Buckle up for our raw, unfiltered reaction to Eurovision 2025's second semi-final! We're diving into this year's wildest collection of musical offerings before the performances even hit the stage.
Australia opens the night with what might be the most polarizing act of the competition – the infamous "Milkshake Man" who's already generating heated debates across the Eurovision community. From there, we journey through the musical extremes that make this competition so addictively watchable: Montenegro's gothic drama, Ireland's bizarre tribute to a Soviet space dog, and Malta's controversially censored "Serving" that has fans ready to rebel against the EBU's language restrictions.
The standout performances of the night promise to be Czechia's sultry, Bond-worthy "Kiss Kiss Goodbye" and Austria's operatic vocal showcase that could either soar or crash depending on the live delivery. Meanwhile, Georgia brings traditional dancing elements that will have jury members reaching for their highest scores, while Finland closes the show with a provocative female empowerment anthem that could divide voters.
What makes this semi-final particularly fascinating is the clash between jury bait and public favorites. Will the juries ever embrace the theatrical elements that make Eurovision unique, or will they retreat to safer, more traditional performances? And which countries will ultimately secure their spot in the grand final?
Ready to join us for this Eurovision journey? Grab your scorecards, prepare your party snacks, and don't forget to hydrate! The road to Switzerland's 2025 Eurovision is about to get very interesting indeed.
#eurovision
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Hey, hello and and bonjour, guten tag.
Privet, hello and welcome backto the DuSpoir podcast this
episode.
We are having a quick reactionpreview to semi-final two of
(01:03):
Eurovision 2025.
Now this is being based on.
I have just listened to thesongs and I have watched the
promotional videos and some ofthe live performances.
Haven't watched any of theactual stage production.
We've been through this, so ifyou don't want to hear any
detail whatsoever, you don'twant to hear what anyone is
(01:27):
serving, this is the time toavert your ears.
We're not going into greatin-depth detail.
This is just an initialreaction, just to see who we
think, from the song alone, isgoing to be going through.
Obviously, everything is 90%it's going to be from the live
studio production, but let's putour feet in the water, see if
(01:50):
we can get a feel for it thisyear.
Now I'm just going to say it.
I think one of the performancesthat people are going to have a
most visceral reaction to, ineither terms of immediate love
or immediate hate, it is goingto be, without a doubt,
australia.
Who is kicking off semi-finaltwo.
Now, australia did somethingdifferent this year.
(02:12):
This did not go to a publicvote.
The public vote did not decideon this.
In fact, I can't find anyreference of who actually is
taking responsibility for thissong, who picked it and for what
reason, lord only knows.
But apparently they went.
Oh look, there's a guy.
(02:32):
He had a hit video on TikTok.
Let's give him full reign torepresent Australia at
Eurovision and I am just goingto say it now at Eurovision.
And I am just going to say itnow.
I strongly apologise to allpeople of Europe.
Australia apologises for themilkshake man.
(02:58):
Oh my Lord, it is terrible.
Weirdly, I have encountered somepeople who say they absolutely
love it.
I am filled with absolute dread.
I don't know what they werethinking.
(03:18):
For a start, I have to behonest, not every country has a
person that drives around in alittle van selling ice creams to
people, and I certainly don'twant to think of that man in a
sexual way.
Oh, this is.
Look, you know me, I am all fora novelty act, I love a novelty
(03:41):
act.
Obviously, people looked at thesuccess of Windows 95, man and
went, oh, I'm going to do thatand they've done this, but
without the charisma or thepizzazz.
Oh, he's just there is.
It just seems to be the wholeperformance centers around him
like aggressively shaking hiscrutch in your direction, which
(04:04):
usually I'm a huge fan of atEurovision.
But I don't know.
There's just something aboutthe whole package Maybe it's
because I'm vegan Doesn't appealto me, sorry, you know what
this is.
This is 100%.
This is guys sitting togetherin a room going yeah, yeah, I'm
(04:24):
totally going to give the womenwhat they want.
This is what the women want.
The women and the gay men.
They're going to want this.
No, no, we don't, we don't, wedon't want this.
Pretty sure I speak for a lotof us when I say no, no, thank
you, as I put my hand over mydrink to cover it as I leave.
(04:47):
I'm so sorry.
Europe, please don't hold thisagainst us.
Could this be the last yearwe're in Eurovision?
I think there is a very goodchance Australia could be served
a restraining order after thisperformance.
It's certainly going to be onehell of a memorable way to kick
off semi-final two.
(05:07):
We are being followed veryquickly from Montenegro, who are
sending Nina Zizek with DobreDol.
Honestly, the absolute bestthing that could have happened
to this really serious songwould be to follow the complete
(05:27):
fluffy nonsense that isAustralia.
This song is serious, it isheavy, it is gothic darkness.
It has crossed oceans of timeto love you and the juries will
honestly wet their panties whenthey get a hold of this.
You know what?
