All Episodes

September 23, 2025 48 mins

Send us a text

Are you keeping score in your marriage? If you find yourself thinking "I'll do X when she does Y," you're not alone. This transactional approach is common, but it's also toxic. In this eye-opening episode, I reveal why trading contracts for covenant is the key to building a thriving, lasting marriage.


The Hidden Danger of Scorekeeping

I share a personal story about how I nearly sabotaged my own marriage by:

  • a) Silently setting unrealistic standards
  • b) Withdrawing effort when I felt underappreciated
  • c) Treating love like a business transaction

Learn why this mindset is so destructive and how to recognize if you've fallen into the same trap.

Agape Love: The Antidote to Transactional Marriage

Discover the four pillars of agape love and how to implement them:

  • a) Covenant identity: Putting "we" before "me"
  • b) Self-governance: Owning your inputs and showing up as your best self
  • c) Creative service: Anticipating needs without expectation
  • d) Radical safety: Creating a zero-sarcasm zone and mastering conflict repair

But what truly sets this episode apart is the breakdown of how to create intimacy without transaction. You'll learn why pressure breaks connection and how to restore it.

Practical Tools for Transformation

Uncover:

  • a) The weekly agape audit to keep your love on track
  • b) Three powerful scripts to enhance appreciation and connection
  • c) The "green light board" concept for a healthier approach to physical intimacy
  • d) Why your health is a crucial act of love towards your spouse

Are you ready to retire the scoreboard and build real, lasting love?

Tune in for a 90-day experiment to revolutionize your marriage, starting today. This isn't just about avoiding conflict; it's about creating the kind of covenant relationship that withstands life's toughest challenges.

Referenced Episodes:

·      The 5-Minute Marriage Reset: Calm Escalating Arguments Fast

·      Why Most Tough Conversations Fail (And the 10-Step Fix That Actually Works)


Sponsors:

MyPillow

Free MyPillow Promo Code "THRIVE" for up to 80% off your entire order at MyPillow!  www.mypillow.com/thrive

 

Want to Share Your Message with the World?
Looking to be a guest on a podcast and reach a wider audience? Or maybe you host your own podcast and want to find amazing, high-quality guests—without the hassle?

If you answered yes, PodMatch is exactly what you need. Join Here: https://www.joinpodmatch.com/driven2thrive

 

Support our podcast: 

Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thefallibleman 

  

S06E34 of the Driven 2 Thrive Broadcast

 

Want to be a guest on Driven 2 Thrive: Purpose, Growth, and Lasting Impact For Men? Send David Dowlen a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/driven2thrive

 

DISCLAIMER: This post & video is designed for educational and/or informational purposes only and should not be used in any other manner. Links included in this description might be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide I may receive a small commission. There is no additional charge to y

Support the show

Mark as Played

Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.