struggling with it,
find help from somebody and ifyou aren't, be available to them
, support them, encourage them.
You know we want we don't justwant to condemn people and just
beat them over the head withtheir sin.
We want to give them a path torepentance and recovery and
redemption.
Right, that's, that's Christ'sexample for us.
(22:56):
Yes, he called out sin, but healso said hey, I forgive you.
You know, here's the path.
Follow me.
You know, pick up your crossand follow me and I'll show you
the way to righteousness.
And that's what we need to dois emulate Christ.
In that We'd be like, yes,brother, you're sinning, but let
me help you to defeat that.
And that's something that Ithink is lacking is that support
(23:16):
and encouragement for menversus just kind of condemning
them.
We need that truth and lovewhere there is no love if there
isn't truth.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Right, and I think a lot of men too.
You know they don't want to beopen with other men.
You know, regardless of whatthe situation is, they don't
want to be open with other menabout what know.
As Proverbs 27, 17 says, ironsharpens.
Iron and men need to cometogether to help each other
become better, stronger, godlymen, and that's something that
that's so needed in the world,is so needed in the church too,
and so we need to create thoseopportunities for fellowship and
brotherhood and connection.
(24:03):
You know men need other men.
You know men who are flyingalone are vulnerable, and so
they need brothers beside themin the battle.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
The next question that I see on your website I
found interesting why has thechurch become feminized?
Speaker 2 (24:56):
And it's a lot of a vicious cycle here.
So there aren't men in thechurch, women go to church two
to one ratio.
We've allowed societal changeto infiltrate the church and
allowed that kind of weaknessand that things that are not
biblical to infiltrate thechurch, and so there aren't
(25:18):
things there for men and becauseof that men aren't going, and
because men aren't going therearen't things for men, and it's
just this vicious cycle.
And so we need men to step upand be that strength and be
those leaders in the church.
You know, men are called toleadership.
Men are the head of theirhouseholds, like Christ is the
head of the church, and there'sa lot of men that aren't
stepping up and being the stronggodly leaders that they need to
(25:38):
be, and so in turn you see theweakness overtake the church and
a lot of the Westernevangelical church.
We see this kind of femininitycome in and feminization of the
church.
To where there's no strongleadership, it's all based on
emotions.
There's no adherence to thetruth of's no strong leadership,
it's all based on emotions.
There's no adherence to thetruth of the word of God, it's
(26:02):
all very kind of surface level,very shallow teaching.
Like you said, we aren't there,aren't teaching the deep truths
of scripture.
You aren't talking about a pornaddiction or sex or these hard
issues.
We're talking about feel goodstuff.
Sermons are much more like aTED talk or like a
(26:22):
self-improvement seminaroftentimes than they are
preaching the word of God, andso, because of that, men can't
connect with that.
Because men want truth, theywant substance, they want to
lead, and so it's created thiskind of vicious cycle, and so
men aren't in the church, menaren't getting what they need,
so they're falling prey tothings like porn addiction and
(26:42):
men aren't leading the church,so the church is falling prey to
other things that strong menwould protect the church from.
And so it's just this viciouscycle.
And what we need is strong,godly men to be bold, be
confident, be courageous andstep up and start being warriors
for God's kingdom, instead ofsitting off to the side,
comfortable and complacent.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Yeah.
How has your faith played arole in your recovery?
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Well, it played a huge role and it wasn't just
like I said earlier.
It wasn't just that I prayedfor God to take it away, even
though I did, but it wasessential in that.
And the apostle Paul had athorn in his flesh and we don't
know exactly what that was, buthe prayed for God to take it
away and three times God said noand he said my power is made
(27:31):
perfect in your weakness.
When you are weak, I am strong,and that's what God did in my
life too.
This was a weakness of mine andhe turned it into a strength.
He helped me through it and nowis helping me, giving me the
mission to help other men.
But in my own life, it was hislove and forgiveness that helped
me through it.
(27:53):
For myself, I felt too broken.
You know that I was damagedgoods, that I was beyond
forgiveness, beyond repair.