It has got enough drama to drawyou in and I think, following
(05:53):
the what the hellness ofAustralia, I think this is only
going to embolden this one.
I think Montenegro will bedefinitely going through to the
grand final Third on stage.
We will be greeted by Ireland.
Now, of course, after Eurovision2024, and one of the most
(06:17):
controversial figures I thinkthat's quite easy to say of 2024
has to be the Irish entrance ofBambi Thug.
For whichever reasons, wordsconstantly in the news.
Ireland obviously said you knowwhat we don't want to deal with
that level of controversy thisyear.
(06:38):
What can we do to find theleast controversial person in
Ireland who's not going to starta fight?
And do you know who is theleast controversial person in
Ireland who's not going to starta fight?
And do you know who is theleast controversial person in
Ireland?
Apparently, it's a Norwegian.
That's right.
Norway is back on its quest toapparently represent every
(07:00):
country at Eurovision this year.
Or there is the other very realpossibility that Ireland just
couldn't find anyone prepared tosing this song.
Well, move over, milkshake man.
I stand corrected.
We now have the most ridiculoussong of the night.
(07:21):
Ah, emmy is singing a songabout Laika Party, l-a-i-k-a and
not Laika Party, laika Virgin,laika Party.
Let me tell you a little bitabout Laika for those who don't
know Now.
Back in the 50s, of course, thespace race was on between the
(07:42):
USSR and America, everyonecrambling to be the absolute
first in space, launch the firstrockets, launch the first
people into space.
It was a absolute quest pedalto the metal.
So the USSR found a poor littlehomeless street dog.
(08:05):
They took her in.
Poor little homeless street dog.
They took her in.
They then strapped her into arocket and jettisoned her into
space.
Now the thing that we have tonote is that rocket did not have
the capability to return toEarth.
That's right.
The USSR sent a homeless doginto space and left it up there
(08:28):
to die, so like a frozen deaddog up there right now been
circling the earth ever since.
It is worth noting, sometimeslater Russia actually sent some
other animals into space,including they did send a cat,
which made it all the way intospace, and then Fur Baby.
(08:50):
The rocket came back, survivedthe trip to Earth lived for 10
days.
Then they killed the cat, diedfor nothing.
Woo, space, hey, how come KatyPerry managed to walk away alive
(09:18):
?
I'm just saying, if we have tosacrifice someone to the space,
gods leave the street, cats anddogs alone.
D-grade hosts of American Idol,I say have at it for science.
Yeah, this is awful.
I'm not even going to rank this, I am just going to put this
(09:41):
one straight in the bin.
Not only is it terrible, butnow you've ruined my night.
Now I'm thinking about deaddogs floating around in space.
Thanks for that island, butwhen you've done crying your
(10:01):
eyes out, latvia are here tosave the day.
They have sent Dottamietis withBurman Lamy.
This song and this film clip Iam here to say is to let us all
know that drugs are back in themusic scene.
Woo, think Enya, enya, trippingballs in the woods, just waving
(10:27):
the fabric they've just boughtfrom their local spotlight store
around.
Woo, look at me, I'm a ghost.
Woo, I'm not tripping balls,you're tripping balls.
Woo, ah, look, it's crazyenough.
It's female positivity.
I'm for it.
You know what?
Let's put it in the grand final, why not?
I think the jury will eat thisone up and give it some great
(10:51):
points, which is going to helppush it through.
And speaking of femaleempowerment, let's look at some
male failing we have.
Armenia has sent Parg with.
Survivor Parg's obviously beenspending his past time composing
(11:12):
songs and watching rewrites ofMad Max 2, the Road Warrior, as
seen through his outfits.
The thing that will overwhelmyou the most after the outfit is
you are going to ask yourselfdid Armenia realize, when they
picked Pug, that Eurovision isindeed a singing contest?
(11:34):
I will give him points forconsistency, though he starts
off key, he ends off key.
I don't know what that key is.
There's a reason people don'tplay it.
Take it out and bend it.
Ah, not going through.
Let's quickly just erase thisfrom your memory.
You never have to hear it again, but that's fine, because your
(11:58):
head is now going to be filledwith one thing, and one thing
alone, and that is the Austriaentry, jj, who has sent wasted
love Again.
The first thing you're going tothink about this song is oh, oh,
that was not the note I wasexpecting to come.
Oh, that was not the note thatI was expecting to come from
(12:19):
them.
Even if you're a little bithesitant at first, I think the
key with this is, you have tojust give in and let it wash
over you.
This one, I think, is anotherabsolute contender for the whole
prize.
It's beautiful, it's dramatic.
(12:39):
It drops the opera and thendrops a little dancey bit in the
middle for the kids, drops alittle dancey bit in the middle
for the kids.
This one, actually, it has ataste of a little bit of Nemo's
the Code.
For me, what is absolutely goingto make or break is this is
such a vocal based song.
(13:01):
Now, there are songs that youcan well, let me just say you
can not have the best singingvoice, but you can still carry
it off.
