Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Build Your Best Life

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Have you ever caught yourself scrolling through social media, feeling inadequate as you compare your life to others? You're not alone—90% of people do it!

But what if we shifted that focus inward? How much could we grow and achieve?

In this episode, we unpack the potential for improvement that comes when we stop making excuses and start taking full responsibility for our lives.

Together, we’ll explore:

• Why it’s crucial to list your REASONS for changing.
• How to raise your personal "thermostat" beyond lukewarm.
• Strategies for maintaining motivation and clarity in your goals amidst everyday chaos.

Get ready to embrace the power of change and start your journey towards becoming the BEST VERSION of yourself. Tune in and step into a life where YOU are the focus!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Dream Chaser Show.
Our mission is to inspire andimprove the lives of those who
dare to chase their dreams.
Here's your host, eric Heidren.
Welcome back to the DreamChaser Show, where our mission
is to inspire and improve thelives of those who are daring to

(00:27):
chase their dreams.
Today, I've got a pretty bigmessage I want to share with you
, so let's just dive right in.
Have you ever found yourselfspending a ton of time thinking
about and focusing on otherpeople, what they're doing, what
they're not doing, things?
They have something they saidor something you wish you would

(00:47):
have said to them during acertain moment in time.
We have this tendency to focuson other people, and I think the
reason is because we're justdesigned that way.
We're wired to focus on otherpeople.
In fact, scripture tells us tolove thy neighbor as thyself,
and it's an important phrase toremember.
It just goes to show exactlyhow important other people are

(01:10):
in our lives.
One thing we also like to do iswatch people.
It's the reason we likewatching sports or reality TV
shows.
People are just interesting.
I used to watch this showcalled Big Brother, where they
would pluck random strangersfrom around the globe and they'd
stick them into this house fora few months, together with
hidden cameras everywhere.
They'd make them do challengesand prank each other.

(01:32):
They'd get into fights, ofcourse, heck, you could even
tune in 24-7 on a live feed andwatch what snack they're eating
at 2 am.
What actually blew my mind wasthat people did that 2 am.
What actually blew my mind wasthat people did that.
Okay, I went on there once andI checked it out and I'm reading
these comments and there was aton of people just watching them
at 2 am.
So this just proves my point.

(01:54):
People are interesting to watch,but where we need to be careful
is when we start gossipingabout other people's flaws or
comparing ourselves to them andwhat they have versus what we
have.
There are three big reasons whywe compare ourselves to other
people.
The first is that it allows usto criticize other people.
I always go back to easy versushard when it comes to choices

(02:19):
in life.
There's easy way and thenthere's a hard way, and when we
look around at other people,it's so easy to find their
character flaws, isn't it?
It's just easy to gossip.
It's easy to pick out and say,oh, can you believe Jimmy did
this?
Can you believe Susie's doingthat, oh, billy's getting a
divorce, and it's just easy tofind those things.

(02:39):
That's kind of the low hangingfruit versus finding the
positive things about otherpeople can be a lot more
difficult, especially if wedon't like that person.
The second reason we tend tocompare ourselves to other
people is that it justifies thedecisions we've made in our
lives.
Right, we look at other peopleand we say they're screwing up

(03:00):
here and I'm doing well here.
That person's an alcoholic orthat person's homeless.
They must have done somethingto deserve that and I am doing
better.
I've got this house, I've gotthis vehicle, whatever.
We look around and we findreasons to justify what we have,
reasons to justify thedecisions we've made in our
lives.

(03:20):
And then the third is it givesus a pass or an excuse for our
shortcomings.
If we don't have something thatanother person has, let's just
use money.
Money's a pretty easy example.
It's easy to quantify and count.
If somebody has more money thanus, we'll have this tendency to

(03:41):
look at them and say, oh, theymust have got there because of
some ill-gotten means, they musthave stepped on the backs of
other people to get wherethey're at, or they got really
lucky to get where they're at,or they know the right people
right I've had all thesethoughts myself or they don't
have the issues that I have.
They don't have my kids, theydon't have the crappy job that I

(04:04):
have.
They don't have my boss, who'soverwhelming and overpowering
and condescending.
They don't have these stressorsthat I have in my life.
So it gives us this pass, thisexcuse for not being where we
want to be, and I think we'veall been there if we're just
being honest with ourselves.
All been there if we're justbeing honest with ourselves.

