August 3, 2025 • 83 mins
Dori Carmen shares her deeply personal journey from meeting her children's father as a teenager to discovering years later that he had been sexually abusing their children. Her harrowing story exposes the devastating impact of manipulation, domestic abuse, and a flawed justice system.
• Meeting her children's father at 15, discovering his true age and immigration status after becoming pregnant
• Struggling through years of emotional abuse, substance issues, and a toxic relationship while trying to create stability
• Temporarily placing children with their father during a crisis following her mother's death
• The devastating moment her daughter revealed sexual abuse that had been occurring since she was 7
• Her son subsequently disclosing similar abuse experiences
• Reporting to authorities and navigating an investigation that ultimately led to charges
• Ex-husband fleeing after making bail, leaving the family without justice or closure
• Using social media and her voice to warn others and advocate for abuse victims
• Finding strength through therapy and helping her children heal from trauma
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please reach out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN.org for resources and support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You are listening to the Double A Club and this is
your host, NY Boom, and myco-host, Big Daz.
We'll be talking about trendingtopics and healthcare and
basically, just as a disclaimer,just to let the listeners know
that this is just basically onour opinions and speculations
(00:24):
and I hope you guys enjoy theshow.
Let's start off and kick offwith our first topic Hello,
hello, hello.
This is the Double A Club andthis is NYC Boom bringing you
another episode, and I have anincredible woman who has a
(00:46):
phenomenal story that she needsto share with everybody.
Please introduce yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hi, my name is Dori Carmen.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Hello Dori, Carmen and Dori's Carmen.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Dori Carmen.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
And you're from Puerto Rico, right.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I'm from Chicago.
I grew up in Humboldt Park area, okay but you're Puerto Rican
descent yes yes, okay, great,great.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
So so let's start off .
I want you to start from thebeginning with your story.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Tell us how it all started well, I met a young man
through a you know housepartying, and you know I saw him
at the party.
He saw me.
We hit it off on my space,being that we, we were young,
(01:44):
you know it was, you know aplatonic, I would say kind of
encounter, like como un amorplatonico, you know we would
call each other, we wouldmessage each other and it got to
a point where, you know, wewould meet up.
Um, you know I had a strict mom.
(02:06):
My mom was didn't play that,you know, lo, nene, you stay
away from.
Um, she was very adamant aboutyou know, boys and getting
pregnant.
Um, teen pregnancy did encounterin our, in our family, so she
didn't want that to happen again.
So I met this guy, you know wewere, we were talking for a
(02:31):
while and eventually, you know Istarted lying to my mom about,
you know, meeting up with him.
That I see I can may buy.
You call a Hamida he, you knowit got to a point where we were
secretly dating.
Um, you know he told me that hewas 18 and I was 15 at the time
(02:53):
.
I was, uh, I was going from, uh, freshman year to sophomore
year and, um, I ended up gettingpregnant.
My mom found out.
She was very upset, you know,when she found out that he was
18.
It was a big deal.
No quería mandar um a la cance.
(03:13):
You know, she, she didn't, shewasn't very happy with it.
Um, you know, I try to expressto my mom, like you know, I
don't want the abortion routeand as well I didn't want him to
go to jail.
you know, Can you hear me?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, keep going.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
You can hear me.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Yes, keep going Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, I didn't want the abortion route and.
I told my mom.
You know, like I don't, I don'twant to do the abortion and
it's not fair for the baby and Idon't want to send him to jail.
You know, like there's otherways to it.
(04:07):
When I found out that I waspregnant, I went to him with the
ultrasound.
I told him hey, look, you knowyou're the only person that I've
been with.
You know I'm pregnant and wehave to figure this out because
my mom's ready to take you tojail, you know?
Um, long story short, you knowI I end up going to his parents.
I told them like, hey, you knowI'm 15.
(04:27):
I'm young, I need your son tobe in this with me.
He agreed, he agreed to bethere for my baby.
We ended up moving in together.
When we moved in together, hewas like normal, like he was
(04:48):
kind of happy.
You know, it wasn't a situationwhere you know we're like, okay
, let's have a baby.
So it was kind of like, youknow, in both ways it was like,
okay, well, we have to make thiswork because it's you know,
there's a baby on the way.
So I ended up moving in withhim and his family was just they
(05:11):
made my life hell.
So his family, they're honduranyeah so his family made it
difficult, you know, and mebeing puerto rican, they didn't
like that.
When I talked to his family,you know, he told me that he was
18.
Um, I end up getting, uh, moreinformation.
(05:35):
He he said that when we met,when we met, he said that he was
Puerto Rican and that he was 18, and end up being that he
wasn't 18 and he wasn't PuertoRican.
Um, he ended up being Honduran,he wasn't 18.
His cousin actually told methat he was 20 and I kept
(05:56):
fishing like no, you need totell me the truth.
You know, some are telling methat he was 20, some were
telling me that he was 24.
So, at this, me that he was 24.
So, at this point, I'm freakingout like I'm pregnant by
somebody that I don't know.
Um ends up being that he'shonduran, he's 21, turning 22.
(06:16):
Um, it ended up being that hehad a letter of deportation that
I didn't even know about.
Wow.
So at this point, I'm 15,scared, don't know this man,
apparently.
And now I got to worry aboutwhat the fuck is my daughter
going to do in Honduras if hewere to get deported.
(06:37):
And I'm thinking about this allwhen I'm 15.
Scared as fuck this all whenI'm 15, scared as when this
happened.
Um, you know, I talked to myfamily and I'm like I don't want
to.
You know, I don't want to getrid of this baby.
It's not the baby's fault, itwas my fault.
You know I should have listenedand I shouldn't have, you know,
(06:58):
went behind my, my mom's backand did the stuff that I did.
You know these are myconsequences.
I made my bed and I should liein it, um, within three months
of the baby being born yeah thefamily was just very hostile,
(07:20):
saying que you know Puerto Rwomen, they pin their babies on
everybody and they were justtreating me like trash, treating
me like garbage.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
So they didn't have a reason for it.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
As the months went by , you know he didn't have a
steady job.
He wasn't really.
You know he wasn't making anymoney and my family was like,
okay, well, let me give him anopportunity.
They were working in downtownchicago.
And they're like, okay, well,let's get him in a, in a good
paying job, so that way he canprovide for his you know, his
(07:54):
baby.
Um, I end up having him work atmy sister's job and that's when
everything started to change.
You know, he was getting drunk,you know, just lying, cheating,
(08:15):
and I end up breaking up withhim.
Um being the time that I brokeup with him, I moved with my mom
, um, but I was still in chulawith him, I was still in love
with him.
You know he's now, he's thefather of my child.
You know I want to make thiswork, so I would still look like
(08:38):
we would still look for eachother, um.
With that being said, you knowthat's when I end up getting
pregnant with my second son.
So we're like back and forthtogether, not together, you know
, but for the sake of the babies, you know like we wanted to try
to make it work.
I end up finding out that I'mpregnant with my second child,
(08:59):
which is a boy.
You know my first was a girland then my second child was a,
which is a boy.
You know my first was a girland then my second one was a boy
.
And you know, the moment that Itold him that I'm pregnant,
he's laughing at me.
He's like, I know, and I'm like, what do you mean?
You know he's like, yeah, Ipurposely got you pregnant.
I'm like, well, that's not,that's not something to be.
(09:22):
You know, like it's not funny.
He wasn't being funny, whatever.
So now I'm stuck with twobabies.
You know it's kind of rocky.
I'm trying to make it work.
I was 17 when I got pregnantwith my son, so I was in senior,
senior year, when I was Toobaby already.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And you haven't graduated yet Two babies already
, and you haven't graduated highschool.
So yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
So I was, you know, with the second one, and I was
battling school.
My mom was like, no, you're notthe way you die.
You know this is your secondone, to not bring this to the la
primera.
And I'm like, but I love thisman, you know, like, I love him
with all my heart and you know,like, he said he wanted to be
with me and I'm over heretrusting him, like, okay, well,
(10:17):
I had the first one, I had thesecond one.
Now it's like it's now or never.
You know, like he, like he, hasto assume his responsibilities.
Okay, well, you know, Ipurposely got you in pregnant.
Okay, well, you purposely gotme pregnant.
Now you have to, now you haveto make it work, not forcing it,
(10:39):
but it was like, it was like aninfatuation.
He didn't want to be with me,but he didn't want me to be with
anyone.
(11:00):
This letter of deportation,like you know, I, I'm, I'm on my
second trial and we can't keepdoing this.
You know like you need to fixsomething, because I have no
parts in Honduras, I don't haveno family over there and I'm not
gonna travel over there if theywere to deport you.
I'm pregnant with my baby.
(11:21):
I was probably six months withmy boy and I end up getting
married with him.
Mind you, I went behind myparents back.
I went behind my family's back.
The only people that were at mymarriage in City Hall were his
family.
Get passed out when everybodyfound out.
(11:42):
Oh, they were so freaking mad.
They were so mad.
I mean, not even Katie habla.
I bet they were so freaking mad.
They were so mad.
I mean nadie me quería hablar.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I bet.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
They were so disappointed at that point
because they're like Chacho, note quería ayudar con la primera,
bajis y te embarazas con elsegundo.
You know, like something has togive, or at least keep the
family in loop.
So because I got married withhim and it was more like sole
(12:08):
purpose of fixing his letter ofdeportation, get by some.
Here we get married, he gets acut that I've been done from.
We could hear he ends upgetting his daca because he was
here from uh, since he was eightyears old.
So he fled from hondurasbecause there were there were
(12:32):
literally there.
Um so they up, they uprootedfrom honduras and they came over
here.
Um so from then they had foundhim in mccallan, texas, so
that's where he got thedeportation from um so they end
(12:54):
up giving him the, daca they endup giving him a working permit
um a social.
So from there I I'm like okay,well, I'm going to help you, so
that way you can help us in afamily sense.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
The cheating, the lying, you know.
It got to a point where he wasworking two jobs, couldn't make
ends meet.
I find out that he has acocaine addiction.
Rant comes no hay dinero.
Things are missing.
(13:32):
I have to move back into mymom's house.
I'm ping ponging.
You know like the two babiestrying to figure out life.
I end up graduating from highschool um at my mom's house.
So I was like ping-ponging, youknow I, I didn't know what to
(13:53):
do with my life, you know I, Ijust.
But I was still in love withhim, or the illusion of what a
family could feel.
Once I graduated high school,you know, I wanted my kids to
(14:17):
feel what it feels like to havetwo parents in the household.
Even though the the cheating,even though the drug addiction,
I still wanted my kids to havetheir father and their mother
together and teach them like, nomatter what, mommy and poppy
fought together to make ithappen for you guys to make a
(14:41):
family um.
Again the cheating, again thedrugs, again, pero el one a gaba
.
But I knew it because, you know, growing up and in an
environment where there wasdrugs all the time, I already
know los o.
(15:03):
You know como se comportabasiempre se estaba jodiendo con
la nariz.
You know I would always see thesigns.
But in my mind I'm like, no, ifhe says no, it's no.
Okay, I won't keep fighting it,you know, for the sake of the
kids.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Once I had enough.
I seen you know his laptop andhis phone.
You know him messaging.
He was cheating on me withco-workers.
He end up, you know, likeadmitting to it that he was
cheating and I'm like, no, I'm,I'm like done, like you know
(15:42):
tanta mierda que tú me has hechopasar por tantos años.
And I just I can't do it.
So I moved back for my mom Yestaba buscando un apartamento.
Cuando estaba buscando unapartamento, I ended up finding
one and I moved out.
You know, I was like I'm done,you can co-parent with me.
(16:05):
You know, to see home.
When I said to see home, I'mgoing to still be their mom, you
know, go just co-parent.
When I left his house, I didn'tknow that I was pregnant.
Oh, for the third time threefor the third time.
(16:29):
Three, oh, for the third time.
And when I went to go tell him,um, the reason why I found out
that I was pregnant the thirdtime was because I was in a car
accident, you know, and in thehospital they're like, oh, you
have whiplash andcongratulations, you're pregnant
.
I'm devastated because I'mtrying to get away from this man
.
You know, like, like all thelying, cheating hurt.
I'm like, you know, somethinghas to give.
So I ended up finding out thatI'm pregnant with my third child
(16:55):
, que pasa.
I go to him and I'm like, hey,you know, you've literally been
the only man that I've been with.
You know, like, I'm pregnantagain.
He's like, oh, that's not mychild, that's not my son.
Figure out who's, you know babyis that?
And I'm like I just literallyleft your house.
We were living together.
(17:15):
Like, what do you mean?
Find the other, you know,father of the child.
I, I leave that house, you know.
I tell him I'm pregnant.
He didn't want nothing to dowith it.
That's where everything started.
So he has the pattern of whenI'm pregnant, she don't want to
(17:35):
be with me, he don't want todeal with the pregnancy, he
don't want to.
You know, go to theappointments, nada de.
So he just don't want any parts.
Now, when I had my son, when Ifinally had him and he seen that
he looked exactly like him,he's like okay, I want to be
back with you.
(17:55):
I want to, you know, makethings work.
So it was a pattern of quecuando ya tenia a little baby,
when I had the babies, he wantedto be with me.
But when I was pregnant, youknow, I was fucking with other
(18:18):
girls and having fun, goingclubbing, buying girls, drinks.
So when I had my son, he's likeno, come on, let's make this
work.
He's like I'm so sorry it didn'twork out like that family
telling me all all the stuffthat he was doing.
You know I'm I'm doing hislaundry.
I find a cocaine in a bag.
That was my confirmation.
(18:39):
You know he used to always denyit and I'm like, hmm, like some
something told me and and therewas a hint, you know, but that
was just a confirmation of hehas a problem.
He has a real big problem.
You know his family's on myback because we moved in with
his family, peleando, peleando.
(19:09):
You know the cheating him, himlying to me, llegaba borracho,
and you know it got to a pointwhere I'm like I can't do this
no more.
It was times where you know wewould get into a fistfight.
You know le pegaba a mi hijo,or you know like it was more of
the.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
So he would hit you like a common hombre.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
You know, I see a no no conmigo.
Si tu quieres darle a alguien,pégame a mi.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Oh, so you volunteer.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
And we used to fist fight.
We used to fist fight and youknow, con el chiquito it got to
a point where I'm like this is apattern.
And I got to the point where yome quería matar, yo no quería
vivir Y no era por mis hijos,era por el tratamiento like man.
(20:13):
I love this man and he'shurting me.
I gave you life, I gave youthree lives, and you treated me
like garbage, peleando con lafamilia, peleando con él.