This song is all about thevocal production and this, the
success for this 100%, is goingto be if JJ can pull off these
notes, live.
If he can't complete disaster,he may not even make it through
(13:25):
to the grand final, but if hecan pull these notes off, chef's
kiss, he is straight up theleader's board, followed on the
night.
Now, looking at these, I'm nottalking about the big five,
which are already guaranteed,I'm just looking at the
countries that are actuallyfighting for a spot.
We have Greece.
(13:46):
They have Clavidia with hersong Astromatata.
Look, they say her name isClavidia, and Clavidia is
channeling the spirit of NanaMuscuri harder than anyone has
ever channeled Nana Muscuribefore.
Look, it's a song about hi, mom, I'm dead, don't feel bad about
(14:08):
me, which is an unusual theme,I think, to carry on to a party.
But there's something about it.
It's deep, it's dark, it'smysterious.
It's got a little bit of a hook.
Maybe on a stronger year it maystruggle, but considering look,
this is not a definitive yearof winners I think it definitely
(14:32):
still has a chance of goingthrough into the grand final.
If you're sitting at home andyou're like, oh, where's the emo
, angry, mopey, teenage angst,well, don't worry.
This year that is covered byLithuania.
Who is sending Catarsis?
(15:01):
It doesn't matter, we won't behearing about this again at the
grand final.
Like I said, moody mopey, givethem a Snickers and move on,
just when you might be ready togive up on semi-final two in
rides.
Our saviour, our saviour, thisyear is coming all the way from
(15:21):
Malta to Miriana Conte with hersong Serving Cunt.
Now it will be seen as servingon the screens, but I am letting
everyone in that room know thatthis is not serving.
It is serving cunt.
And before you say anything andwrite for that censor button.
(15:44):
No, it is not serving.
No, it is not serving.
It is not serving.
It is serving cunt K-A-N-T.
It's not C-U-N-T, okay, so it'snot.
It's cunt Not cunt, but cuntK-A-N-T.
So it is a word for Malta, for,in drag terms, it is serving
giving good face, vogue, vogue,vogue serving cunt, absolutely
(16:08):
delivering.
But oh, the bureaucracy, thepatriarchy, the censors stepped
in and said no, excuse me, ma'am, you cannot say the word at
Eurovision.
But she's like, I'm not saying,I'm saying EBU said we do not
discriminate against here, oneis a and we don't like god damn
(16:32):
patriarchy.
So they said we will not letyou go on the stage and sing
serving.
So Miriana went back to thegame board and is now singing
serving.
But the best bit, what I haveseen is from every live
performance yes, you, everyoneat home, everyone in the crowd,
(16:53):
you know the mission.
Don't let them stop you, Don'tlet them censor you when it's on
stage, sing it out and let'sget ready to serve some.
This is 100% going through.
I don't even care if it's theworst vocal performance of the
night.
I don't care if the elasticslaps.
(17:14):
She drops her jaws and fallsoff stage and a cameraman is
accidentally killed by flyingsequin.
Put it through, Europe.
Put it through.
Next, following up from theabsolute trash and treasure that
is Malta, we have Georgia, whois bringing the Jewelry members'
(17:37):
absolute wet dream.
Mariam Shangolia is singingFreedom.
At first, when this started, Iwas like I'm not going to like
this.
But oh, let it build.
It has a weird build, it has asense of opera, it has drama and
(17:57):
I think the key note here is inthe video performance.
She actually has sometraditional Georgian people
coming out doing some extraGeorgia dancing on the style.
A lot of big men with mustachesleaping athletically through
the air.
I think that's going to be avery much a strong component of
(18:19):
this.
This one is guaranteed to gothrough the jurors.
Well, the only way this willnot go through is if the jurors
is so busy touching themselvesthey don't actually have time to
hit the 12 point bottom.
I think this is going to get somany jury points it is going to
go straight through.
I love a bit of drama.
(18:40):
That bippity bop beat getspicked up again by Denmark who
was sending Sissel withhallucination.
I don't normally like thesekinds of songs, but this one is
a little bit earwormy.
What I can see from the liveperformance video.
Oh, I'm really worried thatthey're just going to do some
(19:01):
very awful staging with this one.
Oh, it just seems it's aproblem when, like Sissel is an
absolute gorgeous woman but wesee it every year Europe tends
to be like oh, she's not a sizeeight, let's freak out, do
something awkward, stick her upon a fake mountain or a weird
(19:22):
stage.
In the middle of the stage, thepoor woman can't move.
I hope they just give her timeand space to perform.
Look, I really hope this onegoes through, but I have to be
honest.
I think semifinal two isdefinitely a lot stronger than
semifinal one.
I think if she was in semifinalone she would go through, but
(19:46):
in semifinal two she'sdefinitely going to have a bit
of a struggle because there aresome songs that are, quite
frankly, either better or morememorable.
So we'll see how she goes, Ithink, but I've got to be honest
.