(04:27):
But what we need to understandis that our lives get better
when we start focusing onourselves, when we look in the
mirror and finally takeownership and responsibility for
the things that are happeningto us and stop pushing the blame
out to the people around us.
It's time to say I'm done doingthis thing.
I'm done being that person.
I'm done being broke.
I'm done having no time tospend with my kids.

(04:50):
I want to change and no one cando it for me.
I want to get better and intoday's episode, we're going to
focus on your improvement, focuson your skills, focus on your
goals, and when you do all that,watch everything else in your
life get better for you.
So let's get to it All right.

(05:13):
Life gets better as you getbetter.
Your bank account startslooking better, your health
starts looking better, yourfamily starts looking better,
your marriage, your friendships,your enjoyment, your
experiences in life all of thatstuff will get better as you get
better.
And now it is going to takesome time and some serious
effort on your part.

(05:34):
Change is definitely not easy.
Change is simple, but it's noteasy Mainly because you're
fighting against who you are,inherently, who you've become
over the years.
The small decisions, smallhabits, small choices you've
made.
They compound over time andthen they become who you are and
it just becomes what you doevery day.

(05:55):
So you're going to be fightingagainst the current person that
you are, but it doesn't have todictate your future.
I think of it like this it'skind of like a thermostat in a
room.
If you set the temperature tothe thermostat in the room at 70
degrees, well, it's going tomaintain 70 degrees.
Right, it doesn't matter whatthe outside is like.

(06:17):
It doesn't matter if it'sreally hot, 100 degrees outside,
the inside of your house is 70.
If it's very, very cold, theheat kicks on, keeps the house
at 70.
That's kind of how we are aspeople.
You could have the bestopportunities in the world, you
could have a hundred degreeopportunity, but if your skills,
your personality, your habitsdon't match that, you won't be

(06:40):
able to capitalize on thatopportunity.
You'll find a way to maintain a70 degree life.
And it's just on the oppositeend too.
If your skills, your habits,your actions are 100 degrees,
you're constantly working onyourself, you're constantly
improving and focusing on yourgoals.
When that 100 degreeopportunity shows up, you're

(07:01):
already operating at 100 degrees.
You're going to be able to takeit just like that.
But so many people around us,they're just lukewarm.
So I want to get thatthermostat up Now.
If you want to be done with thenegative areas in your life the
anxieties, the doubts, worries,fears, frustrations if you want

(07:24):
more for yourself than youalready have, you must be
willing to become more.
If you want more for yourselfthan you already have, you must
be willing to become more.
This is usually that phrasewhere somebody says oh, eric,
people can't change, peopledon't change.
Well, I'm here to tell youfirsthand, from personal

(07:47):
experience, that people canchange.
This guy on the other end ofthe microphone is one of them.
I struggle with things, justlike everybody else.
It rains on me just like itrains on everybody else.
I'm a sinner.
I've struggled with a lot ofthings.
I've been completely broke.
I've struggled with lust forwomen, anger at people who've

(08:10):
wronged me or who've hurt me.
I've struggled with addictions,alcohol me or who've hurt me.
I've struggled with addictions,alcohol, drugs, all of those
things.
My list, honestly, is prettylong, and maybe your list is
long too.
But you know what?
The good thing is that if youovercome those struggles and
those hurdles and setbacks, youbecome greater than the person

(08:38):
you are right now.
You become greater than theperson you are right now.
You cannot have great successand great flourishment without
first overcoming obstacles.
It's just, it's a weird law oflife, that hurdles and obstacles
get thrown at people and theones that overcome them can
achieve their goals and findfulfillment, but the ones that
can't overcome them, they wallowin these negative emotions that

(09:01):
we just mentioned.
I have this mantra that I say tomyself kind of repetitively
every day.
I can't remember who said it,but it goes like this Day by day
, I'm getting better in everyway.
Day by day, I'm getting betterin every way.
Day by day, I'm getting betterin every way and, like I said,

(09:22):
life has this way of puttingthese obstacles in front of us.
When we want to attainsomething or do something or
become something, adversitystarts showing up, doesn't it
Struggle?
But the beautiful thing is,with every struggle comes some
sort of opportunity.
It's like the seasons around usthere's spring, summer, fall

