July 7, 2025 • 36 mins
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Dina LaFargue Augustin (00:00):
Most of us grow up with hope and desires
.
No matter our environments, Itend to believe that each human
is wired with the desire to livea good life, to live our best
life.
We grow and believe that ourdecisions are going to be just
right and lead us down theyellow brick road of success.
(00:21):
And then, kaboom, stuff happens.
Systems fail, trauma andtragedy strikes when we least
expect it.
Something or somebody screwedit all up.
Now what?
Well, that, now what depends.
(00:42):
But before I answer the nowwhat?
Let me go back to where we allget started, and that is in one
or maybe even two places.
The one place for sure, thatmost of us know about, is in our
mother's womb.
The other is in the spirit,where God knew us first.
(01:06):
Now, don't let me shock you,that's place two.
Don't let me surprise you,especially my non-believers.
It's okay, I will explain a bitlater.
First, I will focus on how mostof us know how we come to be
physical, sentient beings.
We were born and in the processof being born we are under
(01:31):
construction.
The definition of constructionis the process by which
something is built for aspecific purpose.
To construct means to puttogether the components of a
structure according to detailedplans that usually require a
blueprint.
That blueprint includesspecific designs and
(01:53):
measurements and materials forthe creation and construction
towards a final desired outcome.
Now, remember I said, theprocess by which something is
built for a specific purpose.
The key word purpose.
(02:14):
Now, when it comes to humans,our blueprints are in our DNA.
DNA in humans includesinstructions for building and
maintaining the body, dictatingtraits like eye color, height
and even susceptibility tocertain health issues.
It does this by providinginstructions for creating
(02:38):
proteins which are essential forvarious bodily functions, and
while over 99% of DNA is thesame for all humans, the
remaining 1% is responsible forthe unique characteristics that
(03:01):
make each individual different.
Only 1%.
Now, when a mother is pregnant,we know doctors and family
members, especially the parents,are praying for a healthy baby.
We think of the physicality, ofthe baby's health in the womb.
Will the baby be born withperfectly formed limbs and with
a fully developed heart, andwithout any organ deficiencies,
(03:22):
maladies or diseases?
Is the baby going to be a boyor a girl?
And we wonder who they're goingto look like.
Are they going to be born baldor with thick hair or just a few
curling, swirling, wisp aroundtheir beautiful little faces.
Will they be freckled, pale,dark or light?
(03:42):
Will they be pudgy, lanky orbuilt like football players or
gymnasts?
Will they be five-pounders ornine-pounders?
Yes, these are all the thingswe wonder about, even if they're
going to be fussy, easysleepers, or smiley or hard to
satisfy.
Yes, the DNA has a factor inpersonality traits too and we
(04:07):
know that because each child hasdifferent preferences.
Scientists agree that DNAsignificantly impacts
personality by influencingtemperament and predisposing
individuals to certain traitsand behaviors.
While DNA doesn't determinepersonality in a deterministic
(04:28):
way, it does lay the groundworkby affecting biological
processes and brain development,which in turn, influence how a
person interacts with theirenvironment.
So there is a ton of content inthe human blueprint.
Besides the physical, there isthe personality, wrapped in the
(04:50):
soul, which contains free willand emotions.
And, yes, there is a spiritwaiting to come alive.
Surprised?
The spirit is often ignored andconsidered to be a part of the
soul or interchangeably referredto as one's soul, but many
(05:15):
faith systems definitely speakto the spirit being a separate
part, an essential part of thehuman being.
Nevertheless, we grow.
We grow up black or white,yellow, red or brown and, yes,
each color has a code for life.
(05:35):
In that code, we grow with aspecific culture, a specific
language or languages, andtastes; likes and dislikes,
expectations and opportunities.
I believe most of us only thinkof ourselves as being formed in
our mother's womb.
(05:55):
Then we pop out, are raised byone or two parents, we grow to
adulthood and then decide howwe're going to live our lives
and fulfill our dreams anddesires.
At some point, though, weapproach the pinnacle of our
human construction, whichactually, to me, never truly
reaches completion until we arewell into our senior years.
(06:17):
And, I agree with the famedpsychologist, Eric Erickson, who
states that there are many keystages to life, each marked by
an internal conflict we all mustwork through.
One of those critical stages isdeemed, "identity versus role-
confusion, and it describes theprocess of forming a sense of
(06:41):
self.
His position goes on to statethat this stage typically begins
in adolescence when we startseparating from our caregivers
and asking big questions like,'who am I really'?
But it doesn't stop there.
Throughout adulthood, as ourrelationships, environments, and
(07:02):
goals change, our identitycontinues to evolve.
Erickson's work reminds us thatquestioning who we are isn't a
sign that something's wrong.
No, it's a sign we're growing.
With his theory in mind, Itruly concur that in that time
we are truly vulnerable.
(07:24):
Yes, we are vulnerable.
We are vulnerable in each stageof life.
The process of reconstructionand recalibration can make us
vulnerable to our ownself-destruction if we're not
careful, if we lack a key factor, which I will review shortly.
(07:45):
First, I'll discuss the processof reconstruction.
Reconstruction refers to therebuilding, renovation or repair
of a structure with the intentto redesign for better living.
It is a modification forimprovements.
We can initiate this process onour own, by self-initiative, or
(08:09):
someone or something else cancause it.
Whatever or whoever, it must bea productive, constructive
response.
It's required for success.