I'd like it to go through, butI just don't think it will.
On the night I'm adding it to myplaylist anyway.
(20:09):
I don't mind it.
Now we're coming with Chetia,who's sending Adonis with Kiss,
kiss, goodbye.
I had heard nothing about thissong until I played it.
Oh, I got absolute chills, andwhen I say chills I mean the
sexy chills.
(20:29):
Hello, ohchita Worth's RiseLike a Phoenix.
Kiss Kiss Goodbye could easilybe the next James Bond theme
tune.
If you told me the next JamesBond film was called Kiss Kiss
Goodbye and this was the theme,I would absolutely believe it,
(20:50):
100%.
This would go to Los Angeles,they'd put it up for an Academy
Award and it would win.
My God, this song is sexy.
It does have a couple ofmoments of oh, I question, was
it right to drop that dance beatin the middle of it?
But I can't hold it against it.
There is a sensuality, adecadence, a unadulterated
(21:15):
sexiness.
I want to play cards and thencry in a ball gown in a shower
while a man puts his dinnerjacket over me.
Okay, that might be a weirdspecific fetish.
But again, this is going to beso keen to the staging.
Please don't stuff up thestaging.
(21:37):
The vocal performance is goingto have to be on point.
If it is, oh, it's an absolutekiller.
This is the Thunderbolt.
Tom Jones, shirley Basseymoment oh, chills.
So what is going to follow that?
Well, obviously, nothing isgoing to compete and it's
(21:59):
certainly not going to beLuxembourg.
Laura Therns with La Poupe MonLeçon.
I don't know this one, just Idon't know.
Do you ever just hear a songand be like I have a creepy
reaction to this.
Like, do you ever just walk asong and be like I have a creepy
reaction to this.
Like, do you ever just walkpast someone in a bar and get a
vibe that you instantly don'tlike them?
I don't know why, but this wasthe reaction I had to this song.
(22:21):
Don't know why.
Can't justify it, just don'tlike it.
Moving on, next on the list,israel has sent Yuval Rafael let
me know if I've said that.
Right, mickey with her song NewDay Will Rise.
I like this song, combinationof English, french and Hebrew.
(22:42):
This is another song.
At parts is just being moreFrench than France.
It's beautiful.
Yuval has a beautiful, deep,raspy, sexy voice.
But I'm going to be honest,this song is not as good as last
year's Hurricane.
I think that was a superiorsong.
(23:03):
I still think this is a greatballad.
It rises, it has emotion, ithas a drama.
I think this one willdefinitely go through.
I have noticed with Yuval aswell as Klavdia how do you get
your hair so shiny Like it's?
When my hair is shiny, it'sjust greasy and crap, but yours
(23:24):
is shiny, but blowing in thewind and looking lovely and
beautiful.
How do you do it?
I don't know.
I think it's rude that you knowand I don't.
But not bitter, not bitter atall.
Next on the list, serbia issending Prince with Mila.
Not that Prince, not the Prince.
I mean that would be impressiveif they could resurrect Prince
(23:48):
to survive.
There's a douce poire rightthere, but no different prince.
He definitely looks like.
He is the living version of ahero that you expect to see in a
Disney film, with manicuredeyebrows, beard and, again,
shiny hair that I can only dreamof.
He looks like, basically, ifJesus came back and was a
(24:12):
hairdresser in Soho, this iswhat it'd look like.
I just looked up the lyrics forthis song.
I'm not even shitting you.
The first two lines is let thisbe for me.
The last supper Nailed it.
See what I did there.
Look, it has drama.
(24:32):
It's got smoke machine Again.
Apparently that's the thing forthis year People just twirling
around, there are bits of fabric.
The juries are going to eatthis up.
I think Hot Jesus will probablygo through to the grand final,
or will he?
Because, because we have onemore song.
(24:59):
Night two of the Eurovision 2025semifinals is going to end in
the most spectacular way withFinland.
They are sending Erika Wickmanwith Iho me, iho me, oh my Lord,
you know what?
I'm not even going to say aword because I don't want to
spoil a moment of what you'reabout to see.
(25:20):
It is about strong sexualfemale empowerment of Erica, the
vixen that she is.
You know what.
It's not even the best vocalperformance, but I don't even
care, because she has enough rawcharisma to pull it off.
(25:40):
My Lord, the juries are reallygoing to be besides themselves.
They are going to hate this somuch.
Then they're going to rememberthe milkshake man, then they're
going to remember serving, andthey just won't know what to do
with themselves.
What do they hate the most?
That's going to be the biggestquestion of this year's
(26:05):
Eurovision.
Which one of these amazingnovelty acts do they hate the
most?
Look, the sensible side of mesays that there's no way they
will let Finland go through.
They're going to give itnegative scores, the jury, but
(26:26):
the public aren't going to loveit so much.
All right, so this is what Ipredict.
You know what?
I'm just going to go with myheart on Finland and say they're
going to go through.
