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August 20, 2025 23 mins

What drives someone to destroy everything they love for a digital fantasy? The Grant Amato case provides a chilling answer.

After stumbling across the "Control Alt Desire" documentary, we couldn't wait to share our raw, unfiltered thoughts on this disturbing true crime story that perfectly illustrates how online obsession can turn deadly. Grant Amato, a 29-year-old nursing school dropout, murdered his entire family after stealing $200,000 from them in just six months – all to fund his addiction to a Bulgarian cam model who knew him only as "Deus Lights," his fabricated online persona.

Have you noticed warning signs of unhealthy online obsession in someone you know? Let us know your thoughts, and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss Friday's episode where we'll reveal the surprising connections to a recent case that's still developing.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!

Ready to explore more shocking true crime cases with us? Subscribe to Drink About Something for new episodes every Friday, and visit drinkaboutsomething.site with links to see all our content, including visual evidence from the cases we cover.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Jesse.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Hello Lindsay.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
What are you having to drink right now?

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Me yeah, jim Jones and Moonshine.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
For our Jim Jones episode we did buy a box of
Flavor Aid.
I'm not going to put my name onthat one, so now it is
officially called the Jim Jones.
And what did you say?
Vodka.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Moonshine, moonshine.
I made my own liquor Jim.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Jones and shine Jim Jones.
And shine Jim, shine Jim, shineLet it shine, let it shine, let
it shine.
Well, this is our raw,unfiltered, uncut, unedited
recap.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and we're fitting a fire off.
We're fitting to do this.
We are fixing to recap.
Oh wait, a minute, wrong button.
Hold on, I hit the wrong button.
Oh, here it goes.
I guess I'm not editing.
Either way, it's party.
Huh, editing either way, it'sparty.

(01:27):
I mean, I'm really thinking.
Maybe I had a little bit toomuch shine before we started
shining already.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Well, this is called Drunk About Something Recap.
So I'm drinking a BlackberryWhite Claw.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
You are.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
And so Jesse, recapping on Grant Amato.
What did you think of thatstory?

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Me myself and I really thought that that was
some fucked up shit, lindsay.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Well, yes, it was, but elaborate.
What were your other thoughts?
Well, yes, it was, butelaborate.
What were your other thoughts?
So I did make Jesse watch theControl Alt Desire documentary.
It's a three episodedocumentary.
And what did you think aboutthat, sir?
I'm trying to get the gearsrolling here.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
I'm trying to get the gears rolling, get the gears
rolling, heard Rolling, becauseI'm like I'm in Popcorn Sutton
over here right now.
I got my whole lacra going, myhomemade lacra.
No, that's the shine that youmade, yeah, okay.
So yeah, it is horribly atragic story of somebody that

(02:40):
feeds into a kid that neverdecided to fully grow up and
accept his own responsibilitiesAt all and then he took
advantage of everybody else anddidn't care who he's bringing
down with it because of hisaddiction over a woman that just
was doing her job, I guess.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Well see, I think it started with the fact that, okay
so, grant nor Cody?
Okay, they were very close, butthey were two very different
individuals.
They were Grant nor Cody.
Okay, they were very close, butthey were two very different
individuals.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
They were.
They were completely differentindividuals.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
But Grant was very codependent and he needed Cody
to keep him in the rightdirection and when that failed
he split off.
But I think it all started withokay.
So in our house, when you turn16, just like Jesse and I did

(03:30):
you get a job which we had jobsyounger than that, but it's not
allowed anymore.
But you get a job and that'swhen you learn to pay for your
own cell phone bill and then yousave money for a car.
And then you save money for acar and and then at that point,
like like two out of four of myboys have, you know, they got
their jobs, they got theirphones, they got their car car