That I'm just.
This is just who I am.
I'm destined for whatever youknow, punishment.
I'm due that I'm too far gone,I'm not worthy of Christ's
forgiveness.
But that's not true.
(28:14):
We are, you know, we all havefallen, sinned and fallen short
of the glory of God.
We're all deserving of death,but Christ died for all of us,
even the guys who are filledwith shame and regret and are
addicted to terrible things andhave committed horrible sins
against our God, against ourfamilies, against our wives.
He washes us white as snow andmakes us whole again, and it was
(28:39):
that knowledge that gave me thehope to overcome this, based on
my own strength.
I could have never done it butbecause I had that forgiveness
and I had that hope and I hadGod as my refuge in my strength.
Psalm 46 says I had the courageand the perseverance to
overcome it that I would nothave had on my own.
(29:00):
And so Christ forgave me andput me on this path of pursuing
righteousness and helping othersto fight the same battles I did
.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Amen.
What do you think about groupslike Celebrate Recovery?
Do you think that they help menand women with porn addiction?
Speaker 2 (29:24):
I think groups like that are helpful.
I certainly do.
I haven't dealt specificallywith Celebrate Recovery in
regards to porn addiction.
I've never gone through any oftheir programs or anything.
Certainly they're helpful and Iknow they've been a huge help
for a lot of people with drugand alcohol addiction.
I've had friends that have gonethrough CR for substance abuse,
(29:44):
addiction and things like that.
Those groups are always helpful.
I mean, anytime you get a groupof people together and can be
there and support each other andkeep each other accountable and
give each other tools in orderto do it, it's a good thing.
With the porn addictionspecifically, though, I do think
there's an element that ishelpful of also having that
one-on-one, and that's why I dowhat I do.
(30:05):
I don't do any sort of groupcoaching or I don't work with
women or couples or marriagecounseling or anything like that
.
I just work one-on-one with men, and so I think there's a level
of that that you that you needto go deeper.
You know if you're, if you'reas helpful as those groups are,
if you're in a group with 15, 20other people, you're only going
to go so deep right and intoyour own things that you need to
(30:27):
deal with.
It's certainly helpful,certainly beneficial.
I don't want to discourageanyone from from going to those
things that they do, but beingable to have that one-on-one
guidance, that one-on-onebrother in the battle with you,
is huge.
And having that in my lifehelped in my recovery and now I
(30:47):
see the difference in the guysthat I work with of having that
one-on-one guidance andencouragement and support to
break free is huge.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
As I get rid of the end here.
I always like to ask my guestsone last question.
Can you give my audience and mylisteners one last
encouragement?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
My encouragement would be that you're not alone.
You're not alone.
If you're listening to this andit's kind of resonated with you
maybe you're struggling withthis, or you know someone's
struggling with it or you havein the past just know that
you're not alone.
There is hope.
You're never too broken.
You're never beyond Christ'sforgiveness.
You're not too far damaged thatChrist can make you whole again
(31:36):
and wash you white as snow.
And the most important thingyou need to do is trust in him,
have faith in him and then reachout for help.
You know there are men like meout there.
There are resources out there.
Get help and stop trying tofight this battle alone and have
hope and you could find afreedom, like I did.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Amen, Well, thank you .
Thank you so much for coming on.
It's always greatly appreciatehaving you.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Absolutely Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Thanks.
And where can people reach outto you and connect with you if
they wanted to?
You know talk to you or youknow connect with you.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yeah, you can visit my website.
It's just my name,timothyregalcom.
Or you can follow me on socialmedia, mostly on Twitter and
Instagram, or my name, my screenname on there is just my name,
timothy Regal.
Message me on there, shoot mean email, contact me through my
website.
I'd be glad to reach out andhelp you.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
All right.
Well, guys and girls, thank youso much for coming on and
listening again.
We greatly appreciate havingyou.
I'll have Tim's contact on theshow notes and please like and
review the show and, you know,check out my website as well,
which is also in the show notes.
(32:54):
And until next time, bye-bye,bye-bye.
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