If I've got to pick 10 to gothrough, I'm going to call it
Finland, israel, czechia,denmark, georgia, greece, latvia
, montenegro, malta and Austria.
It's getting spicy.
(26:50):
I've actually recorded a shortreaction to all of these videos.
Hopefully, if I can figure outthis editing machine, we'll have
it up soon on YouTube.
I'll provide links on ourInstapay.
Just remember to hydrate, drinkplenty of water and leave a
glass of water, panadol and abanana by the side of your bed
(27:13):
for those day after pick me ups.
Rest easy, my friend, becausewe are going to be back here
very soon and we are going tokick it off to the 2025 DJ Basil
Bobo Eurovision in Switzerland.
See you there.
Hey, hello and and bonjour, guten tag.
Privet, hello and welcome backto the DuSpoir podcast this
episode.
We are having a quick reactionpreview to semi-final two of
(01:03):
Eurovision 2025.
Now this is being based on.
I have just listened to thesongs and I have watched the
promotional videos and some ofthe live performances.
Haven't watched any of theactual stage production.
We've been through this, so ifyou don't want to hear any
detail whatsoever, you don'twant to hear what anyone is
(01:27):
serving, this is the time toavert your ears.
We're not going into greatin-depth detail.
This is just an initialreaction, just to see who we
think, from the song alone, isgoing to be going through.
Obviously, everything is 90%it's going to be from the live
studio production, but let's putour feet in the water, see if
(01:50):
we can get a feel for it thisyear.
Now I'm just going to say it.
I think one of the performancesthat people are going to have a
most visceral reaction to, ineither terms of immediate love
or immediate hate, it is goingto be, without a doubt,
australia.
Who is kicking off semi-finaltwo.
Now, australia did somethingdifferent this year.
(02:12):
This did not go to a publicvote.
The public vote did not decideon this.
In fact, I can't find anyreference of who actually is
taking responsibility for thissong, who picked it and for what
reason, lord only knows.
But apparently they went.
Oh look, there's a guy.
(02:32):
He had a hit video on TikTok.
Let's give him full reign torepresent Australia at
Eurovision and I am just goingto say it now at Eurovision.
And I am just going to say itnow.
I strongly apologise to allpeople of Europe.
Australia apologises for themilkshake man.
(02:58):
Oh my Lord, it is terrible.
Weirdly, I have encountered somepeople who say they absolutely
love it.
I am filled with absolute dread.
I don't know what they werethinking.
(03:18):
For a start, I have to behonest, not every country has a
person that drives around in alittle van selling ice creams to
people, and I certainly don'twant to think of that man in a
sexual way.
Oh, this is.
Look, you know me, I am all fora novelty act, I love a novelty
(03:41):
act.
Obviously, people looked at thesuccess of Windows 95, man and
went, oh, I'm going to do thatand they've done this, but
without the charisma or thepizzazz.
Oh, he's just there is.
It just seems to be the wholeperformance centers around him
like aggressively shaking hiscrutch in your direction, which
(04:04):
usually I'm a huge fan of atEurovision.
But I don't know.
There's just something aboutthe whole package Maybe it's
because I'm vegan Doesn't appealto me, sorry, you know what
this is.
This is 100%.
This is guys sitting togetherin a room going yeah, yeah, I'm
(04:24):
totally going to give the womenwhat they want.
This is what the women want.
The women and the gay men.
They're going to want this.
No, no, we don't, we don't, wedon't want this.
Pretty sure I speak for a lotof us when I say no, no, thank
you, as I put my hand over mydrink to cover it as I leave.
(04:47):
I'm so sorry.
Europe, please don't hold thisagainst us.
Could this be the last yearwe're in Eurovision?
I think there is a very goodchance Australia could be served
a restraining order after thisperformance.
It's certainly going to be onehell of a memorable way to kick
off semi-final two.
(05:07):
We are being followed veryquickly from Montenegro, who are
sending Nina Zizek with DobreDol.
Honestly, the absolute bestthing that could have happened
to this really serious songwould be to follow the complete
(05:27):
fluffy nonsense that isAustralia.
This song is serious, it isheavy, it is gothic darkness.
It has crossed oceans of timeto love you and the juries will
honestly wet their panties whenthey get a hold of this.
You know what?
It has got enough drama to drawyou in and I think, following
(05:53):
the what the hellness ofAustralia, I think this is only
going to embolden this one.
I think Montenegro will bedefinitely going through to the
grand final Third on stage.
We will be greeted by Ireland.
Now, of course, after Eurovision2024, and one of the most
(06:17):
controversial figures I thinkthat's quite easy to say of 2024
has to be the Irish entrance ofBambi Thug.
For whichever reasons, wordsconstantly in the news.
Ireland obviously said you knowwhat we don't want to deal with
that level of controversy thisyear.
(06:38):
What can we do to find theleast controversial person in
Ireland who's not going to starta fight?
And do you know who is theleast controversial person in
Ireland who's not going to starta fight?