When we recalibrate our livesfor reconstruction, we might do
that by changing employers,changing careers completely,
(08:33):
changing partners or spouses, bychanging residences or
relocating to another town orcountry altogether, and the list
goes on.
We do all of that with theexpectation that everything will
work out for the better.
Next, we have self-destruction,which can occur for the same
(08:58):
reasons.
We recalibrate and reconstructbecause something in our life
was not enough, something wentwrong, and instead of positively
recalibrating andreconstructing, we seek an
escape, an altered state perhaps.
We try to numb ourselves andfill ourselves with something
(09:24):
that will satisfy the pain, butall of them are short-term
responses and band-aids to adeeper problem.
Self-destruction is formallydefined as, "a person deciding
to engage in behavior that islikely to make them fail or
(09:47):
cause them to be harmed, do harm, kill or be killed.
Now that might sound verydramatic and extreme, but it is
a very pressing reality and,again, mind you, that is a
formal definition.
So, whether you initiate yourreconstruction or it is forced
(10:08):
upon you, or whether you arebent on self-destructive
behavior by repeatedlyparticipating in vices that
destroy your mental health,physical, emotional, relational
or financial health, we are allat risk.
And, yes, there's a big unless.
(10:28):
Do I sound fatalistic?
Maybe, but there is a reasonand I will share statistics with
you to support my position.
Statistics show that asignificant number of people
experience feelings related tobeing lost and lacking a strong
sense of identity, though it'soften discussed in the context
(10:52):
of loneliness and a crisis ofbelonging, Harvard and other
research studies find thatrelationships and identity
impact healthy living.
There is a lack of meaningfulrelationships.
Studies show that approximatelytwo in five Americans feel that
their relationships are notmeaningful.
(11:15):
The American PsychologicalAssociation's Dictionary of
Psychology defines an identitycrisis, "'as a period of
uncertainty and confusion inwhich a person's sense of
identity becomes insecure, oftentriggered by a change in their
expected role or direction inlife'.
During this identity crisis, aperson's sense of self becomes
(11:41):
insecure and unstable.
They experience confusion aboutwho they are and may question
long-held beliefs and theirpurpose in life.
Their mental health will suffer.
An identity crisis also oftenoccurs when a person experiences
(12:01):
a significant life event alife-altering illness, the loss
of a family member or friend, orjob layoffs.
Even surprisingly positive lifeevents like a marriage, the
birth of a child or promotioncan cause an identity
disturbance.
But, like Erickson and otherpsychologists state, any crisis
(12:24):
can lead to self-destructivebehavior, especially when one
lacks a strong sense of self andbeing.
Now statistics also speak ofincreased addictions in our
society - increased homicide andsuicide rates post-COVID.
As of 2023, approximately 59million people ages 12 and older
(12:49):
- 12 and older, have usedillegal drugs or misused
prescription drugs within thepast year.
About 25% of illegal drug usershave a drug disorder.
Tobacco and nicotine, toinclude vaping, have been
(13:11):
highest among young adults ages18 to 25.
Studies go on to show thatapproximately 28 million
Americans ages 12 and over havean alcohol use disorder.
The age adjusted suicide ratein the US has generally
increased in the past decade.
(13:32):
In 2022 and beyond, the ageadjusted suicide rate was 14.2%
per 100,000.
I'm sorry, 14.2 per 100,000.
It reflects an increase from10.4 per 100,000 in the year
2000.
So suicides consistentlyoutnumber homicides in the US
(13:56):
from 2011 to 2020.
So we see by these statisticsthat rates of drug abuse, drug
addictions, suicide rates.
and even homicide rates haveincreased.
In 2020 and 2021, there was a30% jump in homicides.
(14:19):
It was a very large increasecompared to the 20th century.
Now, that's according to theCouncil on Criminal Justice.
So I ask why, why, why?
Why?
The reason and the answer tothe why might lie in what
(14:40):
happened or what should havehappened or what didn't happen.
Did the person fail torecalibrate properly or
successfully when things wentsouth?
Did the reconstruction phasenever take place or move
successfully from point A topoint B with the goal of
self-actualization in mind?
(15:00):
Remember, at the beginning ofthe podcast, I stated that we
were all vulnerable to theprocess of reconstruction and
vulnerable to our ownself-destruction - If we aren't
equipped.
We must be equipped.
I also stated that we have aspirit and, mind you, most of us
(15:25):
know us to be made of a body,which is our flesh, and a soul,
which includes our cognitiveabilities, our emotions, our
thought life, our personalities.
But there is a spirit man thatlies beneath, and I believe our
(15:46):
failure to overcome thedrive-bys, the traumas, and the
tragedies that provoke a needfor reconstruction periods that
can lead to our self-destructionand a lack of developing a
strong sense of identity andunderstanding our roles or sense
of purpose all break downbecause we have failed to
(16:09):
nurture our spirit man.
We fail to recognize our trueidentities.
One might ask what does ourspirit man have to do with
anything?
That sounds so fictional?
"I'm not spiritual, I'm not aspiritual person, one might say.
Am I not complete with my bodyand soul?
How does this even relate to mytrue identity and to me moving
(16:32):
successfully in life?
Okay, I'll answer all of thosequestions.
First, what is the spirit?
Many philosophers, theologians,psychologists and sociologists
speculate and define what thespirit is.
Eternal or transcendent, theymight say.
(16:53):
In some perspectives, the humanspirit is seen as having a
connection to a higher power oras something that continues to
exist after death.