So I'm like, okay, well, thelast one.
You know he tried to hit my sonlike a man.
(20:34):
So I hit his ass back.
I'm like, no, you're not goingto hit my son like that.
¿qué pasó?
He body slammed me on top of mybaby El chiquito.
He body slammed me on top of mybaby El Chiquito.
He body slammed me on top ofhim.
I had enough.
I had enough.
I grabbed my stuff.
I had already bags packed in mytrunk.
(20:55):
I grabbed my kids.
My kids didn't even have shoesthat day.
I packed up their stuff and I'mlike, no, ya, basta.
You know he could.
He was amazing father.
He never gave me an ache of,you know, being a terrible
father.
He was.
He was a loving father.
Pero cuando se le, when he wason drugs, and he would deny it.
(21:18):
When he was on drugs he wasmore of the aggressive Era, bien
agresivo.
He was more of the aggressiveera, bien agresivo.
He never gave me that inch oflike that.
He was a bad father.
He just had problems, just likeand you know, like, any other
parent I found out about.
(21:39):
You know, like he was trying tohit my son and he body slammed
me and I grabbed my stuff, Iwent to the police station, made
a police report, um, and I toldhim I didn't want to be with
him.
But I told him why I didn'twant to be with him.
It was, it was messing up withmy mental all these years.
Like I felt, like you know, I Igave up my life, my hopes, my
(22:00):
dreams to make a family and hewas just playing in my face the
whole time.
So when that happened, I wentto you know, I told him I wanted
a divorce, I didn't want to bewith him anymore.
And when that happened, youknow, he was just like he just
(22:23):
didn't care.
He, he was just like he justdidn't care.
He partied more, drinking more,you know.
But I didn't take that intoconsideration of it was because
of the kids, it was because ofme and him.
When I decided that I wanted toget the divorce, I told my mom I
, I'm like Mira, mommy, likeyou're looking for a place to
(22:45):
move into, I'm looking for aplace to move into.
I need out for the sake of thekids so I can be okay.
You know, like I, how can I beokay and, you know, be there for
my kids if I'm not okay?
So I end up moving out.
And I told my mom, like mom,like mommy, I need, I, I need to
(23:06):
get this divorce.
Why don't we move in togetherso that way, you know, I can get
that type of closure where Ican pay for this divorce, get
away from him and still be ableto make it as a single mom.
You know, I didn't have a lotof means.
I was working at the timefiddle.
It was gonna be hard, you know,because I he had his family
(23:30):
helping support my kids and nowI wasn't gonna have that anymore
.
So, okay, um, we move into anapartment and within two weeks
she dies.
Who, my mom?
I'm sorry so when my mom uh, shepasses away, she passes away in
(23:54):
my apartment and I end upfinding her.
My kids are in the other roomand they don't know that their
grandma had passed away.
And i'm'm calling him, like,hey, my mom is dead in the other
room.
Can you help me pick them up?
Help me do something.
The whole time he's like, oh,that's none of my problem.
(24:16):
I'm like, look, help me.
My kids can't see this.
My mom ended up passing away inmy daughter's arms and she
didn't know about it.
And I'm just screaming on thephone like, come, get them.
You know like, you're theirfather, regardless if we're
together or not, like we got aco-parent.
(24:42):
It was a big fight and I'm likeI already know how this is gonna
turn out.
He's just mad because I don'twant to be with him.
He's gonna make my life hell.
Come the funeral fighting withme.
I'm like, look, I'm not in amental space for you to be
fighting with me.
You know like, just help mewith the babies until I get my
(25:02):
mental right.
Come the funeral, igual igual,fighting with me.
His mom is there.
Mind you, I don't have a goodrelationship with his mom.
I literally had to fight herbecause you know she was
overstepping her, her boundarieswhen it came to how I was
parenting.
She would say you like that shewished that I was dead so that
(25:27):
way she can have my kids.
That was the type ofrelationship that I had to do
with his side of the family.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
They don't sound like good people.
They don't sound like goodpeople.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah, I know, yeah, I know, I know I'll keep going,
keep going, keep going.
So when that happened about,you know, like, when I was
telling him about, you know, mymom and he was at the funeral,
and you know, when it came tohim helping me with the kids, I
was not in the right state ofmind.
You know how do you cope with.
You're going through a divorce,you found your mom dead, your
(26:30):
kids are literally experiencinggrief and you don't know how to,
like, I couldn't function.
I couldn't function as a, as amom, as a daughter, as as a
person.
I just couldn't function.
You know, like, and I'm tellinghim, como madre, I'm like, I
(26:52):
can't be there for my kids if Ican't be there for myself.
I lost the only person thatevery time shit hit the fan, I
would run to her.
Whenever, I would get in afistfight with him.
Whenever, you know, my kidswere hungry and he didn't have
the money to feed them.
I didn't have the money to feedthem.
I would always run to her.
So that safe place, that safehaven.
(27:13):
I didn't have the money to feedthem.
I would always run to her.
So that safe place, that safehaven.
I didn't have her anymore.
And that was the mostdevastating thing, because I'm
like, I'm trying to, I'm tryingto face the biggest battle in my
life, and that's him.
Put my, my love, my, my, mydreams of having a family on
(27:35):
hold and try to get away fromthis guy, because all I know is
that's.
That's how we got to that point.
It got to a point where I justcouldn't, and then to know that
I don't have that person thatwould always pick me up when I
fell on my face that sucks.
(27:55):
That it was devastating.
I told him I was like look, youknow, I lost my mom.
I'm not in a mental space.
Can you keep them for a coupleweeks while I do therapy?
Or, you know, like, try to getmyself together.
Lost my job.
I couldn't function.
(28:17):
I lost my job.
I was just not in a good space.
I had bills piling up, rent wasdue.
I was on the verge of beinghomeless.
With that being said, ellostienen su padre, ellos tienen su
(28:38):
padre.
Me and him might have not had agood relationship, or we would
have ended up in bad terms, buthe was still their father.
You know, he would claim thathe was father of the year.
Father of the year, mi nene,nene, me, nene, me, nene.
Okay, well, this is your timeto step up.
You know, like I can't do itright now and you as a father,
(29:00):
if I can't do it then you'regonna have to do it.
So, at the time, he was livingwith his parents, so his parents
had their um, my kids had theirown room at their parents house
, you know, at his parents house.
Well, their grandparents andI'm like what you know, let me
sit down and talk to thegrandparents and let's get to,
you know, a common ground whereyou know we can all co-parent
(29:25):
and make sure that what'sbeneficial to the kids.
What do I?
I sat down the the grandparentsand I talked to them and I told
them hey, you know, I'm goingthrough a situation where I'm
home, I'm basically going to behomeless and you know, my kids
have a stable place here withthe kids.
(29:52):
Until I get on my feet, you knowit's going to take a couple
weeks or, you know, at least amonth or two, you know, to get
back on my feet.
I need this help.
Like you guys were saying thatyou guys want to be involved and
you know, to let you guys bewith the kids.
Okay, well, this is a time thatI need, you know, what's best
for my kids and right now,mentally, I wasn't okay.
(30:14):
I don't have anything stable atthe moment and as a mom, you
want, you know, to have your kid, your kids, be stable and have
a perfect environment for themso they can thrive, you know
when they're growing up.
So I thought that that wasgoing to be the best plan for
(30:34):
them, being that thegrandparents have their own
house.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
The grandparents.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Nobody can uproot them unless they don't do what
they have to do.
Yeah, I understand, but Ithought, okay, well, they have
their own house, my have theirown room.
Let them stay there until I geton my feet, get bus.
Um, I had an agreement with himwhere, um, I found a job.
(31:07):
I had an agreement with him andI was telling him, like, on the
weekends, when I'm off, likeyou know, I'll go visit them.
Um, I didn't want to deal withthat family, no more.
So it was more of the I wasgoing to see them on the weekend
until I got my stuff together,um, but it became where he would
(31:29):
ask me for sex in order for meto see them.
And I was just hurting myself,you know, like, I know that I
didn't want to deal with him.
I know that I didn't want to,you know, have to deal with that
anymore, but at the same time,it was like I had to do what I
had to do so I can be able tosee my kids.
(31:50):
He wouldn't let me see them.
It was, uh, que tus hijos no tequieren ver, um, tú no haces
nada por tus hijos.
So that mother guilt.
You know, like I was just doingwhat I had to do in order for
me to see them.
And he was holding my kids youknow, my kids over my head and
(32:12):
I'm'm like but I just want tosee my babies.
You know, like, no matter what,I'm still their mom and I'm
still not gonna give up on them.
We're fighting.
We're fighting.
Um, it got to a point where hewas threatening to take my kids
away.
Um, I end up dating somebody andwhen I was dating that person,
(32:36):
uh, he was kind of jealous, hewas kind of mad, and I'm like
you know, you had your familyand you didn't want that family.
Um, you know, like it got to apoint where he was forcing me to
have sex and because I didn'twant to do that anymore, I ended
up finding a guy that I wasdating and it probably, if he
(32:59):
knew that I was saying that guy,he wouldn't ask me anymore.
You know, it got to a pointwhere I paid for the divorce.
He's like if you want a divorce, you pay for it.
And I'm like, I'm like, okay,fine, I'll pay for it.
And I did.
I paid for it, but it stilldidn't stop him.
(33:22):
Um, it was.
It got to the point where I hadto be honest with the guy that
I was dating and I'm like, look,he's making me do things that I
don't want to do and I'mcomplying because, as a mother,
I'm going to do what I have todo in order for me to see my
kids.
That turned into a domestic.
I ended up getting away fromthe dude.
(33:45):
I pressed charges andeverything and got away from
that.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
He's over here laughing in my face like, oh,
this is what you get this is thenew boyfriend yeah, that was my
new boyfriend at the time hebeat you up yeah, he beat me up
to the point where because myface was unrecognizable because
(34:15):
of this, because of when hefound out that I was sleeping
still with my with my ex-husbanddamn
Speaker 2 (34:23):
just to be able to see my kids.
Yeah, I got away from that andhe was still like holding it
over my head because I didn'twant to sleep with him.
So I'm getting my ass beat.
I lost my mom.
He's holding the kids over myhead and forcing me to do shit
that I didn't want to do.
I end up trying to committingsuicide because I try to commit
(34:48):
suicide.
He went to the court and he gottemporary custody of my kids
roll back for a second roll backnow.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
When you attempted suicide.
When you attempted suicide, howdid you do it?
What?
Speaker 2 (35:06):
I grabbed the knife and I try to cut my veins into
different parts of my arm.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
You really went through it.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I had blood out for a whole day Like I was
hallucinating.
I wasn't in my right mind.
You know I'm bleeding out.
All I remember is texting himtelling him to tell my babies
(35:41):
that I love them, and nobodyunderstood why.
I said that he texted my sisterand my sister knew where I was
at and she called the police.
She called the ambulance.
She called everybody cameknocking in my door.
(36:02):
I ended up going to the hospitaland my family's, like you know
they, found out why I tried tokill myself.
You know, because he wasforcing me to have sex with him
just to see my kids.
He wasn't allowing me to see mykids, it was just really
abusive.
And he's's like no, she's lying, she's lying.
And they're asking him like doyou not care?
You know, like do you not careabout?
She just tried to kill herselfbecause you're making her do
(36:25):
shit.
So at that point he acted likehe was caring, you know, about
the situation.
And he's like I'll tell her tostop, I won't do that, no more.
And with that being said, hewent to the court and used that
I committed to, like tried tocommit suicide, that I wasn't in
(36:47):
my right state of mind and thatI abandoned my kids, so they
granted him temporary custody,but, being that I didn't tell
him where I was living, I wasnever served.
Um, fast forwarding to.
I got out of the hospital, Igot, got straight to work.
(37:09):
You know I I went to work,found a job, went to work, try
to get my together, um, myliving situation together.
I wasn't living with the guythat was beating me up anymore,
um, but I was still trying tosee my kids.
Yeah, he wasn't letting me seemy kids.
Um, it ended up being, likeprobably a couple months after
(37:44):
that he started calling me likeDCFS is getting involved because
the kids are acting up inschool.
And I'm like trying to figureout, like, what's going on.
Like, why is DCFS trying to getinvolved?
My son was hitting the teachers.
He was making them bleed.
My daughter was always sayingthat she didn't want to go to
school.
So at this point they'recalling him and he's not
answering, or they'll tell himto come pick up the kids and he
(38:06):
wouldn't pick them up.
So they're calling me like, hey, I don't know what's going on
between both of you guys.
You guys need to like getinvolved.
You need to get involved.
Dcfs was contacted and he'slike hey, I don't know what's
going on with these kids.
These kids are acting up.
Dcfs is getting involved.
(38:29):
I think it's time for you totake them.
I'm thinking like OK, like okay, well, probably they're acting
up because they want to be withtheir mom.
You know, that's a bigtransition from not being with
their mom and having theirfather and their whole, his side
of the family, telling themmommy, not they kidding mommy,
you know.
(38:49):
So that was a big transitionfrom seeing me every day to not
seeing me at all.
Dcfs got involved.
He ended up giving me the kids.
I'm like, okay, well, you know,shit's getting weird.
So I tried to transfer them outof school.
I tried to transfer them out ofschool.
(39:10):
They're like, no, you can'ttransfer them out of school.
They're like, no, you can'ttransfer them out of school.
I'm like what do you mean?
They're like, well, you don'thave any rights to them.
And I'm like what do you mean?
Yeah, there's a.
You lost custody of them andyou don't have any rights to
them.
You can't transfer them out.
You have to ask their fatherfor permission.
(39:30):
And I'm like, well, I didn'tget served, I didn't know
anything.
She ends up going to the schooland telling them, yeah, they're
gonna transfer, you knowthey're gonna go stay with their
mom now and, um, mind you, Istill didn't know about this, uh
(39:54):
, the temporary custody.
I was never served, um beingthat because I didn't give him
my address and he was mad that Ididn't want to give him my
address because he was toxic.
Um, because I didn't have thoserights.
(40:15):
I went to the library.
I typed up on a paper, you know, stating that he needs to give
me back my, the medical rights,the school rights, um, any type
of rights that I need to make anexecutive decision for my
children when it's needed,decision for my children when
(40:38):
it's needed.
For him to oblige, you know,like to give me the okay.
I went to the library, typed upthat paper and we were gonna
get it in order eyes where hewould have to sign and I would
have to sign it, and that wouldgive me, um, at least a leeway
for me to have some type ofrights back without him fighting
like saying that I don't haveany rights.