And do you know who is theleast controversial person in
Ireland?
Apparently, it's a Norwegian.
That's right.
Norway is back on its quest toapparently represent every
(07:00):
country at Eurovision this year.
Or there is the other very realpossibility that Ireland just
couldn't find anyone prepared tosing this song.
Well, move over, milkshake man.
I stand corrected.
We now have the most ridiculoussong of the night.
(07:21):
Ah, emmy is singing a songabout Laika Party, l-a-i-k-a and
not Laika Party, laika Virgin,laika Party.
Let me tell you a little bitabout Laika for those who don't
know Now.
Back in the 50s, of course, thespace race was on between the
(07:42):
USSR and America, everyonecrambling to be the absolute
first in space, launch the firstrockets, launch the first
people into space.
It was a absolute quest pedalto the metal.
So the USSR found a poor littlehomeless street dog.
(08:05):
They took her in.
Poor little homeless street dog.
They took her in.
They then strapped her into arocket and jettisoned her into
space.
Now the thing that we have tonote is that rocket did not have
the capability to return toEarth.
That's right.
The USSR sent a homeless doginto space and left it up there
(08:28):
to die, so like a frozen deaddog up there right now been
circling the earth ever since.
It is worth noting, sometimeslater Russia actually sent some
other animals into space,including they did send a cat,
which made it all the way intospace, and then Fur Baby.
(08:50):
The rocket came back, survivedthe trip to Earth lived for 10
days.
Then they killed the cat, diedfor nothing.
Woo, space, hey, how come KatyPerry managed to walk away alive
(09:18):
?
I'm just saying, if we have tosacrifice someone to the space,
gods leave the street, cats anddogs alone.
D-grade hosts of American Idol,I say have at it for science.
Yeah, this is awful.
I'm not even going to rank this, I am just going to put this
(09:41):
one straight in the bin.
Not only is it terrible, butnow you've ruined my night.
Now I'm thinking about deaddogs floating around in space.
Thanks for that island, butwhen you've done crying your
(10:01):
eyes out, latvia are here tosave the day.
They have sent Dottamietis withBurman Lamy.
This song and this film clip Iam here to say is to let us all
know that drugs are back in themusic scene.
Woo, think Enya, enya, trippingballs in the woods, just waving
(10:27):
the fabric they've just boughtfrom their local spotlight store
around.
Woo, look at me, I'm a ghost.
Woo, I'm not tripping balls,you're tripping balls.
Woo, ah, look, it's crazyenough.
It's female positivity.
I'm for it.
You know what?
Let's put it in the grand final, why not?
I think the jury will eat thisone up and give it some great
(10:51):
points, which is going to helppush it through.
And speaking of femaleempowerment, let's look at some
male failing we have.
Armenia has sent Parg with.
Survivor Parg's obviously beenspending his past time composing
(11:12):
songs and watching rewrites ofMad Max 2, the Road Warrior, as
seen through his outfits.
The thing that will overwhelmyou the most after the outfit is
you are going to ask yourselfdid Armenia realize, when they
picked Pug, that Eurovision isindeed a singing contest?
(11:34):
I will give him points forconsistency, though he starts
off key, he ends off key.
I don't know what that key is.
There's a reason people don'tplay it.
Take it out and bend it.
Ah, not going through.
Let's quickly just erase thisfrom your memory.
You never have to hear it again, but that's fine, because your
(11:58):
head is now going to be filledwith one thing, and one thing
alone, and that is the Austriaentry, jj, who has sent wasted
love Again.
The first thing you're going tothink about this song is oh, oh,
that was not the note I wasexpecting to come.
Oh, that was not the note thatI was expecting to come from
(12:19):
them.
Even if you're a little bithesitant at first, I think the
key with this is, you have tojust give in and let it wash
over you.
This one, I think, is anotherabsolute contender for the whole
prize.
It's beautiful, it's dramatic.
(12:39):
It drops the opera and thendrops a little dancey bit in the
middle for the kids, drops alittle dancey bit in the middle
for the kids.
This one, actually, it has ataste of a little bit of Nemo's
the Code.
For me, what is absolutely goingto make or break is this is
such a vocal based song.
(13:01):
Now, there are songs that youcan well, let me just say you
can not have the best singingvoice, but you can still carry
it off.
This song is all about thevocal production and this, the
success for this 100%, is goingto be if JJ can pull off these
notes, live.
If he can't complete disaster,he may not even make it through
(13:25):
to the grand final, but if hecan pull these notes off, chef's
kiss, he is straight up theleader's board, followed on the
night.
Now, looking at these, I'm nottalking about the big five,
which are already guaranteed,I'm just looking at the
countries that are actuallyfighting for a spot.
We have Greece.
(13:46):
They have Clavidia with hersong Astromatata.
Look, they say her name isClavidia, and Clavidia is
channeling the spirit of NanaMuscuri harder than anyone has
ever channeled Nana Muscuribefore.