Besides the soul, the spiritcan be defined as the most inner
part of the self that, withoutnurturing, remains dead or
inactive.
(17:13):
Many religions and spiritualtraditions view the human spirit
as a divine element or a sparkof the divine that resides
within each human being.
It connects humans to thedivine, to the realm of the
spirit, to a higherconsciousness.
(17:34):
And why?
Well, for the purpose of growthand higher development.
You can look at Hinduism andBuddhism and other faith systems
that discuss developing thatother part of the self that must
connect with the spirit realmto find peace and a higher level
(17:55):
of intellect, a higher abilityto live successfully, to
understand and comprehend morethan what we see.
A common theme in religion isoften described as a pathway for
personal growth andtransformation.
Many religions offer paths topersonal growth, enlightenment
(18:17):
or spiritual transformation.
Practices like chanting,meditation, yoga, prayer and
acts of service are often seenas ways to cultivate positive
qualities and connect us with ahigher power or universal truth.
(18:37):
Because I'm a Christian, a truebeliever in Jesus Christ as my
Savior, my understanding andunwavering belief is that the
spirit in us is of God.
Yes, that we do have a spiritthat is separate from our soul.
Here is where I address the"now what, the unless for
(19:00):
success, the unless that Imentioned at the beginning of
the podcast; the "why we mightbe vulnerable after the tragedy
and the trauma strike, the whatto do's and the how to navigate
the traumatic events.
My secret weapon lies in myspirit- man.
(19:21):
Our secret weapon lies in ourspirit.
The human spirit can be definedas the incorporeal part of man.
The Bible says the human spiritis the very breath of the
Almighty God.
In Genesis 2, verse 27,.
(19:45):
It states," so God createdmankind in his own image.
In the image of God, he createdthem male and female.
He created them.
" Now.
God is a spirit and the maleand female are spirits.
They existed before the fleshwas born.
(20:07):
Now, I suggest reading Genesischapter 1 and 2 and 3 to
understand this in more depthand take your time with it.
"Then the Lord God formed a manfrom the dust of the ground and
breathed into his nostrils thebreath of life, and the man
became a living being.
(20:28):
Hence, God blew his spirit intous and that breath of life made
us living souls.
Now, we are spirit and webecome souls inside the flesh.
In Genesis, chapter 8, I'm sorry, chapter 2, verse 28, it says,
(20:53):
"God blessed them and said tothem 'be fruitful and increase
in number, fill the earth andsubdue it, rule over the fish in
the sea and the birds in thesky and over every living
creature that moves on theground'.
" Both male and female weregiven that command and the
(21:18):
responsibility to rule.
Again, we are flesh; we aresouls, where our will, emotions,
and intellect exist; and we arespirits where we connect with
God, our creator and maker.
In essence, I have answeredboth questions.
Who are we and why are we?
We are spirit beings with adivine purpose, with a soul
(21:45):
connection and human bodies.
We have a God identity and aGod given purpose.
We have authority.
We have territory.
We have responsibility andthat's to live out God's will.
In 2 Timothy 1, verse 7, itsays, " God gave us a spirit not
(22:13):
of fear, but of power and loveand self-control.
Some versions read, " and Goddid not create us with a spirit
of fear, but of love, power anda sound mind.
Proof.
We are made of a spirit, aspirit endowed with power that
(22:35):
establishes us.
1st Thessalonians 5, verse 23reads, " and now may the God of
peace himself sanctify youcompletely and may your whole
spirit, soul, and body be keptblameless at the coming of your
(22:56):
Lord Jesus Christ".
In Genesis, when Adam and Evefell from grace, our spirit men
literally died.
Death entered in and, again, Iwould suggest everyone read
Genesis chapter 1, 2, and 3 fordeeper understanding.
(23:19):
The authority and power thatwas granted to Adam and Eve on
earth was then transferred to afallen spirit or angel known as
Lucifer or Satan.
When Jesus, the Word of God,became flesh, he became the life
of men.
He transferred the authorityback to mankind by living
(23:42):
triumphantly over sin.
He did not succumb totemptation or the deception of
Satan or any tragedies thattried to destroy him.
He voluntarily gave his lifethat we might have life.
He proved that he was willingto die to self and live for God.
He knew his purpose, he knewhis identity.
(24:04):
He did what Adam and Eve failedto do.
Jesus developed an intenselyintimate relationship with
Father God in prayer.
In essence, our victories inlife and over the periods of
reconstruction and recalibrationcome through having an intimate
knowledge and relationship withGod, with Jesus Christ.
(24:28):
Self-destruction can totally beavoided.
Hebrews, chapter 4, verse 12,supports this.
It says, "The Word of God isliving and powerful.
(24:56):
Scripture makes the cleardistinction between the soul and
spirit, revealing the need forgrowth of one's soul and the
growth of one's spirit.
We may stumble and fall, we mayget hit hard with trauma and
tragedy, but the word of Godsays we are overcomers, because
(25:20):
he died for every sin and everytragedies.
He died for our authority andhe died for that transfer of
power to come back to us ashumans.
So tragedy and heartache maycome because we live in a fallen
world where the enemy of oursoul seeks to kill, steal and
destroy us by any means possible.
(25:41):
But we are victorious when welink up and when we grow up.
If we don't, we are vulnerableto the devices of the enemy of
our soul.
We will get swallowed up anddevoured.