(03:52):
payment insurance, they pay forthat.
And then they also start buyingtheir own food because they got
that money in their hand andthey want to go.
They want to go get Taco Bellthey're earning their way.
They want to door dash a pizzaat 11 o'clock.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
On the way to the river today, I pointed out to a
field and said I used to picktobacco over there when I was 14
.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
And I started babysitting at 13.
And my parents required me tobuy my own little extra
toiletries that I wanted formyself.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
Like my bathroom, body works.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, that's when the addiction started.
It was 13.
Still going Almost 43.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Your addiction.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
My addiction.
Yes, it wasn't a cam modelthere.
No, if I ain't got the moneyfor it, I don't buy it.
But I always have the money forit, so I always buy it.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
So around that time I was starting to get addicted to
music and I need guitars, Ineed to create a band, I want to
play, I want to make music, buteven younger than that, we
started having them do chores inthe house.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
We started having them take out the trash, wash
the dishes.
They had a chore wheel.
One would sweep the floors, onewould load the dishwasher.
My oldest, without even beingprompted, would vacuum every
single day.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
That's the independence we're trying to
teach our human beings in ourhouse, and guess what?

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Grant and Cody were not made to do those type of
things.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
No.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Where Cody was a very responsible human being, grant
was not.
And you have to lay down afoundation of and I'm not saying
because I still have a childthat does not take
responsibility and is but, forthe most part, um we've done the
best we could.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, they're gonna be who they are.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
You know that child would rather run away from home
than wash a dish and that's whatwe dealt with in his teenage
years.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Literally did that one time More than once.
Literally left.
I mean literally.
We had Amber Alert over washthe dishes and clean up the
house.
Amber Alert like six hourslater, like this kid's
completely gone, trying to leavethe county.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Wow Did leave the county.
Over doing some home chores.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
Yes, some home chores and because he had gotten in
trouble at school that day.
So I was like, okay, you betterstart cleaning up the house,
like I was gone, like I wasgetting off work.
I was going, I was.
It was right before ouryoungest son's birthday.
I was at the Dollar Treegetting some party supplies and

(06:27):
I get a call that my secondchild has gotten in trouble in
school.
So I called him on my oldestphone and said hey, if you, if
you want to try to redeemyourself from this trouble
you've got into, you betterstart cleaning the house and
I'll be home soon.
Try to redeem yourself fromthis trouble you've got into.
You better start cleaning thehouse and I'll be home soon.
He literally took off on mythird child's bike and left the

(06:50):
county.
Yeah, the 17 mile Walk ride,yeah, yeah, like ditch the bike
in the woods.
I mean it was a whole thing, itwas a mess.
It was a mess and that was.
That is how some kids are.
But at the same time, for therest of the family and even him,

(07:14):
you know that was his reactionto responsibility and chores.
But for the rest of them, ittaught them responsibility.
The others are not dependent onus for our money.
They don't have access to ourmoney.
They help out in the house andeven with a 20-year-old you

(07:34):
still got to do a littlereminder here and there.
Hey, it's Wednesday, I got totake out the trash.
It's Friday, you got to cleanyour bathroom.
Reminder here and there.
Hey, it's Wednesday, I got totake out the trash.
You know it's Friday, you gotto clean your bathroom.
We have structure, you knowit's good to have structure.
And we do the same shit everyweek.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
So in reflection to the Amato family, it was just
like there was no structure,everybody in the whole family.
I think mommy had a lot to dowith that.
You know, I think the momreally had a lot to do with it
and no victim blaming here, butwe're not, because she was a
victim and it's horrible, itreally is horrible, very
horrible.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
And our analysis was and this dude has no remorse, I
mean you watch the documentary.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
He doesn't care he has no remorse.
He needed help years ago, inhis teens.
You could tell.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
You could tell this kid really needed him and I call
him kid, he's 40 now probablyright.
Let's see, hold on.
He was born in the 80s, so he'sclose to our age, yeah yeah, so
, but like watching the, the,the documentary I think he's
exactly your age.
He was an 81 baby.
Yeah, just he had this blahkind of persona and you can tell
.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
He's kind of in his head all the time and he's
trying to be manipulative rightin front of you.
You can tell by his facialexpressions how he's talking,
his mannerisms, everything hewas born in 89.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
He's 36.
36, yeah, well, yeah, stillclose enough, I think, jody.
Jody arias was your age, that'swhy that was right, she was
well.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
I mean yeah, but yeah , he had a.
He has a 43 year old haircut.
So I mean, I'm just saying hewas he was balding in his 20s.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
He was 29 when the tragedy happened and he was, his
receding hairline was back here, back back here in.
Yeah, we're not making fun ofhis genetics, whatever but still
that sucks.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
It sucks, but just his personality and everything
was really just drawn back.
Just had this blah attitudeabout his mannerisms and the way
he talked.
You could tell he was lookingat you and trying to manipulate
you right in front of you.
You could tell it, though itwas an easy call for me.
Needed help, probably in histeens.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Well, like he even said it, and I mean he even said
, you know, for 27 years hedidn't get in trouble and he did
the right thing.
And then, when he first gotkicked out of his nurse, nurse,
ethnicist program, that was whenit was a downward spiral.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Because he was cut off from what he literally calls
his lifeline.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
I think a mortician would have been better for him,
because he had that kind ofpersona.
You know, wouldn't it?
Did you see mortician typepersona?