It's on paper.
(41:00):
That day I typed that paper down, I called him.
I was like, hey, you know, Igot to get these kids into
school ASAP.
You know, they're missing outon learning.
They're missing, missing out onschool.
We need to get the ball rolling, um, I showed him the paper to
sign.
We're at the currency exchangeat that point and he doesn't
(41:22):
know anything of what I typedout.
I'm like I'm reading it to him,you know, making sure that he
understands what I I typed.
Come on, no pendejo, no sabíana.
He just signed the paper.
I'm like okay, it goes in myfavor.
You know, now it's time toshine.
After everything that he made mego through not being able to
(41:44):
see my kids, making me do thingsthat I didn't want to do,
making sure that the kids knewthat yo los abandoné, que yo no
los quería this is my time toshine now.
I got my kids and now, now I'mgonna put up a fight.
You know, I had to play mycards right, get pasta.
When I went to um to transferthem in, I had that paper it was
(42:07):
.
It was a green light.
Now we had an agreement of hewould see them on the weekends
and I would keep them during theweekdays.
Now it comes the weekend, me,huh, she's.
No, I don't want to go, mom, Idon't want to go, tears in her
(42:28):
eyes and I will tell him, like,hey, you know, do we have a?
A?
No, kidding latukasa.
And he like, what a?
I know, say Manda, a I knowsome on that she don't have.
She can't tell anybody what todo if she, she has to come to my
house, and I'm like, well, shekind of has a you know an option
(42:51):
with me.
She has an option if shedoesn't want to go.
I'm not going to force her, butremember, I had those rights
and, mind you, I had that paper,the notarized paper.
But you know, in the, in thepolice eyes, he has this paper
(43:13):
with the judge, you know thestamp of the judge, like they're
going to listen to him.
What happened?
Every time he would want topick up the kids and the kids
didn't want to go, he would senda sheriff to my house.
I'm like, well, mommy, papi,I'm sorry, guys, you know, but I
can't really do anything.
You know he's, he's playing thepolice cars, you know, always
(43:42):
bringing sheriffs to my house.
And I, there's no way that Ican fight your dad.
There's no way, you know, I hesays that he wants you guys to
go Spend time with him.
Then by all means, like, um, Ican't fight him on that.
(44:04):
Um, my daughter was really likeshe started changing.
Um, she wanted to dress up likeloose shirt, loose pants.
You know everybody was givingher shit about.
Okay, yes, I, I get it out on amuddy matcha.
You know, like, dress up like atomboy, like a stud, and I'm
like, well, if she's trying tolearn who she is, they halla,
leave her alone, let her be.
You know she's trying to learnwho she is and try to express
(44:27):
yourself.
So in my Instinct it was KF.
I'll come yendo like a normalteenager.
She's a preteen going to herface, like you know, she's kind
of acting distant.
So in her mind, everything thather dad was telling her and her
grandma was telling her, shewas believing that I abandoned
(44:48):
them, that I didn't love them.
So she pushed me away and ittook me like a long time for me
to gain that trust back with her.
Pero que ya no quería con supadre, que ya no quería.
Um.
So it's lani, zaya and titithose are their names.
Lani no quería ir, zaya noquería.
(45:11):
Pero titi, si el chiquitoquería ir zaya no quería.
Pero titi, si el chiquito andI'm like, well, don't kidding,
he's like no mandalo los tresque yo no se mandan, que yo no
se mandan um.
And they got to a point where,okay, they were going on the
(45:31):
weekends, you know they weregoing to their dad's house, but
in reality they were going totheir grandparents house, that's
where he lived.
Um, eventually they started,you know, going on the weekends
and it got to a point where mydaughter was learning how to be
on tiktok and you know it waskind of a parenting where she
(45:55):
was trying to be kind ofprovocative and I didn't know
the reason why.
But I'll be like Lonnie, youknow how many pedophiles are on
TikTok or you know, like on theinternet in in general.
Yeah, I'm like you need towatch what you post, what kind
of dances you do, the assshaking can you can do that.
(46:16):
You know, I'm giving her these,these guidelines on what I
expect from her as my child, youknow, because I have rules, um.
So she posted a video and he'slike, oh okay, I get it.
I thought, come on a puta.
He's like she wants to act likea prostitute online.
(46:39):
So he's like very adamant abouther, you know posting on
tick-tock.
So I'm like, okay, well, asparents, we're gonna talk to
each other and I'm like betterto know live, I vas a llamar una
puta a mi hija.
That was like a kind of like ared flag.
Mind you, when he was with them, ellos me salian con piojo.
(47:02):
When I would see them on theweekend, I'm constantly cleaning
out their piojos out of theirhead.
No tenian ropa, no tenianzapato, you know.
So that time that I would takeout on the weekends to be with
them, it was to clean their hairout, make sure that they had no
clothes, make sure that theyhad no shoes.
(47:22):
But when I got them fully,también me salían con puto piojo
.
And I'm like, well, where's the, where's the root cause of the
piojo?
Um, he didn't know.
With the whole tiktok we weretalking about, you know, like
(47:44):
certain things that she wasposting, she had an issue with
that when it came to it was alot of things that were going on
back to back with the wholeclothing.
So now she's getting boy crazy.
When she got boy crazy, look,mommy, like there's certain
(48:15):
things that you can do and can'tdo.
You know, take me for anexample.
You know like I was lying to mymom and that lie turned into me
being a teen mom and you know Idon't want you to go through
that.
It was really hard.
I make it look easy, but it'sreally hard.
So there's this little boy thatwas like taking an interest in
her.
So there's this little boy thatwas like taking an interest in
her and she was like, oh, I likehim but I can't be with him.
(48:37):
You know, like it can't happen.
So he had a tablet that wasconnected to her phone, so he
was looking at the messages thatthey were sending each other,
because the tablet was was athis house and the phone was at
my house.
So he's like calling me, likeanswer the phone, beat her ass,
(49:00):
beat her ass.
And I'm like I'm not gonna beather ass, I'm gonna talk to my
child, because that's what youdo.
You talk with your words, youdon't talk with your hands.
You know, like why would I beather ass over a little boy?
Ella inocente, ella no sabenada um about boys.
You know, like she's justlearning what, what it is to
have a crush on a boy, and likea boy that beat her ass, beat
(49:22):
her ass, like he's literallylike trying to instruct me on to
beat her ass.
And I'm like, no, that I'm notgonna do that.
And I'm telling my daughterlike you see, lonnie, like
there's certain conversationsthat I'm having with you and you
keep, you know, talking tothese boys and look at your
dad's on the phone telling me towhoop your ass.
And I don't want to whoop yourass.
(49:43):
I'm trying to have aconversation with you about
these boys.
She starts sobbing and I'm likewhat's going on?
Why are you crying?
And I'm like what's going on?
(50:16):
Why are you crying?
I didn't even hit you.
I'm trying to talk to you.
She's like no, and there'speople around or you know, I
can't talk out or look atanything inappropriate.
If you want to take me to thebathroom, or you want to pull me
to the side, or you want totake me anywhere, by all means
feel free to tell me.
Hey, mom, that's our code word.
Let's go to the bathroom gotchaso once she tells me that let's
(50:38):
go to the bathroom, my heartdrops.
Hang up the phone with him.
I didn't give a what he wassaying about you know, he was
just.
He was acting weird and I'mlike better, you know, cosa de
nene.
You know, puppy love, whateverthe fuck.
It is Like eso, cosa de nene.
It had nothing to do with why Iwould beat my child.
She's like we go to thebathroom and she's like mom,
(51:04):
remember all those times thatyou told me that if something or
somebody did something veryinappropriate, to take you to
the bathroom.
And I'm like, yeah, I remember.
Um, you know like I always tellyou guys, if something happens,
you need to let me know and notbe scared.
She said, well, my dad has beendoing inappropriate things to
(51:27):
me.
Fuck, my heart broke and I waslike no, wait, here, I had my
husband at the time and mysister in La Casa.
She was going to a domestic.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
You're married now.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
I'm married again, yeah.
I'm married again, you know, hewas with me through the whole
battle of trying to get themback.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
And this is not a domestic thing, like this wasn't
a bad relation.
No domestic violence, nothing.
He ain't hit you.
No, no, no, okay, good, no,he's.
He's been supporting.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
Este es un corazón de oro.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
So keep on.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
He, when he met me my husband, right now my current
husband he met me when I wasgetting beat up by the dude.
So when I was getting beat upby the dude, he helped me pack
up my car and get away from thedude.
(52:29):
He said, no, you, you deservebetter and this is not a life
that you need to live.
And he helped me pack up mystuff.
He didn't, he wasn't perverted,he wasn't looking for anything
other than me getting out ofthat situation.
Never thought of like, okay,we're going to date, we're not
(52:52):
we're're, you know, messingaround or anything like that.
He was.
He was just okay, we're gonnaget you out of this situation
and you need to focus on yourkids.
Um, fast forwarding.
You know he was helping me getmy kids financially.
He was helping me get theirbeds to make sure that they had
(53:13):
their school supplies, theirshoes, a roof over the head, cuz
you know I'm like fuck.
Like you know, they had a houseover there with their
grandparents.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
I feel like the least that.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
I should do is make sure that they have their house.
You know, when they come overhere, mommy's gonna make sure
that you guys got your own room,make sure that you guys got
your own space.
I owe that to you guys, youknow.
So you know I end up dating himfor a while.
My kids didn't meet him tilllike after a year.
(53:46):
So you know it was.
We did the proper steps inorder for me to be secure that,
okay, this is the man that I'mgoing to be with and I'm going
to introduce my kids to.
He helped me fight when I sayhe helped me fight, get my kids
back and get my mental back tobe able to be strong enough to
(54:07):
help me fight my kids he madesure of every single thing was
taken care of.
So when that moment that she wasin the bathroom and she told me
mommy, poppy has been doinginappropriate stuff to me, I
stopped her in her tracks.
You I mean for you to be a momand you hear poppy poppy's doing
(54:34):
something to you I stopped.
I told her to stop saying stopin her tracks.
I want to go get my sister thatwas in the Sala and my husband
that was in the Sala.
You know, my sister has alwaysbeen through everything with me.
She's like cheeky, likewherever I go she goes.
So I'm like Melina and I toldyou know, my husband's Mikey.
(55:00):
I was like Melina and Mikey,can you please come with me to
the bathroom?
You will not believe I didn'teven have words.
I was like, can you just cometo the bathroom?
And they're like well, what'sgoing on?
And I'm like Jelani, go aheadand say what you got to say.
She started saying how, when shewas seven years old mind you,
(55:26):
this is around the time that mymom had passed away and I I gave
the kids to him que cuando shewas seven years old, he started
touching on her, que le tocabalos senos, que le tocaba el
trasero, her private parts, quele estaba haciendo watch porno.
(55:46):
That he would put theheadphones on her so nobody else
would hear when she wassleeping in her own room.
He would pick her up and takeher to his room.
She was describing his penis.
She was describing his penis.
She was describing how to come.
Look, um, in four, fourdifferent occasions he tried to
(56:10):
penetrate her, but she waspushing him off.
Um, it was a lot of details, tothe point where I'm like
there's no way a child is gonnamake this shit up.
There's no way a child is goingto make this shit up.
No, there's no way.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
There's no fucking way.
No fucking way.
That's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (56:30):
To the detail, to the tea?
No, no way.
One day she had came from herdad's house and, mind you, this
is before I even had the papersFor the rights, before I had the
papers for the rights, before Igot the papers for the rights
for him to sign off the rights.
And I'm freaking the fuck out.
(56:55):
I'm like Lani, I burned myselfwith a flat iron.
I'm like that's a bullshit asslie.
Don't fucking come to me andtell me that it's a flat iron
burn.
I'm like I've burned myself foryears with a flat iron and not
once has it looked like that.
(57:17):
I call him.
What's going on over there?
Do you want me to call DCFS andthe police?
Like what's what the fuck isgoing on over there?
Do you want me to call dcfs andthe police?
Like what's what the fuck isgoing on in that house?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm like she came home with ahickey.
Well, I don't know what's goingon and I'm like but you, she
just came from your house.
I was trying to play my cards,right, and I couldn't sit there
(57:46):
and go to the police and callDCFS because I didn't have
enough evidence.
It was my word against his.
I'm going to look like the badone, because he already coerced
her to saying that it was a flatiron.
(58:06):
So when she's opening up andtelling me that he's doing all
these things to her, I'm likefiddle.
Was he drunk?
Was he on drugs?
Like he smelled like liquor.
I'm like fiddle.
You know I'm occasional drinker, I'm not gonna lie.
(58:30):
That wouldn't in my mind thinklike, okay, well, I'm gonna get
drunk and I'm gonna touch on mychild.
There's no amount of liquor orno amount of drug or no amount
of any type of thing that wouldpossess me in my mind to think
that, hey, I'm gonna come homeand touch my child.
Yeah, you're right.
(58:51):
Um, she was saying that.
You know, the next day he wouldsay that he's sorry, that he
was confusing her with the woman.
But, mind you, every time thathe would look at her, he would
always tell me that I remind,that she reminds him of me.
(59:15):
So, with that being said, hewould always tell her the next
day that he was sorry.
That to please not tell anybodyand he would always.
So imagine a child that wantsto be with her mother and is
(59:41):
going through all this traumacan't tell her mother because
she's scared to lose her mother.
Speaker 1 (59:47):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
As soon as she told me that and I brought my husband
and I brought my sister in thesame room to listen to the he
that she was saying, that he wasmaking her do one, because I
didn't want them to make it seemlike I was the one that was
forcing her to say that numbertwo.
I needed witnesses, yeah I hadto play my cards right, yeah,
(01:00:14):
you did go to the police station.
I I made the report.
So when I made the report, thenext day I had to go to the
school and I had to tell themhey, um, you see this man, don't
let him come in, do not let himtake my kids out of this, you
(01:00:36):
know, out of class.
Do not let him leave with mykids off school property, do not
, do not make that mistake.
Um, so I go to this.
You know, when I go to theschool, the counselor's like
well, you have to, you know,make sure that you tell your
your boys, um, give them areason as to why they can't see
(01:00:59):
their father.
You just can't tell them, hey,you can't see your father, and
not give them a reason.
That's going to make them oneact out in school and they're
not in the loop.
You have to make sure that youkeep them in the loop.
Solo siento yo to the boys.
You know I have a stepdaughter.
You know my husband has adaughter from a previous
(01:01:20):
relationship and I'm helping himraise her too.
So when I had to sit down andtell the boys, hey, you know,
like you can't see your father,I had to legit give them a
reason why.