Look, it's a song about hi, mom, I'm dead, don't feel bad about
(14:08):
me, which is an unusual theme,I think, to carry on to a party.
But there's something about it.
It's deep, it's dark, it'smysterious.
It's got a little bit of a hook.
Maybe on a stronger year it maystruggle, but considering look,
this is not a definitive yearof winners I think it definitely
(14:32):
still has a chance of goingthrough into the grand final.
If you're sitting at home andyou're like, oh, where's the emo
, angry, mopey, teenage angst,well, don't worry.
This year that is covered byLithuania.
Who is sending Catarsis?
(15:01):
It doesn't matter, we won't behearing about this again at the
grand final.
Like I said, moody mopey, givethem a Snickers and move on,
just when you might be ready togive up on semi-final two in
rides.
Our saviour, our saviour, thisyear is coming all the way from
(15:21):
Malta to Miriana Conte with hersong Serving Cunt.
Now it will be seen as servingon the screens, but I am letting
everyone in that room know thatthis is not serving.
It is serving cunt.
And before you say anything andwrite for that censor button.
(15:44):
No, it is not serving.
No, it is not serving.
It is not serving.
It is serving cunt K-A-N-T.
It's not C-U-N-T, okay, so it'snot.
It's cunt Not cunt, but cuntK-A-N-T.
So it is a word for Malta, for,in drag terms, it is serving
giving good face, vogue, vogue,vogue serving cunt, absolutely
(16:08):
delivering.
But oh, the bureaucracy, thepatriarchy, the censors stepped
in and said no, excuse me, ma'am, you cannot say the word at
Eurovision.
But she's like, I'm not saying,I'm saying EBU said we do not
discriminate against here, oneis a and we don't like god damn
(16:32):
patriarchy.
So they said we will not letyou go on the stage and sing
serving.
So Miriana went back to thegame board and is now singing
serving.
But the best bit, what I haveseen is from every live
performance yes, you, everyoneat home, everyone in the crowd,
(16:53):
you know the mission.
Don't let them stop you, Don'tlet them censor you when it's on
stage, sing it out and let'sget ready to serve some.
This is 100% going through.
I don't even care if it's theworst vocal performance of the
night.
I don't care if the elasticslaps.
(17:14):
She drops her jaws and fallsoff stage and a cameraman is
accidentally killed by flyingsequin.
Put it through, Europe.
Put it through.
Next, following up from theabsolute trash and treasure that
is Malta, we have Georgia, whois bringing the Jewelry members'
(17:37):
absolute wet dream.
Mariam Shangolia is singingFreedom.
At first, when this started, Iwas like I'm not going to like
this.
But oh, let it build.
It has a weird build, it has asense of opera, it has drama and
(17:57):
I think the key note here is inthe video performance.
She actually has sometraditional Georgian people
coming out doing some extraGeorgia dancing on the style.
A lot of big men with mustachesleaping athletically through
the air.
I think that's going to be avery much a strong component of
(18:19):
this.
This one is guaranteed to gothrough the jurors.
Well, the only way this willnot go through is if the jurors
is so busy touching themselvesthey don't actually have time to
hit the 12 point bottom.
I think this is going to get somany jury points it is going to
go straight through.
I love a bit of drama.
(18:40):
That bippity bop beat getspicked up again by Denmark who
was sending Sissel withhallucination.
I don't normally like thesekinds of songs, but this one is
a little bit earwormy.
What I can see from the liveperformance video.
Oh, I'm really worried thatthey're just going to do some
(19:01):
very awful staging with this one.
Oh, it just seems it's aproblem when, like Sissel is an
absolute gorgeous woman but wesee it every year Europe tends
to be like oh, she's not a sizeeight, let's freak out, do
something awkward, stick her upon a fake mountain or a weird
(19:22):
stage.
In the middle of the stage, thepoor woman can't move.
I hope they just give her timeand space to perform.
Look, I really hope this onegoes through, but I have to be
honest.
I think semifinal two isdefinitely a lot stronger than
semifinal one.
I think if she was in semifinalone she would go through, but
(19:46):
in semifinal two she'sdefinitely going to have a bit
of a struggle because there aresome songs that are, quite
frankly, either better or morememorable.
So we'll see how she goes, Ithink, but I've got to be honest
.
I'd like it to go through, butI just don't think it will.
On the night I'm adding it to myplaylist anyway.
(20:09):
I don't mind it.
Now we're coming with Chetia,who's sending Adonis with Kiss,
kiss, goodbye.
I had heard nothing about thissong until I played it.
Oh, I got absolute chills, andwhen I say chills I mean the
sexy chills.
(20:29):
Hello, ohchita Worth's RiseLike a Phoenix.
Kiss Kiss Goodbye could easilybe the next James Bond theme
tune.
If you told me the next JamesBond film was called Kiss Kiss
Goodbye and this was the theme,I would absolutely believe it,
(20:50):
100%.