And if we don't know better, ifwe don't have that strength, if
(26:05):
we don't have that maturity,that spiritual maturity, that
soulish maturity, thatconnection between the two, we
just might turn to addictionsand self-destructive behavior,
big and small.
We have to feed our spiritswith truth and with power.
(26:26):
Our spirits are dead withoutChrist.
But by the word of God, by theacceptance of Christ Jesus as
our Savior, our spirit men arereborn.
We are no longer walking dead.
It is because we lackrelationship with our creator
that we are lost, that we are atrisk, that we are literally
(26:50):
doomed and in constant danger ofbeing overcome to the point of
eternal damnation.
I am not exaggerating.
We fail to self-actualizebecause we don't actually know
who we are, who we belong to,what we're made of and why we
are made.
Even millionaires are failing.
(27:11):
You might say, " Are youkidding me?
They have everything, they canbuy everything, they can buy
pleasure, they're successful.
But earthly riches are notenough.
Earthly riches without Christare an illusion of success and
true prosperity, which can onlycome through Christ.
Earthly riches often just tryto fill voids, voids that exist,
(27:36):
because we know that even therich commit suicide, even the
rich search for purpose.
One is not complete as a man orwoman without a spirit- man that
is alive in Christ, without asoul that is reborn in Christ.
(27:58):
We entered the world dead, butJesus conquered eternal death so
we can become alive in Christ.
It's not just what matters inthis land of the living, but
what about the afterlife?
And, mind you, most religions,really all religions, believe in
(28:22):
an afterlife.
John 14, 6 says, and this isJesus speaking, "I am the way,
the truth and the life, and nonecan come to the Father but by
me.
John 15 states Abide in me andI in you, as the branch cannot
bear fruit of itself except itabide in the vine.
(28:45):
No more can you, except youabide in me.
I am the vine and you are thebranches.
He that abides in me and I inhim, the same will bring forth
much fruit, for without me youcan do nothing.
If a man not abide in me, he iscast forth as a branch and is
(29:18):
withered and men gather them andcast them into the fire and
they are burned.
" In essence, do not let yourlabors be in vain, do not let
the hustle be in vain, do notsuffer tragedies alone and
overcome in vain.
All paths do not lead to aneternal life of peace.
If one takes the time to readthe most basic tenets of any
(29:38):
religion or any philosophy, it'seasy to discern that these
paths are distinctly differentand lead to distinctly different
eternal outcomes; have adistinct definition of what
enlightenment and perfection is,what damnation is, and what
life beyond death will be, orcannot be.
(29:59):
They do not agree! Don't befooled! To live vicariously is
to die eternally.
To live victoriously is to livein Christ.
To be able to navigate throughthe trials and tribulations of a
fallen world the intimacy ofknowing Jesus Christ will carry
(30:20):
and guide you through.
We must recognize our maker,connect with our maker, and
develop a relationship thatsubstantiates purpose, path, and
prosperity.
2 Corinthians 5, verse 17states, "Therefore, if anyone is
(30:41):
in Christ Jesus, the newcreation has come and the old is
gone, the new is here.
Romans 8, verse 17 says Now, ifwe are children, then we are
heirs, heirs of God and co-heirswith Christ, if indeed we share
(31:05):
in his sufferings in order thatwe may also share in his glory.
Yes, that verse mentionssufferings, but in that
suffering we also share in hisglory, and in his victory and
overcoming.
We are not going through italone.
Even if we feel alone, withoutfamily or friends, we have a
(31:25):
true friend and companion inChrist.
Ephesians, chapter 2, verse 10,states, "e are God's handiwork,
created in Christ Jesus to dogood works which God prepared in
advance for us to do Purpose.
So in these verses we seeidentity, we see relationship,
(31:49):
and we see purpose.
In summary, we have aGod-imprinted identity even
before being born, for, he says,he knew us before we're in our
mother's womb.
We are born with power toovercome.
We have a God-given divinepurpose and the tools,
resources, and companionship andhelper, to overcome any
(32:11):
adversity.
That divine helper comes in theHoly Spirit who connects with
our spirit- man - but that'sanother lesson.
We have a future in God, inChrist, and with him.
Self-destruction is unnecessaryand only evidence of one
(32:31):
succumbing to the powers ofdarkness and death.
It is evidence of a dead orweak spirit and a soul that is
in danger of eternal death -damnation.
It is evidence that the enemyof our soul has taken up
residence and is dictatingeverything about our life.
(32:53):
But, God says there is lifeafter death and he says choose
life, choose him.
In Deuteronomy ch.
30, verse 19, the Lord says, "I call heaven and earth to
record this day against you thatI have set before you life and
(33:14):
death, blessing and cursing.
Therefore, choose life thatboth you and your seed may live.
Choose to connect to JesusChrist.
Choose to connect.
What is the biggest risk youcould take by choosing him?
(33:35):
In Isaiah 41, verse 10, itsays, "do not fear, for I am
with you.
Do not be dismayed, for I amyour God.
I will strengthen you with theright hand of my righteousness.
I will uphold you with myrighteous right hand.
(33:56):
" There you go.
Tap into his life-giving power.
Tap into your God-givenidentity.
Tap in to your authority.
Go deeper if you're in trouble.
(34:17):
I truly care about yourwell-being.
Go deeper if you're fightingfor your life.
and your sanity.
and your peace.
Go deeper and fight! Fight withthe one who has made us
victorious.
Make that divine connection toChrist Jesus.
Until next time, be blessed, beat peace, be in HIM, and be in
(34:43):
love.