But I wasn't gonna go into fulldetail.
So I sat the boys down, zayaand titi and my stepdaughter,
(01:01:41):
because she had to know as wellthat it's not okay.
If you don't like, it's notokay.
You know, if you're beingtouched in an inappropriate way,
you need to let somebody know,you need to speak up.
So I sat down my boys and Itold them like you know, you
can't see your dad until furthernotice and, um, it has to do
(01:02:03):
with something with Lonnie andit was very inappropriate.
I didn't go into detail, I,that's all I just said everybody
knew el chiquito.
He raises his hand and he's like, um, mom.
And I'm like, yeah, what's up?
Usually know he's the type he'sgoofy, he doesn't, he's not
(01:02:23):
serious when it comes toanything.
So I'm like thinking to myselfokay, titi's gonna make a joke
right now, the wrong time ever.
So he raises his hand and I'mlike, titi, what's up?
He's like, um, the Saturdaythat I was with my dad, and then
starts going into detail againAbout what happened with his dad
(01:02:45):
.
Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
He took advantage of it, his dad came into the house.
Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
I don't know From where, but he came inside the
house, went inside the closet,grabbed some stuff from the
closet, took a shower Downstairs, came back upstairs and DD was
waiting for him in bed.
You know he was waiting for hisdad to come home so he can,
(01:03:17):
like you know, be with his dad.
When his dad, seen that he wason the bed, started his private
parts, touched his butt and titiwas pretending like he was
asleep at the time, when he waswaiting for his dad on the bed
because he, his dad, had justgot home.
Yeah, he was pretending to gosleep.
(01:03:39):
And then he realizes that hisdad is doing this and he asks
his dad why are you touching mein my private parts?
He told me he doesn't rememberwhat his dad said, but he knew
that his dad was lying to him,mm-mm.
So when he tells me that I goto the police, again, there was
(01:04:03):
no way of me.
One is telling me that he'stouching on her and trying to
you know, physically rape her.
And then the other child istelling me the same thing and,
mind you, my daughter was not inthe same room.
He doesn't know the details.
(01:04:23):
Had to go to the police stationmake another um police report,
they end up doing ainvestigation.
They did a forensic andinterview with them.
So that means somebody that'scertified to talk to children um
, without asking them questions,is interrogating them in a room
(01:04:43):
.
So all of my three kids aregoing through this forensic
interview.
I'm getting interviewed, mysister's getting interviewed, my
husband's being interviewed.
You know I'm telling them allthe information that I know that
I can help possibly, like helpme in the situation where we can
(01:05:04):
locate him.
You know there were witnessesbecause my younger son, when it
happened to him, he told hisolder brother, which is zaya,
and his cousins about whathappened.
So we had to locate the cousins.
They pretend like they didn'tknow where you know, like that
(01:05:26):
they didn't say it.
Um, I gave them their address.
They literally told the policethat they don't, they don't know
who that person is and it wasthem.
They live in that same addressthat I gave.
The police denied it completely,saying that they didn't live
there.
So it took for them to like acouple, like probably three
(01:05:50):
weeks to do the investigation.
When they were done with theinvestigation they had found
evidence and probable cause toarrest him, but during that time
they had told me not to contacthim.
Don't call him, don't text himand he's going on my phone like
Mira coño, porque no?
Porque you know you're notanswering me.
(01:06:12):
I'm trying to hear about thekids.
He's going on my phone and I'mnot answering him and in my mind
I'm like he's going on my phonebecause he knows that he got
caught.
They already spoke up, theyalready said everything that
happened.
You know he was just blowing upmy phone not to worry about the
(01:06:34):
kids and and know what's goingon with the kids.
It was more to know if he gotcaught or to try to make you uh
take him back so when he, when Ihad uh finished all that and I
was talking to the detectivesand stuff, they end up catching
him by surprise.
They end up picking him up atthe house and and they set bail.
(01:07:08):
They posted bail for him afterI begged them when they were
doing the interview outside.
Look, he's the type that ifhe's in trouble he's gonna run
from the trouble.
You know, that's the type Igave.
I was literally with this manfor 12 years.
I would know the ins and outsof how he reacts when trouble
comes his way.
I'm like if he pulls bail, he'sgonna end up running to miami.
(01:07:29):
They arrest him, they give hima bond I think it was a hundred
thousand per case, so it's like10%.
Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
Family ends up bailing him out.
So when his family bailed himout, um, he showed up to the
first court date with the lawyer.
Um being that, it was like likeuh uh, winter break.
So during winter break, I guess, the lawyer had um set out his
(01:08:11):
vacation time so that the courtdate intervened with his
vacation time.
So he said that he wantedanother court date and the being
that the lawyer ends up passingaway on vacation.
What of a heart attack.
What a fucking story.
So when the lawyer ends uppassing away, this is from a
(01:08:34):
cost of law which is right bymaywood um courthouse.
This is like a law firm that'sbeen there for years so it was
the owner of that law firm thatthat was taking his case ends up
getting a heart attack while onvacation.
Um, so they had postponed thecourt date.
When the court date comes back,that's when we find out, um
(01:09:00):
that the lawyer that he had andthe passing away facebook post I
I start seeing all thesefacebook posts about this um
judge, uh lawyer, acosta, acosta, everywhere, just posted like
my condolences, it's his fuckinglawyer.
That's what happens.
(01:09:21):
Um, they postponed the thecourt date to another court date
.
Um, and it's somebody, it's alawyer within the same firm.
I'm like, hmm, he end upgetting another lawyer, so they
postponed it so he can get up todate with the discovery of
(01:09:41):
everything that was going on.
I'm like, okay, well, he'sgoing to until proven guilty.
You know, at the end, I knowthat my kids are not going to
make up those details, but atthe same time it's like he's
denying it.
Okay, well, prove your case,prove it, prove that you're
innocent.
¿qué pasa your case?
(01:10:08):
Prove it, prove that you'reinnocent.
The next court date comesdoesn't show up.
The second court date comes,doesn't show up, slowly but
surely.
I'm like I told you guys thisonce he posts bail and shit, his
the fucking fan, he's gonna run, and the only place that his
family tends to run to isflorida.
That's where they go to.
(01:10:33):
They go to florida.
I tell them this.
They're like, oh well, since heyou know, he missed his court
dates, all we can do is give hima national fugitive warrant and
see if he comes back toIllinois or if you have an exact
(01:10:54):
address in Florida.
We can send out paperwork toidaand see if we can extradite him
over here.
The reason why they would saythat they would extradite him
from florida over here wasbecause abuse started when he
took them on a trip to floridawhen she was seven years old.
(01:11:14):
Okay, so they do have a caselike, say, if I wanted to go to
Florida and open the case, thenit would help me to get a case
started over there and one overhere.
But the thing is that now,since I have posted that TikTok
(01:11:35):
video everywhere, some peopleare telling me that he's in
Honduras, some people aretelling me that he's in honduras
, some people are telling mehe's he's in miami.
So I really don't know.
But you know like it's kind ofhard.
You know, just sitting thereand waiting, you know, while
you're piecing your kidstogether and you're piecing
(01:11:56):
basically their whole lives andthey're grieving for people that
are not even dead.
You know, like su tío, su tía.
You know the grandparents,their father, like I'm trying to
piece them all together and toknow that I gotta sit there and
wait and twiddle my fingersuntil he either comes back and
(01:12:16):
fucks up or until, like, theyfigure out what they're gonna do
with him.
But to wait 20, 30 freakingyears for my daughter to get
justice, I I feel like thatwasn't fair for them.
I feel like they're anotherstatistic in the system where
you know, like they don't, theydon't have a say in.
(01:12:39):
Okay, well, let's go pick thisguy up and and have him pay for
the stuff, the, the damages thathe did to his children yeah, I
got you so that's why I took theinitiative to sit there and say
, okay, fuck how I feel, fuckhow I look, I don't care if you
know, because people are gonnajudge and people are gonna think
(01:12:59):
like, okay, well, where was she?
You know, in all of this, Ididn't know my kids.
They try to hide it from me.
So good, and it was to not hurtme.
You know what it is to readyour daughter's trauma narrative
and it say that she didn't wantto break my heart kids do that
(01:13:20):
that broke my heart yeah, yeah,it's funny, they didn't speak up
because they didn't want tobreak my heart.
That shit broke my heart becauseif, if I knew for one instant
that he was doing that to them,I would have fought with
everything in me to make surethat he would never even get
(01:13:42):
near them.
But to know, years after she,it started when she was seven
and she didn't tell me till shewas 11.
Wow, that's tough to swallow,man and as a mother, I'm like,
damn, he didn't give me that,that ick of being.
(01:14:05):
He never gave me that ick.
And I'm thinking, okay, well,we're co-parenting.
Yeah, it might be a bitterdivorce and you know, you're
getting mad because I don't wantto be with you.
And when I divorced him hewasn't able to get his papers,
(01:14:29):
so he was off the bat pissed offabout that.
He couldn't claim citizenshipbecause I had already got
divorced by him.
Mind you, I was his sponsor, sohe was already pissed off about
that.
I'm thinking like, okay, well,he's kind of mad because I don't
want to be with him.
But it had nothing to do withthe kids Not realizing like,
(01:14:52):
damn, I let my kids stay withthis monster and he was going to
end up hurting them.
Speaker 1 (01:14:57):
And he was disguised the whole time.
Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
The whole time I told him like I don't want to
traumatize my kids with anytrauma, because I've been
through trauma since I was young.
You know I was trying to do theright thing as a mother and say
, hey, you know, you gotsomething stable.
I'm not going to traumatizethem with my shit.
You know, let me figure it outand make sure that they're okay.
(01:15:25):
You know, and sometimes I as amother, I feel guilt of like I
put myself first, and when I putmyself first, my, my kids end
up paying for it.
My kids end up paying for it.
(01:15:49):
But at the same time it's likeI had to get out.
But you hello being able to bea mother and being able to have
my mental and get my mentalright so that way I can be there
for them that's, that's the waythat I am now.
I'm 10 toes behind my kids, likethere's no, there's nobody
coming in between my kids.
Yeah, but it took so many yearsof me being out of light of the
(01:16:15):
verbal abuse, the emotionalabuse, the mental abuse, you
know.
It took so much.
It came to a point where I feltlike I wanted to give up so bad
.
But the only, the only way thatI kept pushing in this life was
my kids, my kids, my kids.
I need my kids, my kids need me.
(01:16:45):
But to come to find out, allthis was in the hands of their
dad, the one that would alwaystell me that I'm a bad mother
because I left, because I didn'twant to come back, for him to
do that, and especially it beingyour own children, your own
blood, your own seed, that hurtsso freaking bad.
Own seed that hurts so freakingbad.
(01:17:07):
Yeah, that hurt me, thatdestroyed me.
I I took them to therapy.
I've done therapy and just toknow that the system, the way
it's worked it to sit down andwait until my daughter gets
justice.
I wasn't going to let thathappen, even though it was
embarrassing and I had to put mystory out online and see the
(01:17:29):
comments of how terrible of amother I was, and see that.
Oh well, you knew him from thejump.
Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
But there's nothing.
There's nothing embarrassingabout that.
You were blinded, you didn'tsee it, there was no way to tell
that this guy was a scumbag andyou have to let it out so
people can find this scumbagbecause he's on the run.
So there was nothing.
There's nothing embarrassingabout this, and you should never
(01:18:00):
feel embarrassed about this.
You're trying to protect yourchild the best way you can, and
that's all the mother can doright now.
Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
I just want to be a voice to people, or to women, to
not feel guilty if it'sanything related to domestic, to
think of themselves and get outbefore it gets too ugly.
Or for children to you know,even if it's the person closest
(01:18:32):
to you, speak up, for you tospeak up and not be scared about
it.
Speaker 1 (01:18:36):
Yes, I agree.
Speaker 2 (01:18:38):
To not be scared, whether it's your mother,
whether it's your father,whether it's your mother,
whether it's your father,whether it's your uncle, your
brother, your sister, whoever itis.
yeah, yeah, abuse is abuse andit's not good and the reason why
I brought it to the, to thesocial media platform, is to
help somebody else, even if it'ssomebody within his reach or
(01:19:00):
anybody that's scared to speakup.
There's a lot of children, evenmy daughter's friends.
They all have their own abusestory.
Yeah, and it's so sad becausesome of the moms don't believe
their kids.
Some of the moms don't speak up.
Some of the moms brush it underthe rug.
(01:19:22):
Some of the moms don't speak up.
Some of the moms brush it underthe rug.
Some of the moms don't call thepolice.
They don't want a spectacle inthe family, they don't want to
be ridiculed, they don't want tobe blamed.
I don't care about any of that.
A child is a child and childrenare off limits is a child and
(01:19:44):
children are off limits, andthat's why I, as much as like it
hurts me and to reliveeverything that I've had to deal
with this far, I decided that Iwanted to come on the podcast
because, at the end of the day,like I don't want to help
children that are not able tohave that backbone and speak up,
and that's what jaylani wouldwant and jaylani is all for,
(01:20:10):
even though she was scared atthe moment.
Now that she's gone throughtherapy and that she has sat
down with me and I've I've madeher secure to the point where
she wants to tell her story andshe's okay with everybody
knowing the the ugly truth, thebeautiful parts of her.
(01:20:33):
She's okay with showing what'svulnerable and and trying to
help somebody that's in need.
Speaker 1 (01:20:44):
And and trying to help somebody that's in need.
And another thing is thatyou're also helping the parents
the parents who are not able tosee this happening to their
child, and even the parents thatare kind of like I don't want
to go to the cops because I'membarrassed.
No, you need to do this, youneed to step out, you need to
(01:21:08):
take this person off the streets.
This person needs to go to jail.
So you're not only helping thekids, but you're also helping
the parents learn how to dealwith this, Because this is a
process of dealing with pain.
You know what I'm saying.
So it's good and I'm happy thatyou came to this podcast and
discussed your story.
(01:21:34):
I know, I know baby, but can youtry your speaker Speaker?
Try your speaker speaker.
Speaker 2 (01:21:47):
Try your speaker or your headset.
Speaker 1 (01:21:48):
Yeah, we're going to check on this.
How's that?
No, you still can't.
(01:22:10):
Okay, well, we're going to endthis podcast.
I want to thank you, dorisGarment, for your incredible
story Of your daughter's painand even your own pain, because
you are the mother and you hadto deal with this and go through
this, you know.
So I just want to thank youvery much for sharing your story
(01:22:30):
at the podcast and I wish youthe best with your therapy and
everything.