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Like he should have just locked himself in a
basement, and then like you know, if he'd have had more?
Of an upbeat personality likethe twitching the game thing
gaming thing might have worked.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, because I mean you can see it there like, hey
guys, how's it going right?
he's playing his video game andhe's just talking like this
monotone, just blah, you're notgonna get a lot of followers,
sorry.
And then latch on to a femalein bulgaria, right, and just be
like I'm completely infatuatedand in love with you and I'm
gonna spend every dollar that Ican take and steal and whatever
just to make you like me.

(10:40):
That's basically what it was.
So, yeah, using our ownfamilies, everything that's
going on with us and our familyin contrast to what everything
was going on in their family.
Right, it's two differentworlds.
I mean, we have structure andwe're trying to make them be
accountable.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
And sometimes, like I said, it still doesn't work if
that kid doesn't take that.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah, and we know which ones to look out for.
Right, we have a wayward kidtoo, so we know what to look out
for and, as far as listeners go, also look out for that.
We're trying to spread thecommon knowledge of just human
nature, and some people justdon't get off that nest the
right way.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
And it sucks because, especially when you I mean like
we did every outlet that wecould find in our town, in our
County that would have some help.
But like, even if I mean evenGrant's family took him to
therapy but he didn'tparticipate.
And I related to that becauseI've taken mine to therapy and

(11:48):
they didn't participate, youknow.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, well, we also had, you know, like their
biological father step in andkind of mess up some certain
things that we had set up somany things and that cost us a
lot of money.
You know me and yourrelationship had a lot of strain
on that yes.
You know, or strain because ofit.
And it's just, we're trying,we're doing the best we can,
because we can't do anythingelse but physically emotionally

(12:17):
do anything else, but physicallyemotionally we were just spent,
you know, and we kept onstriving for that greatness and
that's all you can do as aparent.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
And I just, I really just um, when you look at it as
somebody who does not have aproblem until they're 27, like
what do you do, you know?
What can you?
I mean because because they'rea grown ass person.
And what was crazy was in thedocumentary like they say that
he ran away, you know, afterthey got back from Japan.
I'm like you don't run awaywhen you're 27.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
You just leave the house.
Don't live at your house whenyou're 27.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Red flag there, I mean, but I mean Cody did and
Cody was successful.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
There was that he was stacking up money and they
probably had their own space.
That was a nice house, verynice house.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
You could tell his parents worked very hard to
afford.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
I get that to an extent that's twice the size of
what we live in.
Yeah, I get that to an extent.
If you have the means to andyou want to keep your family
close.
That's fine, I understand that.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
Well, what their goal was was they wanted to stay in
that home after their parentsmoved to Tennessee.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
That was their plan by that time he was already
about $215,000 that he hadstolen from his family.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
No, no, no, that was the plan before all that started
.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yes, that was the plan.
Like him and Cody had alreadyplanned on taking over that home
.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
I'm just saying when he ran away, the mortgage was
Whenever he did the runawaything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like,yeah, he was done.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah, when he did the runaway he had done gang things
, but I mean the mortgage onthat home was probably pretty
much paid off and you know Chadand Margaret had been paying for
this house in Tennessee.