Truth drips.
Most of us grow up with hope and desires
.
No matter our environments, Itend to believe that each human
is wired with the desire to livea good life, to live our best
life.
We grow and believe that ourdecisions are going to be just
right and lead us down theyellow brick road of success.
(00:21):
And then, kaboom, stuff happens.
Systems fail, trauma andtragedy strikes when we least
expect it.
Something or somebody screwedit all up.
Now what?
Well, that, now what depends.
(00:42):
But before I answer the nowwhat?
Let me go back to where we allget started, and that is in one
or maybe even two places.
The one place for sure, thatmost of us know about, is in our
mother's womb.
The other is in the spirit,where God knew us first.
(01:06):
Now, don't let me shock you,that's place two.
Don't let me surprise you,especially my non-believers.
It's okay, I will explain a bitlater.
First, I will focus on how mostof us know how we come to be
physical, sentient beings.
We were born and in the processof being born we are under
(01:31):
construction.
The definition of constructionis the process by which
something is built for aspecific purpose.
To construct means to puttogether the components of a
structure according to detailedplans that usually require a
blueprint.
That blueprint includesspecific designs and
(01:53):
measurements and materials forthe creation and construction
towards a final desired outcome.
Now, remember I said, theprocess by which something is
built for a specific purpose.
The key word purpose.
(02:14):
Now, when it comes to humans,our blueprints are in our DNA.
DNA in humans includesinstructions for building and
maintaining the body, dictatingtraits like eye color, height
and even susceptibility tocertain health issues.
It does this by providinginstructions for creating
(02:38):
proteins which are essential forvarious bodily functions, and
while over 99% of DNA is thesame for all humans, the
remaining 1% is responsible forthe unique characteristics that
(03:01):
make each individual different.
Only 1%.
Now, when a mother is pregnant,we know doctors and family
members, especially the parents,are praying for a healthy baby.
We think of the physicality, ofthe baby's health in the womb.
Will the baby be born withperfectly formed limbs and with
a fully developed heart, andwithout any organ deficiencies,
(03:22):
maladies or diseases?
Is the baby going to be a boyor a girl?
And we wonder who they're goingto look like.
Are they going to be born baldor with thick hair or just a few
curling, swirling, wisp aroundtheir beautiful little faces.
Will they be freckled, pale,dark or light?
(03:42):
Will they be pudgy, lanky orbuilt like football players or
gymnasts?
Will they be five-pounders ornine-pounders?
Yes, these are all the thingswe wonder about, even if they're
going to be fussy, easysleepers, or smiley or hard to
satisfy.
Yes, the DNA has a factor inpersonality traits too and we
(04:07):
know that because each child hasdifferent preferences.
Scientists agree that DNAsignificantly impacts
personality by influencingtemperament and predisposing
individuals to certain traitsand behaviors.
While DNA doesn't determinepersonality in a deterministic
(04:28):
way, it does lay the groundworkby affecting biological
processes and brain development,which in turn, influence how a
person interacts with theirenvironment.
So there is a ton of content inthe human blueprint.
Besides the physical, there isthe personality, wrapped in the
(04:50):
soul, which contains free willand emotions.
And, yes, there is a spiritwaiting to come alive.
Surprised?
The spirit is often ignored andconsidered to be a part of the
soul or interchangeably referredto as one's soul, but many
(05:15):
faith systems definitely speakto the spirit being a separate
part, an essential part of thehuman being.
Nevertheless, we grow.
We grow up black or white,yellow, red or brown and, yes,
each color has a code for life.
(05:35):
In that code, we grow with aspecific culture, a specific
language or languages, andtastes; likes and dislikes,
expectations and opportunities.
I believe most of us only thinkof ourselves as being formed in
our mother's womb.
(05:55):
Then we pop out, are raised byone or two parents, we grow to
adulthood and then decide howwe're going to live our lives
and fulfill our dreams anddesires.
At some point, though, weapproach the pinnacle of our
human construction, whichactually, to me, never truly
reaches completion until we arewell into our senior years.
(06:17):
And, I agree with the famedpsychologist, Eric Erickson, who
states that there are many keystages to life, each marked by
an internal conflict we all mustwork through.
One of those critical stages isdeemed, "identity versus role-
confusion, and it describes theprocess of forming a sense of
(06:41):
self.
His position goes on to statethat this stage typically begins
in adolescence when we startseparating from our caregivers
and asking big questions like,'who am I really'?
But it doesn't stop there.
Throughout adulthood, as ourrelationships, environments, and
(07:02):
goals change, our identitycontinues to evolve.
Erickson's work reminds us thatquestioning who we are isn't a
sign that something's wrong.
No, it's a sign we're growing.
With his theory in mind, Itruly concur that in that time
we are truly vulnerable.
(07:24):
Yes, we are vulnerable.
We are vulnerable in each stageof life.
The process of reconstructionand recalibration can make us
vulnerable to our ownself-destruction if we're not
careful, if we lack a key factor, which I will review shortly.
(07:45):
First, I'll discuss the processof reconstruction.
Reconstruction refers to therebuilding, renovation or repair
of a structure with the intentto redesign for better living.
It is a modification forimprovements.
We can initiate this process onour own, by self-initiative, or
(08:09):
someone or something else cancause it.
Whatever or whoever, it must bea productive, constructive
response.
It's required for success.