Okay, thank you and have a goodone.
And have a good one.
Thanks for listening to ourshow.
This concludes our episode.
And listen up to the nextepisode To follow up on what
(01:22:53):
Continuing topics and trends wehave going on, and just to
continue to listen to your boy,ny Boom, and co-host Big Daz,
and listen to our points ofviews, and maybe you can add on
to it if you want, but we'llcatch you on the next one.
All right, have a good one.
Peace out, fellas.
You are listening to the Double A Club and this is
your host, NY Boom, and myco-host, Big Daz.
We'll be talking about trendingtopics and healthcare and
basically, just as a disclaimer,just to let the listeners know
that this is just basically onour opinions and speculations
(00:24):
and I hope you guys enjoy theshow.
Let's start off and kick offwith our first topic Hello,
hello, hello.
This is the Double A Club andthis is NYC Boom bringing you
another episode, and I have anincredible woman who has a
(00:46):
phenomenal story that she needsto share with everybody.
Please introduce yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hi, my name is Dori Carmen.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Hello Dori, Carmen and Dori's Carmen.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Dori Carmen.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
And you're from Puerto Rico, right.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I'm from Chicago.
I grew up in Humboldt Park area, okay but you're Puerto Rican
descent yes yes, okay, great,great.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
So so let's start off .
I want you to start from thebeginning with your story.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Tell us how it all started well, I met a young man
through a you know housepartying, and you know I saw him
at the party.
He saw me.
We hit it off on my space,being that we, we were young,
(01:44):
you know it was, you know aplatonic, I would say kind of
encounter, like como un amorplatonico, you know we would
call each other, we wouldmessage each other and it got to
a point where, you know, wewould meet up.
Um, you know I had a strict mom.
(02:06):
My mom was didn't play that,you know, lo, nene, you stay
away from.
Um, she was very adamant aboutyou know, boys and getting
pregnant.
Um, teen pregnancy did encounterin our, in our family, so she
didn't want that to happen again.
So I met this guy, you know wewere, we were talking for a
(02:31):
while and eventually, you know Istarted lying to my mom about,
you know, meeting up with him.
That I see I can may buy.
You call a Hamida he, you knowit got to a point where we were
secretly dating.
Um, you know he told me that hewas 18 and I was 15 at the time
(02:53):
.
I was, uh, I was going from, uh, freshman year to sophomore
year and, um, I ended up gettingpregnant.
My mom found out.
She was very upset, you know,when she found out that he was
18.
It was a big deal.
No quería mandar um a la cance.
(03:13):
You know, she, she didn't, shewasn't very happy with it.
Um, you know, I try to expressto my mom, like you know, I
don't want the abortion routeand as well I didn't want him to
go to jail.
you know, Can you hear me?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, keep going.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
You can hear me.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Yes, keep going Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, I didn't want the abortion route and.
I told my mom.
You know, like I don't, I don'twant to do the abortion and
it's not fair for the baby and Idon't want to send him to jail.
You know, like there's otherways to it.
(04:07):
When I found out that I waspregnant, I went to him with the
ultrasound.
I told him hey, look, you knowyou're the only person that I've
been with.
You know I'm pregnant and wehave to figure this out because
my mom's ready to take you tojail, you know?
Um, long story short, you knowI I end up going to his parents.
I told them like, hey, you knowI'm 15.
(04:27):
I'm young, I need your son tobe in this with me.
He agreed, he agreed to bethere for my baby.
We ended up moving in together.
When we moved in together, hewas like normal, like he was
(04:48):
kind of happy.
You know, it wasn't a situationwhere you know we're like, okay
, let's have a baby.
So it was kind of like, youknow, in both ways it was like,
okay, well, we have to make thiswork because it's you know,
there's a baby on the way.
So I ended up moving in withhim and his family was just they
(05:11):
made my life hell.
So his family, they're honduranyeah so his family made it
difficult, you know, and mebeing puerto rican, they didn't
like that.
When I talked to his family,you know, he told me that he was
18.
Um, I end up getting, uh, moreinformation.
(05:35):
He he said that when we met,when we met, he said that he was
Puerto Rican and that he was 18, and end up being that he
wasn't 18 and he wasn't PuertoRican.
Um, he ended up being Honduran,he wasn't 18.
His cousin actually told methat he was 20 and I kept
(05:56):
fishing like no, you need totell me the truth.
You know, some are telling methat he was 20, some were
telling me that he was 24.
So, at this, me that he was 24.
So, at this point, I'm freakingout like I'm pregnant by
somebody that I don't know.
Um ends up being that he'shonduran, he's 21, turning 22.
(06:16):
Um, it ended up being that hehad a letter of deportation that
I didn't even know about.
Wow.
So at this point, I'm 15,scared, don't know this man,
apparently.
And now I got to worry aboutwhat the fuck is my daughter
going to do in Honduras if hewere to get deported.
(06:37):
And I'm thinking about this allwhen I'm 15.
Scared as fuck this all whenI'm 15, scared as when this
happened.
Um, you know, I talked to myfamily and I'm like I don't want
to.
You know, I don't want to getrid of this baby.
It's not the baby's fault, itwas my fault.
You know I should have listenedand I shouldn't have, you know,
(06:58):
went behind my, my mom's backand did the stuff that I did.
You know these are myconsequences.
I made my bed and I should liein it, um, within three months
of the baby being born yeah thefamily was just very hostile,
(07:20):
saying que you know Puerto Rwomen, they pin their babies on
everybody and they were justtreating me like trash, treating
me like garbage.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
So they didn't have a reason for it.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
As the months went by , you know he didn't have a
steady job.
He wasn't really.
You know he wasn't making anymoney and my family was like,
okay, well, let me give him anopportunity.
They were working in downtownchicago.
And they're like, okay, well,let's get him in a, in a good
paying job, so that way he canprovide for his you know, his
(07:54):
baby.
Um, I end up having him work atmy sister's job and that's when
everything started to change.
You know, he was getting drunk,you know, just lying, cheating,
(08:15):
and I end up breaking up withhim.
Um being the time that I brokeup with him, I moved with my mom
, um, but I was still in chulawith him, I was still in love
with him.
You know he's now, he's thefather of my child.
You know I want to make thiswork, so I would still look like
(08:38):
we would still look for eachother, um.
With that being said, you knowthat's when I end up getting
pregnant with my second son.
So we're like back and forthtogether, not together, you know
, but for the sake of the babies, you know like we wanted to try
to make it work.
I end up finding out that I'mpregnant with my second child,
(08:59):
which is a boy.
You know my first was a girland then my second child was a,
which is a boy.
You know my first was a girland then my second one was a boy
.
And you know, the moment that Itold him that I'm pregnant,
he's laughing at me.
He's like, I know, and I'm like, what do you mean?
You know he's like, yeah, Ipurposely got you pregnant.
I'm like, well, that's not,that's not something to be.
(09:22):
You know, like it's not funny.
He wasn't being funny, whatever.
So now I'm stuck with twobabies.
You know it's kind of rocky.
I'm trying to make it work.
I was 17 when I got pregnantwith my son, so I was in senior,
senior year, when I was Toobaby already.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And you haven't graduated yet Two babies already
, and you haven't graduated highschool.
So yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
So I was, you know, with the second one, and I was
battling school.
My mom was like, no, you're notthe way you die.
You know this is your secondone, to not bring this to the la
primera.
And I'm like, but I love thisman, you know, like, I love him
with all my heart and you know,like, he said he wanted to be
with me and I'm over heretrusting him, like, okay, well,
(10:17):
I had the first one, I had thesecond one.
Now it's like it's now or never.
You know, like he, like he, hasto assume his responsibilities.
Okay, well, you know, Ipurposely got you in pregnant.
Okay, well, you purposely gotme pregnant.
Now you have to, now you haveto make it work, not forcing it,
(10:39):
but it was like, it was like aninfatuation.
He didn't want to be with me,but he didn't want me to be with
anyone.
(11:00):
This letter of deportation,like you know, I, I'm, I'm on my
second trial and we can't keepdoing this.
You know like you need to fixsomething, because I have no
parts in Honduras, I don't haveno family over there and I'm not
gonna travel over there if theywere to deport you.
I'm pregnant with my baby.
(11:21):
I was probably six months withmy boy and I end up getting
married with him.
Mind you, I went behind myparents back.
I went behind my family's back.
The only people that were at mymarriage in City Hall were his
family.
Get passed out when everybodyfound out.
(11:42):
Oh, they were so freaking mad.
They were so mad.
I mean, not even Katie habla.
I bet they were so freaking mad.
They were so mad.
I mean nadie me quería hablar.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I bet.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
They were so disappointed at that point
because they're like Chacho, note quería ayudar con la primera,
bajis y te embarazas con elsegundo.
You know, like something has togive, or at least keep the
family in loop.
So because I got married withhim and it was more like sole
(12:08):
purpose of fixing his letter ofdeportation, get by some.
Here we get married, he gets acut that I've been done from.
We could hear he ends upgetting his daca because he was
here from uh, since he was eightyears old.
So he fled from hondurasbecause there were there were
(12:32):
literally there.
Um so they up, they uprootedfrom honduras and they came over
here.
Um so from then they had foundhim in mccallan, texas, so
that's where he got thedeportation from um so they end
(12:54):
up giving him the, daca they endup giving him a working permit
um a social.
So from there I I'm like okay,well, I'm going to help you, so
that way you can help us in afamily sense.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
The cheating, the lying, you know.
It got to a point where he wasworking two jobs, couldn't make
ends meet.
I find out that he has acocaine addiction.
Rant comes no hay dinero.
Things are missing.
(13:32):
I have to move back into mymom's house.
I'm ping ponging.
You know like the two babiestrying to figure out life.
I end up graduating from highschool um at my mom's house.
So I was like ping-ponging, youknow I, I didn't know what to
(13:53):
do with my life, you know I, Ijust.
But I was still in love withhim, or the illusion of what a
family could feel.
Once I graduated high school,you know, I wanted my kids to
(14:17):
feel what it feels like to havetwo parents in the household.
Even though the the cheating,even though the drug addiction,
I still wanted my kids to havetheir father and their mother
together and teach them like, nomatter what, mommy and poppy
fought together to make ithappen for you guys to make a
(14:41):
family um.
Again the cheating, again thedrugs, again, pero el one a gaba
.
But I knew it because, you know, growing up and in an
environment where there wasdrugs all the time, I already
know los o.
(15:03):
You know como se comportabasiempre se estaba jodiendo con
la nariz.
You know I would always see thesigns.
But in my mind I'm like, no, ifhe says no, it's no.
Okay, I won't keep fighting it,you know, for the sake of the
kids.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Once I had enough.
I seen you know his laptop andhis phone.
You know him messaging.
He was cheating on me withco-workers.
He end up, you know, likeadmitting to it that he was
cheating and I'm like, no, I'm,I'm like done, like you know
(15:42):
tanta mierda que tú me has hechopasar por tantos años.
And I just I can't do it.
So I moved back for my mom Yestaba buscando un apartamento.
Cuando estaba buscando unapartamento, I ended up finding
one and I moved out.
You know, I was like I'm done,you can co-parent with me.
(16:05):
You know, to see home.
When I said to see home, I'mgoing to still be their mom, you
know, go just co-parent.
When I left his house, I didn'tknow that I was pregnant.
Oh, for the third time threefor the third time.
(16:29):
Three, oh, for the third time.
And when I went to go tell him,um, the reason why I found out
that I was pregnant the thirdtime was because I was in a car
accident, you know, and in thehospital they're like, oh, you
have whiplash andcongratulations, you're pregnant
.
I'm devastated because I'mtrying to get away from this man
.
You know, like, like all thelying, cheating hurt.
I'm like, you know, somethinghas to give.
So I ended up finding out thatI'm pregnant with my third child
(16:55):
, que pasa.
I go to him and I'm like, hey,you know, you've literally been
the only man that I've been with.
You know, like, I'm pregnantagain.
He's like, oh, that's not mychild, that's not my son.
Figure out who's, you know babyis that?
And I'm like I just literallyleft your house.
We were living together.
(17:15):
Like, what do you mean?
Find the other, you know,father of the child.
I, I leave that house, you know.
I tell him I'm pregnant.
He didn't want nothing to dowith it.
That's where everything started.
So he has the pattern of whenI'm pregnant, she don't want to
(17:35):
be with me, he don't want todeal with the pregnancy, he
don't want to.
You know, go to theappointments, nada de.
So he just don't want any parts.
Now, when I had my son, when Ifinally had him and he seen that
he looked exactly like him,he's like okay, I want to be
back with you.
(17:55):
I want to, you know, makethings work.
So it was a pattern of quecuando ya tenia a little baby,
when I had the babies, he wantedto be with me.
But when I was pregnant, youknow, I was fucking with other
(18:18):
girls and having fun, goingclubbing, buying girls, drinks.
So when I had my son, he's likeno, come on, let's make this
work.
He's like I'm so sorry it didn'twork out like that family
telling me all all the stuffthat he was doing.
You know I'm I'm doing hislaundry.
I find a cocaine in a bag.
That was my confirmation.
(18:39):
You know he used to always denyit and I'm like, hmm, like some
something told me and and therewas a hint, you know, but that
was just a confirmation of hehas a problem.
He has a real big problem.
You know his family's on myback because we moved in with
his family, peleando, peleando.
(19:09):
You know the cheating him, himlying to me, llegaba borracho,
and you know it got to a pointwhere I'm like I can't do this
no more.
It was times where you know wewould get into a fistfight.
You know le pegaba a mi hijo,or you know like it was more of
the.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
So he would hit you like a common hombre.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
You know, I see a no no conmigo.
Si tu quieres darle a alguien,pégame a mi.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Oh, so you volunteer.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
And we used to fist fight.
We used to fist fight and youknow, con el chiquito it got to
a point where I'm like this is apattern.
And I got to the point where yome quería matar, yo no quería
vivir Y no era por mis hijos,era por el tratamiento like man.
(20:13):
I love this man and he'shurting me.
I gave you life, I gave youthree lives, and you treated me
like garbage, peleando con lafamilia, peleando con él.
So I'm like, okay, well, thelast one.
You know he tried to hit my sonlike a man.
(20:34):
So I hit his ass back.
I'm like, no, you're not goingto hit my son like that.
¿qué pasó?
He body slammed me on top of mybaby El chiquito.
He body slammed me on top of mybaby El Chiquito.
He body slammed me on top ofhim.
I had enough.
I had enough.
I grabbed my stuff.
I had already bags packed in mytrunk.