(09:43):
and winter.
They always go in that order.
They never change right.
So the struggles andadversities are like the winter
time Some are longer than others, some are shorter, some are
hard and brutal, but there'sgoing to be spring.
And if you're planning andpreparing in the wintertime,
during those times of struggleand adversity, and you're trying

(10:06):
to become better, spring isgoing to be your time to take
action.
That's time to plant thoseseeds so that, come fall, you're
reaping the harvest a goodharvest.
You're fall.
You're reaping the harvest Agood harvest.
You're either going to bereaping a harvest or you're
going to be begging for food.
Okay, let's take a little breakfrom the message and do
something fun.
This is the Brain Teasersegment, where we put your

(10:37):
thinking skills to the test andchallenge your mind with puzzles
and riddles.
So grab your thinking cap andlet's go.
Hey everyone, we're going towork on creativity and thinking
outside the box.
Creativity and thinking outsidethe box.

(10:58):
After all, if we want to chaseour dreams, we need the ability
to think clearly, have freshideas and build mental fortitude
for when things get tough.
Here's how this works.
I'm going to tell you a brainteaser and then give you some
time to think about the answer.
I want you to really think too.
Try to find the answer.
If you need to pause theepisode to think about it for a

(11:18):
minute, press play and see ifyou got the answer right.
Remember, we're trying to buildcreativity.
Here's the first question whatgets wetter as it dries?

(11:40):
What gets wetter as it dries?
Here comes the answer A towel.
Next question what is it that?
No matter how little or howmuch you use it, you change it
every month.
What is it that, no matter howlittle or how much you use it,

(12:07):
you change it every month?
Here comes the answer Acalendar.
Here's the answer A calendar.
Here's the last question whathas cities but no houses,
forests but no trees, and waterbut no fish?

(12:29):
What has cities but no houses,forests but no trees, and water
but no fish?

(12:49):
Here comes the answer A map,like a city map.
And that's the end of thequestions.
How'd you do?
Did you get all of them?
Did you get one or two?

(13:10):
Maybe you got none, and that'sokay, because we're going to try
again on the next episode.
Let's get back to the message.
Back to the message.
One of the other beautifulthings is that when you overcome
something, you get to turnaround and help someone else
going through it.
I always think about this.
You're most qualified to helpthe person you used to be.

(13:31):
If you used to struggle withsomething and you've overcome it
, you're able to now understandthat problem and you can
understand that person and youcan also teach them the tools
and strategies that you used toovercome that situation.
So you're most qualified tohelp the person that you used to
be, and from that I can tellyou that people can definitely

(13:52):
change.
The only reason you wouldn't beable to change is because you
don't want it bad enough.
Now you say you want to get inshape, but not bad enough.
You want to be a better parent,a better spouse, give up bad
habits like binge watching TV,video games, drinking, but
you're struggling.
It just means you don't want itbad enough.

(14:13):
Yet struggling, it just meansyou don't want it bad enough.
Yet here's how you finally doit and write this down.
This is very, very important.
If you're listening in the car,pause this, pull over to the
side, write this down.
Come up with a list of reasons.
A list of reasons why you wantto change Could be for your kids

(14:35):
, maybe it's your spouse.
You see the people around uscreate a very powerful reason to
change Very powerful reason.
Or maybe you're just sick andtired of the way things are in
your life.
Disgust can also be a verypowerful reason.
I'm sick and tired of thispiece of crap car that I'm

(14:56):
driving.
It always breaks down.
I'm sick and tired of thishouse that I'm living in.
I'm sick and tired of myneighbors.
I'm sick and tired of nothaving any money.
I'm sick and tired of my lousyboss.
I'm sick and tired of this jobthat's taken up all my life and
not paying me enough.
Being sick and tired ofsomething is also a powerful
reason to.
Maybe you want more happiness.

(15:18):
You want less stress andanxiety.
You want better health.
You want more wealth.
There's a thousand good reasonsto change, but it's important to
write them down.
Write them down.
Keep this list in your pocket.
Make another list that's theexact same.
Put it on the mirror so you cansee it every day.

(15:38):
Remind yourself why you'rechanging, why you're doing
something.
The power of why is soimportant.
You need to know why, and thereason for that is because the
day-to-day grind is going tohappen.
I've talked about this in mylast episodes.
The day-to-day grind is goingto happen.