When we recalibrate our livesfor reconstruction, we might do
that by changing employers,changing careers completely,
(08:33):
changing partners or spouses, bychanging residences or
relocating to another town orcountry altogether, and the list
goes on.
We do all of that with theexpectation that everything will
work out for the better.
Next, we have self-destruction,which can occur for the same
(08:58):
reasons.
We recalibrate and reconstructbecause something in our life
was not enough, something wentwrong, and instead of positively
recalibrating andreconstructing, we seek an
escape, an altered state perhaps.
We try to numb ourselves andfill ourselves with something
(09:24):
that will satisfy the pain, butall of them are short-term
responses and band-aids to adeeper problem.
Self-destruction is formallydefined as, "a person deciding
to engage in behavior that islikely to make them fail or
(09:47):
cause them to be harmed, do harm, kill or be killed.
Now that might sound verydramatic and extreme, but it is
a very pressing reality and,again, mind you, that is a
formal definition.
So, whether you initiate yourreconstruction or it is forced
(10:08):
upon you, or whether you arebent on self-destructive
behavior by repeatedlyparticipating in vices that
destroy your mental health,physical, emotional, relational
or financial health, we are allat risk.
And, yes, there's a big unless.
(10:28):
Do I sound fatalistic?
Maybe, but there is a reasonand I will share statistics with
you to support my position.
Statistics show that asignificant number of people
experience feelings related tobeing lost and lacking a strong
sense of identity, though it'soften discussed in the context
(10:52):
of loneliness and a crisis ofbelonging, Harvard and other
research studies find thatrelationships and identity
impact healthy living.
There is a lack of meaningfulrelationships.
Studies show that approximatelytwo in five Americans feel that
their relationships are notmeaningful.
(11:15):
The American PsychologicalAssociation's Dictionary of
Psychology defines an identitycrisis, "'as a period of
uncertainty and confusion inwhich a person's sense of
identity becomes insecure, oftentriggered by a change in their
expected role or direction inlife'.
During this identity crisis, aperson's sense of self becomes
(11:41):
insecure and unstable.
They experience confusion aboutwho they are and may question
long-held beliefs and theirpurpose in life.
Their mental health will suffer.
An identity crisis also oftenoccurs when a person experiences
(12:01):
a significant life event alife-altering illness, the loss
of a family member or friend, orjob layoffs.
Even surprisingly positive lifeevents like a marriage, the
birth of a child or promotioncan cause an identity
disturbance.
But, like Erickson and otherpsychologists state, any crisis
(12:24):
can lead to self-destructivebehavior, especially when one
lacks a strong sense of self andbeing.
Now statistics also speak ofincreased addictions in our
society - increased homicide andsuicide rates post-COVID.
As of 2023, approximately 59million people ages 12 and older
(12:49):
- 12 and older, have usedillegal drugs or misused
prescription drugs within thepast year.
About 25% of illegal drug usershave a drug disorder.
Tobacco and nicotine, toinclude vaping, have been
(13:11):
highest among young adults ages18 to 25.
Studies go on to show thatapproximately 28 million
Americans ages 12 and over havean alcohol use disorder.
The age adjusted suicide ratein the US has generally
increased in the past decade.
(13:32):
In 2022 and beyond, the ageadjusted suicide rate was 14.2%
per 100,000.
I'm sorry, 14.2 per 100,000.
It reflects an increase from10.4 per 100,000 in the year
2000.
So suicides consistentlyoutnumber homicides in the US
(13:56):
from 2011 to 2020.
So we see by these statisticsthat rates of drug abuse, drug
addictions, suicide rates.
and even homicide rates haveincreased.
In 2020 and 2021, there was a30% jump in homicides.
(14:19):
It was a very large increasecompared to the 20th century.
Now, that's according to theCouncil on Criminal Justice.
So I ask why, why, why?
Why?
The reason and the answer tothe why might lie in what
(14:40):
happened or what should havehappened or what didn't happen.
Did the person fail torecalibrate properly or
successfully when things wentsouth?
Did the reconstruction phasenever take place or move
successfully from point A topoint B with the goal of
self-actualization in mind?
(15:00):
Remember, at the beginning ofthe podcast, I stated that we
were all vulnerable to theprocess of reconstruction and
vulnerable to our ownself-destruction - If we aren't
equipped.
We must be equipped.
I also stated that we have aspirit and, mind you, most of us
(15:25):
know us to be made of a body,which is our flesh, and a soul,
which includes our cognitiveabilities, our emotions, our
thought life, our personalities.
But there is a spirit man thatlies beneath, and I believe our
(15:46):
failure to overcome thedrive-bys, the traumas, and the
tragedies that provoke a needfor reconstruction periods that
can lead to our self-destructionand a lack of developing a
strong sense of identity andunderstanding our roles or sense
of purpose all break downbecause we have failed to
(16:09):
nurture our spirit man.
We fail to recognize our trueidentities.
One might ask what does ourspirit man have to do with
anything?
That sounds so fictional?
"I'm not spiritual, I'm not aspiritual person, one might say.
Am I not complete with my bodyand soul?
How does this even relate to mytrue identity and to me moving
(16:32):
successfully in life?
Okay, I'll answer all of thosequestions.
First, what is the spirit?
Many philosophers, theologians,psychologists and sociologists
speculate and define what thespirit is.
Eternal or transcendent, theymight say.
(16:53):
In some perspectives, the humanspirit is seen as having a
connection to a higher power oras something that continues to
exist after death.