(20:55):
I grabbed my kids.
My kids didn't even have shoesthat day.
I packed up their stuff and I'mlike, no, ya, basta.
You know he could.
He was amazing father.
He never gave me an ache of,you know, being a terrible
father.
He was.
He was a loving father.
Pero cuando se le, when he wason drugs, and he would deny it.
(21:18):
When he was on drugs he wasmore of the aggressive Era, bien
agresivo.
He was more of the aggressiveera, bien agresivo.
He never gave me that inch oflike that.
He was a bad father.
He just had problems, just likeand you know, like, any other
parent I found out about.
(21:39):
You know, like he was trying tohit my son and he body slammed
me and I grabbed my stuff, Iwent to the police station, made
a police report, um, and I toldhim I didn't want to be with
him.
But I told him why I didn'twant to be with him.
It was, it was messing up withmy mental all these years.
Like I felt, like you know, I Igave up my life, my hopes, my
(22:00):
dreams to make a family and hewas just playing in my face the
whole time.
So when that happened, I wentto you know, I told him I wanted
a divorce, I didn't want to bewith him anymore.
And when that happened, youknow, he was just like he just
(22:23):
didn't care.
He, he was just like he justdidn't care.
He partied more, drinking more,you know.
But I didn't take that intoconsideration of it was because
of the kids, it was because ofme and him.
When I decided that I wanted toget the divorce, I told my mom I
, I'm like Mira, mommy, likeyou're looking for a place to
(22:45):
move into, I'm looking for aplace to move into.
I need out for the sake of thekids so I can be okay.
You know, like I, how can I beokay and, you know, be there for
my kids if I'm not okay?
So I end up moving out.
And I told my mom, like mom,like mommy, I need, I, I need to
(23:06):
get this divorce.
Why don't we move in togetherso that way, you know, I can get
that type of closure where Ican pay for this divorce, get
away from him and still be ableto make it as a single mom.
You know, I didn't have a lotof means.
I was working at the timefiddle.
It was gonna be hard, you know,because I he had his family
(23:30):
helping support my kids and nowI wasn't gonna have that anymore
.
So, okay, um, we move into anapartment and within two weeks
she dies.
Who, my mom?
I'm sorry so when my mom uh, shepasses away, she passes away in
(23:54):
my apartment and I end upfinding her.
My kids are in the other roomand they don't know that their
grandma had passed away.
And i'm'm calling him, like,hey, my mom is dead in the other
room.
Can you help me pick them up?
Help me do something.
The whole time he's like, oh,that's none of my problem.
(24:16):
I'm like, look, help me.
My kids can't see this.
My mom ended up passing away inmy daughter's arms and she
didn't know about it.
And I'm just screaming on thephone like, come, get them.
You know like, you're theirfather, regardless if we're
together or not, like we got aco-parent.
(24:42):
It was a big fight and I'm likeI already know how this is gonna
turn out.
He's just mad because I don'twant to be with him.
He's gonna make my life hell.
Come the funeral fighting withme.
I'm like, look, I'm not in amental space for you to be
fighting with me.
You know like, just help mewith the babies until I get my
(25:02):
mental right.
Come the funeral, igual igual,fighting with me.
His mom is there.
Mind you, I don't have a goodrelationship with his mom.
I literally had to fight herbecause you know she was
overstepping her, her boundarieswhen it came to how I was
parenting.
She would say you like that shewished that I was dead so that
(25:27):
way she can have my kids.
That was the type ofrelationship that I had to do
with his side of the family.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
They don't sound like good people.
They don't sound like goodpeople.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah, I know, yeah, I know, I know I'll keep going,
keep going, keep going.
So when that happened about,you know, like, when I was
telling him about, you know, mymom and he was at the funeral,
and you know, when it came tohim helping me with the kids, I
was not in the right state ofmind.
You know how do you cope with.
You're going through a divorce,you found your mom dead, your
(26:30):
kids are literally experiencinggrief and you don't know how to,
like, I couldn't function.
I couldn't function as a, as amom, as a daughter, as as a
person.
I just couldn't function.
You know, like, and I'm tellinghim, como madre, I'm like, I
(26:52):
can't be there for my kids if Ican't be there for myself.
I lost the only person thatevery time shit hit the fan, I
would run to her.
Whenever, I would get in afistfight with him.
Whenever, you know, my kidswere hungry and he didn't have
the money to feed them.
I didn't have the money to feedthem.
I would always run to her.
So that safe place, that safehaven.
(27:13):
I didn't have the money to feedthem.
I would always run to her.
So that safe place, that safehaven.
I didn't have her anymore.
And that was the mostdevastating thing, because I'm
like, I'm trying to, I'm tryingto face the biggest battle in my
life, and that's him.
Put my, my love, my, my, mydreams of having a family on
(27:35):
hold and try to get away fromthis guy, because all I know is
that's.
That's how we got to that point.
It got to a point where I justcouldn't, and then to know that
I don't have that person thatwould always pick me up when I
fell on my face that sucks.
(27:55):
That it was devastating.
I told him I was like look, youknow, I lost my mom.
I'm not in a mental space.
Can you keep them for a coupleweeks while I do therapy?
Or, you know, like, try to getmyself together.
Lost my job.
I couldn't function.
(28:17):
I lost my job.
I was just not in a good space.
I had bills piling up, rent wasdue.
I was on the verge of beinghomeless.
With that being said, ellostienen su padre, ellos tienen su
(28:38):
padre.
Me and him might have not had agood relationship, or we would
have ended up in bad terms, buthe was still their father.
You know, he would claim thathe was father of the year.
Father of the year, mi nene,nene, me, nene, me, nene.
Okay, well, this is your timeto step up.
You know, like I can't do itright now and you as a father,
(29:00):
if I can't do it then you'regonna have to do it.
So, at the time, he was livingwith his parents, so his parents
had their um, my kids had theirown room at their parents house
, you know, at his parents house.
Well, their grandparents andI'm like what you know, let me
sit down and talk to thegrandparents and let's get to,
you know, a common ground whereyou know we can all co-parent
(29:25):
and make sure that what'sbeneficial to the kids.
What do I?
I sat down the the grandparentsand I talked to them and I told
them hey, you know, I'm goingthrough a situation where I'm
home, I'm basically going to behomeless and you know, my kids
have a stable place here withthe kids.
(29:52):
Until I get on my feet, you knowit's going to take a couple
weeks or, you know, at least amonth or two, you know, to get
back on my feet.
I need this help.
Like you guys were saying thatyou guys want to be involved and
you know, to let you guys bewith the kids.
Okay, well, this is a time thatI need, you know, what's best
for my kids and right now,mentally, I wasn't okay.
(30:14):
I don't have anything stable atthe moment and as a mom, you
want, you know, to have your kid, your kids, be stable and have
a perfect environment for themso they can thrive, you know
when they're growing up.
So I thought that that wasgoing to be the best plan for
(30:34):
them, being that thegrandparents have their own
house.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
The grandparents.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Nobody can uproot them unless they don't do what
they have to do.
Yeah, I understand, but Ithought, okay, well, they have
their own house, my have theirown room.
Let them stay there until I geton my feet, get bus.
Um, I had an agreement with himwhere, um, I found a job.
(31:07):
I had an agreement with him andI was telling him, like, on the
weekends, when I'm off, likeyou know, I'll go visit them.
Um, I didn't want to deal withthat family, no more.
So it was more of the I wasgoing to see them on the weekend
until I got my stuff together,um, but it became where he would
(31:29):
ask me for sex in order for meto see them.
And I was just hurting myself,you know, like, I know that I
didn't want to deal with him.
I know that I didn't want to,you know, have to deal with that
anymore, but at the same time,it was like I had to do what I
had to do so I can be able tosee my kids.
(31:50):
He wouldn't let me see them.
It was, uh, que tus hijos no tequieren ver, um, tú no haces
nada por tus hijos.
So that mother guilt.
You know, like I was just doingwhat I had to do in order for
me to see them.
And he was holding my kids youknow, my kids over my head and
(32:12):
I'm'm like but I just want tosee my babies.
You know, like, no matter what,I'm still their mom and I'm
still not gonna give up on them.
We're fighting.
We're fighting.
Um, it got to a point where hewas threatening to take my kids
away.
Um, I end up dating somebody andwhen I was dating that person,
(32:36):
uh, he was kind of jealous, hewas kind of mad, and I'm like
you know, you had your familyand you didn't want that family.
Um, you know, like it got to apoint where he was forcing me to
have sex and because I didn'twant to do that anymore, I ended
up finding a guy that I wasdating and it probably, if he
(32:59):
knew that I was saying that guy,he wouldn't ask me anymore.
You know, it got to a pointwhere I paid for the divorce.
He's like if you want a divorce, you pay for it.
And I'm like, I'm like, okay,fine, I'll pay for it.
And I did.
I paid for it, but it stilldidn't stop him.
(33:22):
Um, it was.
It got to the point where I hadto be honest with the guy that
I was dating and I'm like, look,he's making me do things that I
don't want to do and I'mcomplying because, as a mother,
I'm going to do what I have todo in order for me to see my
kids.
That turned into a domestic.
I ended up getting away fromthe dude.
(33:45):
I pressed charges andeverything and got away from
that.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
He's over here laughing in my face like, oh,
this is what you get this is thenew boyfriend yeah, that was my
new boyfriend at the time hebeat you up yeah, he beat me up
to the point where because myface was unrecognizable because
(34:15):
of this, because of when hefound out that I was sleeping
still with my with my ex-husbanddamn
Speaker 2 (34:23):
just to be able to see my kids.
Yeah, I got away from that andhe was still like holding it
over my head because I didn'twant to sleep with him.
So I'm getting my ass beat.
I lost my mom.
He's holding the kids over myhead and forcing me to do shit
that I didn't want to do.
I end up trying to committingsuicide because I try to commit
(34:48):
suicide.
He went to the court and he gottemporary custody of my kids
roll back for a second roll backnow.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
When you attempted suicide.
When you attempted suicide, howdid you do it?
What?
Speaker 2 (35:06):
I grabbed the knife and I try to cut my veins into
different parts of my arm.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
You really went through it.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I had blood out for a whole day Like I was
hallucinating.
I wasn't in my right mind.
You know I'm bleeding out.
All I remember is texting himtelling him to tell my babies
(35:41):
that I love them, and nobodyunderstood why.
I said that he texted my sisterand my sister knew where I was
at and she called the police.
She called the ambulance.
She called everybody cameknocking in my door.
(36:02):
I ended up going to the hospitaland my family's, like you know
they, found out why I tried tokill myself.
You know, because he wasforcing me to have sex with him
just to see my kids.
He wasn't allowing me to see mykids, it was just really
abusive.
And he's's like no, she's lying, she's lying.
And they're asking him like doyou not care?
You know, like do you not careabout?
She just tried to kill herselfbecause you're making her do
(36:25):
shit.
So at that point he acted likehe was caring, you know, about
the situation.
And he's like I'll tell her tostop, I won't do that, no more.
And with that being said, hewent to the court and used that
I committed to, like tried tocommit suicide, that I wasn't in
(36:47):
my right state of mind and thatI abandoned my kids, so they
granted him temporary custody,but, being that I didn't tell
him where I was living, I wasnever served.
Um, fast forwarding to.
I got out of the hospital, Igot, got straight to work.
(37:09):
You know I I went to work,found a job, went to work, try
to get my together, um, myliving situation together.
I wasn't living with the guythat was beating me up anymore,
um, but I was still trying tosee my kids.
Yeah, he wasn't letting me seemy kids.
Um, it ended up being, likeprobably a couple months after
(37:44):
that he started calling me likeDCFS is getting involved because
the kids are acting up inschool.
And I'm like trying to figureout, like, what's going on.
Like, why is DCFS trying to getinvolved?
My son was hitting the teachers.
He was making them bleed.
My daughter was always sayingthat she didn't want to go to
school.
So at this point they'recalling him and he's not
answering, or they'll tell himto come pick up the kids and he
(38:06):
wouldn't pick them up.
So they're calling me like, hey, I don't know what's going on
between both of you guys.
You guys need to like getinvolved.
You need to get involved.
Dcfs was contacted and he'slike hey, I don't know what's
going on with these kids.
These kids are acting up.
Dcfs is getting involved.
(38:29):
I think it's time for you totake them.
I'm thinking like OK, like okay, well, probably they're acting
up because they want to be withtheir mom.
You know, that's a bigtransition from not being with
their mom and having theirfather and their whole, his side
of the family, telling themmommy, not they kidding mommy,
you know.
(38:49):
So that was a big transitionfrom seeing me every day to not
seeing me at all.
Dcfs got involved.
He ended up giving me the kids.
I'm like, okay, well, you know,shit's getting weird.
So I tried to transfer them outof school.
I tried to transfer them out ofschool.
(39:10):
They're like, no, you can'ttransfer them out of school.
They're like, no, you can'ttransfer them out of school.
I'm like what do you mean?
They're like, well, you don'thave any rights to them.
And I'm like what do you mean?
Yeah, there's a.
You lost custody of them andyou don't have any rights to
them.
You can't transfer them out.
You have to ask their fatherfor permission.
(39:30):
And I'm like, well, I didn'tget served, I didn't know
anything.
She ends up going to the schooland telling them, yeah, they're
gonna transfer, you knowthey're gonna go stay with their
mom now and, um, mind you, Istill didn't know about this, uh
(39:54):
, the temporary custody.
I was never served, um beingthat because I didn't give him
my address and he was mad that Ididn't want to give him my
address because he was toxic.
Um, because I didn't have thoserights.
(40:15):
I went to the library.
I typed up on a paper, you know, stating that he needs to give
me back my, the medical rights,the school rights, um, any type
of rights that I need to make anexecutive decision for my
children when it's needed,decision for my children when
(40:38):
it's needed.
For him to oblige, you know,like to give me the okay.
I went to the library, typed upthat paper and we were gonna
get it in order eyes where hewould have to sign and I would
have to sign it, and that wouldgive me, um, at least a leeway
for me to have some type ofrights back without him fighting
like saying that I don't haveany rights.
It's on paper.
(41:00):
That day I typed that paper down, I called him.
I was like, hey, you know, Igot to get these kids into
school ASAP.
You know, they're missing outon learning.
They're missing, missing out onschool.
We need to get the ball rolling, um, I showed him the paper to
sign.
We're at the currency exchangeat that point and he doesn't
(41:22):
know anything of what I typedout.
I'm like I'm reading it to him,you know, making sure that he
understands what I I typed.