This would go to Los Angeles,they'd put it up for an Academy
Award and it would win.
My God, this song is sexy.
It does have a couple ofmoments of oh, I question, was
it right to drop that dance beatin the middle of it?
But I can't hold it against it.
There is a sensuality, adecadence, a unadulterated
(21:15):
sexiness.
I want to play cards and thencry in a ball gown in a shower
while a man puts his dinnerjacket over me.
Okay, that might be a weirdspecific fetish.
But again, this is going to beso keen to the staging.
Please don't stuff up thestaging.
(21:37):
The vocal performance is goingto have to be on point.
If it is, oh, it's an absolutekiller.
This is the Thunderbolt.
Tom Jones, shirley Basseymoment oh, chills.
So what is going to follow that?
Well, obviously, nothing isgoing to compete and it's
(21:59):
certainly not going to beLuxembourg.
Laura Therns with La Poupe MonLeçon.
I don't know this one, just Idon't know.
Do you ever just hear a songand be like I have a creepy
reaction to this.
Like, do you ever just walk asong and be like I have a creepy
reaction to this.
Like, do you ever just walkpast someone in a bar and get a
vibe that you instantly don'tlike them?
I don't know why, but this wasthe reaction I had to this song.
(22:21):
Don't know why.
Can't justify it, just don'tlike it.
Moving on, next on the list,israel has sent Yuval Rafael let
me know if I've said that.
Right, mickey with her song NewDay Will Rise.
I like this song, combinationof English, french and Hebrew.
(22:42):
This is another song.
At parts is just being moreFrench than France.
It's beautiful.
Yuval has a beautiful, deep,raspy, sexy voice.
But I'm going to be honest,this song is not as good as last
year's Hurricane.
I think that was a superiorsong.
(23:03):
I still think this is a greatballad.
It rises, it has emotion, ithas a drama.
I think this one willdefinitely go through.
I have noticed with Yuval aswell as Klavdia how do you get
your hair so shiny Like it's?
When my hair is shiny, it'sjust greasy and crap, but yours
(23:24):
is shiny, but blowing in thewind and looking lovely and
beautiful.
How do you do it?
I don't know.
I think it's rude that you knowand I don't.
But not bitter, not bitter atall.
Next on the list, serbia issending Prince with Mila.
Not that Prince, not the Prince.
I mean that would be impressiveif they could resurrect Prince
(23:48):
to survive.
There's a douce poire rightthere, but no different prince.
He definitely looks like.
He is the living version of ahero that you expect to see in a
Disney film, with manicuredeyebrows, beard and, again,
shiny hair that I can only dreamof.
He looks like, basically, ifJesus came back and was a
(24:12):
hairdresser in Soho, this iswhat it'd look like.
I just looked up the lyrics forthis song.
I'm not even shitting you.
The first two lines is let thisbe for me.
The last supper Nailed it.
See what I did there.
Look, it has drama.
(24:32):
It's got smoke machine Again.
Apparently that's the thing forthis year People just twirling
around, there are bits of fabric.
The juries are going to eatthis up.
I think Hot Jesus will probablygo through to the grand final,
or will he?
Because, because we have onemore song.
(24:59):
Night two of the Eurovision 2025semifinals is going to end in
the most spectacular way withFinland.
They are sending Erika Wickmanwith Iho me, iho me, oh my Lord,
you know what?
I'm not even going to say aword because I don't want to
spoil a moment of what you'reabout to see.
(25:20):
It is about strong sexualfemale empowerment of Erica, the
vixen that she is.
You know what.
It's not even the best vocalperformance, but I don't even
care, because she has enough rawcharisma to pull it off.
(25:40):
My Lord, the juries are reallygoing to be besides themselves.
They are going to hate this somuch.
Then they're going to rememberthe milkshake man, then they're
going to remember serving, andthey just won't know what to do
with themselves.
What do they hate the most?
That's going to be the biggestquestion of this year's
(26:05):
Eurovision.
Which one of these amazingnovelty acts do they hate the
most?
Look, the sensible side of mesays that there's no way they
will let Finland go through.
They're going to give itnegative scores, the jury, but
(26:26):
the public aren't going to loveit so much.
All right, so this is what Ipredict.
You know what?
I'm just going to go with myheart on Finland and say they're
going to go through.
If I've got to pick 10 to gothrough, I'm going to call it
Finland, israel, czechia,denmark, georgia, greece, latvia
, montenegro, malta and Austria.
It's getting spicy.
(26:50):
I've actually recorded a shortreaction to all of these videos.
Hopefully, if I can figure outthis editing machine, we'll have
it up soon on YouTube.
I'll provide links on ourInstapay.
Just remember to hydrate, drinkplenty of water and leave a
glass of water, panadol and abanana by the side of your bed
(27:13):
for those day after pick me ups.
Rest easy, my friend, becausewe are going to be back here
very soon and we are going tokick it off to the 2025 DJ Basil
Bobo Eurovision in Switzerland.
See you there.
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