(15:59):
It's going to take over lastepisodes.
The day-to-day grind is goingto happen.
It's going to take over.
You might be really inspiredright now.
You're like yes, let's go, Iwant to do this, I've got this
thing, I've got this goal.
But then tomorrow comes right.
You didn't get good sleep.
Your kid was up all night.
You got these pressures at work.
You got all these emails yougot to follow up on.
The pressures of life start togrind us down a little bit and

(16:21):
we forget why we're doing whatwe're doing.
And I've been there.
I've been in the type of lifewhere I'm just on autopilot.
I don't even know why I'mgetting up, going to work.
I'm just doing it, I'm justdoing it and life is kind of a
blur.
Next thing I know it's winter.
Next thing I know it's spring.
Next thing I know it's spring.
Next thing I know a year hasgone by and I'm in the same spot

(16:42):
, and I don't want that to beyou.
So write it down, make the list,put it where you can see it and
remind yourself why you want toget better.
And once you start seeing thatlist every day, it's going to
create a repetition in your mind.
It's going to begin to changethe fundamentals and character

(17:02):
traits that you have.
It's going to start building anew person in you.
It's going to start changingthe way you think.
We have to begin to change ourthinking first, which then
changes our actions, which thenchanges the results.
We got to change our thinkingfirst, which changes our actions
and changes our results.
Only then can you really beginto turn your life around.

(17:25):
And it can be done.
You just didn't want it badenough in the past.
So you got to ask yourselfright now how bad do you want it
?
How sick and tired of yourcurrent lifestyle are you?
And maybe you're not sick andtired of everything.
Hopefully that message ain'tcoming across here.
Of course, there's good partsin our lives, but there's stuff

(17:47):
in our lives too that we want tochange, that we want to make
better.
So how sick and tired of thoseaspects are you, and do you know
that there's better out therefor you?
I'm amazed at how many people Italk to that are so stuck in the
past or so stuck on thisnegative thing that's happening
to them.
They completely miss everythingaround them, the opportunities,

(18:08):
the abundance.
They think the economy is goingto crap.
So why even try?
Why even try?
Because the Democrats will takeoffice or the Republicans will
take office, or this ishappening, or it's constantly
bad weather, it's too hot, it'stoo rainy man, the list goes on
and on and on.
It's kind of like looking at adonut.

(18:29):
Some people just see the whole.
They can only focus on thenegatives, the problems, the
issues in their lives, whileother people can see the
positives, the opportunities,the abundance, the issues in
their lives, while other peoplecan see the positives, the
opportunities, the abundance,the good things.

(18:49):
Here's a good example Someone'sfather was an alcoholic, very
abusive, and he's got two kids,one's Peter and one's William.
Peter grows up to be analcoholic, just like his dad.
And when we ask him, peter, whyare you an alcoholic?
Why do you do the things thatyou do?
Well, because my dad was analcoholic.
He drank too much, he beat me,he made my life miserable.

(19:10):
And all that he can do is focuson his past and the bad things
that happened to him.
He sees the hole in the donut.
Then you turn to William andWilliam's a successful guy.
William's doing well, he's gota beautiful family, he's happy,
he's got opportunities aroundhim.
You say, william, why are youthe way that you are?

(19:32):
Why aren't you like yourbrother?
And William says because my dadwas an alcoholic and I never
want to be like that.
I never want to grow up likehim.
I want to do well for the world.
I want to do well for myself,well for my kids.

(19:52):
I want to have abundance andprosperity and happiness and
peace.
I want all of those things andpeace.
I want all of those things.
Peter looked at his past and allhe saw and focused on was the
whole.
But William looked at his pastand saw it as a reason to change
.
As a reason to change.

(20:13):
Remember, if you have a strongenough reason to do something,
you can do anything.
You just need a list of reasonsthat's going to do it for this
episode of the Dream Chasers.
Now I have a quick favor to askyou If you've ever gotten any

(20:37):
value from this podcast and youhaven't already.
Please leave us a review andshare us with one person.
It just takes a couple ofseconds, but it really goes a
long way in helping us createeven better messages and helps
us show the world that whatwe're doing here is actually
valuable.
So, once again, if you've evergotten any value from the show

(21:00):
and you haven't already, pleasetake a moment, write a review
and share the show with oneperson, and I will be eternally
grateful.
Remember, you were created fora purpose.
Let's find it together.