Come on, no pendejo, no sabíana.
He just signed the paper.
I'm like okay, it goes in myfavor.
You know, now it's time toshine.
After everything that he made mego through not being able to
(41:44):
see my kids, making me do thingsthat I didn't want to do,
making sure that the kids knewthat yo los abandoné, que yo no
los quería this is my time toshine now.
I got my kids and now, now I'mgonna put up a fight.
You know, I had to play mycards right, get pasta.
When I went to um to transferthem in, I had that paper it was
(42:07):
.
It was a green light.
Now we had an agreement of hewould see them on the weekends
and I would keep them during theweekdays.
Now it comes the weekend, me,huh, she's.
No, I don't want to go, mom, Idon't want to go, tears in her
(42:28):
eyes and I will tell him, like,hey, you know, do we have a?
A?
No, kidding latukasa.
And he like, what a?
I know, say Manda, a I knowsome on that she don't have.
She can't tell anybody what todo if she, she has to come to my
house, and I'm like, well, shekind of has a you know an option
(42:51):
with me.
She has an option if shedoesn't want to go.
I'm not going to force her, butremember, I had those rights
and, mind you, I had that paper,the notarized paper.
But you know, in the, in thepolice eyes, he has this paper
(43:13):
with the judge, you know thestamp of the judge, like they're
going to listen to him.
What happened?
Every time he would want topick up the kids and the kids
didn't want to go, he would senda sheriff to my house.
I'm like, well, mommy, papi,I'm sorry, guys, you know, but I
can't really do anything.
You know he's, he's playing thepolice cars, you know, always
(43:42):
bringing sheriffs to my house.
And I, there's no way that Ican fight your dad.
There's no way, you know, I hesays that he wants you guys to
go Spend time with him.
Then by all means, like, um, Ican't fight him on that.
(44:04):
Um, my daughter was really likeshe started changing.
Um, she wanted to dress up likeloose shirt, loose pants.
You know everybody was givingher shit about.
Okay, yes, I, I get it out on amuddy matcha.
You know, like, dress up like atomboy, like a stud, and I'm
like, well, if she's trying tolearn who she is, they halla,
leave her alone, let her be.
You know she's trying to learnwho she is and try to express
(44:27):
yourself.
So in my Instinct it was KF.
I'll come yendo like a normalteenager.
She's a preteen going to herface, like you know, she's kind
of acting distant.
So in her mind, everything thather dad was telling her and her
grandma was telling her, shewas believing that I abandoned
(44:48):
them, that I didn't love them.
So she pushed me away and ittook me like a long time for me
to gain that trust back with her.
Pero que ya no quería con supadre, que ya no quería.
Um.
So it's lani, zaya and titithose are their names.
Lani no quería ir, zaya noquería.
(45:11):
Pero titi, si el chiquitoquería ir zaya no quería.
Pero titi, si el chiquito andI'm like, well, don't kidding,
he's like no mandalo los tresque yo no se mandan, que yo no
se mandan um.
And they got to a point where,okay, they were going on the
(45:31):
weekends, you know they weregoing to their dad's house, but
in reality they were going totheir grandparents house, that's
where he lived.
Um, eventually they started,you know, going on the weekends
and it got to a point where mydaughter was learning how to be
on tiktok and you know it waskind of a parenting where she
(45:55):
was trying to be kind ofprovocative and I didn't know
the reason why.
But I'll be like Lonnie, youknow how many pedophiles are on
TikTok or you know, like on theinternet in in general.
Yeah, I'm like you need towatch what you post, what kind
of dances you do, the assshaking can you can do that.
(46:16):
You know, I'm giving her these,these guidelines on what I
expect from her as my child, youknow, because I have rules, um.
So she posted a video and he'slike, oh okay, I get it.
I thought, come on a puta.
He's like she wants to act likea prostitute online.
(46:39):
So he's like very adamant abouther, you know posting on
tick-tock.
So I'm like, okay, well, asparents, we're gonna talk to
each other and I'm like betterto know live, I vas a llamar una
puta a mi hija.
That was like a kind of like ared flag.
Mind you, when he was with them, ellos me salian con piojo.
(47:02):
When I would see them on theweekend, I'm constantly cleaning
out their piojos out of theirhead.
No tenian ropa, no tenianzapato, you know.
So that time that I would takeout on the weekends to be with
them, it was to clean their hairout, make sure that they had no
clothes, make sure that theyhad no shoes.
(47:22):
But when I got them fully,también me salían con puto piojo
.
And I'm like, well, where's the, where's the root cause of the
piojo?
Um, he didn't know.
With the whole tiktok we weretalking about, you know, like
(47:44):
certain things that she wasposting, she had an issue with
that when it came to it was alot of things that were going on
back to back with the wholeclothing.
So now she's getting boy crazy.
When she got boy crazy, look,mommy, like there's certain
(48:15):
things that you can do and can'tdo.
You know, take me for anexample.
You know like I was lying to mymom and that lie turned into me
being a teen mom and you know Idon't want you to go through
that.
It was really hard.
I make it look easy, but it'sreally hard.
So there's this little boy thatwas like taking an interest in
her.
So there's this little boy thatwas like taking an interest in
her and she was like, oh, I likehim but I can't be with him.
(48:37):
You know, like it can't happen.
So he had a tablet that wasconnected to her phone, so he
was looking at the messages thatthey were sending each other,
because the tablet was was athis house and the phone was at
my house.
So he's like calling me, likeanswer the phone, beat her ass,
(49:00):
beat her ass.
And I'm like I'm not gonna beather ass, I'm gonna talk to my
child, because that's what youdo.
You talk with your words, youdon't talk with your hands.
You know, like why would I beather ass over a little boy?
Ella inocente, ella no sabenada um about boys.
You know, like she's justlearning what, what it is to
have a crush on a boy, and likea boy that beat her ass, beat
(49:22):
her ass, like he's literallylike trying to instruct me on to
beat her ass.
And I'm like, no, that I'm notgonna do that.
And I'm telling my daughterlike you see, lonnie, like
there's certain conversationsthat I'm having with you and you
keep, you know, talking tothese boys and look at your
dad's on the phone telling me towhoop your ass.
And I don't want to whoop yourass.
(49:43):
I'm trying to have aconversation with you about
these boys.
She starts sobbing and I'm likewhat's going on?
Why are you crying?
And I'm like what's going on?
(50:16):
Why are you crying?
I didn't even hit you.
I'm trying to talk to you.
She's like no, and there'speople around or you know, I
can't talk out or look atanything inappropriate.
If you want to take me to thebathroom, or you want to pull me
to the side, or you want totake me anywhere, by all means
feel free to tell me.
Hey, mom, that's our code word.
Let's go to the bathroom gotchaso once she tells me that let's
(50:38):
go to the bathroom, my heartdrops.
Hang up the phone with him.
I didn't give a what he wassaying about you know, he was
just.
He was acting weird and I'mlike better, you know, cosa de
nene.
You know, puppy love, whateverthe fuck.
It is Like eso, cosa de nene.
It had nothing to do with why Iwould beat my child.
She's like we go to thebathroom and she's like mom,
(51:04):
remember all those times thatyou told me that if something or
somebody did something veryinappropriate, to take you to
the bathroom.
And I'm like, yeah, I remember.
Um, you know like I always tellyou guys, if something happens,
you need to let me know and notbe scared.
She said, well, my dad has beendoing inappropriate things to
(51:27):
me.
Fuck, my heart broke and I waslike no, wait, here, I had my
husband at the time and mysister in La Casa.
She was going to a domestic.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
You're married now.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
I'm married again, yeah.
I'm married again, you know, hewas with me through the whole
battle of trying to get themback.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
And this is not a domestic thing, like this wasn't
a bad relation.
No domestic violence, nothing.
He ain't hit you.
No, no, no, okay, good, no,he's.
He's been supporting.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
Este es un corazón de oro.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
So keep on.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
He, when he met me my husband, right now my current
husband he met me when I wasgetting beat up by the dude.
So when I was getting beat upby the dude, he helped me pack
up my car and get away from thedude.
(52:29):
He said, no, you, you deservebetter and this is not a life
that you need to live.
And he helped me pack up mystuff.
He didn't, he wasn't perverted,he wasn't looking for anything
other than me getting out ofthat situation.
Never thought of like, okay,we're going to date, we're not
(52:52):
we're're, you know, messingaround or anything like that.
He was.
He was just okay, we're gonnaget you out of this situation
and you need to focus on yourkids.
Um, fast forwarding.
You know he was helping me getmy kids financially.
He was helping me get theirbeds to make sure that they had
(53:13):
their school supplies, theirshoes, a roof over the head, cuz
you know I'm like fuck.
Like you know, they had a houseover there with their
grandparents.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
I feel like the least that.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
I should do is make sure that they have their house.
You know, when they come overhere, mommy's gonna make sure
that you guys got your own room,make sure that you guys got
your own space.
I owe that to you guys, youknow.
So you know I end up dating himfor a while.
My kids didn't meet him tilllike after a year.
(53:46):
So you know it was.
We did the proper steps inorder for me to be secure that,
okay, this is the man that I'mgoing to be with and I'm going
to introduce my kids to.
He helped me fight when I sayhe helped me fight, get my kids
back and get my mental back tobe able to be strong enough to
(54:07):
help me fight my kids he madesure of every single thing was
taken care of.
So when that moment that she wasin the bathroom and she told me
mommy, poppy has been doinginappropriate stuff to me, I
stopped her in her tracks.
You I mean for you to be a momand you hear poppy poppy's doing
(54:34):
something to you I stopped.
I told her to stop saying stopin her tracks.
I want to go get my sister thatwas in the Sala and my husband
that was in the Sala.
You know, my sister has alwaysbeen through everything with me.
She's like cheeky, likewherever I go she goes.
So I'm like Melina and I toldyou know, my husband's Mikey.
(55:00):
I was like Melina and Mikey,can you please come with me to
the bathroom?
You will not believe I didn'teven have words.
I was like, can you just cometo the bathroom?
And they're like well, what'sgoing on?
And I'm like Jelani, go aheadand say what you got to say.
She started saying how, when shewas seven years old mind you,
(55:26):
this is around the time that mymom had passed away and I I gave
the kids to him que cuando shewas seven years old, he started
touching on her, que le tocabalos senos, que le tocaba el
trasero, her private parts, quele estaba haciendo watch porno.
(55:46):
That he would put theheadphones on her so nobody else
would hear when she wassleeping in her own room.
He would pick her up and takeher to his room.
She was describing his penis.
She was describing his penis.
She was describing how to come.
Look, um, in four, fourdifferent occasions he tried to
(56:10):
penetrate her, but she waspushing him off.
Um, it was a lot of details, tothe point where I'm like
there's no way a child is gonnamake this shit up.
There's no way a child is goingto make this shit up.
No, there's no way.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
There's no fucking way.
No fucking way.
That's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (56:30):
To the detail, to the tea?
No, no way.
One day she had came from herdad's house and, mind you, this
is before I even had the papersFor the rights, before I had the
papers for the rights, before Igot the papers for the rights
for him to sign off the rights.
And I'm freaking the fuck out.
(56:55):
I'm like Lani, I burned myselfwith a flat iron.
I'm like that's a bullshit asslie.
Don't fucking come to me andtell me that it's a flat iron
burn.
I'm like I've burned myself foryears with a flat iron and not
once has it looked like that.
(57:17):
I call him.
What's going on over there?
Do you want me to call DCFS andthe police?
Like what's what the fuck isgoing on over there?
Do you want me to call dcfs andthe police?
Like what's what the fuck isgoing on in that house?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm like she came home with ahickey.
Well, I don't know what's goingon and I'm like but you, she
just came from your house.
I was trying to play my cards,right, and I couldn't sit there
(57:46):
and go to the police and callDCFS because I didn't have
enough evidence.
It was my word against his.
I'm going to look like the badone, because he already coerced
her to saying that it was a flatiron.
(58:06):
So when she's opening up andtelling me that he's doing all
these things to her, I'm likefiddle.
Was he drunk?
Was he on drugs?
Like he smelled like liquor.
I'm like fiddle.
You know I'm occasional drinker, I'm not gonna lie.
(58:30):
That wouldn't in my mind thinklike, okay, well, I'm gonna get
drunk and I'm gonna touch on mychild.
There's no amount of liquor orno amount of drug or no amount
of any type of thing that wouldpossess me in my mind to think
that, hey, I'm gonna come homeand touch my child.
Yeah, you're right.
(58:51):
Um, she was saying that.
You know, the next day he wouldsay that he's sorry, that he
was confusing her with the woman.
But, mind you, every time thathe would look at her, he would
always tell me that I remind,that she reminds him of me.
(59:15):
So, with that being said, hewould always tell her the next
day that he was sorry.
That to please not tell anybodyand he would always.
So imagine a child that wantsto be with her mother and is
(59:41):
going through all this traumacan't tell her mother because
she's scared to lose her mother.
Speaker 1 (59:47):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
As soon as she told me that and I brought my husband
and I brought my sister in thesame room to listen to the he
that she was saying, that he wasmaking her do one, because I
didn't want them to make it seemlike I was the one that was
forcing her to say that numbertwo.
I needed witnesses, yeah I hadto play my cards right, yeah,
(01:00:14):
you did go to the police station.
I I made the report.
So when I made the report, thenext day I had to go to the
school and I had to tell themhey, um, you see this man, don't
let him come in, do not let himtake my kids out of this, you
(01:00:36):
know, out of class.
Do not let him leave with mykids off school property, do not
, do not make that mistake.
Um, so I go to this.
You know, when I go to theschool, the counselor's like
well, you have to, you know,make sure that you tell your
your boys, um, give them areason as to why they can't see
(01:00:59):
their father.
You just can't tell them, hey,you can't see your father, and
not give them a reason.
That's going to make them oneact out in school and they're
not in the loop.
You have to make sure that youkeep them in the loop.
Solo siento yo to the boys.
You know I have a stepdaughter.
You know my husband has adaughter from a previous
(01:01:20):
relationship and I'm helping himraise her too.
So when I had to sit down andtell the boys, hey, you know,
like you can't see your father,I had to legit give them a
reason why.
But I wasn't gonna go into fulldetail.
So I sat the boys down, zayaand titi and my stepdaughter,
(01:01:41):
because she had to know as wellthat it's not okay.
If you don't like, it's notokay.
You know, if you're beingtouched in an inappropriate way,
you need to let somebody know,you need to speak up.
So I sat down my boys and Itold them like you know, you
can't see your dad until furthernotice and, um, it has to do
(01:02:03):
with something with Lonnie andit was very inappropriate.
