19. When Cutting Off Feels Safer Than Speaking Up: Boundaries, Ghosting & the Missing Skill of Repair

Have you ever had a team member suddenly go silent... stop replying to your messages... or even quit without warning?

In high-performing teams, breakdowns in communication can happen fast—and when they do, it’s tempting to either ignore it or push for answers. But what if the silence isn’t defiance... but a sign of Cactus Trust—a trauma-informed response that shuts others out to feel safe?

In this episode, I’m kicking off a powerful 3-part series on boundaries in professional relationships, starting with rigid boundaries—the kind that block progress, stall collaboration, and leave leaders stuck.

You’ll hear a real coaching story about a senior leader navigating a silent, withdrawn team member—and how a simple 3-step tool called the Connection Bridge helped re-open communication without overstepping.

💡 After Listening You'll Learn:

• Why some team members shut down in response to feedback or tension
• A 3-step process to re-open communication gently and clearly
• How to lead with compassion and structure, even when a team member won’t talk
  
  

🛠️ Try This Week’s Practice:

Use The Connection Bridge with a team member who's pulled away:

1. Name what you’re seeing
   
   
2. Offer one structural adjustment
   
   
3. Ask one yes/no question to reopen the door
   
   

🔗 Links + Resources Mentioned:

• Listen to Episode 8 on Cactus Trust
• Listen to Episode 17 When a Doctor built healthier boundaries

✨ Next Week’s Topic:
We’ll unpack loose boundaries—when team members overshare, say yes to everything, or blur the lines. I’ll show you how to stay grounded and set kind, clear expectations.

Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Click here to send me a message.

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More Resources for You:

• Explore Dr. Annie's Executive Coaching Program
• Download your free guide: Executive Presence Starter Kit
• Get The Empowered Feedback Toolkit for easy-to-follow, step-by-step guidance so you can navigate difficult conversations and set healthy boundaries at work.

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