Speaker 2 (13:48):
They're reaching for retirement.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, retirement, yeah, that was where they were
going to move.
Which was gone and Cody wantedto stay in Florida.
Do their thing together.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
And Grant messed all of that up.
Yeah, he stole all theretirement I mean.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Chad had to remortgage the house.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
And he started dabbling in his brother's money
too, and he's just ruiningeverybody's life.
And then took everybody's life.
What?

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Oh, and I did want to say so.
It was my mistake.
I said that the friend that hadwent with them on their trip to
Japan's name was Oliver.
His name was Jericho.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
I did want to correct that.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yes.
So he stole from Margaret Chad,cody Jericho and Aunt Donna and
Uncle Troy.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, that's right, and had taken out, you know, a
60 something thousand dollarloan against the mortgage?

Speaker 2 (14:41):
What the fuck.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
That's so much money just to give this girl who, by
the way, they did find and talkto briefly.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
She didn't want anything to do with it.
You know she really didn't.
She was like I don't wantanything to do with it and she
was just like done, and that wasthe way I would be.
I wouldn't.
I would be like I'm just tryingto make money and do my job,
like it really ruined her lifetoo Well that's what she said.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
She said you know, I mean, and that's you.
So she said that it caused hera lot of stress, it caused her a
lot of grief, it ruined herwhole little thing there and she
had to go to therapy.
But my guess is probably allthe other men in that community
heard about because Grant didwrite them a letter Then they

(15:27):
probably heard about what he didto his family and then that
took away all of her community.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
That was paying for her life.
They all dipped out.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
They all dipped out.
Yeah, they were just like done,and it wasn't any fault of hers
, you know what was reallystrange to me.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Like okay, she didn't really send her physical
address, her full physicaladdress, right but they're
trying to search and find Sylvieover there in Bulgaria and she
was like a project-looking typebuilding they narrowed it down
to a building.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
Well, Sophie, where they lived, it's a huge
metropolis.
I mean Sophie was huge.
You've seen the pictures.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was just stacked uphuge buildings.
But if you're making that muchmoney, she should have had her a
cool-ass villa.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
I mean she got $200,000 from Grant alone.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Alone money.
She should have had her a coolass villa.
You know, 200 grand from grantalone alone.
And then there's a stack ofdudes in there.
If they're, if they're justshucking just a grand a piece, I
mean she's, she's making somemoney.
It's insane.
I mean like I said she had.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
I mean, like you saw in the documentary they show
where there was like a littlecompetition going where grant
would be the highest, thehighest tipper.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Oh yeah, and she'd play that game.
That was her job, you know.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
She was probably raking in $100,000 a week doing
that.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Well you have.
So I mean, yeah, because that200 grand was in the six-month
fucking period.
Six-month period, that 200grand.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
I could not fathom that when we were actually doing
the podcast on that, I couldn'teven fathom that that was only

(17:03):
see, I'm not.
I'm thinking that this is yearsbecause of his age and all this
stuff.
No, six months, six fuckingmonths, right two, about 260,
260 000 in six months ruinedeverybody's life and just
murdered his fucking family.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
It's insane, because they were like, no, you're gonna
stop this and they you know.
And then chad and and cody hadit had emailed her and told her
the truth.
They're like deus lights isbullshit.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
Grant is a a loser sitting at home in in the
bedroom playing games all dayand talking to you, the deus
light fake persona that he hadmade.
It wasn't him at all, but hefelt good about himself.
Hey, but guess what?

Speaker 1 (17:37):
grant continued while he was in prison.
Yeah, he found another onlinepersona um that went by kitty
correct.
That was what.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah he hooked up with her and then had this whole
like she was on the documentary, but she was.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
I mean they like hide her identity completely and she
knew.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
She knew it was fake, she, she knew that, like this
is just him.
You know we're gonna enjoy eachother, we're gonna have our
conversations, but this isn'treal.
But he was infatuated with herbecause?