I didn't go into detail, I,that's all I just said everybody
knew el chiquito.
He raises his hand and he's like, um, mom.
And I'm like, yeah, what's up?
Usually know he's the type he'sgoofy, he doesn't, he's not
(01:02:23):
serious when it comes toanything.
So I'm like thinking to myselfokay, titi's gonna make a joke
right now, the wrong time ever.
So he raises his hand and I'mlike, titi, what's up?
He's like, um, the Saturdaythat I was with my dad, and then
starts going into detail againAbout what happened with his dad
(01:02:45):
.
Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
He took advantage of it, his dad came into the house.
Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
I don't know From where, but he came inside the
house, went inside the closet,grabbed some stuff from the
closet, took a shower Downstairs, came back upstairs and DD was
waiting for him in bed.
You know he was waiting for hisdad to come home so he can,
(01:03:17):
like you know, be with his dad.
When his dad, seen that he wason the bed, started his private
parts, touched his butt and titiwas pretending like he was
asleep at the time, when he waswaiting for his dad on the bed
because he, his dad, had justgot home.
Yeah, he was pretending to gosleep.
(01:03:39):
And then he realizes that hisdad is doing this and he asks
his dad why are you touching mein my private parts?
He told me he doesn't rememberwhat his dad said, but he knew
that his dad was lying to him,mm-mm.
So when he tells me that I goto the police, again, there was
(01:04:03):
no way of me.
One is telling me that he'stouching on her and trying to
you know, physically rape her.
And then the other child istelling me the same thing and,
mind you, my daughter was not inthe same room.
He doesn't know the details.
(01:04:23):
Had to go to the police stationmake another um police report,
they end up doing ainvestigation.
They did a forensic andinterview with them.
So that means somebody that'scertified to talk to children um
, without asking them questions,is interrogating them in a room
(01:04:43):
.
So all of my three kids aregoing through this forensic
interview.
I'm getting interviewed, mysister's getting interviewed, my
husband's being interviewed.
You know I'm telling them allthe information that I know that
I can help possibly, like helpme in the situation where we can
(01:05:04):
locate him.
You know there were witnessesbecause my younger son, when it
happened to him, he told hisolder brother, which is zaya,
and his cousins about whathappened.
So we had to locate the cousins.
They pretend like they didn'tknow where you know, like that
(01:05:26):
they didn't say it.
Um, I gave them their address.
They literally told the policethat they don't, they don't know
who that person is and it wasthem.
They live in that same addressthat I gave.
The police denied it completely,saying that they didn't live
there.
So it took for them to like acouple, like probably three
(01:05:50):
weeks to do the investigation.
When they were done with theinvestigation they had found
evidence and probable cause toarrest him, but during that time
they had told me not to contacthim.
Don't call him, don't text himand he's going on my phone like
Mira coño, porque no?
Porque you know you're notanswering me.
(01:06:12):
I'm trying to hear about thekids.
He's going on my phone and I'mnot answering him and in my mind
I'm like he's going on my phonebecause he knows that he got
caught.
They already spoke up, theyalready said everything that
happened.
You know he was just blowing upmy phone not to worry about the
(01:06:34):
kids and and know what's goingon with the kids.
It was more to know if he gotcaught or to try to make you uh
take him back so when he, when Ihad uh finished all that and I
was talking to the detectivesand stuff, they end up catching
him by surprise.
They end up picking him up atthe house and and they set bail.
(01:07:08):
They posted bail for him afterI begged them when they were
doing the interview outside.
Look, he's the type that ifhe's in trouble he's gonna run
from the trouble.
You know, that's the type Igave.
I was literally with this manfor 12 years.
I would know the ins and outsof how he reacts when trouble
comes his way.
I'm like if he pulls bail, he'sgonna end up running to miami.
(01:07:29):
They arrest him, they give hima bond I think it was a hundred
thousand per case, so it's like10%.
Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
Family ends up bailing him out.
So when his family bailed himout, um, he showed up to the
first court date with the lawyer.
Um being that, it was like likeuh uh, winter break.
So during winter break, I guess, the lawyer had um set out his
(01:08:11):
vacation time so that the courtdate intervened with his
vacation time.
So he said that he wantedanother court date and the being
that the lawyer ends up passingaway on vacation.
What of a heart attack.
What a fucking story.
So when the lawyer ends uppassing away, this is from a
(01:08:34):
cost of law which is right bymaywood um courthouse.
This is like a law firm that'sbeen there for years so it was
the owner of that law firm thatthat was taking his case ends up
getting a heart attack while onvacation.
Um, so they had postponed thecourt date.
When the court date comes back,that's when we find out, um
(01:09:00):
that the lawyer that he had andthe passing away facebook post I
I start seeing all thesefacebook posts about this um
judge, uh lawyer, acosta, acosta, everywhere, just posted like
my condolences, it's his fuckinglawyer.
That's what happens.
(01:09:21):
Um, they postponed the thecourt date to another court date
.
Um, and it's somebody, it's alawyer within the same firm.
I'm like, hmm, he end upgetting another lawyer, so they
postponed it so he can get up todate with the discovery of
(01:09:41):
everything that was going on.
I'm like, okay, well, he'sgoing to until proven guilty.
You know, at the end, I knowthat my kids are not going to
make up those details, but atthe same time it's like he's
denying it.
Okay, well, prove your case,prove it, prove that you're
innocent.
¿qué pasa your case?
(01:10:08):
Prove it, prove that you'reinnocent.
The next court date comesdoesn't show up.
The second court date comes,doesn't show up, slowly but
surely.
I'm like I told you guys thisonce he posts bail and shit, his
the fucking fan, he's gonna run, and the only place that his
family tends to run to isflorida.
That's where they go to.
(01:10:33):
They go to florida.
I tell them this.
They're like, oh well, since heyou know, he missed his court
dates, all we can do is give hima national fugitive warrant and
see if he comes back toIllinois or if you have an exact
(01:10:54):
address in Florida.
We can send out paperwork toidaand see if we can extradite him
over here.
The reason why they would saythat they would extradite him
from florida over here wasbecause abuse started when he
took them on a trip to floridawhen she was seven years old.
(01:11:14):
Okay, so they do have a caselike, say, if I wanted to go to
Florida and open the case, thenit would help me to get a case
started over there and one overhere.
But the thing is that now,since I have posted that TikTok
(01:11:35):
video everywhere, some peopleare telling me that he's in
Honduras, some people aretelling me that he's in honduras
, some people are telling mehe's he's in miami.
So I really don't know.
But you know like it's kind ofhard.
You know, just sitting thereand waiting, you know, while
you're piecing your kidstogether and you're piecing
(01:11:56):
basically their whole lives andthey're grieving for people that
are not even dead.
You know, like su tío, su tía.
You know the grandparents,their father, like I'm trying to
piece them all together and toknow that I gotta sit there and
wait and twiddle my fingersuntil he either comes back and
(01:12:16):
fucks up or until, like, theyfigure out what they're gonna do
with him.
But to wait 20, 30 freakingyears for my daughter to get
justice, I I feel like thatwasn't fair for them.
I feel like they're anotherstatistic in the system where
you know, like they don't, theydon't have a say in.
(01:12:39):
Okay, well, let's go pick thisguy up and and have him pay for
the stuff, the, the damages thathe did to his children yeah, I
got you so that's why I took theinitiative to sit there and say
, okay, fuck how I feel, fuckhow I look, I don't care if you
know, because people are gonnajudge and people are gonna think
(01:12:59):
like, okay, well, where was she?
You know, in all of this, Ididn't know my kids.
They try to hide it from me.
So good, and it was to not hurtme.
You know what it is to readyour daughter's trauma narrative
and it say that she didn't wantto break my heart kids do that
(01:13:20):
that broke my heart yeah, yeah,it's funny, they didn't speak up
because they didn't want tobreak my heart.
That shit broke my heart becauseif, if I knew for one instant
that he was doing that to them,I would have fought with
everything in me to make surethat he would never even get
(01:13:42):
near them.
But to know, years after she,it started when she was seven
and she didn't tell me till shewas 11.
Wow, that's tough to swallow,man and as a mother, I'm like,
damn, he didn't give me that,that ick of being.
(01:14:05):
He never gave me that ick.
And I'm thinking, okay, well,we're co-parenting.
Yeah, it might be a bitterdivorce and you know, you're
getting mad because I don't wantto be with you.
And when I divorced him hewasn't able to get his papers,
(01:14:29):
so he was off the bat pissed offabout that.
He couldn't claim citizenshipbecause I had already got
divorced by him.
Mind you, I was his sponsor, sohe was already pissed off about
that.
I'm thinking like, okay, well,he's kind of mad because I don't
want to be with him.
But it had nothing to do withthe kids Not realizing like,
(01:14:52):
damn, I let my kids stay withthis monster and he was going to
end up hurting them.
Speaker 1 (01:14:57):
And he was disguised the whole time.
Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
The whole time I told him like I don't want to
traumatize my kids with anytrauma, because I've been
through trauma since I was young.
You know I was trying to do theright thing as a mother and say
, hey, you know, you gotsomething stable.
I'm not going to traumatizethem with my shit.
You know, let me figure it outand make sure that they're okay.
(01:15:25):
You know, and sometimes I as amother, I feel guilt of like I
put myself first, and when I putmyself first, my, my kids end
up paying for it.
My kids end up paying for it.
(01:15:49):
But at the same time it's likeI had to get out.
But you hello being able to bea mother and being able to have
my mental and get my mentalright so that way I can be there
for them that's, that's the waythat I am now.
I'm 10 toes behind my kids, likethere's no, there's nobody
coming in between my kids.
Yeah, but it took so many yearsof me being out of light of the
(01:16:15):
verbal abuse, the emotionalabuse, the mental abuse, you
know.
It took so much.
It came to a point where I feltlike I wanted to give up so bad
.
But the only, the only way thatI kept pushing in this life was
my kids, my kids, my kids.
I need my kids, my kids need me.
(01:16:45):
But to come to find out, allthis was in the hands of their
dad, the one that would alwaystell me that I'm a bad mother
because I left, because I didn'twant to come back, for him to
do that, and especially it beingyour own children, your own
blood, your own seed, that hurtsso freaking bad.
Own seed that hurts so freakingbad.
(01:17:07):
Yeah, that hurt me, thatdestroyed me.
I I took them to therapy.
I've done therapy and just toknow that the system, the way
it's worked it to sit down andwait until my daughter gets
justice.
I wasn't going to let thathappen, even though it was
embarrassing and I had to put mystory out online and see the
(01:17:29):
comments of how terrible of amother I was, and see that.
Oh well, you knew him from thejump.
Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
But there's nothing.
There's nothing embarrassingabout that.
You were blinded, you didn'tsee it, there was no way to tell
that this guy was a scumbag andyou have to let it out so
people can find this scumbagbecause he's on the run.
So there was nothing.
There's nothing embarrassingabout this, and you should never
(01:18:00):
feel embarrassed about this.
You're trying to protect yourchild the best way you can, and
that's all the mother can doright now.
Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
I just want to be a voice to people, or to women, to
not feel guilty if it'sanything related to domestic, to
think of themselves and get outbefore it gets too ugly.
Or for children to you know,even if it's the person closest
(01:18:32):
to you, speak up, for you tospeak up and not be scared about
it.
Speaker 1 (01:18:36):
Yes, I agree.
Speaker 2 (01:18:38):
To not be scared, whether it's your mother,
whether it's your father,whether it's your mother,
whether it's your father,whether it's your uncle, your
brother, your sister, whoever itis.
yeah, yeah, abuse is abuse andit's not good and the reason why
I brought it to the, to thesocial media platform, is to
help somebody else, even if it'ssomebody within his reach or
(01:19:00):
anybody that's scared to speakup.
There's a lot of children, evenmy daughter's friends.
They all have their own abusestory.
Yeah, and it's so sad becausesome of the moms don't believe
their kids.
Some of the moms don't speak up.
Some of the moms brush it underthe rug.
(01:19:22):
Some of the moms don't speak up.
Some of the moms brush it underthe rug.
Some of the moms don't call thepolice.
They don't want a spectacle inthe family, they don't want to
be ridiculed, they don't want tobe blamed.
I don't care about any of that.
A child is a child and childrenare off limits is a child and
(01:19:44):
children are off limits, andthat's why I, as much as like it
hurts me and to reliveeverything that I've had to deal
with this far, I decided that Iwanted to come on the podcast
because, at the end of the day,like I don't want to help
children that are not able tohave that backbone and speak up,
and that's what jaylani wouldwant and jaylani is all for,
(01:20:10):
even though she was scared atthe moment.
Now that she's gone throughtherapy and that she has sat
down with me and I've I've madeher secure to the point where
she wants to tell her story andshe's okay with everybody
knowing the the ugly truth, thebeautiful parts of her.
(01:20:33):
She's okay with showing what'svulnerable and and trying to
help somebody that's in need.
Speaker 1 (01:20:44):
And and trying to help somebody that's in need.
And another thing is thatyou're also helping the parents
the parents who are not able tosee this happening to their
child, and even the parents thatare kind of like I don't want
to go to the cops because I'membarrassed.
No, you need to do this, youneed to step out, you need to
(01:21:08):
take this person off the streets.
This person needs to go to jail.
So you're not only helping thekids, but you're also helping
the parents learn how to dealwith this, Because this is a
process of dealing with pain.
You know what I'm saying.
So it's good and I'm happy thatyou came to this podcast and
discussed your story.
(01:21:34):
I know, I know baby, but can youtry your speaker Speaker?
Try your speaker speaker.
Speaker 2 (01:21:47):
Try your speaker or your headset.
Speaker 1 (01:21:48):
Yeah, we're going to check on this.
How's that?
No, you still can't.
(01:22:10):
Okay, well, we're going to endthis podcast.
I want to thank you, dorisGarment, for your incredible
story Of your daughter's painand even your own pain, because
you are the mother and you hadto deal with this and go through
this, you know.
So I just want to thank youvery much for sharing your story
(01:22:30):
at the podcast and I wish youthe best with your therapy and
everything.
Okay, thank you and have a goodone.
And have a good one.
Thanks for listening to ourshow.
This concludes our episode.
And listen up to the nextepisode To follow up on what
(01:22:53):
Continuing topics and trends wehave going on, and just to
continue to listen to your boy,ny Boom, and co-host Big Daz,
and listen to our points ofviews, and maybe you can add on
to it if you want, but we'llcatch you on the next one.
All right, have a good one.
Peace out, fellas.
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