Self-Reliance Feels Safe—But Is It Keeping You Lonely?
You pride yourself on being independent. You don’t need anyone. But if you’re honest, there are moments when self-reliance feels more like loneliness than strength.
That’s Cactus Trust—a trust pattern where keeping people at a distance feels safer than letting them in. It’s why you struggle to ask for help, shut down emotional conversations, and secretly wonder why connection feels so hard.
In this episode, we’re unpacking:
👉 Why trust issues aren’t just about trust—they’re about survival.
👉 How childhood experiences shape your ability to trust.
👉 The 5 hidden ways you might be pushing people away—without realizing it.
👉 What to do if vulnerability makes you anxious (but you still crave connection).
00:00 Introduction to Cactus Trust
01:21 Understanding Cactus Trust
03:18 Tom's Story: A Case Study
06:41 Origins of Cactus Trust
08:35 Recognizing Cactus Trust in Yourself and Others
10:29 Reflection Activity and Next Steps
12:10 Conclusion and Upcoming Episode
So if you’re tired of feeling like relationships require too much or that you have to choose between independence and intimacy—and you’re ready to build trust in a way that feels safe, mutual, and natural—hit play. Let’s dive in.
Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Click here to send me a message.
Love this show? Say thanks with a 5 star rating or leaving a positive review.
Want more help leading a team that gets along—and gets results? Apply for on-air coaching here (spots are limited).
More Resources for You:
- Get The Empowered Feedback Toolkit for easy-to-follow, step-by-step guidance so you can speak clearly and confidently—especially during tough conversations.
- Explore Dr. Annie's Executive Coaching Program.
- Download your free guide: Trauma Survivors Empowerment Guide
Connect with Dr. Annie online: LINKEDIN | INSTAGRAM | WEBSITE
2025 ©Annie Campanile, PhD
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.