Besides the soul, the spiritcan be defined as the most inner
part of the self that, withoutnurturing, remains dead or
inactive.
(17:13):
Many religions and spiritualtraditions view the human spirit
as a divine element or a sparkof the divine that resides
within each human being.
It connects humans to thedivine, to the realm of the
spirit, to a higherconsciousness.
(17:34):
And why?
Well, for the purpose of growthand higher development.
You can look at Hinduism andBuddhism and other faith systems
that discuss developing thatother part of the self that must
connect with the spirit realmto find peace and a higher level
(17:55):
of intellect, a higher abilityto live successfully, to
understand and comprehend morethan what we see.
A common theme in religion isoften described as a pathway for
personal growth andtransformation.
Many religions offer paths topersonal growth, enlightenment
(18:17):
or spiritual transformation.
Practices like chanting,meditation, yoga, prayer and
acts of service are often seenas ways to cultivate positive
qualities and connect us with ahigher power or universal truth.
(18:37):
Because I'm a Christian, a truebeliever in Jesus Christ as my
Savior, my understanding andunwavering belief is that the
spirit in us is of God.
Yes, that we do have a spiritthat is separate from our soul.
Here is where I address the"now what, the unless for
(19:00):
success, the unless that Imentioned at the beginning of
the podcast; the "why we mightbe vulnerable after the tragedy
and the trauma strike, the whatto do's and the how to navigate
the traumatic events.
My secret weapon lies in myspirit- man.
(19:21):
Our secret weapon lies in ourspirit.
The human spirit can be definedas the incorporeal part of man.
The Bible says the human spiritis the very breath of the
Almighty God.
In Genesis 2, verse 27,.
(19:45):
It states," so God createdmankind in his own image.
In the image of God, he createdthem male and female.
He created them.
" Now.
God is a spirit and the maleand female are spirits.
They existed before the fleshwas born.
(20:07):
Now, I suggest reading Genesischapter 1 and 2 and 3 to
understand this in more depthand take your time with it.
"Then the Lord God formed a manfrom the dust of the ground and
breathed into his nostrils thebreath of life, and the man
became a living being.
(20:28):
Hence, God blew his spirit intous and that breath of life made
us living souls.
Now, we are spirit and webecome souls inside the flesh.
In Genesis, chapter 8, I'm sorry, chapter 2, verse 28, it says,
(20:53):
"God blessed them and said tothem 'be fruitful and increase
in number, fill the earth andsubdue it, rule over the fish in
the sea and the birds in thesky and over every living
creature that moves on theground'.
" Both male and female weregiven that command and the
(21:18):
responsibility to rule.
Again, we are flesh; we aresouls, where our will, emotions,
and intellect exist; and we arespirits where we connect with
God, our creator and maker.
In essence, I have answeredboth questions.
Who are we and why are we?
We are spirit beings with adivine purpose, with a soul
(21:45):
connection and human bodies.
We have a God identity and aGod given purpose.
We have authority.
We have territory.
We have responsibility andthat's to live out God's will.
In 2 Timothy 1, verse 7, itsays, " God gave us a spirit not
(22:13):
of fear, but of power and loveand self-control.
Some versions read, " and Goddid not create us with a spirit
of fear, but of love, power anda sound mind.
Proof.
We are made of a spirit, aspirit endowed with power that
(22:35):
establishes us.
1st Thessalonians 5, verse 23reads, " and now may the God of
peace himself sanctify youcompletely and may your whole
spirit, soul, and body be keptblameless at the coming of your
(22:56):
Lord Jesus Christ".
In Genesis, when Adam and Evefell from grace, our spirit men
literally died.
Death entered in and, again, Iwould suggest everyone read
Genesis chapter 1, 2, and 3 fordeeper understanding.
(23:19):
The authority and power thatwas granted to Adam and Eve on
earth was then transferred to afallen spirit or angel known as
Lucifer or Satan.
When Jesus, the Word of God,became flesh, he became the life
of men.
He transferred the authorityback to mankind by living
(23:42):
triumphantly over sin.
He did not succumb totemptation or the deception of
Satan or any tragedies thattried to destroy him.
He voluntarily gave his lifethat we might have life.
He proved that he was willingto die to self and live for God.
He knew his purpose, he knewhis identity.
(24:04):
He did what Adam and Eve failedto do.
Jesus developed an intenselyintimate relationship with
Father God in prayer.
In essence, our victories inlife and over the periods of
reconstruction and recalibrationcome through having an intimate
knowledge and relationship withGod, with Jesus Christ.
(24:28):
Self-destruction can totally beavoided.
Hebrews, chapter 4, verse 12,supports this.
It says, "The Word of God isliving and powerful.
(24:56):
Scripture makes the cleardistinction between the soul and
spirit, revealing the need forgrowth of one's soul and the
growth of one's spirit.
We may stumble and fall, we mayget hit hard with trauma and
tragedy, but the word of Godsays we are overcomers, because
(25:20):
he died for every sin and everytragedies.
He died for our authority andhe died for that transfer of
power to come back to us ashumans.
So tragedy and heartache maycome because we live in a fallen
world where the enemy of oursoul seeks to kill, steal and
destroy us by any means possible.
(25:41):
But we are victorious when welink up and when we grow up.
If we don't, we are vulnerableto the devices of the enemy of
our soul.
We will get swallowed up anddevoured.
And if we don't know better, ifwe don't have that strength, if
(26:05):
we don't have that maturity,that spiritual maturity, that
soulish maturity, thatconnection between the two, we
just might turn to addictionsand self-destructive behavior,
big and small.