Speaker 1 (18:07):
because she did tell her parents that she was in a
relationship with a man in jailfrom murdering his family, yeah,
and they, because he said tothe filmmaker um his name is
hold on, real quick, that wasdoing yeah, archdeacon that.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, and he's doing in in jail calls with a burner
phone or a butt phone, whatevergot smuggled in Burner butt
phone, his butt burning phone.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
His butt burning phone.
If you put a phone in your butt, it's going to be burning.
Yeah, preparation H phone andthen, he's doing like video
calls, like different phones andit just kept popping in, so he
has some pull in prison, and weare going to talk more about
that in our episode on Friday.

(18:56):
Yeah, I apologize.
It is storming here in Florida.
Well, it's coming like thethunder is rolling.
It is, I love it and I want totake a nap.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
Can I take a nap in the middle?
Of the recap, napping to recap,come on, but like everything
that he was doing just was stillgoing.
How do you, how do you?
He's like, he's enabled, he'sfound a way.
He's still found a way inprison after being tried, after

(19:26):
serving three life sentencesafter his sentence he still
latched back onto the same shit,and then women came to him.
That's what I don't understand.
How do women come to that dramaand want to try to take that?

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Were they trying to fix it, and we're going to talk
about that in the episode onFriday.
Oh yeah, yeah, that's going tobe a topic, huge cliffhanger.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
Huge cliffhanger.
Lindsay left us with a hugecliffhanger, so you guys got to
check that out and listen.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
I'm telling y'all right now I had no idea about
that cliffhanger.
Like I said, I heard this caseseveral years ago.
It happened in 2019.
I heard about it in about 2020,2021.
I had no idea.
While I was researching thatcase to talk about that, that
was going to pop up.
I had no idea that I was goingto be covering the person that

(20:16):
I'm covering on Friday till lastweek.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
I had zero.
That was not on my agenda.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
So as far as podcasts , it was not on my agenda at all
.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
I discovered that while researching Right, that's
what I'm saying Like, as far aspodcasters go and true crime and
everything, we're fuckingforefronting this one, I know,
which is amazing, so check thatout this Friday there's only one
other podcaster that has anycontent on that one.
Wow yeah, we're not leading it.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
There's some YouTubers, but as far as like
audio podcast goes, there's onlyone other person, but there is
a lot of law and crime docs andcoverage on what we're going to
talk about on Friday.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Well, that's going to be so cool.
I can't wait.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
It is going to be a short one because it is recent,
so there hasn't been adocumentary about it.
There hasn't been.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
We can't drag up all the juice.

Speaker 1 (21:10):
Right, we can't drag up all the juice just yet.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
We're just gathering some moisture, yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
We're gathering the moisture and we're gathering the
facts that are out there as of2025.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
So I feel like after we do this, when this Friday
there's going to be some stufflater on, oh yeah, also.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
We'll probably revisit in a couple years
actually.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
It takes couple years .
Actually, it takes a coupleyears.
We'll see yeah, we'll see whatpops out on that one because
this documentary about grantjust came out in 24, so wow,
yeah, 23 or 24 recent what I sayrecent reese's pieces.
Reese's pieces recent.
That's what I said.
That's cool like I'm excitedI'm so excited yes, yes, yes,
lindsay, yes.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
So, yeah, okay, so that we're going to wrap up our
recap so we can get started onour next episode.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
And so this is Wednesday.
Happy hump day.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
We love y'all.
Please keep listening.
Follow us.
Lindsay Stambaugh JesseStambaugh.
Follow us on Drink AboutSomething.
That site.
Follow us Lindsay StambaughJesse Stambaugh.
Follow us onDrinkAboutSomethingsite.
Keep listening, Send usmessages, Give us feedback.
We are definitely.
We look forward to any positiveor yeah, feedback positive or
negative, Let us know we'restill growing.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
And check out the bands.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Goodness gracious, definitely.
Check out the bands, follow allof them.
Check out the bands.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
Yes, make you a playlist.
It's all about the bands.

Speaker 1 (22:34):
It's all about the bands.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's all about the bands and the nookie and the cam
models, yes, and the storiesand the Okay.
It might be about the alcohol,okay, but either way.
Either way, we'll see you guysthis Friday.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
Keep following.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Keep on rocking.
Keep on rocking in a free world, and we love you so much.
Bye.
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The Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club

The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!

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