We have to feed our spiritswith truth and with power.
(26:26):
Our spirits are dead withoutChrist.
But by the word of God, by theacceptance of Christ Jesus as
our Savior, our spirit men arereborn.
We are no longer walking dead.
It is because we lackrelationship with our creator
that we are lost, that we are atrisk, that we are literally
(26:50):
doomed and in constant danger ofbeing overcome to the point of
eternal damnation.
I am not exaggerating.
We fail to self-actualizebecause we don't actually know
who we are, who we belong to,what we're made of and why we
are made.
Even millionaires are failing.
(27:11):
You might say, " Are youkidding me?
They have everything, they canbuy everything, they can buy
pleasure, they're successful.
But earthly riches are notenough.
Earthly riches without Christare an illusion of success and
true prosperity, which can onlycome through Christ.
Earthly riches often just tryto fill voids, voids that exist,
(27:36):
because we know that even therich commit suicide, even the
rich search for purpose.
One is not complete as a man orwoman without a spirit- man that
is alive in Christ, without asoul that is reborn in Christ.
(27:58):
We entered the world dead, butJesus conquered eternal death so
we can become alive in Christ.
It's not just what matters inthis land of the living, but
what about the afterlife?
And, mind you, most religions,really all religions, believe in
(28:22):
an afterlife.
John 14, 6 says, and this isJesus speaking, "I am the way,
the truth and the life, and nonecan come to the Father but by
me.
John 15 states Abide in me andI in you, as the branch cannot
bear fruit of itself except itabide in the vine.
(28:45):
No more can you, except youabide in me.
I am the vine and you are thebranches.
He that abides in me and I inhim, the same will bring forth
much fruit, for without me youcan do nothing.
If a man not abide in me, he iscast forth as a branch and is
(29:18):
withered and men gather them andcast them into the fire and
they are burned.
" In essence, do not let yourlabors be in vain, do not let
the hustle be in vain, do notsuffer tragedies alone and
overcome in vain.
All paths do not lead to aneternal life of peace.
If one takes the time to readthe most basic tenets of any
(29:38):
religion or any philosophy, it'seasy to discern that these
paths are distinctly differentand lead to distinctly different
eternal outcomes; have adistinct definition of what
enlightenment and perfection is,what damnation is, and what
life beyond death will be, orcannot be.
(29:59):
They do not agree! Don't befooled! To live vicariously is
to die eternally.
To live victoriously is to livein Christ.
To be able to navigate throughthe trials and tribulations of a
fallen world the intimacy ofknowing Jesus Christ will carry
(30:20):
and guide you through.
We must recognize our maker,connect with our maker, and
develop a relationship thatsubstantiates purpose, path, and
prosperity.
2 Corinthians 5, verse 17states, "Therefore, if anyone is
(30:41):
in Christ Jesus, the newcreation has come and the old is
gone, the new is here.
Romans 8, verse 17 says Now, ifwe are children, then we are
heirs, heirs of God and co-heirswith Christ, if indeed we share
(31:05):
in his sufferings in order thatwe may also share in his glory.
Yes, that verse mentionssufferings, but in that
suffering we also share in hisglory, and in his victory and
overcoming.
We are not going through italone.
Even if we feel alone, withoutfamily or friends, we have a
(31:25):
true friend and companion inChrist.
Ephesians, chapter 2, verse 10,states, "e are God's handiwork,
created in Christ Jesus to dogood works which God prepared in
advance for us to do Purpose.
So in these verses we seeidentity, we see relationship,
(31:49):
and we see purpose.
In summary, we have aGod-imprinted identity even
before being born, for, he says,he knew us before we're in our
mother's womb.
We are born with power toovercome.
We have a God-given divinepurpose and the tools,
resources, and companionship andhelper, to overcome any
(32:11):
adversity.
That divine helper comes in theHoly Spirit who connects with
our spirit- man - but that'sanother lesson.
We have a future in God, inChrist, and with him.
Self-destruction is unnecessaryand only evidence of one
(32:31):
succumbing to the powers ofdarkness and death.
It is evidence of a dead orweak spirit and a soul that is
in danger of eternal death -damnation.
It is evidence that the enemyof our soul has taken up
residence and is dictatingeverything about our life.
(32:53):
But, God says there is lifeafter death and he says choose
life, choose him.
In Deuteronomy ch.
30, verse 19, the Lord says, "I call heaven and earth to
record this day against you thatI have set before you life and
(33:14):
death, blessing and cursing.
Therefore, choose life thatboth you and your seed may live.
Choose to connect to JesusChrist.
Choose to connect.
What is the biggest risk youcould take by choosing him?
(33:35):
In Isaiah 41, verse 10, itsays, "do not fear, for I am
with you.
Do not be dismayed, for I amyour God.
I will strengthen you with theright hand of my righteousness.
I will uphold you with myrighteous right hand.
(33:56):
" There you go.
Tap into his life-giving power.
Tap into your God-givenidentity.
Tap in to your authority.
Go deeper if you're in trouble.
(34:17):
I truly care about yourwell-being.
Go deeper if you're fightingfor your life.
and your sanity.
and your peace.
Go deeper and fight! Fight withthe one who has made us
victorious.
Make that divine connection toChrist Jesus.
Until next time, be blessed, beat peace, be in HIM, and be in
(34:43):
love.
Truth drips.
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